Chapter Text
“Ahem.” Lan Xichen cleared his throat, silencing the room with the simple action. The said man looked divine, smooth long hair trailing behind him, dressed impeccably as always.
“Sect Leader Jiang, welcome to the Winter Solstice, it is our pleasure that you have decided to come today. We were going to end soon but for now, let’s continue our previous discussion.” The older male finished with a polite smile and a nod for the leader of a smaller sect to continue talking.
“Humph” harrumphed the other sect leader, adorning a pale green and yellow embroidered robe, like a cheap imitation of the Qinghe Nie sect uniform. “Regarding the previous discussion of the winter solstice, I would like to recommend holding something exciting. Like...drumroll please...A swimming competition!”
Jiang Cheng didn’t know whether to facepalm at the idiocracy or shout at them for thinking so lightly of a so called ‘formal’ sect meeting. Sheesh, the elders of whatever sect that was must be rolling in their graves.
What he couldn’t comprehend was that other leaders were AGREEING to this idea?
“Hmm, your idea sound nice, this will certainly attract lots of attention.”
“Yes, it has never been done before, it will be the first of a legacy.”
“If it all goes well, we could promote our sects to lots of people!”
“Um, no, what are you talking about. I can up with the idea so MY sect is the only one who will get promoted.”
“What?! I disagree. With such a great idea, the recognition should be shared between various sects.”
“No!”
“Yes!”
Looking over, Jiang Cheng could see his nephew tapping his fingers over his thigh, face a mask of concentration as Jin Ling seemed to pay attention for once.
The squabble between the sect leaders grew louder and louder, Nie Huaisang opting to hide behind his fan, covering almost his entire fact apart for a tiny slit where his eyes peeked out. Jiang Cheng could take it no longer, not only were they arguing over a dumbass suggestion, they were actually getting offended! This was even starting to affect sect relations... He opened his mouth.
“STOP IT!” interjected Jin Ling in a stern voice, rising to his feet. “Have you all no shame? To be arguing about this petty topic like children for a toy?”
Jin Ling spoke confidently with his head held high, brows furrowed into an almost carbon copy of his uncle’s. His eyes narrowed as he spoke, assuming the form of Jin Zixuan’s glare from the previous soft kind eyes of Jiang Yanli.
“Have you no brain?” Jin Ling stated in an emotionless voice.
“It’s the beginning of WINTER in GUSU LAN, one of the coldest sects. And you want to go swimming?!” His voice a crescendo as the whole room fell silent.
As soon as this was stated, the other sect leaders started to whisper among themselves. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, one of the more easily swayed leaders stated. What nonsense is that kid sprouting, he clearly doesn’t know enough about sect matters, another interjected. Can we really afford to let this kid rule? Asked one of the Jin sect elders.
Jiang Cheng looked over at the now internally trembling boy, chest swarming with pride. This is my shije’s son. He wanted to say. I’m so proud of you.
“Jin Ling clearly had plenty more common sense than the lot of you.” Jiang Cheng smirked from his seat, lounging back with his legs crossed, one over the other. “So you can all keep your mouths shut unless you have some actual contribution to make!”
“Nonsense. What would you know, boy?” Spat an old cultivator, seemingly in his 200s. “Daring to insult the elders, Jin Ling gets that from you.”
I’m sorry Jin Ling. Anger is the only thing that I’m good at. But I always seem to make things worse.
“From me?” Jiang Cheng asked, voice growing silent for a second. His presence was intimidating, everyone enchanted by the way he spoke, and the pulsing purple whip materialised from thin air. The crackle of electricity on the tip of their tongues.
“From me?” He repeated. I don’t want you to be like me, Jin Ling. I don’t want you to face the pain and suffering that I suffered under. I wish to see you grow up to become a fine sect leader. I’m sorry that you had to be compared to me. He thought as his heart broke from the cruel words. On the exterior, his eyes grew colder and narrowed, lips pressed so tightly that it was all but a line.
The tension in the room was palpable, with the elder cowering under the stress of the stare on him.
“Um, what I meant was that demonic cultivator, Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian. He was the same in his years of study, always talking back to us and now look at when he is.” The elder backtracked immediately, digging himself deeper into his grave.
