Chapter Text
Chapter 10
The monotone beeping sound of the heart monitor was the only noise in the room. Cas sat next to Dean’s hospital bed on an uncomfortable white plastic chair, holding Dean’s hand. He blamed himself for the situation. He was only able to save Dean from being turned into a… werepire, but he hadn’t managed to heal the rest of his wounds.
Although he didn’t mind slowly turning human, he really hated that he couldn’t heal Dean anymore. He bit down on his lower lip, trying his best to distract himself from the turmoil in his chest. The reality had been a rude awakening.
If something happened to Dean… He didn’t know if he could go through all this again. Losing someone he loved.
And he loved Dean. He wanted to be with him. But in the past few weeks, what had held him back was a simple reason. Fear. They led a dangerous life. And any day could be their last.
He remembered Mick’s words though, telling him that everything was worth it.
And although Cas thought the same, the fear lingered, paralyzed him in making a decision.
His mind reminded him that if Dean died before they tried to have a relationship, he would never experience happiness again. And he couldn’t predict the future. What if they decided to try this and ended up getting old together?
If he said no to their relationship out of fear, then he would miss out on everything good that could be.
He sighed and leaned down to kiss the back of Dean’s hand, holding it to his lips as he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to miss out on this. Dean made him happy, and Cas… he wanted to be happy.
When Dean’s hand squeezed back, he turned to look up, seeing Dean shift slightly against the bed with a deep groan of pain.
"Dean?" Cas asked carefully before he carded his fingers through his hair.
Dean slowly blinked his eyes open, and when they fell on Cas’s face, his lips curled up in a loving smile. He grimaced as he moved to sit up, and furrowed his brow as he looked at the wires and tubes attached to him.
Cas pressed his palm on Dean's chest. "Lay still. You were badly hurt."
Dean groaned as he lifted the blanket to look down at himself, and then turned to Cas. He flashed him another smile as he rested his head against the pillow. “What happened?”
"The... um, werepire attacked you. I'm sorry, I could only prevent you from turning into one of those, too; I didn't have enough power to heal your injuries. So I brought you here. You lost a lot of blood." Cas squeezed Dean's hand before he sighed and looked down at the bed sheet. "They are all dead now."
There was a beat of silence as Dean grasped Cas’s hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. He leaned back again and gave Cas a dazed smile. “So… you’re sayin’ I won the bet?”
"I won't wear the t-shirt," Cas replied dryly before he smiled. Dean had weird priorities. "But you can ask anything else." He hoped the insinuation was clear to Dean.
Dean chuckled, which prompted him to cough slightly. “I’m legally dead and you technically don’t exist, I don’t think we can get married.”
Cas stared at Dean for a few minutes, waiting for his brain to work again. "Wh... What?
“Just kiss me,” Dean said with a soft laugh as he nodded for Cas to come closer.
Cas's heart beat way too fast as he leaned over to kiss Dean. Dean’s words were still on his mind. "Dean," he whispered against his lips. “Is that really something you wish?” he asked quietly as he leaned back to look at him.
Dean let out a soft laugh as he gently caressed Cas’s cheek. “I think I owe you a date first.”
The warmth from Dean's palm felt soothing, so he leaned his head against it. "I think you do. But first you need to get better, Dean."
“How long I gotta stay here?” Dean asked with a soft huff of frustration.
"I don't know," Cas replied with a sigh. "We must wait to hear what the doctor says."
Dean pursed his lips before he said, “So, I’m guessing sex in the hospital bed is out of the question?”
Cas crossed his arms over his chest. "Absolutely. I want to get you out of here as soon as possible."
“Damnit,” he said with a laugh as he started pressing the call button on the remote for the nurse.
A moment later, a young man with long hair pulled back in a ponytail appeared in the doorway. “Mr. Mercury! You’re awake.”
Dean nodded and tugged on his IV. “Yeah, can I go home now?”
The nurse appeared taken aback for a moment before he shook his head and said, “I’m going to get the doctor.”
