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“I’m sorry, Junmyeon, but I can’t prescribe you with suppressants anymore.”
Junmyeon blinked, hands fisting the fabric of his jeans.
“Excuse me?”
His doctor sighed and took off his round glasses, placing them down on the office desk. “Junmyeon, do you realize just how much you have damaged your body? I have been your doctor for many years now and have basically watched you slowly kill yourself. I’m sorry, I won’t allow this to go any further.”
He frowned and lowered his gaze, glaring at the ground. He knew what this was doing to his health, the strain his body has been going through all these years, but there was no other choice.
An omega could never be a leader. Omegas weren’t meant for that.
This mere fact was only further proven when Luhan, Zitao, and Yifan left the group. At first, he had tried to put the blame on them, that it was their fault for being weak and giving up at the first difficulty, but deep down, Junmyeon knew the bitter truth. It was because of him that they left, because he wasn’t strong enough to prevent them from leaving, wasn’t a good leader—
What kind of leader allowed not one, not two, but three of their pack members to walk away?
After the three of them left, everyone was left broken and lost. Nobody knew how to fill in the void. So, that’s why Junmyeon swore to be there for all of his members, no matter what.
Omega Kim Junmyeon was dead before he even had any time to breathe upon this world.
“I understand,” he stood up and bowed deeply, “thank you for assisting me all these years and I apologize for the stress I might have put you through.” He said curtly and without waiting for any response, he exited the room.
As he made his way outside of the building, he pulled out his phone and opened up his chat with Seokjin.
Junmyeon
Jin, are you free tomorrow? Something came up and I need your help.
Seokjinnie
Sure, hyung, whatever you need! Do you wanna go grab lunch or something?
Junmyeon
It would be better if I just came to your dorm.
Seokjinnie
Okay! How does 11am sound to you? Are you free then?
Junmyeon
Yeah, it’s perfect. Thank you, Jin.
A small smile twitched on his lips at the smiley face Seokjin sent him. Junmyeon placed his phone back in his front pocket and sighed as he started making his way back to the dorm.
This morning he had taken his last suppressant, so he should be relatively okay for another day or two, but still, he couldn’t help but feel anxious that the others might be able to detect his natural omega scent. It has been so long, almost a decade, Junmyeon didn’t even remember how his natural scent was supposed to smell like.
And he was going to keep it that way.
As he arrived outside of the dorm, he took a deep breath and walked into the building. Thankfully, Sehun and Jongin were outside since this morning with some of their friend-hyungs from another group, so he didn’t need to worry about them.
“So, our leader finally decides to show up— honestly, for a moment I thought you got abducted by a crazy fan and considered calling the police, but then I remembered that you just walk like a grandpa.” Baekhyun snickered as he leaned against the wall next to the entrance.
Junmyeon clucked his tongue, avoiding immediate eye-contact as he willed his racing heart to calm down. “Even after all these years, I’m still being disrespected inside my own house. Unbelievable. And if I want to walk like a grandpa, then I’ll walk like a damn grandpa.”
He bent down to take his shoes off and flinched when he felt a hand squeeze his ass. He straightened up and turned to glare at Baekhyun’s amused face.
“What? Just because I’m an omega doesn’t mean I don’t want to tap that ass. Or anyone else’s, for that matter. I’m still a man, you know, and I still have certain needs.”
He scowled for a brief second and then grinned widely. “Is part of ‘Chanyeol, deeper, harder, give it to me, alpha, please’ also part of your manly needs?”
Baekhyun froze at his comment, his whole face flushing in embarrassment and he laughed as Baekhyun spluttered.
“You said that you were going to sleep!”
He snorted, Baekhyun trailing behind him as he stepped into the living room.
“I was sleeping, but someone decided to turn up the volume yesterday night and I had to kiss my sleep goodbye.”
Baekhyun mumbled incoherently under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a child. He rolled his eyes, but an amused smile stretched on his lips as he watched Baekhyun’s childish antics.
“What was that?”
Suddenly, Baekhyun turned towards him, eyes blazing and threw his hands in the air. “I said if you joined us, then you wouldn’t have to worry about sleep at all!”
A tense silence fell over and he gulped, averting his eyes. “I’m a beta, I don’t feel the need to—“
“Fuck being a beta! Fuck being anything at all! This isn’t about biological needs, hyung, it’s about human decency and the fact that we fucking miss you! And forget about sex, I get that you might not feel comfortable about that, but you barely even touch us anymore. I’m tired, hyung. We’re tired and we miss you. How can you be so selfish—“
“What is going on here?”
As Minseok’s voice cut through Baekhyun’s angry rant, Junmyeon thanked whatever celestial being there was for stepping in. He didn’t know if he would be able to handle any more of Baekhyun’s hurtful words. He was breathing heavily, struggling for oxygen. He felt like someone had stomped on his chest and was adding pressure, lungs, and ribs being crushed down, breaking.
“Nothing.” He wheezed, voice cracking. “It’s nothing.”
“Junmyeon, are you okay?” he heard Minseok’s concerned voice, but it was so far away, muffled.
“I’m fine. I’m good. I just. I’m just gonna go and take a shower, get out of your feet.”
“Hyung, I’m—“
Junmyeon didn’t wait for Baekhyun to finish, passing by the two of them and hastily making his way towards his room. Once inside, he locked the door and slumped against it, legs trembling.
When he was under the spray of the scorching water, Junmyeon rubbed on his skin until it was an angry red, numb with pain.
He couldn’t afford to slip up.
