Archive of Our Own ^beta

Seonghwa remembered the people who came into his bakery. Or, at the very least, he tried his hardest to. 

He remembered Ms. Lee with her two kids who had a tradition to get cookies after soccer games- coming in grass-stained and red faced. Mr. Kyung who always got a black coffee and a cinnamon roll while he sat and read a newspaper every Wednesday at nine, sharp. 

Taehee, who brought his girlfriend after their highschool got out, and always got them two strawberry cakes and a milkshake to share (Seonghwa might cringe at their young-loveness, but that didn’t stop him from putting an extra cherry on top). 

Ms. Joo, who was in her 80s, but his bakery was one of the only places close enough to her home for her to walk to. She always wanted a glass of lemon water and a sugar-free brownie. She called Seonghwa and the others “sweetie” and “sugar” and was just overall a lovely person to have visit for an hour or so to chat. 

Sooya came in whenever she had a rough break up (which was pretty often), and always wanted a chocolate shake and a triple chocolate pie, and Seonghwa would always put a few extra napkins, because he knew she was going to need to clean up her mascara that was already running. 

The list went on- from the morning rush of people wanting their caffeine and sugar kick, to the afterschool rush of kids and teens needing to balance out their blood sugar, and the final evening flow of people who needed something for a party or to bring home for dessert. 

Seonghwa may not know them all by name, but he recognized their faces and could mostly remember what they usually ordered (except for Goohyun, who always changed his order, just to annoy Seonghwa). 

A few people were only vague memories in his head, and some were almost like friends he only saw in one setting. 

But there was one person who didn’t come everyday, but would usually pop up a few times a week. 

He stood out to Seonghwa almost immediately because he almost had the face of a teenager, but the haggard morning appearance of an old man about to head into the office for a full day of work. 

Except, he always looked like he was just getting off of work. Which was weird, because he always came in pretty soon after they opened, but always coming after that first rush had gone by, usually in those couple of hours where they were pretty dead. 

Seonghwa only knew people’s names because they asked for them, so they could call their orders out when they were ready. So Seonghwa knew his name was Hongjoong. He didn’t know much more than that. 

Hongjoong was always interesting when he came in because, once again, he was like a teenager who was already a decade into the workforce. 

He dressed young- in ripped jeans and leather jackets, with his hair dyed a startling snowy white (which had recently been turned to a gentle, cherry blossom pink that Seonghwa thought suited him very well). 

Hongjoong always entered the shop in the same way- hair disheveled and clothes slightly askew, as if he had been running (which he had been). 

He would run up to the door, outside, and pause to catch his breath for a moment (Seonghwa and Yeosang watching curiously to make sure he didn’t pass out). 

The first time Hongjoong appeared at his bakery, Seonghwa didn’t remember. It must have been a very normal interaction. But he remembered him soon after as the man who sprinted to the door, caught his breath, and then came in with an awkward smile that was genuine as he continued to try and even out his breathing as he greeted them. 

He only carried a laptop bag with him, but it was always open and almost spilling out crumpled papers (a couple of times, Seonghwa had needed to help him gather them when they spilled, which always made the man flush with breathless embarrassment as he practically crammed them back into his bag without a care for if they got crumpled). 

Okay, so maybe Seonghwa found the man incredibly endearing. 

But , regardless of what Yeosang and San like to snicker about behind their hands, Seonghwa did not like him. 

Seonghwa was friendly by nature, and he loved people who would come in and chat and be nice, rather than speaking through caffeine-lacking hazes of demanding coffee with more shots of espresso than Seonghwa could legally give. 

Hongjoong always looked tired- with bags under his eyes and yawns sneaking in as he ordered, leaning against the counter. Despite that, though, he always smiled and thanked them for everything, waving after he left. 

He never sat and ate. He always took his black coffee and pastry to-go, waving and thanking them yet again. 

He was just nice. 

And Seonghwa met a lot of nice people, but most of them were either teenagers or twice his age, and Hongjoong just had the air of a genuinely nice person, even if he did look like he wanted to kill himself when he accidentally asked for a “black carge loffee” one time. 

So, yes, disregarding everything Yeosang ever said, Seonghwa enjoyed it when Hongjoong came in and ordered. 

And that was another thing that always made Hongjoong stand out: He ordered in the same way every time. 

Seonghwa would watch him run up to the door, catch his breath, enter with a smile and a wave. He would walk up to the register that Yeosang manned, and asked Yeosang how his day was going, to which Yeosang responded honestly about whether they had been busy or not. And Hongjoong would smile and make an appropriate comment about it. 

He would then glance at the display cases along the sides of the register, looking hesitant. “You guys wouldn’t happen to have any of the chocolate croissants left, would you?”

To which, Yeosang would always grimace and respond with honest regret that they were out (because they actually did feel bad when nice customers couldn’t get what they wanted to order). 

The chocolate croissants were one of the most popular items among Seonghwa’s store. They didn’t get snatched all at once, but they were pretty quick to go, first thing. Usually, before they’d even run out, Seonghwa would have another batch in the process of baking. 

“The next batch should be out and cooled in about twenty minutes,” Yeosang always told him helpfully. “Would you like to wait?” 

Hongjoong’s face would always fall, and he shook his head. “Sorry, no, I’ve got places to be. Just a cinnamon roll, then, please.” 

They would get his order ready, and Hongjoong would leave with a promise to see them next time, smiling despite his clear disappointment. 

Seonghwa always felt so fucking bad for him. It was clear that whatever work he did was stressful, and Seonghwa couldn’t imagine how crushing it would be to just want a fucking croissant and finding out that they were gone. 

So, today Hongjoong came in, their routine like clockwork (with Seonghwa taking the register because Yeosang was icing a cake in the back with San to prepare for a party’s order that afternoon. 

Hongjoong smiled at him as he came up, still breathing heavily. He glanced at the display cases. 

“No croissants today, either?” he asked, grinning regretfully. 

Seonghwa nodded, wincing. “I’m sorry. The next batch should be out in the next half hour, though.” 

Hongjoong shook his head. “It’s fine. Just a large black coffee and a slice of lemon bar, please.” 

Seonghwa took his money. “Is that why you’re always running here?” he asked, waiting for the payment to go through. “To get here in time for one?” 

Hongjoong chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Seongwha noticed several necklaces hanging against his chest, hidden among his jean jacket. 

“You guys see that?” he asked sheepishly, grinning. Seonghwa smiled, nodding, holding his tongue from saying how endearing it was. “But, I mean, the croissants are that good,” he assured Seonghwa. “I managed to have one the first time I came here after my new job, but I haven’t managed to get another one since.” 

He shrugged good naturedly as Seonghwa went to fill his coffee. 

“New job?” he questioned conversationally over his shoulder, seeing Hongjoong leaning against the counter. “What do you do?” 

“Music production,” he answered, smiling in a way… a way that told Seonghwa that Hongjoong was doing something he loved. 

The smile shone through his eyes in a way Seonghwa hadn’t quite seen yet. 

He smiled back warmly as he capped the paper cup, wiping his hands on his apron as he grabbed the tongs for the baked goods. “Do I know any of your songs?” he asked, feeling his own heart bubble with excitement to match Hongjoong’s. 

“Probably not,” Hongjoong assured him, chuckling warmly. He scrubbed at his eyes. “I mostly write them, sell them to someone who cleans them up, and then that person sells them to the people who make the big names.” 

“For example?” Seonghwa questioned, now genuinely interested if he could have been hearing someone’s passion without even knowing it. 

Hongjoong hesitated- not out of discomfort, it seemed, but like he couldn’t think of one off the top of his head. “Uh… I’ve been mostly in drafting the past few weeks… I think the last one I did was that one by that solo guy? I think they renamed it ‘Horizon’.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes widened, completely forgetting to hand over Hongjoong’s order. “Horizon?” he demanded. “That same one they’re always playing on the pop radios?” 

Hongjoong nodded. “It got pretty popular when it was first released. Sort of a flash in the pan, in terms of longevity, but good enough to keep popping up, you know?”

