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Mia’s not too sure about this.
Sure, she’s technically done it before, but being thrust unexpectedly into the past by a cosmic being is very different from consciously making the decision to board a time ship and traveling twenty years into the past.
After everything she’s seen in the last year, it still makes her head hurt to know that this is even possible. She can just get on a time ship and visit her city twenty years ago. That’s insane and it seriously messes with Mia’s want for everything to make logical sense.
Still, she’s so grateful for this chance. Her father asked her for one thing and she had no idea how to complete it until now. It’s been eating at her since she awoke in 2040 again after the blast of antimatter that destroyed the multiverse pulled her from 2019. He asked her for one thing so that he could die knowing that his wife would know one last time that he loves her with everything in him and Mia had no clue how to fulfill his wish until now.
This way, she can find her mother and tell her how much he loves her. That opportunity means the world to Mia.
“You need to stay out of the way until I tell you, okay? Everyone’s very fragile at the moment.” Sara tells her as they exit the Waverider once it lands in the other blonde’s present and Mia nods, knowing that the Captain is right.
With the grief of losing her father weighing down on them all, Mia doesn’t want to add to their pain, she wants the opposite. She wants to help her mother grieve, to ease her suffering in any way that she can. Scaring her is definitely not at the top of Mia’s list.
The Crisis has changed everything, Mia notes as she and Sara move quickly through the streets of Star City. The place had seemed like a utopia to Mia when she first landed with William and Connor months ago, simply because it wasn’t the desolate and grimy city that Mia knows in 2040. This is something completely different, however. It’s almost as if someone has put a filter over the entire city. The sun seems to shine brighter and that reflects off of the somehow impeccably clean surfaces of the building to create a sparkling cacophony above the streets.
It’s all a little bittersweet for Mia, knowing what had to happen to make this possible. Just being here reminds her of her father and the incredible opportunity she was given to spend time with him. Since she had to watch him die, laid out on that gurney and looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, she’s been kicking herself for not taking more advantage of what was given to her.
She should have hugged him more, told him she loved him more, and it makes her feels extremely nauseous to know that she should have fought harder to save him in that battle. If he could change all this, couldn’t she have done something to stop his pain?
“Hey, I know what you’re thinking.”
Sara’s soft voice makes Mia jolt and it’s only then that she realizes she’s stopped dead in the middle of the street, staring up at the high rise in front of her which reads ‘Queen Incorporated’ on its sign.
“He made everyone’s lives better but he’s not here to see it? What’s the point in that?” Mia questions thickly, looking over at Sara who smiles at her softly.
“Your mother said the exact same thing.” She comments gently, stepping closer to Mia and looking up at the building herself. “He would’ve done anything for your family. Even if he had to die for you, he made sure that you and your mother and your brother and everyone would live a better life. He loved you and this was his final way of letting you know just how much.”
“I don’t want it without him.”
“I know.”
Sara doesn’t say anything more, just places a gentle hand on Mia’s shoulder as she stands there staring at the building in front of her. Staring up at this, a facet of her father’s legacy she’s never really considered before, the true weight of his sacrifice hits Mia but she can’t find it in herself to cry. Instead, her heart feels ready to burst, she’s just so proud to be able to say she’s the daughter of such an incredible hero.
She swallows the lump in her throat and turns to look at Sara with a teary smile only to find one reflected back at her. “You good?”
“Let’s go find Mom.”
The bunker looks so different as Sara leads Mia in the garage entrance so as to keep her hidden from sight. It’s a comfort, to see something so familiar when the world outside is so different to what Mia came to know during her time here. Even the large crates are in the exact same spot as they make their way through the room that acts mainly as storage and towards the main area of the bunker.
There’s quite a bit of noise making its way through the door and it’s obvious that the bunker is full of people, all of them talking to each other. No one’s shouting, so it doesn’t seem like they’ve entered at an inopportune moment, and Sara gestures to the wall next to the door, indicating to Mia to stay out of sight.