Dean let out a soft sigh and sank back against the pillows. He looked over at Cas and whined, “Are you sure we can’t have a little sex?”
Cas raised his eyebrow. “No, and stop asking. The doctor will be here soon, and if you’re lucky they’ll let you go.” He tried to sound serious, but he couldn’t help the smile tugging on his lips with Dean’s whining.
That was met with a small huff. “You’re no fun,” he said, the small smile belying his true feelings.
"I think I can live with that," Cas replied dryly.
They were interrupted when the doctor, a handsome middle aged man with a friendly smile, came in. "Mr. Mercury. My name is Dr. Corvin. I've heard you already want to leave us?"
Dean nodded and held his IV out to the man. “Yeah, we'd like to go home.”
The doctor chuckled and pulled out his stethoscope as he approached the bed. “We’ll run a few more tests, I’ll get a tech in here to draw some labs, and I’d like to get another X-ray. Then we can talk discharge.”
“What if I just leave?”
Dr. Corvin quirked his brow as he put the earpieces in and held out the resonator. “You can leave AMA – we can’t stop you – but your insurance won’t cover this visit if you do.”
Cas rubbed his hand over his forehead. "Will we endanger his healing process if I take him home now?"
“I can’t say until we’ve run the tests.”
Cas raised his eyebrow at Dean. “I know you want to go home, but maybe we should wait.” He was really worried about Dean, especially because he couldn’t do anything to help him.
Dean sighed and nodded. “Fine.”
Dr. Corvin chuckled. “I’ll try to see if we can expedite the process.” With that, he gave them both a reassuring smile and left the room.
Cas grabbed Dean’s hand again and squeezed it. “I just don’t want to risk anything. Get better first. You still owe me a date.”
Dean drew their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to Cas’s knuckles. “Can’t say no to you.”
"Good," Cas replied softly. He would make sure to use that knowledge in their future together.
…. :::: :::: ….
“Wakey, wakey, Sunshine…”
Cas blinked his eyes open, surprised to see Dean awake and dressed, leaning over him. "It's very early, Dean," Cas murmured after a quick glance at the alarm on Dean's night stand. "Why are you awake?"
Dean smiled as he pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “It’s a surprise. I have coffee waiting for you.” He stood up and held his hand out for Cas to take.
Cas took his hand and let himself get pulled up, wondering what Dean wanted to do.
He smiled and quietly pulled him through the bunker and into the garage after Cas had dressed. Dean opened the passenger side door of the Impala for Cas with a small bow as he chuckled. There was a couple of to-go cups on the dashboard.
Cas couldn't help but smile back at Dean before he gave him a questioning look. "Where are we going?" he asked as he sat down in the car.
Dean slipped behind the wheel and looked at the clock display on his radio. It was three in the morning. “You up for a road trip?”
"Sure, do I get a hint?" Cas smiled before he leaned over and kissed Dean's cheek. Just because he could.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Dean winked as he started the engine and put the car in drive, gently pulling out to the sounds of the orchestra accompanying the rock band he loved.
“Can we listen to this?” Cas asked carefully as he held up the tape Dean had made for him. Cas knew that Dean was sensitive about the tape, but he hoped that maybe he had changed his mind.
Dean nodded and flashed him a small smile. “Yeah, anything you want.”
Cas felt incredibly relieved by Dean's reply. It seemed like they really were moving forward in their relationship. “I like this band,” he murmured after a while of listening to the tape.
The smile he was rewarded with was almost as blinding as Cas’s true form. Dean nodded and said, “That’s, like, the ultimate testament to how good they are. A friggin’ angel likes them.”
Cas smiled and tilted his head. “I had no idea my species was a form of measurement.”
“Didn’t you? It goes like this,” Dean started as he used his right hand to show his measurements, “Lucifer, demons, Crowley, babies, old people, Neil Peart, cherubs, full angels, Chuck, you.”
Cas quirked his brow, trying to hide his smirk. “You put me above God?”
Dean nodded emphatically. “Definitely.”
