Chapter Text
Hearing Ren say those words makes Hux freeze in place. It’s only after he hears someone say that ridiculous name, Team Ren, he realizes how utterly ridiculous is this whole situation.
And his second thought is that Kylo Ren not only uses that damn forum but has been using it for longer than Hux, but of course that fool won’t do anything about it.
He needs to contain the situation. He takes a breath.
“We need to talk.” Hux speaks, slowly, his voice low and unnaturally calm.
You’ve seen the Team Ren vid? Kylo dared to ask. Hux almost laughs. He won’t ever admit it but he’s not only watched it too many times already, he has it saved on his datapad in a password protected folder.
“My quarters. Right. Now.”
For once in his life Ren doesn’t object. He follows Hux without any complaints as they walk towards the elevator. It’s like he’s on a leash, Hux muses, glancing back at Ren. He could use a leash. And a muzzle. And a kriffing drink right about now.
And a uniform, an actual uniform for Kylo Ren that he would have to wear at all times. Hux tries not to look at Ren’s exposed body as they wait for the elevator. Something inside him wants to scream.
They get inside the elevator and Hux presses a button. He taps his foot on the floor, pointedly ignoring his companion, and looks straight ahead. He feels like he’s on fire, anger burning bright inside him.
To think that Kylo Ren, his co–commander, knows about that damn forum! Hux may use it, sure, but he only does it to track down the traitors who post there. His interest is strictly professional. And if he knows Ren, the man doesn’t care that much about the Order’s integrity and what a threat that forum is. Hux briefly glances at Ren; of course Kylo looks guilty.
The elevator dings open despite Hux furiously pressing the button on control panel. Petty officer Thanisson stands there, frozen in place. His eyes dart from Hux, who’s still pressing the button, to half naked Kylo Ren. Thanisson has the nerve to look Ren up and down, face turning red as he stares at Ren’s muscular chest for a moment too long.
“Thanisson,” Hux barks, at last leaving the abused button. “Are you getting in or do you wish to stand there like a fool?”
“G– General Hux, sir!” Thanisson hastily salutes. “Lord Ren! Sorry, I’m uh – ”
He gets in, stands right in the middle between Hux and Ren, and presses a button so hard Hux can swear he hears a bone snap. Nobody says anything. Hux stubbornly refuses to look anywhere but at the door, ignoring the other men. If Thanisson speaks, he’s ready to shoot him right where he stands.
Can this elevator go any slower?! He grits his teeth. He will find the person responsible for designing elevators on the ship, and he’ll have their head.
Hux lets out a huff. Perhaps he’s overreacting. Maybe a little.
The door dings open again and Hux wants to scream. What’s with people suddenly riding elevators on this damn ship? How about only high ranking officers can use it from now on? If people waste time writing foolish things about Team Hux and Team Ren, then surely they can spend time doing physical exercise like going up and down the stairs.
Chrome armor glints in the light. Hux feels like he’s choking. It’s Phasma.
For once her face isn’t obscured by a helmet that she now holds in her hand. She raises her eyebrows, mild confusion flashes on her face. She looks at Hux who meets her eyes with a cold glare. Then she glances at Thanisson who shakes like a twig, his face so red he’s slowly turning purple. And then Phasma looks at Ren. He gives her an annoyed look.
“Hux. Ren.” She bows her head just so and gets in. “Thanisson.”
“Captain,” Thanisson croaks. With four people in the elevator, one of them wearing full armor, he has to move back and is currently pressed into Ren’s side. The petty officer looks like he’s being Force choked even though Ren doesn’t seem to be involved in any way.
Phasma presses a button and stands next to Hux without uttering another word. The elevator ride abruptly stops moments later and Hux thinks he will shoot the next person who tries to get in.
But no, the door opens and Phasma gets out. Her jaw is clenched, lips quivering as if she was trying not to burst out laughing. Hux almost takes out his blaster to shoot her right in the back.
Two floors?! Why didn’t you take the kriffing stairs?! He rages in his thoughts.
