Chapter Text
Crown Prince Of The Nancy-Boy Nation
You were quite looking forward to a quiet week, but you should have known better. The entire day was just fine, you were able to just be a teacher, and the kids could just be students.
So really, you should have expected something.
But still.. This is not- never in a million years would you have expected to walk into the library and see everyone glaring at someone sitting at the head of the table.
When the door closes behind you, it makes Willow look over and when she does, it makes a gap enough for you to see who exactly was the cause of the discomfort.
Leaning back in his chair, feet up on the table, that stupid confidence and stupid fucking leather jacket.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" You sigh as you walk over, the sheer strangeness of seeing him overriding your want to not swear in front of the kids.
He looks up in confusion but a slow smirk comes onto his face as he notices you "Well well well, if it ain't Wolfie." he takes his feet off the table and leans forward, "How've you been, Pup?"
"Not asking again, Spike. Why are you here?" You lean forward with a frown, a warning rumbling in your chest like a low growl.
His eyebrows raise and he leans back, hands up in surrender. "Just here to help the slayer and her little friends," he waves dismissively at the others and sits forward again, "Didn't even know you were here, but it's a pleasant surprise."
You stare him down for a moment before looking around to get some kind of confirmation.
"He was telling us about a group trying to resurrect some demon or whatever." Xander shrugs, "Personally I don't trust him."
You look back at Spike who just smirks and quick as a bullet sends you a little wink. "Alright, what do we know?" You ask with a small sigh as you take a seat.
There's silence as you get out your notebook as you usually do to make notes of ideas everyone has.
With no one offering an answer you look up, confused at the silence. The looks everyone is giving you make you frown. "What?"
"You know Spike?" Buffy says with the most bewildered expression you'd seen from her to date.
"Yeah- you do remember that I'm a werewolf, right? My life hasn't always been as steady as it is here." You say slowly, not quite getting the confusion.
"You know Spike." She reiterates as if that clears up absolutely anything for you. It doesn't.
You look at Spike with a confused expression and he shrugs dismissively, "You know how it is, I tried to kill everyone a few times and you're, what? A teacher?" you nod. "You're a teacher who not only knows me, but seemingly isn't bothered by me."
Okay, that clears it up a bit more. "Oh, that makes sense." You groan and look back at the others, "I met Spike a good few years back. I was between towns and just happened to be in some territory he was in charge of. He tried to kill me, we ended up killing something else that tried to kill him, we uh… called a truce."
"A truce?" Spike says lightly, like he's finding something incredibly funny.
You turn to him with a glare, "Shut up."
After some talking about what he knows, Spike just sat back and watched everyone work on figuring out just who this big bad that needs resurrecting is, and of course how to stop it.
Usually he'd be busy annoying the Slayer but you were an unexpected distraction. So he watched as you plotted and looked through countless dusty books. That wasn't interesting. The interesting bit came when the stuffy old watcher looks over your shoulder and your pulse picks up and you smile at him and- oh fuck off. Fuck right off. How in the fuck is a werewolf, and someone Spike will admit to not hating, smiling like that at the fucking part time librarian (full time ponce) Watcher of all people?
"So, how'd you end up here?"
The sudden interest makes you a little suspicious as you answer, "I'm a teacher, I work here. Being a werewolf got me mixed up in this-" You gesture to the surrounding books, "- so here I am. Helping."
Spike nods slowly as he thinks it over. "That makes se-"
"That and you're childhood friends with Giles." Willow smiles and you love her dearly but you could just about strangle her for that.
The vampire looks at you with knowing eyes, eyebrows raising in a mix of surprise and mocking sarcasm that only he can pull off that well, "Childhood friends?"
Your face flushes red as you nod, "Yeah. Giles is my friend." you really do your best to not sound nervous as you freak a little.
Spike nods slowly and you see him looking (thankfully quite subtly) between you and Rupert. Eventually the others go back to work, no longer paying attention to the vamp and he leans close to you, totally unable to keep from gossip and being an absolute pest.
"So the Watcher? He's the guy?"
"Please shut up." You hiss quietly.
"Not a chance, Pup. I mean- him? He's the one you-"
You hurriedly kick him in the shin.
