Chapter Text
It’s not until Ben’s shirt is off that he realises how much of a bad idea this is. Deep down he knew it would be, but he’d hoped going through with it might just help take his mind off things.
He should stop, he knows he should, but he can’t. He has to go through with it, otherwise he’ll never get over Rey. And that was the whole point of this.
‘Mm. Been dreaming about this’ Paige tells him, thrilled to be undressing him at last. She’d caught glimpses of Ben’s ripped body as it had changed over the years, but only ever quick glances when he had his shirt off. Now she needed to see all of him.
Ben hadn’t been dreaming about this, but he’s not surprised to hear her say it. For as long as he could remember Paige had been eyeing him off in gym class. As for Ben, he’d only ever wanted one woman to be his first - and that woman was Rey.
Paige’s hands roam through his hair and she tugs him in close, the two barely able to get a sentence out between frantic kisses. Next minute Ben’s pulled from his feet and yanked down onto the bottom bunk, right on top of her.
‘Got protection, yeah?’
‘Shit. No’ Ben’s desperately trying to catch his breath, Paige far more full-on with the kissing than he’d anticipated. He’d only ever kissed and few girls before her, but never like this.
‘I mean, yeah I do - in my bag - in the cabin’
Maybe he was hoping this fact would deter her, but it doesn’t.
‘It’s fine - I’m on the pill’
And that’s it for Ben.
The minute she mentions contraception, it hits him like a flash.
This is real and once he loses his virginity to Paige it’ll be gone forever and then he can never lose it to the one woman he truly wants-
Finally putting distance between the two of them, Ben stumbles back to his feet. And then he can’t get out of there fast enough.
‘Ben!’
An apology would be the right thing to do. Or he could at least offer some form of explanation. But instead he stands at her door, shirt unbuttoned and untucked, zipper still down. And of course words fail him, as they often do at important moments in his life.
‘What the hell?!’
He’s feeling bad enough as it is. What could he possibly say that could make it any better? To excuse the way he’s just treated her??
So instead of doing the noble thing - the decent thing - he can’t even look at her. He’s too embarrassed.
He leaves the cabin without a word and slams the door, feeling awful about what he’s just done. If his mother ever found out, she’d be furious. In all her faults, she’d still bought him up to treat women with respect and he’d absolutely failed on this occasion.
He’ll apologise later – he’ll have to – but for now, he just needs to get out of there.
~~ * ~~
Hux enters the shared cabin after their bushwalk, Poe and Finn instantly collapsing on the other beds. The walk seemed like a good idea at the time, but stupidly, not one of them had checked how long it would be.
Pure torture. His feet are in agony.
‘Thought he’d be back by now’
Poe scoffs. ‘Dude needs serious help. All those girls throwing themselves at him and he’s crushing on the one he can’t have??’
‘Says who?’
Poe sits up at Hux’s flippant comment, bumping his head on the saggy mattress of the bunk above.
‘You’re kidding, right? Student. Teacher. Do I even need to explain it? He could end up in prison’
‘No. She could end up in prison’
‘That's just as bad, isn't it? It’s not worth it. He needs to get over her. What about Paige? They’d be good together’
‘She’s only chasing him to win a bet’
Suddenly Finn takes an interest. ‘For real?’
‘Yeah. Heard the girls discussing it the other day. First one to take Ben's virginity wins’
Poe lets out a low whistle. ‘Wow, that’s a new low. And that’s coming from me’
‘Whatever. I’m over talking about Ben. He can clean up his own mess’ Hux reaches into his bag, excitedly waving a stack of Playboy’s in the boys’ faces. ‘We’ve got more important issues to take care of anyway’
‘Daaamn’
Both boys’ eyes light up as they eagerly catch the magazines as Hux hurls one in their direction.
‘Shit yeah’ A wolf-whistle escapes Finn as he turns immediately to the centrefold, turning it right way up so he can take in the nude model. ‘Ben...you have no idea what you’re missing out on’
~~ * ~~
Ben decides a walk will drown his sorrows, so he digs his hands deep into his pockets and sets off.
