Chapter Text
“Gukkie! Hey! I’m making ramen for us, I figured you’d be hungry after practice.”
There’s something so damn domestic about the whole scene. Taehyung waiting up to eat dinner together until Jeongguk was back from dance after a long day. It’s so easy to forget at times like this, all the reasons why Jeongguk and Taehyung could never be Jeongguk and Taehyung. He almost has to turn his head away because it physically hurts to watch Taehyung take his portion out a little earlier because he knows that Jeongguk prefers his ramen a little underdone.
He could have prepared himself. He should have known. It was obvious really, that things would boil over at some point. Anyone with a working brain could see it clear as day that Taehyung wounds were stitched over too haphazardly to stay closed. But Jeongguk had been so distracted in his selfishness, so consumed with himself, it blindsided him regardless.
For someone who pays attention to every movement Taehyung makes, Jeongguk has allowed himself to be willingly blind to a great many things. But this? This is too much.
Because when he looks back at Taehyung the sight he sees terrifies him. It’s not obvious, Taehyung clearly has been trying to hide it, but it’s there. The red-rimmed eyes, puffy face, only obvious to someone who makes a point to memorize every slope and hue of his face. Taehyung had been crying, recently too.
There’s only so much that can be ignored.
Very, very slowly, as if dealing with a frightened animal, Jeongguk puts his bowl down and moves towards and oblivious Taehyung. Carefully, he puts the other bowl aside too as Taehyung looks at him confusedly.
“Guk? What- what are you doing.” Deep breath. This has gotten so far because Jeongguk wasn’t strong enough, because he wasn’t putting Taehyung first, and that cannot be allowed to happen anymore.
“Hey Tae.” He says softly. Taehyung must see something in Jeongguk’s face because he keeps quiet despite his perplexed expression.
“I didn’t say anything before because I figured you didn’t want me prying, but you clearly aren’t doing great, and haven’t been for a while.”
“Guk, it’s- “
“Like I said, I’m not trying to pry, so please don’t deny it.” Taehyung closes his mouth with a weak roll of eyes.
“It seems like whatever’s bothering you is getting worse rather than better, is that- is that accurate?” Avoiding eye contact, Taehyung waits a few seconds before giving a hesitant nod. He feels strange, having this conversation. Horrendously unqualified to be forcing someone like Taehyung to pour his heart out. He’s not the right person for this, never will be. But no one else seems to be doing anything, so Jeongguk will have to suffice for now.
“And you don’t have to tell me what’s up. I just don’t know what to do to help you, what do you need me to do? I can’t sit here and watch this, Tae- Taehyung.” Jeongguk doesn’t deserve that nickname right now.
“Have you told Jimin? He has some idea what’s going on, I assume because of something that happened before, but it doesn’t seem like he knows exactly what happened recently.”
Taehyung remains silent and worryingly expressionless, Jeongguk only panics further, he can’t keep his mouth shut.
“Not that you have to tell anyone! I just want to make sure you’re doing something. I’m sorry! I really am trying not to assume anything about your situation or force you into anything. It’s totally up to you, I’m honestly just concerned. I just want to help!”
Taehyung cracks the smallest of smiles at the rambling finally making Jeongguk stop talking. As tempted as he is to fill the silence with apologies, he forces himself to keep quiet, to put Taehyung first for once and listen to what he has to say.
“I appreciate the concern, Guk, I really do, but I swear it’s not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. You’re right I was a little upset for a bit, but I promise I would say something if I wasn’t fine.”
Jeongguk resists the urge to reach over, grab Taehyung by the shoulders and shake him until something happens. He knows that isn’t true. He purposefully started out this conversation calm, collected, careful not to scare away a frightened animal. But Taehyung won’t acknowledge anything, no matter how carefully Jeongguk tries to assert that he is there to help.
Because this is it, the climax that’s been building up, and there’s nothing Jeongguk hates more than confrontation.
Deep breath. “Taehyung. You know you haven’t been yourself, haven’t been for a while. I’m asking because I’m concerned, all of us are so worried about you. It’s hard to watch.”
He looks back at Taehyung’s face, and there goes the last of his resolve. Taehyung’s eyes are glossy, his features resigned.
“I’m sorry Guk, I didn’t mean to drag you into this— “
“Tae. Stop apologizing, you didn’t drag me into anything.” Another deep breath. “I’m asking because I care about you, I really do.”
“Guk— “
“Let me finish please? I kind of need to get this out right now.” Taehyung nods. “I like you. A lot. I know this is really, really bad timing, but you deserve to know, I think. I didn’t want to say anything, mostly because I didn’t want to burden you anymore, but I think not saying anything has made me a bad friend these past few weeks. And you definitely deserve better than that, so I’m telling you now., I’m sorry. ”
“Hey, you told me not to apologize, so if I can’t, you can’t either. I guess since you’ve been honest, I should be too, then.” A brave smile. “I like you too, Guk. You’re so good to me. I really do wish things weren’t so complicated right now.” Both of their faces fall just a little at that. “Second, you’re right. There is a lot going on. I promise, I’ll tell you about it someday. Not today, okay? It’s been a long day, can we just cuddle and order in?”
Yeah, Jeongguk can definitely do that.