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At this point, it should be known that Class 1-A was the most terrifying and most chaotic of all the classes within U.A.’s halls. They had led the Endeavor rebellion, created the wicker statues and were still neck deep in villain issues. It was highly surprising that none of them had needed to see a therapist thus far, although it could be easily argued that they all needed one by this point in their high school careers. However, there was something that no one – except their cryptid principal who already knew what these children could get up to, but didn’t know when – had expected from those troublesome children. Sure, they expected the dorm to short circuit from Kaminari’s Quirk every now and again… and the back up generator… and the back-up back-up generator… and the back-up back-up back-up…
I think you get the drill.
And they also expected the fire alarms to be constantly set off by Bakugou’s explosions. Which was why the Bakusquad was now given water spritzers whenever he went into either angry or dangry (angry at Deku) mode. They also expected the odd bit of property damage due to the fact they were herding twenty super-powered teenagers into one building and letting them run loose every night after class. What they didn’t expect from 1-A was that they would start a religion.
It all started, as most stories do with this class, within the common room where the students were lounging around after an especially exhaustive training session under their homeroom teacher. Friend groups were naturally hanging around each other, others were clonked out cold from being pushed above and beyond their normal limits. All seemed well within Height’s Alliance until Sero accidentally stubbed his toe on the underside of the sofa.
“Holy fudging All Might!” he yelled, grabbing the injured limb out of reflex, only just remembering not to swear as it was against the long list of rules Iida made when they first entered the dorms months ago. Instead of the expected chuckles or laughter at his expense, the only reaction from Sero’s mock swearing was a horrified, loud and long gasp from the other side of the room. An overdramatic, diva-ish gasp that came from none other than Todoroki Shouto, who was until that point enjoying a calm snuggle with his boyfriend.
“How dare you…” Todoroki whispered with a face like thunder, the temperature in the room instantly began to lower sending shivers up the other students’ backs. “…How dare you use our lord and saviour’s name in vain?!”
“Mcscuse?” Sero replied with a barely hidden tone of pain ridden anger.
“Mcscused heathen,” Todoroki continued, however now speaking loud enough to be properly heard. “All Might is our great father up atop the Number One Spot, how can we worship his greatness when his name is being used in blasphemy?!” It took a moment before it sunk in, an extremely long moment at that, and the reaction was glorious in that 1-A once again became a mess of yelling that would put Present Mic to shame.
“Todoroki, you’re a freaking legend.” Jirou smirked, returning her attention to her switch lite almost immediately after. Her reaction was overshadowed by – as the class fondly referred to them – Bakugou’s Morons, who were circling Todoroki’s legs like small children waiting to hear a storytime.
“Oh, great Shouto, can you educate us in this God you speak off?” Ashido pleaded with big puppy dog eyes, the male morons following in suit.
“I, Pope Shouto, shall educate you, my children, in this great religion,” he stood up instantly, causing Midoriya to almost fall off the sofa. “TO THE TEMPLE OF ALL MIGHT, AKA MY BOYFRIEND’S BEDROOM!” With that, he made his dramatic exit with the four heroes of the idiopocalypse towards the stairs to the second floor leaving a room full of people to stare at their retreating forms in shock and confusion about what had just happened.
U.A’s first ever religion had just truly been born.
~0~o~0~
That small event within 1-A’s dormitory had, just like the U.A. Inquisition, the Wicker Statues and the Knights who Say Ni, blown up within a short space of time. At first, it was simply four members following the announcement of the fact there was a All Might Religion within the class, but soon almost everyone was included in the praise towards thy lord and saviour, the all mighty All Might. After a couple of weeks of using his boyfriend’s room for prayer, Pope Shouto the first had to move the temple – aka steal some of the exclusive merchandise from his BFs room – to his own lodgings. Once a week the followers in 1-A would meet in his room to give their prayers and respect to the great All Might. The only two within 1-A who weren’t fully engaged were Bakugou, easy to explain, and funnily enough Midoriya, not as easy to explain but his red face and Windows XP 97 reboot expression kind of helped.
For a while the religion was only included within the realms of 1-A but soon spread out to the rest of the first years once both Shinsou and Hatsume forced themselves into the worship meetings. From there it spread to a point where the members could no longer fit themselves in a single bedroom. Being the chaotic creature of destruction he was, Nedzu automatically made the All Mighty religion an official U.A. club and expanded membership to all students and years. This led to multiple times where Toshinori would be muttering about “being too sober for this shit” in English when students would pray and bow to him in the corridors. When asked to explain himself by his heavily exasperated teachers, Shouto simply pointed to Toshinori and said, “We could make a religion out of that.”