She nods with a small smile, pressing close to the wall as Sara enters the bunker, causing some of the voices to still and the din settles down to something far more discernible.
“Sara, there you are.”
Mia’s heart hammers at the distinctive sound of her mother’s voice. She couldn’t have imagined the way that it hammers through her like a jolt before softening and spreading through her veins like a warm drink on a cold day. It takes everything in Mia to not rush out into the bunker there and then to wrap her mother in a hug.
It’s been so long.
“Hey, listen I need you to promise me you won’t get mad at me for this,” Sara speaks and Mia presses herself impossibly closer to the door in anticipation of hearing her mother speak again. Now that she’s heard it once, she needs to hear her voice again, to allow it to have its usual calming effect on her. It’s a balm and one that Mia wants more than anything else right now.
“Mad at you for what?”
“There’s someone here who wants to see you.”
Mia’s limbs suddenly feel like cast iron as she recognizes her cue from Sara. She wants nothing more than to see her mother but here and now, faced with the realization of it, her stomach is fluttering anxiously with nerves as she forces her feet to walk around the corner.
The bunker is filled with people, Mia had been right about that, and there are many faces she recognizes staring back at her in shock but Mia is only interested in one of them.
Her mother is stood between Sara and Diggle, her face a mixture of shock, confusion, and joy. Mia takes in the sight of her mother as if she were a glass of water after a trek in the desert, her eyes not quite able to believe what she’s seeing.
Mia’s heart is hammering in her chest and her eyes immediately fill to the brim with tears as a wave of emotion floods over her. Her breathing is extremely shaky and her legs feel like they might give out from underneath her at any moment.
Mia knows she hasn’t felt truly like herself for a long time. There have been so many changes in her life and then with the shock of being thrust into the past a few months ago, she’s never had the chance to think about why her heart has felt so empty.
Until her eyes landed upon her mother’s familiar face.
Mia can’t believe how quickly a feeling of safety and home settles over her just by looking at her mom. Her father may be able to take down twenty men with his bare hands but no-one has ever made her feel so protected as her mother’s mere presence does now.
This is home, this is safe, this is what Mia knows she’s been missing.
Felicity grasps Diggle’s hands next to her, her other hand rising to clutch at her stomach as her eyes swoop over Mia’s form with a look of pure elated shock on her face. Mia can do nothing but stare right back at her, her eyes filling to the brim with unshed tears as she takes in the face of her mother, twenty years younger than how she last remembers seeing her.
She’s beautiful and a gentle balm to Mia’s bruised heart.
“Mi… Mia?”
The sound of her mother speaking her name finally sends Mia over the edge and the tears fall hard and fast. She blinks through the watery film to watch as Felicity lets go of Sara and Diggle and takes the few shaky steps to close the distance between them.
“You know who I am?” Mia stutters out, her voice shaky and unsure as her heart pounds unevenly and loudly. This is her mom, the woman who was her best and only friend for so long.
She can’t quite believe she’s here.
“Oh my sweet girl, I would know your face anywhere,” Felicity tells her, tears of her own pouring down her cheeks and Mia lets out a strange, strangled noise as she lifts her hand to cup her cheek softly. The metal of her wedding ring is cold against Mia’s skin and it contrasts with the tender touch that Mia cannot resist nuzzling into. “Oh my goodness, look at you. You’re so grown up!”
“Mom…” She whispers, unable to say anything more as she stands there, sure her legs are about to give out. Felicity tilts her head, smiling that familiar affectionate smile that Mia remembers so well.
“Oh, can I…?” She questions, holding out her arms and it’s all the prompt Mia needs to finally throw herself into her mother’s arms.
They stumble back a few steps under the force of Mia’s embrace but Felicity easily catches them, her arms just as tight around Mia. She pulls Mia so tight to her that the girl can barely tell where she ends and Felicity begins but she pushes herself impossibly closer, breathing in the familiar scent of home. The young girl clings desperately to her mother, she hadn’t realized how much she needed this. There, finally, in the familiar safety of her mother’s arms, she allows herself to fall apart.
