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Of All the Gin Joints in All the World

Chapter 18: Epilogue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, hears something break and sighs. He stands from where he's going over the people's current proposals; there are a dozen farmers who want more land, or want their neighbour's land, there are lawbreakers currently in the dungeons awaiting trial, and his and his Queen's one-thousand, one-hundred and forty-second anniversary is approaching. Despite Frigga's capability of planning the event herself, she still demands Odin's input. Which means he will sit, look over plans and fabric samples and food samples and smile, nod, or “ah” in the right place. Frigga can tell when he is lying, she always can, but she always seems perfectly happy to accept his less-than enthusiastic responses.

There is another crash and Odin walks through his office, down the hallway of his and Frigga's private chambers, and enters the family space. To say it is a war zone is an understatement. Odin has seen battles less messy than this. He had once witnessed Thor and Loki destroy a dragon together and the mess had been cleaned up within an hour. This? This will take far longer.

'What are you doing?' he demands in his best King voice but, like Loki before them, the four children seem less than impressed. Not one of them even blinks.

Alva, the eldest, looks up from where she's taking apart Frigga's bookcase, and beside her Frey, the youngest, just waves from where she's reading a thick book on magic. The middle children- twin boys Einar and Calder- are in a heap on the floor dressed in Odin's battle armour. The helmet is so big that Einar's head isn't visible, and Calder has wrapped Odin's red cape around his body like a blanket.

'Grandpa!' Einar shouts, his voice muffled by Odin's helmet.

'What are you doing?' Odin asks.

'Playing, Grandpa,' Calder huffs. 'We're Princes going into battle!'

Odin sighs. This reminds him far too much of raising Thor and Loki. Thor would get into everything and Loki would take things apart, apply his magic, and put them back together again. They would then explode at some unforeseen time in the future and Loki could be found cackling madly to himself in the corner. Thor was the less troublesome son, though he still enjoyed dressing in his father's armour and racing around the palace with a wooden sword.

'Please put that away, it isn't for children,' Odin orders.

Calder pouts up at him- he got that from both his parents, Odin has seen Loki and Anthony use that look on each other- and Einar finally pulls Odin's helmet off and drops it on the rug-covered floor. Odin winces when it lands with a clang and fights the urge to reach up and rub his good eye. Sometimes he fears that he is far too old to look after children less than one hundred years old. These four are less than fifteen Midgardian years. They are babes, and Frigga is much better with babes than Odin is.

'Mom and Dad let us play with their armour,' Einar mutters, but he gets up and begins to lug Odin's helmet back towards his and Frigga's bedroom.

Odin sighs again, but glares when Calder doesn't move. Eventually the blue-skinned boy pouts again and stands to trail after his twin. All four children were born Jötunn-blue, but Alva is a gifted mage and shape-shifter, and constantly keeps her form human. She or Loki casts glamours over Frey to make her appear human, but the twins prefer to be blue. Odin was shocked the first time he heard it- Einar and Calder had been three and demanded that they stay Jötunn-blue when they visited Asgard.

None of the children have a problem with Jötnar, or with being half Jötunn themselves, Odin is thankful to see. He made a number of mistakes with Loki, but not telling him about his true heritage was the worst. Loki has never been anything but honest and open with his children, and as such Einar and Calder are happy to walk around with blue skin, red eyes, and messy black hair.

With the twins currently occupied, Odin turns to the girls. Frey is still reading quietly, but Alva has gone back to using... some type of Midgardian tool to slowly pry the wooden shelves from Frigga's bookcase.

'What are you doing?' he asks.

'Grandma said I could inspect her new furniture,' Alva says. There's a thunk, and then Alva flops onto the floor with the shelf. She turns it around in work-rough hands to inspect the glue used to keep the shelf in place.

