Chapter Text
Three days later, they all traveled back to Skyhold on horseback. Rushing out of Skyhold so quickly they did not even think to bring a horse for Iona. Cullen did not seem to mind sharing his sturdy warhorse. As they made their journey, she told them everything that had happen since she entered the Fade. Absorbed in her tale no one piped in with questions. Her body tensed when she described climbing out of the Deep Roads.
Cullen’s arms tightened around her, holding her protectively. All the years she had fought on her own not needing anyone to shield or protect it her. She felt the pressure of his lips against the back of her head. Enjoying the security she felt and had grown to rely upon. “Why couldn’t I sense you in the Fade once you returned?” Feynriel asked sensing the need to divert the conversation.
“I rarely slept at all. When I did it was only for minutes at a time.” She explained looking her companions over. Each seemed deep in thought as they considered her account.
“You actually saw Wynne in the Fade?” Oghren questioned his face somber. When they learned of her death, it hit them both hard.
“Honestly, I still don’t know. It looked like her. She…it...saved me. I want to believe it was her.” Tears welled in her eyes with gratitude.
“A great dragon…how will we ever find one?” Callis probed tugging on the reins.
“The answers are out there. The better question is how to obtain its blood without depleting the source. We cannot cure all Wardens we still need them for future blights. My opinion that we use the cure only on Wardens who begin to hear the calling. Regardless we must return to Weisshaupt with this information.” She reasoned spotting a small fortress in the distance.
“We have an agent in the Inquisition who might be able to help. Frederic of Serault, he is a professor of draconology.” Cullen offered steering his horse around a fallen tree. “Let’s get you settled first. Everyone at Skyhold will want to meet you. And it’s already been a long day’s ride.”
“Do you mind not mentioning the cure?” She lowered her voice directing her question at Cullen. A plume of dust on the road growing closer moved toward their direction.
“Understandable, I need to tell you something before we get to Skyhold…” Cullen answered cut off as two riders reared up in front of them.
“Commander, the Inquisitor sent us out to greet you and escort you to Skyhold.” An anxious looking soldier announced eyes darting around. She felt Cullen sigh heavily against her back.
“Perfect timing as usual Rylen. Any news to report?” Cullen asked his tone curt. She paid no attention to the soldier’s nervous details impressed with the looming castle. Skyhold nestled high in the mountains appearing to float in the clouds. Several turrets borders the walls the only entrance a single stone bridge. A large excited crowd gathered in the courtyard to greet them.
Cullen helped her dismount as if she was precious cargo. Normally the appearance of needing anyone’s help especially in public would have annoyed her. Instead, she smiled gratefully as he lowered her to the ground. Looking around the mass of people, she spied Leliana weaving her way through the crowd.
They embraced fiercely as old friends. She nodded shyly to the pressing crowd as Leliana directed her to throne room. Large braziers lined the room added light along with the tall glass windows highlighting an opulent throne. Leliana handled the introductions as she shook hands with names she remembered from Cullen's late night accounts.
A striking young elvish woman rose from the impressive throne to greet her. Dark hair styled back in intricate braids to reveal a lovely face. She noticed the woman’s dark eyes look her over. Her figure slight and angular outlined in tight leathers. Cullen stepped up beside her his arm encircling her waist to present her.
“Inquisitor Lavellan may I introduce Iona Amell,” Cullen declared his eyes darting from her face to Ellana’s.
“We are all overjoyed to have you here among us. It is a pleasure to meet a woman of your renown. Please you must allow us to host a party in your honor,” Ellana’s voice rose resounding in the huge hall.
“The honor would be mine, I thank you,” Iona declared inclining her head in acceptance. She noticed the Inquisitor’s spine straighten as Cullen offered his arm to lead her away. No longer limping, her leg still pained her though she was healing quickly. Her strength still recovering, she felt the strong desire to rest.
As if reading her mind Cullen guided her to a small neatly furnished room. Drowsy she kicked off her boots as he turned the bed down. Leaving her armor beside her bed, she slid under the cool sheets. Her head rested on the pillow as she closed her eyes. Before drifting off to sleep, she felt the briefest touch of lips at her brow.
She awoke to the groan of the door looking over to see Feynriel enter. The spot next to her cold and empty as she sat up stretching slowly. “Cullen sent me to wake you and I wanted to check your bandage.” Feynriel offered setting down the fresh dressing. Looking down she still wore her riding clothes as she moved to the edge of the bed. Lowering her leathers, she exposed the injured thigh.