Mia’s vaguely aware of Sara and Diggle moving, forcing everyone else out of the room but despite the gentle noise and disturbance it causes around them, Mia can only concentrate on the steady beating of her mother’s heart against the skin of Mia’s own chest.
“I’m so sorry Mama, I tried so hard, but I couldn’t save him.” She sobs, her voice almost indiscernible as she clings desperately to her mother. So what if this a version of her mother who hasn’t fully raised her yet? Her arms feel the same around her and her hands feel the same in Mia’s hair and across her back as she holds her.
“Oh, Mia. Shh, it’s okay, baby.” Felicity whispers reassuringly as Mia clings tighter to her, her tears falling like a waterfall down her mother’s neck.
“I should’ve done something, should’ve fought harder, I…” She finds herself spilling out, her hands fisting in the thick material of her mother’s sweater. Felicity’s hand rubs soothingly over her back and Mia shakes with a wracking sob as she feels her mother turn to kiss her temple fiercely.
Her hands loosen around Mia and the young girl blanches for a moment from the sudden lack of support until Felicity’s hands land on her face and pull her gaze towards her. “Mia, sweetheart, look at me. This is not on you. You did everything you could. I am so proud of you.”
Her mother’s voice is fierce and determined despite the tears that also track her cheeks and Mia shakes with a shudder as she tells her she’s proud.
“I…” She blanches, attempts to find the right thing to say but Felicity merely shakes her head, tenderly wiping away her tears with her knuckles.
“I know. C’mere.” She prompts and tugs Mia back into her arms. The young girl goes willingly, allowing the familiarity and depth of her mother’s loving embrace to finally lift the weight from her shoulders. “Oh, my sweet girl.”
Mia couldn’t tell you how long they stand there, each of them clinging to the other. This isn’t the mother Mia knows inside out nor is Mia the version Felicity knows, but they allow each other to cry through it, knowing that no matter the version, the two of them will always share a bond deeper than anything else.
Mia finally finds the strength to pull back, wiping her tears as her mother does the same before they share a sad smile. “There’s one other thing,” Mia tells her gently and Felicity nods, gently grasping her hand and leading her over to the couch around the other side of raised platform in the middle of the bunker.
Mia is grateful for the seat underneath her shaky legs and she keeps a hold of her mother’s hand, holding it in both of hers as if it were a precious stone.
“Mia, whatever it is, you can tell me,” Felicity promises, her face tilted in concern at Mia’s behavior and the young girl takes a deep breath, nodding. She looks down at their hands and the plain band of metal looped around her mother’s fourth finger that promises forever. The thought makes her heart clench and she forces herself to breathe.
“Dad asked me to do something, before he died the first time.” She starts, chancing a look back up at her mother to find her smiling encouragingly. It’s a small smile, tentative almost, but it’s there and it gives Mia the strength to keep talking. “He told me to find you… and to tell you how much he loves you.”
Her face splits into a far bigger smile at Mia’s words, even as her eyes contrastingly flood with tears again.
“That man… as if I didn’t already know.” She comments with a light chuckle, reaching over with her other hand to lovingly stroke her wedding ring before she cups Mia’s cheek. “Thank you, my love, that means a lot to me.”
Felicity pulls her into another hug and Mia melts into her, resting her head against her shoulder. As her mother’s arms wrap around her, Mia looks upwards, hoping that wherever her father is, it gives him peace of mind to know that Mia fulfilled his wish.
They both look up at the sound of the elevator and Mia frowns as Sara appears with a half-smile, half-sheepish expression on her face. “Hey, sorry to interrupt but there’s someone else here.”
The blonde steps aside to reveal a teenage boy who reaches around her height with messy brown hair and light brown eyes that are very familiar to Mia.
