Archive of Our Own ^beta

If there was one thing that everyone attending their high school knew, it was that you didn’t get in Bang Chan's way. 

It was for your own good, really. 

Chan ignored people who didn’t give him a reason to be noticed but, if you had anything to say against him or his behaviour, then he was sure to make your life a living hell. 

If on one side there was Bang Chan, the boy teachers couldn’t wait to see graduating, to finally disappear from their lives, on the other side there was Lee Felix. Felix was the quiet, model student, with his uniform always in perfect shape, never late for class and always handing homework on time. 

Felix had a strong personality but didn’t like to be the centre of attention for any reason. Because of that, he usually worked silently, doing his job perfectly but never bragging about it. He wasn't the teachers’ pet but he still was easily one of the best in the classes he attended. 

The classes Felix aced, Chan failed and, for that reason, he had to retake them the next semester, joining the younger students. Felix and Chan had crossed paths a few times and Chan could easily admit that he hadn’t exactly been the nicest to Felix. The younger was exactly what Chan despised about high school, but still, Felix never showed any sign of being bothered by Chan’s comments. 

Instead of pissing him off, by getting ignored, Chan’s interest only peeked. People usually had two reactions to his comments, they either tried to talk back and, inevitably, failed or they ran away, hurt and upset. It was just how things were and Chan loved betting on who would have which reaction. 

But Felix had never fallen in either of those two categories. Instead, every time Chan had made him the victim of his comments, he had always stared right in his eyes before walking away, ignoring him completely as if the words had not even reached him. 

Felix intrigued Chan and, the more the younger took him by surprise, the more Chan wanted to know about him. Unsurprisingly, Felix had never wanted anything to do with Chan, not stopping even a second to share a word with him. 

Chan could safely say he had not planned it when the opportunity to corner Felix was offered to him but he would have been crazy not to accept it. 

Chan was Australian, English was his mother tongue but that didn't mean anything when it came to school. Yes, he knew the language but he still insisted on not studying for tests or doing his essays on time, which was the reason why he was about to fail his class again. 

Luckily, his teacher had decided to give him a second chance before officially failing him. 

“Mr Bang, I called you here to discuss your grades,” the teacher greeted him as soon as he entered the empty classroom. Chan nodded, bored. 

“You’re aware that with the results you have now, there’s no chance for you to pass this class, right?” Mrs Yoon clarified, trying to knock some sense into her disobedient student. Faced with the truth, Chan didn’t seem surprised about the news and simply nodded again, unfazed. 

“Seeing the situation, I decided to give you one last opportunity,” the teacher announced, “I will assign you a tutor and I’ll plan for you a test at the end of the semester. If you manage to pass that, I will not fail you.” 

That finally caught Chan’s attention. 

None of his previous teachers had ever gone out of their way to help him, always classifying him as the trouble maker who didn’t care about school in the first place. In all honesty, their assumption wasn’t completely wrong, but it was still nice to know that there was someone who had not totally given up on him. 

“Why would you help me?” Chan needed to know, still sceptical. 

“Because I can’t honestly wrap my head around the fact that you’re a native speaker and you’re failing English of all subjects,” she said, sounding exasperated, “your grades in other classes have improved this semester. I think that, with a light push, you can pass this class too.” 

The point was, it was wrong to believe that Chan didn’t care about his grades at all, he just had his own philosophy about it. If he had time to study then he didn’t mind doing that, but, if he had to sacrifice his own well being just to pass a test, then he prefered a low mark. He simply couldn’t understand people missing on sleep, meals and time for themselves just because of school. 

“Who will my tutor be?” Chan questioned, figuring it was better to just accept it instead of pissing off the only teacher who still seemed to like him. 

“I thought you could choose them yourself, I don’t think assigning you to someone you can’t stand will do any good,” she suggested, giving him a moment to ponder. 

Chan properly considered his teacher's offer this time. 

Someone he could stand in his class? Well, there were Minho and Changbin, the only friends he had there, but he was pretty sure that they were useless when it came to tutoring him. 

A light bulb lit up in his mind but Mrs Yoon beat him to the punch. 

“I personally think Lee Felix would be a good candidate. He's a great student and, unlike half of this class, it seems like he’s not afraid of you,” she said the last part with a scolding tone. 

Chan was too deep in his thoughts to notice. 

“I agree, Felix is a great choice,” he accepted easily, not caring if he had just cut her off. 

“Then it’s settled, I will inform him,” Mrs Yoon nodded, walking to her desk, “but I warn you, if he declines the offer I will assign you to someone myself. So, no scenes, okay?” 

Chan knew Felix could easily decline, but he had the feeling that the younger wasn’t going to risk disappointing the teacher by turning down the offer. Chan smirked at the thought, wondering what Felix’s reaction was going to be. 

After months of trying, Chan had finally found the way to corner him. 

And this time, Felix couldn’t ignore him. 

...

Apparently, Felix had accepted the teacher’s offer but he wasn’t thrilled about it. Not that Chan had ever thought otherwise. 

When the next day Felix arrived in class, he was visibly surprised to see Chan already there, sitting at his desk and looking at him with a shit-eating grin painted on his face. Knowing there was nothing much he could do, Felix showed him no sign of reaction besides the death glare he sent him, before sitting at his place and staring right ahead. 

Chan had the feeling he was going to have a lot of fun with this. 

The lesson went by pretty quickly, nothing interesting happening but, as soon as it was over, Chan was quick to jump on his feet and stand in front of Felix’s desk. The younger didn’t raise his head but, by the way he sighed, Chan was pretty sure he noticed he was there. 

“Hello there, tutor,” Chan said, the grin never leaving his lips. His voices sounded mocking even to his own ears but Felix, true to himself, didn’t seem to mind. In fact, the younger simply got up from his chair and started to put his books away in his backpack. 

“Meet me at four in the library,” was all Felix said, not sparing Chan another glance. 

“Not even inviting me over?” Chan asked, his voice mischievous. That was the longest Felix had ever talked to him which said a lot considering that he had said no more than ten words. 

At that, Felix met his eyes. “I want you as far as possible from my house, thank you very much,” he affirmed with the most monotonous, expressionless tone he could muster. 

Chan's grin only grew but, this time, there was something similar to genuine amusement in his eyes. Not only was Felix not scared of him, but he could also talk back. 

Chan became more and more fascinated. 

“If you’re late, I’ll tell Mrs Yoon you changed your mind,” was the last thing Felix said, before leaving Chan alone in an empty classroom, smiling at himself like a fool. 

... 

Knowing Felix was really serious about it, CHan decided to be on time that afternoon and, two minutes before the clock struck four, he was already in the library, surprised at not finding Felix there already. 

Five minutes later, the door of the library opened and the younger made his way in, soon spotting Chan at one of the big tables. 

“Look who’s late,” Chan greeted him, the same old, ever-present smirk on his lips. 

Felix didn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing his apology, “some of us had to cancel plans to be here. Now, because of you, I have to spend my entire afternoon locked up in here.” 

That was arguably the longest sentence Felix had ever said to Chan and the older couldn’t help but notice how nice his voice sounded. 

“Be careful, Lix. You might hurt my feelings,” Chan teased, clutching at his heart with a fake-hurt expression on his face. 

“Bang Chan has a heart? I should write that in my notes so I don’t forget,” Felix shot back without missing a beat, deciding not to comment on the nickname. 

Listening to the younger’s words, Chan found it funny how Felix didn’t even need to think about it for a second before finding something sarcastic to reply with, never letting him have the final word. 

Felix always spoke to him in that same monotonous, cold tone and Chan was pretty sure he would have never given him the satisfaction of showing him any other emotion besides indifference. 

For the second time that day, Chan couldn't help being entertained by it. 

