Chapter Text
I dropped my keys into the bowl near the door with a clunk. I'd been staying at Jake's Seattle apartment when I came into town for work and he'd accompanied me this time because I was going to see Edward in the hospital. I insisted that I go alone, and I wouldn't even let him drive me there. I'm not quite sure why, but I just needed to do it by myself. Jake seemed to understand that and didn't put up a fight, though I saw the deep concern in his eyes.
"Bella?" Jake called from the living room. I could hear cheers from whatever he was watching on television.
"Yeah, it's me," I called back. I walked down the short hallway and dropped my bag just inside the door before I plopped down on the couch next to him. He was watching some football game.
"How'd it go?" he asked after I pretended to watch the game for a few minutes determining it was college football from the score posted at the bottom right on the screen. Things had been amazingly normal since we flew home from Lake Charles. Like, Jake & Bells normal, before we started dating. We left the day after I was released from the hospital and he insisted on taking care of the details of my divorce himself.
"Surprisingly easy. He didn't argue over any of the conditions, hell he didn't read it before he signed it," I reported. "He even apologized." He bumped my thigh with his fist. I looked over at him.
"Does he know that I'm working with Aro to compensate all the people they swindled?" he asked, his face still towards the TV.
"No. Not that I'm aware of," I said. "He's broken. He may rebuild himself. I think he wants to try. But I don't feel like I need to be a part of his rebuild. I've invested and lost too much." I said. I had my own life to build sans Edward, but with our child. My child. He didn't seem to be listening so I just thought the last bit.
"I'm sorry, Bells. I know this is harder on you than you're letting on," he said looking back at me. I nodded and didn't say anything, afraid I would cry. Now that the marriage was finished and the divorce almost official, I didn't know when he was going to go back to work. He was looking back at his game.
"When do you head back to Lake Charles?" I asked, revealing part of my fear and bracing myself for the answer. I took off my shoes in an attempt to act normal.
"I'm not," he answered, still watching the game. "Embry is going take a semi-permanent role there from now on. Come on, you fucktard! Catch the fucking ball!" he yelled at the TV. I never understood people who yelled at athletes on the television—like they could do any better. But this was a college game and Jake had played college ball, so I guess he had room to talk. Charlie used to watch him play on TV. I continued to watch him because I couldn't tell if he was really into the game or if he was trying not to look at me. And I didn't quite understand what he meant.
"What about Maggie?" I finally asked, getting to the heart of the matter. I thought it was weird that he hadn't mentioned her at all over the last week, but I thought he was just being kind since my marriage was about to end and he didn't want to rub my face in his happiness.
"She dumped me," he said, matter-of-factly. I saw him glance over as I turned on the couch and pulled my feet up to face him full on.
"What?" I asked. I grabbed the remote and turned the television off. My hands were shaking and my conscious mind didn't not know why. "When?"
"Right after they carted you off to the hospital to check the baby," he said taking the remote back and turning the television back on. He leaned back against the sofa, rubbing his stomach. It didn't make any sense. What the fuck was he talking about? Why didn't he tell me? Why wouldn't he look at me? Why did his hand on his stomach make my insides squirm?
"Jake."
"Bella."
Was he deliberately being annoying? He was! I could tell by the set of his jaw and the twitch of his cheek to hide his smile. The strip of caramel skin stretched across his obliques that was visible because his shirt bunched up was taunting me as much as he was.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I asked. He was still watching the fucking TV. I snatched up the remote, turned it off one more time, and threw the remote at the recliner across the room. It missed and landed on the floor. He gave me an incredulous look with a hint of a smile.
"I hope you didn't break that," he said, sitting up to look over at the floor where it landed. The floor was carpeted, it was fine.
"You have enough money to buy another one," I retorted anyway. "Speak."
"Woof," he replied. He smirked and snapped his teeth at me. I didn't think he was cute, but he sure did if that shit-eating grin was any sign.
"Jake!" I yelled, in frustration. He finally sat up straighter and turned towards me and his face turned serious.
"Is your marriage definitely over?" he asked, his tone was low but I tried to imagine it wasn't husky. He reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear and his index finger traced down my jaw, lingering there. It made all the butterflies come alive in my stomach.
"Yes," I replied not understanding why we were back on this. His expression went from serious to hungry. His obsidian eyes drank me in as he slowly inched closer to me. His scent filled my nostrils and I watched his lips part as if he was going to say something else. I didn't quite know what to think, but a coil of desire sprang loose in my gut.
And then his lips were on mine.
