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Music was blaring in every direction. The people all around grinding and dancing to the beat made the air hot and suffocating. The kitchen was booze central. Katara grabs three beers and slips outside as fast as she can without anyone trying to touch her. She slides through the last group of people and heads for Sokka and Suki on the patio.
“You guys okay with---IPAs?” Katara asks while looking at the unanimous bottles she has grabbed.
Sokka and Suki nod simultaneously and reach for their drinks. The trio clink their lids together and drink up. Katara sucks down almost half on the spot. To say this week has been hell is the biggest understatement ever uttered by any human who ever lived. Getting by with maybe six hours of sleep the entire week, two final projects, three final exams, and four shifts at work almost sent her to the morgue. With the semester over, students have two weeks off before classes start back up. Katara desperately wants to spend every day doing nothing at all or getting day drunk so she’ll start right here.
“Damn Kat. Why didn’t you start with the liquor?” Suki observes.
Katara giggles. “I couldn’t get to the liquor bitch. Everyone was crowding the damn counter.”
The three fall into simple conversation about future plans, family stuff, and for the girls: hot guys at this party. Sokka rolls his eyes and calls over to Toph who is way too busy challenging guys to drinking games. Once Sokka leaves the girls, Suki delves into details.
“So, tell me about your last shag.” Suki says casually with her eye brows moving like it’s a dare. Katara makes a face, like she’s just eaten a sour candy that’s turned her into a red monster.
“Ohhh come on girl. You texted me the morning after just ready to spill details. And that was three weeks ago! Now is your chance. Spill damnit!” Katara decides Suki can be quite convincing but only after Katara has already started drinking. She takes another swig of beer and almost slams the empty bottle down on the cement. Instead she sets it down lightly and turns to her friend. She takes a deep breath before the word vomit comes up.
“Okay. If I tell you, you must swear on your life that you will not utter a single word to any other soul for as long as you live. Do you understand?” Katara has her eyes locked on Suki. Without hesitation, Suki nods, needing to know more.
Katara closes her eyes and takes another deep breath.
“It was Zuko.”
“WHHHAAA---“ Katara’s hand slaps over Suki’s mouth and grips her jaw for dear life.
“Shut up.” She growls. Suki pulls Katara’s hand from her mouth.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Suki almost screetches.
“Because you know him! He’s Sokkas best friend and I didn’t want anyone but he and I to know. The more people know, the more likely it’ll be leaked and I CANNOT have Sokka finding out. I just can’t! You can’t tell him Suki. YOU CANNOT!” Katara shoves her pointer finger in Suki’s face.
Suki shoves her friends hand away and nods. “Fine. Has it happened anytime since?” She’s almost glaring at Katara.
Katara looks hopeless. She turns her head to the ground and nods slowly.
“Katara!” Suki almost looks hurt. She can be trusted damnit. Well---sort of.
Katara’s hands in the air for her surrender. “I’m sorry! I couldn’t risk anyone else finding out!”
Suki huffs but continues. “So how was it?”
“Fucking amazing! You remember he has a tongue ring right?” Katara wags her eyebrows up and down. Suki’s eyes go wide.
“No way! How was that?” Her eyes aren’t the only parts of her that are green with envy.
Katara practically moans. “It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. He was so amazing Suki. He was so sweet and caring and then dominant and wild. It’s like I know Zuko, he's that shy and angry guy we’ve been friends with the past six years and then there’s this---confident, incredible and sexy man I’ve just been dying to meet!” Katara glances at the dark sky with wonderlust. In her hazy dream state, she can hear Suki giggling. But she’s far away on cloud nine.
“Katara you are soooo in love with him. Do you guys plan to get together? Like in a relationship?”
Then she fell back down to earth on her ass.
“I don’t think we’re ever going to do that.” She sounded so pitifully sad. Toph would have punched her for that.
Suki growls. “Why the fuck not?”
“He’s dangerous for me Suki! I want to be with him for as long as humanly possible and I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with him for the last five years! He just broke up with Mai again like a month ago! I ended things with that one asshat—“ “Jet” “---like 6 months ago and I kind of can’t handle a relationship right now. If we go any further, I feel like I’ll be falling into a well that will neve fucking end Suki. You know how he and Mai are! Off, on, off, on, off, ON! If I get caught up in that mess of shit I may never recover. I can’t pine for a guy who doesn’t want me other than sexually Suki, I can’t do that again.” Katara drops her head again, suddenly needed something stronger than an IPA.
Suki wraps her arm around her friend’s shoulder and leans onto her shoulder.