'I'm simply reading,' Frey says, and her lips twitch upwards in a smirk that is all Loki. While being the quietest of Loki and Anthony's children, Frey is still rather... tricky, Odin thinks. She is more like Loki personality wise than her brothers or sister, and Odin always keeps an eye on her. He learned his lesson the first time he babysat. Alva had been ten, the twins six, and Frey had been little more than a babe, only just learning how to crawl. How she got into one of the kitchen cabinets in Anthony's Midgardian home was beyond Odin, but she had still accomplished it. And seemed very proud of the mess she made afterwards.

Odin's just glad that Frey inherited Loki's love of books.

'Good,' Odin decides, and looks around once more. There are half-eaten snacks all over the tables, a jug of fruit juice has been upended and its contents soaking into a rug, and there are large pieces of parchment, quills, and Midgardian markers all over the floor. Apparently the boys grew bored of colouring and decided to play dress-up instead. 'When are your parents returning?' he asks, even though he knows.

'Four days, six hours, and any number of minutes,' Frey answers. Alva is busy frowning at the shelf and trying to break the wood in half for Hel-knows what reason.

'And your dear grandmother?' Odin asks.

'Three hours,' Frey says. 'She wanted to speak with the cooks about your anniversary dinner.' She finally looks up, blinking at Odin with brilliant green eyes. She looks just like Anthony, Odin thinks, but she has Loki's eyes. 'Do you want me to watch the twins until she returns?'

'No,' Odin says, because Frigga will berate him if she returns to discover that he hasn't spent at least a little time with his grandchildren. Odin loves them, he really does; just like he adores Thor's son, Leif. But the four are a handful, and Odin isn't as young as he once was. Plus, the children are a mix between Loki and Anthony, who are difficult enough to deal with, despite their ages. Odin still remembers when they visited for the twins' first birthday and somehow managed to set fire to the Throne Room. A truly remarkable feat, seeing as how everything is made of gold and there's nothing flammable in the room.

Sighing for what must be the hundredth time since Loki and Anthony dropped off their offspring and fled to Vanaheimr, Odin takes a seat on the lounge and leans back. Hands folded over his stomach- which, alas, isn't as slim as it once was- Odin glances around the room once more.

'Grandpa,' Frey says suddenly and Odin glances to the right to see the young girl standing before him, the book clutched to her chest so it doesn't fall.

'Yes, little one?' Odin asks.

'Could you help me read this?' Frey asks. She sits beside him, having to shuffle a bit to reach the cushions. She is only five in Midgardian years and so very small. Odin can only just remember Loki at that age; he was such a small child, like Frey, with dark hair and bright eyes. He was curious and mischievous, but a good child, Odin knows. He also knows that that's due to his dear wife rather than him. He took more interest in Thor, his heir, and left Loki's raising to Frigga. Yet another mistake, he thinks with a sigh.

'Of course,' Odin says when Frey puts the book across both their laps. It is written in Old Norse, and though Odin knows that Loki has been teaching his children the language, it is still clearly a bit too much for the youngling. They're not yet old enough to be gifted with the AllSpeak, so for now Frey must do with her mother's teachings.

Odin soon loses himself in reading the words out-loud to Frey in both Old Norse and English, helping her pronounce words she struggles with, and defining the words she is unfamiliar with. It reminds him of sitting in this very room with Thor and Loki either side of him, reading stories of past Asgardian heroes, listening as Thor planned his and Loki's future adventures with Loki muttering about Thor most likely losing an arm.

They were simpler times, Odin thinks. Thor and Loki were so young and bright, so full of hope. And then Thor's head grew larger, and Loki's darker, and Odin made it worse with his treatment and his plans. He is making it up to both his sons now, but it will never be enough, Odin knows. Loki suffered too greatly to ever fully forgive Odin. At least he cares about the Allfather enough to let him watch his children for four days.

Frigga returns eventually to find Odin and Frey still reading, Alva standing amongst a pile of wood that was one a bookcase, and Einar and Calder mock-battling in the remnants of Odin's armour and their bedcloths. After scolding the boys and showing Alva how to magically fix the bookcase, Frigga sends the children- and Odin- off to get cleaned up for dinner.