“How can I enjoy studying with my tutor if he’s so mean to me?” Chan asked, faking the most serious expression he could. He wanted to find Felix's breaking point, whatever could finally make him understand in which of the two categories Felix inevitably ended up. 

“You could have asked one of the dozens of girls who swoon over you to be your tutor,” Felix replied, his eyes cast on the books and papers in front of him, not even making eye contact while they talked. 

Chan’s first attempt clearly failed but Felix’s answer gave him the chance to annoy him a bit more. Apparently, though, playing with Felix was harder than what he had thought. 

“Is that jealousy I hear?” Chan pointed out. Chan had leaned towards Felix, his chin on his hand as his voice dropped to a flirty tone, something that usually made people incredibly flustered. 

“It is,” Felix boldly replied, leaning just as close as his low voice mesmerized Chan more than it was probably supposed to. “I’m jealous of those girls minding their own damn business at home, while I'm here dealing with your sorry ass,” he added and, as he pulled back, his expression turned back to that mask of coldness Chan was familiar with. 

Chan leaned back on his chair, studying Felix quietly. 

This boy who looked like he would never hurt a fly, who had the best marks in the whole school and had never broken a single rule, was also the only one who didn’t run away from Chan every time they crossed paths like everyone else did. Felix not only did that, but he also teased back, talked back and didn’t let Chan act like the asshole he usually was with others. 

“What?” Felix growled when Chan's stare and the silence became too much to handle. 

“You’re interesting, Lee Felix,” Chan confessed. 

This time, his words didn’t carry any teasing or mocking. When Felix recognised the seriousness in his voice, he was caught off guard and his expression showed surprise for a second before it turned blank again. 

“How so?” he still asked, figuring that the sooner they ended this conversation, the sooner they could start studying and go their separate ways. Besides that, he couldn’t help being curious about what Chan meant with his words. 

“Half of the students in this school are scared of me, and the other half hates me. You don’t fall in any of those two categories, which is weird,” Chan explained, his stare still locked on Felix as if he had all the answers written on his skin. “Besides, the other nerds in this school are the most annoying people I've ever met.” 

Taken by surprise, Felix actually chuckled at that, “I don’t need to kiss the floor our teachers walk on to get straight As.” Felix sounded confident and proud, something Chan had never felt about school. “People are scared of you because you’re an asshole and they hate you because you’re an asshole. I simply don’t care what you are as long as you don’t make my life harder,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders. 

If that was supposed to make Chan shut up, it wasn’t successful. On the contrary, it only made him realise something more. 

“Why do I feel like you’re not really the shy, perfect, role model you pretend to be in school?” Chan dared, raising a brow. The more he found out about Felix the more he wanted to know. 

“Because I’m not,” Felix confirmed without hesitation. He was the one to lean in this time, taking Chan by surprise as the distance between them decreased, “but do tell, Bang Chan. Who do people notice most, the trouble maker who never does what he should or the quiet, diligent boy?” 

Chan was at loss for a second. 

With Felix so close, Chan couldn’t help noticing Felix had a certain aura about himself, something Chan wasn’t used to. It was Chan the one who intimidated people with his look and attitude, not the other way around and the fact that he suddenly felt small in front of the boy made him feel vulnerable. 

“And what’s so bad about being noticed?” Chan asked back when he finally collected himself a bit. Still, the question came out quieter than he wanted it to, he just hoped Felix didn’t notice the effect he had on him. 

“The question is, why would I want people to notice me if the only thing I care about is surviving high school and get the hell out of here as soon as I can?” Felix answered with a question of his own, moving on the chair so that he was sitting normally again. 

It didn’t take much to notice how the words had amazed Chan, never believing Felix had so much about himself besides the nerdy boy he was in school. If Chan was intrigued by Felix before, when all he did was ignore him, he was certainly going to bring up the conversation again in the future, now that he finally had more to work with. 

“I wonder what else you have to hide, Lee Felix,” Chan said out loud, forgetting the fact that, even if there was more, Felix surely wasn’t eager to share it with him of all people. It was already surprising enough that Felix had even answered some of his questions instead of getting up and quitting. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Felix said, mockingly. “Now, take out your book and let’s start, we lost too much time already,” he ordered. 

After half an hour, even though Chan had taken out his books and followed Felix’s instructions, they didn’t gain many results. 

“You’re not focusing,” Felix snapped his fingers in front of Chan's eyes, “it’s embarrassing enough that you’re failing English of all subjects, can’t you at least try?” 

Chan admitted he wasn't exactly co-operating, mainly because his mind was still stuck on the conversation they just had. Besides that, there was something in the way Felix spoke English that made him lose concentration but he couldn't quite pinpoint why. For sure it distracted him enough to have the younger snap at him. 

“Look, I only agreed to this because Mrs Yoon seemed desperate. If you’re just going to stare at me for the whole afternoon and refuse to actually do your part, then I can just walk away and tell her to find you someone else, got it?” Felix warned him, his voice sounding annoyed and exhausted. 

As much as Chan didn’t like to give him credit for it, it was true that Felix was doing him a favour, not the other way around. The younger could have rejected the offer, instead, he was there doing the best he could to help him, so Chan figured he could at least try a bit harder. 

Still, he had one more card to play. 

“Let’s make a deal,” Chan clapped his hands, remembering they were in a library only when they got annoyed hushes directed at them. “Every time I answer something correctly, you tell me a fact about yourself,” he proudly explained his idea, his familiar smirk coming back in full force. 

“Why would that make any difference?” Felix asked, not understanding the point of it. 

“I told you, you’re interesting. You clearly wouldn’t share anything about yourself with me in other circumstances so at least let me have this,” Chan answered as if it was the dumbest thing ever and Felix should have understood it straight away. 

As much as Felix wasn’t so fond of the idea, he knew Chan would have never taken his job seriously if he refused. At least, in that way, they could perhaps see some improvement at the end of the day. 

With the prospect of finally getting what he wanted, Chan focused on Felix’s explanations about the literary period he had to catch up with and worked hard on the questions the younger boy asked him to revise. 

“What is the philosophy that Dickens wanted to criticize in his works?” Felix asked after he finished explaining another part of the program. 

“It’s utilitarianism, the philosophy according to which only what is useful is good,” Chan said without missing a beat, surprised to realise how easily he could remember things if he only listened. Or maybe Felix was a good tutor but he didn’t need to know about that. 

“That’s actually correct,” Felix nodded, a small grin pulling at the corner of his lips. He was never going to let Chan hear about that, but he found it endearing how he was willing to put effort into studying just to get a few facts about him. 

“You know what it means,” Chan happily sang, his dark image quickly breaking down. 

Felix thought about what to say for a few seconds before chuckling, “I don’t think you ever realised but I’m from Australia too.” 

Chan recognized he was not the smartest, but he had never felt this dumb before, nothing could beat that. A whole year of sharing Felix’s class, his English class, and he had never realised how familiar his intonation and pronunciation sounded. 

“That’s why you have an accent!” Chan exclaimed, upset at himself for not noticing before. “Why did I not know that?” 

Felix laughed at that. “You never cared enough to ask,” Felix replied, shrugging his shoulders. 

Chan couldn't say he was wrong. 

In the year he had been trying to get a reaction out of Felix, he never approached him with questions or small talk, it had always been with mean comments and pointless teasing. The fact that he had properly known this boy for a day and he was already rethinking his attitude, and regretting his past actions, made him worry. 

Did Felix have him already wrapped around his little finger? 

“Stop moping and focus,” Felix scolded him unforgivingly when he noticed how silent Chan had gotten. Without wasting a second he shot the next question, “which character can be defined as a Byronic hero?” 

For that question, Chan had to take some more time, worrying his mind over the correct answer, “Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë.” 

Felix nodded again, pleased that his job was showing some results, “nice, right again.” 

As Felix spoke, there was something in his mouth that caught the light, something that Chan had noticed before but couldn’t exactly understand if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him. 