"Oi, you beast." He hisses despite the grin.
You give him a glare that is clearly a warning to shut the fuck up.
He puts his hands up placatingly, leaning back a bit and you think he's maybe taken the hint but then he snorts and puts them down again, "Come on. Are you serious?" he talks normally and gets the group's attention again- not that you notice that, too busy wishing that the floor, and consequently the hellmouth, would open up just to swallow you whole.
"Spike, I will stake you where you sit-"
"I suppose he does throw a good punch," he smirks, "but…" his nose wrinkles in a small amount of disgust but mostly confusion, "he's just such a ponce."
You go to defend that but just snort a laugh and shrug, finding the back and forth a little amusing, the familiarity almost comforting, despite the mortifying embarrassment that burns in your chest, "Didn't you call me 'Crown Prince of the Nancy-Boy Nation' once?"
He blinks once, and nods, surrendering the point with a small smile. "Fair point well made."
"Does anyone else feel like they just watched a conversation in code?"
"Unfortunately, some of us understood just fine." Rupert mutters.
(Later, probably at home?)
"So, you two, has the love been rekindled?"
"I know you love chick flicks, Spike, but this really isn't- I mean-"
"So not yet? Or just not?"
"Spike."
"... Okay, somethings wrong then. Lay it on me, Reader."
"There's not-" You sigh, "There's nothing wrong.. "
"Don't bullshit me, wolf. Something is definitely up."
"I just… really like it here, I like him, the kids, my home."
"Reader, ain't that a good thing? You were so lost back then, innit a good upgrade to have a home with people you like? Someone you love?"
"It is. I'm just… Scared, I guess. If it goes bad, I'll be lost again. I'll be worse."
"You can't just never do things because you're scared. I- listen, Pup, ain't the fact you're so scared proof that you want it enough that you should try?"
"I hate it when you're right." You groan, giving a huff and a small smile that gets the sentiment across even if you refuse to thank him, "It doesn't suit you."
He accepts the gratitude gracefully, by snorting and ruffling your hair in a way that is mostly just hitting you upside the back of the head, "I hate it when you're being a fucking idiot but here we are."
Don't laugh, I'm in pain
Spike decides to be a little shit and flirts wildly with Reader purely to work up Giles and… It works? Just a little, just enough to make him a teeny bit huffy.
"Rupert?"
He groans and sits down, his head thumping against the table in time with the library door closing and muffling Spike's retreating laughter. "I can't believe that worked on me."
"I'm flattered it did."
"Don't laugh at me, I'm in pain."
"The only thing hurt here is your pride, Ripper."
"Mortally wounded."
.
.
.
"Reader?"
"Hm?" You glance down at him, not quite turning your head fully away from the book in your hands.
He smiles, small and bittersweet. He wants to say something, admit to the very obvious way you're both settling into a closeness beyond friendship, but he just… He can't. Not yet. He shakes his head and looks back down to his work. "Nothing, nevermind."
"... Right." Afterall, saying nothing but with those eyes, is just about the same as saying everything, and you understand.
Blush Blush Blush (payoff for that Bit where Willow vows to find out Reader's "Type".)
"Good afternoon, people." You greet as you walk into the library, seeing the kids, apart from Buffy, all sitting around the main table.
"Ah! Good afternoon, Mr Reader."
"Mr Giles." You say in simple greeting as you turn to look at him-
Oh he is absolutely doing that on purpose.
In front of you stands one Rupert Giles with his blazer, waistcoat and tie removed, his sleeves pushed up past his elbows, his top button undone, and a thin shine of sweat on his brow.
Not to mention the fucking sword he has casually resting on his shoulder, his other hand nonchalantly in his trouser pocket as he smiles.
You look away before anyone can notice- or you can catch flies with your dropped jaw.
You can feel your skin run hot and, most mortifyingly, you can see the blush reach to your knuckles when you pretend to be occupied by turning the page, so you can only imagine how red your face is.
An ever increasingly familiar feeling prods in the back of your mind, and you debate ignoring it and not looking up to see Oz and his undoubtedly amused expression.
The feeling persists so you look up.