“That was a great song!” Seonghwa said quickly. “After the sixth time in a row on the radio, I had to change the channel- but listening to it on the way home from work was always great!” 

Hongjoong laughed, bowing his head and shaking it, lifting with shining eyes that overpowered the usual tiredness there. “Thanks, I guess,” he chuckled. “I’m glad you liked it. But the only place my name would show up is on the legal contract. Not really anywhere people would see it. Which is fine, that’s what I signed up for.” 

“You just wanted to be in the background?” Seonghwa asked, startling slightly as he realized he needed to actually give Hongjoong the things he paid for. He handed over the two items, Hongjoong nodded firmly. 

“Yeah. I mean- if you work too far in the public, then everything you make is scrutinized to hell and back.” He made a face. “If you work in the shadows, I can just make what I feel like, and then I sell it to people who change it up a little, polish it to what the public wants, and then sell it off. It’s a good system, for me.” 

Hongjoong had taken his items, but he still leaned on the counter, smiling, flicking his dusted pink hair out of his face. 

“You work nights?” Seonghwa asked when Hongjoong didn’t immediately make an excuse to leave, aware that this was by far the longest conversation they ever had. 

He nodded quickly. “Yeah, I do my best work, then. I work until our morning meetings, and I’m usually running here from there- but the next bus never gets there in time to get me here for a croissant.” 

He sighed exaggeratedly, like nothing had ever hurt him deeper, but it changed quickly to an almost mischievous smile as he cocked his head at Seonghwa. 

“What about you?” he questioned, grinning. “Did you start this place?” 

Seonghwa blanked for a moment as the grin almost made Hongjoong seem impish with sharp eyes and white teeth, but he nodded quickly. 

“Yeah,” he answered levelly. “Had a passion, worked a bunch, finally opened my doors with two of my friends from college.” He jerked his head towards the back. “We’ve been open about five years, and we’re doing okay.” 

Truthfully, Seonghwa could cry thinking about how well they had done- everything feeling like nothing but a stroke of luck that Yeosang assured him was due to Seonghwa working his ass off. 

“The stuff here is amazing,” Hongjoong assured him quickly, shaking his lemon bar pointedly. “I moved from a couple cities over because my label changed, and everyone can only talk about this place when you bring up wanting something sweet.” 

Seonghwa felt a smile take over his lips, excitement in his chest. “Seriously?”

“Absolutely!” Hongjoong assured him. “If I could ever get off work a few minutes earlier, I’d be eating those chocolate croissants every day.” He laughed, teeth flashing as he kept rubbing at his eyes. 

“So, you go home to sleep after you stop by?” Seonghwa inquired, leaning on the counter, too, to rest his back. 

Hongjoong sighed, drawn out as he lowered his head. “I wish,” he huffed. “I get home, and then I start skype calling all the people I need to collaborate with. There’s a lot of people in America, so I have to work by their schedule. Once I’m done with them, then I can sleep,” he chuckled. 

Seonghwa winced. “That sounds like an awful time.” 

Hongjoong shrugged. “I get to sleep until night, and then I just stay up until morning. Now, getting up at 4AM to open a bakery- that sounds like my idea of a bad time.” 

Seonghwa inclined his head. “Touche. I was always a morning person, so it’s not too bad.” 

“Did you go to school for this stuff?” Hongjoong asked, tilting his head. “Because there’s no way stuff this good is just natural talent.” 

Seonghwa didn’t blush easy, but he could feel the way his neck heated at the genuine expression in Hongjoong’s eyes. “Well- I mean, I took classes for it. I just… had a lot of time to practice with it. Got good with it.” 

“No way,” Hongjoong monotoned. “You studied in France, didn’t you?” he demanded. 

Seonghwa laughed, waving a hand- his fingertips just barely brushing Hongjoong’s arm on the counter. “No! I swear, I just worked in my kitchen-” 

“Seonghwa, we need more blue icing-” 

Yeosang froze where he was bursting out of the back kitchen, staring at the two of them leaning against the counter for a moment, looking stunned. 

Seonghwa straightened quickly. “Sorry- Blue icing?” he asked- 

“No!” Yeosang snapped, pointing at him sharply enough that Seonghwa froze before he even moved. Yeosang glared. “Don’t you dare move,” he hissed. “We’ll take care of it. False alarm. Keep doing what you were doing. Don’t move, Seonghwa, or I swear to God-” 

He slammed the door back between them- angry eyes glaring through the glass in warning before disappearing. 

Seonghwa and Hongjoong stood in silence for a good while before Hongjoong laughed awkwardly, making Seonghwa glance at him apologetically. 

“In the fear of getting you in trouble,” Hongjoong said gently as he stood, “I’ve stayed a little too long. I should go, I’ve got meetings-” 

“No, go,” Seonghwa said hurriedly, waving his hands. “Sorry to keep you-” 

“No, it was fine,” Hongjoong said quickly, staring with wide eyes. “No, absolutely- I enjoyed the company. Most of the people I talk to are coworkers, this-” 

Hongjoong stared at him for a moment, glancing around the shop with its warm colors and cozy air. He smiled quietly. 

“This was nice,” he said, smiling gently. “I should stop and chat more often.” 

Seonghwa wasn’t entirely sure what the proper response was, so he just stared as Hongjoong tucked a piece of soft pink hair behind his ear, shouldering his bag firmly. 

“Thanks for the chat,” Hongjoong said, waving as he backed away. “I’ll see you next time.” 

It was said with a smile and wink as he exited, Seonghwa still just staring, hoping he was at least smiling and waving as Hongjoong threw him one last look before walking down the sidewalk. 

Seonghwa felt like someone had melted wax in his stomach. 

The wax shattered under Yeosang’s fist striking his arm unreasonably violently. 

“Ow!”

“When I said don’t move, I didn’t mean to stand like a statue while the man of your dreams walked away!” Yeosang snapped, looking ready to hit him again. “You were laughing! He was practically flirting! And you just let him go- ”

“It’s your fault,” San said with a disapproving glare. “You interrupted them!”

“How was I supposed to know he finally grew a pair to talk to him?” Yeosang demanded, sharp eyes threatening to cut Seonghwa. “You just let him walk away!” 

“He has work,” Seonghwa said, moving away before he could get hit again. “And we weren’t flirting- we were having a normal, adult conversation about where we worked. He’s a music producer.” 

“Knowing where you work is one step towards dating,” San said sagely, nodding. 

“How?” 

“Well, it helps when stalking the person and conveniently being where they are- and that leads to conveniently being able to talk more, and then boom! ” He clapped his hands together loudly. “Wedding bells.” 

Seonghwa stared at him flatly until San huffed and turned away, affronted by the lack of appreciation. 

“I’m not going to marry him,” Seonghwa huffed. “He’s a nice customer. We all chat with customers- it’s literally our jobs.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t find any of them attractive,” Yeosang said, staring at Seonghwa and daring him to deny it. “Do you?”

“Yes, I’ll admit he’s attractive,” Seonghwa said firmly. “But you find lots of people attractive, too! What about that one guy who comes in that works at the library? You were gushing over his hair and jacket!” 

“Yeah, but Yeosang doesn’t count because he’s already committed,” San pointed out, glancing over his shoulder where he cleaned the machine. “And, he was freaking out about the man’s hair and jacket because he then bought Wooyoung the exact same jacket and hair dye for his birthday.” 

Seonghwa whipped around to Yeosang. “You never told me that.” 

Now, it was Yeosang’s turn to look sheepish, not meeting Seonghwa’s eyes. “It wasn’t important. I just figured they’d look good on him.” 

“Dude, you got dicked so hard.” 

“San!” Seonghwa scolded, whipping around and slapping him upside the head. “Watch your fucking language at work!” 

“Anyway!” Yeosang coughed, looking eager to move on. “The point is, I can appreciate because I’ve already got a commitment. You, on the other hand, are free game. A poor, lonely gazelle in need of a mate. A seahorse with no male to carry their babies-” 

“Okay, I’m actually going to be the one who stops you there before we go somewhere I don’t want to,” San said, looking queasy. “That’s a nasty image.” 

