Chapter Text
Running through the shadows of the city was something Izuku loved the most. Dusk washed over the city and the noise of traffic lowered to a pleasant hum. Rays of the sun were golden and fleeting but the air would remain sticky and humid in the summer’s heat. He paused turning, he could see UA shining and bright still on the top of its hill. His mother and every childish dream were held within its walls and somehow Izuku still had the strength to walk away. He knew it would be now or never, lives like that weren’t made for people like him. Whether he had left today, tomorrow or a year from now he’d always leave alone. As long as he was alive he had to keep a comfortable distance of loneliness. He knew what happened if he didn’t, he’d seen it time and time again. Trusting someone enough to let them in was a death wish. Tomura and Toga only knew his secrets because they had been there right beside him and they had all shaped them in different ways. It also made Izuku realise that no one else would understand him. Inside UA he was playing a part and he didn’t have the energy to keep it up for long.
But it didn’t matter now, he’d been desperate to find a way out of UA’s tight security that he’d done something he wouldn’t be able to explain. Stealing a teacher’s keycard was easier when you lived around them. He had taken Midnights because it was the first one he had found when searching the coat rack by the dorm’s doors. Every hour he held onto it his anxiety spiked but the hero hadn’t seemed to notice and finally, he had slipped through the gate. UA was still busy even without most of its students. Some did linger even in the holidays, Izuku didn’t pry as to why and even spoke to a few. They were easier to deal with than the heroes or his mother and they didn’t shy away from his face. It was refreshing, it also added to his guilt. A trick he had learned over the past few years was existing in plain sight. Confidence can carry you a long way and Izuku learned you can walk right past heroes without a second glance if you looked like you knew what you were doing. The people who get caught are the ones who look guilty.
Part of him wished that Tomura would have called for him before the entrance exam, now too many people knew that he was attempting to get into UA and his name had reentered a few headlines. He was a fixture of mystery for the public interest and UA’s involvement only turned more heads. He knew if he disappeared now right beneath them it was going to do terrible things for their reputation. The only real thing he worried about was his mother. Guilt wasn’t new to Izuku but it had never been this constant, he realised that it was getting worse the more exposure he had around his mother. Pushing her away only made it worse but it was a necessary evil for them both. He knew she would never forgive him for vanishing on her without warning, without even a goodbye, and Izuku hated it.
He turned a corner hood up but head high. The glow of streetlights created shadows he could easily slip into. But Tomura had asked him to meet on the Westside for a reason. It mostly consisted of the elderly, with a large network of suburban homes with meticulously kept front lawns and a drab atmosphere. It also meant that few wandered the streets at night. The only thing to watch was the windows. Izuku found the older you get the nosier you become. Tomura and he had set up a few locations for the League to memorise. In the Westside this was one of them, an unassuming back alley with garden fences on both sides. They didn’t come here often, there was never much reason to stray out of the League's main territory, and Izuku was still amazed by the cleanliness in areas like this. A distinct lack of graffiti or litter for an alleyway. Even though he had made it there ten minutes early Tomura was waiting for him. He was accompanied by a boy who looked no older than Izuku. He had short brown hair that was shaved on the sides and grey eyes. He looked completely generic which would be reassuring if Izuku had met him before. Luckily the man spoke before he could.
“Izuku-Kun!” His voice was too high pitched to be his own.
“Toga,” Izuku responded flatly. He should have guessed it was her sooner.
He turned to Tomura who was wearing a black hoodie that shadowed most of his face. He wasn’t wearing his signature hand so Izuku could see his face. Izuku winced at his scabbed and dry skin. Tomura had the anxious habit of scratching at his face and neck. Usually, Izuku was the one to scold him for it. He saw a smile on Himiko’s face (well the face she had stolen) and wanted to rip it off. He had just walked away from an impossible dream and her playful nature would only grate on him.