The next day, Junmyeon left early from the dorm. He made sure to sneak outside without getting noticed by anyone, not even Minseok, who tended to wake up early. It was a nice day outside, sun shining high up in the sky with no cloud to be seen, so he decided to take the public train.
Once he arrived at the dorm, before he had any time to knock, the door was swung open and he found himself squeezed against a strong chest and a soothing scent.
“Hyung, you’re finally here! It’s been so long since we last met, how are you?”
He smiled at Seokjin’s excited voice and finally allowed himself to relax, slumping forward into Seokjin’s embrace, tension leaving from his body.
“I have been better, but it’s so good to see you, Jin, hyung missed you.”
Seokjin pulled away and flashed him a smile. “Come on, let’s get inside, I even baked you your favorite cookies!” Seokjin took his hand and guided him inside.
“The ones with chocolate chips?”
“Yeah, I thought I’d be a nice way to cheer you up. Your message gave me a fright yesterday, so I didn’t know what to expect.”
He sighed as he sat on the spacious couch in the living room and drew his knees close to his chest, watching Seokjin walk over to the kitchen.
“It’s…it’s nothing major, I just need your help with something. A tiny favor.”
Seokjin quirked an eyebrow as he placed the tray of freshly baked cookies at the low table in front of them and then joined him on the couch. “What kind of favor?”
Junmyeon reached forward, grabbed a cookie and took a large bite, humming at the familiar, sweet taste. He quickly finished it and then turned towards Seokjin, eyes settling on the fuzzy sweater the younger was wearing.
He was such a coward.
“I just…I ran out of suppressants yesterday and I was hoping if you could give me some? I promise to make it up to you.” He answered and after a few seconds of silence, he lifted his eyes and gulped at Seokjin’s scowl.
“Why didn’t you just go to your doctor as usual?”
Junmyeon fiddled with his nails, lowering his gaze yet again. “I did, I went to him yesterday but he…he said that he wouldn’t prescribe me with any more suppressants.” He took Seokjin’s hand in his, holding it tightly. “So, please…please can you give me some of your own?”
His chest tightened painfully as he heard Seokjin sigh heavily.
“Hyung, Junmyeon-hyung, please look at me.” Seokjin pleaded, voice soft, never judging and he obeyed, meeting Seokjin’s fond and sad eyes.
“Did your doctor say something about your health? Is that why he couldn’t prescribe you with any more suppressants?”
He pressed his mouth into a tight line and after a few seconds, gave a small nod. Seokjin whispered ‘come here’ and wrapped his arms around Junmyeon’s smaller frame, pulling him against his chest. He felt fingers threading through his hair, massaging his scalp.
“Then you know that I can’t give you any suppressants either. This is no laughing matter, hyung, it’s about your health and I know how bad it can get. I used to think the same way as you, you know? Thought that as the older one in the group, I couldn’t afford to be weak and vulnerable, everything an omega was, but trying to deny it was slowly killing me.
Whereas I was only doing that for a few years, you have been doing this for what, almost a decade? Hyung, I’m, I’m scared for you. You might feel fine now, but what if something happens? Something that we might not be able to prevent?”
Before it’s too late.
Seokjin was slightly trembling against him and he felt guilt and shame burning low in his chest. He hated this, absolutely hated that Seokjin was right, but at the same time so wrong. He couldn’t. Nobody understood that there was no other way. He couldn’t lose anyone else because of his own weaknesses.
“Being an omega cost me three of my pack mates. Because of my weakness, of my inability to help them, they left. I’m sorry, Jin, but there’s no other way. If…if you can’t help me, then I’ll have to find another way.” Junmyeon stated, voice muffled against Seokjin’s chest.
After a few minutes of silence, he felt Seokjin sag against him in defeat.
“Fine,” Seokjin said, voice small. “Okay, I will give you what you want, but please, please promise me that you’ll put an end to this soon. What happened wasn’t your fault, it couldn’t be helped. Stop punishing yourself for something that was out of your reach.”
He merely closed his eyes, huddling closer to Seokjin, basking into the familiar and comforting presence. He allowed himself to be held, allowed himself to have this small moment of closure. He didn’t deserve it, but at least Seokjin would never judge him because to a degree, he knew how it felt like.
Knew how broken and damaged beyond repair he was.
When Junmyeon finally returned back from to his own dorm, it was nighttime, the sun had long since moved behind the hilltops, leaving the night sky in its wake. He had overstayed his welcome, but Seokjin didn’t seem to mind much, was actually happy to have him over, so he prolonged the inevitable conformation as much as possible.
As he walked inside the building, he softly closed the front door behind him, making sure not to alert anyone in case they were still awake in their rooms. He hadn’t informed anyone this morning about where he was going, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Minseok or Kyungsoo were waiting for him to return in order to scold him.
Although, as he stepped into the living room, he certainly didn’t expect everyone to be up and waiting for his return.
“You do know what time it is, don’t you.”
He shivered at the low tone of Minseok’s voice, piercing eyes staring right into his soul. As he let his eyes roam around the room, he realized that every single member was glaring at him with fire in their eyes.
“No calls, no texts, no nothing. You went god knows where, didn’t inform anyone about it and just up and left.” Minseok leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “Is that any behavior for a leader?”
The words pierced through him like knives and he bit down on his lower lip, preventing any pathetic sound from escaping. He clutched his bag tighter, the bag that contained the suppressants Seokjin had given him. No matter what he tried to do, he only made things worse.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have been the leader in the first place?
Suddenly, Sehun stood up and slowly walked towards him, sniffing the air. He took a step back but Sehun’s hands on his shoulders stopped him, grounding him in place. The younger omega leaned in, nosed his collarbone and let out a growl.