Then, finally, the door slides open to reveal a corridor leading to personal quarters for higher ranking officers. Hux shoots one angry glare at Ren before he gets out, and marches to his quarters. He doesn’t look back to check if Ren’s following. He better be!, he seethes as he inputs a passcode and the door to his room opens.
There’s nothing too unusual in his quarters other than a cat curled on a sofa, the cat’s ginger fur standing out among the dark colors of furniture and walls. Millicent sits up, stretches and looks at Hux with mild interest. The door slides closed behind Kylo who glances around until his eyes fall on the cat.
“Sit down,” Hux hisses through his clenched teeth. Ren obeys like a big dumb oaf he is, and sits on the other end of the sofa, away from Millicent.
Hux walks to a small cabinet where he left his datapad. Now that they’re behind closed doors they can finally talk about the recent developments. He needs to play his cards right. Hux straightens his uniform, brushes back his hair although not a single strand is out of place, grabs the datapad, swipes away a bunch of notifications, and logs in to the unofficial forums.
Ren knows about this. Now he knows Hux knows, too. What he doesn’t know, however, is the fact that Hux uses it only to monitor the situation and find the ones responsible for this treason. He has to make sure the reason Hux uses the forum gets through Ren’s thick skull and the man will understand the gravity of the situation.
Hux frowns at the screen seeing the most commented post is one of those fanfiction stories everyone seems to love. He’s read this one (for research, of course), and for a second he’s curious what happens in the latest chapter. It’s all professional curiosity; he’s only reading it because the author may reveal their identity and Hux will be able to catch them and put on trial for not only betraying the Order but more importantly – ridiculing their commanding officers. It’s one of those stories that focus on him and Kylo, previous chapter ended with a cliffhanger, and Hux wonders if in the new one the Hux from the story will finally show Ren his place.
And speaking of showing Ren his place…
He turns so his angry glare can make a point but then the air is knocked out of his lungs. Millicent sits in Ren’s lap, kneading his thigh with her front paws. Ren doesn’t quite know what to do. He winces when Millicent’s sharp claws dig into his flesh but doesn’t shoo her away, awkwardly patting her head.
She seems to like it. To add an insult to an injury Hux hears the cat purring loudly.
Traitors. I’m surrounded by traitors even in my own room..!
Unable to deal with this betrayal he goes to the bedroom to get some clothes so Kylo kriffing Ren can finally cover his stupid muscular chest and his damn perfectly sculpted abs. He returns and throws a bathrobe at Kylo’s face. Ren grabs it, his reflexes fast, and holds it out in his hand with a judgmental stare. Meanwhile Millicent is already curled on his lap.
“It won’t fit me,” Ren complains, looking rather offended. “It’s too small for me.”
Hux feels his cheek twitching. He could really use a drink. A whole bottle, actually.
“Just cover yourself,” he hisses through gritted teeth. His hand’s itching; if only he could get his blaster and just shoot the man, now that would solve so many of his problems. Thankfully Kylo listens and covers his torso with the robe like a blanket.
Hux grabs Millicent, tries to pull her away from Ren but she hisses, clutching to the man with her claws. Ren stifles a groan of pain, Hux pulls harder, but the damn cat doesn’t want to leave as if Ren’s legs were the most comfortable spot on the whole Finalizer while an expensive cat bed that cost quite a large sum of credits stands in the corner of the room completely forgotten.
Millicent emits something very close to a growl, a sound he’s never heard from her, and Hux scoffs and gives up, leaving the cat to curl in a ball in Ren’s lap. Hux curses under his breath and focuses his attention back on his datapad, the cat be damned.
Maybe just to spite him moments later Millicent sits up, stretches and yawns, paying no attention to what’s currently happening around her. She gives Ren an expectant look and he scratches her head behind the ears. That seems to be enough because she jumps down on the floor and runs to the bedroom. Hux considers running after her but doesn’t; there are other important matters at hand, he can deal with his traitor cat later.
Even my own cat is Team Ren. He cringes at the thought.
“So you’re telling me,” he says, clicks on the datapad and turns the screen to Ren. “You’re okay with these blatant displays of insubordination?”
