Chapter Text
Summer is in full swing. The golden sun beats down over LA, and Ethan squints even as he has his sunglasses on, checking to make sure they’d packed everything.
“Man, I’m so excited for Unus Annus to end.” Ethan comments, reaching up to close the trunk of the car. When Mark is quiet for a moment, Ethan drops his arm and turns to look at his friend.
Mark has an eyebrow raised, and suddenly Ethan is reconsidering his use of the word “excited,” but Mark doesn’t look offended at all, only thoughtful.
“What?” asks Ethan.
“Just,” Mark hums. “Weren’t you so worried about the end of Unus Annus not that long ago?”
“I guess.” Ethan shrugs. “But, that was when I wasn’t sure what we were going to be when we stopped, you know? It’s different now.”
“Yeah?” Mark is smirking a little, a glint of something like pride in his eyes.
“Yeah.” The corner of Ethan’s mouth tugs upward and he nudges Mark aside so he can reach up again and pull the truck closed. “You’re stuck with me now.”
There’s a stupid grin on both of their faces. Life has felt almost unreal, with so many small touches and kisses now, so casually integrated into their everyday lives. Even now, as Mark plucks the sunglasses off Ethan’s face to reply, “Unfortunately,” and give him a kiss, Ethan’s heart stutters and sings and his brain turns to mush.
Ethan goes for the driver’s seat as Mark gets into the passenger seat. Chica and Spencer are in the back. They’re driving to the desert, just the two of them. Just for a few days. All the camera equipment is in the back and they’d planned to make plenty of videos making use of the desert environment, but mostly, it meant time and space for just Ethan and Mark.
“I get what you mean. I’m excited for it to end too.” Mark finally says, when he’s done setting up the GPS directions for Ethan on his phone. “So many projects that I can jump right into, and one that I can wrap up nice and easy, and be incredibly proud of it. I’m just glad you’re no longer worried about the end, y’know.”
“Well, I’m not sure I was worried .” Ethan responds, pulling out of the driveway. They’d talked about this before, after the first day Ethan had finally opened up, a late night conversation to clear it all up. “I knew we were still going to be friends, obviously. I just wanted so much more that anytime you came close began to hurt, I guess. And it weighed down on me.”
“Mm. I’m still sorry about that.”
“And I’m still going to say you don’t need to be, Mark, shush.”
The drive isn’t short, but Ethan doesn’t mind at all. He reaches for the aux cable after heading onto the driveway, putting on a random playlist on his Spotify. Over the speakers, there’s a familiar, steady kick of drums, then the guitars. A wide smile spreads across Ethan’s face.
When the lights go out, will you take me with you?
And carry all this broken bone
Through six years down in crowded rooms
And highways I call home?
At first, he’s just bopping his head along, not wanting to annoy Mark by singing, who seems to be checking that his latest upload is okay on his phone. But then the chorus comes on. Ethan can’t not sing the chorus.
And if you stay, I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes
How long until we find our way in the dark and out of harm?
You can run away with me, anytime you want!
Ethan laughs breathlessly, glancing over at Mark and meeting his eyes. There’s something fond glimmering there, and in the smile that Mark has as he watches Ethan belt out the high notes.
They banter and chat and sing the whole way there - the way that the golden sun warms every corner inside his mind is something he hasn’t felt in very long, yet it feels so familiar. Nothing’s changed about the way Mark laughs with his head back when Ethan says something particularly hilarious, or the way they immediately slip into ridiculous voices when they hear a serious song and make themselves giggle. It’s just that now, Ethan knows what the adoring look on Mark’s face means.
-
The Airbnb they’re staying at has basketball hoops set up, and a game of horseshoes set up in the back. They’d left the car parked in the shade, relief out of the hot dry sun, as they filmed a few videos for Unus Annus. Chica and Spencer chase each other excitedly in the wide open space, and Ethan is crouched in front of the pathway, digital camera aimed at the scenery in front of him.
The blue of the sky and the oranges of the desert land reflected in the metallic walls of the building, with the basketball hoops, Ethan can see the photo vividly in his mind. Peering through the viewfinder, he messes around with the dial until the light meter is centered, keeps the lens steady, and-
“Hey, ya goof,” Mark says right into his ear, and Ethan almost falls over.
