Chapter Text
— “I’m sorry I didn’t trust your judgement,” Adil said. “I was blinded by my fears, and I just dismissed your feelings. Please forgive me.”
They were curled up on the bed, jackets off to better feel each other’s warmth.
— “There’s nothing to forgive,” Toby replied softly.
— “Yes there is, Toby. You kept reassuring me, and I kept doubting and showing you I did. That must have been so hurtful to you…”
— “It was,” Toby admitted. “But I understand why you did. And I forgive you. Can you forgive me for hurting you too?”
— “It wasn’t your intention…”
— “No. But I did hurt you.”
— “Yes…and I forgive you, too.”
Toby let out a deep breath.
— “You do know I love everything about you, don’t you? Your kindness, your wits, your intelligence, your conversation…even when it’s not about anything in particular, just hearing about your day…making fun of the patrons together…I love all of that…”
— “Yes…I know…”
— “Before we got together, when I was ranting at you at the bar and you listened… I thought that you were just being polite because you had no other choice…but you seemed to be really listening, really paying attention and caring…and it felt so good to imagine that you did…”
— “I really did,” Adil said. “I always did.”
— “I realized that after we got together. You always remembered things I said, topics I talked about…you asked for more information, more details…no one else ever did that. Not even Emma. And you weren’t just listening. You always had something to contribute, an opinion, a remark to make…I don’t think you realize how stimulating it was for me. You made me see things differently. You still do. You have such a brilliant mind, Adil. And I fear I have not told you that often enough. Because it was so obvious to me…but I should have. I should have told you when I saw you were feeling threatened by Alistair’s education. It’s true that I deeply enjoyed his conversation, but it didn’t make me value yours any less. Believe me.”
Adil stroked the back of Toby’s hand with his thumb.
— “Thank you for saying that,” he murmured.
He had not realized how much he needed to hear these words.
— “It’s not just your looks, or the sex…it’s never been just the sex. If I made you feel like it was for the past couple of weeks, or…or ever before…then I’m really, really sorry…”
Toby’s voice broke on the last words and Adil’s heart clenched with guilt.
— “No, my love,” he said firmly, looking Toby right in the eyes. “You never did or said anything to make me feel that way. Those words I said when we were arguing…I didn’t mean them. I knew it was not the truth. I’m the one who closed up and started making everything about sex, just because…because I felt that it was the one field I could use to compete with St-John. And it was wrong of me. Very, very wrong.”
— “I didn’t enjoy it as much as usual,” Toby said in a low voice, averting his eyes. “I mean I didn’t feel as…connected to you. Did you?”
— “No…I…Gods, Toby…did you ever feel…pressured? Like you had to do things you didn’t really want to?”
The harrowing thought had flashed in Adil’s mind like sharp claws. He had been prone to suspect St-John of misconduct, but had not even questioned his own behaviour.
Toby looked up at him, eyes wide.
— “What? No, no! Never!”
Adil let out a breath of relief.
— “What about you…” Toby asked, hazel eyes still staring at him in concern. “Did you feel like you…had to, so I wouldn’t get bored?”
Adil had never thought about it in those terms.
— “I never forced myself to do anything,” he replied. “But yes, I was scared you’d get bored.”
Toby closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
— “Please don’t do that again,” he said. “If it ever happens again…please just talk to me.”
— “I will…it won’t happen again, I promise.”
Silence fell between them for a moment.
— “Toby, there’s something I must tell you,” Adil said, realizing he had not yet shared that capital information with him. “It will be a bit of a shock, but I promise you there’s nothing to worry about.”
Toby sat up on the bed and looked at him in alarm.
So much for not worrying him.
— “What? What is it?”
— “Betsey and Sonny…they know about us.”
Toby’s eyes widened again.
— “Did you tell them?”
— “No, of course not. They just…guessed it on their own, a while ago. I only found out today…I was terrified at first, but they were very accepting and kind. They acted like true friends, really…It’s not going to be like with d’Abberville, I promise!” He quickly added.
Toby bit his lip, looking at him pensively. Adil was surprised at how calm he looked now that he had heard the news.
— “They’re your friends,” he finally said. “If you trust them, I suppose I can trust them too.”
— “You can,” Adil assured, relieved. “You really can.”
Toby’s lips curled up into a smile.
— “I’m so happy for you,” he said. “You have someone in your corner now. They know and accept you just as you are.”