“ The point is !” Yeosang burst firmly, glaring once more. “Is that Hongjoong is also very clearly thinking you’re hot, so you need to up your game and make him feel special so he knows he’s not just a customer.” 

“He is just a customer!” 

“But your job is to not keep him as that! Make him your man! Sweep him off his feet! Paint his face on a cake!”

“No.” 

“I’m taking your ‘no’ to mean ‘I’ll be sure to talk more intimately the next time we meet,’” Yeosang said, turning and straightening the napkins. “Now, we’re out of blue icing. I’ll even be so kind as to help you think of some appropriate topics of conversation.” 

Seonghwa was prepared to wring Yeosang’s neck with a pie server (he’d make it work) but then Ms. Nara came in with three of her children, and they were all distracted. 

Seonghwa sort of forgot about it all. Which was a dangerous mistake. 

~~~~~~~~

Hongjoong came in without warning the next day- making it the first time Seonghwa could remember seeing him two days in a row. 

“He’s here!” Yeosang hissed, shaking Seonghwa violently, eyes wide. “He’s never come back to fast- make your move! He’s attracted! Like a bee with pheromones, Seonghwa!”

San grabbed Yeosang- dragging him through the kitchen door with a grin. “We’ll give you space,” he snickered as they disappeared as Hongjoong entered. 

“Guys!” Seonghwa hissed, glaring, fists clenched. 

He turned quickly, finding Hongjoong standing at the counter, smiling awkwardly after his show of rage. 

Seonghwa’s anger melted as he stepped up to the counter quickly, going back to service mode. “Sorry about that,” he coughed, face burning a little. “What can I get for you?”

“Just a large coffee,” Hongjoong said, glancing down at his phone where a notification stood as he frowned. 

“Sure thing. A pastry for you? No croissants again, I’m sorry-” 

“No, that’s fine,” Hongjoong said quickly, still frowning at his phone and opening it, frowning deeper at some list. “I… Um…” 

He trailed off, Seonghwa waiting with his fingers hovering over the button. “Are you alright?” he questioned slowly when Hongjoong was still staring. 

“... Yeah,” he said slowly, looking up. “What day is it?”

Seonghwa was wondering if lack of sleep was messing with him. “Friday.” 

“The date.” 

“The 15th.” 

Hongjoong’s eyes widened as he glanced down at the list, one hand clasping over his mouth. 

“Shit!” he cursed, slapping his own forehead, practically stumbling away from the counter. “Shit- I’m sorry, I- I have to go, I have a meeting- Fuck, sorry- Shit!” 

“It’s al-” 

The door shut as Hongjoong ran off, faster than he had ever run to the bakery. 

Seonghwa stood, trying not to let the hasty exit smart. It was clear something important was happening. 

San’s head poked out. “What just happened?” he asked, frowning at the clear lack of Hongjoong. 

Seonghwa stared at the half-finished order on the screen. “I’m… not sure.” 

The next time Seonghwa saw Hongjoong was the middle of the following week. Shockingly, there was no running to the shop. In fact, Hongjoong walked up looking a lot worse than Seonghwa remembered- without any sort of bag. 

Seonghwa frowned in gentle concern as Hongjoong entered, walking to the counter briskly. There was a valiant attempt at a smile, but it was strained. 

“Hi,” he greeted quickly. “Uh, I actually had a mobile order- already paid for.” 

Seonghwa glanced at the back counter and saw a carrier with three large coffees in it. “Order number 243?” Hongjoong nodded, and Seonghwa retrieved it. “Doing a coffee run for the office?” he joked, hoping it cheer Hongjoong up. 

Hongjoong shook his head as he took it. “Nope, all for me.” He grimaced. “I’ve hit a few roadblocks… and I’m trying to work around them.” 

One more painful smile, and Hongjoong was walking away before Seonghwa could think of an appropriate response of regret. 

“Sorry, I’m in a bit of a rush,” he called over his shoulder, looking truly apologetic. “Thank you!”

“Have a nice day,” Seonghwa called uselessly as Hongjoong rushed out of the building, three coffees in hand. 

And he genuinely hoped it was a nice day for him. 

~~~~~~~~

Seonghwa stared at the batch of chocolate croissants he had out, moments before they opened. 