“Jesus Christ ,” Ethan yelps, hand flying up to his chest. “What was that for?”
Mark doesn’t answer, instead, he just squats down and rests his chin on his hand. “What’cha taking a picture of?”
“Just the building and the scenery,” mumbles Ethan, setting up the shot again. “At least I was , until you almost made me shit my pants.”
“Whoops,” Mark says, watching Ethan as he turns up the aperture number. “What’re you setting up that’s taking so long though?”
“Well, I’m trying to get the lighting right, and it’s bright as fuck out here, so I had to turn the aperture and shutter speed all the way up, and then turn down the ISO, but then I also wanted a bit of background blur so I’m trying to keep the aperture opening big. And then I like the colors most about this shot and I’m trying to make the tone purposefully warm so I was messing around with the white balance settings, so that I can see the orange and the bright bright blue against each other, ‘cause they’re complimentary colors, and the basketball hoops kind of frame the subject, it’s gonna look so fucking rad. And I just got this new lens and it was expensive as hell but I think it’s so worth it, I wanna mess around with all the settings.” The click of the shutter. “See, look, and then I can bring them out a tiny bit more in editing, but it looks real cool right now.”
He holds out the camera for Mark to look at, who hums in response, and then gives Ethan a look like he’s deep in thought.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you, like, full photography nerd before.”
Ethan flushes. “I try to keep it lowkey, but yeah, I just think it’s super cool.”
“It’s really cool,” Mark agrees, genuinely. Ethan distracts himself from his fluttering heart by capping the lens and packing his camera back into his bag.
“I’m glad you think so, because I’m probably going to nerd out tonight taking pictures of the stars, and the shutter sound is going to bother you throughout your entire space loving session.”
“Totally fine by me,” says Mark. “You good to go? Let’s head inside and eat, I’m starving.”
“Alright, yeah! Let’s go baby!” Ethan announces and hops up, brushing the dirt off his knees.
-
Some Cracker Barrel takeout later, the sun is finally setting, its last rays of golden light hanging onto the edges of the few wispy clouds before the sky fades into a warm purple, blue, black. Ethan hangs back to clean up the table, insisting that Mark go on first and set up the telescope. Of course, Mark bickers a little, but eventually gives in and heads outside on the promise that Ethan will be outside soon too.
Dim yellow lighting. The warmth of the food, the coziness settling over Ethan’s heart. Spencer pads around the kitchen at his heels as he busies himself throwing away the trash, and Ethan squats down to give Spencer an affectionate scritch on the head and a “How’re you liking the desert, bub? Have fun so far?”
He takes his time, in no rush to let this moment get past him. When everything is all tidy, Ethan leans against the counter. Breathe in, out .
Everything feels like where it’s supposed to be.
Months ago, right at the beginning of Unus Annus, where had he been? Hopelessly yet cluelessly pining for his best friend, feeling as though he wasn’t allowed to get too close, wasn’t allowed to see his own value.
But he could . And it wasn’t wrong to do so. And Mark likes, loves him back. Ethan is astonished at the fact that Mark even loves Ethan a fraction of how much Ethan loves Mark (don’t tell Mark that Ethan thinks that, he knows that Mark would throw a fit), but everything seems right.
It’d been both a terrifyingly long, and simultaneously short year. He thinks he’s changed a lot, in the past year. For the better.
(He can’t wait to tell his therapist, she’d be so proud.)
Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he peers out the window. Mark, a silhouette against the starry sky, has his head tilted upwards, Chica resting her head in his lap, with the telescope next to them.
Goddammit. Ethan still doesn’t understand how someone can be so pretty.
Before he heads outside to join Mark, he grabs his camera and takes a picture. He doesn’t want to forget this warmth.
-
“I’m gonna get sand everywhere,” Ethan complains. “There’s gonna be sand in my hair, in my shoes, in my pockets, in my ass-”
“You big baby, just move up here to the pavement, then.”
“-I’m gonna have a sandy ass. Sandy vagina but it’s my ass. Oh, it’s like the mummy video, you got seasoning fuckin’ everywhere , I’m gonna make you lick me clean except it’s sand .”
“Oh my god, just come here, there’s less sand here.”
