Chapter Text
“I want to apologise for my behaviour last night,” Henry says, during breakfast the next morning. “Armie told me what I did, and I…”
“You’re a bastard,” Saoirse spits out. “Hurting Liz like that!”
“Yes. I don’t even know why I did it. I think I must have thought it was funny,” Henry tries to explain, an embarrassed look on his face. “It’s no excuse, and I am so sorry, Liz.”
“Just don’t do it again.”
“I won’t. If I say something like that again, Armie will…”
“I have my ways to get him to shut up.”
“Yes, we all saw that last night,” Saoirse laughs, and Timothée’s face turns a dark shade of red.
“That was a good kiss,” Henry laughs, and Saoirse raises an eyebrow.
“Don’t tell me, you’re gay now too.”
“Definitely not. But I’m not afraid to admit that I enjoyed that.”
“Yes?” Saoirse laughs. “Isn’t that how it started with you?” she asks, looking at Armie, who is trying hard not to laugh.
“Oh, I’m definitely not gay. The kissing I can do, but the…,” Henry says, glancing down at his crotch. “I can’t do that. That’s just too… no.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing out on, man,” Armie laughs, Timothée’s face now turning even redder.
“I think I’ll stick to what I know. But thanks.”
“And how’s that working out for you?” Saoirse asks. “When was the last time a girl actually stuck around for longer than one night?”
“When was the last time you had a boyfriend?” Henry asks, raising an eyebrow, but when a bread roll nearly hits him in the face, he has to duck away. “Sore subject?”
“Fuck you, Cavill!”
“May I join you?” Elizabeth asks, and Timothée looks up from his book. He gives a nod, and Elizabeth sits down with him by the fireplace. “Armie told me you two are looking into getting a place together.”
“Mhm.”
“That’s exciting.”
“Yeah.”
“You can barely contain yourself, I can tell,” Elizabeth laughs. “You’re not excited?”
“I am.”
“But you don’t want me to see?” Elizabeth asks, a knowing smile on her face. “Don’t worry, I can handle it. I promise I won’t be throwing any bricks through your windows, or…”
“I know that,” Timothée says, a shy smile on his face. “It’s just that…”
“You get to live the life that I was meant to have?”
“Yeah,” Timothée admits, and Elizabeth sighs.
“That’s really what you think?”
“It’s how I feel. I feel guilty.”
“Don’t. I’m happy, okay? I’ve been trying to go on dates, so…”
“Really?” Timothée asks, and Elizabeth nods.
“I’m alright. I promise.”
Timothée and Armie had decided to stay at the house, while the others had gone out to check out the lake, and they are now in the sauna. Timothée has just closed his eyes, and he is finally starting to relax, after he had been a little anxious about having to go into the sauna, never having been in one before.
But when he feels Armie’s hand on his leg, his eyes shoot open, and he looks down at it. It is already moving towards his dick, and if they had been somewhere else, at another time, this wouldn’t have bothered him. But they are in a sauna, Henry’s parents’ sauna, and their friends can come back any minute. So this isn’t the place, nor the time for this.
Armie can tell that Timothée isn’t into it, so instead, he brings his hand up to his stomach, and he carefully touches his skin, his fingertips only barely touching him. But the gentle touch gives Timothée goose bumps all over, even with the intense heat they are in, and Armie can’t help but smile.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers into Timothée’s ear, but the feeling of Armie’s breath on his skin gives Timothée even more chills, and he can feel his heart starting to beat faster.
The sight of Armie, his skin glistening with sweat, that glint in his eye, it is just too much, and Timothée has to look away, to try and think of something else. Anything else. But he catches himself peeking a glimpse at Armie’s chest, and he notices a single drop of sweat. He can’t take his eyes off it, and he follows it all the way down, his heart beating faster with every second.
He finds himself kissing Armie with a hunger, a passion, a fire, and the voice inside his head that is telling him that they should not be doing this right now, is quickly being pushed to the side, when Armie pushes him down onto his back.
Armie starts kissing him all over, his kisses messy, sloppy, and Timothée can tell that he is rushing. It makes him feel giddy, just knowing how much Armie wants this.
But when Armie gets up, and he goes over to the door, he wonders if he has changed his mind.
“Is something wrong?”
“I was just making sure we’re still alone,” Armie explains, before turning back around. He sits down next to Timothée, and he pats his legs, motioning for Timothée to come sit on his lap. Timothée is a little hesitant, but then he does as he is told, a nervous look on his face, as Armie puts his hands onto the sides of his neck.
“Is this okay?” he whispers, and Timothée nods. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.