Soon they're all sitting in the family dining room, the children yammering to each other and occasionally to Frigga and Odin about their day and what they got up to.

'I received a letter from Loki and Anthony this morning,' Frigga says, and her husband glances at her from across the table.

'Oh?' he says, but looks back down to help Frey cut up her meat.

'Indeed,' Frigga says. 'They will be returning tonight, rather than in four days. Apparently Loki had a falling out with Tayaber's wife, and Anthony wrote that they are already awaiting Heimdall's permission to return.'

'I see,' Odin muses, clearly trying to recall who Tayaber is. He assumes that it is the Vanir friend Loki wanted to visit, but can't be sure.

'Mom and Dad are coming back?' Einar perks up, and Frigga smiles at him.

'Indeed, young one,' she says. 'They should be back some time tonight, and will spend the following four days here with us.'

'Yay!' Einar and Calder both cheer.

'We can show them our new battle moves!' Calder says.

'And the pictures we made!' Einer says.

'And the hidey-hole we found!' Calder adds, while his twin nods seriously. They both turn their large red eyes on Frigga, and Calder says, 'Can we stay up and wait for them, Grandma?'

'No,' Frigga says, and the boys groan and pout and scowl at their dinner. 'They will return very late, dear, and you boys are growing; you need to rest.'

'Boring,' Calder mutters.

'Wanna see Mom,' Einer says.

'And Dad,' Calder adds.

Alva rolls her eyes at her brothers and goes back to trying to heat her meal up via magic. She's quite skilled, Frigga can admit, but nowhere near Loki's level. Loki has more raw magic than anyone Frigga has ever come across in her long life. But Alva is stubborn and clever; she'll make a fine mage when she grows older.

'Stop complaining, you will see your parents in the morn,' Frigga says. 'Now eat and tell me about your battle moves.'

Calder launches into an explanation while Einar stuffs meat and plants into his mouth, nodding vigorously whenever his brother looks at him. Frey eats quietly and Alva continues to try and set her dinner on fire, only stopping when Frigga threatens to tell Loki that she isn't eating. Pouting, Alva sits back and cuts up her vegetables, scowling when she realises that Odin's smiling at her.

After dinner- with only one food fight occurring, Odin is pleased to note- Frigga leads the children to their chambers. Alva shares with Frey due to Frey's age, and the twins, naturally, sleep in the same bedchamber; they're best friends and are inseparable, after all. Frigga takes the girls to their chambers and Odin takes the boys.

He makes sure the twins wash their faces and hands before instructing them to get into their sleepwear. It is done with minimal fussing, telling Odin that the boys are quite tired. Which is understandable; Frigga had taken them horse-riding that morning, and they'd gone swimming with Thor, Leif and Lady Jane afterwards.

Odin tucks Einar in, and then moves across the room to do the same with Calder.

'We're not babies,' Calder huffs, but accepts the kiss Odin bestows on his forehead, and his brother does the same.

'Of course not,' Odin says gravely. 'You are already fine warriors of both Midgard and Asgard, are you not?'

'Yeah!' Calder cheers. 'Dad said he'll make me a suit like his one day!'

'I want armour like Mom's,' Einar says. 'Dad's suit is boring.'

'Is not,' Calder huffs.

' Is ,' Einar sniffs.

'Dad can fly,' Calder says, 'Mom can't.'

That makes Einar grow quiet, and Odin smiles to himself. 'Both your mother and father have their own skills and abilities,' he says. 'One day you will grow into your own and protect your homes and your loved ones.'

'Yeah!' they cheer together. After that they ask for a story, which they apparently aren't too old for, and Odin settles into the armchair that was placed in their room for just this occasion.

He tells them of the time Thor and Loki wandered into one of the forests by themselves hoping to slay a dragon. Of course, dragons aren't native to Asgard, but the boys had heard the story from Fandral and believed it, of course. They came across a karju instead, which was similar to a very large, very fury Midgardian boar. It had chased them and cut Thor's trousers and bottom open before Loki could stun it with magic.