He’d acted like a complete dick to Paige, and he felt truly awful about it.
Heading as far from the cabins as he can get, he remembers the waterfall one of the had teachers mentioned earlier. From memory it was a fair walk away, but it was still early. He had time.
Plus, it wasn’t like he was in any hurry to get back to camp. He wasn’t in a hurry to face anyone just yet, least of all Paige. He owed her a huge apology, but not right now. Right now he just needed to clear his head.
The air is still crisp and clean at this early hour, a handful of birds singing far too happily for Ben’s liking. However the fresh air works wonders and before he knows it, he’s followed the snaking trail down through the trees - the trickling sound of water alerting him to the fact he’s near.
It’s only a trickling sound to begin with, the trees finally opening to a clearing where water gushes over a high cliff to a pool below. He briefly ponders going for a swim, until he can see someone’s beaten him to it.
Damn. He thought he’d have this spot all to himself.
Not anticipating anyone else being here, it’s instinct to duck down so he’s not noticed. He squats behind a large bush that shields him from the outside world as he surveys the pool from a distance.
It’s a woman swimming and from what he can see so far, she’s a beautiful woman at that.
Great. Just what he needs.
Maybe she’s a local, unaware there’s a camp of randy teenagers here for the weekend? Maybe she’s the park ranger taking time out for a swim? Who knows.
Ben’s always had pretty good eyesight and he’s thanking the good Lord he has it now. Whoever the woman swimming is, she’s wearing a skimpy white bikini most pleasing to the eye, her tanned arms and legs now visible as she ascends out of the water like a goddess.
She’s wading slowly, hands running by her side to catch the ripples as they form, wet hair clinging to the back of her neck.
Ben’s enjoying watching unnoticed until she turns around to move closer to the rocks where her towel and clothes lie - and he realises who it is.
It’s her. Ms Johnson.
All Ben’s Christmases have come at once.
‘Fuck’
He peers through the bushes like a perve, horny heart pounding. He’d dreamt about the chance to watch her from afar, and low and behold the opportunity had finally presented itself. But now he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do.
Was it creepy to watch someone when they didn’t know you were there? Wasn’t that stalking or some shit?
Regardless of the answer to that question, ten minutes later and Ben's still there. Watching, tamping his arousal - or at least attempting to.
But it’s not working. She’s a goddess, and his cock has clearly noticed.
Ben’s sure it’s probably all kinds of gross to hide and masturbate in the bushes, but right now he doesn’t care. Right now his mind is set on one thing and one thing only – jacking off to a wet Rey.
~~ * ~~
Rey’s relishing the time away from camp - the coolness of the water, sun warming her skin.
It’s been nice getting back to nature for a bit, forgetting about her relationship and all the school dramas for a while. Most people, she imagines, would find assisting at a College camp with a hoard of hormonal adolescents a chore - but she really appreciates the distraction.
Sure the food isn’t great - and then there’s that alcohol ban - but a few nights without a glass of bubbles probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Nature is what Rey loves most, so she’s right at home here. The trees, the birds, the flow of the water through the rocks. This is where she truly feels alive.
She’d always dreamt of escaping the rat race of the city, of raising a hoard of children with her husband, but those dreams seemed so far away now.
Her mind wanders back to the last few years as she takes a break from swimming to move her towel to a large flat rock perfect for sunbaking. Rey knows it isn’t good to bake in the sun for too long, but she’s enjoying the serenity too much.
She’s relieved no-one else has disturbed her yet. She feared couples may come here to hang out or make out away from the gaze of teachers, but so far she’s been lucky.
This bikini is probably one of her skimpiest and likely not even appropriate for this kind of camp, but she’d decided if anyone ventured down to her secret spot, then she’d quickly cover up. The last thing she needed was unwanted attention from the boys at camp.
