Chapter Text
When Terry got back to his own dimension and back to the batcave he was greeted with the barks of an excited Ace. That soon attracted the attention of old Wayne, who was a bit shocked to see Terry for a moment before he approached and looked him over, obviously trying to see if he was hurt in some way.
After Terry quickly reassured that he was fine and got them both back to the computer room, Wayne started asking questions. The conversation about where the hell Terry had been for a week had taken a long time to get through, and a lot of questions from Wayne since he apparently couldn't believe there was another dimension where him being a dad was even a possibility.
Alternate universes he could believe, it was hard for him to deny that when he had seen them with his own eyes back in the day. He could even believe that Terry had gone to one and came back, he could even believe time was different in that other reality and he was still in his mid thirties there. The parent of five thing was apparently where he drew the line.
“I can’t possibly have gotten that many children” he immediately replied when he told him.
“Well you did, or other you did in any case. I knew you would probably doubt me, so I brought you proof” Terry replied, pulling out the phone they had given him while he was at the other reality and showing him a photo he had taken on the last day he had spent there in which he was with everyone at the house “See? There’s me, and younger you, and his other five bat kids, and even Alfred”
Wayne slowly reached out for the phone, which Terry let him take so he could take a good look at the picture and take it all in. He had expected the photo would get some kind of reaction out of the old man, he couldn't deny what his own eyes could see after all, and also that it would take him a bit to take that all in. A window into another reality that was that different was a rare occurrence after all.
After what seemed like an eternity Wayne finally spoke again, looking up at Terry “It’s… it’s really true isn’t it? This… is really a possibility…”
“Yeah… it took me a while to take it all in too” he confessed “I mean, I'm so used to this manor being so empty and to just dealing with you, getting that many bat people at once was a shock…”
“I can see Dick and Tim… but who are the others?” he asked as he looked at the picture again.
Terry went through all of them as he pointed them out in the picture, giving Wayne a small explanation of how each of them came to be into the family, as well as the weird differences between dimensions like how Tim was rich in there. When he finished with Damian he paused, wondering for a moment if he should even mention his discovery, before deciding it truly was one of the first things he had to get out of the way now that he was back.
“When I was… in the other universe, one of the first things I discovered when they were trying to find a way to get me back is… that I'm your son” he said, a bit hesitant.
Wayne took a moment to look at Terry before taking a deep breath and nodding “Yes… you are. I don't know how, exactly, but you are”
“And you knew”
“I knew since the first time I had to heal you and had to analyze your blood for it” he confirmed, looking at Terry warily. He was probably expecting him to be mad and to confront him about hiding that information from him, but Terry wasn't going to do that. He had had enough time to think it over, coming to terms with the fact that he was biologically his son and that Wayne probably knew. Besides, he knew the reason Wayne had hidden it from him.
“...the other you said you probably knew” Terry said as he sighed “And that you probably didn't tell me… out of some kind of respect for my dad, for Warren… was that it…?”
“...yes” the older man said, relaxing his posture a bit after Terry’s calm reaction “The man raised you… and as far as I could tell should have been your father. I'm only your biological father due to some kind of tampering, probably by Cadmus. He was your father… I didn’t think I should ruin that for you...”
“Alright… alright” Terry took a deep breath. So Bruce had been right about the old man's motives for not telling him. Respect for Warren McGinnis, a man he hadn't even known. Imagine that. “For the record, I still think you should have told me. But I… I understand that you were trying to protect me in your weird way, protect my feelings towards my dad and his memory… that kind of thing is pretty important for you...”
Bruce Wayne was a man that had been defined by the devotion to his parents memory after all… he wouldn't want someone else to have the memory of his dead father sullied just because of him. Especially since he had nothing to do with his creation, he had been made Terry’s father without even knowing about it, yet he probably still blamed himself somehow for hurting Warren’s memory if Terry ever found out.