William.
“Felicity?” The teenager asks hopefully, looking over at their mother with his eyes wide. It’s clear that the past few days have unsurprisingly had an effect on the boy from the way his shoulders are slumped and he’s carrying himself with a heavy weight but it seems to lighten just a little when his eyes find Felicity.
“Hi, honey. C’mere.” Felicity smiles sadly, keeping her hand in Mia’s as she offers her other arm to the boy. He rushes over quickly, taking her hand and staying stood as he smiles sadly back at her.
It’s odd to Mia, to see her big brother in front of her but for him to be so small. To her, William has always been a beacon of advice and hope, a guide for her, whether she wants him to be or not. To see him so young and unsure is certainly something.
If it wasn’t such a somber atmosphere, it would delight Mia for the teasing material.
“Grandma dropped me off,” William explains and Felicity nods, squeezing his hand. Mia notices Sara watching with a smile and the Captain nods at her before leaving the room again. Her moving seems to finally attract the boy’s attention and he looks at her, his brow furrowing. “You’re Mia, right? From the future?”
Mia blinks in surprise, looking between her mother and the boy with her mouth dropped open. “How did you…?”
William shakes his head with a slight affectionate eye roll that Mia is very familiar with. “You look like Felicity… and like Dad when you frown.”
“Yeah, you say that in the future too.” Mia can’t help but grin, thinking of the version of William she knows and how much he likes to point out her similarities to their parents. It makes the William in front of her freeze, however, and he looks at her with sad eyes filling with tears.
“Felicity said you were with him.” He states, his voice far gentler than it was a moment ago and Mia swallows thickly at the sudden change, her own grief rushing back into her with the force of a freight train.
“I was the first time.” She confirms, nodding her head and William takes a deep breath.
“Was… was he…” The boy stutters out, clearly unable to find the words, and Mia frowns, lifting one of her hands from Felicity’s and reaching out slowly. William makes no clear objection so Mia places it tenderly on his shoulder, swallowing again before taking a deep breath of her own.
“He told me to tell you just how much he loves you and asked that we keep him in our hearts.” Mia relays, feeling her own tears spill over at the way that her brother just melts, his shoulders wracking as he cries.
“I miss him.” The teenager sobs through his tears and Mia feels Felicity lurch forward with tears of her own flooding her cheeks. Mia runs a hand over her back as she grasps William’s hand tightly, pressing his palm to her lips as she soothingly rubs his other arm.
“I miss him too.” Mia finds herself saying and she squeezes his arm when William looks up at her. She can’t do anything to change what’s happened but if she can give her brother and mother some comfort now in the aftermath, she knows she’ll be doing what her father would’ve wanted. “But hey, we were the lucky ones, to love and have been loved by him. That is something that no one can ever take away from us, okay?”
Her voice cracks as more of her own tears spill over but William gives her a shaky nod before lurching forward into her arms. Mia startles a little in surprise that he’d reach for her and not Felicity, but quickly adjusts to hold him tightly as they both cry.
“Thank you.” Her mother mouths at her over William’s shoulder but Mia waves her off. Comforting her brother is really the least she can do.
“Are you staying?” William questions after he’s calmed a little, stumbling out of her arms and into Felicity’s loose embrace.
“Hmm?” Mia frowns, confused at his question.
“For the funeral, it’s tomorrow,” William confirms and Mia freezes, having not even thought of the possibility. It wasn’t the point of the visit but she’d love the chance to say goodbye properly with her family by her side and judging by the way her mother is looking at her hopefully, she’d be welcome to do so.
“Oh um, yeah. Yeah, I’m staying.” Mia nods with a small smile, her heart leaping slightly at the nod of approval it gains her from her not-so-big brother. She takes in the sight of them, William half on Felicity’s lap and smiles sadly, reaching for both of their hands.
It’s not at all what any of them would have wanted, but they have each other to get each other through it, and that is a blessing in and of itself.