“Why do you smell like another omega?”
He tensed up, blood freezing in his veins as he stared dumbly into Sehun’s narrowed eyes.
Had the effect of the suppressant worn off without him realizing and started smelling like an omega? Since when? It wasn’t possible, the suppressants always worked for a few days, there was no way this could be happening—
“Are we not good enough for you? Is that why you never let us touch you? Let us near you?” Sehun shook his head, voice trembling. “I-I won’t let you, you’re, you’re ours, we won’t let anyone else have you. Please, I can’t l-lose you, hyung.”
His eyes went round, chest clenching as a tear slid down Sehun’s cheek. He lifted his trembling arms, taking Sehun’s face into his hands. “Hey, hey, please don’t cry, I’m not seeing anyone, I swear, you guys are the only ones for me. I promise.”
“Then, where were you? And why do you reek of omega?”
He jerked at the new voice behind him and glanced over his shoulder, Kyungsoo’s dark eyes staring back at him.
“I was at Seokjin’s…it had been a while since we last met, so I thought I’d be nice to go visit him.” He explained, voice barely above a whisper.
Kyungsoo hummed and raked his nails lightly over Junmyeon’s nape, the act sending shivers down his spine. “That doesn’t explain why you smell like you showered in his scent, or why you never even bothered to inform us. Do we need to remind you who you belong to, beta?”
He let out a soft whimper as the nails dug into the back of his neck.
Beta.
That’s what he was ever going to be. A fake, pitiful excuse of a failure beta wanna-be. Neither an omega nor a beta. He was nothing, absolutely nothing. He didn’t deserve to be treated in any way.
Oh, but how he longed to be pushed down on his knees, to be bent over for all of them to take, to claim, and for him to return the favor.
But he couldn’t, not now, not ever.
“Stop, stop it, you’re hurting him!”
Jongin’s distressed voice snapped him out of his thoughts and immediately felt himself being engulfed by warmness, face pushed against a strong chest. As he slowly came back to it, he noticed that his eyes were glassy from tears, body trembling.
“Shh, it’s okay, hyung, we aren’t mad at you, we were just worried. C’mon, let me get you into bed.” Jongin whispered reassuringly, planting a small kiss on the top of his head.
Junmyeon allowed himself to be guided upstairs, into his room and be pushed gently into bed. A few seconds later, Jongin joined him, hugging him from behind, wrapping his bigger body around his smaller one. Soon, the comforting and familiar scent of alpha lulled him to sleep.
When Junmyeon woke up, he felt like he was impaled by a truck. He groaned and wiggled away from Jongin’s hold on him and stumbled into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him. He gripped the sink tightly, supporting his weight on it and glanced up at his reflection. He winced as he took in the dark bags under his eyes, face pale, exhaustion written all over his features.
Then, he started coughing, but it only escalated and hunched over the sink, gagging as he struggled for oxygen. After the violent coughing fit passed and he calmed down, his eyes widened at the red liquid in the sink.
“Hyung, are you okay in there? I heard you coughing.”
He jerked as he heard Jongin’s muffled voice come behind the door and opened the tap, frantically cleaning away any evidence of the blood in the sink and rinsing his mouth from the metallic taste.
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Jongin, no need to worry.” He responded and for a few seconds, Jongin remained silent.
“If you say so. Also, um, today is our day off and I was thinking of going out with Baekhyun-hyung and Jongdae-hyung, would you…would you like to join us?”
Junmyeon closed his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. He only wanted to crawl back under the covers of his bed and sleep for the next 24 hours, but he knew that in order not to raise any more suspicions, he would have to go out with them, no matter how risky it would be.
“Okay.” He cleared his sore throat, wetting his chapped lips. “Okay, I’ll come with you. Either way, I’m craving for some crepe today.”
He felt like he would throw up any kind of food that was to come in contact with his tongue.
“I’ll let you get prepared and I’ll go inform the hyungs!” Jongin exclaimed and walked away, the sound of the door closing indicating that he had left the room.
Junmyeon quickly took a thorough shower, rubbing all over his skin, making sure that there were no omega pheromones clinging onto him, returning back to the neutral, dull scent of a beta.
When he walked outside of his room, he expected the interrogation session from yesterday to continue, but to his astonishment, everybody acted like nothing had happened, like Junmyeon hadn’t ignored and neglected them for a whole day. Even Baekhyun seemed to have reverted back into his usual, playful self, completely forgotten about their confrontation not too long ago. Their strange behavior only fueled Junmyeon’s stress levels higher, but if they wanted to act as nothing had happened, he was more than welcome to act accordingly.
The day went by uneventful and quite joyful. Despite Baekhyun’s and Jongin’s clingy nature, they gave him his space, and Jongdae kept himself at a respectable distance, not too far away, but not close enough to evade his private space, either. All in all, he had a great time, laughing and watching his pack mates goof around, all of his worries forgotten.
Until his condition started getting worse, body feeling heavier and heavier, struggling to drag his legs to take further steps. He tried to hide it as much as he could, but at one point his vision started getting blurry, panting and swaying from side to side.
“I…I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be r-right back.” He announced quickly and without waiting for any response, he made his way towards the public toilets.
He locked himself in a stall and took off his jacket, struggling to breathe normally. Everything was burning up, boiling, body scorching up in flames. Was the weather today hotter than he had anticipated? Perhaps he shouldn’t have worn such warm clothes—
Suddenly, as he felt the wetness between his thighs, his face paled at the realization.