“But the ground’s so hard! I’ve already gotten back pain from my shitty mattress, not to mention how much you like to crush me in your sleep, my bones are being abused .”
“Says the one who turns into a literal octopus when he sleeps.”
Ethan pouts.
“Well, you’ve got two choices, either be sandy or be in pain.” Mark says.
“Both are the same,” declares Ethan, but he wants to be next to Mark anyways, so he sighs and scoots up to the pavement. Plus, he doesn’t want to be bitten by any desert snakes or whatever was hiding under the rocks. It feels a bit like a movie, with just the two of them, laying side by side, gazing upwards at the constellations.
They’d filmed a short video with the telescope and stargazing, discussing everything and nothing. With the filming all good and done for the night, they’re finally winding down to take the time for themselves.
The vast, endless expanse of space hangs above them. Far away from the city and light pollution, thousands and thousands of stars reveal themselves.
It’s a long while of comfortable silence before Ethan glances over, to find that Mark’s eyes are already on him.
He raises an eyebrow, at which Mark does back at him.
“What?” Ethan whispers, a grin tugging at his mouth.
“Nothin’, you just look pretty.” Mark replies, like it’s the most casual, obvious thing in the world.
It’s fortunate that it’s too dark for Mark to see the way Ethan’s face immediately turns pink, cheeks burning. “Oh my god.”
“What? It’s true.”
Ethan covers his face with his hands. He is actually going to melt into the ground. “Mark, I- you can’t just say that.”
“I can and I will,” Mark declares, scooting closer. Ethan peeks out through his fingers. “And you better enjoy it while I’m still all soft like this. You’re always pretty, I’m just reminding you.”
You’re pretty too,
sits on Ethan’s tongue, but he holds it back for now because his heart is stuttering too much. Instead, he uncovers his face and teases, “Who knew Mark Fischbach could be so cheesy?”
“Fuck off, let me be as cheesy as I want. I deserve it after so long.”
At Mark’s words, Ethan blinks. Rolls over onto his side and pushes himself up on his elbows. “So long?”
“Yeah.”
“How long?” Ethan blurts out. “‘Cause Kathryn told me it’s been a while, but I don’t really believe that.”
“...Kathryn talked to you about me?”
“Well, kinda, yeah, because one time you came over she thought we got together but we hadn’t yet at that time, and then I sort of gave in and confessed I liked you, and she was like ‘bruh Mark’s liked you too for years’ but I think that’s impossible, anyways that’s besides the point, how long?”
It’s Mark’s turn to blink at Ethan, but he evidently decides to ignore the majority of Ethan’s ramble for now. (They’ve got all the time in the world now, anyways. He could ask plenty of questions later.) Instead of responding, Mark asks, “How long since you knew you liked me ?”
“You can’t just not answer my question and ask it right back!” exclaims Ethan.
“Well, you’re not getting an answer from me until you answer.”
“What! I asked you first, mister.”
“Sometimes life is unfair-”
“Well, you’re not getting my answer until you answer.” Ethan taps his chin. “Nor are you getting any kisses.”
Mark raises an eyebrow. “I guess neither of us will ever get an answer.”
Ethan swings his leg over and pushes himself up so he’s straddling Mark and rests his elbows on Mark’s chest, his face over Mark’s. Below him, his friend’s face is full of amusement. “As if you could resist this face.”
“You know I could, the question is if you can resist mine .” Mark says, and his eyes flicker down to Ethan’s lips, making the other smirk.
After a few seconds of tense standoff, faces mere inches from each other, Ethan groans. “This is stupid. I’ll get an answer out of you eventually,” he says, cupping Mark’s face, and finally tilting down to press their lips together. Mark smiles triumphantly into the kiss, but happily kisses back, eyes falling shut and arms wrapping around Ethan’s waist.
Under the stars, everything has fallen into place.
-
It seems like the audience is catching on. Ethan always scrolls through as many comments as he can on all of their videos, and now there’s a good percentage of them all about whatever happened to “don’t touch me,” and how practically they’re doing the complete opposite of that now.
“Character development is going from ‘don’t touch me’ to doing a camp together with too much team bonding, and then piercing each other’s ears, and then massaging each other, and then literally doing the Koala Couple’s Challenge,” Ethan reads, and snickers.