“I get it Kat, I do. I’ve been there. But you’ll never know unless---“
“No Suki. I can’t. Zuko is bad news. I need to keep my distance. I can’t sleep with him anymore. It’ll be so meaningless.”
Suki rubs Katara’s arm in a comforting motion.“You wanna go get drunk?”
-----
Katara is pretty positive that this shot glass she holds in her fingers---her 3rd?---will finally make her forget all of her troubles. Suki was next to her a moment ago before Sokka came in from the backyard and whisked her away. Toph was unseen so that left Katara alone in the kitchen surrounded by other drunk students.
“3!”
Katara holds her glass high in the air.
“2!”
She brings it to her lips.
“1! SHOT!”
She tips her head back and the whiskey pushes past her lips and down her throat. She slams the glass down on the counter with the others as they all shout and cheer for their success.
Katara laughs as she looks around her surroundings. With enough liquid in her, the world is starting to spin and slow down. The people around her are still loud and there is lots of movement. Her eyes brush past a still figure at the entrance of the kitchen. She almost passes him but her eyes center onto his. She doesn’t want to look stunned but her face won’t listen to her mind.
And there is his undeniably delicious smirk.
She drowns in the liquid while it burns her from the inside.
-----
After spotting the man she needs to keep her distance from, she swiftly makes her way outside again. Being that Zuko was standing at the threshold to the living room, she only had one option.
“Holy shit it’s cold.” She shrieks as she closes the door to the kitchen. Katara glances at her phone. 11:26 pm. 40 degrees. She rubs her arms to gain heat from the friction as she moves around the backyard slowly. All around there are kids drinking, laughing, smoking, etc. She brushes past everyone, remaining unseen by many. About fifteen feet away are her friends playing a round of beer pong with some other kids. Toph and Suki are up to shoot. Katara grips Suki’s elbow and yanks her backwards.
“OW! Katara! You fucked up my shot!” She growls, trying to pull herself from Katara’s freezing fingers.
Katara turns once out of earshot of Sokka. With eyes wide, she says “He’s here.”
Without missing a beat, Suki turns towards the table.
“Sokka! Play a round for me.” Sokka gets up without a word and joins Toph at the table. Suki turns back to Katara. She’s facing the back of the house and is searching through all of the random faces to find Zuko’s.
“Do you see him?!” Katara asks a bit sluggish. Her back is to the house.
Suki moves her head side to side while her eyes scan everyone. And then she---“There! He’s talking to some bro’s by the back door. He’s inside still.” Katara let’s out a sigh of relief. But shortly after Suki is shaking her by her shoulders.
“So you’ve probably had a lot to drink and you are more than likely thinking about how quickly you can jump him in the car. So you need to either stay away from him or sober yourself up quick. He’s gonna pull his Zuko charm on you & you told me an hour ago that you don’t want to be physically involved with him anymore.” Suki notices Zuko walking over to them. “Be strong Katara. Don’t let him make you melt.” She all but whispers before Zuko comes to greet them.
"Hey guys.”
“Hey Zuko!” Suki squeals as she goes in for a half hug. Katara looks up at him as he comes to stand next to her.
“Yo Suki. Hey Kat.” God damn, he’s practically purring. She closes her eyes as his voice soothes her soul. She get’s a slap to the arm and she snaps out of her trance. Her eyes burst open and Suki is clearly glaring at her. Katara shakes her head free of sexual thoughts and smiles at Zuko.
“Hey Zuko. How’ve you been?” She plasters on that cute smile and pitches her voice a little higher. Something she’s taught herself to do after working years in retail.
“I’m good. Glad to have a break. How are you two?” His hands are shoved into his pocket as he slightly rocks back and forth on his feet.
“We’re great! Just heading to the beer pong tables. Come join us dude. Sokka will be stoked that you made it.” With that said, Suki turns on her heel and heads towards her boyfriend. Katara trails behind with Zuko for a moment.
“How are you Katara?” He nudges her arm, coaxing her with that sweet sound of a voice.
Katara gulps and looks down to the ground. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m good Zuko.”
“Then what’s got you so nervous?” He asks, eyebrow up in question.
Shit! He noticed?! I thought I was better at hiding this shit! She glances at him, trying her hardest to be as ‘sly’ as Drunk Katara will allow. A cool breeze picks up and raises the hairs on Katara’s skin.
“Pft. I’m not nervous.” She laughs back. On cue, Zuko takes off his jacket and drapes it around her shoulders.
“Come on Katara, I know you. I know when you are nervous.”