“So... I understand. But now I know”
“Now you know…” Wayne repeated, frowning “I… I’m not sure how to proceed from here. I was sure if you ever found out you'd be angry at me for hiding it, and try to quit or something of the like…”
“Nah, I won't quit. I love this job too much” he smiled, leaning back in his chair a bit “I like being Batman. I really do, it's what I want to do… maybe it's even what I was made to do if I was really made by Cadmus or whatever as some kind of backup Batman. But I didn’t become Batman because of that, I did because that is what I like doing, and is what I choose to do... ”
“...then… do you still want to work with me…?” Wayne asked, apparently a bit confused by Terry’s compliance.
“Of course I do. But from now on no more weird secrets like that” he pointed out, and got a little embarrassed about what he was about to say “And… we don't have to keep that much distance anymore, if you don't want to. I mean… well, maybe you think you do, but I don't really believe you do, at least not deep down… not after seeing the other you…”
He had suspected Wayne kept himself at a distance from others before, too afraid to even try to get closer to people after everyone in his life had left him. But he didn’t seem to like being a solitary figure even after all this time, otherwise he wouldn't even have reached out for Terry to work with him after the whole stealing the suit incident. And now Terry knew for certain that at some level Bruce Wayne liked having people close to him, after seeing a world where he hadn't managed to drive everyone away.
“... I’m… not sure what you want from me… or if I can give it…” Wayne said, clearly conflicted.
“I'm not sure either… ” Terry replied, getting closer and placing a hand on his shoulder. He honestly wanted to do more, after the hug he had gotten from Bruce he kinda wanted to hug the old man as well, but he thought that would be a bit too much for them right now so he settled “I'm just saying you don't have to keep me at a distance anymore…”
Wayne looked at the hand on his shoulder with almost disbelief, as if that simple gesture was a foreing concept. It probably had been years since anyone had actually tried to reach him in that way, so Terry wasn't surprised it took him a couple of moments to react and finally place his hand over his, squeezing it slightly.
“... Terry… I’m glad I met you…” the old man said, in a very soft tone.
“I’m glad too” Terry replied, letting him hold his hand hostage as he continued talking “I mean, I ended up at your doorstep by mere coincidence, we could have spent our whole lives without knowing each other existed… wonder how the hell that happened when I'm your son”
“... I don't know. If you want to know more about that we should have a talk with Amanda Waller. She was probably the one in charge of whatever secret project created you...” Wayne explained, as he distractedly moved his fingers over Terry’s knuckles. Terry watched him do it with a bit of curiosity, but didn't dare call him out on it, since it seemed the man was more touch starved that he had ever let on. Small steps, maybe he could work up to a hug next time.
“We should do that, and probably check if Matt is also your son while we are at it. But, um… I was thinking… and you’re going to think this is dumb or something, but um… you think we could maybe… build some kind of dimension traveling machine or something so I could get back to that other dimension I went to…?” he asked, a bit hesitant.
Wayne looked at him with some confusion as he asked a simple question “Why?”
“I… want to go back there. It’s… nice” he said. Waynes still baffled expression told him that was clearly an insufficient answer “It's hard to explain, it's just… I don't know, I really…. I enjoyed my time there...”
“...is the other me that nice?” he arched an eyebrow, making Terry sigh a bit.
“Well, he is nicer than you, but that's not the only reason I liked it there. Everyone was nice in their own way, it was just… I felt like I belonged in a way… and I want to go back, if I can. Look, I’m not abandoning this dimension or anything, I still belong here and I’m not leaving” he clarified “I know I just spent a week with them, but my god, I’ve never clicked that fast with people before in my life. I just think it would be good to see them every now and then…. You are rich, we have the technology, we could do it...”
“Hnn…” he grunted, but did not outright say no, so apparently he was actually thinking it over.
“You could come over sometime too, even. Meet everyone…” he suggested, remembering Bruce’s words about him probably not being that resistant deep down. “Then you could see for yourself that everyone is fine there…”
“...we will see”
In the end, Wayne had agreed to make the machine to travel to other universes. It had taken some time to build, but surprisingly it wasn’t that hard to actually make it, a very primitive version of it had been made by Waynes old justice league days when they had to confront the justice lords after all, so they just had to refine it.