Hard and full of passion, he kissed me into next week and it was like coming home after a long, long journey. I leaned back at his gentle push and reveled in his weight on top of me. His tongue brushed mine and I met his fervor, adjusting my hips and opening my legs to accommodate his lean, hard body. One hand on the back of my neck, keeping me close and the other at the base of my thigh just under my ass, his lips feathered down my throat and I felt him suck.
"Don't give me a hickey!" I yelled and slapped his back, laughing. "We are not in high school anymore!" He stopped and chuckled into my neck and then kept kissing. I could feel his hard heat in my core and I wrapped my legs around his waist. God, I missed him.
"Jake, tell me what happened with Maggie," I said. He didn't stop kissing me and I was glad. His lips and weight felt so, so good.
"She said that," kissing my neck, "she didn't want to stand in the way," he kissed under my ear, "of you and me," he sucked again so I smacked his back again, "so she was," he kissed my chin, "stepping out of the way." He stopped and looked me in the eyes. "She's a good woman, Bells. But I don't love her the way I love you and she saw that." I groaned as I attacked his lips at the news. I pulled back after a few moments.
"And you waited a week to tell me?" I asked. I fiddled with his earlobe and his eyes closed with pleasure. I was half frustrated he kept it from me and half relieved he could be mine again. That he still wanted to be mine.
"I wanted you to be sure, with no pressure from me. You needed to clear things up with Edward, first, on your own terms. And I wouldn't have been able to say no to you had you had any urges." He kissed me again, as if to prove his point. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and pulled back, drawing my lip with him.
"So you think I'm a sure thing?" I asked when he released my lip.
"Bells, I'm laying on top of you, your legs wrapped around my waist, and my hard-on pressed into your coochie." He looked down at our bodies for emphasis and his eyes met mine again. Fuck he was good looking!
"Point taken," I said. I yanked at his shirt and he let me pull it over his head. "My God, Jake," I said, admiring his physique. He'd always been buff, but this was sculpted. I ran my hands over the defined muscles of his back as he kissed me again and ground himself into me. Acute shots of pleasure jolted through me again and he rolled to his side to free up one of his arms so his nimble, deft fingers could unbutton my shirt. He yanked it open and his fingers grazed up the skin of my stomach and his eyes fell on my lace-clad breasts.
He pulled aside the fabric with his index finger to reveal my nipple which hardened with the exposure. "I've missed these," he whispered before sucking it into his mouth. I groaned when he flicked and nibbled at it with his tongue.
"I want to see them both," he growled as he sat up and pulled me on his lap. With my thighs straddling his hips I threw my shirt on the floor next to his. I leaned in to kiss him while he undid the clasp of my bra and slid the straps down my shoulders. His large palms slid up my waist and cupped each of my breasts so the puckered skin jutted out the holes his fingers made. He nibbled and flicked each nipple with his tongue and teeth while I shuddered with pleasure.
"Jake," I whispered, "I missed you so much." Abandoning my breasts, he moved to unbuttoned my jeans as I started on his belt buckle. We both knew where this was going and I could hardly wait.
"I missed you, too," he whispered back. "So much." Our lips locked, hips rotating against each other, I hadn't felt this kind of bliss in years.
And then a wave of nausea rolled through me.
I pulled back, covering my mouth.
"What's wrong?" he asked, a little disappointed. His hands dropped to my hips, but held me in place like he was scared I was going to run away.
"I'm going to be sick," I replied.
"Oh," he said, but he looked a little relieved.
I pulled away to stand up and he reluctantly let me go. As the feeling became more urgent, I ran to the bathroom. I liked this apartment so much better. It was smaller, cozy, and warm—not sterile and modern like mine and Edward's. I threw up the rest of my dinner, not feeling relieved in the least as I brushed my teeth. Morning sickness was no joking matter. I hadn't held anything down for very long this whole week, and I knew I was going to have to go to the doctor tomorrow for an infusion. Carlisle had found me a wonderful Obstetrician in Seattle. When I opened the bathroom door, shirtless Jake was standing on the other side looking sympathetic with his jeans still unbuttoned. He looked like a fucking, bronzed God. He reached for my hand and led me into his bedroom.
"Finish getting undressed and lay down, Bells," he suggested as he pulled back the comforter of his large bed. I didn't argue and did as he suggested. I knew I had ruined the mood, but I didn't know what else to do so I climbed up into the bed. He covered me up and walked around to the other side. I heard the swish of fabric and the clunk of his belt buckle as his jeans hit the floor before the bed dipped as he climbed in under the covers with me. He pulled me up against him, my back to his front, encased in his heat.