A blush creeps along her cheeks. Fuck, he can sense it. “Thanks for the coat. It’s freakin’ cold! And I am not nervous!” She pinches his sides. Fuck! He’s all muscle. “I’ve just had a bit too much to drink tonight.” A hiccup proves her point.
Zuko laughs. She’s fucking melting.
They meet with the others and she tries to forget how good he looks naked.
----
It’s 12:48 am. The house is still filled with too many people. Suki and Sokka are dancing in circles with each other, staring into each others eyes lovingly, whispering sweet words to one another. Toph is playing drinking games with Aang. She mentioned something about catching him up to the rest of the group because he showed up so late.
And Katara is dancing and laughing and having the time of her life. She’s another 3 shots in and she felt like grinding against her dear, gorgeous friend Zuko. Who cares if he’s using her for physical attention? Who cares if this is a short term affair? Who cares?
Katara doesn’t.
----
It’s 2 am and the walk home is cold as fuck. Suki and Sokka left an hour before. Toph and Aang were still at the party. Katara felt like leaving so Zuko simply offered to walk her to her dorm. But since they were much closer to Zuko’s close to campus apartment, she requested to just sleep on his couch for the night.
It’s been a long, fun evening and both of them are pretty buzzed. Katara finds something to keep giggling about and her laughter makes Zuko laugh too.
They are only a block away from his apartment building when Katara shoves him into a tree and latches her lips onto his. She is stoked to find that his lips are so, so soft. His hands go to her waist and play with her visibly soft skin. She bites his bottom lip and grinds her hips against his. She needs friction.
Zuko groans into her mouth and she swallows it. She moves her hands up his clothed chest, wishing he wasn’t wearing anything at all. Her fingers find his hair and she scratches his scalp. Another moan.
She pulls away for air and he drops his head to the trunk. She doesn’t quite stop there. Her lips find his exposed throat and she kisses, licks, and sucks at his pulse. He’s gripping her hips now and still rubbing against her. They both want this.
“K—Katar---“ He tries saying her name. It’s hard to get out so many syllables when this feels so good. She pulls back to look him in the eyes.
“Your place. Now.”
----
A whole 60 seconds later, Zuko is shoving his key into the lock. He’s trying to get in as fast as possible but he finds difficulty concentrating when she’s unbuttoning his pants. With a turn and a few clicks, they are inside the apartment. He has her between himself and the door while he locks it. She’s already devouring his lips and tugging at his t-shirt. His jacket falls from her shoulders and onto the floor. His shirt is not far behind. She already has his pants on the floor so now he’s just down to his underwear.
In another battle of tongues, he’s slipping her tank top straps from her shoulders. His fingers loop the band of her leggings and in just a few seconds, she is also down to her underwear. A quiet ding comes from her phone, now forgotten on the floor. Zuko brings her to the couch. She straddles him as they remove the last of their clothes.
Suki’s text message pops up on Katara’s phone. The following reads: Katara! Don’t do anything stupid! Remember - it’s not worth sleeping with him if he’s gonna run back to mopey girl in a week. Think of your future self!
She sinks onto him with ease and a cry of pleasure escapes them both. His grip is practically bruising her hips and it only turns her on more. Those gold, gorgeous eyes are looking up at her and a smirk settles onto his lips. She leans down to kiss him as she begins to move her hips.
You need to keep your emotional state in mind! Don’t let the liquor cloud your decision-making skills. Be stronger!
His fingers run down her back. She throws her head back and keeps moving. She’s close.
Text me when you’re leaving the party. I want to make sure you get back to your dorm instead of his bedroom.
Zuko halts her hips once he see’s her reaching her peak. Her eyes snap open and she growls. He gives her a smile. That goofy-ass fucking smile that he keeps just for her. Before she can say anything, he hoists her up and changes positions. He lays her down and takes this opportunity to position himself on top. Before he continues, he leans down close to her face. He cups her cheek like a gentleman and kisses her softly.
& for christ’s sake - if you’re under him tonight, you are NOT getting over him!
----
The sweet smell of bacon rouses her from sleep. Under heavy eyelids, her eyes peak out carefully. The sun streams into the bedroom and it is way too bright.
Katara sits up carefully, holding her head under some impression that it’ll keep her soupy brains from escaping her skull.
“How much did I fucking drink last night?” She whispers, glancing around for water. She notes the bedroom and how red it is compared to her usual blue. She notes her state of dress and how she is wearing literally nothing. She notes that Zuko is not in said bedroom and it’s probably good that he isn’t. A gulp of water followed by a heavy sigh, she sits in his bed too devastated to move. Guilt is not evident in her and neither is shame, but pain is scheduled to hit her like a god damn freight train when her heart breaks all over again.