While they were working on that they had also checked on Matt and it turned out he also was biologically a Wayne, as apparently whatever experiment Cadmus put in motion made it so Warren’s kids had Wayne’s DNA and not Warren’s. They both decided not to tell him for now, it was weird enough for Terry to know. They would eventually, maybe by the time Terry actually revealed to his family that he is actually Batman and they believed him.
When the machine had been completed Terry decided to test it by going to the other universe for a day and coming back, Wayne had been a bit reluctant but there truly was no other way to test it so he had to let him do it. It had all worked as it should and he had spent the day catching up with everyone who was at the manor at that time. He told them he would come back next week so everyone could be there next time, since he was going to try to convince the old Wayne to come for that visit.
It had taken practically that entire week of insisting on it, but he had finally agreed. They had everything ready to go, but when they were about to go through, Wayne hesitated.
“Terry, I don't think this is a good idea…” he said.
“Come on Wayne, we’ve been over this” Terry replied “It will just be a day, can’t you have fun for a bit?”
“I… I will probably just ruin it if I go with you” the old man insisted.
Terry smiled softly “You are scared aren't you?” Wayne didn't answer, but he knew he had found the problem “They won't instantly hate you or anything, you know?”
“You don't know that” Wayne replied “Besides… they already have a Bruce Wayne, I would be… redundant”
“True, but I don't think they will mind. And it will be good for you to hang out with other people for once. We can even bring Ace, I bet Damian will love him”
“Hnn…” he grunted, petting Ace’s head absentmindedly.
“Come on, at least try it once. I won't force you to go again if you truly hate it, even though I doubt that will happen” Terry insisted.
Wayne was almost about to resist again, but finally sighed, grabbing his cane as he walked towards the machine “I will go this time… but I won’t guarantee I’ll make anymore visits”
“Right, right… we will see about that” he laughed a bit, as they both got through the portal to the other dimension. It took them to roughly the same place they were just in, which meant they were down at the cave. Terry gave Wayne a moment to take in how different but similar the place was, before insisting they got up to the manor since that's where everyone would be. “Hey! I’m back!” he called out from the entrance, as he waited for Wayne to get up the stairs.
It didn’t take long for Bruce, along with Damian and Dick to come greet him, since they probably were just waiting for him to get there. “Terry, I see you made it” Bruce greeted him.
“Yep, and I actually managed to convince him to come. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: old Bruce Wayne” Terry theatrically said, as he stepped out of the way to let everyone see him, as Ace took the opportunity to just get into the room as well.
The reactions from everyone were quite amazing.
“I… can't believe I could get this old...” Bruce said, looking at his older self with some shock.
“I can't believe I ever was this young...” Wayne replied.
Seeing both of them next to each other was actually really strange, like seeing two photos of the same person years apart next to each other but in real life. They also sounded almost the same, which probably didn’t help with the weirdness of it.
“This is cool in a very very weird way” Dick said, making Wayne look at him and blink in surprise before recognition set in.
“Dick. It's… good to see you” he managed to say, clearly a bit shaken by his presence “Although it’s… strange, to see you this young”
“I guess it must be weird for you….” Dick agreed “Did Terry give you an overview of everyone?”
“More or less…”
“Father, this dog is wonderful” Damian said as Ace approached him and nudged his hand, making Bruce look over at him with a sigh.
“Damian, you can't keep my older selfs dog” he quickly pointed out.
“I… I know, obviously” he quickly replied, but began petting the dog regardless.
“You are Damian then…” Wayne said, approaching him and smiling slightly when Ace tried to get them both to pet him.
“Yes, um… how should I refer to you? Older father?” he asked, tilting his head.
“...I… guess just father is fine if that's what you call my other self…” Wayne said, clearly taken by surprise by the title. “It might… take me a while to respond to that tough”
“...I like your dog” Damian insisted “Would you like to meet mine? Titus!” he called out, getting the other dog to approach immediately, since it must have been hovering near his master. Both dogs looked at each other warily for a second before relaxing, as they then focused on the new people for them that were there.
“You have a good dog too” Wayne complimented, petting Titus in the head with a slight smile when the dog approached him.
“Yes, I do” he proudly stated.
“Great, they are bonding over pets, we are going to end up with an actual menagerie if they keep up” Dick said to Terry, making him laugh a bit.