Don’t get her wrong, there were some gorgeous young men on this camp and that hadn’t gone unnoticed, but a teacher/student relationship just wasn’t on the cards right now. Even if he was old enough to consent, it just wasn’t something Rey wanted to get into. For now, she’d just have to admire from afar. Enjoy the view.
Having said that, there was one young man she’d found herself attracted to.
He was tall – really tall - and she liked that in a man, size difference and all that. But more than that, he intrigued her.
Dark eyes that saw right through you and a physique to die for, yet sadly she’d only ever managed a quick peek when he had his shirt off.
Rey stops herself there, knowing it’s dangerous territory to even be thinking about a student like this. Yet she couldn’t fight the fact she’d like to see more of him.
She’d never been with a younger man before and the thought excited her, eyes falling closed as she lay in the sun wondering if he was experienced in the bedroom. He’s a gorgeous guy, so she imagines he’s been with girls before and probably quite a few of them.
Paige for one. She’s always eyeing him off. And Ret gets it. Ben Solo is gorgeous.
Stop it she curses herself, finding it’s hard to stop her mind flicking back to imaginary images of her and Ben in bed together.
This was probably only happening because she hadn’t been with a man for a while. Because she’d been through a messy divorce and because lusting was easy. Maybe that’s why she was thinking of one of the students this way? After all, she didn’t even know much about Ben, except that he was from money.
But money was neither here nor there to Rey. Any man she started a relationship with in the future would have to have her best interests at heart – to love her and love her passionately, otherwise what was the point? She deserved at least that much.
~~ * ~~
The longer Ben watches, the more his cock aches. If he doesn’t whip it out and deal with it and soon, he’ll burst.
Rey’s laying down now, right in the sun, Ben letting his eyes rake over her tanned skin and the way it glows and glistens in the morning light.
He licks his lips. She’s fucking gorgeous.
His hand strokes long and slow and first, as he continues to tell himself how wrong this is. His eyes flutter closed each time his orgasm edges nearer, the intensity already more than he’s ever felt before.
She’s back in the water now and Ben watches her dip under to swim back toward the rocks. He’s certain she glances in his direction at one stage. He curses and prays she doesn’t spot him, hand still working his cock closer to release.
When he finally cums, he cums hard and all over his hand. Stray dribbles land in the dirt below where he’s crouched and he feels awful, dirty – like a stalker who perves on women and gets off in secret.
Truth is though, this isn’t about all women. It’s only about one woman.
Even so, this is not someone Ben Solo wants to be. He wants to be with her - not watching from afar. He wants his hands all over her body - not just stroking his cock to an empty release.
He wants so many things, yet in reality Rey would never go for a guy like him, probably doesn’t even know he exists.
As he’s wiping his hands on his jeans and struggling to stand on shaky legs, he looks in her direction and his heart almost stops.
She’s looking directly at him.
He freezes and they lock eyes, but unfortunately he’s not close enough to see the expression on her face.
Rey turns to face away from him, her hands now reaching behind her back.
Fuck.
What there was of her bikini top drops to the rock below and Ben is dumbstruck.
She knows he’s watching. And she just took her top off anyway. She wants him to see.
~~ * ~~
Rey hadn’t expected anyone to be hiding there, watching, least of all him - but she decides not to let an opportunity like this go to waste.
Pretending she hasn’t seen him she undoes her bikini top and lets it fall, tempted to turn around and show him what he’s missing out on - but judgement gets the better of her. This time.
She’d an adult and he’s still (in the legal sense), a child. And this was wrong. Ben could go back and tell the rest of camp, or worse, one of the other teachers and then she’d be in serious trouble.
Not only could she end up fired from a job she loved - she could end up behind bars.
No. Until she knew what his intentions really were, she’d just test the waters, pretend she didn’t know he was there. Give him little innocent glimpses and see if he made a move.
Rey was an adult. She could absolutely wait the rest of the school year to pursue this-
She just wasn’t sure Ben could.