Jiang Cheng’s face flushed red from anger, “How dare you.” He whispered, flicking his wrist as Zidian lashed out and struck the floor in front of the misspoken elder, serving as a clear warning. “I’ll have you know what he did saved your sects, so you can go take your complaints and shove it up your-“
“Ahem, Sect Leader Jiang.” Spoke the Chief Cultivator, Nie Huaisang in a soft but stern tone. “Perhaps we shall all go outside to take a break. Come back at 4.”
Jiang Cheng glared at the scheming figure, his fake shyness, elegance and all before scoffing and stalking out the double doors.
And with that, the tension was broken as everyone breathed a sigh of relief, bowing curtly before hastily exiting the room.
I don’t know what I’m doing today. Jiang Cheng though as he walked outside, inhaling a large gulp of the icy Gusu air. Normally he could control himself better, but he was just so tired.
It wasn’t the tired you get after pulling a simple all-nighter, no, it was the weariness that bloomed under the constant pressure of sleepless nights and sect delegations. He knew that he should not have snapped, especially for something as simple as this, which he was already accustomed to. If this was 12, no, even 5 years ago, he would’ve been right next to that elder, agreeing on all the horrible misdeeds his brother had done in the past. But he was over that. He had forgiven and it was all in the past.
Without realising, during his brooding, his feet had led him straight to the person he least wanted to see.
“Uncle.” Jin Ling frowned as he stared stubbornly at Jiang Cheng. “Why are you so overprotective? I can handle a few insults!”
“Shut up brat. You don’t know anything.”
“Yeah? Well, I was handling it pretty well by myself.” Snarled Jin Ling, brows furrowed as he glared at Jiang Cheng.
“Sect Leader Jiang, you ruined everything. Leave me alone.” Jin Ling snarled before he spun around, presumably heading to find the two Lan disciples who were his friends.
Jiang Cheng felt his heart shatter in his chest. I’m sorry Shi Jie. He thought as he turned the other way, heading down the path to who-knows-where. At least Jin Ling had 2 friends that he could rely on, even though the loud-mouthed one constantly annoyed Jiang Cheng, the other more sensible one, the adopted son of Wei Wuxian and his stoic husband, was level-headed and a good influence.
Fingers twisting Zidian, he reached the end of the corridor before spotting a narrow winded cobblestone path, half blending into the shrubbery and decided to follow it. There was nothing else he could anyways and whilst he could head to his room and unpack, he wasn’t going to run back with his tail tucked between his legs.
The temperature was cooling rapidly, even though it was only the afternoon, with winter approaching adding to the previously cold air of Gusu Lan.
Shivering slightly, Jiang Cheng drew his robe slightly tighter around him, looking at the well-maintained pathway surrounded by trees on either side.
He was disappointed that he didn’t wear warmer robes today even though it was obvious that Gusu Lan would be cooler, a mistake in thinking that he could stay in the comfort of his heated room back in Yunmeng Jiang instead.
Jiang Cheng had already walked well and truly down the winded path before he stopped and looked back, not seeing even the slightest trace of the Gusu buildings. He must have been lost in his thoughts again. It was happening more and more often these past years, especially as Wei Wuxian came crashing into his life like a wrecking ball once again.
He decided to continue walking. After all, there was no one here to disrupt him from his poisonous thoughts. It was only his thoughts that kept him company, even at night in the comfort of his room, he would wonder what the purpose of his existence was. He was nothing, unneeded by anyone or anything. And now, even his own nephew hated him.
Jiang Cheng drew in a shaky breath as his hands came up to his throat at the sudden lack of oxygen. Deep breaths, he reminded himself, knees buckling before he sank to the ground.
One.
Breath in, hold and out.
Two.
Breath in, hold and out.
He repeated this mantra in his head till the black dots in his vision cleared away and his shaky inhales sounded less likes gasping and more like actual breathing. It wasn’t always this bad, though some days were worse. Today seeming to be one of those days where he didn’t feel nor have the motivation to do anything.
He tucked his knees closer to his body and his head between his knees, allowing himself to feel a moment of vulnerability. Drawing out one last shuddering breath, he clenched his clammy hand together into tight fists before pushing himself to his feet.
The silence seemed overbearing and he stumbled a little before standing upright, supported by the tree. He was good at nothing. Alone.
No, he knew that he shouldn’t think like that anymore.