Junmyeon was going into heat.
A wave of pleasure wracked through his entire body, more slick coating the inside of his thighs, staining his jeans and he slapped a hand over his mouth, letting out a muffled whimper.
No, no, no, no, why was this happening? He had taken his suppressant today, there was no way he could have gone into heat. Junmyeon hasn’t gone into a fucking heat for years, why now? His eyes widened in horror as he realized that the room was filled with thick omega pheromones and if anyone were to step in, they would immediately be hit with the overwhelming scent. What if Baekhyun, Jongdae or Jongin decided to check up on him?
He fumbled, reaching for his phone inside the pocket of his discarded jacket and with shaky hands dialed Seokjin’s number. He squeezed his eyes shut, clutching the phone close to his ear as he pleaded for Seokjin to pick up.
“Hey, hyung, what’s—“
“Jin! P-Please, help me, o-oh god, please help me, I, I’m going into h-heat and I don’t know what to d-do. I’m so s-scared and the others are outside, p-please—“
“Hyung, calm down, listen to me.”
“—it’s too much, I can’t, please, I can’t do this—“
“Junmyeon, calm down!”
He whined as Seokjin ordered him and he complied, biting down on his lower lip harshly, stopping his rant.
“Junmyeon, I want you to listen to me very carefully and follow each order through, okay?” Seokjin stated through the phone, tone soft but firm, no room for any arguments.
He nodded, croaking out ‘okay’ and Seokjin continued. “I want you to stay exactly where you are and open up your GPS. I will track you down through my phone, come get you and take you back to my dorm, alright? Can you do that for me?”
“Y-Yeah…” he quickly followed through with Seokjin’s instructions, making his location available for the other to detect. “Jin, p-please, hurry up, please…”
“Shh, just take deep breaths, that’s right, in and out, that’s my good omega.”
He whimpered at the praise and tried to shift into a more comfortable position, letting out a moan as his hard cock rubbed against the fabric of his jeans.
Junmyeon didn’t notice how quickly the time passed, sprawled onto the cold floor, whimpering and moaning in pain, mind going fuzzy until he heard frantic knocks on the door outside.
“Junmyeon, please open up, it’s me.”
Seokjin’s stressed voice came through the door and he tried to stand up but failed, and instead reached up with his hand and unlocked the door. Immediately, he felt a long coat being dropped on his shoulders, followed with strong arms lifting him up into bridal style.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, the others don’t know anything, hyung, you’re safe with me,” Seokjin whispered and he buried his face into Seokjin’s neck, nuzzling him.
Before he knew it, he was being laid down onto a soft mattress and felt hands shaking his shoulders, so he tried to focus on the muffled voice.
“—have a few heat toys for you, you can use them okay? I’ll be right next door, in case something happens.”
Red lights started flaring up in his brain as the comforting presence started pulling away and he latched onto it, whimpering and whining, weakly pulling them back to him. “N-No, please, d-don’t go, don’t leave me a-alone, I’m, I’m scared, p-please.”
“Okay, okay, darling, I’m going to help you with your heat, alright? I’m going to take care of you.”
Junmyeon passed that week half being unconscious, and when he wasn’t, he was too lost into the high of pain and pleasure of his heat to realize what was happening. It was on the afternoon of a Saturday when Junmyeon woke up with his senses, exhausted to the bone and spent.
He blinked several times, trying to adjust his eyes to the light and pushed himself into a sitting position. He scowled as he observed the unfamiliar room he was in, and before he could jump into any conclusions, Seokjin walked through the door.
“Oh, hyung, you’re awake— how are you feeling? Do you feel pain anywhere? Nausea? Dizziness?”
He opened his mouth to respond, but noticed that his throat and mouth were dry and sore, and mouthed ‘water’ to Seokjin, who quickly complied, giving him a bottle of water. Once he had downed it, he turned to Seokjin, confusion written all over his face.
“Jin, what happened? Where am I? Is this your room?”
Momentarily, Seokjin’s eyes widened in shock, but then he sat down next to him, letting out a bitter chuckle. “You don’t remember anything, do you? Well, you were too out of it every time you woke up during this week, I would be surprised if you did remember anything.”
Junmyeon frowned and lowered his gaze into his lap, wracking his brain for his most recent memories, trying to remember what exactly had taken place for Seokjin to look so distressed.
The last thing he remembered was him going out with Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Jongin, but at one point he had started getting sick…?
“No…” he breathed, snapping his eyes upwards, but his suspicion only got further proven when he met Seokjin’s sad and apologetic eyes. “Oh, god no. No, no, no, no.”
“Junmyeon-hyung, it’s okay—“
“No, no it fucking isn’t!” he snapped, making Seokjin flinch back and felt guilt coil in his chest. “I took advantage of you while I— jesus, you have a fucking pack, and I, you,” he stuttered, pulling at his hair. “What, what did I do to you? Did I…force you into anything?”
Seokjin shook his head, “No, you didn’t force me into anything. And we didn’t have sex, if that’s what you want to know. I just…assisted you in taking care of your heat. With the toys.”
He let out a shaky breath as he let the words sink in, realizing what he had done. He had selfishly taken advantage of Seokjin to satisfy his own needs, and was probably so out of it and delirious, that Seokjin had no other choice but to help him.
God, it was so fucked up, he was so fucked up.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, fuck. I’ll, I’ll just go, get this mess out of your way.” He slid off the bed and wobbled as he tried to stand straight, legs still weak.
Seokjin shot up, coming to his side. “Wait, you can’t leave yet, the others—“
Junmyeon felt like his breath was punched out of him at the mention of his pack. A week. He had been away for a whole fucking week, they must have definitely realized what went on.
