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All it took was one glance across the hangar for your boyfriend Poe to realise that something was wrong.
today had been going so well, in fact, you had managed to get by with only a few small bumps here and there, but now what little confidence in yourself you had managed to gain was collapsing all around you. Your anxiety had completely taken over.
The past few days had not been good ones. All of them had been filled with at least one panic attack. They seemed to be caused by the smallest things - this one being no exception. You had been rushing down the hallway and had accidentally brushed shoulders with Finn. Despite how many times you profusely apologised and Finn profusely reassured you that everything was okay, you couldn’t seem to stop the adrenaline that was seeping through your veins. You were tired of it. Tired of feeling on edge and physically drained all the time.
BB-8 who had been rolling around Poe’s feet beeped in annoyance as Poe took off across the hangar, narrowly avoiding a clash with one of the mechanic’s trolleys. By now it felt as if someone had their hands around your throat, and were slowly easing their strength into choking you. Every breath you took seemed to make it so much worse, but you couldn’t exactly just stop breathing. Noticing your boyfriend hurrying over to you did, however, provide you with a few moments of solace.
“(Y/N)?” mumbled Poe, stopping only a few centimetres away from you. BB-8 wedged his way between the two of you and moved his head so he was looking directly up at you. It was an awfully funny sight and if you hadn’t been so focused on trying to calm yourself down, you probably would have laughed.
As much as Poe being there for you when you were having an anxiety attack was very helpful, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Your anxiety attacks had been so frequent recently, and you felt as if with everyone, Poe’s patience with you was wearing thin. This, of course, was not the case. Poe didn’t care that his sleep schedule was getting off track because you kept waking him up in the middle of the night, a sobbing mess. All he cared about was you being okay.
“Let’s get you back to your room, yeah?” Poe asked, and with a small nod from you in agreement, he took your hand and lead you out of the hangar.
Being away from the large crowd had instantly begun to impact on the physical side of your attack. Your breathing was still irrational and heavy, but you were finding it a lot less painful. Poe draped his arm over your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. For a few moments, you completely forgot about the whole situation. It was just you and Poe (and of course BB-8, who was following along behind the two of you) and there was nothing that could harm you.
The journey to your room was full of soft touches to your back and small comments (or beeps) of reassurance from both Poe and his droid. It was good to be in a familiar place. A place where you didn’t have to suppress your emotions. Despite having reached your room, Poe didn’t let go of you. Instead, he sat both you and him down on your bed, wrapping his other arm around you as well.
“It’s going to be okay, (Y/N).”
It was such a cliche thing to say and had it been coming from anybody else, you would have just completely disregarded it. The way that it sounded, coming from Poe’s mouth and being muffled due to the fact that his face was pressed against your hair, made it sound like a promise.
“I’m just… I-” your voice cracked gently, causing you to slowly take a deep breath. In and out. Just the way Poe always instructed you to. “That’s the second time that I’ve bumped into Finn and… what if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he thinks I’m clumsy and doe-” You were cut off by a nudge at your leg and a few beeps.
“Hey, don’t say that!” Poe moved his head so he was able to glare down, although very jokingly, at his droid. “But it’s very true. I bump into Finn all the time. Like - I’m talking at least once every two hours. He’s still my friend.”
“But you’re Poe Dameron. Everyone wants to be friends with Poe Dameron.”
The small smile that had been playing on Poe’s lips seemed to drop instantly. He tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear and held your face in his hands so you had no option but to look at him.
“And you’re (Y/N) (L/N). You’re the bravest person I know. Not only because you’re one kick-ass pilot, and believe me, you are. The fact that you deal with shit like this and at the end of the day can still be the amazing person you are is just so… so… amazing.” With that, Poe placed a small kiss to your forehead and wrapped his arms back around you, gently easing your head onto his shoulder.
BB-8 let out beep of agreement and softly nudged you once again.
You really were the most amazing person Poe knew. It was so hard for him to put into words just how much he loved and appreciated you for being as strong as you were. Poe knew you didn’t think the same about yourself and it killed him. Even if you didn’t agree with what he said, he would continue to tell you in the hopes that one day you would.