His feet were still taking him down the cobblestone path even though Jiang Cheng knew that he was meant to be back by 4. There were many days where he felt like this, not wanting to have anything related with his sect, troubles and worries. He was a disgrace as a sect leader, he didn’t deserve this position. Hands shaking slightly, he bunched them into his robes, face twisted into a snarling frown, lips tightly pressed against one another to stop them from trembling.
Without realising, he had reached the end of the pathway, opening to a small well-maintained clearing. It was obvious that someone took a lot of time and effort to trim the grasses and bushes, handling everything with tender love and affection. To the left of where the pathway opened was a small cottage, surrounded by small bushes, flowers blooming in clumps.
Jiang Cheng pursed his lips, even though this garden was well looked after, he wondered who would live all the way out here. It had taken him 45 minutes at least, walking at a normal, albeit slower and more leisurely pace but still too much of a hassle to head to the cloud recesses.
It was probably well after 4 already, the meeting long having resumed and Jin Ling- Well, he believed that Jin Ling would be just fine without him, after all, he was a very bright child, the child of Shi Jie and that peacock. Jiang Cheng had no doubts that Jin Ling would do spectacularly as a sect leader but felt that it was still too early for him to carry that burden alone. He was too young, too naïve about the world and those greedy asshol-ahem, sect elders. And of course, he was Jiang Cheng’s precious nephew.
Walking over to the flowerbeds, he smiled at the red, yellow and white blooms, soaking up the afternoon sun without a care in the world. I wonder who planted these, they seem pretty, maybe I should also grow these at Yunmeng Jiang when I go back. He pondered, the corner of his lips twitching upwards for the slightest fraction of a second before he resumed his neutral scowl. He was already feeling slightly better than before, after all, it was hard to think such bitter things to oneself in a warm garden standing in front of flowers.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a bush tucked around the corner of the cottage, 2 stunning blue flowers capturing his attention. Even with his limited knowledge, he could tell that they were roses, blue petals unfurled as they seemed to beckon him over.
Feet already moving, the notoriously feared sect leader couldn’t help but feel relaxed in this stranger’s garden, more relaxed and calmer than he had felt in years. On the opposite side of the garden was a bush dotted with flowers of various shades; purple, blue, pink, white and even a yellowish shade of green.
He had never seen anything like It. Of course, it was nothing compared to the stunning beauty of his Lotus Pier when the lotus was in full bloom, but this was certainly something. He stood in the sun, tendrils of frigid air still clawing at him. It’s a pity, the sect leader thought as he gazed wistfully at the buds, the first frost of the year was going to hit soon, and all these flowers would be gone.
Fingers twisting Zidian in ring form on his index, he resolutely decided to go meet the owner of the cottage before his doubts can begin to creep up on him again. Would the owner hate him for disrupting their garden? Would they be terrified of me? I know my reputation isn’t the best but...
Steeling his nerves, Jiang Cheng rapped his left hand 3 times solidly against the wooden door. A second passed, then ten and then a minute. Maybe they are away? Knocking against the wood again, he began to feel the unpleasant mixture of butterflies and a sense of dread in his stomach. Maybe they saw me and don’t want me here?
Biting his lip, the sect leader sighed, walking over to rest on an old wooden bench, the only thing in the garden that wasn’t as new or well-looked after. It was clear that whilst the owner did care for their plants a lot, they did not, in fact, spend a lot of time just relaxing in their garden, for the bench was creaky and sun-bleached.
It didn’t matter to Jiang Cheng though, who sat with perfect posture though his shoulders were slightly tensed, under the constant of strain of looking after his sect.
Certainly, he didn’t have anywhere else to go, it wasn’t like he could head back to re-join the sect meeting. Even if the Gusu disciples would allow him back in, his pride would take an awful shattering after his argument with Jin Ling. So, heading back to the meeting was a no.
Although he had previously visited the Cloud Recesses for delegations, he wasn’t sure if his guest quarter would still be the same ones, the last thing he wanted to do was unpack in the completely wrong room. So, heading to his room was once again a no.
Pursuing his lips, Jiang Cheng reluctantly admitted that he was just making excuses for the fact that he didn’t want to go back just yet. Having been physically, mentally and emotionally drained this past week with his breakdown just a few minutes prior, he was ready to curl up and sleep for the next year or so.
Head sagging forwards limply, he closed his eyes as he cast away his responsibilities. At least, for today.