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“Tenten…!”
Tenma blinked at the script in front of him when he heard his name called out of the blue, completely breaking his concentration towards memorizing the lines for his new show. He hardly even had the time to look up from the packet, much less straighten his back before a weight was thrown on top of him and his neck was wrapped in a loose embrace. He didn’t even have to question who the offending person would have been before he knew who it was. After all, the only person who would ever call him ‘Tenten’ and drape themselves over him like that would be the person he cared for the most in his troupe… No, out of the entire company. It had to have been him.
“Kazunari,” He acknowledged with a hum and a small smile as he reached up to pat his boyfriend on the head. “You’re back early. I thought you were triangle hunting with Misumi?”
Kazunari laughed, light and captivating like a wind chime on a breezy day. It was beautiful, and Tenma loved any chance he got to listen to every single one of the different laughs Kazunari had. They were all perfect, even the ones that Tenma wished Kazunari didn’t have to make––the forced laughs, the laughs that he used when a situation got awkward or when he was hiding something. Those ones hurt Tenma to hear, and he wished he could stop all the various situations that made Kazunari have to make those kinds of laughter… but in the end they were still beautiful despite their pain, because Kazunari was beautiful, and anything he did was beautiful by extension.
“We just finished up!” He chirped into Tenma’s ear, nuzzling against his cheek. Tenma vividly remembered the first time Kazunari had done that to him and how he had essentially thrown himself off the couch and onto the floor in his shock. He had been left stammering and wide eyed, ears flushed so red one would swear they had been lit on fire. That had been before the two had slowly and awkwardly worked their way up to dating, which had left Tenma a fairly long amount of time to get used to the display of affection. He was used to it for the most part by this point then, but he still couldn’t help but feel flustered butterflies in his stomach every time his boyfriend did it.
While Tenma was preoccupied with his own embarrassing thoughts, Kazunari took the opportunity to peel himself off the redhead’s back, instead choosing to haul himself up over the back of the sofa. He lifted himself up just enough to allow his body to roll over the edge, and then let out a quiet grunt as he landed on his back. It wasn’t the most elegant of methods to get onto the sofa, but hey, as long as it got the job done, right? Besides, it made it easier for him to wiggle further up the couch so he could plop his head into Tenma’s lap like a pillow. He squirmed slightly as he nuzzled against Tenma and got comfortable, burying his face in the redhead’s stomach.
“I’m tiredddddd. Tenten, let me recharge for a bit here… You’re the best source of energyyyy…!”
Tenma sat there, back ramrod straight at the sudden movements Kazunari had made. He had been caught completely off guard, and had no idea how to react to the situation at hand. His eyes were as wide as the moon, and his mouth kept flapping open and closed as if he had suddenly become a fish. All his fish studies for a mermaid prince role he had taken a while back were certainly being put to good use he supposed.
“I… um…” He spluttered, one hand gripping his script so tightly it was crumpling and the other hand hovering nervously over Kazunari’s head. “... Sure…?”
Kazunari smiled into the soft fabric of Tenma’s t-shirt when he felt Tenma’s hand finally stop hovering and finally settle itself into Kazunari’s hair. Tenma was always so uncertain and shy; it was cute… Kazunari cherished the moments in which Tenma allowed himself to lean into the affection and even openly reciprocate. It meant Tenma trusted him, and while Kazunari knew he was loved, it was always nice to have those extra little moments to assure him.
The two of them sat there in peaceful silence for a while, Kazunari allowing his eyes to drift shut as Tenma slowly relaxed into his embrace. The only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of flipping pages as Tenma read through his script and the occasional shift of fabric whenever Kazunari readjusted himself. Not that that was often though, since he was perfectly content lying as he was. He was thoroughly enjoying his time being spoiled by his boyfriend, and if he was a cat, Kazunari was sure he’d be purring at the sensation of Tenma running his fingers through his hair. Unfortunately for him though, the comfortable silence meant that Kazunari was left fully to the mercy of his own thoughts. They were like the plague, miserable and completely, utterly unavoidable. They were part of the reason why Kazunari tended to keep himself moving always, constantly. He was always doing something to keep his mind occupied, because it was in the little, peaceful moments like this that he was haunted by the anxieties he tried so hard to repress.
He tried hard not to let it get to him, he really did. He tried to enjoy this rare moment of quiet peace with his boyfriend, but his own thoughts were relentless in their brutal ideas of his own personal inadequacy.
Eventually they became too much for him to ignore in favor of maintaining the comfortable peace he had with Tenma. He felt a pang of guilt shoot through him as he dislodged Tenma’s hand from where it had been petting his hair and jostled the other arm that had been holding the script. It was too late to take back though, and he was already rolling over onto his back so he could stare up at Tenma’s face.
That caught his boyfriend’s attention, no question about it. He placed his script down on the sofa off to his side, and gave Kazunari an inquisitive gaze. He grew more and more fidgety the longer they held each other’s stares, eventually glancing away in blatant discomfort. “What’s up? Is there something on my face?”