“We don’t have long,” Tomura started in lieu of hello, whatever said here would get back the rest of them with Himikio’s gossip mouth. So anything they wanted to say would have to wait. “Sensei sent some things for you so we can contact you easier-”
“I’m not leaving?” Izuku had assumed he would be leaving. They couldn’t possibly think he could leave UA’s walls without warning and walk right back in. He had to leave now or he wouldn’t be able to later. He couldn’t admit his weak resolve when it came to his mother, but he hoped Tomura would realise his desperation.
“Your new position is invaluable. Sensei had been informed you got your place within 1-A and you would have direct contact with All Might.” Tomura was repeating words he didn’t believe in. Izuku could tell his disapproval for the plan immediately.
“Come on Izuku-kun! You have a hard-on for heroes, this is a fantasy come true,” Izuku wrinkled his nose in disgust at her language but it made sense.
Izuku was more obsessed with the workings of quirks rather than heroes and UA was somewhere he could research quirks he’s only seen on TV. All Might's quirk was the grand prize, and it was something that would certainly secure his place by Sensei’s and Tomura’s side. He realised what Toga was doing by trying to play to his interests. But his mother wasn’t his only reason for leaving. Tomura stood uncomfortably watching him, if Izuku said he was going with them Tomura wouldn’t stop him. He noticed that he was holding a large envelope, no doubt it would be from Sensei. He didn’t have any reasons besides his own feelings for leaving UA, and that wouldn’t make a good explanation if he ignored Sensei’s orders.
Whatever hope or resolve had carried him here was crumbling.
“I can’t get back into the school unnoticed; I had to steal from them to even get out.” Toga laughed at his admission coming round to cling to him. In this new form, she was taller than him which made her even more annoying as she fiddled with his hair.
“Awe Izu-kun just admit you missed me! I missed you. The scenery has been dire since you left.” She tried to kiss the side of his face but he leaned away. She took his refusal easily and moved to lean on him instead.
“We should go, right Shigaraki?” In a males body, the pouting wasn’t as effective. But Tomura was looking at the envelope in his hands.
“Sensei wants him to stay,” his voice barely carried above a whisper but it was enough for Izuku’s stomach to drop. What Sensei wanted they did, there wasn’t room for arguments or needs.
“How the fuck am I meant to explain stealing from a hero?” He was desperate and pulling at straws for reasons to stay with them.
“Figure it out.” Tomura wouldn’t look at him but held out the envelope, it was heavier than Izuku expected and when he looked in he saw a small flip phone in the bottom as well as a sheet of paper.
Neither had agreed with the plan to frame Overhaul, which had spiralled and led Izuku to UA. He had gotten ahead of himself wanting to impress at the exam and now had given Sensei a reason to make him stay. Walking away a second time was going to be twice as hard. They stood there for a moment, mostly in silence except for Himiko who was humming a song as she held onto Izuku’s hand when Tomura’s phone began to ring.
---
Izuku sometimes left the apartment but he always told Inko first. Whether he was going for a walk or to the gym it wasn’t trivial to let her know. She searched the apartment for a note about his disappearance. Alarm was creeping up to consume her as she scanned the kitchen for a second time. Flustered easily she grabbed her coat, UA would be a large campus to search for herself, but there were places Izuku had already claimed. First she looked through the teacher’s dorm, checking the communal living areas but there was no sign of him. She looked outside and noticed the pale oranges in the sky signifying the late hour. It was a few minutes to the on-site gym but it was noticeably empty. Inko walked as quickly as she could checking the paths she knew Izuku liked to walk but UA was eerily quiet as night began to fall. Inko willed herself to remain calm as she power-walked back to the dorm. She didn’t know if she was angry more at Izuku for not leaving a note or at herself for being so careless.
As she sped back towards the dorms where she was currently living she caught a glimpse of signature blonde hair. Yagi. He had spotted her as she walked to meet him, he smiled and waved but as she approached she began to cry. Inko knew she was overreacting, there was no way Izuku had left the campus but she was sick with dread nonetheless.
“What's wrong?” His voice was surprisingly calm but laced with concern.