Einar and Calder giggle at the thought of Uncle Thor losing his trousers, and then cheer through their yawns when their mom saves the day.

'Now you must sleep,' Odin says and stands to leave the room.

'Grandpa?' Calder asks.

'Yes?' Odin pauses in the doorway leading to their play room.

'Tell Dad and Mom that we missed them and'll play with them tomorrow,' Einar says.

'I will,' Odin promises. He walks through the play room and exists their chambers. They join onto Loki and Anthony's, and Odin and Frigga's are at the end of the hall. The girls are across from the twins, and Thor, Lady Jane, and Leif occupy rooms closer to the kitchen. Odin still remembers coming across a heavily pregnant Jane trying to find the Asgardian equivalent of yoghurt.

Smiling to himself, with fond memories echoing in his head, Odin walks away from his sleeping grandchildren to find rest with his wife.

 

{oOo}

 

Tony creeps into Alva's bedroom first and finds her curled up in the middle of her bed, the sheets wrapped around her like a blanket cocoon. He snickers quietly and shuts the door; Alva's just like her mother. Frey's dead to the world too, hugging a pillow and muttering under her breath. Tony tip-toes in and can't help but press a kiss to the top of her messy brown hair. Frey's so mature for her age, but she and Alva are still Tony's baby girls. He'll never stop thinking of them as such.

Having confirmed that his daughters are resting comfortably, Tony leaves their chambers and goes back to his own. Loki's already back, sprawled across their large bed. He's wearing sweats that they brought from Midgard- he used to sleep naked, but having kids curbs that habit- and glances up when Tony enters the bedroom.

'How are they?' he asks.

'Sleeping,' Tony says. 'Einar and Calder?'

'I almost woke Einar but he just rolled over and fell back asleep,' Loki tells him.

Tony laughs. Einar was the easiest baby after Alva; he ate well, rarely ever spit-up, and only screamed when he was sick or when his twin brother stole his toys. Tony pulls off his leather pants, tunic, and jacket, tossing it all in the hamper in the corner before flopping onto the bed in his boxer-briefs. Loki rolls over to tug the covers up and Tony yawns, snuggling into Loki's cool side.

'God, that trip sucked,' he mutters.

'Indeed,' Loki sighs.

Tayaber had been more than happy to see them but his wife, Frejta, had spent the day making scathing remarks. Apparently she didn't like Jötnar, or “those blue savages”. Loki could handle hate pretty well, but as soon as she started on Tony- calling him a “Savage's whore”- Loki had snapped. A few choice spells had had Frejta stuck to the ceiling of her house, her skin and hair all painted blue. Tayaber had been caught between embarrassment and anger, and eventually Tony had just dragged Loki and their luggage out of the dwelling and away.

They'd spent the day in the towns of Vanaheimr after Tony had written Frigga, and had only just gotten in about twenty minutes earlier. Tony's exhausted from all the walking and putting up with Frejta's words. He'd like to go back and punch her in the face, but figures that Loki painting her blue is punishment enough.

'Our trip got cut short,' Tony murmurs.

'Mm,' Loki hums, already sounding half asleep.

'Are we really gonna stay in Asgard?' Tony asks.

Like Tony had predicated way back before they were married, Loki hadn't been able to stay away from Asgard. They'd first returned for Alva's first birthday, and then when Alva wanted to visit Grandma and Grandpa. That was followed by the twins' first birthday, more visits, Thor's marriage and Leif's first birthday and Frey's first birthday and... well, they were constantly travelling back and forth when their schedules permitted it.

'Mm,' Loki repeats and Tony pokes him in the side. 'Anthony,' he growls.

'Answer me properly.'

Sighing, Loki says, 'Yes, Anthony. We need the break and the children don't return to school for another week. Let my mother and Odin watch them while we relax.'

'Okay,' Tony says. 'You promised me an entire day in bed, remember? That'd better happen.'

'I will ask my mother to take the children into the city for the day,' Loki says. 'Then I will hold you down and fuck you. Afterwards I will take my Jötunn form and you will fuck me.'

