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Yuletide 2019
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Published:
2019-12-21
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1/1
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this youthful heart can love you

Summary:

Carol waited a week before she left with the Skrulls.

Notes:

not mine, no profit garnered. title from tracy chapman's give me one reason to stay.

Work Text:

Back on Hala, when she thought she was Vers, Vers knew for certain she had a type. She liked women. Part of her deep inside said to hide it, but she wasn't an idiot. It clearly didn't matter in Hala. Or anywhere she went. Something in her mysterious past trying to keep her to old rules that didn't apply.

She also had a very particular type, she'd see it in a smile or the line of her jaw, something in the eyes. She looked for someone in particular. It made her wonder if someone was still looking for her. Why they hadn't found her.

Mostly, she didn't think about it. She did her work and enjoyed it. When she knew it was safe to, that she didn't have to do her duty, she played and enjoyed it.

She never got attached. She didn't know if it was because of someone she didn't even remember, or if it was a sign of her maturity. Don't let emotions cloud your judgment, she heard that one a lot.

There was a place she went to eat. The food was horrible. Vers liked it because something felt homey. She hoped it wasn't the taste of the food. It wasn't the conversation, people barely talked to each other. There was a game in the corner that involved pressing a series of buttons that lit up in a specific pattern. Vers was fantastic at it.

"What's that you're humming?"

Vers looked to her side and saw a gorgeous woman. This woman made up for the food tonight. Vers said, "Just some song." That Vers didn't know the words to or how it should sound. "Did you want to play this?"

"It isn't for two people," the woman said. "I think you know my cousin, Korath?"

Vers shook her head. "I do. You seem very different from him."

"Yeah," Korath's cousin said. "He's very … he's a great soldier."

"He sure is," Vers said. "What's your name?"

"Mora. Call me Mora. There's a game we can both play over there."

"I'm good at that one, too," Vers said.

Mora was skilled at that game and everything else. In the morning, Vers could feel a name on the tip of her tongue but Mora had already left and it wasn't her name anyway.

Then she started to remember. The things the Skrulls didn't see in their machine. She saw a beautiful woman in her bed. Making out. She'd called it making out. All the parts she kept looking for in all those other women. Maria.

Eventually, she remembered everything. All of it. Her whole life.

xyz

Carol waited a week before she left with the Skrulls. During that week, she had a whole morning when the house was quiet. She went into Maria's room. "I really do remember everything."

"That's good," Maria said.

"I remember you, us," Carol said. She hates the tentativeness of her voice and her posture.

"I wondered," Maria said. "Because I would have felt rude." Maria was just then right in Carol's space. "Suddenly being like this." She kissed Carol like she was in charge and it felt exactly right.

They were very quickly naked and Maria said, "Please don't fire up and start glowing when I'm touching you. I don't want to get burned."

Carol snickered. "I won't and you wouldn't. I don't want you to get burned, either."

"That wasn't a metaphor," Maria said, smiling and laughing. "It wasn't supposed to be a metaphor."

It was good. It felt good. She was where she belonged. But it was still different. She frowned for a moment. Her fucking life, gone and she wouldn't get back any of it. Almost half of Monica's life.

She hadn't said anything. But Maria said, "We've both changed, of course. Did you ever sleep with an alien?"

Carol laughed. "Of course I did. And it was funny, they all looked a little like you. Parts of you."

"That sounds sweet," Maria said. "But they were also aliens." Maria gestured down at her spread legs. "Did they really look like me?"

"Close enough," Carol said. "I was secretly pining." She pretended to swoon.

"Yeah, so secret you didn't even know it," Maria said.

"Did you sleep with anyone?" Carol smiled. "It's okay if you did."

"Yes, it's absolutely okay if I did. I thought you were dead," Maria said. "But, no, I didn't. I was busy. You know, raising a child, building a life under heavy government scrutiny."

"I didn't remember you," Carol said. "I didn't know I had this."

Maria said, "Oh, now I should remind you? Right?"

"I would appreciate it," Carol said.

She was in a good mood for the rest of the day. But there was always duty.

"I'll be back," Carol said, right before she left. "I can't wait to be back."

Maria sighed, but she was smiling. "I guess I'll have my memories to keep me warm. It won't be years this time, right?"

"I hope it won't even be weeks. I'll have to leave again, but next time, I'll stay longer," Carol said. "I have duties here, too."

"We're a duty for you," Maria said, still smiling.

"A glorious duty," Carol said.

"Glorious," Maria, voice loaded with sarcasm.

She kissed Maria goodbye and put on her jacket and took off.

Carol came back in weeks. Just like she promised. A glorious duty, she thought, laughing as she landed. She'd already called ahead.

Monica was wearing her pajamas. She said, "Mom fell asleep."

"How are you still up?" Carol gripped Monica's shoulder. She was going to be tall. It would be awesome.

"It's Saturday, I can sleep in," Monica said. "Unlike some people, I don't get up automatically at the crack of dawn."

"It's training," Carol said.

They went inside. Monica plopped back down on the living room couch and put another tape in the VCR. "Star Wars," she said, laughing. "None of it's accurate, right?"

"No, not really," Carol said.

"I wouldn't mind meeting Princess Leia," Monica said. "Or Luke Skywalker."

Carol went into Maria's room. Someday, everything would be resolved enough it would be their room. Maria really was asleep. Carol sighed and got in bed next to her.

They both woke up at the crack of dawn. Carol looked up at Maria who was leaning over her. "Five weeks," Maria said. "How long until you leave again?"

Carol shrugged. "I don't know. Lots to like around here. Reasons to stay."

Maria smiled. "I agree." She had that smile, the set of her jaw. It was exactly home.