"It's still a weird list though, but thank you for the compliment." Cas couldn't help but smile at Dean again. He always managed to make him smile, to make him happy.
Dean chuckled. “Fact, not a compliment.”
Dean could be rather charming when he wanted to be. Cas tried to hide his smile by looking out the window. He slid closer to Dean before he dropped a kiss on his shoulder. “It’s nice to go somewhere without it being a case.”
Dean slid his arm around Cas and drew him close, the other hand propped against the wheel with the ease and air of confidence of a man who knew the ins and outs of his vehicle better than his own bodily construction. He chuckled again. “Yeah. It doesn’t happen enough.”
Cas nodded against Dean's shoulder before he pressed a gentle and lingering kiss to Dean's throat. "This is very nice. Thank you."
The hunter pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “Just you wait.”
"I still don't get a hint?" Cas asked with a smile on his face; one that mirrored the content feeling of being held in Dean's arms.
“Not even a little hint.”
"I could try guessing?" Cas suggested. “Is it a place where they sell pie?”
Dean barked out a laugh and smirked. “I like the way you think, but no.”
“Burgers?” Cas guessed again.
“Man, now I’m worried you’re gonna be disappointed with where I’m taking you.”
"I don't believe that will happen. I'm already happy that we're spending time with each other." Cas turned to look up at Dean. "Is this our date?"
Dean flashed him a surreptitious smile. “Maybe…”
"Just maybe?" Cas laughed at Dean before he took a sip from his coffee.
The way the hunter’s lips curled up in an even sweeter smile filled his chest with a fluttering reminiscent of wings, like that of a bee. Maybe even a hummingbird. Dean started gently caressing Cas’s arm as he turned onto the highway. “You got me.”
Cas hummed along with the music before he asked, "How long until we get there?"
“Couple of hours maybe?”
Cas gave him a surprised look. "That's a long way for a date. Are you sure it’s alright? What if Sam finds a case?"
Dean quirked his brow and let out a snort of derision. “He’s got Eileen. They can handle one case without us.”
Somehow that made him feel warm all over. "So, spending time with me is more important to you than a case?"
“Making you smile is definitely more important than a case.”
"Dean Winchester," Cas shook his head. "I had no idea you could be romantic."
Dean rolled his eyes and shoved at Cas. “Shut up.”
"What? I like it." Cas grinned and looked out of the window. "Makes me feel special."
“You are, Cas. You are.”
For a long time they didn't say anything, just enjoyed the ride in companionable silence, the music and roaring of the engine, the only sounds in the car. Cas had closed his eyes, the sunlight of a rising morning warming his face through the windshield. “When did you figure it out? That you like me as more than just a friend.”
There was a beat of silence before Dean let out a soft sigh. “Purgatory. I refused to think what I felt for you was more than friendship for years, but I knew. I knew then.”
"Why then?"
Dean pressed a kiss to the crown of his head as he gently covered Cas’s right hand with his own. “I’d looked for you, for a year. And even though I was ninety five percent sure you were dead, especially considering Benny kept saying you were, that damn five percent was enough to make me keep searching. And then I saw you by the river. You were filthy, had a scraggly beard, looked like a friggin’ crazed hobo…” Dean chuckled. “And you were the most beautiful thing I’d seen in a long time.”
Cas squeezed himself closer to Dean, closing his eyes as he remembered the moment. "I was so shocked to see you. Every day I wished you would just give up on me and leave Purgatory. I didn't think I deserved to be saved.”
“Well, you didn’t get a choice, ‘cause I was gonna bring you back with me if it was the last thing I did. And it very well might have been,” he said with a soft laugh.
"We've lost each other so often over the years, but we always find our way back to each other. It's a nice thought that we always end up together again," Cas mused quietly.
Dean shifted slightly to take hold of the wheel with both hands as he took a sharp turn off the exit ramp of the highway. He flashed him a quick smile as he said, “I’d say it was fate, but that bitch hates us.”
"Hate is a strong word." Cas shrugged when he thought about his last encounter with her. "But accurate." He turned to face Dean with a bright smile. "Our profound bond is probably stronger than fate."