He stared harder, even as Yeosang asked him if he wanted to get started on the blueberry scones. 

~~~~~~~~

The next time Hongjoong came in, he looked tired, but not quite so ragged as the previous couple of times. 

Seonghwa greeted him- Yeosang and San looking up and immediately making themselves scarce before Seonghwa could snap at them to stay fucking put. Both of them smiled at each other- Hongjoong leaning on the counter as soon as he reached it. 

“I’m really sorry about the past couple of times I came in here,” Hongjoong opened before anything else. “I missed a really important meeting because I got the days mixed up, and I’ve been spending the past week trying to salvage my reputation with them and make something that’ll convince them to keep me as a client, and they gave me a really short fucking deadline that no person could possibly ever meet-” 

“Hey, I understand,” Seonghwa broke in gently as Hongjoong looked like he might be working himself up as he listed all the stresses from his week. “I knew something must have come up. Did it all work out?”

Hongjoong nodded stiffly, swallowing hard. “They were impressed with my work and decided to keep our original contract, thank God.” He slumped his head forward, letting it hit the counter. 

The pink was more washed-out now, making it look more as if someone had put something red in with the white batch of laundry. 

“I’m really glad,” Seonghwa tried to say as earnestly as possible. He leaned against the counter, too. “Need a pick me up?” 

Hongjoong nodded against the counter, tilting his head to speak out from his arms. “A medium coffee-” 

“Only medium?” Seonghwa chuckled. 

“It’s my fourth today,” Hongjoong informed him tiredly, rubbing at his eyes. “I think my heart will give out if I do much more.” 

Seonghwa honest to God could not tell if Hongjoong was serious or not, so he simply laughed and told him to go on. 

“That’s it,” Hongjoong assured him, fishing out his wallet. 

Seonghwa tilted his head. “No sweets?”

“Nah, not really in the mood.” 

“Could I interest you in a chocolate croissant?” Seonghwa said, hiding a smile. “They’re very popular.” 

Hongjoong’s head snapped up from his wallet, mouth dropping. “There’s some left?”

“Just one,” Seonghwa said, gesturing to the back counter where one stood, wrapped up. “I decided to set one aside for you, just in case.” 

Hongjoong stared, looking dumbstruck as he glanced between it and Seonghwa as Seonghwa retrieved it. “You… You set it aside… for me?” he asked numbly. “What about selling it? What if I didn’t come in?” 

“I can still sell it until this evening,” Seonghwa assured him. “And it would get sold- they’re popular. But, just in case, I set it aside in case you came in and wanted it. Since you miss is everytime...” 

He held it out to Hongjoong, smiling. 

Hongjoong stared between Seonghwa and the paper, mouth agape and breathless. “I- I don’t- I don’t know… what…to say...” 

Seonghwa’s smile grew warmer as Hongjoong tried to articulate. 

And then Hongjoong blinked and was suddenly crying, and Seonghwa’s stomach dropped. 

The paper was set quickly on the counter. “Oh my God, are you okay-” 

“I’m fine!” Hongjoong burst weakly, throat thick, quickly scrubbing at his eyes as his voice wavered. “I-I’m fine- It’s nothing, I’m just- just- It’s been a long week, okay?” he said roughly, a quiet sob working its way in. “A- A rough week, and t-this is probbaly the nicest thing anyone has fucking d-done for me-” 

Seonghwa blanked for a moment, forgetting every nice thing he had ever done to ever comfort anyone, simply standing there with his hands outstretched, like he might catch Hongjoong’s tears or something as Hongjoong cursed under his breath like quietly having his breaths catch in quiet sobs- 

Okay. Here was where Seonghwa faced a dilemma. Because here is where the line of customer and friend blurred. 

Seonghwa could not just touch a customer’s hand or go around and hug them to quiet their sobs. 

However, he had no problem doing so for a friend. 

But really… the sight of Hongjoong crying out of stress and having a simple good deed done for him was a little heartbreaking. 

So Seonghwa reached out slowly and touched Hongjoong’s arm gently- just his fingertips resting against the rough jean of his sleeve. Hongjoong lowered the arm, exposing his red, blotchy face and tear streaks. 

“I know- I-I’m sorry,” he stammered, sucking in a hard breath and rubbing at his eyes with his fingers. “You’re really fucking n-nice-” 

(For the first time, Seonghwa noticed his pinky finger painted a pale, pearly pink.) 

“It’s fine,” Seonghwa said, actually finding himself smiling as it became more obvious there was no sadness in those tears. “But… do you have a few minutes? Maybe you could sit and calm down a bit before leaving?” he offered gently. 

Hongjoong hiccuped quietly, lowering his arm and digging his phone out, glancing at the clock. “Y-Yeah, I could spare a few min-minutes…” 

His lip trembled, making Seonghwa nearly fucking cry himself, but he held it together as Hongjoong seemed to be struggling to stop himself from crying- most likely a release of a lot more than just a bad week. 

Seonghwa was suddenly really fucking glad he saved that croissant. 

“Find a seat you like, and I’ll bring out your coffee,” he said gently, smiling as Hongjoong nodded. 

Seonghwa retrieved his coffee, extra napkins, and the croissant, placing them on the little aesthetic trays they had, and carried them out from around the counter. 

(He definitely saw Yeosang and San pressed to the kitchen door window like children at a toy shop.) 

Hongjoong was breathing evenly, staring up and wiping at his damp cheeks, but he seemed to have stopped actively crying. He had chosen a spot by the window meant for two, a little rose sitting in a vase in the middle as the window showed them people passing by. 

Seonghwa set the tray down on the table, listening to Hongjoong’s shaky ‘thank you,’ but he hesitated for a moment. 

His eyes flickered to the counter, knowing that he should probably leave Hongjoong’s space and return to his own… That was the proper thing- 

Yeosang’s face in the window glared, drawing his finger across his throat in a threat as he pointed sharply to the chair across from Hongjoong. 

Seonghwa glared back, but cleared his throat, glancing down. “Do you… want company?” he asked as evenly as possible. “Or would you rather have some time to yourself?” 

Hongjoong looked startled yet again, and Seonghwa sincerely hoped he didn’t cry again because he hated when pretty people (okay, really anyone ) cried. 

The tears clinging to his lashes gave Hongjoong an almost childish appearance, making his eyes almost sparkle as he stared at Seonghwa. 

And then he laughed weakly, wiping at his cheek. “I get to spend 20 hours out of my day with only time to myself,” he managed, voice still shaking with the urge to cry again. “If- I mean, if you have the time, I’d love some company…” 

Hongjoong glanced at the very obviously empty counter. 

Seonghwa smiled as he sat carefully. “Yeosang and San can handle it if someone comes in,” he assured him. “I’m just there to make sure they don’t eat too many sweets by themselves.” 

Hongjoong laughed wetly, taking a quiet sip of coffee, looking calmer. “I’ve been wondering about that,” he chuckled wetly, clearly trying to distract himself. “How do three people who work at one of the best bakeries in the world stay so damn skinny?” He stared pointedly at Seonghwa, as if demanding to know a secret. 

Seonghwa laughed- a little harder than probably reasonable, but it was so funny to hear it phrased that way. 

“Well, San is a workout fiend,” Seonghwa informed him. “Him and another friend of ours- Jongho- do workouts that made me feel faint just hearing about them.” 

Hongjoong wrinkled his nose. “Physical exertion… Nasty,” he said, shaking his head. He wiped at his eyes gently with a napkin.

“I agree,” Seonghwa assured him, chuckling when Hongjoong smiled. “Anyway, but Yeosang eats nothing but sweets and fried chicken, and he’s never gained a pound. It pisses his boyfriend off to no end, but I’ve never seen Yeosang do so much as a brisk jog, so I guess he’s just blessed with genetics.” 

It truly was infuriating. Namely because Yeosang seemed to be unaware of the fact he could do that.

 (However, it did help with the business of teenage girls who liked to come and order something, just to stare at Yeosang all day. Unluckily for them, Yeosang often just sat in the back, so it was a useless endeavor. (Not the mention the heartbreak that might occur when the found out he was both gay and in a relationship for the past 5 years.))

“Looking at his face, he’s definitely got some sort of magic working for him,” Hongjoong chuckled, relaxing a bit as he grabbed a napkin to clean up the last traces of tears on his face. “It’s not fair. I have a friend, Yunho, who’s got like… amazing fucking skin. You could rub a pizza on his face, and he’d never break out.” 

Seonghwa huffed. “Skincare is Yeosang’s passion, but somehow it only works for him. I know a cheat when I see it.” 

Hongjoong laughed, and even if all the words and noises were a little thicker and a little weaker, they were genuine. 

And Seonghwa pointedly ignored the fact that maybe his heart was beating a little fast. 

“What about you?” Hongjoong questioned, cocking an eyebrow. “You said you hate exercising, but you have like- the perfect body.” 

Seonghwa expected any sort of compliment other than one so forward, and felt his face go up in flames. 

Subsequently, Hongjoong’s face also grew to a deeper pink than his hair had ever reached. 

“I- I- Okay, that came across as really flirtatious and forward, and I swear I didn’t mean it- I mean, like, yes, I meant it- you do have a really nice body, but it’s not like I’ve been ogling it or anything, I-” 

Hongjoong cut off his own mortified rant as the bell above the door rang, signalling someone entering. He dropped his head, covering his face with his hands and groaning. 

Seonghwa bit back that stupidly endeared smile as he half-bowed to the customer. “Good morning, Ms. Yoo,” he greeted as he waved. 

Yeosang and San both came from the back, greeting with smiles and helpfulness- San glaring and mouthing for Seonghwa to stay right where he was. 

Hongjoong was still looking ready for a black hole to swallow him, and Seonghwa’s smile grew infinitely fond because he was weak for cute boys, alright?

“It was a compliment, and I’ll take it as one,” he assured Hongjoong. “Trust me, I’ve heard much more crass things while working. Thank you.” 

Hongjoong slowly, lifted his head (thankfully, without succumbing to another round of tears), though his cheeks were still red and his expression still begged for death. He cleared his throat. 

“Okay, ignoring the fact that I have the social skills of an oyster-” 

Seonghwa snorted, hiding his mouth behind his hand to keep that boxy smile from being thrown out. 

“- at the risk of sounding forward, what do you do- if not exercise?” he continued, trying for a calm and normal voice. 

Seonghwa gathered himself enough to grin as he spoke. “Just a fast metabolism,” he assured Hongjoong. “But I don’t actually eat many sweets- at least, no more than anyone else. But I eat a lot at meals… Like a lot,” he chuckled, rubbing at his neck. “Blessed with that, I guess.” 

“So you’re just as bad as Yeosang,” Hongjoong hummed, chuckling as he took a defensive sip of his drink, smiling quietly. 

It was a gentle smile, like sunlight filtering through a window, and Seonghwa had to curb the desire to just smile like a fucking idiot- He could not smile like a fucking idiot in front of the customer/friend. 

“I like your hair,” Seonghwa blurted without much thought, clearly taking Hongjoong by surprise as he touched it. 

“Oh… thanks,” He said, smiling- showing off perfect, small teeth. “I haven’t had time to keep up with it lately,” he chuckled. “I’m thinking of going for something like a lavender the next time I have free time. Maybe go back to red.” 

“Red?” Seonghwa asked, perking up in interest. 

Okay, so maybe now he totally understood Yeosang seeing hair dye and getting it for Wooyoung. Maybe he could totally see that being a thing he wanted to do. 

Hongjoong laughed in embarrassment. “That was a phase in my life,” he snickered. “Sometimes I dye my hair to inspire me on what kind of music to write. That was during summer. I dyed it white for winter, and I’m hoping to go for pastels during spring.” 

Holy shit, Seonghwa was going to melt for this goddamn man, and he couldn’t right now, but dear God, did he want to. 

He was endearing. 

Hongjoong glanced at the phone sitting on the table as it buzzed with a text message. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, leaning over to read it. He sighed quietly. “Well, I guess I should get going,” he sighed again, looking genuinely regretful. 

Seonghwa had forgotten they were on a time limit, and felt his heart sink, even as he smiled warmly. 

“Of course- You have work to do, I won’t keep you.” He glanced at the croissant still sitting in its wrapper. “Without even eating your croissant?” he teased as they both stood. “You’ll taunt me with how much you love them, and then not even let me see you eat it?”

Hongjoong snorted, shaking his head as he gathered his things. “Believe me, you wouldn’t want to hear the sounds I make while eating this croissant.” 

Seonghwa froze, waiting to see if Hongjoong might notice how suggestive that was. 

Hongjoong also froze. And then slammed his entire body onto the table they had vacated, a quiet cry of despair at his mouth’s choice. 

“I’m sorry! ” he burst, voice shaking. “I promise I’m not making sex noises while eating your food, I promise I’m not actually this weird-” 

Seonghwa was practically vibrating to contain his laughter as Hongjoong continued to whine into the tabletop, hitting his fist on it lightly. 

“I-It’s okay,” he managed without breaking into giggles. “I swear- San always has a competition to see if he can make the best sex noises everytime we make our Better Than Sex cookies.” 

Hongjoong slowly lifted his head that had a red spot on his forehead from hitting it. “You guys… sell Better Than Sex cookies?” he asked slowly, momentarily distracted from his own awkwardness. 

“They’re a Valentine’s special,” Seonghwa assured him, waving a hand. “But, truthfully, nothing you could do or say would ever make me more uncomfortable than hearing my best friends moaning around cookies.” 

Hongjoong stared for a moment. 

Seonghwa stared back, their words hanging between them. 

Simultaneously, they both doubled over with laughter, Hongjoong leaning on the table and Seonghwa gaining balance from the back of the chair. 

It was so fucking awkward, but something about it was so fucking funny, and Seonghwa’s heart was still trying out a new tap dance routine as Seonghwa realized that Hongjoong’s laugh was really fucking nice and cute- He was just cute, okay ?

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa apologized. “That was way too much information- I don’t think either of us needed to hear that-” 

“No, I’m sorry, I started it,” Hongjoong said, breathless with laughter as he straightened, grabbing his things, his face glowing with amusement. “I shouldn’t have been so tongue tied, I’m sorry- I’m just always weird around attractive people-” 

Hongjoong’s mouth clicked shut- looking torn between the previous amusement and the new round of mortification. 

Attractive?

“I’m gonna go now,” Hongjoong said quickly, already walking to the door, head tucked down. “I- Sorry,” he called, grimacing over his shoulder. “Thank you for-” He held up the croissant and then glanced at Seonghwa still standing there, his expression softening. “Everything,” he finally said quietly. “Thanks for everything.” 

And then he was gone with a tinkle of the bell. 

Seonghwa stared at the door for far too long, feeling like there was an earthquake running through the ground. 

Oh, shit, no, that was his heart racing. 

“Hyung, you are so much fucking deeper than we ever thought,” San said, leaning on the counter with an honestly shocked expression on his face. 

Seonghwa panicked for a moment before realizing that Ms. Yoo had already left before Hongjoong had. 

“That was gay, hyung,” Yeosang agreed from behind the pastry case. “Like, really gay. From both ends. Double gay reading. Gayness off the charts-” 

“Yes, I get the picture,” Seonghwa said firmly, glaring at them. 

“So, are you gonna admit it?” San demanded, leaning forward, invested. 

“Admit what?” he scoffed, walking back around the counter after he gathered the tray back up. 

Yeosang gave him an unimpressed look. “Hyung, you did not spend twenty minutes talking and flirting- looking more coupley than the actual couples who come through here- after you saved this very specific customer a pastry, to which they began sobbing over because you’re really fucking nice, as we’ve always said- and then not come to realize your gay awakening for this guy!” He ended up almost yelling in outrage. 

Seonghwa gave no immediate response, staring at the paper lined tray, staring at the little smudge of coffee that had dripped onto it, just the sight of it making his heart start hula hooping. 

Attractive, huh? Seonghwa’s lips twitched. 

“I guess… maybe something of the sort happened,” he admitted quietly. “I wouldn’t call it something so blunt-” 

“Hyung, you were both giggling like schoolgirls,” San monotoned. “You have no defense, nor right to name what you just did.” 

Seonghwa sighed, shaking his head. “Just check on the brownies, would you?” 