“The whole keep is making ready for the party tonight.” Feynriel chatted cutting the old bandage then examining the healing laceration. He gently spread fresh ointment before rewrapping her leg.
“I wish they didn’t have to make such a fuss. I hate being the center of attention.” She complained watching him work.
“We rarely get the opportunity to revel and your return is certainly a call for celebration. Do not exert yourself tonight that cut is healing quite nicely. I don’t want you tearing your stitches dancing all night.” Feynriel finished collecting his supplies. She scoffed imagining herself dancing. “Leliana is waiting for you in the throne room.”
She redressed, finger combing her hair deciding to leave her armor. Taking her time, she made her way to the throne room. Looking over the defenses and the improvements made. Leliana’s face lit up as she approached clasping both her hands in hers. “It’s been too long Iona. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you.” Leliana glee was evident in her tight grip. “What are you wearing tonight?”
“Uh…my armor I suppose.” Leliana’s face fell looking her over.
“That simply will not do. You must allow me to make you over.” Leliana face glowed with possibilities while measuring her figure with curious eyes.
“Good Morning Ladies. I am glad I ran into you. Iona would you join me for breakfast?” The Inquisitor asked with a tight smile, which never reached her eyes.
“Certainly,” She answered moving to follow the Inquisitor. Not before catching the worried expression on Leliana’s face.
“Come to my room after you are done,” Leliana called out as they departed. “I must pry Josephine’s away from the planning to help,” She mumbled to herself quickly walking away.
Following the Inquisitor to her private chambers, she noticed a table set with various foods. The Inquisitor beckoned her to sit while pouring fresh juice for her. Restraining herself, she served a moderate portion catching the elvish woman observing her again. She was used to it, the way people looked at her.
“Galdrin tells me you met Mythal. I met her once myself. Quite a shock to meet a goddess everyone perceives as history.” Ellana nibbled at a piece of fruit daintily.
“Yes, I knew her better as Flemeth. She saved me twice now but now I wonder to what end. I imagine we are all pieces in her game. She is far from finished exacting her revenge,” She warned, it troubled her picturing what she may have set into motion releasing her from that Eluvian.
“Where will you be going next?” Ellana probed as she scrutinized her guest.
“I must report back to the First Warden in Weisshaupt,” She disclosed wiping her mouth sitting up straighter in her cushioned chair.
“Leaving so soon…my Commander will at least be able to focus once again,” Ellana conceded sullenly taking a long drink of her tea. Her use of “my commander” emphasized as if he was her possession. “All these powerful women in his life. You, Hawke, and now myself or did he fail to mention it?”
Iona inspected her face, brows raised high in question. Jealously all too clear tightening her features. “He did not mention though it would not have mattered. I love him. I have always loved him. We went on with our lives after the Circle. He didn’t ask me about my past since then, I did the same.” She explained seeing the remark did not have the desired reaction.
Ellana struggled to control her emotions but tears watered her eyes. “You must excuse my bringing it up. I have not been myself since…” Choking back her words tears spilled down her cheeks. Reaching out she placed her hand over the Inquisitor’s. Her shoulder shook with emotion as she swallowed hard trying to explain. “I have been trying to piece myself back together. It is a lonely life, as you must know. Then to find someone only to lose them in the end.”
“Solas…” she let his name linger in the air. Cullen had mentioned his name describing the key players in the Inquisition. Galdrin suspected a connection after looking over his abandoned writings. Rumors had reached her crew from their time at Skyhold. An elf returning one day with her vallaslin removed then his sudden unexplained disappearance after defeating Corypheus.
“No explanation, he didn’t even say goodbye.” Ellana sobbed her eyes pained with memories they shared.
“He must have had his reasons. Even leaving the way he did, maybe he had no choice. You will get your answers. It will just take time unfortunately. I waited years, trust me it is worth the wait.” She patted her hand as Ellana used her napkin to wipe the remaining tears. The loud bang startled them both as Cullen staggered into the room.
He panted out of breath looking back and forth at the two women. “I suppose that is my cue. Thank you for breakfast Inquisitor,” Iona thanked crossing the room to be at Cullen’s side.
“Please call me Ellana, all my friends do,” The Inquisitor requested with a melancholy smile. They left her sitting alone staring out at the balcony. Walking in silence, they entered back at the throne room.
“Did you run all this way?” She asked biting back a smile. Sweat beaded his forehead still trying to catch his breath. “Can you show me to Leliana’s room?”
“This way…I had meant to speak with you earlier,” Cullen rubbed at his neck nervously avoiding her eyes.