Widening his eyes, Chan came to a realization, “wait, you have a piercing?” 

Felix seemed confused at first before understanding what Chan was talking about, “oh, yes, I do. I have one on my tongue.” 

Little by little, Felix was wrecking all the images of the perfect, nerdy boy Chan had always seen him as and the thought made Chan incredibly excited. 

What else was there to find out about Felix? 

With the confirmation came Chan's curiosity rising to an extremely high level. Besides the curiosity, though, Chan could feel his ears growing extremely hot, the consequence of associating something he had always been weak for, to Felix of all people. 

“You’re full of surprises,” Chan managed to let out, laughing when his voice came out huskier than intended. 

“Am I seeing right? Did I just make Bang Chan flustered?” Felix teased him, purposely sticking his tongue out so that, this time, Chan could perfectly see the little ball of metal heavily resting on the younger’s tongue. 

The fact that Felix was right and Chan was indeed flustered made the situation pretty comical to anyone watching their interaction. Bang Chan, the boy who talked to people only to tease them, was blushing because of Lee Felix, the reserved and boring boy no one ever paid attention to. 

“It’s still your turn to share a fact about you,” Chan reminded him, trying to take the attention away from the redness he was sure had not yet left his ears. 

“Me telling you I have a piercing is a fact about me,” Felix pointed out, clearly finding it funny to tease Chan for what he was trying to hide. 

“Come on, that was a question you willingly answered,” Chan whined, earning curious looks from the people sitting at the other tables, students who thought it was already weird to see Felix and Chan together in the first place. 

Felix smirked, knowing that, if the mere fact that he had a piercing made Chan so bashful, then his next fact could probably do even better. 

“I have a few tattoos as well,” he casually shared as if it didn’t just give Chan a heart attack. 

Chan stared at him, blinking quickly before the blush that was already on his ears made its way to his cheeks, exploding in a red tint. If there were two things Chan had always been extremely attracted to were piercings and tattoos and here Felix was, being the perfect example of everything that made him weak. 

“Can I see them?” Chan asked out of the blue, not even thinking about how weird it could sound. He seemed to forget that he and Felix were not friends. 

Luckily Felix didn’t seem weirded out enjoying the exchange all too much. He laughed at his question instead, “no, you definitely can’t.” 

Not that Chan expected anything different. 

... 

Chan could have never expected things to turn out like this. 

When he had been given the opportunity, Chan had only chosen the younger as his tutor to piss him off and finally get a reaction out of him but, instead, the only one who was left speechless and flustered every time they talked was Chan himself. Chan didn’t think that someone like Felix could have such an influence over him, but here he was, looking forward to every second they could spend together as if they were hanging out because they wanted to and not because their teacher forced them. 

Cliché as it was, it didn’t take long for Chan to realise that he wouldn’t be so curious to know more about someone if there wasn’t something more behind. With each fact Felix shared about himself, the warmth in Chan’s chest grew until he finally came to terms with having a full-blown crush on Felix, always wanting him close. 

That still didn’t change the fact that Felix had never shown any intention of wanting to be closer, in or outside of their lessons. Weirdly enough, instead of giving up, that only made Chan try even harder. Chan had half of the school pinning over him, he surely wasn’t going to give up so easily on the only person who seemed to stand up to him. He knew Felix had understood perfectly well what his intentions were but still, nothing seemed to win him over. 

“The library is closed on the weekends so we’ll continue on Monday,” Felix announced as their two-hour-long study session on Friday was over. It had been already a week since their lessons started and both could proudly see the results. 

Besides that, with the little game Chan had convinced Felix to play every time he got something right, Chan had found out that Felix was a dancer, his family still lived in Korea so he lived with his uncle and aunt and that he missed his two sisters incredibly much. 

“Or you could come over to mine tomorrow,” Chan suggested, grinning at the idea of meeting the younger outside of school. He knew Felix disliked the idea but, if he managed to convince him it was only because he really was putting effort into studying, he figured not even he could find something to say against it. 

Felix stared at him, his eyes turning into slits, clearly understanding where it was going. “Since you don't want me at yours,” Chan added, trying to sound casual about it while internally he was hoping Felix could just give up this once. 

“Fine,” Felix agreed with a sigh, not particularly liking the idea of spending their Saturday together as if they hadn’t seen each other enough for the past week. “Give me your phone so you can text me the address.” 

Chan tried not to let the relief show on his face, while his heart skipped a beat in his chest at the words. It made him almost mad how whipped for this guy he already was, considering there was a lot about him he still didn’t know. 

“Is that just an excuse to have my number?” Chan teased, finding it hard to keep the comments for himself. 

Of course, whatever the answer was, he gave Felix his phone anyway. 

Felix briefly raised his eyes from the screen. “You know I can just ditch you tomorrow and not come, right? We both know I’m not the one who would be upset because of it,” Felix deadpanned, an amused spark in his eyes. 

Chan hated the fact that Felix could see right through him so easily. 

But what he hated even more was that Felix was playing with him better than he ever had. 

... 

The next day, Felix was supposed to come over at five in the afternoon.

Chan had cleaned the whole house, making sure that nothing was out of place before realising how stupid he was being. He felt both nervous and excited at the same time and that made him even more annoyed at himself. 

They were just going to study, he knew that, but having Felix over felt like something so casual that he couldn’t help overthinking it. After all, there must have been a reason why Felix had yet to tell him to leave him alone, even when he pretended like being in Chan’s presence was something he hadn’t chosen. 

Perhaps he was a fool to think this, but a small part of Chan was still convinced that Felix enjoyed their time together as much as he did. 

Cursing the knot in his stomach that tightened as soon as the doorbell rang, Chan slowly made his way to the entrance. When the door was opened, he was greeted with the sight of Felix bundled up in several layers of fabric, and the blue scarf he always seemed to wear wrapped tight around his neck. 

Chan had to admit the weather had grown pretty cold and for someone used to Australia’s winters, Korea was sure a lot worse. Still, Felix looked both adorable and ridiculous like that and Chan, in all his fashion, couldn’t help teasing him for it. 

“Were you hanging out with Santa Claus in the North Pole or something?” Chan asked but still, he moved out of the way so that Felix could find shelter in the warmth of his house. 

“I would surely rather be there than here,” Felix answered, his voice muffled by the scarf. 

“And yet, here you are,” Chan pointed out, unable to ignore the fact that, no matter how much Felix complained, he had never, not even once, ditched their lessons together. That had to mean something, right? 

Waiting for Felix to take off his huge coat, scarf and shoes, Chan couldn’t help finding it unusual to see Felix wearing normal, everyday clothes and not the same old school uniform they all wore without fail. 

Felix looked even softer like that and, if Chan didn’t know better, he could have truly associated him with the nerdy boy he was in school. Then Felix spoke and that image came crashing down. 

“If you were just going to stare at me, I could have stayed home and sent you a picture,” Felix scolded, moving towards what he assumed was the living room. 

Chan chuckled behind him, “so I can actually ask for pictures?” 

Chan couldn’t see it because Felix had his back to him, but he was pretty sure he heard the younger let out an amused scoff too. “Do that and I’ll block your number in a heartbeat.” 

Knowing it was better not to push too much all at once, Chan made a gesture to Felix to sit down at the table before quickly going to his room to take his books. When he came back, Chan didn’t take long to notice that Felix seemed way more relaxed there than he did in the library, perhaps because there wasn’t anyone staring at him with hate in their eyes every time he was next to Chan. They weren’t blind, they knew about the rumours circulating in school about them and why they were constantly together but neither of them seemed to care that much. 

“Come on, you’ve been actually doing your part. I don’t think it will take much for you to pass the test at this point,” Felix encouraged without a reason, his voice sounding reassuring. 