~~~~~~~

Seonghwa started saving croissants. 

It really didn’t matter that much- it stopped one sale from happening in the early morning, but even if Hongjoong didn’t show up, it was nothing to sell in before noon. 

The next time Hongjoong came in, he perhaps couldn’t quite look Seonghwa in the eyes like before, but neither of them brought up the strange conversation- aside from a knowing eye contact that lead into half-hidden smiles and quiet snorts of laughter. 

“You really don’t need to make a habit of saving me these,” Hongjoong said earnestly as he accepted it from Seonghwa graciously anyway. “Really- that’s not a good way to run a business, I don’t think-” 

“If it were hurting my business, I wouldn’t be doing it,” Seonghwa assured him, smiling warmly. “It costs me nothing to do it, Hongjoong. And you deserve it as much as the people getting here and ordering six at a time.” 

Hongjoong didn’t cry that time, but his eyes shone with a gratitude that spoke volumes of the sort of time he was having at work. 

“You really are nice,” Hongjoong said, staring at the little paper wrapper. “Like… obscenely nice. You’re sure they don’t have a statue of you built somewhere around here?” 

Seonghwa snorted shaking his head. “Absolutely not. I just try and make sure people have a better day when they come through here.” 

Hongjoong took his coffee, expression softened. “Well, it works,” he murmured, almost like he didn’t intend for Seonghwa to hear. 

That became a bit of a new routine. 

Hongjoong sprinted to the shop, stopped outside, caught his breath, and entered with a smile. Yeosang and San would make themselves scarce or at least back away so Hongjoong only interacted with Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong would order and ask if they had any chocolate croissants left, smiling secretly. Seonghwa always had one more, coincidentally . Hongjoong would get his food and drink. 

And then, he would begin to push his time for how long he could stay- only five or so minutes, but it was enough for a quiet conversation about their days. 

Seonghwa was an idiot who fell hard and fast. 

Hongjoong was just nice and he lit up when talking about his passion, and he smiled like the sun, and he laughed like fucking windchimes, and his hair was always a different shade, and his fingernail polish changed colors with his mood for the day- 

And he wore reformed clothes that were stitched and cropped and messy but stylish, and he always came in looking really nice even if he’d been up all night- 

Seonghwa hated how fucking cute he was. He loathed how his heart moved from doing a pitter patter to full on racing the moment he saw Hongjoong run up to the bakery. 

He hated how nice his voice was, and he hated when Hongjoong could conspiratorially show him flashes of lyrics he was working on, making a show of making Seonghwa swear not to tell anyone about them. 

He fucking hated how bright his day got when Hongjoong showed up. How he would ride the winds of their small interaction for the next few hours, practically giddy. 

Seonghwa never really dated before. 

Running a business did not leave a lot of time for personal stuff. He woke up early, closed the shop around 6, prepared the next day’s work, went home, ate dinner, mindlessly watched a bit of TV, and then went to sleep to do it all over again. 

Hongjoong seemed to have a similar issue, as he complained about watching his coworkers begin dating. 

“Any date I went on would have to be in my studio,” he sighed, leaning on his fist regretfully. “Or be sometime between 3 and 4 AM. Maybe I could squeeze in a lunch on the weekends…. I can usually get Eden to give me a break to see the sunlight on weekends…” 

“I thought you were sleeping by noon?” Seonghwa asked, frowning. 