“Oh…you mean your dalliance with Inquisitor?” She whispered after looking around to see the empty hallway. He inhaled a shocked breath then coughed choking on it. She could not hid her smile any longer she laughed at his puzzled expression.
“You knew?” He asked surprised stopping before a closed door.
“I knew you have a past just like me. Who am I to judge?” She shrugged grabbing his armor to pull him closer. His arms encircled her to hug her tight his body relaxing. “Just to be clear is there anyone else?”
“Just you, only you,” He agreed brushing his lips against hers. As their kiss began to deepen, the closed door swung open to reveal Leliana. They parted reluctantly small grins on their faces. “What is going on in here?”
Several articles of clothing lay strewn about the room. “Leliana says I can’t wear my armor to the party tonight.” She complained allowing Leliana to pull her along into the chaos of her room.
“Quite right. Moreover, you are next Cullen. I already had Josephine bring clothes to your room. Shoo now, you can see her again later tonight,” Leliana ordered rushing him out of the room. She turned with a devious smirk on her face. Hours later after bathing, hair styled, and make-up applied she did not recognize her reflection.
Her dark hair curled into large waves swept to one side. Make-up a new luxury as numerous times she had to stop herself from rubbing at it. The bruise on her face luckily had finally faded. Her grey eyes enhanced by black kohl and highlighted with a silver eye shadow. Lips lightly glossed with a shade of deep pink.
With the help from Leliana and Josephine, she was able to pull the dress over her head. She could not remember the last time she wore a dress. Robes and Grey Warden armor her only issued uniforms. A light purple dress sequined with tiny silver beads spread out on both sides like branches. Sheer sleeves stopped at her wrists. The neckline plunged to almost her midsection though the dress artfully concealed her cleavage.
Leliana attempted to convince her to wear jewelry but the dress was already too much. Silver-heeled sandals crisscrossed to fasten at her ankles completed the look. “You look lovely,” Josephine, sighed admiring their hard work.
They had both dressed in between helping transform her. All three walked the long hallway to the throne room. The room altered as well with long tables and chairs set up on each side. A musician sang at the back of the hall while playing a lute. A loud whistle erupted nearby turning everyone’s attention.
Oghren sat atop the table a pewter mug clutched in one hand. “If I wasn’t buckled in this armor, I’d take you around a corner and well you know…” Oghren bellowed looking her over from his perch. Callis reached over to grasp Oghren’s shoulder shaking his head.
“Will you make sure he behaves himself?” She uttered keeping her voice low.
“I will but even I have to admit you look breathtaking,” Callis smiled toasting her with his own mug. She smiled appreciatively moving away to approach the throne. Ellana sat in her position of power overseeing the festivities. Her own dress though striking much more somber in dark blues lined with gold.
Her shoulders bared looked slightly gaunt as if she was not eating enough. She rose seeing her advance with Leliana and Josephine at her side. She bent to bow as much as the dress would allow. Taking a proffered glass of wine from Leliana. Drinking deep to calm her nerves she noticed all eyes were on her. The Inquisitor taking her hand admired the elven band encircling her ring finger. She introduced her to other strangers some names she recognized.
Finally, familiar faces of Galdrin, Feynriel, and Sigrun stepped forward. Galdrin the first to speak breaking the dazed looks from her companions. “You should wear dresses more often,” Galdrin professed a teasing grin spreading across her face.
“Why do they get to wear their armor?” She muttered to Leliana suddenly feeling naked from the stunned looks of her companions.
“It’s your party and believe me I tried,” Leliana disclosed a look of disapproval at their garb.
“Galen, I haven’t seen him all day. Where is he?” Suddenly aware her shadow had been absent all day.
“He is in good hands. The kennel master and he are fast friends.” Sigrun enlightened suddenly regaining her ability to speak. A soft murmur reached her ear drawing her attention to the parting crowd. Cullen threaded his way through the throng. Looking left then right searching intently among the assembled group.
His waistcoat a dark purple with swirls of silver complimented his complexion. The collar of a white undershirt peeking out beneath the coat. Tight black trousers matched his high-laced boots. His golden curls slightly trimmed as well as his face cleanly shaven revealing his sharp jawline. She had met many a prince yet he looked exactly what every girl must have imagined.
His gazed passed over her then back his eyes widening in amazement. She liked what she saw in his inspection of her appearance. He tread closer slowly his eyes never leaving hers. Pulling her to aside of the smaller group, she watched him swallow roughly. “This is…you are…” He struggled for speech as she put two fingers under his chin to close his mouth.