At that, Chan couldn’t help smiling for real, happy that Felix was recognizing his efforts. “It’s thanks to you actually,” Chan tried, knowing all too well how cheesy it sounded. 

Before Felix could tease him for it or could answer in any way, Chan saw him avert his eyes from him to focus instead on the window right behind Chan. Because he had his back to it, Chan didn’t understand at first what was happening when Felix’s eyes widened and started to sparkle. 

“It’s snowing!” the younger exclaimed and it was arguably the most expressive he had ever been in Chan's presence. Felix looked like a little kid on Christmas Day and, as much as Chan didn’t really understand what was so surprising about snow, he still could have watched Felix be that excited for the rest of his life. 

After a second of just staring through the window, Felix seemed to remember who he was with and recollected himself, “sorry, I’m just still not used to seeing snow.” Felix sounded embarrassed, something Chan had never had the pleasure to see. 

Chan could only nod, trying to hide the fondness he was feeling for the boy in front of him. 

Felix was glad to let the topic drop and, by the time they had finished their lesson for the day, it was already eight in the evening. When Chan got up and looked outside of the window, his face scrunched up in worry. 

“Are you walking home?” Chan asked as Felix was putting all his books in his backpack, ready to leave. 

The younger nodded, not noticing Chan’s concern, “no one can pick me up right now.” 

Chan hadn’t thought it could even be an option, but there was no way he wasn’t going to suggest it anyway, “you should stay over.” 

If there was anything Chan had learned about Felix, it was that there was no way he would have accepted the offer without some convincing, above all if the suggestion meant more time together and in his house of all places. 

“That sounds like an awful plan,” Felix answered, not stopping even a second in collecting all his things. But Chan wasn’t going to give up so easily and he was pretty sure a part of Felix wanted to accept, he just needed to understand why Felix prefered running away from him every time. 

“Come on, Felix. It’s literally storming outside, I can’t just let you walk all the way to your house in such weather,” Chan tried to reason and he could see how Felix’s movements slowed down, “besides you were freezing before already, there’s no way you’re going out now.” 

At that Felix stared at him, surprised that Chan was worrying so much over him. Chan could clearly see in Felix’s eyes how hard he was trying to come up with something against his suggestion but there was nothing he could say. 

“Among all the people I could be with during a snowstorm, it had to be you,” Felix shook his head scoffing, his own way to agree to Chan’s offer. 

The atmosphere between them was lighter than it had ever been and Chan smiled, overjoyed that Felix had decided to stay, “you’re not going to think that anymore after I cook for you.” 

The glint in Felix’s eyes, something close to happiness too, became challenging and Chan knew Felix wouldn’t let him off the hook so easily. 

“Why are you still here talking then? I’m starving,” Felix asked, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for Chan to do something. 

Chan laughed but made his way to the kitchen nevertheless, hearing Felix follow him close behind. Now, Chan truly was not that bad of a cook but he also hadn’t planned to have anyone over for dinner, which meant he had no idea what to cook for the two of them. As he opened the cupboards in the kitchen, he came to the sad conclusion that it was either instant ramen or take-outs. The second option was probably more appealing but he didn’t know who would bring them food during a snowstorm. 

“So, we have instant ramen,” Chan announced with fake excitement, to cover how embarrassed he was, “or instant ramen.” 

Felix, who was sitting on one of the high stools they had around the kitchen table, was taken off guard by his own laughter at Chan's words. He had high expectations after what Chan had told him but, since the older was so concerned to let him stay over, he figured he couldn’t complain. 

Still, he couldn't just let it go so easily. 

“Is instant ramen your weapon to convince me to stay over?” Felix asked, feeling more at ease with each passing second. 

It was weird really. 

Chan was indeed the player people described him as, but he had also another part of him, a part Felix was slowly getting to know. Spending time with him was more enjoyable than Felix could have ever thought, even if he was purposely sassier with him, not letting him get under his skin. However, it became more and more difficult as they got to know each other more. 

Perhaps, Bang Chan wasn’t the asshole he pretended to be, just as Felix wasn’t the perfect role model. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t really plan to cook myself a meal,” Chan felt the need to apologize, his hand coming to the back of his neck like Felix had noticed he did when he was embarrassed. Not that he was ever going to tell him, but Felix found it pretty adorable. 

“It’s okay,” Felix reassured smiling lightly, “I was just joking.” 

“Besides, my weapon to convince you to stay over is my amazing presence,” Chan recollected himself, smiling blindingly at the younger. They were back at their usual teasing and both of them found some sort of comfort in the familiarity. 

Chan started to work on dinner while Felix swayed from side to side on the stool, looking around the cleaned and untouched kitchen. He then remembered he had forgotten to tell his uncle and aunt he wasn’t coming home, so he quickly called them. 

Chan watched the younger explain the situation on the phone, nodding from time to time. 

“Yeah, I’m staying over,” Felix said to the other end. 

The voice on the phone said something Chan couldn’t quite decipher, but the bright red blush on Felix’s cheeks made him incredibly curious to know. After that, Felix quickly hung up, the blush still high on his cheeks. 

“What’s up?” Chan asked, clearly interested to know what had made Felix so embarrassed. 

“Nothing,” the younger quickly shrugged it off, but his eyes never met Chan’s. 

Chan gave Felix some time to recollect himself while he prepared dinner for them but before he could say anything, Felix talked again. 

“Aren’t your parents home?” Felix questioned, noticing only now how quiet the house was, only their voices ringing in the silence. 

“Nope,” Chan replied as he stirred the noodles in the pot, “they went out for dinner with some friends. They should be back in a couple of hours.” 

Felix pretended not to notice the disappointed expression on Chan's face. 

“You were going to spend the whole day here alone?” Felix couldn’t stop himself from asking. He didn’t know anything about Chan's parents or the dynamic of his family but still, from the way Chan talked about it, it seemed like it wasn’t the first time he was left alone to take care of himself. 

Chan shrugged, either not caring or not wanting to talk about it. 

“You are here, aren’t you?” he pointed out and, for a second, he was afraid he had said too much again. Instead of being weirded out, Felix lowered his eyes and kept looking at his hands. 

Chan didn’t call him out for the blush rushing back to his face. 

As dinner was finally served, the conversation flowed easier between them. For the first time, Chan didn’t have to beg for Felix to tell him something more about himself, sharing facts and stories here and there, while asking about Chan too. 

“I still don’t understand how you’re failing English of all subjects,” Felix pointed out, munching on his noodles. Now, instead of sounding mocking, Felix seemed only curious to understand more. 

“I might speak English but it’s still hard to study something you don’t give a fuck about,” Chan explained, trying to make Felix see his point. 

“Welcome to school,” Felix sang, laughing when Chan scoffed at him. “What are you interested in, then?” Felix asked, feeling like it was only right for Chan to share something about himself too now that he knew about Felix’s hobby. 

“You, I’m interested in you,” Chan thought and fought hard to keep it to himself. 

“I want to make music,” Chan proudly announced, knowing the younger could somehow relate since he was a dancer himself. 

Felix hadn’t seen that coming at all but, as soon as he went over the surprise, Chan could recognize awe in his eyes, “you make music?” 

Chan nodded, proud but still shy at the attention he was getting from Felix. “It’s nothing much, I don’t have the right equipment and staff to record anything high quality,” he explained. He wasn’t ashamed to say that he wrote lyrics and composed music but still, there was something odd in seeing Felix so excited and curious about this aspect of himself. 

“Can I listen to something?” Felix sounded genuinely interested and Chan couldn’t hide the soft smile forming on his lips. That evening was going better than Chan had imagined and he couldn’t ask for anything more. 

“When I’ll get to see your tattoos,” Chan replied, playfully but not in any way less honestly. Felix had thought Chan had forgotten about it or at least didn’t care anymore, how wrong he was. 