“It’s Izuku I-I can’t find him, I can’t find him.” As she said the words aloud the panic finally grasped her. She would be embarrassed later when she had found her boy. The logical part of her knew he was somewhere within UA’s walls but the mother whose son had once died had taken control.
“Hey, it’s alright we’ll find him.” He gave her a soft smile while holding her hands. HE led them both inside. A few of UA’s teachers/heroes were milling in the communal area, perked up at Inko’s sudden arrival. Immediately people were talking into phones and INko heard snippets of conversations with the campus security and other heroes. Yagi had his phone pressed against his ear and was holding it with his shoulder as he passed Inko a cup of tea. He sat beside her as he spoke, trying to reassure with small smiles and optimism.
An hour passed and Inko had on more than one occasion researched their shared apartment. She trusted UA’s staff to find him quicker than she could but her anxiety had only loosened slightly. It was when she saw the principal approaching the teachers dorm that she realised something was wrong. Midnight and Yagi was walking just behind him with grim expressions.
Anger roared within Inko, she had been told that there was nowhere safer for them than UA.
She sat down across from the heroes in the communal living room.
“Before we have this conversation I have to ask for you to remain calm,” the principal gave a terrible start to the conversation how could the expect her to stay calm, “we just finished checking security footage and we shocked to find that Izuku left UA on his own accord just over an hour ago.”
Inko was shocked, why would he leave for starters but the people in front of her couldn’t answer that question so she asked a different one.
“How?” Her tone was less than civil.
“It seems he stole Midnight’s keycard,” the hero looked guilty for her carelessness but Inko couldn’t be mad at her. She shouldn’t have to be cautious within her own home. Inko’s anger softened a little. She looked out of the window to her left, she could see part of UA’s walls through a cluster of trees.
“He’s still out there.”
“We’ve already sent out a search team, the police are going through CCTV as we speak,” Yagi spoke now, his voice was soft and it was enough for Inko to break. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she slumped nearly dropping the cold cup of tea in her hands.
“Please find my son,” she couldn't believe she had to say that again, and so soon after getting him back.
---
Tomura put the phone to his ear and listened as Kurogiri spoke. UA knew Izuku was missing and they were following his trail right to them. He told Kurogiri to open a portal in two minutes and motioned for Toga to let go of Izuku. He explained briefly that they were coming to get him and Izuku’s face went white. At least now he wouldn’t have to find a way in, he thought bitterly.
He didn’t have time to say much of anything to Izuku so he settled for a nod. Izuku stared back in disbelief before he backed out of the alleyway. Tomura had no idea how he was going to explain any of this, he had never been the best at coming up with lies quickly. Despite Toga’s curving smile, he knew out of all of them she would hold the same concern. They weren’t as close as he and Izuku were but they had grown up together all the same. Sensei had ‘adopted’ her but they didn’t hold the same closeness. Toga had placed a distance between all of them with her wild nature and lack of maturity. She was immensely valuable but a wild card if you wanted her to do something it had to hold her interest or you would have to trade something of equal worth. The annoying thing was Izuku never had to trade, she’d do anything for him. Part of Tomura realised she did this to rile him up but that it was also just a part of who she was.
The trio was now a duo as the portal opened behind him. He hesitated at the frantic look on Izuku’s face and he realised Izuku was about to follow them. Disobeying Sensei would be worse than returning to UA. He rushed backwards shaking his head as Izuku began to walk back towards them.
“Don’t.” He sounded choked and desperate, but they both knew what he would do if Izuku walked through that portal. His head was spinning that Izuku was desperate enough to disobey and he wondered what it would be like if he could go back to his family. He tried not to think about them, how they died, but it surely had to be good? Unless it was too good. Jealousy stirred but Tomura didn’t give it time to settle. At least now he had a way of contacting Izuku, he would have to take respite in that. He turned away with Toga at his heels and left his brother behind.