— “Yes,” Adil breathed. “It’s such a relief that I don’t have to hide this from them anymore…but I thought you would be more worried about it, even though there’s no reason to…”
— “That’s because…I know how you feel,” Toby replied, looking at him with a strange glint in his eyes that Adil couldn’t quite place.
— “You do? Toby, what…?”
— “I also have something to tell you.”
— “Yes?”
— “My mother…she knows about us too…well, about me. And she knows I’m in love with someone, but I didn’t tell her it was you.”
If he had not yet been lying on the bed, Adil would have felt the need to sit down. Betsey and Sonny being accepting was one thing, but Lady Hamilton…if she didn’t approve of Toby’s inclinations, things would get dire very quickly. Adil had heard rumours about her trying to sabotage Mr Garland’s career. The woman was all steel hand in a velvet glove, and when she was crossed with something or someone, she could be lethal. Even if Toby had not told her Adil’s name, she was clever enough to put two and two together and would guess the truth sooner than later…
— “Your mother knows,” he repeated, trying hard not to panic. “And you’re relieved?”
— “Yes. Because she’s accepted me too,” Toby answered, sounding as though he couldn’t quite believe his own words. “It was just earlier…I already thought that she might be suspecting something, so I sort of tested the waters…and she took the hint. We talked and…She said she just wanted me to be happy. She won’t pressure me to marry even if something happens to Freddie.”
— “What?” Adil exclaimed. “Really?”
— “Yes, really! Adil, I’m free! She said she would still pretend to want to pair me up with some girl from time to time, so as not to raise suspicion, but it will all be just for show. She promised she’d do her best to keep me safe for as long as she could. She was sincere, I’m sure of it. “
— “Toby, that…that’s wonderful,” Adil breathed.
— “I would never have thought she’d react like that,” Toby said. “And now you tell me about Betsey and Sonny…isn’t it amazing?”
— “Yes, Adil answered. It seems almost too good to be true…”
He couldn’t help the little voice that told him not to take anything at face value. His “once bitten, twice shy” reflex was too strong.
Toby’s face darkened, and he felt bad for dampening the mood, but it didn’t last.
— “Maybe it’s just good?” Toby suggested softly. “Maybe we deserve something good after what we’ve been through?”
— “You’re right,” Adil said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
— “No, I get that you are scared. I am too. But doesn’t it give you hope too? Hope that if they react like that, then more people might? Even just the rest of our friends and family…for me there’s still Freddie, Emma…”
Toby stopped short, as though struck by a sudden thought.
“Emma…he repeated. Betsey and Emma are close friends! Do you think she told her?”
— “No,” Adil replied firmly. “She wouldn’t do that unless Emma said something first.”
Toby sighed. “I wish I was brave enough to tell her myself…and Freddie as well…”
Adil put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.
— “One step at a time,” he said.
Toby looked at him intently.
— “If my mother accepts me…why wouldn’t your parents accept you, too?”
Adil should have expected the question, but he still felt a lump forming in his throat.
— “Toby…”
— “They love you so much…”
— “Yes, they do. But I’m not sure it would change anything.”
— “Who of them would you tell first if you could choose?”
— “My sister,” Adil replied without much hesitation.
Priya had always been his confidante. The one he asked for advice whenever he felt like the adults wouldn’t understand. But they were both adults now, too. Priya would probably be a mother soon.
How would she react if it was her son?
— “I might tell them one day,” he murmured. “When I think the moment is right. Maybe, if Dhani marries and has children, then…but not right now. I just can’t.”
Toby didn’t push, just holding him closer.
— “Alright,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I brought that up. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
— “I know. You were just trying to give me hope,” Adil replied. “And I thank you for that. But for the moment, I’m content with knowing we both have someone on our sides.”
Silence fell over them for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt intimate; a quiet acknowledgement of their mutual understanding, of the restored harmony between them as they lay there enclosed into their secret crystal palace that was not so hidden, not so invisible to the world anymore, but still miraculously standing.
— “Alistair told me about Polari,” Toby resumed talking after a moment. “You know about it too, don’t you?”
— “Yes,” Adil admitted.
— “Why didn’t you tell me about it? I mean, I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me what George’s words meant when I asked you to...Alistair didn’t tell me either, not exactly, and but I think I can guess now. I’m just wondering why you never told me before that something like that existed.”