“What did you expect? They practically have the same kind of dog” he shrugged.
Suddenly Wayne got a bit tense, turning around and coming face to face with Cassandra, who had somehow sneaked up on him. He looked at her a bit confused “You are… Cassandra, right?”
She nodded, watching him closely for another second before apparently making a decision and hugging him, which caught him completely off guard. He stiffened, almost letting his cane drop even, and only after a couple of seconds did he begin to relax slightly as he at least put an arm around her.
“See, this is why she's the favorite” Dick whispered to Terry “Only she could get away with that with a Bruce she's just met”
“Totally the favorite” he agreed “I’m barely managing the courage to get to shoulder pats”
“You can relax here” Cassandra said to the old man as she loosened the hug, but didn't really move away “We are family. It's alright”
“...it's going to take a while” Wayne said.
“We have time” she insisted, moving away this time “Just enjoy it”
“...I’ll try” he replied, making her smile and him look slightly dazzled by it, somehow. Terry didn’t think he had ever seen him like that before. He had never envied someone else's insight into Bruce Waynes strange mind before more than at that moment.
As he was about to ask where everyone else was, Jason entered the room, carrying a popcorn bowl. “I’m hearing a lot of noises did Terry come already? Oh my god” he said, as he stared at Wayne in amazement “Holy shit Terry you actually convinced him to come, he’s actually here, he's SO OLD”
“I know. Um… Jason was it?” Wayne said.
“Yes, the original I stole from you and you took me in like an idiot kid of this universe. Seems you're weird like that in all universes” Jason smiled, staring openly at the old man “Holy shit, I never tought I’d see Bruce being this old, it’s fucking weird... ”
“Hnn” the old man frowned “I see why Terry has begun swearing so much since he came back from here, I had been wondering about that…”
Terry let out an indignant yell at that. I mean, he guessed he had been using old swear words instead of the ones from his own a bit more often now that he thought about it... but he hadn't really done that that much had he? Was he that easily influenciable??
“What? Are you saying it's my fault?” Jason gasped theatrically “You are saying I’m a bad influence on the kid?! How dare I!!”
“I’ve been trying to correct his language for years, but it hasn't really worked” Bruce explained when Wayne just glared at him “I’ve given up by this point”
“Honestly I prefer the old swear words to those he used to say anyway, but… it’s the principle of the thing…” Wayne replied.
“Oh whatever old man, I’ll swear in whatever era swears I want” Terry complained “Anyway, why the hell do you have popcorn?” he asked Jason.
“Oh yeah, I was coming up to say the popcorn is ready and Tim is getting the movie ready in one of the media rooms but got distracted…”
“So we are watching a movie today?” Terry asked.
“Yeah we thought if you managed to convince him to come that would be an easy activity to do” Jason explained, shrugging.
“What is the movie we are watching?”
“Something in your honour” he replied, snickering and making Terry raise an eyebrow with suspicion.
While they went into the media room they had decided to use Terry got saddled with carrying a bunch of popcorn on the way. Between all the popcorn and all the drinks it was a bit ridiculous how much they were all carrying, but they really were a lot of people there that day.
“Oh he did come, cool” Tim said looking over at them when they finally got to the room, while he was still finishing up getting the tv ready.
“Tim…” Wayne said, looking at him with a sorta nostalgic look as well. Tim just tilted his head a bit, with a very slight smile.
“Hi Bruce…” he said, seemingly a bit shocked by Wayne's reaction to him, Terry guessed he couldn't really blame him much. “I'm surprised you actually came, I guess we are watching this movie then” he said as he moved the cursor over from where it was to another movie and making Terry groan when he saw what it was.
“...The mask of Zorro? Seriously?” he complained “I thought I could escape the Zorro movies here”
“It's about the original Zorro teaching a younger kid to be Zorro! It's perfect” Dick declared, laughing “We would have gotten a Batman musical but there isn't any in this dimension”
“...why did you have to tell them about that… thing?” Wayne groaned as he glared at Terry.