Dean chuckled as he wrapped his arm over Cas’s shoulder again once they were on the main road. “I’ll never forget Sammy’s face when you said that to me the first time. He looked so sad and confused that you liked me better.”
“Back then I was a very crappy liar. I knew it wasn't nice to say, but he asked." Cas chuckled.
“Hey, man. That’s what he gets for asking.”
As Dean made a turn onto a rather long, slightly winding road, the sun was rising, and the vibrant green of the trees and foliage that surrounded the road was almost comparable to the eye color of the man presently driving it. After passing a lake and continuing down a winding drive, Dean turned right into an exceedingly large parking lot. As he pulled into a space, he turned to Cas and smiled. “We’re here.”
"At Lake Shawnee?" Cas asked before he exited the car with Dean. He walked up close to him and looked around. The sky was picturesque that morning, painting the few clouds in soft pink and orange hues. Birds were singing in the lush trees surrounding the parking space.
Dean grabbed his hand and guided him to a large building. There was a sign: Welcome to Ted Ensley Gardens. He smiled and said, “This is one of the best public gardens in all of Kansas.”
Cas was surprised. "Have you been here before?"
“Once,” he said with a nod. “Back when you were human. After I kicked you out I tried to find you, so I went to every public garden in the state.”
That was new information. Something he hadn't expected. "You tried to find me?"
Dean gave him a sad smile. “Out of all of the things I’ve done in my past, terrible things, I only have one regret. And it was abandoning you when you needed me most.”
"You had good reason to." It was a hard time back then and Cas had needed Dean. But when he found out why Dean had done it, he instantly forgave him.
Dean cupped his face, looking more serious than he’d ever seen him. “No, Cas. I didn’t. I should have stood up for you. I should have been there for you.”
"You couldn't risk your brother's life, Dean. You know I would never want you to endanger Sam just because of me."
He let out a mirthless chuckle. “I’ll never want my brother hurt, but I’m tired of hurting someone I love because of my stupid need to protect a man who is more than capable of taking care of himself. He’s so damn strong. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it.”
"It doesn't matter anymore. That was in the past, and I’d rather look at our future," Cas replied softly.
Dean smiled shyly. He held his hand out for Cas to take. “Our future. I like the sound of that.”
Cas leaned in for another soft kiss and a second one right after, just because Dean let him. "Would you show me the garden?"
With a faint nod, Dean drew away, but never released his hand. After he paid their admission, he opened the door of the main office building and the moment they stepped outside again, there was an elongated cobblestone path surrounded by thousands of different colored flowers. From tulips to birds of paradise, it was almost a recreation of his favorite Heaven to visit. The colors and smells were intoxicating.
There were even bees and butterflies flying around them. "Dean, this is beautiful."
“Yeah,” Dean breathed out, but when he turned to look at him, his focus was entirely on Cas.
Cas felt himself blushing, a shy smile playing around his lips as he pulled Dean closer. "Dean," he murmured before he cupped his cheek and kissed him gently. "Thank you for bringing me here. This is already the best date of my life."
For a second he felt guilty again, thinking about Mick. But he knew that Mick would want him to be happy. And for the first time it didn’t hurt thinking about him. The pain was gone, and all that was left were the pleasant memories he had of Mick.
Dean chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Mine too.”
Cas squeezed his hand before they continued down the trail. It felt peaceful. There were only a few other people in the garden and every time they were alone, Cas stole a soft kiss from Dean's lips. "So what do you usually do on a date? My only knowledge comes from movies, and I’m not sure how accurate those are."
That was met with a shrug. Dean chuckled and said, “Well, normal people usually go to dinner and a movie. But we’re kinda the furthest thing from normal.”
"True," Cas replied with a smile when they walked past an ice cream stand. "Do you want ice cream?"
“Hell yeah,” he said as he pulled Cas back to the stand. Even at the stand, Dean didn’t let go of his hand. “Is your mojo still low enough to taste ice cream?”
