Chapter Text
Sunday 24th March 1996
Wearing a clean set of pyjamas and lying in freshly-changed bedsheets, Callum is trying to sleep; if only he couldn't hear the shouting from the adjacent living-room.
"DO YOU WANT CALLUM PUT IN CARE, DAD, 'COS THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE HE'S GOING IF YOU DON'T STOP GOING OUT AND GETTING PISSED EVERY NIGHT!"
The anger which has built up in Stuart's head has overspilled from the mental jibes his father fires.
"YOU'RE A FINE ONE TO TALK ABOUT GETTING PISSED EVERY NIGHT, SON!"
Hypocrisy is one thing Jonno can't tolerate.
"NOT AS MUCH AS YOU!"
Jonno's scoff is loud enough for Callum to hear from his bedroom.
With a calmer, yet equally vicious tone, Stuart knows what he's about to say crosses the line, but maybe that's what he must do to make his ignorant and stupid father realise how he is fucking up not just his own life – but that of his two sons.
"No wonder Mum left you."
It's the red rag Jonno's been waiting for.
"YOU FUCKIN' PRICK!"
He races over and thrusts Stuart against the wall, arm pinning him up by his neck.
"She didn't just leave because of me! It was just as much YOUR fault, Stuart."
The teenager wants to snap back at his raging father, but, as to acknowledge he is actually right, he holds a threating stare into his father's eyes.
"Going to borstal for all that shit ruined her, and you KNOW it did."
"Yeh, and you were a saint and all too, weren't you? You're just lucky no-one grassed YOU up. Or you wouldn't take the rap like I did."
"I did that for the boy."
"AND I'M NOT A BOY EITHER?! I WAS NEVER YOUR BOY!"
Jonno's face gets redder, not with embarrassment but with anger.
"I WAS OFF FIGHTING WARS FOR YOU AND HER!"
"AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT BY BEING THERE WHEN WE NEEDED YOU?!?"
Jonno knows he can't give a rational excuse.
"D'YA THINK IF I'D HAVE KNOWN WHAT THAT FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT DID TO YOU, I'D HAVE BEEN BACK HERE IN A HEARTBEAT?!?"
Stuart pushes his father away, starting to crumble with tears.
"YOU DIDN'T, THOUGH!"
Jonno falls silent.
"How could I tell you when you were never here to tell? How could I tell you, even where you were here, because you'd spend all your time on leave or post-army getting hammered?! How could I tell you when I thought you'd probably call me a fucking queer and that I'd asked – BEGGED – for it?"
Jonno mutters, "Don't..."
"Don't 'don't' me, alright? You left me with no choice than to tell Mum. You KNEW that'd be what broke her in the end. And now what? You don't give a SHIT that I'M the one keeping this family's heads above water!"
Jonno's eyes can't stop watering.
"I'm not even 20, and here I am, breadwinner of the Highway house, supporting my little brother when that should be YOUR job."
"I can't do it myself," winces Jonno.
"Yeh, CAN'T – WON'T more like! Where has all your army money gone? Drink! Not the things we NEED that come out of MY wages!"
"I know I'm useless..."
"You're BEYOND USELESS! Maybe it would be better if poor Callum was in care after all."
Still awake in his bed, Callum doesn't know what care means in that context; he only knows that care means love, and that everyone should care for each other.
The front door of the flat is banged shut, and Callum's eyes are now teary following another evening of argument.
-
More shouting wakes Callum up sometime later; what sounds like Stuart's voice.
Once his eyes are open, the little boy turns around under the duvet to face his older brother's bed.
In the dark of the bedroom they share, Callum can see Stuart's restlessness; his legs kick furiously as his quilt creates the illusion he's shaking and he can't control himself.
All of a sudden, Stuart shoots up in bed, snapped out of the nightmare he's just endured.
Feeling like his heart could explode, the teenager takes slow, measured breaths, and wipes the sweat from his brow – and from the corner of his eye, spots his little brother looking directly at him.
"Cal," he whispers, "I'm sorry I woke you up."
As if he was aware of the anguish and anxiety coursing through Stuart's mind, body and soul, Callum pulls his duvet back and gets out of his own bed, walking towards that of his brother's.
"You want me to lie in with you, Stuart?"
It wouldn't have been the first time the Highway brothers would share the same bed: the occasions when Callum had had a scary dream, it was Stuart's duty to lay beside him and assure him back into a comfortable sleep; now, roles have been reversed.
Stuart shifts across his bed to make enough space for his little brother to climb in, and Callum accepts the invitation. Once settled on the far side of the mattress from his sibling, Stuart places his quilt around Callum, and looking at his watch before lying back down, watches over the birthday boy as he gradually falls asleep again.
THE END