“Why Mr. Rutherford you stole the words from my own lips,” She teased aware at the mention of lips his gaze shifted to her mouth. Which spread in slow secret smile meant just for him. “You shaved…”
“Leliana insisted, what do you think?” He queried his eyes taking another lingering look.
“She is right as usual. You clean up rather well Commander.” Her hand reaching up to caress that tantalizing scar just above his lip. Remembering where they were she froze noticing the entire room watching them. He caught her distracted gaze turning to look over his shoulder. “We seem to have an interested audience,” She whispered licking her lips nervously.
Not letting go of her hand he attempted to tug her along away from the crowd. “Oh no you don’t. You cannot sneak off until after at least after dinner. Josephine arranged the whole menu and you are the guest of honor.” Leliana stepped over to admonish them in a hushed voice. His fallen expression reflecting her own as Leliana led her to a chair at the center of a long table.
Seated alongside Ellana and Leliana she engaged in light conversion. Several men stopped by eager to bring her a glass of this and that. She accepted graciously but turned down the many offers of a dance. Her head began to fill light noticing the numerous cups before her. Luckily, the food finally arrived starting with a pumpkin soup followed by smoked ham. For desert, a delicious sugar drizzled lemon cake. After her restricted diet, she had to stop herself from licking the plate. Seated across from her and slightly to the right Cullen brooded.
She yearned to feel the touch of his hands along her body. He resisted her advances since she had come back. He reasoned she was still too injured or unwell. She would simply not accept any more protestations tonight. His eyes flitted around the room but always drawn back to her. Drifting to plunging neckline reveling at the pale skin between her breasts. Her face flushing from the dark desire melding in his golden eyes. “Fine, go before you both set the table on fire,” Leliana hissed nodding her head towards Cullen.
Excited smiles spanned their faces as she rose from the table. Taking his arm, he led away from the banquet table. She tried not to notice countless heads turning in their direction tracking their exit. Content to be tucked into his arm with the added assistance able to maintain her grace in heels. He held an unfamiliar door open as she moved to step into the chamber.
Her breath caught staring at the images painted in strikingly familiar style. She turned in slow circles taking in the fresco’s surrounding her. “They look just like the murals I saw in the Black City. Were these here when you found Skyhold?” She questioned noticing an abandoned image stepping closer to study it.
“Actually, this was Solas’s old room. They are all his paintings. I thought you might like to see them since you appreciate art.” He explained watching her brows furrow in confusion.
“This one is unfinished…who was Solas really? How did he join the Inquisition?” She asked reaching out to touch the rough sketch. It appeared to be a giant wolf towering over a downed dragon. A large sword stuck in its back. If Mythal is still alive, could the other elven gods still exist among them as well?
“Like I told you before he just showed up after the explosion at Haven. The Inquisitor cannot stand to set foot in this room after he vanished. Why do you ask?” He stepped up behind her wrapping his arms around her while she tried to complete a train of thought. Shaking her head as if to rouse herself.
“May the dread wolf take you…” She muttered to herself remembering the familiar saying among the clans. “If you ever encounter him again I would be very interested in what he has to say.” Holding unto his arms, she leaned against him rocking slowly to the distant music.
He turned her slowly to face him both his hands met at the small of her back. Pressed close they swayed slowly to the music her arms resting on his arms then moving to encircle his neck. “Every moment in my life has led up to meeting you. I did not think it was possible for me to feel this way. No matter the distance or time between us, it has always been there.” She admitted shyly checking his expression underneath her lashes. A slow sure smile upturned at the side of corner of his mouth.
“I wish I could see myself as only you see me. I have everything I ever wanted right now. In many ways, it is even scarier how much I could stand to lose. But whatever comes, we will face it…together,” Cupping her face he moved his lips closer to meet hers. “Mhh…you taste like lemons,” He grinned licking his lips as she chuckled softly.
“Your room or mine?” She asked her hands running up the rich cloth of his shirt. She stopped herself from tearing him out of his clothes.
“My room has a ladder and with your leg…Are you sure?” She put a single finger to his lips silencing him. No more excuses not when her time so limited, nothing would deter her tonight. She tugged his hand pulling him along to her quarters. Opening the door she stumbled over the silts Leliana called shoes. He caught her deftly then kicked the door closed. Laughing she steadied herself watching as he knelt before her.
He lifted one leg taking care to unfasten the thin strap of her slipper. She swallowed hard her breathing increasing as he took her other foot and repeated the same motion. His hands slipped up inside her dress stroking up and down the length of her legs. As if he could capture the sensation of her skin in his memory.