Actually, now that he thought of it, he never saw Hongjoong on weekends. Only during the week. Huh. 

“Weekends I work relatively normal hours,” Hongjoong chuckled, small hand waving, giving Seonghwa the urge to catch it. 

His hands looked really soft, and that seemed weird to notice, but Seonghwa’s hands were not soft, nor did they appear soft, but Hongjoong’s hands looked really soft. 

“I work a shorter amount of time on weekends- usually until just after noon- but I spend the rest of that time playing catch up on my sleep from the week,” he snickered. “Probably not the healthiest lifestyle, but it hasn’t killed me yet.” He grinned. 

Seonghwa fell a little harder, furiously trying to claw his way back up. 

Hongjoong still had no rhyme or reason to when he showed up, but it was always a surprise most welcomed. Even Yeosang and San had started allowing themselves to interact, now that they were sure Hongjoong firmly had his sights set on Seonghwa. 

Okay, the bottom line: Seonghwa really liked Hongjoong, but he was a coward- according to Yeosang and San- who was only delaying the inevitable because Hongjoong had called him attractive, and it was clear he was receptive to everything the two of them had been doing. 

And really, Seonghwa didn’t know why he was hesitating. 

Probably because he was scared. Scared of the unknown, the uncertain. He had planned his business out to the letter, gotten everything 110% correct and checked, did his daily routine of making sure things went smoothly- 

Seonghwa didn’t deal with failure well. And if he looked hard enough, he might notice that he probably could date if he wanted, but the idea of breaking up even from a superficial relationship was not something he could easily convince himself to risk. 

Hongjoong was nice, and he admitted that Seonghwa was attractive, but so what? Lots of people were attractive, but Seonghwa didn’t like them. Not like he liked Hongjoong. 

In fact, “attractive” was probably the most impersonal you could get! As opposed to cute, handsome, beautiful, hot- attractive was rather objective! 

So what if Hongjoong rejected him? What if Hongjoong was interested, but wasn’t ready yet and Seonghwa was being too pushy? Hell, could you even consider them friends if they only met for a grand total of an hour each week?

Was it weird to go straight to asking him out? Shouldn’t he see if Hongjoong wanted to meet up as friends first?

But where was the time? Hongjoong’s hours were polar opposites of his own, and both of them were so busy- could they even sustain a relationship if they did get into it? Was it fair to offer that, when Seonghwa wasn’t sure he could provide a relationship that was substantial enough? 

That thought spiral had nearly launched him into a panic, if not for Yeosang violently slapping his arm and telling him to stop freaking the fuck out. 

“I get that you like him a lot,” Yeosang said, physically holding Seonghwa’s face between his hands to force him to listen. “And I get that things are uncertain and the thought of anything less than perfection is terrifying and unacceptable, hyung, alright? I, of all people, know what that feels like- being afraid that you won’t be enough.” 

Seonghwa had swallowed what felt like sandpaper. 

Yeosang shook him slightly. “But I want you to think about everything you know about Hongjoong. Do you honestly think he could be cruel about anything? Does it honestly look like he has his life together any more than you do? Does it look like he’s the sort of person looking for perfection? He’s practically a bat , hyung- He’d be crazy to be looking for a stable, normal relationship.” 

Seonghwa didn’t quite believe that, but he did feel better. 

And thankfully, during the time that Hongjoong came in, Seonghwa didn’t make an idiot out of himself. 

Hongjoong dyed his hair a orangey yellow with the tips dyed almost red. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh in genuine delight. “You look like a sunrise!” 

Hongjoong tugged at the strands nervously, face a little flushed. “Yeah, I mean… I’ve been working on a few… brighter songs, I guess. Thought it was appropriate for summer.” He shrugged. 

“It suits you!” Seonghwa assured him, wanting to reach out and touch it, but knowing that was absolutely not allowed. “The colors are so vibrant.” 

Hongjoong seemed pleased with the praise, thanking him as Seonghwa fetched him his croissant. 

Hongjoong took it, grinning playfully. “So, do all your customers get such glowing compliments, or am I special?” 

It wasn’t quite flirtatious. It came across as an almost genuine inquiry to Seonghwa’s regular relationship with customers, so Hongjoong could figure out where he stood. 

Seonghwa stared at the coffee and pastry in Hongjoong’s hands, his mouth suddenly dry as Hongjoong smiled at him. 

He glanced at his bright hair and his stupid smile and his pretty face and his little chains and piercings (he’d just gotten a new one). 

He stared at Hongjoong and all the things he wanted to compliment him on. 

All the things he wanted Hongjoong to know were beautiful about him. The things that made Seonghwa want to quit baking and become a poet just so he would have an excuse to get rid of the disgustingly warm and fond sunbursts that lit up his chest every time Hongjoong breathed. 

Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, his heart racing, and he made a choice. 

A choice to try and stick his neck out just this once, to see how it went. To take a little risk. 

And it was terrifying because if Seonghwa had planned this, he would go through all the things he could say, and he would memorize them so he didn’t make an idiot of himself. 

But Hongjoong asked the question, and Seonghwa’s mouth was already moving, almost instinctive. 

Hongjoong was cute. Seonghwa would call him cute. That was a nice, safe, tame compliment that was no different than being called attractive. 

“I don’t compliment everyone quite so much,” he assured him, chuckling. “Only the beautiful ones.” 

Fuck. 

Beautiful?

“Beautiful” was not the same as fucking “cute!” 

Seonghwa was going to cut his goddamn tongue out for being so stupid and useless, he had one job, one thing to say, keep it simple, keep it playful- 

Do not fucking call him beautiful- how the fuck are you going to play this off- 

Hongjoong stared with such shock- mouth agape and eyes wide, that Seonghwa almost just hit him over the head with a pan to cause amnesia or something.

Seonghwa wasn’t moving or saying anything. He needed to play it off, be cool about it, do not show how much you want to fucking melt when he laughs- 

Hongjoong wasn’t moving either, looking like he had been turned to stone. Or slapped. Turned to stone and then slapped. 

Seonghwa didn’t want to slap a stone statue. He wanted the statue to forget he ever saw Seonghwa today. 

Seonghwa needed Yeosang to come out and plead to Hongjoong that Seonghwa was actually an escaped mental patient who couldn’t be held liable for what he said- 

Hongjoong’s mouth closed slowly, though his eyes continued to stare in shock. “Um…” 

Oh God, please don’t speak. 

Just leave. Just walk out and save us both. 

“So…” Hongjoong wet his lips, looking nervous. “So, how many… beautiful… customers do you usually get?” he asked slowly, cautiously. 

As if Hongjoong was suddenly aware they were playing a game, but no one had explained the rules yet. As if he was trying to make sure he wasn’t breaking a rule with his question. 

Well, fuck it, Seonghwa didn’t know the rules either. He’d probably broken all of them just by calling Hongjoong beautiful. 

He was a fucking idiot, he probably made him uncomfortable, and Hongjoong is way too nice to ever try and make Seonghwa uncomfortable with what he said- 

Wait. What was the question?

Seonghwa now had a second option. 

He was sick of tired of options- couldn’t he just get his happily ever after now? He’d been brave (stupid) once- wasn’t that enough?

How many beautiful customers did he have? 

How many other people did he ever treat the way he treated Hongjoong? 

Oh, fuck, Hongjoong was giving him an option. 

A chance to either zip back over into safe territory… or finish what he’d started on accident. 

Well, he absolutely knew the answer, but he was scared shitless to try and give an honest answer. He had been brave enough for one day, maybe he should just stay firmly rooted in the safe space. 

But… Hongjoong was staring at him. With cautious eyes that were still sparkling, his lipgloss slightly rubbed off, his silver chain earring glinting as his head shifted slightly- 

He was really… really fucking beautiful. 

Seonghwa stared, his mouth dry and his stomach feeling sick as his heart pumped adrenaline equal to that of a bull chase.

How many beautiful customers did he get?