Yes, he had the most shit eating smirk. And next to him, Willow is grinning like she won the lottery.
"Kids, dogs, and other animals.." you mutter to yourself with a small sigh.
"So.." Willow starts with a teasing tone, "Giles is your type?"
Your head snaps up from your book to see her leaning on her elbows towards you, a stupid big grin on her face.
"No." You think you said it with an impressive amount of confidence, considering how big of a lie it is, "wrong again."
Needless to say she doesn't buy it one bit.
"It's cute." She shrugs, "you used to be friends right? Did you always like him, or is it a new thing- like uncovering long forgotten feelings and you're now mature enough to understand them." She's so amused by it all that you can't really be mad. Plus, she doesn't sound like she's about to call you gross for liking men, so you don't need to be scared. Probably.
"No," you chuckle slightly, snapping the book shut and leaning back in your chair to glance at Giles who was leaning down to talk to Buffy, "it's definitely not a new thing."
"Aww." Willow coos, "So you've always liked him?"
You can't help but sigh a little wistfully, "Yeah. He's always been this sarcastic bad boy with a streak for powerful magics… I was 16, when we first met, trying to rebel against my parents while still being a good student, I never stood a chance. Then he ended up being a great friend and reliable through the years, so I was really far gone."
Willow looked like she could cry, it was so sappy, but then her smile took a twist, "did he ever like you back?"
You freeze and look down at your hands nervously, your brain taking a moment to catch up, "I- uh, I-- Well, you'd have to ask him, I suppose." you shrugged hoping your nerves came off as purely shock.
Willow laughed and gave your shoulder a heavy pat, "It's alright. I'm fairly sure Buffy is the only one who hasn't had a small bit of a crush on Giles."
That snaps you back to functioning, and frowning, "Gross, child. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
"I'm serious, even the rest of the school, who just pop in for a new book occasionally, knows that he's kinda..."
You pull a face and shake your head, "I am literally begging you to stop."
"Xander would never admit it, but he does think he's really cool, and-"
"Willow."
"Alright, sorry." She shrugs and you know she isn't quite done yet. "So I should just go up to Giles and ask if he returns your undying feelings?"
"Willow, I may not be the most competent magic user in the group, but I'm sure I could find an embarrassing curse for you… then give you detention."
I HAD SO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS BUT NOOOOO
His eyes follow you as if having you out of his sight would be the end of him.
His voice is tight and slightly rough as if the words scrape like sandpaper. "You can stay, if you'd like."
"If it's no bother?"
"Never a bother."
Aren't You Scared? (The "it's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you" chapter that I see in my minds eye but can't for the life of me fully type out apparently???)
You go to Rupert's home and find the roles reversed as you sleep on his couch. It's nearing the full moon so when you wake up from a nightmare- more a memory really- your emotions are frazzled and the comfort Rupert offers makes you feel like you are backed into a corner. And like all animals do, you lash out.
But Rupert isn't scared- well he is, but not of you.
"Why aren't you yelling at me? Please- god- hate me, scream, I don't- anything but this-" You plead, voice cracking under the weight of all the guilt he said you didn't deserve and all the guilt you have for making him think you were ever anything good and worth his attention.
He gently tucks your hair behind your ear and then his hand continues forward until he has a gentle hold on the back of your head as he surveys your face, taking in each and every detail that he remembers from days long gone and things that he only recently noticed but cling to his dreams all the same- each hill and valley of scar tissue, each wrinkle and blemish... His heart beats fast and his voice evades him, the words coming out breathy and stunned. "You're just as beautiful as you ever were." He steps forward and pushes your head gently forward, so that you fit tightly into his embrace. "You're still my Reader."
There's a moment when your brain doesn't quite compute. But your face pressed gently into his chest, his arms around you securely. You slowly raise your arms to return the embrace, your fists balling tightly into the back of the tshirt he wore to bed.
You cry. And he holds you.
KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!!!!!! (for your own safety do not talk to me about his hands I will go insane. I do bite <3)
His breath ghosts across your lips and your heart lurches painfully, he's so close.. And so very very beautiful.
You sigh and look down, your hands that are resting on his chest ball into fists, griping just slightly on his lapels.