A week from now, Zuko is going to go crawling back to Mai just as he always does. And Katara is the only one who gets to be crushed.
She gets out of bed and starts to search for her clothes.
“Shit, they’re probably out in the living room.” She says to herself. Instinctively she opens one of Zuko’s drawers and finds a t-shirt. She fits it on just right when the door to the bedroom swings open. In struts Zuko with two plates in hand. On top of the plates is Katara’s all time favorite breakfast; pancakes and bacon. He has a smile that is too infectious that she simply can’t not return it.
“For m’lady.” He says as he hands her one of the plates. Katara smiles, a bit of a sad smile but accepts the plate thankfully.
“Zuko, this is amazing thank you.”
“You haven’t even tried it yet. It could be terrible.” He says with a wink. He sits on his bed and motions her to follow suit.
Of course she does.
She gets under the covers and sets her plate down. She is contemplating whether she should just get up and leave now to make this all a little easier or if she should stay and eat breakfast with him in this pretend world.
She decides rather quick, ripping the band aid and dealing with this shit head on.
“Zuko, I think I should go.” She fidgets with her hair.
Zuko turns to look at her. “Do you have plans today?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like—weird. I know you and Mai are on a break again and I know this is pretty much all of my fault but I don’t think I can do this anymore Zuko. I can’t keep sleeping with you knowing there will be nothing more than just these one-night-stand situations.” She takes a bite of bacon and moves to stand up. Before she can leave the bed, he grabs her arm.
She doesn’t want to look at him, but she does it anyway.
He looks so disappointed.
“Katara, I don’t want this just to be physical. I want more than that with you.”
Her eyes go wide.
“Why?”
“Are you serious? You’ve never--- noticed?”
“What are you talking about? Notice what?”
“Katara, did Sokka happen to mention why Mai and I ‘broke up again’ the last time?” She shakes her head no.
A sigh.
“Sit please.” He commands. She follows immediately, too invested in what he is going to say to argue.
“Yes, Mai and I have been on and off again for the past three years. It has been emotionally exhausting. I’ve been unhappy for so long but I thought this is what relationships are supposed to be ya know? I didn’t exactly have the best romantic examples growing up.”
‘Pft, second understatement of the year’ she thinks but nods to let him know she understands.
“I’ve been thinking about leaving her for a while now. When we were together in high school, everything was so much easier. We didn’t have to give a shit about anything and I was so different back then. I think she was just something that kept me anchored to my father and the life I always wanted.” He pauses, figuring out what words to use next and she’s hanging on every syllable. “But I’m not that person anymore and instead of fitting like puzzle pieces, I feel like we’re broken glass that will never stick no matter how many times we try to glue them back together. Maybe we’ve always been like that. And we just fight and fight and fight and I’m so sick of it Katara.” He keeps his eyes down and shakes his head, trying to forget all the trauma and arguing that sometimes circulates his head when he’s alone. Then he lifts his chin and looks at her. “She told me that I’m in love with you.”
Katara tightens her hands around the sheets.
“I was so confused. How could she say that? I didn’t understand and we argued for so long in which she gratefully supplied evidence. For my last birthday, you got me that really great pendant to wear, the lily that reminds me of my mother. And my whole face lit up—like I had just found the last piece of her.” Katara smiles, remembering just how he reacted that night. “She couldn’t get over how happy I was over that, a gift! Nor how many extra seconds my thank you hug lasted. A few months ago I brought her a bouquet of flowers. They were blue roses. She stuck her nose up and told me just how much she hates blue roses and she actually threw them in the trash. She thinks I had bought them with you in mind because—well you love blue Katara. Anyone with eyes can tell that much.” She blushes and gets annoyed because why the fuck am I blushing at that?? She takes a quiet deep breath to calm the butterflies inhibiting her stomach.
“And she was right Katara. And I think I was so in denial that I didn’t even admit it to myself. Because if I’m being honest, heart breaking, awfully ugly honest, I think I’ve been in love with you for the past---“
“Five years.” She finishes for him. His eyes find hers, surprised she has spoken.
She gently cups his cheek. Her fingers lightly graze the bottom half of his scar. He leans into her touch.
“If I’m being honest, I think I’ve been in love with you longer than I can recall.” She speaks quietly but openly. Her heart is out there now. It’s on the line.
He releases a breath she did not know he was holding.
“I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
His arm clears their path, scattering the plates to tug her into his lap. Pancakes be damned, he pulls her close and his lips find hers, hard, desperate and wanting. She’s smiling, he can tell and her tongue traces his bottom lip.
They have a lot of time to make up for.