Adil sighed. Toby didn’t look reproachful or hurt, but he still felt ashamed for lying to him.
— “I never told you because it was something from my past, and I don’t particularly like to think or talk about it,” he said.
— “If it’s painful for you, I understand…But Adil, you know you can tell me everything, and I won’t ever judge you. Your past…it’s a part of you, and I accept it all. The good and the bad. Trust me. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Adil was deeply touched. He thought it over for a little while before answering, though.
— “It’s not that I’m ashamed,” he said. “It’s more that…it’s something I’ve moved on from. I’ve been lucky enough to experience something more, something so much more fulfilling…now that I have you, I realize how empty I was then. How pointless it all felt. That’s what I think about when I think about Polari.”
Toby wordlessly intertwined their fingers.
— “This language…It’s not a language of love,” Adil went on, feeling the need to explain himself further. “It’s crude and it’s superficial at the same time…there are not much words in it that express tenderness and emotion…at least, not in what I learned…and the places I’ve learned it in, the men I’ve used it with…they’re not what I wanted to associate with you. It just felt wrong. Because you mean so much to me…you deserved soft, beautiful words, much more beautiful than those I knew in Polari...I had barely enough words to describe my feelings in English or Hindi as it was…if I could, I would have invented new ones, just for you.”
— “Oh, Adil…” Toby murmured, eyes wide and shining with emotion.
He nestled his face in the crook of Adil’s neck, breathing in his scent.
— “I used to be so jealous of those men,” he said after a while.
— “There is really nothing to be jealous of,” Adil replied. “Gods, Toby, it doesn’t even compare…”
— “I know that now…but in the beginning, I couldn’t help thinking that they must have been so much more attractive than me, so much funnier and more confident, and so much better in bed…”
— “A bed was only involved once,” Adil informed him matter-of-factly.
He didn’t add that, if he remembered correctly, he had just been bracing himself on the edge of the mattress.
— “You know what I mean…”
— “Yes. But as I say, you have nothing to worry about.”
— “I know. I really don’t envy them now, and I’m so sorry you couldn’t have more…you deserved so much better…”
— “Well I have it now,” Adil answered softly. “And it wasn’t all completely dreary… None of them was mean or violent or anything like that. And there were some nice moments too. I consider myself lucky.”
He meant it. He had seen things and heard stories…and he knew some men had it much rougher than he had.
Toby took his hand and kissed it wordlessly.
— “What’s on your mind?” Adil asked after a while, noticing Toby seemed to have something else to say but apparently couldn’t quite bring himself to.
— “Nothing, it’s just that…I still feel like there’s this whole unknown world that I’ve never experienced…I don’t mean the sex, I mean…the connivance, the community, even if it’s only superficial… and when Alistair told me about Polari, I felt the same way…like I was left out. Cut out from something that men like us were supposed to know and share. That’s how I felt when George used those words and I was the only one in the room who didn’t understand. It made me feel so awkward…like I didn’t belong. And I don’t like that feeling. I know it well, but I still don’t like it at all.”
— “I understand,” Adil replied. “And I had no idea you felt that way…I’m sorry…”
— “It’s alright…I just…I’d understand if you didn’t want to, but I was thinking…”
— “What?”
— “That maybe, if I could learn a bit of Polari…if we could use it together, even just the two of us…it could help me feel like I’m not cut out…that I can be part of that world too. And it could help you make new memories of it, with me. But it’s probably stupid…”
— “It’s not stupid at all, Toby,” Adil retorted, stroking his hair. “I think that could be a good idea.”
— “Really?”
— “Yes, really.”
Toby bit his lip, visibly wondering whether or not he could push his luck. His expression was so adorable Adil had the fight the urge to kiss him. It was so good to feel that natural impulse again without anything to mar it.
— “Could you…say something now?” Toby finally asked.
Adil chuckled at his impatient curiosity.
— “Well let me think…” he answered, earning a grateful smile that made his heart skip a beat.
He searched his memories for the tenderest words he could recall in the cant. They came to him more easily than he would have thought.
— “Bona to vada your dolly eek,” he whispered close to Toby’s ear.
Toby giggled, but Adil could tell he was also slightly turned on.
— “What did you say? What does it mean?”
— “I said it’s nice to see your pretty face,” Adil answered.
Toby blushed.
— “You did?”
— “Yes.”