“Hm,” is all Ren has to say.
His gaze is fixed on the screen, index finger clicking through the gallery, various fanarts appear on screen one by one. He raises an eyebrow at one that shows him and Hux on the bridge. It’s one of the latest works posted there, and judging by Ren’s expression he hasn’t seen it before. Hux is lifted in the air with his back pressed to a window, his clothes unbuttoned, fly open and revealing an outline of an erection under red underpants. His lips are open, expression pleading, hand reaching for the one who put him in this compromising position – Kylo Ren standing in front of him, one hand raised to use the Force in a highly unconventional way. The Kylo on the fanart looks very pleased with himself, has a wide grin on his face.
Kylo presses his lips in a thin line. His finger hovers above the screen, eyes captivated by the image, not clicking to see what's next.
"Stop looking at it and talk to me!" Hux snaps and snatches the datapad from Ren's hands. He has one more look at the hideous thing he doesn't care to call art, makes a mental note to himself who’s the author to maybe check it out later (so he can hunt them down and threw them out the airlock, of course) and clicks back so he no longer has to look at the fanart section of the forum.
He has to admit that much, the artist made him look good. It would be a good portrait if it wasn't obscene smut.
He wants to say something, reprimand Ren for his highly unprofessional behavior, when he notices that someone has just published a new post. There are people on the Finalizer using the damn forum while he sits here like a fool trying to interrogate Ren about it.
Then he reads the title and gets so angry all thoughts leave his head.
[ STORY IDEA: FORCE CHOKE. PLS HELP, BETA READERS NEEDED! ]
Ignoring Ren reading over his shoulder Hux clicks on it.
[ ur_kween: That you all for ur kind comments you guys left on my works!! : D I'm sooo happy you like my stories and I'd like someone to help me brainstorm some ideas I have. We all know Lord Ren holds Darth Vader as an example so I was thinking that maybe I should include Vader's signature move, Force choke, in the next story. All I'm saying is, u know how it's a general consensus at this point that Lord Ren would use the Force in bedroom (wink wink ;] ), so I'm thinking EROTIC ASPHYXIATION as the main theme of my story. Do u guys think it would be in character for our lovely Ginger General to enjoy it? I like to write him top but maybe it's time I wrote something with subby Hux? Thoughts? ]
He doesn't know what infuriates him more, another example of butchering the rules of spelling and grammar, using emoticons or the nickname this person has for him.
Because obviously, o b v i o u s l y, it will not be in character. And he will not have his own crew call him subby Hux.
He may fantasize about Kylo Ren pinning him to the mattress occasionally but that’s just a fantasy, and those damn fools who write those kriffing smut fiction should know better. It takes all his willpower to stop himself from replying to this preposterous post right this second.
Hearing a stifled chuckle Hux turns his head to look at Ren. Ren bites the inside of his cheek in an attempt to stop himself from laughing but fails miserably and pretends to cough. Hux sees red. The itch to grab his blaster and shoot the man is stronger than ever before.
“How can you laugh at this?!” he growls. “This is exactly why we need to shut this thing down! It’s against all and every regulation of – ”
“Please, Hux,” Kylo says, clearly amused. “It’s just harmless fun.”
Hux gasps. “Harmless fun?! You call disrespecting your superiors harmless fun?!”
Ren shrugs. Hux has to stop himself from wrapping hands around the man’s throat and squeezing.
“This is treason!” he yells, waving his datapad in front of Ren’s face. “Officers spend their time doing this instead of working! We need to find the ones responsible for all that, that… Team Ren and Team Hux nonsense!”
"I mean, would you?" There's genuine interest in Kylo's voice that makes Hux stop yelling.
"What?" He barks, looking at Ren with confusion.
Much to his surprise Kylo blushes. "Would you enjoy erotic asphyxiation?" He clears his throat. "Force choke or, uh, you know, more traditional way, if someone wrapped a hand around your– "
"That's not the point I'm trying to make here!" Hux splutters, turning red in an instant. He pulls on his collar, suddenly feeling he's wearing too many layers. Is his voice really so high – pitched? He clears his throat, trying to control his nerves.