"I'm sorry you're suffering like this, Bells," he said. I rolled over to face him and cupped his cheek with my hand.
"It'll be worth it in the end. I'm going to go see the doctor tomorrow. I've lost too much weight," I told him. Then he did something that really surprised me. He pulled the covers back and goosebumps erupted all over my naked body. His face moved to my belly and he spoke.
"Hey Little Blip. You gotta let your momma keep some food down or you'll both get sick. If she lets me, I'm gonna take care of both of you. And if you let her keep some food down, I promise to let you have all the ice cream and candy you want. Even when she says no, I'll sneak some to you."
His palm caressed the small, barely visible baby bump and then he pressed his lips to it. It was so sweet and my eyes filled with tears. He continued to whisper some things I couldn't hear to my baby and my heart swelled. I found out I was pregnant right after Jake finally opened his heart to someone new. I'd spent the last week convincing myself that dating Jake & Bells were never meant to be. Now he was here telling my belly he's willing to take care of us—if I let him.
"Jake," I said, pulling his attention up to my face. He saw my tears and looked scared.
"I didn't mean to make any assumptions, Bella, promise," he said, a little alarmed. I smiled to reassure him and he relaxed a little bit.
"You'd be willing to help raise another man's baby?" I asked, my voice full of emotion. He crawled back up and lay beside me, pulling the covers back over us before he wrapped me in his arms.
"This baby is yours, not his. I want to be with you and you're a package deal. I was always going to be a great Uncle Jake. I hope, soon, you'll let me be more. I love you, Bells." He kissed my forehead and I snuggled into his chest.
"I love you, too," I said. There was something so comforting just lying next to him, skin to skin. He didn't press for more even though I could feel his need hot against my thigh. His large palm was in the small of my back and I willed to go lower, but it didn't. My breasts were pressed against his chest and I could feel his thumb caressing my spine, lovingly.
"I'm sorry I had to stop what we started," I said after a few minutes.
"This is more than I ever expected," he replied, his voice now full of emotion. "I am a very happy man right now."
"I can feel how happy you are," I said. I looked up at his face and he was smiling back at me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. His eyes panned mine and he caressed my scar with his thumb.
"Sick. I hope this part is over soon," I admitted. "But you have no idea how happy you've just made me."
"You can show me later," he said and winked. "Just rest and be close to me." I did as he asked and wrapped my arm around his waist. I let my fingers run up his spine and I loved it when his breath hitched at my touch. We lay there for a while, just being together. Together, together—not just some stolen hours in a hospital recliner. This moment had potential. It had a future. And I sighed my overwhelming contentment.
"Edward was never like this with me," I said. I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about my newly ex-husband or not, but I had to get somethings out of my head.
"Like what?" he asked, sounding interested. His fingers mirrored on my back what I was doing on his.
"Tender. Honest."
"What does that mean?" he asked. He propped his head up on his hand so he could look down at me. His other hand moved to cup my ribs with his thumb just below my breast.
"He treated me like a princess, but like I was delicate and needed saving. It's like he wanted to keep me in the ivory tower and only let me out to show me off. He would hold me, but never to comfort me. It was only to meet some end game, which was usually sex. And then only for his enjoyment. He never made me…" I trailed off, hoping he'd fill in the blank.
"What? He never made you what?" he pressed. His thumb and fingers kneaded my skin, urging me to continue.
"You know," I answered. I didn't want to say it. It was too embarrassing.
"No, I really don't." I looked up at him and he wasn't being flippant, he looked sincerely confused.
"When we, you know, he never…made me…" I trailed off again. This was so embarrassing. I was lying, naked, in his arms and talking about my less than satisfying sex life with my husband. I could feel the blush spread across my chest and I peeked up at him to gauge what he was thinking.
"Cum?" he finally surmised. "He never made you cum?" He sounded disgusted. "Are you kidding me? You were with him for ten years and that selfish prick never gave you an orgasm, ever?"
"Well, I've had them, but I had to induce them," I admitted. It was always easy to talk about the strangest things with him—even if it was embarrassing. This conversation would have been extremely awkward with anyone else, but not with Jake. "It's almost as if he thought if he gave me one it would be unclean. He mentioned needing to discuss that with his therapist," I added. He was still looking at me in complete disbelief.