“Wow you really did hate that musical” Dick laughed “But come on, it will be fun”
“Next time we could see the Grey Ghost if you’re feeling nostalgic” Jason commented to Wayne, but that name made Terry frown. Grey Ghost… where had seen that…
“Wait, wasn’t that the costume that's down at our cave?” he suddenly remembered “He’s a fictional character? What's the costume doing in the cave then?” Terry asked Wayne, getting a smile out of him and a bit of a reaction from Bruce who looked at him with a frown.
“Wait you have the Grey Ghosts costume? How? They were so hard to find...” he asked, legitimately curious.
“We were on a case together once, I think I’m allowed to keep it there” Wayne answered, actually getting Bruce to gasp.
“You meet him?”
“I got his autograph too, on the first edition of the show that was ever released” Wayne said with certain pride.
“What the hell is happening??” Terry asked, looking at the others in confusion.
“We are getting a Grey Ghost dork fest over here” Jason explained “Didn’t he make you watch some episodes with him at some point? He’s done it with all of us...”
“I’ve barely seen him watching that old Zorro movie, this is news for me… I didn’t know he could be this geeky over something” he replied, laughing a bit.
“Enough with this! We shall see the Grey Ghost some other day if you’re that excited over who has more merchandise of it” Damian complained to both of the Bruce’s “We are here to watch the Zorro movies today”
“Someone’s impatient” Terry commented.
“And likes movies with sword fights” Dick pointed out, as they started the movie.
It was actually a pretty fun movie. Terry hadn’t seen this one before, he had seen the old one out of curiosity when he saw Wayne see it, but he hadn't really gone out of his way to watch all Zorro movies or anything. He hadn’t known there was actually was a Zorro movie about the original training a new one, who would have thought. Everyone was pretty chatty during the whole thing, but it was a pretty light hearted movie so it wasn’t really annoying or anything, actually they were all pretty funny.
Wayne seemed to take the whole experience pretty well, which was good because Terry had been a bit worried he would be overwhelmed by all of them at once. Just like his younger counterpart, they both were a bit more silent than everyone else, but seemed to enjoy just being around these people as they simply relaxed and watched a movie together. Nice to know this was a common reaction from them.
As the movie finished up and they all began chatting more openly while they cleaned up all their plates and stuff. Mostly they were curious about old Wyane, as they were bound to be, and he actually answered a lot of their questions even if sometimes a bit short worded. But soon someone asked a question Terry had been wondering for a long time.
“What was is that made you quit being Batman anyway?” Tim asked “Because I can’t imagine what would actually do it. I mean, I’ve seen the Bruce from this dimension go on after getting his spine broken, I don't know what the hell would make you actually stop, unless you died, but you are clearly not dead so...”
“...I don't want to talk about it” Wayne answered, but they didn’t let him off this time.
“You know, you never did tell me what was it that did it” Terry pointed out “I thought it might have been the Joker dying thing and maybe you did it but nope, it was Tim, and you still kept going after that. So what was it?”
“I haven’t told you in all the time, and I still don't want to tell you Terry” he grumbled.
“I would like to know” Bruce insisted “I also find it hard to believe something would be able to make me stop… ”
“It partly must be your age, clearly” Dmaian remarked “But it is more than that, or you wouldn't be this stubborn about telling us. If you do, maybe we can prevent it from happening here at least, think of that if nothing else…”
“Tell us” Cassandra insisted. Apparently Wayne was as weak to her as Bruce was because that one made him actually frown.
“I… it’s not something I’m proud of” he tried to argue.
“Of course you are not, you wouldn't have quit over it if it was something nice” Jaosn replied “We’ve all done things we are ashamed of, just tell us, at least we can pass judgement and get it off your conscience”
“We won't actually judge you, Bruce” Dick clarified “We just want to know what we are working with here, I guess… and we are all too curious, we won't stop asking. You might as well tell us now…”
Apparently the assault on all fronts actually got Wayne to run out of arguments to not tell them, as he just glared at them for a bit.
