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2020-04-06
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2024-04-16
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Recovered

Chapter 26

Notes:

Two chapters for my lovely ducklings. Onward my ducklings.

Chapter Text

“You do not have to do this Harry.”

 

“Yes. I do.”  That doesn’t stop the deep sick pit in my gut though. “I swear though, I will not let anyone say a word against you.”  He laughs and takes my hand. 

 

“Harry, I’m not in the least concerned. They may say whatever they desire against me, it will not impact me emotionally. I’m quite familiar with being criticized.” He reminds me in a playful tone, but it only makes me more defensive. 

 

“No. Severus, I’m serious about this. They don’t have to accept my sexual orientation. They don’t have to accept our relationship. But they will be respectful to you or they will be made to leave. I will not tolerate anyone treating you less than you deserve. And if anyone has the audacity to harass you if I’m not around I expect you to tell me.”

 

Severus prefers blatant and blunt statements. He’s told me that it makes a relationship easier for him, and he’s very much the same with me. He’s blunt and selfish and vocal with his wants and needs. 

 

I love it. 

 

I love hearing him state that he wants to rest his head on my chest. I love hearing him state that he wants me to eat him out again. I love hearing him state that he needs a vocal reassurance that I love him. 

 

It’s easy to love him. And it’s easy to verbalize what I need from him in return. 

 

The Weasleys are coming. Well, not just them. Neville and Luna are coming as well, but seeing as they already know to a certain extent, I’m not as worried about them. Honestly I appreciate having a known ally. Someone that will protect Severus need be. Abagail is smoothing her dress down while Ginny brushes her hair. 

 

“Harry. I’ve not told anyone the meaning of the dinner, but I do want to warn you a bit. Though I’ve insisted it’s not the case, my parents believe you are going to propose to me tonight.” She braids Abagail's hair. They’ve been spending a lot of time together, and she’s at my home more often than not. “I’m sure Ron knows that’s not the case, but he’s been tight lipped.  Not sure if he’s decided not to be a prat or if me threatening to castrate him if he outed you is what caused it.”

 

“It will be fine.”  Once the news of our marriage contract comes out everyone will know my sexual orientation. It’s still not something that I want to be regular gossip, but at least this way I will have some control. A very small part of me wanted to continue to hide this part of myself away, but a much larger part wants to be able to scream from every rooftop in London that Severus is mine. 

 

I have no intention of hiding Severus.

 

Luna and Neville arrive a little early. Neville greats me while Luna immediately goes to Severus. 

 

“I was hoping to see you feeling well.”  She smiles easily at him.  

 

“Ms Lovegood.”

 

“Luna I’d it’s all the same to you, Ms Longbottom if you must.” Her voice is airy and light. 

 

“Right, Longbottom. Harry told me you two were married. I knew that.”

 

“I would much prefer Luna if you are able, and I’ll call you Severus if you are willing.”

 

“That..” it takes Severus a moment, but he doesn’t look displeased only a bit uncertain. “That is acceptable Ms Luna.  Mr. Longbottom.” He greets tensely min Neville's direction.  Neville makes it a point to give Severus a wide berth. Both Luna and myself are in between the two. 

 

“Please. Just Neville.”

 

“I am immensely sorry for my actions when you were a child. I was playing a role, but that is no exception for…” 

 

“Severus, think nothing of it. It was a lifetime ago. I was a terror in the classroom.”

 

“I was your boggart. No student should be terrified of their teacher to that extent. I held an unfounded anger towards you over something completely out of your control. I have no excuse for my abhorrent behavior towards you, and you have every right to hold grudges and hatred towards me.” 

 

“Severus,” he takes a tentative step forward and instinctively Severus takes several backwards. He’s afraid. Terrified even. Luna presses her hands on Severus’s arm and smiles very gently.

 

“Neville, sweetums. Take a step back.”  He does and Severus relaxes. 

 

“Severus.” Neville starts again. “I don’t hold anything against you. It happened in the past. You and I aren’t the same people we were then and well Harry adores you, so how could I possibly hate you.”

 

Severus nods slowly as if trying to understand.

 

The table is set, and it looks grander than I really feel comfortable with, but Nil got carried away in his excitement. Severus is standing more stiffly on the cane so I encourage him to the table. The Weasley’s will arrive any moment. I help Severus to a seat towards the middle of the table on the side closer to the wall. No one at anytime will have a reason to walk behind him and I’ll be to his left. On his right is Abagail. Across from him is Luna with Neville across from me. He’s surrounded by people that care about him. 

 

Nil shows the Weasleys in and bids them to sit. I don’t get up to greet them as I normally would. A part of me wants to run to Molly and embrace her like a mother like I once could, but that isn’t a reality anymore. Ron doesn’t make eye contact with me and Hermione looks as if she is still trying to solve a puzzle. 

 

“It’s been too long.” Mr. Weasley says.  

 

“It’s so good to see you again Harry.”  Mrs. Weasley continues. Both size Severus up but don’t comment on his presence. They knew of course that Severus was in my care. All of the wizarding world knows. But to see him with his hair pulled back from his freshly washed face. Skin still pale but a less yellow shade than before the war. I picked out his robes for the night and he looks good in them. Very good. 