"Well, we gotta fix that," he said with a determined edge in his voice. Before I quite knew what he meant he was showing me, he rolled me onto my back, feathering kisses down my belly. After dipping his tongue into my bellybutton and causing another roll of pleasure through my body, he stopped. "I'm gonna play around in your foyer, Little Blip. Don't get nervous." I laughed, still confused at what he was doing.
He pulled the covers off and was kneeling between my legs, spreading them open. Before I could stop him, his lips were sucking on my clit. I'd forgotten how wonderful it felt to have his mouth there. My nausea was replaced with pure pleasure as his tongue flicked and danced across my mound and clit. He inserted two fingers, pumping them in and out, curling them about every third pump. I groaned my pleasure as my fingers laced through his hair, pulling him closer to me. I had to remind myself to stay open for him to give him access instead of clamping my thighs together from the intensity of what he was doing to me. Jake was very eager to try eating me when we first started having sex and I never minded the frequency with which he wanted to practice his technique. It didn't take long to bring me to a climax and I came in a fit of moans and gasps and "Oh GODS!."
"Jake, you have learned some new tricks," I panted and he fell across the pillow beside me, licking his lips.
"No I haven't. I've only ever done that with you," he confessed. I looked at him in utter disbelief. "It's like riding a bicycle, I guess. It all just came back to me."
"I'm having a hard time believing you right now," I said. "That was better than I remember." His hand rested in the curve of my waist and his eyes flicked down to my hardened nipples.
"I've fucked a lot of women, but I've only ever done that with you." His eyes were full of sincerity and leaned in and kissed my forehead. I don't know why that made me feel so good, I mean, he just admitted to being a man-whore, but knowing there was something that was mine was special. A wave of desire curled through me, replacing the nausea completely. I wanted him…needed him inside me.
"Jake fuck me," I said. I rolled onto my side and reached down and took his cock into my hand, stroking it to emphasize my need. I could tell he was ready as I smeared pre-cum over the velvety purple of his head.
"Bells, I don't want to fuck you," he said, shaking his head skeptically. "I want to—"
"Don't you dare say 'make love'. I have your love; I've always had your love. I need your desire. I need someone to hunger for me," I explained, my voice lusty and full of need. He eyes fell shut as I continued to stroke him and when he opened them again they panned mine. The hunger I saw transform his face out on the couch intensified as my words settled in his brain. I could see when he made his decision.
"With great pleasure," he agreed and rolled on top of me again. "You're feeling better?" he asked, just to be sure and lining himself up with me. We'd already had our foreplay.
"So much," I answered. I knew he meant the nausea, but I felt better about everything. It seemed my universe had been out of kilter for years and, now, everything was aligned again.
I'd asked him to fuck me and he did not disappoint. He slammed into me and paused, as if to revel in the moment. "I love you so much," he whispered and then he was off. It was as if an eternity had passed and no time at all—all in the same moment. Our bodies were already attuned, we'd done this so many times, but it had been a long journey to get back here.
He rose up on his knees, throwing my legs over his shoulders and pounded in and out of me at a wonderfully brutal pace. I watched in awe as his muscles bunched and flexed each time he drove into me and I reveled in the pleasure of each thrust. It was as if the years of pent up desire were being unleashed and it was perfect. The scent of our lust hung in the air like a fog and the slapping of skin increased the rise of our pleasure. He grunted as his fingers dug into my thighs, pulling me in to each animistic thrust.
"Jake, Jake, Jake, I'm so close. Please don't stop, please don't…" I called, reaching my arms up to the headboard to keep my head from hitting it. I watched as his eyes moved from my bouncing breasts, to the point of our raucous union, and back up to my eyes. His expression was an amalgamation of gratitude, disbelief, lust, and determination and I knew the root of each one because I was feeling the same.
"Come on, Bells, cum for me," he demanded. He moved one of his hands to my clit, sliding across it fast with just the right amount of pressure to bring me to the brink. His gaze bore into me and in that moment his eyes confirmed that I was the only woman for him. He was home and he was never going to leave me, ever again. And that was the thought that sent me over the edge. Emitting some guttural groans I'd never heard myself make before, I came in a series of spasms and Jake followed right behind me. He growled with his last jerks and fell on top of me, holding most of his weight on his forearms, my legs still over his shoulders.
"I love you," I said again before he kissed me. I watched his sensuous hips as he continued to rock and stroke into me, pulling out one more small orgasm before I felt him soften inside me. He gently moved one of my legs from his shoulder to his waist and then the other settling on top of me with the glorious weight of his body.