"Reader?" Rupert asks quietly, hesitation and worry so strong in his voice that it makes everything so much worse.
"Aren't you scared?" (I'm scared, is what you don't say) Your voice cracks slightly and you screw your eyes shut, hoping to block out the world and push away your thoughts.
One hand moves from your hip and he gently cradles the bottom of your jaw, two fingers tilting your head just slightly. It takes you a moment to open your eyes and when you do, your breath freezes in your chest. His eyes are lit by the soft lighting reflecting off of hardly welling tears and quiet hope.
"Rather terrified, actually." He notes with some amusement in a slight vocal tremble.
His fingers trace lightly along your jaw, and he's fixated on the action as his thumb passes by the corner of your mouth. For a moment, the only sounds are the two of you breathing unsteadily, like there's something that might escape- or break- if either of you breathe too much, or make a move other than the micro movements of Rupert's thumb not quite on your lips. Surely it's a few seconds at most but that moment is gentle, and cautious, and scared… and.. hopeful. "People aren't kind to people like you- like us- and I'm afraid that for us there might always be something to be scared of but I'm not scared of you. Never of you."
Then he looks back into your eyes and the atmosphere changes. His hand smoothly moves to your cheek, his thumb just grazing your bottom lip in a featherlight touch before moving to smooth across your cheekbone (You can't be sure if it's intentional, but your heart skips all the same) unaffected by the hills and valleys of your scars below his touch. His fingers reach just into your hairline at the back of your neck, and ghost teasingly along the skin there. As his lips lift into a smile, just showing the smallest flash of his teeth as he breathes softly through slightly parted lips, his eyes are less teary and the corners crinkle just so, in that way you absolutely adore. A mix of amusement and adoration evident as he takes in your flushed skin and small stunned look.
"And.. being scared hasn't ever stopped us, has it?"
I Missed This
Rupert's hold tightens slightly as he shimmies as close as he can, holding you to his chest. "I missed this," he mumbles into the back of your neck, but you can hear his grin through the sleepiness.
"Me too," You smile just as dumbly, so happy to be held in his arms like this.
Remember When This Fic Was About Flashbacks? Me Neither
"Good thing you never persuaded me to drop out of school with you huh? Otherwise I'd never have gotten this job.. Might have never met you again."
"So who are we to thank? Your stubbornness or my lacklustre persuasion tactics?"
"Oh, my stubbornness for sure. We stole enough cars together- among other things, for you to know that you are very good at talking me into dumb ideas."
He huffed but raised his mug of tea in a salute anyway, "to your inability to let loose."
You laughed but clinked your mugs with hardly an eyeroll, "look who's talking."
~~~
"Come ooon! Just for a bit?"
"No," you laugh and swat at his arms around your neck with your pen, "I have to finish my assignment!"
"I do love you, but fucking hell, you can be a right boring prick." it's all teasing but you were aware of his actual disappointment just fine. "I'll even tell Ethan the magic is cancelled and we'll just go throw rocks or some shit."
"No, he's been looking forward to summoning something to fuck with fire for ages- just do it without me."
Looking between you and your papers he sighed, "Oh, alright then."
"Tell the others I'll be free next week, we can tackle the frost summoning then."
With a new pep in his step, Ripper nodded and kissed your cheek before he headed out.
"Be safe." you call out, getting a loud laugh back.
"Never!"
~~~
Shampoo
"So…" Oz started with a bored tone that contradicted the small smirk hiding in the corner of his mouth, "you two, huh?"
You and Giles stop all movement apart from turning your heads to look at the boy.
"Us two?" you asked, eyes narrowing at him.
"Yeah, you two." He replied back, eyebrow raised, "you've been using the same shampoo for a couple days now."
Giles looked at you for a moment and frowned before it clicked and he muttered something about "Damn wolves and their sharp senses.." while avoiding all possible eye contact.
You take a deep breath in and holy shit how did you not realise how noticeable it was? Sure Giles smelled like normal Giles, but you smelled well- you also smelled like Giles. Had done for days...
"Oh." You didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry, what!?" Buffy looked between your rapidly reddening face and the blush (blush!) dusting her Watcher's cheeks.