“Just… Just one,” he said, feeling like his tongue had gone numb. 

Hongjoong took a slow, deep, quiet breath, something in his expression lightening with understanding. Seonghwa made his choice. 

Neither of them moved. 

Seonghwa was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing, his heart slowly rising to his throat. 

Hongjoong was still staring- neither joyous nor disappointed. 

And then Hongjoong reached out, grabbing his coffee and pastry. “Okay,” he said, a little raspy, looking like he was operating independent of his brain right now. “Alright then. I’ll see you next time, Seonghwa,” he said, lifting his cup in a farewell salute. 

And then Hongjoong walked out of the shop. And Seonghwa continued to stand there like an idiot. 

Was that a rejection? It wasn’t, though. Was it a promise? Did Hongjoong need to think about it?

Every worst case scenario was suddenly front and center in his mind. Seonghwa went into the back where Yeosang and San were and promptly collapsed into a chair, sobbing. 

He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t crushed. But he wasn’t happy or hopeful, either. He felt, really, oddly numb. Neither side of his emotions winning over. 

There was just a lot of pressure inside of Seonghwa that was suddenly rushing out, and it did so in the form of tears that Yeosang and San comforted him through, having heard the whole thing. 

Seonghwa didn’t make any decisions. He neither decided that it was a rejection nor an acceptance. He would just have to wait until Hongjoong came back. 

But he had just basically confessed to his crush and gotten no real answer, so Seonghwa cried because adrenaline was fading and reality was coming back. 

He was fucking terrified. 

But he also felt a lot lighter, like he had finally released the pressure valve he had been keeping tightly under wraps that had been growing tighter and tighter every time he shoved down another urge to touch or smile obnoxiously at Hongjoong. 

Every fond surge or endeared burst of warmth in his chest felt like more and more water pressure to be held back by his delicate gates. 

And now that they had been opened, Seonghwa didn’t know what the hell he was going to do. 