She gasped as his fingers traveled higher turning her away from him. He stood behind her, felt the release of the small delicate buttons at the back of her dress. The dress fell away to puddle onto the floor. His hands slow but determined explored the rest of her body. A deep throbbing started down low grew increasingly fevered.
The soft touch of his lips along her shoulder as his fingers found that hungry spot. His warm breath tickled her neck, she whimpered slightly pushing against his body. Closing her eyes she gave herself over to his ministrations. She felt the deep spasm as her knees struggled to not buckle under her release. She panted trying to recover then turning to see the outline of him straining against his trousers. She ran two fingers along his thickness teasingly.
Unable to resist she unfastened his pants taking him in her hand. She watched as he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his torso. All muscle and perfect in her eyes, scars included she sighed at his beauty. Swollen and pulsing she stroked him while propelling him towards the bed. “Lay back,” she ordered seeing the unease in his eyes when he sighted her bandage.
Like a solider, he obeyed understanding at once that she would be the one in control. Taking care, she crawled over him sliding above in one swift motion. She held him there, full and taut staring down at him. “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen,” he breathed gazing up, her flushed cheeks.
Her hair falling in soft waves concealing parts of her naked skin. She brought his hands to her firm breasts as she began to move gradually. Her body arched moving in the rhythm of her own desire. Leaning back, she worked herself in small tight circles. Her breath catching as his hands moved to her hips for purchase.
Her hips rose then ground down to meet him. Her increasing but soft moans began to reach an ascent. Laid bare in gentle candlelight illuminating her as she threw her head back in ecstasy. She felt his own release mingled with her own as small jolts of her pleasure shuddered within her. With shaky legs, she collapsed beside him careful not to lie on her wounded side.
Glancing over at his own satiated expression, she wondered if she could ever grow tired of him. She could not imagine a time when she could ever get enough of this man. She imagined him older, annoyed he would undoubtedly grow even more handsome. Her heart ached like an open wound. Easy to inflict pain and yet willingly she invited its sting.
She outlined the cross hatched scar in the valley beneath his collarbone. He stared up at the ceiling regaining his breath but lost in thought. “What are you thinking?” she wondered interested in where his mind could possibly be.
“I was considering the future. I know may be getting ahead of myself but I would be interested in how you feel. For instance where would you like to make a home if you weren’t a Warden?” He asked turning to catch her delighted visage.
“I’ve never thought about it…I suppose I would like to live near water. An ocean or even a lake, somewhere near a forest. I would prefer not live in a city, somewhere secluded. What about you, any ideas?”
“My family lives in South Reach, west of Brecilian Forest. I write to my sister but not as much as I should. I suppose I would want to be close to family later in life. How do you feel about children?” His eyes nervously shifted back to the ceiling.
“Most Wardens can’t have children,” She remembered when she was a child in the hands of the Chantry. Other children picked from childless couples while she watched on dejected. Once she began to demonstrate magic, her chances vanished.
“We could adopt, there are plenty of children who need a good home. It’s something I would like to at least discuss at some point,” He offered finally turning to observe her reaction. She had never indulged in thoughts of having a family or leading an average life. Her life since the Wardens always laid out before her. She could move up the ranks, perish in her pursuits, or finally follow her calling to death.
The notion of caring for a child she turned over in her mind. She knew how eager for love and protection she was as an orphan. Cullen opened a completely new addition to her, a world full possibilities she had never imagined. She found herself thrilled he wanted to plan a future with her. This man admittedly beautiful but damaged, together they could fill in those flawed pieces of one another.
Was she kidding herself, could she really have the life they were trying to create? “Of course we can discuss it. This is all new to me, wanting things for myself outside of the Wardens. What would you be doing while I tend to our pack of unruly children?” She joked curling in closer to his body.
“Pack?! I was thinking one or two but if you insist.” He exclaimed the scar on his lip lifting with his grin. “I have been thinking of starting a clinic to help ex-Templars and lyrium addicts.” He lifted his head up to inspect her bandage. She followed his eyes, no bleeding which was a good sign. If she tore a stitch, Feynriel would give her a stern long-winded lecture.
“Two ex-commanders living in the country surrounded by children. Sounds fantastic. I think I would like to garden, I’ve always enjoyed working with my hands.” She ran one hand up the delicate hairs along his inner thigh. His laugh deeply masculine rumbled from his chest. He tilted his face towards hers to capture her lips.
She did not want to mention her inevitable departure. It would happen as it always did, why ruin this perfect moment. Pushing her fears aside, they stayed up into the night discussing the possibilities. Building a future for both of them to set their hopes on. No matter what might test them they could take comfort in their plans for a life after duty.