"I have," he said as he kissed me, "waited," kiss, "so long," another long kiss, "to do that again." He rolled over, pulling me with him. We made out like horny teenagers and I could hardly believe how soon he was ready to go again. I climbed on top of him for round two. We had years to make up for. And I ended up with three hickeys—but only where no one could see them.
"So I guess we found a cure for your nausea," he said in between rounds.
"Or a way to help me forget about it," I said, kissing him back. We spent the rest of the night napping and fucking making up for all that lost time. Jake seemed determined that I get at least two orgasms for every one of his. If I wasn't already pregnant, I would have been worried.
"Bella!" Dr. Cullen said in a pleased voice. He gave me a hug and kissed me on both cheeks. "It is so good to see you. Dr. Raferty says you're doing just fine and that he prescribed you some anti-nausea medications.
"Yes," I confirmed. "Thank you for the referral. I don't know why I'm getting so sick. I hope this medication works. Coming in for an infusion every couple of days is not optimal. He also gave me a list of foods that may help and I'm off to the store to buy some watermelon."
"Well that's good. Get some fortified drinks and some cola may work as well. Are you headed up to Forks soon to see your dad? I just saw him yesterday. I think he misses you."
"Yeah, probably the day after tomorrow. Jake needs to drive me back up there. He's going up after he wraps up some business with Aro," I said. His smile turned a little pained, and I didn't like seeing it. "What is it, Carlisle? What are you thinking?" Could he see what happened between Jake and me last night? Was I that transparent?
"Bella, I know I have no right to ask, but do you think," he looked around and pulled me to the side of the hallway, "do you think that I can have a small role in the child's life? He or she doesn't have to know our true relationship, but I would really like to see my grandchild grow up."
"Carlisle," I said, shocked. This was something I had never questioned in my mind, I was always going to make him a part of Little Blip's life. I guessed I'd never told him that.
"I'm sorry for the assumption, it's just…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he said hurriedly.
"Carlisle, Little Blip will know exactly who you are. You just have to fight with Charlie over your grandpa name," I said, hoping to ease his anxieties. He stood there, shocked. "He may never know Edward, but it will be a while before he even asks how you're his Poppy. Kids just feel love, I wouldn't have it any other way. There is never too much love in a family for a child," I explained. I had truly left him at a loss for words.
He grabbed me up and hugged me tight. "Really?" he asked when he released me.
"Really," I said, smiling.
"Poppy? Does Charlie want Poppy?" he asked, looking excited.
"I think he wants Grandad," I said, recalling our conversation about a week ago.
"Bella, I am so sorry for what has happened," he said, looking suddenly concerned again. "How are you doing?"
"I'm really good," I said. "I'm sad that my marriage has ended, but Edward has made decisions that I just can't live with." I didn't tell him I was sore and happy about the reason I got that way.
"Well, you look wonderful. You have that glow. And I am happy that you are finding the joy in this difficult situation. That's how I know you're going to be a great mother. I wish Esme were here to enjoy this as much as I am," he said.
"Is that your wife's name? Edward never talked about her," I said.
"Yes, my sweet Esme. I just can't seem to find anyone to compare to her," he said with a sad smile.
"What a beautiful name. I've never heard it before."
"There is an argument in her family over whether it is a Turkish derivation or a French. It fits her no matter which is true. In Turkish it means emerald, which would describe her beautiful eyes that Edward inherited. In French it means beloved," he explained.
"Which she is, much to the dismay of every nurse in every hospital," I said, flicking my eyes to the nurse's station where a nurse was giving me the stink eye since Carlisle hugged me. He followed my line of sight.
"Carla! Meet the mother of my grandchild! I'm going to be a Poppy!" he announced to the room. There were smiles and cheers. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Let them reconsider now that I'm going to be a grandfather. No young woman wants to date a poppy!" He smiled and I giggled, but I thought he was wrong. But it made Carla smile at me instead of flashing me hateful looks.
"Jake is a good man, Bella. And he loves you," he said, growing serious again.
"I know," I said, looking at him. If it would have been anyone else I would have told them to mind their own business, but Carlisle was looking out for me. He really was sorry about how Edward treated me. "I have to figure some things out, but I have some time. Nothing has to be decided today other than getting to the pharmacy to fill the prescription." I had decided that when I woke up in Jake's arms after the fourth of fifth time we had made love. I didn't have an aversion to the phrase any more.
"Okay. I don't even know why I said that. I just want you to be happy," he added with a smile which I returned.
Me, too, Carlisle. Me, too.