Kazunari hummed in acknowledgement and watched as Tenma felt at his face in melodramatic distress for whatever be believed to be smudged across it. It was admittedly kind of funny, so he didn’t do anything to dissuade Tenma from the idea just so he could chuckle at the sight.
Immediately after hearing that, Tenma pieced together that he had been lied to, and gave Kazunari a dry expression. “No, seriously, what’s the matter?”
Kazunari pursed his lips at the reminder. There was no getting out of this… not when he had been the one to trigger Tenma’s curiosity in the first place… Well, it would be better to rip off any insecurities like an old bandaid than to let them fester and wound him any deeper than they already had. Even if the idea of doing such filled Kazunari with so much dread that he felt nauseated at the mere idea.
“Hey, Tenma…” He ventured. The actual use of his given name from Kazunari’s lips left Tenma put on edge, because it couldn’t mean anything good. Kazunari only ever used his real name when things got serious, and that made him nervous to know. His palms were sweating, and he tried hard to wipe them on the sofa cushion without making it obvious as he replied with a simple, “Yes?”
Kazunari gave him a tired smile that Tenma was one hundred percent sure was supposed to be meant to reassure him––God, he was stupid. How could he let himself get consoled when clearly Kazunari is the one who needs help.––before averting his gaze to continue talking. “Tenma… you don’t… regret dating me, do you…?
… Huh? Tenma gave Kazunari a look of complete bafflement, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to process the words he had just heard.
“... What?” Tenma regretted saying it the moment it left his mouth, watching as Kazunari curled further into himself and quite obviously mentally berated himself.
“Sorry, that was stupid. Just ignore me––”
“Kazunari, no,” He firmly interrupted, leaving no room for question from Kazunari. Once it was clear his boyfriend wasn’t going to keep arguing, he continued on, albeit awkwardly. “You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had––well, the only boyfriend I’ve ever had… Hell, the only person I’ve ever dated, period, but that’s not the point! Why would I ever regret loving you?”
Kazunari’s face scrunched up at the declaration, torn between being touched and still being hung up on his concerns. “But that’s just it, Tenma! Don’t you…” He finally shoved himself up out of Tenma’s lap so he could sit up and face him, gesturing his hands around as he spoke. “I dunno… Don’t you wish you were like, dating a girl or something? You’re a super mega popular actor! Girls fall over themselves just trying to talk to you! Clearly you could have your pick of anyone you wanted…” He trailed off, hugging himself to nurse his own self-inflicted wounds. His voice cracked. “Why would you want to date someone like me? I’m… I’m a guy. Dating me causes so much trouble for you…”
Tenma had been letting Kazunari get his rant out without interrupting up until that point, but he had finally had enough. He gripped Kazunari by the shoulders, forcing the blonde to look up and face him. The look in Tenma’s eyes was one full of determination, a fire having been lit in him that he didn’t even know existed.
“Listen,” He demanded. “If I cared about the trouble that being with you would cause me, I wouldn’t have stayed at Mankai Company, would I have? I don’t care what the press thinks of you, and I certainly don’t have any interest in some random fangirls that like me for who they think I am based on my acting. And I like you for who you are, not because you’re a guy or a girl or whatever. Your gender isn’t why I like you, so why would you being a guy change my feelings? You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, and I wouldn’t want to be dating anyone else but you.”
Tenma could feel the embarrassment rising up in him the longer he spoke, and it took all his willpower to crush it down instead of letting it control him so he would falter and shy away from the situation. Kazunari needed him, and he would be damned if he let some dumb embarrassment keep him from being there for him.
“I… Tenma…” Kazunari stared wide eyed at Tenma, his body stiff and stock still in Tenma’s grip. The silence he left by trailing off held itself taut for several more seconds before snapping when Kazunari allowed himself to slump forward with a loud exhale. “Ahaha…”
Tenma panicked and scooched forward until Kazunari’s slumped form was leaning into him. “Kazunari…?!”
Kazunari welcomed the touch with metaphorical open arms, allowing himself to go from hugging himself to throwing his arms around Tenma’s waist. He buried his face in Tenma’s chest and sat there quietly trying to compose himself again, because he was sure that if he tried talking right that moment, his voice would crack like he was in puberty again. That, and he was pretty sure that his cheeks were turning warm too.
“Tenten… you’re so smooth when you want to be…” He laughed weakly. Any remaining emotional walls that had been up crumbled the rest of the way down when he felt fingers carding themselves through his hair again. He sniffled, even though he wasn’t crying. “I’m so lucky to have you… I love you, Tenten.”
Tenma mentally sighed in relief when he heard Kazunari go back to using that silly little nickname he had grown so fond of. He was so relieved, in fact, that he didn’t even get flustered at being told ‘I love you’ like usual. He allowed himself to relax, and lean into Kazunari’s warmth as well.
“I love you too…”