"This!" he angrily waves the datapad in front of Ren's nose. "This is... This is treason! I'll have them publicly executed!"
"You want to execute most of our troops?" Ren quirks an eyebrow. “You’ve seen how much content there is, and it’s all different people posting under various pseudonyms. I guess most of Finalizer’s crew actively posts about shipping us together.”
Hux scoffs, tugging at his collar. “Shipping! Are you hearing yourself, Ren?”
Kylo shrugs. “You’re taking it way too seriously.”
“I’m too serious?! No, you’re completely ignoring this enormous problem!”
“There’s no problem, Hux. You’re getting all angry about people having fun.” Kylo retorts with a frown and a pang of hurt in his voice. “Are you hearing yourself? You want to punish people for essentially expressing their admiration for you.”
Hux blinks. “That’s not… admiration,” he says despite not being so sure himself. “They… They mock me.”
Kylo rolls his eyes. “You can’t be serious. Take that stick out of your ass and think for a minute. You must have seen the things they post there. The drawings are beautiful, and yeah, the stories can get a bit, uh, raunchy sometimes but to think people want to write about you…” he shakes his head. “I don’t blame them, and I’m not surprised there even is Team Hux to be honest.”
Hux takes a sharp breath, the beast inside his heart howling. He can’t take his eyes off Ren who looks so utterly miserable. Now that Kylo has mentioned it, Hux can’t stop thinking about the idea that what he sees on the forum, all those ridiculous posts, are written by people he sees every day. And who see him.
And maybe Kylo’s right, maybe they do adore him. They have some serious problems with expressing their adoration for him, but in the end some of them seem to be genuinely passionate about Team Hux.
Kylo gives him a look, his brown eyes on Hux, searching for something Hux can’t quite define.
Then the unthinkable happens: Ren reaches out, Hux’s first thought is that he’s going to get hit, but instead Ren’s fingers gently brush his face. The moment he touches him a shiver runs down Hux’s spine. The touch shuts him up, too, as he’s unable to form a single word. He needs to protest, not grab the bathrobe still covering Ren’s chest while the datapad falls from his hand and clutters to the floor. The screen may be broken; Hux doesn’t care in the slightest.
Ren’s eyes are on him, not looking him in the eyes but at his face as if he was counting his freckles. And maybe he is.
Kylo blinks like he woke up from a trance, and there’s so much confusion and fear in his eyes Hux nearly laughs. Ren’s large hand is still touching him, fingers tracing Hux’s jaw. His hand lingers for a moment too long and it’s all it takes for Hux to decide he wants – he needs – he must –
“Don’t be shy,” he whispers, his voice like a purr. His hands clutch the bathrobe and pull it down to uncover the perfect body he’s dreamed about too many times to count.
Ren takes his hand back, his jaw clenched and cheeks colored. He has this deer caught in the headlights look on his face and Hux revels in the power. To see the mighty Kylo Ren gaze at him like that may be the greatest achievement of Hux’s life.
“Why do you use that damn forum, Ren?” Hux presses, eyes narrowed. Kylo doesn’t move, only watches Hux as if hesitant how to react, but he does allow Hux to straddle him and put hands on his shoulder.
“Do you enjoy those silly stories about us?” Hux leans in to whisper in Kylo’s ear, because seeing Ren so docile makes him bold.
“Maybe,” Ren whispers back, his breath tickles Hux’s skin. “But I want to imagine the real thing’s better.”
Hux chuckles. As much as he enjoys teasing the man, he has to smart about it now, he needs to–
His train of thought is abruptly derailed when he feels Ren’s lips to his own.
Oh, Hux thinks. The sound echoes in his suddenly empty mind.
There are two possible outcomes of this. Part of Hux is outraged by Ren's boldness. But then another part of Hux is delighted with how sloppy the kiss is, how Ren is hesitant and unsure. That's why Hux returns the kiss, tongue forcing his way into Ren's mouth, and twists a hand in the dark locks, reveling in the way Ren's whole body shudders.