'As awesome as that sounds,' Tony says, 'I didn't bring condoms.'

'Perhaps I do not want you to wear a condom,' Loki says, pleasant as you please, and Tony sits up so quickly his head spins.

'WHAT?!'

Loki smirks and rolls over, showing Tony his back.

'Lokes... Lo-Lo... LOKI!' Tony snaps and pushes on his shoulders. 'Don't do this to me, Lo! You promised we'd have two kids, wait until they're adults, then have two more! We already have four and they're all under the age of fifteen! I didn't sign up for this, Loki! I'm tired! I need a break!'

'Goodnight, Anthony,' is all Loki says.

Tony flops over him, whining into Loki's ear. 'I hate you,' he mutters when his actions fail to get a reaction from his husband.

'You love me,' Loki retorts.

'Shut up.'

Smirking, Loki rolls over to quickly kiss Tony before settling back down. Tony sighs and slides off of Loki to lie by his side. He wraps an arm around Loki and pushes the other under Loki's pillow. Loki wiggles back until he and Tony are spooning, and both gods sigh.

'You really want another kid?' Tony asks.

There's silence, until Loki breaths a soft, 'Yes.'

Tony hums and thinks about it. Thinks about hearing Alva's first words, and watching the twins walk, one quickly after the other, and Frey teaching herself how to read at three-years-old with a little help from JARVIS. Tony smiles and remembers Loki blue and pregnant, eating tomatoes whole, then about welcoming another little Tony-Loki into the world, holding a little blue baby in his arms. All of their kids had been born blue...

'Yeah,' Tony eventually says. 'Okay.'

'Really?' Loki is quick to ask, and Tony laughs.

Nuzzling his face into Loki's neck, Tony says, 'Yeah. Let's have another one.' He can feel Loki smiling- he just knows he is. 'I can't believe I married you,' Tony grumbles. 'All these kids are gonna send me grey.'

'I doubt it,' Loki says, but there's amusement in his tone. 'I love you,' he then adds and laces his fingers with Tony's, squeezing gently.

Smiling, Tony squeezes back. 'I love you too, Lo-Lo.'

There's silence for maybe one, two seconds, before Loki suddenly flips over and kicks Tony out of bed. Tony lands with a thump and a groan. He sits up to glare over the mattress, and Loki smirks at him. 'I hate that nickname, Stark,' he says and buries himself in the blankets.

Tony groans and flops back onto the rug-covered floor. Loki is such a dick.

After a few minutes he hears rustling and when he opens his eyes it's to see Loki leaning over the edge of the bed.

'What?' Tony grumbles.

Loki smiles softly and holds his hand out. Tony can't help but smile back and he lets Loki pull him back into bed. Loki mumbles a very soft apology as he burrows back into Tony's side, and Tony's smile widens. He pulls the blankets up and feels Loki settle, curled up like the blanket hog he is.

'Anthony?'

'Mm?' Tony hums.

'Six,' Loki says, and Tony laughs. Yeah, six. Loki's wanted six kids ever since they first found out he was carrying Alva. Tony had thought two would be okay. Then three when it turned out they were having twins. Now they have four, and Loki wants another... now Tony's kinda hoping that they next one they have is twins, too, so he and Loki can stop for a while.

Tony breathes out heavily and presses his lips to the back of Loki's neck. Loki hums. 'Six,' Tony says, and he feels Loki stiffen slightly. 'Six is good,' Tony adds.

There's a pause before Loki chuckles softly. 'I love you,' he says.

Tony smiles and kisses the top of Loki's messy black head. 'I love you too, Loki.'

 

{Fin}

 

Notes:

Frey – “FRAY”, lord

Leif – “LAYF”, successor

Author's Note: The end! I hadn't planned an epilogue but, like this entire story, it just happened. So there it is. Thank you for all the kudos, comments, reviews, and support, I truly appreciate it!

I can now safely say that this story is well and truly over. FINALLY!

Cheers.