— “That’s nice,” Toby commented softly, raising a hand to stroke Adil’s cheek. “Your face is very pretty too, you know…”
His answer surprised Adil: he would have expected Toby to deflect and reply with something like “Your face is much prettier than mine”. The surprise was a pleasant one, though.
— “Why, thank you,” he murmured.
— “So how do I say that in Polari? ‘Your face is very pretty’?”
— “’Your eek is very dolly’”, Adil answered.
Toby repeated the words after him and chuckled again.
— “It sounds so strange,” he said. “Can you say something else?”
Adil didn’t reply right away. Instead, he started running his fingers through Toby’s curls, gently helping them escape the confines of the pomade.
— “I love to run my luppers through your riah,” he commented softly.
— “You love to run your fingers through my hair?” Toby guessed.
— “Very good, Mr Hamilton,” Adil praised.
Toby grinned his wonderful toothy grin.
— “Is there a word for ‘kiss’?”
— “If there is one, I don’t know it,” Adil confessed. “I told you. It’s not a very romantic language…”
— “Then,” Toby breathed, “how about the word for ‘gorgeous’?”
— “’Fortuni’”, Adil replied softly.
— “And ‘man’?”
— “Omi.”
— “Well, I find you a very fortuni omi, Mr Joshi.”
— “Thank you,” Adil replied, depositing a gentle kiss on Toby’s lips.
One kiss soon turned into two. Then three. Then four…
Toby let out a little moan and the familiar heat of arousal started spreading in Adil’s body.
— “Would you like to arva* with me?” He whispered.
— “Yes,” Toby answered eagerly.
Adil laughed.
— “You don’t even know what that means!”
— “Don’t care,” Toby breathed. “As long as it’s with you, I’m in!”
***
Adil’s fingers were drawing arabesques on Toby’s naked back as they lay side by side on the bed, happy and sated.
It had been some time since he had last truly enjoyed their moments after without any parasite thoughts. Toby looked different too, he noticed, fully relaxed and radiating sensual confidence, resting on his stomach next to him. He was so beautiful that Adil’s breath caught in his throat.
— “So…you really didn’t enjoy kissing St-John then?” He asked after a while.
It wasn’t worry or jealousy anymore; just genuine curiosity.
Toby rolled over to look at him and seemed to understand.
— “I didn’t not enjoy it,” he replied truthfully. “It was a perfectly nice kiss, just…not like yours.”
— “Do you mean to imply that mine are not nice?” Adil retorted, pretending to look offended.
— “No,” Toby replied very seriously. “They’re not nice. They’re exceptional.”
— “Ha, who is exaggerating now?” Adil laughed.
— “I’m not exaggerating,” Toby said. “Just stating a fact. They’re exceptional to me because you’re my person. You’re the only one for me.”
He meant it. And he had no doubt that Alistair’s kisses would feel exceptional to the man who would truly love him and be loved by him in return in the future. That was what Alistair deserved.
— “You’re the only one for me, too,” Adil murmured, and his eyes were shining with so much love and emotion that Toby thought his heart was going to burst in his chest.
They giggled, suddenly made giddy by that unshakeable certainty that defied all reason, and had triumphed over every foolish, hurtful attempt they had made at ignoring it.
— “You want the truth about Alistair, though?” Toby smirked, feeling mischievous.
— “Yes?”
— “Too tall,” Toby declared teasingly. “The angle was all wrong. Seriously, how do you manage not to get a crick in the neck with all the kissing that we do?”
— “Hush,” Adil replied, giving him a playful tap on the fingers. “You’re not that tall…and I’m not that short either!”
— “Not everywhere, you’re not,” Toby approved, eyes meaningfully drifting towards Adil’s crotch.
— “Toby Hamilton!” Adil exclaimed. “What’s gotten into you? Oh, no, don’t you dare answer that!”
Toby’s laugh made the whole room seem brighter, and Adil heard himself laugh along as a feeling of pure bliss expanded in his chest.
He knew this feeling would not last forever. Maybe not even for very long. But he knew that whenever it would stop, he wouldn’t have to face it alone.
***
— “I think I want to go back to Oxford, after the war.”
Toby was in his armchair, slowly dragging on a cigarette, while Adil was sitting on a cushion on the floor, back resting against Toby’s legs, reading the newspaper. The position was a bit odd, but it had the double advantage of sparing Adil the cloud of tobacco smoke floating around Toby’s head and allowing him to enjoy the feeling of his lover’s fingers softly running through his hair. Toby had insisted on the cushion, even though the thick carpet that covered the room floor was soft enough in Adil’s opinion. He had relented, though, and gently told Toby to stop fussing after he had asked him several times if he really was comfortable.