“Hyung, calm down, your pack hasn’t suspected anything. I already informed them that you were severely sick and that you preferred to stay away from them in order not to expose them to your sickness.” Seokjin explained.
He stared down at the ground, shame and guilt piercing his chest like a thousand knives. What a loving and caring hyung he was, being so fucking thoughtful.
Seokjin convinced him to stay over for another day and to return on Sunday, when the remnants of his heat would have passed by entirely, with no trace of omega left on him. When it was time for him to return, Seokjin grabbed his elbow tightly, expression hard and set, focused.
“Junmyeon, you need to tell them.”
“What? You know I can’t do that, and what happened this week only proves that—“
Seokjin shook his head, adding pressure to his grip. “What happened this week is exactly why you must tell them. Hyung, don’t you realize? You’re dying. You need to tell them, and if you refuse to do it, then I will. You have one week until then. I’m sorry.”
And as Seokjin softly closed the door, Junmyeon felt the first tear roll down his cheek.
He was alone.
When Junmyeon returned home, everyone fretted over him. It was only logical that they would, as he had disappeared in the middle of the day with no explanations and showed up a week later. Besides being worried, they were also mad at him. Especially Minseok. Eventually, things died down and things returned back to how they used to be. Although, after the sudden heat and with Seokjin’s threat, he started being more paranoid and stressed.
During the next week, he couldn’t even sleep more than a few hours, waking up drenched in cold sweat, either from nightmares or from the strong urge to throw up his stomach’s contents.
On the third day of the week, he almost had a heart attack from Minseok’s sudden comment.
“Junmyeon, why do you have suppressants in your room?”
He went rigid, a lump forming in his throat as Minseok leaned against the kitchen counter, studying him with an unreadable expression. Junmyeon felt his blood rush to his ears, heart pounding loud against his chest. Had Minseok figured it out? Would he only make his situation worse if he lied? No, from the way Minseok stated his question, he hadn’t made the connection.
“Jin probably misplaced them in my bag when I was at his place. This past week went by so fast and most of the time I was out of it, being sick and all, so it’s possible I didn’t notice it either,” he answered, feeling cold sweat running down his forehead.
Minseok hummed, but kept boring his eyes into him, expression remaining neutral, unsettling. Neither he nor Minseok were dumb and had no intention of pretending. He knew that the elder had suspected something, had been for a while now and if not for the truth, then something close to it. Still, Junmyeon had less than five days to reveal his secret to his pack and had no idea if he could actually do it.
“Perhaps I should return his suppressants, I’m sure he’ll need them.” He considered, nursing the cup of hot coffee in his hands.
And maybe persuade him not to reveal to the others that I’m an omega.
“Perhaps you should,” Minseok mused, something flashing through his eyes but it disappeared as soon as it came.
It’s Saturday when shit hits the fan.
As the days progressed, Junmyeon had gotten worse. On Thursday, he was struggling to get up from the bed. On Friday, he was coughing up streams of blood into the sink.
On Saturday, he collapsed.
He would only lie to himself if he said that he hadn’t seen this coming, but it still came as a shock to him when he woke up disoriented into an unfamiliar white room.
“I see you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?”
Junmyeon turned his head to the side, eyes settling on an unfamiliar man clad in a white coat.
“W-Who,” he licked his dry lips, throat sore, “who are you? Where am I?”
“You are at Seoul’s local hospital and have been unconscious for two days now.” The man informed him, looking impassively down at him.
His eyes widened, lips opening and closing, yet no words left his mouth. How the fuck had that even happened? He was just fine—
Images of him hacking violently into the sink filled his mind, red dripping from his chin, the metallic taste invading his taste buds.
“A few very distressed men brought you here a week ago, begging us to help you, but when we asked them what was wrong, they had no idea. Of course, after we ran a few tests, we found the reason behind your terrible condition, yet these young men who claimed to be your pack, knew nothing of it.”
He clenched his jaw, averting his eyes from the man’s— the doctor’s judgmental and accusatory gaze. Junmyeon remained silent. There was nothing he could say to defend himself or his actions. He knew what he was getting himself into all those years ago, but he didn’t regret it. It was something that had to be done. He didn’t regret it.
He didn’t.
“Tomorrow you’ll be discharged and taken back to your home. Your pack doesn’t know yet about your condition, as they weren’t allowed to come near you. We didn’t want to risk your body getting exposed to all those pheromones, as there were chances that it might have triggered a heat. Suspecting from the fact that you had a heat while on suppressants and alongside not having spent a heat normally in almost a decade, we can’t tell you how your cycle will develop. You’ll have to let it run its course and considering you’ll spend a heat normally after so long, you’ll need to be extra careful.”
He thickly gulped, heart stuttering in his chest. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would have to tell them everything and there was nothing he could do to stop it this time.
It was good while it lasted, while he lasted with them.
Junmyeon didn’t know how much time he had spent across the building in which they all stayed in, just standing there, studying every little detail that he had failed to notice before. For it might be the last time he takes a look at this very building.
His home.
He checked his phone and realized that almost twenty minutes had passed since he was dropped off. He had no choice, couldn’t prolong it any longer no matter how much he wished to. He raised his arm and sniffed his forearm, nose wrinkling at the omega scent that filled his nostrils. So, that’s how he smelled, like the burning wood of a fireplace in a cold winter night, comforting and grounding.