---
What the fuck am I supposed to do was the only question on Izuku’s mind. He had no idea how Sensei knew to warn them about UA trying to find him but it made him uncomfortable. He had assumed Sensei had no ties within the school walls but he began to doubt that. He began walking, sticking to quiet streets and looping round to UA’s east side. He wanted to get back to the school without running into anyone, giving him time to think. He heard sirens behind him and felt like a rabbit on a greyhound track, he couldn’t outrun them but he was going to try. He should have known better than to assume he wouldn’t be returning to UA. He shouldn’t have left at all. Having the phone and brief letter from Sensei wasn’t enough of a comfort to make this worth it.
He hid amongst trees and bushes that surrounded UA but kept a path in sight. Every time he came up with a possible explanation for leaving it fell apart in his head. Nothing could justify what he had just put his mother through. When he caught sight of UA’s walls he thought his heart was going to break his ribs. He hoped him returning of his own accord would ease the questions. He checked he still had Midnight's keycard so he could return it. A few members of staff and two policemen were standing at the gate when he approached. The school had come to life with lights and people coming in and out. He was equal parts amazed UA would go to such lengths for him and horrified. One of the policemen spotted him first and shouted his name.
He schooled himself, whatever he was feeling wasn’t going to help him. He tried to remain neutral as they escorted him into the building a policewoman was holding onto his arm as if he would vanish right beside him. She talked quickly into a walkie-talkie. He had no plausible explanation for this. He realised they were heading towards the teacher’s dorms where he had been living the past few weeks. His mother was stood right outside its doors he could see her silhouette as yellow light fell out the building. The moon was still hung low in the sky but the darkness was more of a comfort that he couldn’t see her face yet. He could see Principal Nezu by her side and their neighbour Yagi. His mother had spoken about him but Izuku had never met the man formally.
When they finally got close enough to see his mother's face despite the darkness he saw the red blotches on her skin and her red-rimmed eyes. What he noticed most was the way her brows furrowed. Izuku couldn’t remember seeing her angry and it dislodged something in him. Emotions threatened to boil over and he had to look away from her to control himself. They said nothing but they all went inside. The police stopped by the doors and Izuku suddenly realised how exposed he was here. Outnumbered and surrounded with nothing to give them. When they rounded the corner to the living area Izuku froze. The policemen he had met in the hospital were there. Along with Aizawa and Midnight. It was seven versus one.
He stood in the doorway as Mr Yagi, the principal and his mother took their seats but he couldn't make himself move. He wondered if he would be able to make it past the police guarding the door when the principal gestured for him to take the armchair. He stared at it as if it might explode.
“You can stand but we still have to talk.” Nezu laughed softly as he spoke, clearly trying to ease the tension. Izuku took a few steps into the room but stood with enough distance from everyone. He clawed at his brain for something, anything, that would make sense.
“I have nothing to say.” He kept his tone flat and expression neutral.
“Oh really?” His mother started looking incredulous. He felt his expression twist at her tone but remained silent.
“We’re just trying to understand,” Aizawa spoke now, Izuku felt strong enough to make eye contact with the teacher. In fact, the only one in the room Izuku could fathom talking to right now would be Aizawa. So he kept his eyes aimed at him focusing on his shoes but it was easier than looking at his mother. He had just hurt her - willingly - and couldn’t even justify it, not in a way any of them would understand. When Izuku said nothing Aizawa continued: “why would you leave the campus? It must have been important?”
The questions were open-ended allowing Izuku to fill in as much as he wanted. But the truth could get him killed and Izuku had no logical lie. He needed a half-truth, maybe a twisted version. No names that meant anything. What he was going to do was a risk, he was going to push the faith they had in him even further and pull their doubts to the surface. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince one of them and the rest would fall in behind. He did his best to keep eye contact with Aizawa as he spoke, to persuade and hopefully gain his favour, but it was hard. He never understood why people seek out eye contact, it was weird and uncomfortable.
"I got… word from someone, someone from before,” he was trying to think as he spoke, thinking on what and who he knew Overhaul had within his grasps. “A girl, she's young, named Eri, someone who knew her wanted to talk.”