— “I can’t say that I’m surprised,” he replied, putting the paper down and looking up at Toby.
— “I know we don’t even know when it will be possible, or what will happen before then…but I was wondering…would you ever consider leaving London to move there…with me?”
— “Well…if I could find a job that I like and decent lodgings there…of course I’d rather go with you than stay here on my own,” Adil answered carefully.
Although his heart was telling him he would leave everything at the drop of a hat for Toby, his reason was reminding him that he had to think about the situation from a more pragmatic perspective. What good would it do to him and his relationship with Toby if he was financially unstable, lost and unhappy in a new city?
— “That’s wonderful…” Toby breathed, “but I meant…move in with me.”
— “Move in with you? Share a flat with you?”
— “Yes,” Toby exhaled.
Adil felt that he had been waiting to ask him that for quite some time.
— “I don’t even want to wait until the end of the war,” his lover went on. “I don’t want to wait for Oxford. I want to move out of the hotel and find a place here in London. A place for both of us.”
— “Toby, that’s mad,” Adil exclaimed. “As much as I would love that, you know we can’t…”
— “You would love that?” Toby repeated, eyes and voice full of hope. “Really?”
— “Of course, I would, but that’s impossible…how could we do that and not attract attention and raise suspicion?”
— “We’ll find a way!” Toby replied ardently. “Adil, I’m sure we can! We’ll think of something. We could pretend that you also want to move and that with lodgings being so hard to come by and expensive since the Blitz, it makes sense to share, and since we already know each other…we could say I let you pay a lower rent in return for some housework because I can’t handle that on my own…Whatever stupid excuse we can find. Whatever people need to hear to leave us alone. We can make it work! Maybe not right away…but whether it’s in a few months or a year…or even more…whether it’s here or in Oxford…we’ll make it work!”
Toby’s animated face, his eyes shining with passion and his hands moving through the air like birds set free of their cage gave even more power to his words.
It always amazed Adil how much of an idealist Toby actually was, underneath his cynical and prickly exterior.
— “If you say we will, love,” he said, “then I believe we will.”
Toby leaned over and kissed him, and it was so impetuous and intense that in spite of their awkward posture, Adil felt like all his senses had been heightened and his heart was soaring in his chest.
They were both quite flushed by the time the kiss was over.
— “Well that was…unexpected,” Adil commented with a sly smile.
— “But nice?”
— “Very nice indeed.”
— “Do you like cats?”
Adil chuckled.
— “Yes, Toby, I do like cats.”
— “Then maybe we could adopt one when we have our flat?”
Adil laughed, shaking his head fondly.
— “Right, so a flat together, a cat…any other projects you’d like to tell me about?”
— “I’d like to learn piano.”
Adil stopped laughing. Toby had told him how much he would have liked to learn to play the instrument as a child, and how his father had refused, saying it was too feminine, and how brutal he got whenever he caught Toby touching or even wistfully looking at a piano. Adil’s heart had bled for him, as it always did when the full extent of the late Lord Hamilton’s cruelty was revealed. He had also encouraged his lover to try and learn now; but Toby had always brushed it off, saying he was too old, that it was too late, that there was no point, that he didn’t have the time. Adil didn’t know what had made him change his mind, though he had a good idea of whom. He didn’t ask. He couldn’t help feeling a little twinge of hurt and vexation; but he knew it didn’t really matter. St-John’s influence on Toby couldn’t be denied, and it seemed that, in some areas, it had been greater than his; but Adil was the one by his side right now. He was the one Toby had chosen. Part of him still resented St-John for what he had put him through; part of him feared the man would not want to go down without a fight and would find a way to retaliate. But most of the time these days, he only felt compassion for him. He knew what love and rejection felt like. He knew what being in love with and rejected by Toby felt like. And he genuinely hoped St-John would get over it one day and find his own happiness. As much as his presence in their lives had made Adil suffer, the man had also been good to Toby, and for that reason alone, Adil couldn’t possibly wish him harm.
— “I think it’s a wonderful idea,” he answered softly.
— “I know I probably won’t be any good at it now…and I won’t have much time to practice, but I want to try. Maybe I could find someone to teach me the basics, perhaps one or two hours on week-ends?”
