Chapter Text
Helllo my name is Utena Tenjou and I have long pink hair and blue eyes with light skin and a lot of people say I look like a mix of the Princess Knight, Haruka Tenouh and Lady Oscar (if you don’t know who they are get the hell out of here)! And most importantly I amnot a lesbian! I am str8, le circnels and Saionji and Judy.
Or well, a I am sually pink haired but rn I look like my girlfriend I mean girl friend Himememe Angie. Because of tim curry. She is good at cookin but there waz a spice (jot the vocaloid song) and now we switched bodyes.
But was that a good idea
While I was walking with ny husband Urenshil I mean my wife Himemia I mean with my body I mean…No homo, I was walking with Ansgie who was inside me(NO HOMO) Wakaba came and jumped to her or me.
“Utena-semeeeen!” she said, tackling Angela, “I was so worriyed! I thought you died! Or that the explision turned you straight!”
Whle Akaba said that, Angie collaposed on the flour.
“UTENSIL-SAMA! Noooo! Don’t die! I killed you! OH MY DIOS! I KILLED UTENSIL-SAMA, YOU BASTARDS! AMBULANCE! MORGUE! FBI! INTERPOL! SOMEONE!”
“You fucking bi---I mean…There is no need…I am ok…”
“Maybe it actually tuened you straight.”
“I AM NOT GAY!” I yelled.
“Then why do you date my Utena-sama.”
“I AM NOT DATIN MYSELF I AM DATING ANGIE HIMEHIMEN SHE IS MY WIFE”
“…It turned Utena-sama straight, and it gave you …Maybe you need to lay down a bit.”
“YOU ARE GETTING VERY FULL OF YOURSELF LATELY, HEMEHIMEN ANSHIE!”
“Is it because you are around that lesbian?”
“That lesbian will not be into you always!”
“I AM NOT A LESBIAN! AND DON’T DARE YOU SAY I WOULD BREAK UP WTH MY WIFE!”
And so, I got slapped.
Thus, I skapped those bitches back.
“You…slapped me! Not even my mama slapped me!”
“Talk shit, get hit.”
I was walking with my girl friend Himemmiya.
“I don’t know if Husband Uterus has ever experience dgender dysphoria, but I suppose she must feel somewhat like that rn.”
“I want to go back to nroaml as soon as possible!” I said. “I am not a queer! I may be gay, a lesbian, queer, but never a cishet!”
“If you say so, my husband.”
And while talking to Angie, we found Siaonji-sandpie.
“I have been waintinf for u, my love!”
“Ah shit.”
“I see you are with your usual pink haired tomboy lesbian. Must be hard being hit on by a woman when you don’t like women, not that I would know about that since I am straight! I am so straight I will in fact show you I am str8! Cum with me!”
“Should I come with you, Husband”?
“Leave that for our bedroom! I mean…”
“No one asked you, lesbian. Let’s go, Ansgie!”
And so, Weedhair-sandpai took me to the…gym storage room? Lik in those weird anime Miki watches alone…I never asked what they were about, but he seemed flustered. Idk I am not smart.
“I have been wainting ofr this day, Anti.”
“…twitter discourse?”
…do they roleplay anime scenarios here…? Because he talks like in a dramatic anime.
“I want you to fulfill yor promise!”
I put my best anme girl hightpitec voice.
“What do you mean, onii-chan?”
“Kinky today, aren’t we. As I was saying…Today is the second day of the weak! It’s the day we explore or rabu!
“Which anime is this?!”
“Let’s doo what witb always do! And remember the Onii-chan part! Our union is real, even when fate is against our incestuous romance! Because society judges us, we have to keep it a secret!”
HE IS TALKIN IS CLOTHES OFF MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY
“DON’T TURN AWAY YOUR GAZW! LOK AT ME! LOOK A TYOUR FLESH AND BOOD! UR ONII-CHAN! The truth is wrriten here…! In our rp logs! Our exchange diary! You need to continue the rp!”
“…oh.”
Saionji-sandpie surely is…an intense writer. ‘Saionji and Anthy make passionate and romantic love under a moonlit sky, in the wild rain forest of south america’, ‘Saionji and Anthy Kanon inspired rp no titlte yet’, ‘Saionji and Anthy my ittle sister can’t be this cute rp’, ‘saionhi and anthy forbidden love rp’, ‘saionji and anthy forbideen romance insectuous 18 nsfw rp’…The more I read, the worse it gets.
“And then…Saionji put his…inside…little sister…with…moan…’Kiiimochii’…Is this legal?”
“Oh, you are reading Saionji (bitch)-senpai’s fantasies, Utensil-sama? In page 69 there is a really good one where he calls me touga!”
“…I ain’t reading all of this.”
“Oh well! You miss comedy gold!”
“…You know, maybe I can continue diz.”
I was running towards denpai, with the diary in hand.
“Onii-chaaaaan! I am sorry! I couldn’t stop once I started!”
“It’s ok, Ansghi! In rp, long responses are the best! Let’s see where the forbidden love plot goes! I am sure it will be as great as a Chiho saoito manga! Let’s see…and then Anthy took a giant pair of scissors…and put them in…AND CUT OFF SAIONJI-ONIICHANS…”
“Well, I have to go! Talking of Big brothers…!”
Nanami came in a limo, with a tan, and curry spice to turn ous back to nroaml.
“ONII-SAMAAAA! I BROUGHT THE CU…”
She face planted.
“…my…marvelous…curry…My curry…! My tim currie…”
“ANTHY!” Siaonji-senpai came back. “WHAT THE HELL SI THAT? THAT’S AN AWFUL ANSWER, YOUR CHARACTER COULD NEVER DO THAT! REWRITE IT!”
“Oh dear.” Said himemia. “Why don’t we first eat? I am hungry.”
…somwhow, there was another explosion.