“You and your obsession over tattoos,” Felix whined, shaking his head and, if it came out softer than he intended it to, Chan didn’t point it out. 

Chan shrugged his shoulders for the umpteenth time that day before casually replying, “not my fault I think tattoos are hot.” 

Felix choked on the mouthful of noodles he was chewing and Chan burst out laughing. Chan was being way bolder than he usually dared to and Felix wasn’t shying away from the attention anymore, not in the same way at least. 

Something had clearly switched between them, and there was no way Chan wasn’t going to push the boundaries until the limit. 

After all, Felix didn’t seem to mind all that much. 

…

“What about watching a movie?” Chan suggested after cleaning up the table.

As stupid as it sounded, he didn’t want the night to end already and, as long as Felix wanted to do something else, he was down with anything. 

“A movie sounds good,” Felix agreed easily, “but don’t you dare to choose a horror.” 

Felix tried to mask his fear with a threat but Chan could see right through him. 

“Little Lixie is scared?” he mocked, ruffling the younger’s hair. 

Felix tsked and leaned away, “call me Lixie or ruffle my hair again and I’ll chop your arm off.” 

It was funny how defensive Felix could get every time Chan dared to do anything. After all, Chan had the hunch that physical affection was not something the younger was so against, he had seen him with his friends. 

Chan chuckled at Felix’s empty threat before leading them back to the living room, “you can go ahead, I’ll change in some more comfortable clothes.” 

Before Chan had the chance to move out of the room, Felix called for him. 

“Can I borrow some clothes?” Felix asked all in one breath as if it physically pained him to ask. 

In his defence, Chan hadn’t thought about that at all. 

Felix was staying the night and, of course, he couldn’t let him sleep in his jeans and sweatshirt. He was scared that the sight of the younger in his clothes could make his heart collapse, but he surely wasn’t going to say no. 

“Yeah,” he choked out, “give me a second.” 

With that, Chan left to his room, looking through his wardrobe to find some clothes for himself and for the younger. Now, Felix was definitely smaller than he was, so everything he wore was probably going to look huge on the other boy. 

Chan quickly changed and came back with different clothes on and the ones he had picked for Felix in his hand, “there you go, the bathroom is the second door on the left.” 

Now that he was alone, Chan stopped to think about the day for a second. 

He would have spent all his day alone but, instead, Felix had been there with him, not only keeping him company throughout the day but staying for the night as well. Chan was aware of how quickly he had grown fond of the younger but, for the first time since the tutoring lessons started, he had the feeling that all his efforts were going somewhere. 

Felix was more relaxed and comfortable in his presence, had stopped snapping at him for everything and the teasing had become more playful than anything. Above all, Chan’s little comments here and there finally drew a reaction from the younger, the pleased sparkle in his eyes making Chan believe that Felix really wasn’t so indifferent about him. 

Lost in his thoughts, Chan hadn’t heard the boy come into the living room, a pout on his lips. 

Chan felt like laughing, cooing and crying all at once. Felix looked incredibly tiny and soft and Chan would have gladly thrown away everything he had if it meant being able to cuddle Felix for the rest of their night together. 

Felix, on the other hand, didn’t look too happy, literally swimming in the huge hoodie Chan had given him, “I swear to God if you purposely choose your biggest hoodie just to see me like this, I’ll kick your ass.” 

Even if Felix could actually look threatening before, not even his scariest tone could be successful now. He was probably aware of it because he flopped down on the couch with a scoff, not even caring about the fact that it only made him look cuter. 

“I wasn’t going to pass out on the opportunity,” Chan admitted easily, gladly having his ass kicked if it meant seeing Felix like that. 

“You’re annoying and I don’t know why I agreed to this,” Felix shook his head, pulling the hoodie over his white hair as if he was trying to shield his face from Chan. 

With all the courage he could muster, Chan leaned in, whispering straight into Felix’s ear, “because you like the attention.” 

Felix stayed silent and Chan, smiling like a fool, pressed play on the movie. 

The voices of the actors covered the sound of their hearts beating furiously in their chests. 

... 

As the movie came to an end, Chan could see Felix’s eyes dropping closed from time to time, fatigue almost making him fall asleep right then and there. He guessed it was time to head to bed and, even though he was sad that it was the end of such a special day, there was still something they needed to discuss. 

“Sleepy?” Chan simply asked, turning on the lamp beside the sofa when the screen of the tv went black. 

Felix simply nodded, probably too tired to say anything else. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Chan suggested, extending a hand for Felix to take. 

When the words reached Felix’s ears, he seemed to instantly wake up. “There is no way I’m sharing a bed with you,” he declared, tired eyes still too soft to be threatening. 

“And there’s no way either of us sleeps on the couch, my parents will be back soon and they will ask too many questions,” Chan explained and while, yes, that was one of the reasons, Chan could admit without shame that he also just wanted Felix close for some more time. 

“And they won’t if they find me in your bed?” Felix cornered him, confused after having thought he was just going to take the couch. 

“They won’t even notice, they have plans with some other friends tomorrow morning too, so they will leave early,” Chan said, not lying at all. 

Felix sighed. “I want to argue but I’m too tired to find anything to say,” Felix confessed before getting up, ignoring Chan's extended hand. Chan chuckled at him, fondness clear in his eyes before leading Felix to the bedroom. 

Chan’s bed was big enough for two people if you squeezed in a bit, but it still felt surreal to Felix. As they laid down, without sharing a word, Felix moved to the far end of the bed, putting as much distance between them as he could. 

“If you come too close, I won’t hesitate to kick you out of bed,” Felix warned, he too did not understand why he was getting so worked up about sleeping in the same bed as Chan. 

“Are you always this violent?” Chan chuckled but still respected the distance. “You know, people in our school would beg to share a bed with me,” Chan ventured, curious to know if Felix had anything to say about that or if he would just close up again. 

On the other side of the bed, with his back turned to him, Felix kept silent for a few seconds before yawning. “I know, but I'm not one of your flings,” he simply answered. 

Perhaps, Felix didn’t know how true his words were. 

“No, you’re not,” Chan’s voice came out softer than he wanted it to and Felix felt a shiver run down his spine at the sincerity in his voice. 

Felix for Chan was not a fling, he wasn’t one of the people Chan played with. Maybe he had never been or maybe things changed but still, that was why around him Chan acted in a way he had never seen him acting with other people. 

Chan was letting Felix know his true self, not the persona he had created. 

And Felix finally understood that. 

…

When Chan woke up, there was a weight on his chest.

He had no idea what time it was but, if the fact that no light came from his window was a hint, he could safely say it was still the middle of the night. He couldn’t understand what had woken him up from such a peaceful sleep until he moved his head. 

There, right in front of his eyes, there was a mop of white hair lying on his chest, an arm carelessly thrown over his body. Chan stayed frozen, not sure if he was awake or dreaming. When he rested his arm around Felix’s shoulders, the heat of the younger’s body warming him up, he realised that it was no dream and Felix was really cuddled up against him. 

One part of him wanted to stay like that forever, to wrap himself around Felix and get all the cuddles he had been craving ever since the younger had walked in wearing his biggest hoodie. Another part of him, however, didn’t want to take advantage of Felix’s sleepy state when he had made it clear that he didn’t enjoy the closeness. 

As carefully as possible, Chan tried to prey Felix’s arms away from his body, rolling the other way so that there was some distance between them again. It would have been a rather easy task if Felix wasn’t wrapped around him like an octopus and, every time he moved, he let out a whine, too close to waking up. 

Eventually, Chan gave up, his efforts having just made Felix snuggle closer to him. 

“So much for not wanting me close,” Chan whispered in the dark, his fingers unconsciously carding through Felix’s hair. 

Apparently, all the movements had woken Felix up from his deep sleep and, while Chan was still worrying over what he should do, the younger hid his face in the crook of his neck. 