He knows Mark and himself haven’t been very subtle. The way that they’re so much more openly comfortable and genuinely care for each other, the way that they have so many casual touches with the shot put video and the marching band video, the way that Mark’s hands linger when they’re wrestling.
But honestly, they haven’t discussed going to lengths to hide it, and he doesn’t really see a point to. It should probably be a bigger deal to him, but the whole transition from friends to boyfriends has been so seamless and natural, he finds it hard to see any reason to hide it from the world.
Obviously being in the public eye, things are always complicated. But with the more photos he collects on his camera and his phone of Mark and their shared moments, the more he wants to announce to the world and show him off and say, hey look, I love him!
Ethan’s over at Mark’s place (like usual), in the kitchen cooking lunch when Mark comes in and refills his water bottle, then leans against the counter.
“Hey,” Ethan greets, looking up. “Thought you were streaming with the boys?”
“Yep! Just taking a quick break.” Mark says. “Is that my hoodie?”
Ethan looks down at himself. “Uhh, yeah.”
“The one that you stole and kept in your room?”
“...To be fair you did tell me that I could keep it.”
“True, true.” Mark smiles. “Just thought it was kinda cute. Oh and also, I wanted to ask you something.”
Still recovering from Mark’s words, Ethan turns away from the stove to give Mark his full attention. “Oh?”
“Are we boyfriends?”
Ethan blinks at him. “Yes?”
“Oh okay, good, I just wanted to double check.” Mark reaches out and playfully pushes the hair that’s fallen into Ethan’s face away. “Wasn’t really sure, but I really wanted it to be true.”
“Wait, what else,” giggles Ethan. “Ah yes. I’m just casually making out with my bro, y’know, declaring my love for my bro, no homo-”
“Hey, just checking, we’re keeping good communication ,” retorts Mark indignantly.
“Yes, and it’s very much appreciated.” Ethan grins at the other. “Oh, and speaking of communication, I wanted to ask if you’re okay with letting the rest of the world know? About us?”
Mark tilts his head, thinking. “Of course. But we’d have to think about how. And we should probably tell our families and friends first.”
“That’s totally fine with me.”
“Me too, then.” Mark leans forward to press a kiss on Ethan’s forehead. “Gotta get back to the stream, we can talk about it more later, yeah?”
Ethan smiles, shoos Mark on his way. “Sounds good, babe, have fun!”
Things end up going really smoothly, in fact, too smoothly, because it turns out that apparently all of their friends had been betting on them getting together. Kathryn, although laughing from how long it took for them to get their shit together, gives Ethan a shoulder nudge and tells him that she’s happy for them. When Ethan messages Seán, he responds with “Y’all weren’t together already???” and then “Oh shit I called it, the end of Unus Annus you both are going to get a house and get married” and Ethan almost dies laughing at Mark’s face when he shows him.
In the end, they both don’t have to make any formal announcements for the rest of the world. There’s a bit in one of their videos where Mark ends up kissing Ethan out of the blue, and the way that Ethan gets so caught off guard is so funny that neither he or Mark can bring themselves to edit it out.
Ethan just sits back when the video is uploaded and happily watches all his social media start blowing up. Unus Annus has always been the bringer of goodhearted chaos, after all.
-
The car door slams shut. Mark’s got the camera in hand, with Ethan at the driver’s seat.
“I cannot believe we’re doing this,” says Mark, footage shaky as he buckles the seatbelt.
“Mark, we have to go even further beyond , we gotta!” Ethan leans over, gets up close to Mark and the camera. He’s reminded of a bit from long, long ago, and he can’t resist bringing it back. “C’mon, Mark, we have to get closer! The end is nigh, it’s almost been one full year - not to mention one hell of a year - how’re we gonna finish it off with a grand finale if we’re not close?”
“We’re plenty close enough,” Mark mumbles, pretending to be exasperated but there’s a glimmer of recognition in his eyes.
“C’mon, c’mon,” Ethan presses his cheek up against Mark’s. “Don’t you love me? Tell me you love me.”
Mark rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth tugging up. “Unfortunately, I do love you.”
Ethan’s heart blooms. “I love you too.”
-