 

Even sitting, the robes compliment his slender long body. They aren’t extravagant- he just wouldn’t feel comfortable in less practical wear. I did get the clothes tailored to fit him perfectly though. He still is dressed in black, but the shade is deeper with indigo hints. He’s absolutely fetching. I want to unwrap him, but I ignore my growing desires. Tonight is just a chore to tick off. 

 

George takes a seat isolated a bit from the rest. He doesn’t look like how he use to, but that’s by design. His hair is dyed black and his eyes are charmed a darker color as well so that he doesn’t see Fred in a passing reflection. Ginny has told me that he is doing much better. Most days he can laugh and occasionally he will pull a prank. 

 

Meaningless conversation starts as food is served. Severus doesn’t serve himself much, but I grab him a roll and place it in his palm. Quietly he tears pieces off and eats the roll crumb by crumb. I can’t blame him, I’m having difficulty eating more than a few mouthfuls. 

 

“Harry.  What’s going on?” Hermione smiles pleadingly. 

 

“Give him a moment dear.” Ms Weasley smiles wide. “I’m sure whatever news he has will be very exciting.”

 

“Yes actually. It is very exciting. I have begun the steps to enter a marriage contract.”  Severus is hunching in on himself and continues to pull a roll apart more playing with it than eating it. I still notice how his hands tremble. 

 

“Is that so?”  Ms Weasley elbows Ginny excitedly. Ron’s eyes are wide looking at me. 

 

“Yes. Severus and I are ironing out the contract, but we both feel this is more a formality.”

 

“Se…verus.”  Ms Weasley chokes out. “You… intend to marry… him.”  She’s waiting for the punch line. I can tell she’s waiting for me to laugh at my partner’s expense and tell her it was all a prank. 

 

Hermione is dead silent mulling over everything to finally get the answers she’s been craving. 

 

Luna is clapping and congratulating Severus by firmly grasping his hands ignoring the broken roll abused there. 

 

George is laughing crazed, not even breathing.

 

“Yes. Absolutely. Once the media knows I’m sure the whole of the wizarding world will be in an uproar. I wouldn’t be surprised if reporters even began questioning you and your family. I wanted you to be prepared. 

 

“Harry, dear.  This is a really interesting joke, but…”

 

“It’s not a joke. I’m in love with Severus and I intend to marry him.”

 

“No no dear. I understand that he… helped you during the war, but…”

 

“Severus is one of the reasons the light won. He didn’t just help. He was the linchpin to our victory.”

 

“Mom, stop.” Ginny starts.

 

“Not now Ginerva.  You don’t love him dear. It’s normal to have cold feet before settling down and having a family.”

 

“I don’t have cold feet. I love him, and will be settling down with him.”

 

“If you aren’t ready to marry Ginny then we can wait longer. We’ve been waiting patiently all this time. We understand marriage is a big commitment. You do not need to pull these theatrics to get us to understand that you aren’t ready to marry Ginny.”

 

“I will never marry Ginny. I do not love her.”

 

“Gee thanks.” She says cheekily.

 

“You know what I mean, Gin.  I am not interested in Ginny that way.  I am interested in Severus that way.”

 

“Harry, no you aren’t. Severus is… well… he’s…. Harry, you want Ginny.”

 

“Mom, seriously just. Stop.”  This time it’s Ron.  He looks uncomfortable, and Hermione now realizes that he’s known for a while. She is asking him questions, but I don’t care about that now.

 

“You do not want him and you are not gay.”  It’s a statement and some of my anger issues try to rise up.

 

“Oh, I absolutely want him. I’ve been wanting him for half my life. Been obsessed even longer. Everything he does turns me on and most of the dinner I’ve had to fight to keep from pulling him away with the intention of buggering him senseless. He’s fucking gorgeous.  As for being gay. Well I’ve wanked my fair share of times and trust me when I say I prefer pricks over puss.”

 

George is still laughing, tears dotting his eyes as he struggles to breathe. I’m starting to get concerned, but Ginny is trying to get him to calm down enough to breathe. 

 

“But..”

 

“I’m gay. Ginny figured it out before I did. She’s always been smart like that. She’s a wonderful person, but it wouldn’t work between us. It never would have worked.  I’m not a child and none of you are actually my family. I don’t require your acceptance. I would like it, but let it be clear I have no qualms cutting each and every one of you out of my life. I will not justify my sexual orientation or my choice in partner further.  I’m sure reporters will try to question each of you when it comes out that Severus and I are entering a marriage contract. I wanted this group to know before anyone else. Do with that knowledge that you will.”

 

Finally George has caught his breath and he looks at me with a wide smile. 

 

“I owe Fred so much money. He bet me three galleons back in second year that you were gay. And then. Sixth year. Another three that Professor Snape was gay. That bastard called it.”  He’s laughing again. “Congrats mate.  It would take each of you to tame the other. Didn’t ask for it I know, but you have my blessing.”

 

“George.  We do not condone this.”