“Shut up, stop moving and let me be soft for once,” Felix’s voice came, just as quietly. 

Chan’s fingers stopped the gentle carding through Felix’s hair and his breath hitched. When nothing else came and Felix seemed more than content where he was, Chan allowed himself to breathe again. 

Now that he was sure Felix wasn’t going to be upset with him, he took full advantage of it and wrapped himself around Felix just as tightly. He heard Felix scoff in his shoulder but he made no move to pull away. If anything he seemed to enjoy the sudden warmth all over him. 

There had been many things Chan had hoped for that day. Getting to meet Felix outside of the school’s walls, learning a few more facts about him, making Felix feel more comfortable in his presence, seeing the younger wear his clothes. 

Not even in his most wishful scenario, he had thought he would have ended up sharing a bed with Felix and, even better, having the younger wrapped around him in the way he was, clearly telling him that, yes, he was okay with cuddling. 

Perhaps the spell was going to break right the day after but, for now, Chan had a sleepy Felix locked in his arms and nothing could take that moment away from him. 

... 

The next time Chan woke up, it was to the sunlight shining in his eyes and the same warmth all over him. Their position hadn’t changed much through the course of the night but now Chan was lying on his side too, their heads sharing the same pillow. If Chan thought he was lucky before, then he had never felt more so, now that he had the pleasure to wake up with Felix right beside him. 

Their arms were wrapped around one another, Felix looking extremely soft in his hoodie and squished cheeks. Chan took a moment to just enjoy the sight and the feeling of his house being just a bit less empty than it usually was. 

Chan lost the sense of time and stayed there longer than what he had initially wanted to, so long that Felix started to stir in his sleep already. By the light outside, it was probably around nine in the morning but, since it was Sunday, Chan figured neither of the two had any particular plans to get up earlier than that. 

Destroying all Chan's beliefs, when Felix finally opened his eyes, he didn’t pull away at all, not even in the slightest. Chan had thought what happened that night was just caused by Felix’s sleepy state but, even now, awake and completely conscious, Felix didn’t make any move to put some distance between their bodies. 

When their eyes met, Chan couldn’t help smiling at the boy in front of him. 

“What did you say about kicking me out of bed again?” Chan asked, his voice croaky because of sleep. He had meant to sound teasing but, even to his own ears, his tone was just incredibly fond. 

Felix huffed, closing his eyes once again. “I can’t function without my sane dose of cuddles,” he answered casually, making it hard for Chan to not coo at him, “besides, it’s not like you minded.” 

Chan couldn’t argue with that. 

He didn’t know why Felix made it sound like it was a normal conversation topic between them and, above all, he couldn’t figure out why the younger was suddenly not brushing off his comments, and even opening up without any question asked. 

With Felix still wrapped around his body, Chan guessed those doubts could wait. 

Unaware of the mess of thoughts in Chan’s head, Felix whispered, “if you still want to win me over with food, I’d kill for some breakfast.” His voice was even huskier than it usually was and Chan shivered at the feeling of lips moving against his neck with every word Felix said. 

With happiness warming his heart from the first minute of his morning, Chan believed it was definitely going to be a good day. 

... 

Chan had long thought about the situation after that morning. 

When Felix had returned home, leaving the house empty, the warmth he had left in Chan’s chest didn’t disappear. Something had happened, he wasn’t sure what it was or how a simple hang out had done the job, but Chan knew he couldn’t just go back to pretending like he didn’t feel butterflies in his stomach every time Felix was close anymore. 

If anything, Felix must have felt something too or, at least, he must have been comfortable with Chan trying. Otherwise, none of the things that had happened that night would have been possible. Still, if Chan didn’t confront him, he couldn’t know what Felix’s thoughts about all of that were and, by simply ignoring it, the younger could just decide to close up again, now that the spell of that day was broken. 

Chan realised that he had two choices, he could let Felix do that and watch the younger put space between them again, or he could risk everything and try his luck. After all, with how Chan usually behaved with other people, how could Felix not know how truly genuine his intentions were? 

What people knew about Chan was that he didn’t take relationships seriously. 

In his defence, the people he had dated had only cared about being able to brag with everyone about their status, never trying to make an effort to get to know who he really was. Or, perhaps, it was him the one who had never felt so comfortable with them to open up. 

Felix was different, as sappy as it is. 

He didn’t care about Chan's popularity or about who he faked to be in front of others, maybe because they shared the same secret and he could see right through that facade. After all, Felix wasn’t who he pretended to be either. 

Chan was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a coward. 

There was clearly a chance of Felix rejecting him and, if the students in their school heard about that, it could destroy the character he had built for himself. However, the only thing that Chan cared about was that, in the same way, there was also a chance of Felix feeling the same way about him. 

Chan would have gladly risked everything he had if it meant having Felix by his side. 

Day after day, he watched Felix ignore the elephant in the room every time they were together as if that day had never happened. That pushed him to make his decision quickly and, within the next week, he finally made up his mind. 

Instead of feeling nervous, he was full of determination, an excited buzz making his body tremble. 

“Do you need to be somewhere?” Chan asked back in the library as they finished another lesson that had felt never-ending to the older. Felix was putting away his books but Chan couldn’t help noticing how slowly he was moving as if he too was trying to take some more time before inevitably parting ways. 

“You mean now?” Felix asked back, only getting a nod from Chan as an answer, “not really, I’m just heading home.” 

The questioning tone of Felix’s voice made Chan explain himself before any real question could be asked. “We should hang out,” Chan suggested, paying careful attention to Felix’s reaction. The adrenaline in his body was still there but he couldn’t deny that there was also some tension now too. 

“We have just spent the last three hours together and you still want to hang out?” Felix wondered, sounding sceptical. If Chan wasn’t paying such careful attention to every detail of the younger’s expression, he wouldn’t have noticed the pleased glint in his eyes as if he hadn’t expected someone wanting to spend so much time in his presence. 

“Yup,” Chan confirmed cheerfully, the same feeling still present when he talked again, “actually, I should have probably called it a date.” 

Chan was definitely nervous now but he tried to hide it as best as he could. If Felix was really going to turn him down, at least he wasn’t going to let the younger see him miserable and hurt. 

Felix did nothing of that sort, instead, he just stared right at Chan in the same way he had done the first time they had studied together. That analysing, expressionless look he had every time he didn’t take Chan seriously and thought instead that he was just playing jokes on him. 

“You’re asking me out on a date?” Felix repeated with nothing in his voice Chan could study, making sure he had not somehow misheard the elder’s words. 

Chan chuckled breathly, trying his hardest to not let Felix’s reaction visibly upset him, “am I really that bad at this? Yes, Felix, I’m asking you out.” 

By the way his eyes sparkled, hearing the words again made Felix clearly relax. 

Felix didn’t say anything out loud, thinking the words over again and again. The only thing that made Chan a bit less tense in his silence was the way Felix’s eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness and the small, bearly there smile tugging at his lips. 

Chan was pretty sure he had his answer already. 

“Since when does Bang Chan make the first move?” Felix finally asked, even if it definitely wasn’t what Chan was expecting. Felix still wasn’t completely convinced, enjoying keeping Chan hanging instead. 

Still, that didn’t stop Chan from pushing a bit more, “since I met this super amazing guy who I’m pretty sure won’t do anything about all of this if I’m not the one embarrassing himself first.” With his words, he made a vague gesture between them with his hand. 

Felix kept stubbornly quiet but genuinely smiled at the confession, a good sign for Chan who was still dying inside. However, a moment later, the smile on Felix’s lips faltered and his expression turned serious again as if he had suddenly put the pieces together. 

“Look, if you’re only doing this so that you can later brag about the guy who used to ignore you getting a crush on you too, just leave it.” 

Chan would have laughed at that if he didn’t sense how serious Felix was being. 