“But if you want to stop, just tell me,” Armie whispers, before kissing him, trying to make the kiss last as long as possible. But when he finally breaks it, Timothée looks down, and he swallows hard.
Armie carefully grabs hold of his dick, and he begins stroking him, slowly, gently. For a moment, they are both taken back to the first time Armie had touched him, all those months ago.
They share a nervous, knowing smile, before sharing a long kiss, Armie still touching Timothée as though it´s the very first time.
Armie´s touches are almost becoming too much, and Timothée leans back his head, struggling to keep quiet, getting more flushed by the second.
Armie can´t stop staring at him, just the sight of that angelic beauty, the sweat dripping down his face, it makes his insides do things they have never done before. So he kisses him again, his hand still pumping away on Timothée´s dick. And when Timothée moans out into his mouth, he leans back, wanting nothing more than to just see him right now.
Timothée flashes a small, shy smile, before wrapping his arms around him, and pulling him down onto the bench. They are sticky and sweaty, and Armie still remembers how Timothée had once been embarrassed to be naked in front of him, how he had once been embarrassed because he had dirty hair. It makes him smile to himself, to think where they are now.
“You are beautiful,” he whispers, as he brushes the curls out of Timothée’s face, before kissing him.
“Shut up.”
“You are though.”
“They’d kill us if they knew we…,” Timothée whispers, but before he can finish his sentence, the door swings open.
“Are you guys in here?” Saoirse asks, and Timothée and Armie quickly let go of each other, and they look up, only to find her and Henry standing in the doorway, Saoirse a horrified look on her face, Henry trying not to laugh. “Seriously? We have to use this sauna as well!”
“You better clean up,” Henry laughs. “And ehm… you’ve got something on…,” he laughs, pointing at Armie’s stomach. Armie is too embarrassed to look down, and all he can wish for is for them to leave right now.
“What the hell is wrong with yous?” Saoirse asks, rolling her eyes. “For fuck sake!”
She turns and leaves, and Henry quickly follows, still laughing.
“I guess they’re back,” Armie says, but he can’t face Timothée, too embarrassed, too scared that this has upset him. But when he hears his laughter, he looks at him, and he finds his face having gone bright red, but he doesn’t seem upset at all.
“Come on, that was funny.”
“That was embarrassing.”
“But funny,” Timothée laughs. “And Henry’s right. We should probably clean this place up.”
“And have a shower.”
“A shower, huh?”
“Timmy!”
Timothée and Elizabeth are preparing dinner, when Armie quietly joins them, a big grin on his face.
“What are you smiling about?” Elizabeth laughs. “What did you do?”
“Look,” Armie laughs, and he leads them to the doorway, where they are just able to see Henry and Saoirse, who are lying in each other’s arms on the rug, in front of the fireplace.
“You don’t think…?” Timothée whispers.
“She’s not interested in Henry.”
“Are you sure?” Armie asks. “It looks like they…”
“She’s not,” Elizabeth reassures him. “There’s this guy she met, a couple of weeks ago, and he asked her out, just before we left. You should’ve seen her face.”
“That’s a shame,” Armie says. “They look cute together.”
“Until they open their mouths,” Elizabeth says, “I swear, it will get physical between those two one day.”
“In what way?” Timothée laughs.
“I’m not sure yet,” Elizabeth laughs, before taking another look at their friends. “Give them enough to drink, and it could go either way.”
“I told you, it’s nothing but sexual tension.”
“Don’t let Saoirse hear!”
Timothée is just cleaning a table at the diner, when he feels two arms wrapping tightly around his waist. He gets the biggest smile on his face, and when he turns around, Armie gives him a kiss.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“It’s only been a couple of days,” Timothée laughs. After they had gotten back from their trip, only days ago, Armie had gone back to college, and they had spoken to each other every day. He wasn’t supposed to be back until Christmas, but this morning he had called to say that he was on his way over, because he had news that he didn’t want to tell over the phone. It had made Timothée feel anxious all day, but now that Armie is here, he can see that it isn’t bad news, because he wouldn’t look this happy if it was.
“Do you have time to sit down, or…?”
“Ehm…” Timothée looks around, and only one table is taken. “Let me check with Luca, okay?”
Armie gives a nod, before sitting down at a table, tapping his fingers on the table, too excited to keep the news in any longer.
It takes a minute for Timothée to come back, but when he finally joins him, he has drinks with him, a shy smile on his face.
“Luca wouldn’t let me leave until I took these,” he explains. “He can take over for me for a while, so… what did you want to tell me?”
“I found an apartment.”
“What?” Timothée asks, but the look on his face is one of shock, not of excitement or happiness, and Armie’s stomach drops. “But…”
“Oh…”
“Already?”
