Chapter Text
After Doctor’s alarm went off, he nearly thought all was back to normality. Then, he opened his eyes and stared at the truth. He was in his new base. He also had—
“The patient! Scheisse!”
Doctor was out of bed in a jump, hurrying through what he had set up of his old routine. He was out in record time,
“Morgen, Medic, did you already check on our patient—”
“Doctor, slow down. I already released him.”
“You already—You took over the case, then? When’s the next follow up? Tomorrow—?”
“Doctor. Pyro is fine.” The Medic grasped his shoulder firmly. “Let’s get breakfast. I won’t let you work otherwise.”
“Very well,” Doctor agreed, though slightly miffed.
He didn’t even start and was already removed from a case. Clearly, he’d have to work harder to make it up. Maybe, if he finished the initial screenings efficiently that’d prove he wasn’t mediocre. Indeed, his first impression with Medic wasn’t a good one, but there was yet time to gain respect from his colleague.
“What has you lost in thought at this time in the morning?” Medic asked, amused.
“Schedules! It’s never too early to plan the day’s work.” Doctor replied absent-minded.
“Schedules…? What are you planning to do on a Saturday?”
“Why, to give everyone an early eval, of course.”
“You could check on their files—”
“Thank you, they’ll be very valuable on the anamnesis.”
Medic halted short.
“Medic?”
Doctor turned towards the man. He was slightly frowning, looking deep in thought. Doctor’s brain escalated: has he said something that unusual?
“How, ah, proactive of you.” A small pause. “Do you want me to herd them for you?”
“… Is that generally necessary?”
“Hmm. That’s a point; you’re new here.” Medic flashed a lightly manic grin, “if you need help, though, give me a shout!”
Doctor flashed their colleague a grin of their own.
“Danke!”
When they arrived in the kitchen only Sniper could be found there. He was preparing coffee.
“G’day, mates”
“Guten Morgen!”
“God morgen”
“…That was scarily similar. D’you two speak the same language or…?”
Doctor and Medic share a laugh.
“Good one, Sniper.” Medic was wiping an imaginary tear. “As if Norwegian sounds anything like German.”
“You have a good ear, Genosse!”
“Takk skal du ha!”
“Do we have tea?”
“Ja! I could make you a cup as well”
“Vielen Dank!” Doctor went to the fridge, “would you like some muesli?”
“Ja, ja, takk.”
“I never knew that anyone could get along this well with you, Medic.”
“It’s not my fault that you hide on your ‘spots’ all day, Sniper,” Medic retorted with a faint sneer. “I’m sure if you graced us with your presence, you’d see.”
Doctor chuckled. It was nice to hear friendly bickering during a quick breakfast.
“I don’t have t’listen to ya.” Sniper, after cleaning his mug and plate, turned to leave.
“Wait, Sniper!”
“What, uh. Doctor, was it?”
“Ja.” After quickly cleaning up, he was by the Sniper’s side in a few quick strides. “Come with me, you’ll be the first I’ll clear today.”
“What?”
Doctor raised a single eyebrow.
“I’ll examine you. Right now.” He let a small pause take place. “So, you’ll come with me to the infirmary!”
“But, Doctor—”
“No ‘but’s!” Doctor grinned at the slightly taller man. “It’ll be quick, I promise you!”
Doctor, whoever, was already guiding Sniper towards the infirmary. He quickly analysed the mercenary’s medical file.
“D’you have to?”
“Yes!” Doctor shot him a friendly smile. “Come, out with your shirt. I’ll listen to your lungs, first!”
Sniper grumbled but complied. Quickly adjusting the stethoscope,
“Deep breaths, now, please,” Doctor counted the breaths on his wristwatch. “Very clear, good! I’ll take your pulse now, stay still.”
Doctor never bothered checking for pulse on the wrist. He went straight for the nice, thick carotid on Sniper’s neck. It was a nice, healthy 55BPM. He then pressed the stethoscope over the heart. A steady drum echoed through Doctor’s ears. Doctor couldn’t help but smile. He proceeded to measure Sniper’s blood pressure, which was also normal. If all evals went this smoothly, he’d have it all done by lunchtime.
“Thank you for complying, Sniper!” Doctor was pleased. “Your health is in great condition!”
“This was… normal.” Sniper sounded suspicious.
‘How were screenings done here, generally?!’ Doctor couldn’t help but think indignantly.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He gave Sniper another friendly smile.
Then, proceeded to check his desk.
“Here, you get one for being a good patient. Hopefully this will make future exams easier!”
Doctor handed Sniper a lollipop. Sniper took the candy, eyeing it and Doctor mildly baffled. He proceeded to pocket it.
“Well, thanks mate.”
After he examined Sniper, Doctor easily convinced Heavy. It really took no convincing at all, surprisingly. The man also was healthy as a bull, that being rather unsurprisingly. But what was extra surprising was his willingness to call the other mercs to report to Doctor. After Scout, though, Soldier came easily—it seemed that his good manners were doing an amazing work at convincing that this was, indeed, just a normal check-up.
The check-ups were doing well, most of the team so far were in good health. Demoman, of course, had to be intimated to turn his drinking a notch down—it was affecting his blood pressure—but after Doctor explained why, the man was very agreeable. Scotty came by after Demoman left.
“So many years and your heart still beat like clockwork.” Doctor offered the slightly shorter man a fond smile.
“You an’… Su… always took great care of, well. Everybody.”
They shared a mournful sigh.
“Stay healthy, Scotty. Strong you already are.”
Scotty chuckled a little.
“Thanks, Doc.”