 

“Oh shove it mom,  Fred was gayer than a picnic basket. He never told you because you are so against it. All those friends he had.  When he said they were going to play quittage and came back all tussled, he was a man whore ma.  Maybe you should have tried to play matchmaker between Harry and a different of your kids”  He laughs again. “Congrats to you to Snape, Fred always said you’d be nicer if you got a good fuck. Looks like he was right about that too.”  His smile is wide. “I’m real happy for both of you.  Besides Never did like the idea of you fooling around with my baby sis.”

 

“It makes so much sense now that I think about it. Harry, you were obsessed with the half blood prince. And with Professor Snape.”

 

“Just Severus.  Please.” Severus says quietly at my side. It’s the first he’s spoken in a while. 

 

“Right. Severus. I’m surprised you would want to be with Harry.  I mean the age difference is one thing, but you never shied away from expressing how much you disliked him.”

 

“I regret my actions. I was going through a lot of turmoil most days and took out my frustrations on Harry. We both had similar upbringings, and as a student I know both of you are familiar with the reputation I had. I was scared and lonely and lashed out at anyone that showed me kindness. I didn’t understand how he could approach others positively when I couldn’t fathom that. It’s something I am still… struggling with. That being said, I am striving to improve.”

 

“That’s all well and good.”  Mrs. Weasley cuts him off. “But I believe Hermione is getting at why are you with Harry. We all know he’s a good boy. I don’t get it, but I’m not surprised that he’s taken pity on you and is willing to be saddled with you.  What’s your reason? Is it his money?  His good name.  Do you think it will keep others from hating you like before?”

 

“I will not stand for…”

 

“Harry. It’s fine.”  His hand wraps lightly around my arm. “I don’t care what others think of me. I never have. I do worry that others will change their opinions of Harry due to my presence, but I’m not going to sacrifice his or my happiness over something so meaningless. I was content absorbing his kindness. I had an inkling that he was interested in me, and I pursued that. Asking me why I would love him though..” he laughs likely. “He’s so impossibly good. Kind. Steady. It puts my mind at ease. He’s beautiful. Driven and passionate. I don’t imagine anyone could keep from falling for him.”  His ears are slightly pink.  “He makes me feel alive. Makes me want to be better.”

 

“Fuck, I want to kiss you.”  The words slip out before I think to stop them. He’s redder than before. I take his hand and intertwine our fingers together. 

 

“I believe you are both very cute together. I’m so happy for both of you.” 

 

“I strongly disagree.” 

 

“Then you may leave.”  Nil comes and with a snap Mrs.Weasley disappears. Likely just outside the house. 

 

“Anyone else that I should be sending away?” He asks calmly. 

 

“I’ll go talk with her.” Mr. Weasley says calmly. “I apologize Harry. I’m very happy to hear that you have found happiness.  He leaves with a simple nod towards Severus.

 

“Anyone else?” I ask. “I would like to enjoy this fine dinner with people who want to celebrate my relationship with Severus. 

 

“I don’t understand Harry, but if he’s who you love then I want to accept that. I just want you to be happy mate.”  Ron says awkwardly. 

 

“I just want us three to get on like before.” Hermione continues. 

 

“Aside from owning money, I’m fine with it. I think you two are well suited.”  The rest of the dinner goes well enough. Severus mostly keeps to himself, but Luna does pull him into conversation. All in all the night didn’t go as bad as it could have- but it also could have gone better. 

 

By the time everyone has left and it’s just Severus and I, he’s exhausted and leaning heavily on me. 

 

“Do you want me to bring us home?” I ask. His home is a safe place, and no one aside from the two of us know about it. 

 

“Please.”  He trusts me to get us safely home and even trusts me to lift him and carry him to bed. Only once I lay him down and begin undressing him for bed does he speak. “I’m sorry if I was off tonight. It’s still difficult for me to be vocal around so many people.”  

 

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m very proud of you. I love you.”

 

“Harry, could I have a bit of a cuddle.”  He’s blunt and vocal and selfish with his wants and needs. I love it. 

 

“Absolutely. Let me finish dressing you.”

 

“No. Just. Lay with me.”  He’s down to just his underwear and I undress to the same level. He slots next to me while I pull a cover over both of us. “I am sorry that Molly did not approve of our relationship. I know you viewed her as something of a mother.”

 

“I expected to have some backlash. You do not need to hold on to that. Severus.”  My voice is so low it could hardly be mine.  

 

“Hm?” He asks with eyes closed. 

 

“Would my parents have accepted me?”  It’s hard to ask, and I worry about the answer. 

 

“Without question. Lily knew of my inclination towards men, and she never held bigotry. Your father would have also been accepting. Black was bisexual, and though he leaned towards women, he fell for more than a few men. Your father would have issues with me being your partner, but not with your sexual orientation.  They both would have loved you the same.”

 

“Thank you. I know it’s ridiculous, but I needed to hear that.”

 

“Not at all ridiculous Harry. It’s normal to wish to be accepted.”  

 

He’s falling asleep and his head is heavy against my arm. It’s calming though, to have him so close. I am glad to hear that my parents would have accepted me, but even if they wouldn’t have…

 

I would still choose Severus.