Chan was well aware that he had not given him much to work with, but did he really think he was just trying to break his heart? Chan would have been a hypocrite to say his intentions had been the best since the very beginning but, if there was one thing he could have never forgiven himself for, that was hurting Felix. 

“Do you really think I’m playing with you?” Chan asked as firmly as possible. Right now, his only goal was to make sure that Felix understood he wasn’t joking around and that he actually cared about him. 

“What else am I supposed to think?” Felix countered and Chan could see where Felix insecurity was coming from. 

As much as in the last week he had always tried his best to make the younger feel comfortable around him, he had always hidden his feelings behind flirting and teasing. Now that he thought about it, he could really understand why Felix found it hard to believe that he was being honest. 

“I admit none of this was planned. In the beginning, I did just want to play with you,” Chan confessed and Felix didn’t look too surprised about the revelation, letting him continue instead. “But then I got to know you, the real you. And, even after I let myself be truly me around you, you didn’t run away.” 

The happy sparkle in Felix’s eyes came back in full force and, even though Chan still felt like he was going to explode, he knew he had said the right thing and Felix was now fully convinced. 

However, before Felix had the time to properly answer, Chan realised something in the younger’s words he hadn’t paid attention to before. “Wait, did you just say you have a crush on me?” Chan widened his eyes, as his heart was furiously beating in his chest. 

If it weren’t for how serious the conversation had been before, Chan would have noticed Felix’s choice of words sooner. Now that they finally settled in his brain, he couldn’t believe Felix had just admitted that. 

Apparently Felix had, if the blush on his cheeks was anything to go by. 

Felix, his English tutor, the guy he had probably been whipped for since day one, had a crush on him too. Felix felt the same weird mix of feelings as Chan did when the two of them were together, he felt overjoyed but extremely cautious. 

Chan still couldn't quite believe things had really worked out. 

“You know all of this is like the most cliché thing that could have happened, right?” Felix pointed out, the pink tint on his face making it hard for Chan to stop smiling like a fool. 

“So it’s a yes for that date?” Chan repeated, hopeful, the butterflies wild in his chest. He wondered if Felix felt them too before smiling, realising that, yes, he probably did. 

“Where are we going?” Felix simply asked, agreeing on the date with a smile as soft as Chan’s. The older was quite sure he had never seen Felix so happy, not even when he had watched the snow falling from the sky. 

If it was possible, Chan's eyes sparkled even brighter, “I believe I still owe you some good food.” 

Chan got up from his seat while Felix was putting his coat on and, even though it was completely unnecessary, he extended a hand towards the younger. This time though, Felix didn’t ignore it, but instead took it, their fingers naturally intertwining as if they did this every day. 

It must have been a pretty surprising scene, seeing the scariest guy in school together with his exact opposite - or so they thought - holding hands as they walked down the hallway. 

Still, not even the ones who watched them with jealousy written all over their faces could deny that the two looked the happiest they had ever been. 

...

Because he remembered Felix saying he had a huge sweet tooth, Chan took them to his favourite cafe, the one that had the best pastries he had ever tried. Felix must have realised why he had chosen that place among all the others and let out another happy chuckle. 

As soon as they got in, they didn’t waste a second before finding a table for themselves, just beside the big window overviewing the snowy street. With warm drinks in their hands and the sweetest pastries in front of them, Chan had trouble believing he wasn’t dreaming and that Felix was really sitting across the table. 

Somewhere between Chan confessing his feelings, and holding hands on the way to the cafe, Chan noticed Felix was literally glowing, happiness written all over his expression, his voice and his gestures. Chan couldn’t believe he was the one who could make Felix feel so strongly. 

Conversation between them came so naturally that it was hard to remember that they had properly known each other for no more than two weeks. They went from talking about their shared memories of Australia, to how stressful school was for them, to what they wanted to be in the future. The fact that they were both interested in art, Felix as a dancer and Chan as a producer, made it even easier to come up with new topics. 

“I need to ask this,” Felix started when both their cups and their plates were empty, “did Mrs Yoon choose me as your tutor or was it you?”. 

Chan chuckled, scratching the back of his neck and, just from that, Felix knew he was embarrassed. “She let me choose, but she suggested you first so I just took the chance and agreed,” Chan explained, feeling like the moment was so far now. 

Felix didn’t have the time to answer before Chan was the one to ask something that had been on his mind for a few days now. “Can I ask you something now?” Felix nodded, “if you felt the same way, why have you always acted so cold and indifferent towards me?” 

It was Felix this time the one who looked sheepish. 

Still, he felt like he owed Chan an explanation of his own, “I never believed anything you said was actually serious. I just thought you were playing with me because I didn’t seem to fall for it. And, when I did fall for it, I just didn’t want to give you the satisfaction.” 

Chan wasn’t angry or annoyed at the explanation, he just wished Felix had now finally understood the truth. 

“Then, the other day, when you stayed over, what changed?” Chan felt like he had to ask. It had been the first time that Felix had put his guard down with him and he was curious to know what had made him change his mind so suddenly. 

“It’s stupid,” Felix chuckled, keeping his eyes down, “but when you said I wasn’t just a fling for you, you sounded so sure.” Felix confessed softly and Chan was sure he had never seen the younger so vulnerable, “or maybe I’m just crazy and I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.” 

Chan felt a pang in his chest at the words, the need to reassure Felix as quickly as possible. 

“You’re not, crazy I mean. I was serious that day, I wouldn’t have risked getting rejected if I wasn’t sure. I just really want to be with you, Lix,” Chan confessed, wearing his heart on his sleeve for the first time with anyone that wasn’t his family. 

Chan too sounded vulnerable, as if he wasn’t used to expressing his true feelings to someone. It made him feel raw and exposed but, if it meant Felix would finally and completely understand just how much he cared for him, he didn’t mind all that much. 

Felix’s unsure expression finally dropped as he smiled, his eyes turning into crescents. Chan was sure Felix had just absorbed all the light in the cafe for how brightly he was shining. “You know I can be a real pain in the ass, right?” Felix said with his eyes still sparkling, his way to let Chan know that he believed him. 

“That’s another thing we have in common then,” Chan answered, not seeing how having Felix in his life could be anything but a blessing. 

Felix’s expression seemed thoughtful for a second before it smothered back into something soft and full of affection. He rolled back the left sleeve of his uniform, revealing the flesh there. There, just under where the arm folds, ink marked his skin. 

Two dates in roman numbers were written one under the other in an elegant, clean way. 

“You remember I told you I have two sisters?” Felix asked and, at Chan's “ of course I do” , he kept explaining, “we’ve always been really close and, just before I moved here all alone, all three of us got the same tattoo with the birthdays of the other two siblings.” 

As much as Chan did think tattoos were hot aesthetically speaking, the thing that had always made him love them so much was the thought behind them. Most of the time, people had reasons for their tattoos and he had always admired those who weren't afraid of marking their skin with something they were going to keep for the rest of their lives. 

“It’s beautiful, Lix,” Chan said in awe, finding it hard to take his eyes off Felix’s skin. 

The look in Felix’s eyes was fond too when he looked at his tattoo before pulling his sleeve back down. “I have three tattoos in total but don’t think each one of them has such a deep meaning,” Felix chuckled but didn’t make a move to show Chan the other two or explain what they were. 

Chan didn’t mind, he was pretty sure he was going to find out one day anyway. 

“It’s only fair from me to show you something I wrote now, isn’t it?” Chan thought out loud, remembering the deal they had made. 

Felix seemed to remember only when Chan brought it up and the fact that he had shared about his tattoos only because he felt like it and not because he was expecting anything back made Chan fall a bit more. 

“I guess it is,” Felix agreed anyway, unable to hide his excitement. 

“Let’s go then,” Chan said, getting up, a smile on his face. 