Junmyeon snorted and started walking forward. He hadn’t entered the building, was out of range, but it was like he could sense the raging pheromones of his pack. Just as he stopped outside of the door that led into their apartment, his phone started vibrating inside his front pocket, muffled voices coming through the door.
“Are you sure he got discharged an hour ago?”
“I already told you, Chanyeol, I fucking called the hospital and confirmed it five minutes ago!”
“Then why the fuck isn’t he here yet?!”
He let out a shaky breath, body feeling heavy and opened the door. As he made his way down the hallway towards the living room, the arguing slowly died down, having heard him. Once he stepped into the living room, there was a moment of complete silence and he used it to take a good look at them.
Sehun’s and Jongin’s eyes were red and puffy, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Jongdae looked thinner, weak, Minseok and Kyungsoo had dark circles under their eyes, their hunched postures screaming exhaustion and defeat.
He was the cause of that.
“Hyung.”
Sehun spoke in a soft tone, weak and meek. The youngest omega took a timid step towards him and by instinct, he took one back. Hurt flashed in Sehun’s eyes and stopped, letting out a low whimper at the rejection.
Immediately, he felt the shift in the atmosphere, pheromones filling the room and his senses, making his legs weak. Anger, hurt, longing, relief.
“Hyung, Junmyeon-hyung, are…are you okay now? You…you gave us quite a fright the other day,” Jongin laughed nervously, hand trembling as he swiped his hair back from his forehead, “but you’re, you’re fine now, right? I mean, they let you out, so you must be fine, right?”
Jongin stared at him with pleading, scared and hopeful eyes. He knew that Jongin must have been furious— is furious, all of them have the right to be, but he always put Junmyeon’s well-being first before anything.
He truly didn’t deserve them.
“I’m sorry.” He said instead, surprised at how small and croaky his voice sounded.
“Sorry? Are you sorry for avoiding us? For scaring us to death? For all these years of feeling like you don’t fucking want us?” Kyungsoo shot back, eyes blazing and it felt like knives piercing through his heart, stabbing him again and again.
“Kyungsoo, stop it, can’t you see he’s—“
“I’m tired! I’m tired and terrified out of my fucking mind— we all thought we were going to lose him that day he collapsed, don’t try to deny it, Jongdae, and I just. I just want to fucking get him back.”
‘Get him back.’
Kyungsoo said it as if they had lost him. Had they? Had Junmyeon, through his actions, made them believe that he didn’t want them anymore?
A mate’s rejection is the worst pain.
“There are no excuses for what I did. I have just realized how my selfish actions may have hurt you, but I…I only ever wanted what was best for you. After Luhan, Zitao, and Yifan left,” he noticed how everyone tensed at the mention of these names, “I couldn’t be weak, couldn’t be vulnerable. You needed someone that would be with you at all times, ready to provide you with any support you might need. I had to be the leader that his pack needed, so I…I did what was necessary.”
Silence followed and noticed Minseok shift, cautiously pushing himself to full height. “Junmyeon. Junmyeon, what did you do?”
He lowered his eyes to the ground, pheromones of pure fear now filling the room.
“I tried, tried to be what you wanted, what you needed, yet I was incapable of doing even that one thing. An omega should have never been allowed to become the leader.”
Time seemed to freeze, the deafening silence should have made him trembling with anxiety, but at his point, he didn’t care what would become of him. He was so, so exhausted, he just wanted this to end.
“I probably should have never agreed to it, either, I don’t know what they saw in me back then, but they obviously had overestimated my abilities. I tried to be a beta, but I failed. To be honest, I don’t even remember how to be an omega, so I guess…I guess I’m nothing.” He let out an ugly, bitter laugh and shook his head.
A sad smile formed on his lips. “I’ll understand if you don’t want me around anymore, either way, it wouldn’t really change anything."
There was a choked cry and he lifted his head, eyes widening at the sight in front of him.
Sehun was outright sobbing, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, struggling to retrain himself from flinging forward. Jongin, as well as Chanyeol, with silent tears running down their cheeks, looking devastated. Baekhyun seemed like he was struggling to hold back his tears, hurt written all over his features, with Jongdae clutching onto him tightly, like he would collapse at any given moment. Similarly, Minseok and Kyungsoo looked like they were struggling to hold back their tears, but fire burning into their eyes as they glared at him.
Another choked sob made him move forward, chest clenching painfully as he took Sehun into his arms, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. Sehun immediately curled his body around him, pressing his face into the juncture of his neck. Junmyeon felt Sehun starting to scent him, letting out soft whimpers.
“Y-You’re an idiot, a complete f-fucking idiot. You, you think we ever c-cared about something as trivial as t-that? Your biology doesn’t define y-you, never will, you aren’t omega K-Kim Junmyeon or beta Kim Junmyeon, y-you are just Kim Junmyeon, the best f-fucking leader and hyung anyone could have asked for.” Sehun stated, leaning back to stare into his eyes.
“We love you for you, no omega or beta bullshit. It’s okay to ask for help, hyung, it’s okay to seek us out for support, you don’t have to shoulder everything on your own and feel like it’s your fault. Please, lean on us.” Chanyeol professed as he came forward, nosing against Junmyeon’s head, fingers rubbing low on his back.
His breath hitched, tears brimming into his eyes. “I—“
Minseok took his face into his hands, making him look into his eyes. “No more words, no more objections. From now on, you’ll let us help you and be there for you. It’s time we take care of you. Let go, Jun. Let go.”
His lower lips quivered and Minseok smiled fondly as his eyes started to sting. The first tear slipped and the rest followed like an endless stream. He sobbed and wailed his heart out, wrapped around in his pack’s safe and comforting presence.