Xander mutters a "Holy shit." Cordilia gives a quiet "Ew…" and Willow just seems very happy, whispering a small "Called it."
Rupert glances over at you and gives a small smile, meeting your eyes embarrassedly for only a moment before he looks back down at the really quite interesting floor (and oh my is that a slight scuff mark on his shoe? How interesting and no, he is not avoiding the eyes of the children, why would you ever say that-), "Trust our lot to figure this out by how we smell."
You laugh and shake your head, hands nervously clasping in front of you, as you pick at your thumb nail, "I really should have foreseen this. I mean, I really should have."
"Sorry-" Buffy holds her hand up to stop everything in its tracks, "Can I just repeat- What!?" She looks desperately over to Willow and Oz but they just give her amused smiles. "How long has this been happening?"
"The shampoo?" Oz grins, thoroughly enjoying your embarrassment, "A few days."
"Reader and Giles giving each other gross heart eyes every day however?" Willow chips in, "Pretty sure that was from day one."
Buffy splutters and gives everyone a shocked look.
You and Giles were trying very hard to just not look at anyone or anything other than the floor, Willow and Oz looked very proud of themselves, Cordy looked vaguely grossed out, and Xander had his jaw on the floor, just gaping.
You feel a familiar pull of fear in the back of your throat but take a deep breath and look around at everyone and sigh, "I know this must be weird, but just… If you could… Not say anything to anyone else, I'd really rather not get fired for being gay. Again."
Rupert sighs and gently puts a hand on your shoulder (a welcome grounding feeling, the warmth of his palm and the grip of his fingers keeping you present) and nods, "We- we understand that this may be a big deal to you and uh- well, maybe you're not entirely comfortable, but it'd mean a lot if you kept it to yourself."
"Shut up," Buffy sighs with a small smile, "We don't care that you're gay. It's just a shock-" She looks at Willow and Oz, "Well, a shock for me," she glances at Xander, "And Xander."
Hearing his name, Xander startles a little. "Yeah, sure. It's fine that you're-" Xander looks very uncomfortable as he tries to stutter out anything without having to say the word gay, just sort of making a hand gesture towards you and Giles.
"It's fine, Xander." You cut him off and awkwardly smile, not really knowing what to do but focusing on the positive reactions of the others and the presence of the man you love by your side. "You don't have to explain yourself, just don't get us fired, please."
"Oh uh- yeah- sure."
"It's just gross-"
"CORDY!" Willow and Buffy snap, ready to defend-
"Let me finish!" She snaps back and sighs, with possibly her biggest eye roll to date, "Jesus, calm down- it's gross because you're teachers and like… Old."
A loud and startled laugh forces its way out like a bark and you grin, relaxing slightly more into Rupert's side, "Thank you, I guess."
No More Running Away. (GIRL THIS WAS MEANT TO BE THE BIG CHAPTER I HATE MY STUPID ASS BRAIN)
Moving into a new house, and that fuckin bag gets unpacked! THE EMOTIONAL PAYOFF OF DECIDING TO PERMANENTLY SHARE A SPACE AND THE PERSISTING SYMBOL OF HOW YOU COULD SO EASILY LEAVE IS PUT AWAY!!! GOD. IM. (Screaming crying gnawing at the bars on my enclosure) I WISH I COULD WRITE PLEASE.
You stare down at the bag and feel a strange tightness in your chest. It's been so very long since it'd been actually unpacked. If you take everything out of this bag, you'll no longer be ready to run away as soon as you feel too cornered.
"no more running away." You smile happily and lean into Rupert's arms, your head on his shoulder as the two of you look around at the home you'd made together.
Ideas I haven't actually done anything with. I just get giddy little gay feelings when thinking about the concepts?
Rupert makes u breakfast in the morning- except you forgot to buy new plates. Eggs in a bowl!!! Idk I'm just really like the idea of something so domestic and funny. Also probably jokes about how it reminds him of his college days and running out of clean plates.