“...fine” he finally gave in, seeing that no one else would budge “...I was trying to rescue a kidnapped woman… she was being held by just a couple of no name punks, it should have been an easy job. It would have been, a couple of years earlier. I beat them up, get the woman out… easy. I managed to fight most of them and got to the woman, but…” he put a hand over his chest, grasping his shirt “My heart acted up. I… I was on the floor, barely able to move, and one of them came back and started beating me with some kind of metal bar… he could have killed me right then. He probably was going to, I was… I was in pain, and about to die. And then I… I did something I thought I would never do” he closed his eyes, with a suffering expression. It was taking a lot out of him ot share this story “I picked up one of the guns off the floor and pointed at him”
A shocked silence reigned over the room at those words. Bruce hated guns. That was a well known fact, everyone in the room knew that he had some kind of phobia to them. A almost visceral hatred and fear of them due to them being the weapon that took his parents life. To hear him say he actually pointed a gun at someone… was almost inconceivable.
“I didn't… shoot it, I didn't fall that far. But I pointed it at someone just to save my own life... I knew it then, if my body was failing me so hard that I had to resort to using a gun… then I had to stop. It was over. I couldn't be Batman anymore…” he paused, looking over at Dick and Tim “All the others had left by then, moved on… even all the rogues were gone. I was the last one… and I couldn't do it anymore…. so I hung the suit in the glass case along with all the others and vowed to never again pick it up...”
Terry didn't know what exactly he had expected, but now he knew why Wayne had been so secretive about the reason why he quit. That moment clearly still hunted him, tortured him like many other instances in his life.
Bruce was the first one to react, looking at his older self with a comprehensive look “So that was your last night as Batman… a tragic end for a long career”
“A sad end” he concurred “Which is what we have always expected...”
“Yes… it could have been any of the villains, it could have been that punk that hit you that night, but in the end… it was a gun”
“Poetic, in a way...” he said, almost wistfully. That finally made Cassandra react, as she got near him and placed her hands on his face to make him look at her.
“Your… body, your heart there may have failed you… but your real heart, it's still… it's still good, it's still who you are… you're still Batman, here” she pointed at his chest “Still a good person”
“...thank you, Cassandra…” he said, a slight smile “It… means a lot to hear you say that, after that story…”
“I think we all think the same, old man” Jason said “And take it from someone who has actually shot a lot of guns at people, the fact that you couldn't even shoot it means a lot… you are still good, you shouldn't feel that ashamed of having more integrity than a lot of people would...”
“I think I could have handled that story at some point, Wayne…” Terry said “But maybe it's better that you have told all of us, so you can see that we all still like you despite past mistakes…”
“...thank you, but… don’t be so soft on me” Wayne complained.
“We are not being soft. You were in a bad situation, and your body failed you at the worst moment” Damian replied “You were alone, and could have died. As Todd pointed out, weaker men would have pulled the trigger. You didn’t. Despite the disgrace you think you brought unto yourself with the mere action of picking up the weapon itself… you did not use it. And that tells us a lot about yourself”
“I think what Damian is trying to say is that you were a good person, even with everything that was going on…” Dick tried to chime in “I'm sad you had to even be in that situation… you could have died all alone out there…”
“And I’m sorry I brought out such a painful memory…” Tim apologized, which Wayne was quick to respond to.
“No, it’s alright… you didn’t know it was so complicated. I… I haven’t told anyone before. No one… knew before...” he said, thoughtful for a second. “Maybe… maybe I did want to get it off my chest…”
“Well… if you are sure…” he replied, a bit surprised by how quickly Wayne had addressed him. “We should probably get this room clean from all the stuff we ate and all… will you be alright?”
“I’ll stay with him” Bruce said, which everyone just nodded to as they started working on getting everything down to the kitchen.
When they got everything Jason said he was going to help Alfred clean up a bit first, so he sent everyone back up saying he would get there soon. Terry was about to get back into the room when Dick stopped him at the doors frame. Cassandra, Tim and Damian were in the other door frame, also sneaking around. Terry was confused for a second before he noticed only the two Bruce’s were in the room, and the two of them were talking. Dick put a finger in front of his mouth to tell him to shut up and listen, and like the overly nosy person he was becoming ever since he became a bat, Terry did, because he actually was interested in what the hell those two would talk about.
“I’m glad you managed to take all of this in ok… they can be a lot” Bruce was saying.