"Yes," Cas answered thoughtfully before he smiled at Dean. "I told you being almost human had some advantages."
Dean smirked. “Can’t argue that. So, what flavor would you like?”
“What is the bright blue one?” Cas asked as he squinted his eyes at the blue ice cream.
Before Dean could answer, the ice cream vendor replied in a monotone voice, "It's Smurf. We make it fresh from Smurfs."
Cas looked over at Dean with a confused head tilt, mouthing the word, “Smurfs?”
It was obvious Dean was trying very hard to keep a straight face. “I showed you the cartoon, remember?”
"Oh, right." Cas remembered now. "The one with the ridiculously happy blue creatures that had only one female version in their village and one father. I think I'll take that ice cream."
Dean chuckled and said, “Two Smurf ice creams please.”
The vendor snickered, and prepared them each a Smurf ice cream cone. "You kids have fun."
"Thank you," Cas replied with a friendly smile as he put the money from his trenchcoat pocket on the man's counter.
He gave the ice cream a suspicious look as they walked to a bench and sat down. It had a nice view of the lake and ducks were running around them, searching for food.
Cas carefully licked at the blue Smurf ice cream. It must have contained a lot of sugar, because it was very sweet and like nothing he had ever tasted. "I had no idea Smurf would taste so good."
Dean shook his head in amusement as he took a bite of his ice cream. “I’m wondering if it would break your heart to know it’s not actually Smurf.”
Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean. "So if it isn't Smurf, what is it?"
“I think it’s just a vanilla ice cream dyed blue.” Dean ended up getting some of the ice cream on his chin, but he clearly couldn’t feel it as he kept on eating the treat.
Cas leaned forward and rubbed the ice cream away with his thumb before he licked it from his own finger. It tasted like ice cream plus Dean. So he leaned in one more time to capture Dean's lips in a soft kiss, licking to taste the ice cream directly from Dean. When he leaned back he gave Dean a dreamy smile. “Whatever it is, it tastes better from your lips.”
Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulder. “So, I’m your favorite flavor?”
"Yes, you most definitely are," Cas replied with a smile before he kissed him again. This time he deepened the kiss, licking over Dean's tongue. He felt breathless when he pulled back and looked at Dean.
The sun was hitting Dean's face at just the right angle to make his eyes shine with bright happiness. Cas couldn't look away from him, and that was when he realized that there was no guilt accompanying his own happiness.
There was only Dean, their date, and eating ice cream on a bench. And Cas knew he had never felt perfection like this before in his life. And he also realized that he was going to be okay. He smiled at Dean, despite a tear falling from his eyes. A tear of relief.
“Everything is going to be okay. I believe that now.” His smile grew wider as he added, “Good things do happen.”
Dean gently caressed his cheek, wiping away the tear with the pad of his thumb. “Of course they do. You being in my life is proof of that.”
"Dean," Cas breathed out before he leaned in for another gentle kiss. "I love you. I'm happy that we're giving this... us a chance."
“Me, too, Cas. And we can still take it as slow as you need. I know that… I know that you still miss Mick, and you’ll always love him. I know we’re still going kind of fast considering you’re still grieving. So, your pace. Whatever you need.”
Cas looked down and bit his lip before he nodded. "I'm... I'm fine, Dean." A smile tugged at his lips as he looked at the hunter. "I just thought of him and I didn't feel sad anymore. He wants me to be happy, and I feel ready. I feel ready to be happy again."
Dean smiled and held Cas’s free hand. “I’m glad I’m not the asshole making you sad for once.”
"It's a new start for both of us, to do it right this time." Cas squeezed his hand before he returned his attention to his ice cream.
They sat there in companionable silence, holding hands and finishing their ice cream cones. The sun had completely risen by that time, and the light of this new day was a rather poetic comparison to their new start. Dean gave him a small smile and said, “Wanna go see where they keep their bees?”
Cas smiled brightly at Dean when the excitement bubbled up in his chest. "Of course, yes!"
Dean chuckled and moved to stand, pulling Cas up with him. “Come on.”