His explanation was excepted by most of the teachers, Aizawa just groaned and headed back to his trusty sleeping bag.
One day, whilst leading the meeting, Pope Shouto the first found himself rudely interrupted by a misinformed toddler who had just tagged along to see all the fuss was about. Whilst the Religion of the All Mighty allowed all to join its ranks, only those truly invested should attend the meetings.
“What happens if we don’t follow the teachings of All Might?” the toddler questioned half-heartedly, gaining glares from everyone within the hall they had acquired from the Great Prophet Nedzu.
“Then you spend eternity with the most horrific demon to have ever been created on this planet,” Pope Shouto sighed angrily, having stated this phrase time and time again. Quite frankly, he wished they would get the message sooner. “No one would dare wish that punishment on another in the Temple of All Might.”
“Is it that bad?” the toddler asked again, getting groans and tuts from the others.
“It’s worse than bad!” Pope Shouto pulled his additional conspiracy theory board out of thin air, his original was getting too full, and used a pointer to turn the attention to an image of pure hell. “You’re surrounded by his merch, hearing his words and false news on loop, you spend eternity with the horrific demon that is Endeavor!” The crowd of students cried out in horror at his dramatic reveal, the extra-ness of it much deserved for the topic at hand.
“Pope Shouto?” A voice called out from the crowd. “If All Might is God and Endewhore is the devil, then who is Jesus?” The creator of the religion simply chuckled, his original conspiracy theory board appeared on the other side with his greatest creation on display for all to see.
“As the All Mighty is the father, there can be only one answer to that question my child!” he used his pointer to gently jab at the picture in the middle of the mess of paper and string. “The original roaster himself, the most adorable yet deadly student to ever walk these halls, our other Lord and Saviour, the almighty Deku!” With that the hall erupted into joyous cheers as the mighty son had been revealed.
A cheer that didn’t follow the great pope back to the dormitory when he was forced into an intervention by his lovely, deified boyfriend.
“Shouchan, I know you love to anger that awful sperm donor of yours,” Izuku grumbled, rubbing his forehead as he paced backwards and forwards in his room whilst Shouto lazily spun around on his chair. “But starting a religion around All Might? Really? Yagi-sensei has been swearing ten times more often than usual and has consumed way too much coffee than is necessarily healthy…”
“Wait, the All Mighty swears?” Shouto interrupted, pausing his spinning only to be granted an agitated glare by his boyfriend.
“Yes, of course he does, but he does it in English so we wouldn’t copy him…”
“Zuku, you do know when people our age learn new languages the first words we learn are swear words,” Shouto continued spinning, holding his natural resting bitch face despite his need to begin laughing out loud. “And English is an internationally required language so… he isn’t doing a good job.”
“Anyway,” Izuku was huffing, his cheeks puffed out into an adorable pout. “Why did you have to drag me into your religion?”
“Because you are All Might’s secret lovechild, obviously,” the dual tone haired boy answered as if he had just been asked the easiest question on the planet. “And since the All Mighty is god, then his son would obviously be the heir to his mighty godly legacy, obviously.”
“Please stop saying obviously,” Izuku stared at the continuously spinning boyfriend and used an arm to stop the chair from moving. “And stop trying to convince everyone I’m the child of All Might! I’m not! We’re not even distantly related! There is no possible way I could be his ‘secret lovechild’!”
“That’s what a secret lovechild would say.” With that Izuku yelled in frustration and stormed out of his room, leaving Shouto to resume his continuous spinning. Those were the actions of a secret child, no one could ever change his mind. As he span he began to note the additional evidence he would have to add to his conspiracy board later, but for now he would spin. Why? Because it was entertaining, that and he was wondering how long it would take for someone to walk past and be scared shitless from his cryptid actions.
~0~o~0~
The teacher’s lounge had shifted from a place of complaining about the relevant ‘problem children’ to a place of teasing All Might about his new deified status. Yagi was practically gulping down coffee by the jug at this point, which for some reason pleased Aizawa greatly. Everyone assumed that was because no one could complain at him for doing the exact same thing albeit on a more regular and alarming basis. It was on a day such as this that some of the teachers decided to give a helpful intervention, especially since Yagi was reaching for his second full jug.