Singing in the morning? Because my god,,,, very gay for that. Literally insane about his singing but I haven't got a good idea for it. I just know that if I heard Giles singing while he just mills about the kitchen or reads or something that I would be so uselessly gay about it. Oh god like he's doing some reading or research and he's humming to himself absently and the little fluctuations of volume and breaks as he sighs or holds his pen between his teeth for a moment. UGH. (Trying so hard to project my images into your mind please See my Vision. My useless gay vision.)
"He's such a dork."
"Yeah, he is."
"... I'm not sure that earned quite as many heart eyes as you just gave."
I NEED AN ETHAN CONFRONTATION PLZ (he's kinda,,,, bites him bites him bites him)
"Now there's a face I didn't expect to see again."
"It's mutual, trust me."
"You're… Oh. So that's what happened to you. We thought you'd died. Well, I thought you'd died. Ripper thought you'd left him.. I had to be his shoulder to cry on back then. His… new best mate."
"I haven't killed a guy by tearing their throat out with my teeth in a few years but.. I imagine it's a bit like riding a bike. I'll get the hang of it quick enough."
"Down boy."
"Reader. He's really not worth it."
"He hurt the kids."
"I know. Trust me, I understand the sentiment. But I won't kiss you while you've got his flesh between your teeth, dear."
"Fine. Guess I'll have to use my hands."
"Put that thing on a leash would you, Rupert."
More useless gay shit for the useless gay shit fic
His lips curl around a word that doesn't quite appear and then press into a line as his eyebrows furrow slightly, a slight lilt of his head showing the gears turning in his brain. Speechless. Gods, it's a good look on him.
"Oh don't look so smug."
"I'll be as smug as I like, thank you very much."
The little extra end bit I've had written literally since chapter one. Oops.
With the bathroom door shut safely behind you, a deep sigh tumbles out your lips as you move to clutch at the edge of the sink.
"C'mon," you mutter to yourself, splashing some cold water over your rapidly reddening face, "you can do this."
You give yourself a little stare off in the mirror for a moment before turning to the door. Now to just hype yourself into rejoining your own birthday party.
Closing your eyes, your hand clutches around the box in your trouser pocket, as you just listen to everyone chatting away in the living room. The anxiety flutters in your fingertips and nerve endings as you take some calming breaths.
Before you can back down you go back out and sit on the sofa in between Rupert and Willow.
"I uh," you start and clear your throat of the small nervous lump before continuing, "I know that we've already done my gifts but I uh, I have something for Rupert so-"
Rupert looks at you with a raised eyebrow and chuckles, "It's your birthday party, you really don't need to-"
You wave away his protest with a nervous laugh, "Oh trust me, I do have to."
Everyone is eyeing you curiously and somewhat nervously and you fish the small red velvet box from your pocket. Realisation sinks into everyone as you smooth your thumb nervously over the fabric, "You got to give me a ring last time so it's only fair that I get a turn." you laugh lightly and open the box shaking slightly.
"I know getting married isn't an option for us," you say with a grin as his hands come to rest over yours to steady them, "but I want you to know that I love you and, if you'll have me, I'd like to spend all my days loving you."
Rupert knew what was happening the moment he saw the box but hearing you say it.. It meant so much to him and he couldn't help the small tremble in his voice as you take out a simply patterned golden ring from the box, "As if I'd say no."
You laugh as the ring slides comfortably onto his finger, the nerves melting away completely and giving way to an uncontrolled grin.
Rupert takes the box from you and takes out the matching ring for you, "I love you." the words tumble out in a breath as he puts the ring on your finger.
There's a small sort of stunned look on Rupert's face for a moment as he looks at both of your hands, interlocked again with matching rings. He never thought he'd get back to this kind of place.
As much as you could happily sit in this gentle moment forever.. you can see Willow practically vibrating with excitement and chuckle as you bring Rupert's hand up to your lips and kiss his knuckles, which startles him out of his thoughts with a laugh. It's sweet, like music to your ears and makes you laugh as well.
Turning to Willow you smile fondly at her huge excited smile, "Go on then."
"Oh my god!" She immediately bursts when given permission to gush, "Congratulations you two!"
As the group slowly goes back to party mode, you don't let go of Rupert's hand.
And he has no intention of letting you go either.