“They sure are, I can’t believe you seriously have this many kids…” Wayne commented.
“It’s not that hard to believe… you had Dick and Tim too, you must understand why I took all of them in…”he said “Terry was taken in by you too, that part of you hasn’t disappeared…”
“....do you pity me?” Wayne asked, as he noticed how Bruce was looking at him with a sad look. “Terry told you about me and what happened to leave me alone when he found me, right? You know I don’t really… have such a close relation to Dick or Tim in my dimension…. Do you pity me?”
“...not exactly” Bruce answered, sighing a bit “I just… know what you must feel like, partly. I guess it's more empathy than anything…”
“How could you possibly understand…? You say that as if you didn’t have a family here… you don’t know what it’s like to live in a fully empty house” Wayne replied, looking over at his counterpart. “Completely empty. No one except me until I actually got a dog, that’s how unbearable it was. This house is so… it’s so alive…” he said softly, almost wistfully “With so many people who clearly care about you, who don’t hate the mention of you… who don’t think you're poison or just manipulated them as some kind of pawns in your war…”
Terry almost cringed at the memory of his dimensions Dick uttering those kinds of words filled with hatred towards Wayne, remembering hearing him describe him as exactly that. Wayne had probably heard him more often than he had, and still they clearly affected him.
“...it wasn’t always that way” Bruce slowly replied “It’s... taken a lot of work to get to this point…”
“Has it now…?” the older man grumbled, almost disbelieving.
“...Terry gave you a resume of everyone, right?” he asked, and Wayne nodded “Then he must have told you that Jason… died. And after that I closed off. I didn’t really want to get close to people anymore, they almost had to force me to with Tim. But the thing is… when Jason came back from the dead, he was… mad at me. Actually that may be putting it too lightly, he was furious, and the Lazarus pits influence didn’t help, making him lash out at me”
Jason, who had also joined the listening into the conversation party, shifted slightly uncomfortable at that. Apparently he was still a bit ashamed of all his furious raging.
“I… I didn’t really do much about it, for a long time. I just let his anger fester and did nothing unless he confronted me first. I thought in a way I… deserved it, I suppose. I've always felt that… people getting too close to me always got hurt because of me. And you are me, and after hearing what happened to your dimensions Tim and Dick, I know… I know you must feel the same kind of guilt…”
Wayne didn't say anything, but the small hitch in his breath at those words were enough of a confirmation.
“So I know you must also understand how I thought that… if he hated me, that was fine… that I couldn't… should’t ask for anything else, couldn't even dare to want anything else from him. Because I had failed him before…” he paused, as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “He’s… he's here now, he's alive and well, he's not angry with me anymore, he's almost back to loving in the manor and yet… sometimes I still feel… I still feel…”
“...like you don't deserve him back...” Wayne completed “Because you could never make up for how you failed him... nothing you did would be enough, nothing you could offer could compensate that… so maybe then it's better if he stays away…”
“Yes… because at least if he was away from me, at least he was safe…” Bruce continued, picking up on how Wayne was actually engaging in the conversation now “But in reality... that was just hurting both of us even more...”
“...you seem to be getting along well now…” Wayne said, in that tone that implied a question despite it being a statement.
“It's taken a lot of time. A lot of work, on both of our parts, and of the rest of the family as well… he's worked very hard to redeem himself for what he did during his worst moments and I've worked hard to stop putting all my barriers up around everyone. Jason isn't the only one I've fought with, I've had big fights and falling outs with all of them… but we've worked it out. And I'm working on being better, just as they are… its hard sometimes, but it's worth it… they are worth it”
“Yes… yes they are” Wayne finally said. “Ever since the whole Joker’s return thing was over… the Tim from my dimension and I have at least started talking again. Not often, because I… well, you know. But ever since Terry came back from here… he's been trying to make me not… pushing people away anymore. Or at least him… and it's made me actually call Tim again…” he confessed.
“Terry can be quite stubborn, just like his old man” Bruce said, with a little smile, making Wyane huff.
