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Remus stood on the balcony in his bare feet, wearing only his boxers and Sirius' leather jacket as a ward against the cold. He sniffed once, scratching at his eyes as they began to itch, something dark bubbling in his chest as he surveyed the city below him. It wasn't that he disliked Muggle London, he just wished he'd had a choice in coming here, is all. He stole a glance at the ashtray, sitting quietly on the windowsill, wondering if Sirius would mind him having one. He sighed silently, running tired fingers through his hair and looking back at the city. Even at 4am, there were a few people staggering back and forth, unaware of the power that lived amongst them. This thought had him staring at the moon, features twisting into a silent snarl as he thought of its hold on his life, and the events of the past few days.
"GET OUT!", she screamed, hurling a plate at his head when he stepped towards her, her voice dripping with fear and naked hatred in her eyes, eyes which had held nothing but love only the day before, ,"OUT! You filthy BEAST! I can't believe I was living with a.. A monster!" He had fled, taking no possessions with him, bar his wand and the clothes on his back. Two days later he turned up at Sirius' flat, pitifully asking for somewhere to sleep.
He shook himself out of this dark reverie when the drop from the balcony began to look a little too appealing and glanced back at the ashtray. Surely he wouldn't mind, it had been a tough week, what with the full moon and losing his girlfriend.. A few shuddering breaths later, he wiped the tears from his eyes and slid down onto the floor, back against the balcony door so that he could look out over the horizon through the balcony fence. This wasn't the first time he'd lost a partner due to his Furry Little Problem, as the guys called it, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, but.. Maybe it would be. There was a reason werewolves lived alone amongst humans, nobody would form a functional relationship with one, and why should they? They were a constant threat, not just during the full moon, nobody should be subjected to that fear every single day.
He let his eyes wander over the indigo sky as a few lonely strands of light tried to creep through, picking at a loose thread on his boxers as he imagined the day ahead. He would have to tell Sirius why he was here, even though he probably already knew, and he would have to ask how long he could stay for. He allowed himself to entertain the notion that Sirius might just ask him to move in again, he'd tried hard enough before they all left Hogwarts after all. He leaned his head against the glass door and popped the jacket's collar, letting Sirius' scent seep into his nose and bring him into a state of relaxation, just for a few minutes..
Oh. The sky was almost completely lilac, when had that happened? He must have dozed off at some point, or was lost in his own idiot thoughts again. No matter, he guessed it was only about 5.30am, Sirius would be asleep for hours yet, most likely.
Hauling himself up from the floor, he stretched his arms out to pop his spine and force the blood back into his muscles, sparing himself a final glance at that devious ashtray.
"Fine", he whispered, shooting daggers at the inoffensive object, "but if I get in trouble, I'm blaming you"
He fished the packet and lighter from the jacket pocket and extracted a cigarette with fumbling fingers, putting the packet away again. Hands trembling, he couldn't seem to light it, the flame kept snuffing out just as he got it to the cigarette.
"Are you for real, Moony?" a voice grumbled from behind him, startling him so much he dropped the lighter. Heaving a sigh, he stooped to pick up the lighter and straightened up again, leaning against the balcony wall and looking at Sirius.
"Well, as much as the Muggles seem to think I'm a mythical creature, Pads, I am, in fact, real", he replied seriously, staring his friend straight in the eyes as he attempted to light the cigarette again.
"Funny", Sirius snorted, dipping his hand into the pocket and fishing out the packet, taking out his own cigarette, "Wearing my jacket, smoking my cigs in the middle of the night, you could pass for my dearly beloved, Moony", he finished by lighting both cigarettes and pocketing the lighter, leaning over the balcony and watching the city streets.
The dawn sky held a few remaining stars, faintly glittering as the sun gradually burned through them. The nocturnal stragglers had long since vacated the streets and the early risers were yet to rise, leaving the streets around them blissfully empty. Remus' chest tightened sadly as his friend's words sliced into him, knowing they were a playful joke.. He knew Sirius didn't think of him in that sense, only loved him platonically, he knew that he would never be somebody's dearly beloved either, that he would always be held at arm's length lest he tear their throat out.
He took the step forward and leaned over the balcony, elbow resting against Sirius', his throat itched terribly and he felt queasy whenever he looked down at the ground.
Sirius knew something was very wrong with Remus, he could feel it in his gut just like he knew that asking about it would cause him to clam up, ice him out, which hurt but he knew it was how Remus protected himself. Well, tried to protect himself, anyway. So he leaned over London and blew disastrous smoke rings, letting his elbow rub against Remus' to remind him that he was there, and that he would wait.
In fact, he got so caught up with trying to blow smoke rings that he almost missed his friend's cold whisper, "She kicked me out, Sirius" and it took him a few minutes to process the information.
Marianne kicked him out? That couldn't be right, could it? There's no possibility that those are the words Remus uttered, surely? They had been together for 6 months, Moony's longest relationship ever, and she'd known about the Furry Little Problem, she'd bloody known!
"So what changed?" he asked quietly, watching Remus from the corner of his eye, needing desperately to console him, to hold him, but Remus didn't like to be coddled. This small fact pissed Sirius off endlessly, of course.
Remus was shaking slightly now as he shrugged, nibbling at his lower lip before gently leaning his head on Sirius' shoulder, "She saw..", he choked back a sob that tore at Sirius' heart, "She saw me change back from the.. The wolf", his entire body had started trembling by this point and Sirius couldn't handle it anymore, he threw his cigarette down and gathered the wiry werewolf in his arms, one clasped firmly around his shoulders and the other round his waist, stroking softly down his back as he spoke.
"She knew what you were, Remus, she knew all along. I'm not gonna tell you not to hurt, but I am telling you it's not your fault. You never hid this from her, you told her everything. She decided she couldn't hack it when it became real, that's her cross to bear, not yours", he was whispering desperately in Remus' ear, burning as he felt the body pressed against his, trying his hardest to protect his friend.
Remus gasped loudly, one minute he was spilling his heart and the next he was wrapped up against Sirius' chest, and just how the bloody hell had that happened? But.. He couldn't find it in him to care, not at 6am in Muggle London, wearing his best friend's leather jacket and a pair of boxers, being cuddled by said best friend. Not when that best friend was whispering the kindest, sweetest words he'd ever heard before. So he didn't care, he really didn't. He would deal with these messy emotions during the day, when business was done. Right now, in this sweet, silent hour, he would let his best friend hold him, and protect him from all the people who wanted to hurt him and he would let himself be happy for just this moment.