Work Text:
if I left, would you notice
Sometimes, everything was okay.
On most days, Jaune would be close to her the whole day. Just within arm's reach, he was always by her side, ready to offer her a smile or crack a silly joke. His words always knew exactly how to get to her heart, no matter how many masks she wore- no matter how much she just wanted him to know.
I love you.
She couldn't say it.
She knew she should just let it out. He knew that something was going on, after all- Nora had reported to her all of the times he had spoken to Ren about how she acted around him. Jaune was dense, but clearly not dense enough to ignore her heartache.
Instead of letting out the words that wanted to spill forth constantly from her lips, she just… didn't say anything. Her mind played through scenarios of confessions lost and confessions failed and confessions ignored, and gods, she didn't know which one would be the worst. What was wrong with just taking it day by day? What was wrong with just working on herself until (maybe) one day she felt confident enough to say something?
She wouldn't ever say anything.
I will say something.
(She wouldn't.)
She just wanted to no longer have to wonder what it would be like to be closer- they were already just one bed away, a few steps between their duvets, their pillows so close that she could see blond hair reflecting the streetlight outside their window all night- but it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough. She just wanted to know what it would be like for him to actually see her.
She just wanted him.
And then, other days, she just wanted to leave Beacon. Maybe then, she wouldn't have to deal with the fact that Jaune never seemed to really register that she was even there.
If she did leave… would he even notice?
She didn't know. But if she did give in to her heart's wildest desires, and if she just left Beacon behind- if she said nothing to anyone and just disappeared, changing everything about herself… would he recognize her if they crossed paths again in the future? Would he see her eyes and immediately think of the redhead who was once by his side, forever and always?
Not forever. You can't stay with him forever.
She wanted to.
She couldn't leave him.
Nothing lasts forever.
Would he leave her?
…maybe.
Would he even remember her name?
...
I love you.
So she said nothing.