“You don't know the half of it. But yes, I… I see what you meant, with all that. And I’m sorry, I shouldn't have… said you couldn't possibly understand… there’s things I’ve gone through that you haven’t, but there’s things you've suffered that I haven't. I haven't… lost any of them to death, but you have” Wayne said, actually reaching out and briefly touching Bruce's shoulder “Even if somehow they are back now, that… I can't imagine how that must have been...”
“...you remember that… that emptiness, that blackness in our heart after Crime Alley…?” Bruce said, as he glanced down. “That feeling that nothing in the world made any sense anymore, that nothing would ever be right again…? That sad realization that we would never see them again…”
“I will never forget… even after all this time...” Wayne simply said.
“It was even worse than that...” he explained “Because I… I thought maybe I could have done something about it this time. I've thought that, everytime one of them has suffered… but with Jason it was the first time I've felt that feeling again. That emptiness, that suffering that never left me, I just…” Bruce mumbled, his voice trembling with emotion “My boy, my son… dead in my arms… I thought losing our parents was the worst thing that could happen, but no… a father should never have to bury his son…”
A moment of silence stretched over the room, between the onlookers. That little hearth to heart moment was probably something none of them had ever heard before either, if Terry had to guess.
“...I'm sorry…” Wayne finally said.
“Be glad you havent had to feel that, Bruce” he said, looking at Wayne straight in the eyes “Be glad your children are still alive, be glad that Terry found you and is willing to stay by your side. And work on it, never let the fear of loss make you send the people you love away again… because it's hard to have them come back after that, as you know...”
“...I'm glad Terry met you too, all of you really. I think… all this is good, for him, and for me…” he said “You are right. I shouldn't… I shouldn't be a coward, trying to keep them and myself from being hurt by keeping everyone at bay. And I shouldn't take for granted the fact that they are alive, and I can still talk to them. Or take all the people here as just some kind of fantasy…” he made a gesture to encompass the whole dimension “I understand now why Terry liked it here so much that he wanted to come back… and why he insisted I come. I think… I think I'd like to come again when he comes to visit you, if you'd have me…”
“Of course. You are both always welcome… and if you ever convince the other Tim or Dick to come as well, I would never say no” Bruce said, making Wayne smile a bit.
“...we will see” he was thoughtful for a moment “Also, about Terry… if anything ever happens to me…”
“I’ll watch over him” Bruce quickly answered “I promise”
“Thank you…” he said, taking a deep breath and leaning on his cane for a moment. “...I'm too old, too old to have such a young son...” he sighed “I won't be able to be there for everything… but at least you'll be”
“Who knows, maybe you'll outlive me” Bruce jokingly said.
“You are not allowed to joke about that, you have five children depending on you” Wayne chastised him.
“I know… It's wonderful…” he said, looking over to the rooms entrance “Speaking of said kids… mind getting out here in the open?”
“Oh man, how long have you known we were here?” Terry complained.
“More or less since Jason joined” Wayne told them.
“What? I’m sneaky too!” Jason complained.
“Yes, but not as much as everyone else… we should work on that” Bruce reprimanded “It’s fine tough… sorry if you didn't want me to talk about any of those things regarding you…”
“Ah, no, it’s… it’s fine. You two were having a moment, and… it was informative, I guess” he mumbled.
“It was all true…” Bruce said, making Jason scratch the back of his head embarrassed.
“Yeah, yeah I know…” he confirmed, a slight blush on his cheeks.
“I’m glad at least you listen to yourself, old man” Terry said to Wayne “It’s hard to get this kind of thing through your stubborn head”
“Yes… it’s lucky you are also just as stubborn” he said, smiling slightly as he actually raised his hand and pat Terry on the head, leaving Terry completely stunned. Wayne didn’t do that kind of thing, it was so strange he actually thought for a second he was daydreaming or something.
“Did… did that just happen? Or did I imagine it? Is this real life...?” he mumbled, looking around and getting amused smiles all around.
“Give us some time Terry, keep bringing him and we will manage to melt the ice king here to the point he will be the one to give you a hug” Dick reassured him, as he got an arm around his shoulders “I think you both need that”
Terry laughed softly, still in disbelief. This had gone way better than he had ever hoped for.