“I have to move out after Christmas, so… I thought you wanted this,” Armie says, unable to hide the hurt look on his face. “I can find somewhere else to live, if you’ve changed your mind, or…”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Timothée says, but then he looks over to Luca, who is walking around the diner. “But I didn’t realise it’d be so soon. I can’t just pack up and leave, Armie. I have work, I have…”
“I get it.”
“No, don’t be like this. I’m not saying I don’t want to do this, just… I can’t leave this place, not now, not at two weeks notice, okay? Luca needs me here,” Timothée explains. “I need to give him time to find someone to replace me, to…”
“I couldn’t help but overhear,” Luca says, as he pops up behind Timothée. “But you do realise that this is just a diner, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“I love you, Timmy, but I can find someone to replace you by tomorrow,” Luca says, and Armie quickly covers his mouth with his hand, to hide that he is trying his very best not to laugh. “So you go.”
“But what about…”
“You’re fired,” Luca says, and Timothée’s mouth opens wide in horror. “If that’s what it takes to make you go, that’s what I’ll do. You’re fired.”
“You can’t just…”
“I just did,” Luca shrugs. “Now you’ve got no more excuses to not move in with your boyfriend,” he adds, before turning to face Armie. “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks,” Armie laughs.
“Just make sure he comes back to visit, yeah? Because we love him, and we are going to miss him.”
“Thank you, Luca,” Timothée says, and Luca gives his hand a pat, before walking off again. “I can’t believe he just…”
“Saw through your bullshit excuses?” Armie suggests, a shy smile on Timothée’s face. “Do you want to go check out the apartment then?”
“When?”
“How about now?”
“I’m working.”
“Go!” Luca says, apparently still ‘overhearing’ them, and they can’t help but laugh. “You don’t work here anymore, Timmy.”
Timothée and Armie are in the townhouse, and today they had celebrated Christmas with Armie’s family. Next week they are moving into their apartment, and although everything feels like it’s moving at the speed of lightning, Timothée doesn’t feel anxious about it. He is excited, and he can’t wait to take that step, to start building their life together.
Armie had fallen asleep minutes ago, but Timothée doesn’t want today to end yet, so he quietly gets out of bed, and he goes over to the window. A warmth goes through his body, as he watches the moonlight shine down onto the pool, the place where it had all started.
But then he hears Armie getting out of bed, and he sighs.
“Tell me,” Armie whispers, as he wraps his arms around his waist, and he rests his chin on his shoulder. “What are you thinking?”
“I was thinking of the first time I came here. It was the first time I…”
“Checked me out?” Armie whispers, a mischievous smile on his face. “When I was getting changed?”
“Fuck you,” Timothée laughs. “That’s not what I was going to say. It was the first time that I had done something like that, hanging out with people, friends. It made feel… I don’t even know,” he admits, and he turns to face his boyfriend, a pained look on his face. “I can’t stop thinking, what if no one had found me that day, when I tried to kill myself? What if I had died?”
“Timmy…”
“No, I…” Timothée sighs, tears forming in his eyes. “I wish I could back and tell myself, show myself, that it was the worst thing I could do. Because I have hurt so many people when I did that. The look on my parents’ faces, Armie… I have this stain on me for the rest of my life, and for what?”
“That’s not what I see,” Armie says. “I don’t see a stain, or a… I see someone who survived. Who came out stronger.”
“I would give anything to turn back time and to stop myself from doing it.”
“Then you’d still be in that place,” Armie sighs. “With the same people. You wouldn’t be here, and you wouldn’t be who you are now.”
“I wouldn’t have met you, you mean?”
“That’s not even what I was thinking of,” Armie says. “I’m just saying, you can’t change the past, and I know it’s not the same, far from it, but I have to live with the guilt of hurting Liz for the rest of my life. You think I wouldn’t give anything to take it back? But I can’t, and we wouldn’t be here today if it hadn’t happened.”
“I know,” Timothée sighs, before resting his head on Armie’s shoulder. “If they hadn’t found me, Armie…”
“But they did.”
“I would have missed out on all of this. I would have thrown away my future, I…”
“Timmy, look at me,” Armie whispers, and Timothée looks up at him. “You are still here, okay? You survived.”
Timothée turns to look out at the pool again, and as Armie kisses the top of his head, he feels a heaviness which has been on his shoulders for years, lifting off. Just months ago, he was ready to die, yet here he is, feeling more alive than ever before. Ready for every next step, every next challenge that life will throw his way. And as he feels the warmth of Armie’s skin against his, he knows that his boyfriend will be there with him. Every step of the way.