The other Engineer—Engie was his preferred nickname—came in directly after Scotty. They were getting along well enough that Engie and Scotty chatted a bit during the eval. He, too, was healthy and was quickly dismissed. Medic was waiting on the waiting room, together with Spy and Pyro.
“Who’s the next?” Doctor inquired politely.
“Moi.” Spy replied, taking one last drag of his cigarette and then crushing it.
“After you,” Doctor said, and gave the other space to enter the infirmary.
He glanced at Spy’s medical file. It was blacked out on too many parts to be particularly useful. Doctor sighed.
“I realise that you’re the Spy but—”
“I cannot have you write any information about me.”
Doctor blinked in surprise.
“You’re willing to share with me what I must know about your health?”
“Oui. You cannot do your job otherwise, after all.”
Doctor let out a relieved sigh and a half-smile.
“Thank you for cooperating.”
The screening was going… fine. Not great, but nothing too worrying. Except for Spy’s lungs.
“Your lungs… Do not sound too well.”
“Ah. They’re that poor, then?”
“Ja. You seem to have emphysema.” A small pause, to see if any questions arise. “You’ll need an exercise schedule.”
Spy rubbed his temple.
“Since you must.”
“You’ll also need a daily cocktail to manage the disease.”
A grave sigh.
“Very well.”
Doctor grinned. The day was going very well so far.
“Medic, please cooperate with me here. Your file’s nearly empty!”
“That’s because I can manage myself.”
“I’ll not allow that.”
A displeased grunt from Medic.
“Fine, but I’ll examine you and your colleague engineer as well.”
“I expected nothing less!”
Medic rolled his eyes at Doctor. Doctor was considering himself very lucky indeed. Health agents were always the most stubborn patients, after all.
Then, it was time for Pyro. Doctor was slightly unnerved. Pyro’s file was… Most unhelpful. As with Spy, someone went loose with the blackout. Pyro was still waiting by the door.
“Come in, Pyro. I need to talk to you about your file.”
Pyro tilted his head. He shily went over to the cot.
“Please, do sit down!” Doctor said in a light, cheery tone.
Pyro did as told. Only what was told, apparently.
“Please, may you remove your mask?”
Pyro, unhelpfully, shook his head.
“Would you like a notepad, then?”
Pyro tilted his head again. This was getting tiring. He found a booklet on his desk. It was for his old Pyro, but it would probably do.
“Here, use this to answer me.”
Pyro took the booklet and flipped through it. Doctor awaited him finish inspecting it.
“You are going to have a general evaluation. Will you allow me to conduct it?” It wasn’t a question Doctor would truly take ‘no’ for an answer but needed to ask anyway.
Pyro nodded, before remembering the book and flipping to yes.
“Then, would you please remove your suit? Your mask can stay on.”
Doctor was paying full attention to Pyro, so he realised quickly when the other froze.
“Just the upper body, not all of it. I need to listen to your lungs and heart.” Doctor was quick to add, before Pyro went under hysterics again.
It was hard not to notice how much Pyro was shaking. Silence filled the room, making Doctor uncomfortable and antsy.
Pyro, at last, came to a decision. He tugged at the clasp behind his suit, then peeled it to his waist. Pyro wore underneath the thick suit a wifebeater. His skin was pale and freckled. His right side, though, was littered with burns. It was nothing short of a miracle Pyro was alive now, given the extension of the gnarly scars. He had lost two thirds of his arm, replaced by a polished battery powered prosthetic. The burns were more intense the closer to the arm they were, coming to an end somewhere still under the suit. Doctor’s guess was at Pyro’s leg.
Doctor couldn’t hold back a gasp of wonder. Pyro was shaking again.
“Thank you.” Doctor gave Pyro a reassuring smile. “You’ll be needing to thoroughly hydrate that tissue; do you have enough moisturising crème? It seems you haven’t been applying enough.”
Pyro’s body language expressed he was taken aback. It took Pyro a few moments to recompose. He flipped the book to ‘What’ and a question mark.
“Moisturising crème. For your skin.” Doctor was taking care to keep the whole interaction in soft tones.
Pyro flipped through the book again. ‘Please’.
“I’ll get some at the end of the examination, ja?”
Pyro nodded in understanding.
“I’ll now use this,” Doctor held the stethoscope for Pyro to see. “To listen to your breathing.” A small pause. “Are you sure you won’t remove the mask?”
Pyro took another moment to reconsider. He, then, shook his head again.
“Very well. You’ll have to take bigger breaths, then, okay?”
And then Doctor pressed the cold stethoscope against Pyro’s back whose breathing hitched for a moment, before becoming slower and profound. His lungs were surprisingly clear. Doctor, then, heard Pyro’s heart. He somewhat begrudgingly took Pyro’s pulse by the wrist. As far as he could tell, other than the very dry scars, Pyro was fine. Doctor gave Pyro another reassuring smile.
“It’s ending soon, don’t worry,” to which Pyro replied with a somewhat muffled agreement noise.
After finishing weighing, Doctor was finally done.
“I’m going to get your crème now,” Doctor announced, leaving briefly to the infirmary’s storage.
“There, here you go. Would you like for me to apply it now?”
Pyro again did a physical double take. This time, however, he shook his head in an enthusiastic and frantic no.
“Well, then, we’re quite done. Please remember to come by whenever you need more crème.”
Pyro quickly re-dressed. Doctor barely had time to fish on his desk for Pyro’s lollipop.
“Here you go! For being a good patient.” Doctor did his best to smile to Pyro.
Pyro let out a squeal and took the candy. He, then, gingerly hugged Doctor and left.