Izuku had met the girl once and it hadn’t been in the best of circumstances. He was only half-conscious half-bleeding to death. Overhaul could provide a unique service to Sensei in terms of quirk removal. If Sensei needed a quirk removed he gave it to someone and immediately had them killed so he knew it couldn't be used. But bodies, especially with civilians, can only be used so many times without raising suspicion. Part of Overhaul's payment had been Izuku’s quirk; he would take him apart in search of DNA and skin cells that could Nullify. The reason he had met Eri was because Overhaul had gotten ahead of himself. He had taken too much (greedy bastard) and had called a frightened child to clean up the mess.
Everyone was watching him so closely he felt like a bug under a microscope but Izuku wasn’t going to give them more than anything than absolutely necessary. It could also work in his favour if the goal was to get Overhaul caught by heroes he might as well help. Then he could go back without argument.
“Yell at me if you want, call me stupid, but you don’t know them like I do.”
His mother looked closer to tears as the anger seeped out of her. Izuku pushed the guilt down in him and replaced it with hope. Eri was like him, like Sensei’s other experiments too, helping her might be the one heroic thing he would do. Most people looked uncomfortable, Izuku could see the rigid tension in Midnight's shoulders, she looked angry but thankfully Izuku didn’t think it was directed at him. Except Aizawa and the principal looked unphased as they shared a look. Izuku wondered how much they had already unearthed on Overhaul. He turned away and out of the window. He couldn’t see the moon from this angle but the inky darkness outside meant they weren’t getting any closer to dawn. Izuku was used to tiredness but the few weeks of a comfortable bed and lack of responsibility had eased the bags under his eyes. Thoughts still plagued him most nights but his mother would let him sleep late into the day.
The principal clapped his paws together calling everyone back to attention.
“This seems to be a more serious conversation than I thought and I think it can wait till the morning.” Both Midoriyas gaped at him as if Izuku had not just stolen from them and ran away without warning. Part of him wanted to argue his innocence still but the tired part of him was happy to oblige - plus any extra time to come up with a story was a win. No one was willing to contest with Nezus judgment and in a flash, people were walking to bed. Izuku was really beginning to question the creatures' supposed superior intelligence. He wasn’t ready to face his mother alone yet so he grabbed a small mug and made some coffee. Sitting by the window watching the red and blue lights fade. UA descended back to silence.
He didn’t need to turn to know his mother was still there, he hadn’t heard her move from her seat even after Izuku made himself comfortable.
“I assumed the worst,” she sounded defeated, “and then I saw footage of you walking out the gates, I couldn’t come up with any reason you would want to leave. I thought I’d failed you. Maybe I already have but I deserve something Izuku. I need a reason.”
“Tomorrow,” he promised even if he wasn’t going, to tell the truth, he would come up with a spectacular lie. A heroic act of trying to save a girl (and hopefully actually save her in the process). Give UA and his mother a good son to support. Rebuilding trust was going to take time, and he wasn’t keen on giving up so much. One day he would leave and it was going to hurt more each time. His guilt came back now, rearing its head within him - threatening to swallow him whole. He closed his eyes and sipped his too-hot coffee, when he opened them he focused on the outline of the trees. Then panelling around the window, the simple lock the secured it in place.
He knew he was making a mistake but he stood and moved to sit beside his mother. She had barely touched him outside the hospital when they first reunited. Despite his reassurances, it wasn’t her fault he flinched once when she tried to hug him. After that she had become skittish, always putting a comfortable distance between them and never moving too fast. Izuku was equally grateful and annoyed at the kind treatment. He - awkwardly - put his arms around her. Pulling her into a hug with his too-long teen limbs. She sniffled quietly for a moment before returning it. Despite himself, tears formed. He blinked them away quickly and pulled back, his mother was more open about her upset but she smiled weakly.
“I swear child one of these days you're gonna be the death of me,” she laughed.