There was no need for him to extend his hand for Felix to intertwine their fingers this time. 

Felix didn’t know where they were going but he had a feeling. When the garden of the Bangs’ house came into view his guess was confirmed. It was weird to be back there so soon but with such different dynamics between them. The first time, Felix had just wanted to get away from there as fast as possible but now he walked in holding Chan's hand, with no intention to leave anytime soon. 

Felix had just the time to notice that the house was empty again before Chan pulled him to the living room where they left their things. They sat on the couch with Chan's laptop already waiting for them on the coffee table. Felix couldn’t help noticing how nervous Chan looked while he opened folders on his desktop and, as much as Felix was flattered the older cared so much about his opinion, he didn’t want him to feel so anxious because of him. He leaned his head on Chan’s shoulder as the older kept clicking folders, having understood how he wasn’t the only one who found comfort in physical affection. 

“Don’t have high expectations, it’s nothing much,” Chan warned once again as he handed Felix his earphones. He looked like he was scared of disappointing Felix but the younger was quick to block him with a smile, “let me be the one judging.” 

As he pressed play, the only thing Chan could do was study Felix’s face. 

Others had heard his music but it had always been his closest friends, people who knew what his musical style was so they could guess, at least to a certain point, what to expect. With Felix, it was different. He didn't know about his music, he didn’t know how much Chan had worked on the lyrics he was listening to. 

That probably made it even more meaningful when he saw the awe clearly written all over the younger’s face with each second more he listened to the song in his earphones. Felix was impressed and he was not pretending to make him feel better. 

“And you call this low quality? This is beautiful, people should be able to listen to it,” Felix finally praised as the last note of the song faded. Felix’s eyes told Chan how awestruck the younger’s had been listening to the track and it was Chan this time who felt like shying away. 

Now he understood what Felix had felt when he had complimented his tattoo. 

Feeling like they both needed a break from the rollercoaster of emotions, Chan suggested watching another movie so that they could both have the time to calm down their beating hearts. Felix was quick to agree. 

Before Chan could press play on the movie, though, Felix had something else to ask. 

“Can I borrow your hoodie again?” he pouted as if he needed to act any cuter for Chan to do whatever he wanted. 

Chan smiled, not believing how the boy he had in front of him was the same person who had ignored him for almost a year. 

“Look at you, last week you were threatening to kick my ass if I moved too close and now you’re willingly asking to borrow my clothes,” Chan teased, the softness in his voice impossible to hide. 

“Technically, I willingly asked for your clothes the first time too,” Felix pointed out but couldn’t help smiling when Chan got up to do exactly what he had asked him. 

When Chan came back with that same gigantic hoodie in his hands handing it to Felix, the younger jumped up from the couch and, with a singsong tone, “ I’ll be back in a second” , he disappeared towards the bathroom. 

A week before, Chan had set in the exact same place, waiting for Felix and not knowing where things were going to lead to. Now, Chan was waiting for his sort-of-boyfriend and, as much as they still had to clear a few things, he was sure Felix felt just as he did. 

Felix came back from the bathroom wearing his hoodie again and this time he didn’t seem to mind how he could literally swim in it. Still, Chan didn’t lose his opportunity to say something freely now that he could, “you know, I think choosing that hoodie was the best decision I’ve ever made.” 

Instead of scoffing as he had done that first time, Felix laughed at Chan’s comment before flopping down on the sofa with his legs crossed. The hoodie smelled like Chan and Felix made a silent vow to himself to steal it from the other every time he could. 

As the movie progressed and the butterflies in Chan's stomach were still wild, he decided he couldn’t pass out on the opportunity of getting to cuddle Felix again. Now that they knew where they stood with each other, nothing could stop him. 

They were sitting rather close already so it didn’t take much for Chan to carefully wrap his arm around Felix’s shoulders and gently pull him towards himself. Felix had definitely sensed it because he only smiled, leaning on his chest as if he had been waiting exactly for that the whole time. 

“You’re way softer than how you act,” Chan whispered, stroking Felix’s hair with his right hand while the younger was comfortably cuddled to his side. 

“Says the one who acts like an asshole half of the time but is just as weak for cuddles as I am,” Felix didn’t need even a second to react, raising his head to look at Chan in the eyes. 

Felix was right, but there was something Chan was more focused on right now. Felix’s face was not even five inches away from his own and he didn’t seem to mind the closeness. If anything he seemed to have his exact same idea. 

“Hey there,” Chan whispered as the distance between them became shorter and shorter. 

“Hi,” was all Felix had the time to say before their lips finally met in the middle. 

The warmth Chan was feeling was something he couldn’t explain in words. It was that warmth you feel when you go to sleep in your own familiar bed after a tiring day, the feeling of coming home to find someone there and not empty walls staring at you. 

Simply, it was having Felix next to him. 

Hopefully, Felix felt all the same things. If the smile he wore when their lips parted was a sign, then he definitely did. 

“Stay the night again?” Chan asked, sounding hopeful and so, so fond. 

Felix chuckled, pecking Chan’s lips again, feeling like he could never get tired of that. “I’d love to, but we have school tomorrow,” he said and, even though he was the one who had just turned down the offer, he looked just as disappointed as Chan did. 

“Stay for dinner at least?” Chan pouted, knowing all too well how needy he sounded. He couldn’t help it, if he could have spent the whole evening kissing Felix, he surely wasn’t going to let it go without trying. 

“As much as I’d love to have you cooking for me again,” Felix started, clearly referring to their instant-ramen-night, “I should really go, my aunt will get worried if I don’t come back soon.” 

“Then just tell them you’re here,” Chan tried his last card. Now, instead of having Felix chuckling at each of his attempts, a blush made its way on the younger’s cheeks. 

“I’ll gladly spare myself the questions,” he simply said, “They’ve already kinda noticed we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.” 

As a flashback, Chan remembered Felix’s conversation on the phone and the way the younger had suddenly blushed at something either his uncle or aunt had told him. He thought he could guess what it was all about now. 

“Fine,” Chan finally gave up. 

He was still pouting which made Felix lean in once again and steal a kiss from his lips. One kiss quickly turned into more kisses and a shiver ran down Chan’s spine when his tongue touched the cold metal of Felix’s piercing. Knowing he was only getting distracted, Felix had to get up before Chan convinced him to stay with the promise of more kisses. 

They both got up from the couch reluctantly but, right before Felix was about to put on his coat, he remembered he was still wearing Chan's hoodie. The prospect of taking it off, leaving him with his uniform and the smell of Chan's cologne not all over him anymore didn’t sound too appealing. 

“Keep it,” Chan cut in, sensing Felix’s inner struggle, “you can just give it back next time.” 

Felix smiled, nodding and finally putting on his coat. 

Next time , those words rang especially good to both of them. 

“See you tomorrow?” Felix said before stepping out of the house. 

“Of course,” Chan responded and, with a gentle movement, he pulled Felix closer, kissing him softly one last time. 

When the door closed behind the boy, the house Chan was left in was empty and silent but it didn’t change his mood in the slightest. Felix’s laugh still rang in the room and Chan’s body still felt warm where Felix had been pressed to. 

It didn’t matter that Chan was now alone because he would see Felix the next day, and hopefully, the day after and the day after that too. 

And he would still see him two years later when the words Chan had let Felix hear that day long ago were tattooed on his right arm, mirroring the dates he had on his left one. 

“I love you,” Chan said, caressing the tattoo, careful not to hurt Felix. 

“I love you too,” Felix answered without hesitation. 

Chan had always loved tattoos but he could have never imagined how emotional it would be to see a part of himself inked on someone else’s body. Not just someone else, but the person who had made him love himself for who he was, no facades. 

Chan had never been touched by the words on Felix’s arm as much as he was now. 

Because, after meeting Felix, Chan had realised how true they were. 

Blessings wait for you.