Adil thought that over. What Toby would need was a kind, patient teacher who would do everything they could to encourage him and put him at ease…
An idea crossed his mind and he smiled.
— “You know,” he said, “I may know just the right person for that.”
He was going to talk to Sonny that very evening.
***
The letter came about three weeks later. Toby’s fingers froze on the envelope when he recognized the handwriting.
Alistair.
He felt his breathing getting faster and shallower. He couldn’t help the sense of dread that crept down his spine. The last time he had received a letter from a man he had rejected, it had been a suicide note.
It’s not the same. Alistair is not Adil. And the circumstances are entirely different. Alistair told you he would be fine. It’s only a letter. Get a grip!
He took a few deep breaths and managed to calm himself down, feeling stupid for panicking like that.
He resisted the urge to peruse the contents right then and there. He wanted to open it in Adil’s presence. No more ambiguities. No more secrets. He wouldn’t read anything out loud unless it was absolutely necessary; that would be disloyal to Alistair. But if the letter contained anything inappropriate, he would burn it immediately.
He managed to supress his curiosity and lingering worry for a couple of hours until the end of Adil’s morning shift.
When he showed his lover the letter, he saw his expression darken slightly. He knew that as much as Toby had assured him they could trust Alistair as much as they did Sonny and Betsey, there was still a lingering fear at the back of his mind that the man would find some way to get back at them. At him. Toby took his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.
— “It’s alright,” he said. “You have nothing to fear.”
Adil looked up at him and smiled.
— “I know,” he replied.
Toby let go of his hand to unfold the letter, but took it right back and held it tight as he started perusing the contents.
When he had finally read the text through, though, he was puzzled. Alistair’s missive was entirely devoid of any allusion to their last meeting, and felt totally meaningless, almost nonsensical at times.
— “I don’t understand,” he commented, frowning.
— “What’s wrong?” Adil asked, concerned.
— “This doesn’t make any sense. It’s completely impersonal, like he is just talking about the weather…it could be addressed to anyone…why would he send me something like that now?”
— “Oh? Well maybe he wanted to get back in touch with you but didn’t want to risk mentioning anything sensitive…” Adil commented. “After all, it’s been less than a month. And it’s not as though he could really talk about personal matters. The letter could fall into the wrong hands and…”
— “Of course!” Toby exclaimed, interrupting him. “I’m so stupid!”
— “What?”
— “It’s encrypted! He wrote me a coded letter!”
He hastily sat down at his desk and took a pen and paper. Adil sat on a stool next to him, silently watching as Toby started working.
It took him about fifteen minutes to find the key, and several more to write down the deciphered text on another piece of paper.
He smiled, recognizing the slightly altered sentence from The Hobbit:
‘If more of us valued love above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.’
My dearest Toby,
I hope this letter will find you and your loved ones well.
I trust I’m not being impertinent in reaching out to you again so soon, since you generously told me that you wished we could remain friends in spite of what occurred between us.
I have been offered a job – one I’m afraid I cannot disclose anything about, even in an encrypted letter. Since this occupation is entirely incompatible with a private life, I think it will help me move forward and keep my mind sufficiently occupied.
My cats and I will be moving to another location in a few days.
I am keeping my lodgings in Oxford, however, with special instructions for the housekeeper to make the flat available on short notice for any of my acquaintances who would want to use it.
If you and A. ever need a safe haven, know that my door will always be open.
Please tell Mr A.J. that I sincerely apologize for any pain my behaviour towards you might have caused him.
I hope one day all three of us can meet in good intelligence and friendship.
Algernon and Jack send their love, and so do I.
Your devoted friend,
Alistair
Toby’s eyes were misty with tears by the time he had finished reading the letter.
Adil wrapped his arms around his waist.
— “Are you alright?” He murmured.
Toby just started reading again, out loud this time. He felt that it was exactly what Alistair had intended.
— “He really is an amazing man,” Adil murmured when he was done, sounding deeply moved himself.
— “Yes,” Toby croaked, voice hoarse with emotion. “What on earth did I do to deserve you both?”
— “I told you, Love,” Adil replied softly. “Being Toby Hamilton is something pretty special.”
— “I should really start believing that, shouldn’t I?” Toby said with a teary little chuckle.
— “Yes,” Adil assented, nuzzling the hair at the nape of his neck. “You really should.”