Ren's strong hands grab him and pull his body against his own. Kylo wearing only leggings is suddenly not a problem anymore.
Hux breaks off their kiss and for a bit they observe each other, both flushed. Desire pools low in his gut and he wonders how long it's been when he felt so careless.
Hux leans in to nip at the tender skin of Kylo's neck, eliciting a groan and a buck of hips.
"Eager, are we?" Hux smirks. The hands on his waist hold him in an iron grip. He briefly wonders if he'll have bruises. If he sees even one bruise on his skin he'll make Ren pay, he will think of a suitable punishment. The thought makes him smile against the hot skin.
"Hux." The way Ren half whispers half moans his name makes him drunk with power.
The heat radiating from Ren’s body is unreal and Hux half expects he’ll burn through his gloves when his hands travel down the muscular chest. He presses kisses to Kylo’s jaw, and the man seems to like it. He has to admit, it’s quite intoxicating to have Kylo Ren underneath him panting like that.
“Is the real thing better? What do you think so far?” Hux laughs, hands pulling on the waistband of Ren’s leggings.
“Infinitely better,” Kylo says before he captures Hux’s lips again in a hungry kiss.
He seems to like it quite a lot, kissing, and he also gets bolder, his hands moving down to give Hux’s ass a squeeze. Hux breaks the kiss and laughs. He feels drunk or maybe he really is, it’s difficult to tell.
He pulls down those damned leggings to free Ren’s erection, and gasps seeing his imagination wasn’t that wrong. He wraps his gloved hand around his cock, gives it few pumps as if to test how it feels. Ren responds with a moan that is cut short and turns into a series of curses, some in languages Hux doesn’t know.
Ren’s hands fumble with his belt and then he finally pulls Hux’s pants down. Hux bites his lower lip to stifle a moan, grabs their erections together in one hand and slowly exhales, the heat nearly suffocating him.
“Hux,” Ren says again and that’s almost enough to push Hux over the edge. “You feel so good.”
Hux smirks, he can’t even tell what’s gotten into him but he’s bold and unashamed and curious what other sounds can Ren make, so he rubs their cocks together and leans in to get back to kissing Ren’s neck because he needs to feel more of the man.
Kylo whines, his hands return to grasp Hux’s waist. He bucks his hips and a sound escapes from his lips. Maybe it was a soft Please, and the thought of hearing Kylo Ren beg nearly drives Hux mad.
“If you get it on the couch I’ll have you lick it clean,” Hux hisses between kissing the tender flesh of Ren’s neck.
That seems to tip the scales and Ren comes with a shudder and a low growl that goes right to Hux’s groin. The light above their heads breaks, sparks flying, as Ren spills on Hux’s hand and stomach. There’s something pulling at Hux, like a power surrounding him, that wants to both squeeze him like a bug and caress him like a lover, and maybe it’s the power Ren always talks about but Hux doesn’t care because Kylo’s hand is wrapped around his, rubbing their cocks together and Hux throws back his head, coming all over Ren’s chest.
After a longer moment when they both try to calm down their breathing, Kylo leans back on the couch looking absolutely debauched. His face flushed, lips glistening, hair a mess, not to mention there’s come drying on his chest. What a sight, Hux thinks, zipping up his pants. He stretches and wonders how Ren’s pale skin would look against his black sheets. Perhaps that’s a plan for next time.
“So,” Ren beings, completely unfazed by how he looks, his tone suggesting he’s asking Hux about the weather, “about that forum…”
Hux scoffs. “Your bedroom manners are horrendous. But we can work on that.”
Kylo blinks. The implication doesn’t escape him and the blush on his face gets a shade darker.
“You’re not going to hunt people down just because they draw fanarts of you, right, Hux?”
“Yes, yes,” Hux waves his hand. “I won’t do anything against that wretched forum. For now,” he adds. “But since you use it, you need to help me find true identity of one its users.”
Ren’s brows knit. “Who?” he asks; the confused look he gives Hux is almost cute.
Hux narrows his eyes, anger returning to remind him of the one thing he cannot forgive.
His mortal enemy.
“Millicent.”