Cas loved that Dean was so committed to this. That he had overcome being uncomfortable with being affectionate in public places. Cas wasn't the only one who had changed a lot over the past few months. Dean had too.
"I thought you didn't like bees?"
“I friggin’ hate ‘em.”
Cas shook his head with a smile. "And still you want to show them to me."
Dean shrugged. “You like ‘em.”
"I do. Very much. I think it's because they remind me of Heaven, how it used to be. Everyone had his work, his mission to work as a collective for a common goal." Which was probably why he felt nostalgic every time he saw a bee. "They also make honey, and I like honey."
That was met with a fond chuckle as he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “Then you’re in luck. They sell their honey in the gift shop.”
"Look, Mommy, that man just kissed the other man!" A young child near them exclaimed, very loudly.
Cas looked over at them, watching as the mother tried to shush her child, looking really embarrassed. He tilted his head and turned to the boy. "Yes, because he is my... um... boyfriend?" He had no idea if that was the correct term for them.
Dean nodded and pulled his hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “Sounds good to me.”
Cas smiled at him before he turned back to the boy who replied, "But you're not a girl. You can only have a boyfriend as a girl. That's the rule."
“Well, technically, he’s an angel, so that rule doesn’t apply to him,” Dean told the child as he winked at Cas.
"Pffft." The kid crossed his arms across his chest. "He has no wings. And he looks like a ma–"
The mother clapped her hand over her child’s mouth, who, unimpressed, still tried to talk, it just wasn't audible anymore. She gave them both a quick, embarrassed look. "Sorry, there is no off switch to that mouth."
Dean chuckled and smiled. “It’s alright. Well, my against-the-rules boyfriend and I are gonna go see the rest of the garden. You two have a nice day.”
"Thank you. Um, you too," the woman returned, sounding confused.
Cas squeezed Dean’s hand, happy that even now Dean wasn’t letting go of him, but instead had defended their relationship. His commitment made Cas’s chest feel warm and light.
He gave Dean a shy smile and pulled him over to the apiary as soon as his eyes landed on the sign that advertized the bees. He had already noticed a few of them flying around. “I want to show you something.”
He held out his hand, palm open and up, and waited for a few seconds before a bee flew over and landed on his palm. He carefully pulled it closer for Dean to see. “See the yellow bags on each side? It almost looks like they are flying around with little handbags.”
Dean looked at him, a completely dumbfounded expression on his face. “Did… did you just summon a bee to your hand?”
"Yes?" Cas asked, confused about the question.
“You can summon bees?” Dean sounded awed, and mildly terrified.
Cas squinted his eyes at him before he tilted his head. "Remember when I landed on the hood of your car covered in bees, and you screamed like a girl? How do you think I made them land on me back then?"
“Dude, you were all kinds of crazy, how was I supposed to know you didn’t cover yourself in honey to attract them?” Dean playfully shoved his elbow into Cas’s side. “And I did not scream like a girl.”
Cas gave him a pointed look. "You did scream like a girl, and you know it. Covering myself in honey would have been a waste of perfectly good honey. I would also have attracted bears or other animals I didn't want to attract if I had done that. Like flies." Cas shuddered at the thought.
Dean smirked. “If it’d been cherry pie filling, you would’ve attracted certain hunters, too.”
Cas smirked back at him. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm in bed waiting for you."
Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and braced their foreheads together. He murmured, “I knew it.”
“You knew what?” Cas asked with an amused frown.
“You’re the one,” he said simply.
His heart skipped a beat and he looked up at Dean with a bright, happy smile. "It looks like my aria gets a happy ending after all," he murmured more to himself, remembering how Mick had wished his Gérald wouldn't end up being as stupid as in the opera.
At Dean’s confused expression, he shook his head. "It's not important. I'm just really happy."
And this was it. This was the end he had wanted. It wasn't with the person he had expected he would end up with. But deep in his heart, he knew it was the person he had always longed to be with.
And now he couldn't wait to buy some honey and make new memories.
The End.