He finally belonged, had found himself.
Junmyeon was home.
(Bonus)
His heat came exactly three days later. Junmyeon knew that it was bound to happen, even so, that didn’t stop him from feeling anxious.
As he slowly started regaining consciousness, the first thing he noticed was his body burning up as if he had a fever, sweat sticking his strands of hair onto his forehead. After a few seconds, he noticed that his body was trembling and aching, slick already having coated his thighs and pants. The second thing was that he woke up alone. It was shocking, considering they had all started sleeping in the same king-sized bed they owned (which was slightly uncomfortable, but Junmyeon forgot any bit of discomfort when he was surrounded by his loving pack).
He shifted, trying to push himself into a sitting position and moaned as his leaking cock brushed against his pants. Omega pheromones were filling up the room, and he knew that with each passing second, he was falling deeper and deeper into the familiar, yet terrifying fuzzy mindset.
Junmyeon tried calling for the others in hopes of someone being close enough to hear him, but his voice was hoarse and weak. He cursed as another wave wracked down his spine, his body producing more fluid, feeling it drip slide his thigs.
Suddenly, gentle hands were touching his shoulders, turning him around. “Hyung, can you hear me? Are you with me?”
He nodded, lifting his own hand to grab Jongin’s bicep. “I-I’m going into heat, Jongin, y-you need to, I want—“ he let out a choked moan as the urge got stronger, his hole clenching pathetically around nothing.
Immediately, his nose was filled with alpha pheromones and noticed that Jongin’s eyes had darkened, cock already starting to strain against his pants.
“What about the others? Don’t they need—“
He shook his head, getting impatient. “I-I don’t think I can…wait for much longer, I need you now.”
Jongin gulped and nodded. He leaned back, quickly taking off his clothes and then helped Junmyeon out of his own clothes. Soon, Jongin had Junmyeon laid under him and had captured his lips into a hungry kiss, tongues sliding against each other messily.
He slid his hands behind Jongin’s back, nails digging into the soft skin and groaned as Jongin rolled his hips, their cocks sliding together. Jongin bit down on Junmyeon’s lower lip and pulled at it, eliciting a whine from the other.
“Turn around.”
He shivered and scrambled to obey, turning his body around, stomach flat on the mattress, and pushed up his hips. He jerked as Jongin chuckled, his breath fanning over Junmyeon’s back.
“Somebody’s eager.” Jongin mused and left a trail of kisses down his spine.
He huffed out half in embarrassment and frustration, but at this point he was too horny to fucking care and just lowered his upper body down to the bed, arching his back. “G-God, if you don’t fuck me in the next minute I will do it myself.”
Finally, finally, he felt fingers slide up against his thighs, taking as much slick as possible, and then the first finger was pushed into him. He let out a long, content sigh at finally having something inside him. Although, Jongin was taking it too fucking slow, and after five minutes of torture did he decide to push in a second finger.
He whined in frustration, pushing his hips back to meet Jongin’s thrusts, but a hand on the low of his back stopped him, holding him in place.
“Hyung, please try to be more patient, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m fine, I’m ready for another, please add another, I can take it, just—“ his breath hitched as another finger was added, now three pumping in and out of him in a fast pace.
After a thorough stretching of four fingers, Jongin pulled them out and replaced his fingers with his cock, carefully sliding in. Junmyeon cried out, hands fisting the covers bellow as the head of Jongin’s cock breached his entrance. Agonizingly slow, Jongin pushed his cock inside until he bottomed out and waited, allowing Junmyeon to get adjusted.
“M-Move, oh god, fucking move.”
Jongin merely grunted in response and pulled back, sliding out until the head was at the entrance and then slammed forward. Junmyeon made a strangled noise, knees buckling. Jongin started pounding into him fast, leaving him incapable of doing anything else besides moan and take it as he fucked him into the mattress.
“Oh, look who started without us already. Naughty boys.”
Junmyeon tried to reply, but only moans spilled from his mouth as Jongin continued fucking him into a brutal pace.
“Look at him, he’s so far gone, he can’t even form words. How cute.” He heard Baekhyun say from somewhere in the room.
“Jongdae, get in front of Junmyeon. Chanyeol, get ready, what Junmyeon right now needs is to be knotted.” Minseok ordered.
As the bed dipped in front of him, he whimpered as Jongin shifted and started hitting his prostrate straight on every time he thrusted.
A hand grabbed his chin and turned his head upwards, teary eyes meeting Jongdae’s wide grin. “Is Jonginnie making you feel good? Filling you up just how you like, hyung?” Jongdae said, stroking his chin.
He weakly nodded and nuzzled against Jongdae’s palm, earning a chuckle from the man in front of him. “Do you want me to fill you up from this side too? It would be a shame to let such pretty mouth go to waste, isn’t that right?” He nodded eagerly, mouth watering at the sight of Jongdae’s leaking cock.
“Open up for me, hyung,” Jongdae whispered and pressed his cock against his cheek, smearing the pre-cum on him.
Junmyeon obeyed, opened his mouth wide and Jongdae slid in fully, Junmyeon’s nose pressing up against Jongdae’s groin. As Jongdae started moving, he felt Jongin still behind him, and he moaned loudly around Jongdae’s dick as Jongin’s knot caught on his entrance, stretching him impossibly wide.
He placed his hands on Jongdae’s thighs, nails digging into the soft skin as Jongin started grinding against him, pushing his knot even deeper. Then, Jongdae grabbed his head and started fucking into his mouth fast. He gagged as Jongdae’s cock occasionally hit the back of his neck, spit dripping from his lips and felt as dirty as it could get, but he fucking loved it.