But he knew that there wasn’t anything he could do, until he saw Hongjoong next. 

~~~~~~~

It was Sunday. 

Seonghwa thought he was safe. 

He hadn’t seen Hongjoong since Wednesday, but it was the weekend, which meant there was no chance of seeing Hongjoong until at least Monday, and so Seonghwa thought he was safe. 

He was not safe. 

And it wasn’t fair. Because Seonghwa always noticed Hongjoong by him sprinting up to the door and catching his breath and coming in briskly. 

He didn’t see anyone running. He didn’t see anyone outside, catching their breath. 

He just saw the vague shape of someone strolling up to the door and opening it. 

“Welcome!” Yeosang called where he was cleaning the machine, San in the back icing cupcakes. 

Seonghwa stood up from where he was wiping up a spill on the floor, his own greeting in his chest. 

That he choked on. 

Because Hongjoong stood on the other side of the counter, smiling awkwardly, looking almost pained by how strained his lips were. 

His hair was rumpled, but like he had done it on purpose. His jean jacket and black, ripped skinnies looked way too nice for what had happened the last time Seonghwa spoke with Hongjoong. 

He wore a chain that dangled from his lobe, nearly brushing his neck for how long it was. He looked, as always, really fucking nice. 

But Seonghwa’s eyes seemed to cling to every detail, knowing what he had confessed last time, unable to look away no matter how hard his conscious screamed at him. 

And it almost felt like seeing a teacher outside of school, despite the fact that this was the only place Seonghwa ever saw Hongjoong at. 

Seonghwa and Hongjoong stared at each other for several moments before Yeosang coughed quietly behind them. 

“I’ll go… see if we have enough red frosting,” he said, disappearing into the kitchen. Seonghwa couldn’t even be mad at him for abandoning him. 

Hongjoong rolled his lips, looking apologetic. “I… I’m sorry I sort of… just left you there… last time…” he murmured, fingers twisting. His nail was blue today. 

Seonghwa broke free of his shock to shake his head quickly. “No- No, it’s fine- I- I shouldn’t have just thrown that at you, I made it awkward, and I’m really sorry, it won’t happen-” 

“You didn’t.” 

“Pardon?” Seonghwa choked, one hand gripping the counter. 

Hongjoong shifted his weight. “You didn’t make it awkward or weird… I was… I was just surprised by such a… genuine compliment.” 

He ducked his head slightly, cheeks a little pink. Seonghwa held his breath. 

“Anyway,” Hongjoong managed stiffly, lifting his head, not meeting his eyes. “The… The reason I left was… sort of to plan some stuff out? And, really, you’re such a genuinely nice person, I wasn’t entirely sure if you were just being gracious or if you meant something… possibly a little more by it?” 

He glanced at Seonghwa warily, once again asking the rules of the game. 

Seonghwa wanted to scream that yes, he meant something more. 

But it was scary, you know? Scary to be the first one to express interest, to be too eager, to like them more than they liked you… 

So Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to say anything. 

Hongjoong wet his lips. “Um… and so I still didn’t really come up with a concrete answer… but I figured… maybe it might be nice to ask you out to lunch… as whatever you want?” he questioned. “Whether it’s just as friends or… something that might be more?” 

He offered it so gently. So curiously. So absolutely leaving it up to Seonghwa what he wanted them to be. 

But Seonghwa the Coward could never just put himself out there one more time. 

“What would you… want us to be?” he questioned quietly, his stomach feeling like he might hurl. 

And it wasn’t really fair, asking a question he was terrified to answer to Hongjoong. But what else could he do?

“I want us to both agree on what we want to be,” Hongjoong said rather eloquently, despite how his hands wrung themselves together. “If you want us to just head out and chat as friends, I’m absolutely fine with that. More than fine- I’d be delighted, Seonghwa,” he assured him earnestly. 

Holy shit, this was not going to work out as friends if Hongjoong kept being so fucking genuine. Seonghwa was going to have an aneurysm. 

He swallowed when Hongjoong squeezed his hands together, looking nervous. “But, I mean… if you’re willing to give it a try being something a little more…” 

He hesitated, rolling his lips, looking like a swimmer taking a breath before a plunge. 

“I like you, Seonghwa,” he finally said in a rush. “Like… a lot. And not just because you’ve got a really nice body and face that makes me want to punch it for how handsome you are-” 

Seonghwa snorted helplessly, feeling like his insides were turning to goo. 

“-but because you’re a nice fucking person. And you care about people- not just me. But you go out of your way to do these little things for people, and somehow that seems so much more than just doing something big, you know?” Hongjoong almost demanded. “And I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much you saving that first croissant mean to me-” 

Hongjoong looked like he was also going to throw up. He swallowed nervously.  

“So… I really like you,” he said, calmer, but just as earnest. “And I would honestly think it was a joke if you wanted to go out with me, but I would absolutely be willing to try. But, if you don’t want to, then I’d be absolutely delighted to have the honor to be your friend, Seonghwa.” 

Yeah, Seonghwa had checked out. 

He was knee deep in a quicksand he didn’t want to get out of. 

“I…” 

His throat caught, and his chest tightened because holy shit. 

“I… can see why you write lyrics now,” he managed with a wet laugh. He needed to not cry. He needed to hold it the fuck together. “That was… a lot.” 

Hongjoong winced, but shrugged with one shoulder. 

Seonghwa wet his lips, already knowing his answer but trying to find the way to phrase it. 

“I… like you, Hongjoong,” he began slowly, jerkily. “I like everything about you- from your hair to your little pinkie that you always color.” 

Hongjoong chuckled, a smile beginning to take over his lips, hope beginning to gather in his eyes. 

“And I probably liked you since you started coming here,” he admitted. “But I’m not the kind of person who knows how to do this kind of thing at all, and I think the only reason I was brave enough to do the little that I did… is because you didn’t seem to know what you were doing, either.” 

Hongjoong snorted. “Thanks,” he laughed, but it was genuine. 

Seonghwa shook his head suddenly. “Fuck this,” he whispered in frustration, rubbing his face. “I could wax poetics about you, Hongjoong, but honestly I don’t think I’d survive,” he confessed, head snapping up. “Yes, I would love to go out with you and test the waters.” 

There. Short and to the point. Hopefully, once they were on the same page better, he could actually tell Hongjoong all the really nice things about him. 

Hongjoong’s face, though… it brightened, making Seonghwa feel as if he had been punched in the gut. 

Hongjoong smiled and Seonghwa fell a little more. 

And it had been… surprisingly painless. (Not really, but the world was still turning, which was more than he had imagined.) 

“Sounds like we have a plan, then,” Hongjoong said, voice brimming with something like excitement. “Can I take you out to lunch?”

Seonghwa almost instinctively said yes, and then he realized where he was. 

“Oh,” he said flat, glancing around the bakery. “I- I would love to, Hongjoong, but I have to- I, you know… work…” 

Hongjoong also seemed to have forgotten about where they were. His expression fell. “Oh, right,” he said, hitting his head gently. “Right- I…. Honestly, I forgot that this was your work,” he chuckled. “Wow, I feel stupid now…” He grinned. “Okay… a rain check, maybe? We can see when we might match-” 

“He can go now!” San’s voice yelled, the sound of the doors slamming open preceding that. 

Seonghwa whipped around and found San and Yeosang standing, looking at them with wide, excited eyes. “I can’t-” 

“Yes, you can,” Yeosang said firmly, glaring. “It’s not going to kill us to have you gone for an hour. There’s no catering orders, and it’s a Sunday, hyung, we’ve been dead all day.” 

“Go!” San snapped, pointing a sharp finger. “Go take a lunch break, go on a walk, and have fun, hyung. We’ve got this.” 

Seonghwa had left the store to Yeosang and San alone, before, but never for a personal reason. He wasn’t hesitating because he didn’t trust them, but it felt wrong to take off just to go on a date- 

“He can go,” Yeosang said firmly, looking past Seonghwa at Hongjoong. “He’ll be ready in ten minutes. He likes steak, but also really likes ramen- whatever your budget is. He’s allergic to shellfish, and his favorite flowers are roses and daffodils. He likes blue-” 

“Yeosang!” Seonghwa hissed, face heating as Hongjoong laughed with delight. 

“You’re wasting time,” San said sharply. “Grab your coat, hyung!” 

Seonghwa went to potentially curse them out, but Yeosang was grabbing him and dragging him to the back room, ignoring his cries of protest. 

“Should I be concerned with how invested in my love life you guys are?” Seonghwa demanded as he took off his apron. 

If they were going to insist, Seonghwa was not going to turn down a date with a cute boy who also found him attractive. He was awkward, not dumb . 

“Probably,” Yeosang admitted, shrugging. “Doesn’t matter, though. Have fun, hyung. Don’t feel pressured. If he tries anything, break his hand-” 

“Tries what?” Seonghwa demanded as he shrugged on his coat. 

“Like it he tries to touch your leg.” 

“Didn’t Wooyoung touch your dick on your first date?” he questioned pointedly. 

“On accident, though I didn’t know that, yes.” 

“Did you break his hand?”

“We do not bring up the Great Hospital Visit of 2015, hyung,” Yeosang said, glaring. “Just don’t take any shit, even if you don’t think he’ll give it to you, alright?”

“We’re going to lunch, Yeosang.” 

He beamed. “I know! So, have fun, okay?” 

“Have fun and break his wrist?”

“Who says you can’t do both?” he asked, dragging Seonghwa out to the front again. 

San was speaking to Hongjoong very intently when they exited. 

“-so if you hurt him, I will find a way to get our ovens high enough to incerate your worthless body-” 

“San!” Seonghwa snapped, raising a hand in warning, mortified - 

San was already snickering, scampering back to the kitchen of safety. “Have fun, you two!”

Yeosang simply pointed a finger gun at Seonghwa and also disappeared into the back. 

Suddenly, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were alone. 

Despite their perfect intention, and the ball of warmth Seonghwa felt for having such amazing friends, he was still going to kill them when he got back. 

Hongjoong laughed awkwardly, though there was genuine amusement clinging to his eyes. 

“Are… you sure you want to come now?” he asked for reassurance. “We can set it at another time…” 

“No, this is fine,” Seonghwa assured him quickly, shaking his head. “I’m just… not a very impromptu person. I like planning things, so I’m just trying to… fit this into my plan for today.” 

He walked around the counter, standing beside Hongjoong. 

He hadn’t really noticed it before, given the space between them, but Hongjoong was actually quite short. 

Oh, if this worked out well, Seonghwa would have so much fun with that. 

“Where to?” Seonghwa asked as they slowly began walking from the door. 

Hongjoong opened the door for him, and Seonghwa’s heart melted. 

“Um… do you actually like ramen?” he questioned nervously, grinning. “Because there’s a pretty good place next to the bank.” 

Seonghwa’s smile grew. “I love that place,” he assured him. “But we don’t have to do ramen, if you don’t want-” 

“No, ramen is fine,” he said quickly, his own smile growing. 

There was a sort of excitement between the two of them. And Seonghwa could almost liken it to when he, San, and Yeosang were having their final meetings about the bakery. 

The sensation of looking at someone and feeling the excitement of knowing you were about to embark on a very real journey with them. 

Hell, maybe their journey wouldn’t make it farther than this lunch hour. But Seonghwa had had no guarantee that his bakery would make it past its first year. But, with work and a little faith… things might work out. 

He was also realizing that he was now going on a date with a very beautiful, kind, interesting, and awkward person. He was doing that. 

He felt proud of himself for that. (Also giddy.) 

They walked a respectable distance between them, chatting casually about their day. About their plans for the evening. 

It didn’t quite have the warmth of a date, but that could come later. For now, Seonghwa was still trying to swallow the fact that this was really happening. That the person walking beside him- 

Seonghwa really liked him. 

And maybe it was preemptive but Seonghwa really wanted to be able to grow something between them two of them. 

He really wanted to get to know Hongjoong more, to figure out his past and to… to try and maybe be part of his future? Was that too cheesy?

Hongjoong suddenly chuckled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I really… can’t actually believe this is happening,” he chuckled weakly, though his smile was bright. “I… really feel like I’m dreaming because I’ve been crushing on you since the beginning, and you really are so nice and really fucking attractive- like, never forget that, if nothing else-” 

Seonghwa laughed. Soft and warm. 

That wonderful, sunlight of a person walking beside him… liked Seonghwa as much as Seonghwa liked him. 

And the absolute rush of giddy excitement it gave him was enough to spark the courage to smile at Hongjoong quietly. 

“Would it be way too forward… for me to ask to hold your hand?” Seonghwa asked, cringing at how he’d phrased it.

But holy shit, was it normal to feel so fucking endeared by someone you didn’t really know that well?

But.. he supposed they knew enough about each other. Hongjoong knew that Seonghwa was the kind of person to set aside a pastry, just so he could have it. 

And Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong was the kind of person who cried at simple acts of kindness, touched and moved by all the little things someone could do for another. 

And that seemed good enough. 

Hongjoong didn’t reject the question. 

Hongjoong merely blinked in that same owlish shock as before before shaking his head quickly. “N-No, no way- I mean, absolutely, go ahead, yeah-” 

Seonghwa was going to vomit with fondness as Hongjoong held out his hand to let Seonghwa hold it. 

He was wearing rings that were warmed by his small fingers that Seonghwa’s easily held. 

Seonghwa squeezed it comfortingly, and the smile that Hongjoong gave him was almost as fond as his own, both of them likely looking like a fucking teenage couple. 

They didn’t look at each other, instead focusing on the road, still talking- getting louder when Seonghwa asked about the specific process that Hongjoong went through with his songs, and opened a whole can of worms. 

He grinned, listening and watching Hongjoong swing their hands back and forth as he spoke with his hands animatedly- the sun in his eyes and spilling from his tongue. 

But Seonghwa squeezed his hand all the same, feeling Hongjoong squeeze it back, both of them relaxing slightly as they continued the walk to the restaurant. 

Heh. His hands were soft.