“Look, hun, you should be grateful they didn’t wait until you had been gruesomely murdered like Julius Caesar or until after your untimely death to deify you,” Kayama was patting his shoulder in a comforting manner, hiding her own internal laughter at the situation back. “Those kids really respect what you’ve done for the world, just let them get through it. It’s probably just a teen phase or something.”
“I hope it is for my sake,” Yagi groaned, planting his head onto his desk. “Hero worship is one thing but literal worship?”
“Aren’t they the exact same thing though?” Yamada asked, dropping down into his seat which rolled and spun a bit away from his workstation. With a pout he brought himself back into the right position.
“Since when did anyone bow down to me in the middle of a corridor and say my immortal powers keep Endeavor within the realms of hell where he belongs?” the skeletal blond sighed, wanting to repeatedly bash his head onto the table.
“That’s an insult to Lucifer, that’s what that is,” Aizawa grumbled from within his sleeping bag, looking like an emotionally dead human caterpillar. “At least he actually has heart and a shred of decency in him.” Nobody heard him – or seemed to acknowledge him – as at that moment the door slammed open. As Aizawa was already in the room, and most of the other teachers had left to escape the madness that was their school, none of the four had any idea who it was until a very pissed off Midoriya stumbled in.
“Young Midoriya, is everything alright?” Yagi was no longer slumped over his jug of coffee, parental worry plastered across his face. “You look distressed.”
“This is also the teacher’s lounge, where we go to get away from you problem children,” Aizawa added, ignoring the glares the other teachers were giving him. He put up with Problem Child more than enough within lessons and training, no way was he going to deal with more of that mess right now when he was supposed to be relaxing. “Students aren’t allowed in here.”
“It’s the only place I could hide from the entire school,” Midoriya practically collapsed on the swivel chair nearest Yagi. “Shouto’s convinced everyone I’m your secret love child, All Might. They’re worshiping me now like I’m Jesus…” At that Kayama and Yamada burst into fits of laughter, slamming fists onto their desks whilst almost falling off their chairs. Even Aizawa was sniggering in the background. The teenager began pouting and crossed his legs on the chair. “It’s not funny! Even Kacchan’s joined in. You know it’s horrible if even he’s agreed to bow at me for something like this, he hates me!”
“I think the words you are looking for my boy are… strongly disagrees with.” the only straight-faced teacher in the room supplied helpfully.
“Nope, Kacchan hates me,” Midoriya crossed his arms as well, groaning at the situation they were in. “I can’t go out in the corridors and class or locking myself in my room is my only safe haven. There is no where else in the school I could go to escape this however…” the boy began muttering up a storm and began to float above his seat, shocking the others in the room especially since he hadn’t noticed even when his body had fallen sideways into an upside down position.
Then all hell broke loose.
“I’m too sober for this shit!” The caterpillar teacher shouted as he fell off his seat to worm his way out of the room, trying desperately to escape the madness of his life but to no avail.
“Me neither!” Yagi cried as he bashed his head on the desk before mumbling to himself. “Of course, one of those Quirks would show up through his muttering rants, of course it would.”
“At least one part of the religion makes sense,” Kayama stared, holding a screaming Yamada at arm’s length, the latter of who was pointing at the boy and curled up as tightly as he could be. “That kid has to be Jesus with how many Quirks he pulls out of his arse.” Midoriya’s mutters ended as he finally noticed the various states of freaked out his teachers were in.
“Uhh, why are you all reacting like that… and why are you all upside down?” the adults blinked at the child, minds not computing how he didn’t know what was going on.
“That’s it, I’m quitting this job!” Aizawa yelled, managing to stand up in his sleeping bag. “Nedzu didn’t include this BS in my pay scale.”
“But if you quit then you don’t get your daily dose of Endeavor roasting that sustains your life force.” the voice hero reminded him with a smirk, still curled up and held out by Kayama.
“Oh crap, you’re right,” Eraserhead crawled back to his seat, activating his Quirk to send the problem child tumbling to the ground. “Okay you can hide here with us, but only you, Problem Child. Don’t need any more troublemakers ruining our safe space.”
“Thank you, Aizawa-sensei!” he gave his homeroom teacher a beaming smile, before promptly resting his head on the table and fell asleep.
“How can something so cute be the biggest threat imaginable?” After finally being put back in his chair, Yamada pondered whilst staring at the loving gaze the great All Might was sending at the boy.
“You know what they say,” Aizawa grumbled whilst pulling out a stack of unmarked papers, he really hated marking since most of it was an utter mess. “Whether it’s being brutally honest on the worst hero in existence or magically gaining Quirks… It’s normally the cute ones you have to watch out for.”