A low moan from Jongin was the only warning he got before Jongin was spilling into him, knotting him and filling him up with his cum. Junmyeon quivered, tears brimming into his eyes and at the same time, Jongdae came with a shout, stilling. He trembled, whining as he was filled from both sides and his orgasm took over him like shockwaves, spilling into the mattress untouched.
For a few minutes, everything went hazy. He knew that the others were talking to him, but it was only background noise, the voices buzzing against his ears. As he slowly came back to it, he noticed that Jongdae had moved away, yet Jongin was still inside of him, draped over him and placing butterfly kisses all over his back. He giggled at the sensation, feeling floaty.
Suddenly, he felt hands cup his cheeks and looked up, eyes meeting Minseok’s fond smile. “How are you feeling, Jun?”
He grinned widely, heart fluttering as he puckered his lips and Minseok laughed, leaning down to connect their lips into a soft kiss.
“I’m feelin’ so good, so nice, it’s like I’m high, hyung.” He stated and then scowled. “Did Jongdae’s dick make me high?” He heard a loud laugh come from somewhere in the room and Minseok shook his head in amusement, thumbing at his cheek. “No, Jun, Jongdae’s dick didn’t make you high, you’re in sub drop, it’s nothing to worry about.”
He blinked, let out an ‘ooh’ and then blinked again.
“I like it…makes my mind all fuzzy and just. Blank. No worries. No nothing.” He confessed.
“Jun, I’ll need you to focus on me for a little bit, okay? Can you do that?”
Junmyeon hummed, eyes fluttering as he focused back on Minseok. “Your heat still hasn’t broken through, so Chanyeol is going to help you now. Is that alright with you?”
As he wrapped his head around the words, he nodded, mumbling out a ‘yes, please’ and Minseok smiled, leaning in and giving him one last swift kiss before pulling away. Before he knew it, he was being manhandled and made to straddle Chanyeol’s strong thighs.
“Hey there, handsome.” A wide grin stretched on Chanyeol’s lips and Junmyeon returned it. “Are you ready to go for a ride?”
He giggled and a groan was heard from somewhere behind him, which turned into a moan and then leaned forward. He crashed his lips against Chanyeol’s, kissing sloppily and clumsily, teeth clicking and tongues brushing. Then, he pulled back, placed his left hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder to steady himself and grabbed Chanyeol’s cock with the other, positioning it against his hole. Slowly, he sank down, biting down harshly at his lower lip, letting out a strangled moan at the burning and sweet stretch. Once he was filled to the hilt, Chanyeol placed his hands on Junmyeon’s hips and then started thrusting up at him.
He heard a moan come from his side and turned his head, keening as he saw Sehun laying on his back, legs spread as Kyungsoo was nestled between them, fucking into him and Baekhyun seated behind Kyungsoo, his cock buried into the beta.
“They look pretty, don’t they?” Chanyeol whispered against his ear and he nodded, shivering.
Then, without warning, Chanyeol snapped his hips sharply and he cried out, arching his back. Junmyeon tried to follow Chanyeol’s brutal pace, but his thighs trembled and ached as he tried to bounce on the younger’s lap. He just leaned forward, burying his face into the juncture of Chanyeol’s neck, nibbling on the skin there and took it, hard and fast.
“O-Oh fuck, oh, jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, Chanyeol, Alpha—“ he mewled, the obscene squelching sound of skin slapping against skin, cock ramming into his wet and abused hole feeling the room, followed by loud moans and grunts.
His dick was hard once again, bopping against his belly at every thrust. As Chanyeol became sloppier, he realized that he was nearing and after a few thrusts, Chanyeol stilled, knot catching on his entrance. With a low growl, Chanyeol came, spilling his knot inside him, filling him up alongside Jongin’s.
He leaned forward and captured Chanyeol’s lips with his own, lazily kissing and moving their lips as they were going to stay locked together for quite a while. Time passed quickly as they sat there, softly kissing and then another warm body pressed up behind him, lips pressing against his neck and he melted.
“You’re still hard, Myeonnie.” Baekhyun purred against his ear and his body jerked as Baekhyun wrapped around the base of his cock. “Can you get up? I wanna eat the cum out of your ass and Sehun wants to suck you dry.”
He let out a loud moan at that and Baekhyun snickered behind him. They tried to gently pry him off Chanyeol’s dick, his knot having gone down, making it possible to slip out. Then, Baekhyun pushed him down on his back and spread his legs. He flushed, panting heavily as he could feel cum dripping down his hole and Baekhyun licked his lips as he eyed him. He darted down and Junmyeon felt a tongue scoop away the cum that was licking, the sensation on his sensitive hole making him squirm. Baekhyun grabbed his cheeks, spread them and flicked his tongue inside, starting to tongue-fuck him.
Then, lips were wrapped around the head of his cock and he glanced down, meeting Sehun’s glassy and puffy eyes. Junmyeon sweetly smiled down at him and threaded his fingers through Sehun’s hair, encouraging him to continue.
Being assaulted from both ends, it didn’t take long for Junmyeon to come, his orgasm rippling through him like electricity. As he slowly came down from his high, he felt plump lips prod at his own and hummed, returning the kiss lazily. He pulled back and opened his eyes, gazing into Kyungsoo’s fond gaze, breaths mingling together as they kept staring into each other.
“How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo whispered, his hand coming up to rub at his lower back in comforting circles.
A content smile twitched on his lips and leaned in, pecking Kyungsoo on the lips.
“Complete.”