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Lucifer tilted his head as he watched Chloe with her daughter. She seemed her usual self, but Lucifer wasn’t sure why she would look at him like she was. Whenever her eyes met his, her smile would drop a little at the corners and her eyes wouldn’t be as bright. Of course, there were times when she would look at him like she used to, before she knew. Her eyes on him, bright and shining with happiness and something else, her smile almost splitting her face in half… He loved her when she was like that. When she would forget what troubled her and just be with him.
She had been smiling at him like that all night, until suddenly she wasn’t any more. She looked apprehensive.
There was a lot they needed to talk about. Her being a miracle, being one of those things. There were so many other things they needed to talk about, but they had both been so busy… Her more than him. They hadn’t had much time as a couple, and that was alright, he’d take any time with her that he could get. But it was… he’d like to take her to dinner. Or make it for her. He just wanted… Linda would call it ‘quality time’, with the Detective.
So he had asked both Daniel and Maze if they were available to watch the urchin. Daniel had grumbled but he had agreed, not for him, he’d made clear, but for Chloe. Lucifer was just glad that he could finally take the Detective on a date.
He’d planned everything. Just a quiet night in, nothing overly fancy for dinner and a bottle of Chloe’s favorite wine (rather, her favorite vintage from his wine cellar at Lux). No urchin, no phone calls, just him and his Detective (if she would allow him the privilege of calling her so).
He had asked her if he could make her dinner and she had told him yes, but he hadn’t told her when he wanted to do so. He didn’t make anything fancy, just a simple veggie alfredo and some garlic bread. He set the table and made sure the lighting was perfect. He was putting some flowers in a vase when the Detective walked through the door. She saw the table first, but when she caught sight of him, her face softened from surprise to something else. Something fond. “So this is why you left early,” she said setting her things down and taking off her gun.
“I just… I wanted it to be a surprise…” he said, looking away from her.
She softened and walked up to him, her arms winding around his neck. “Thank you, Lucifer,” she told him, her voice soft and filled with affection, “I love it…”
And that had sounded like whenever she told him that she loved him (it made him feel warm and loved and all manner of things that he thought he didn’t deserve, but he was going to try…). “Good,” he said, equally soft. “I… I hope you don’t mind, but I… I asked Daniel to keep the urchin for the night.”
Chloe nodded, and bit her lip before replying, half playful and half something else, something insecure. “Hoping for that kind of night, huh?”
“Only if you are, darling,” he said, more serious than he’d been in a while. “I’d never…” He cleared his throat. “This is for you, Chloe… anything you’d like to do tonight we will, but only that. Nothing more.” He held out her chair for her and made sure she was comfortable. “I’d like you to… I want you to feel safe with me, Detective. I know that because of what I am, it’s difficult and I certainly don’t blame you, darling, but I-”
Chloe cut him off, her brow furrowed. “Lucifer, I do feel safe with you…”
Lucifer took a moment to process that information. “Then why…” but then he backtracked. “Never mind, darling… Forget I said anything…” He served up the food and poured the wine, wanting to make sure that everything was perfect. But she was still staring at him, her eyes narrowed.
“Lucifer…” was all she had to say.
He sighed, shifting the food around on his plate. “I just… Sometimes you look at me and it’s… it’s like you’re not… like your worried about something, something that I might…” He sighed in frustration and looked down at his lap. “It’s not… Sorry for bringing it up, darling, I didn’t mean to ruin the night…”
Chloe stared at him for a long moment. “Lucifer… it’s not… it’s not you, okay?” she told him. His eyes flew up to hers, and he couldn’t help the anxiety that she could probably see in his gaze. “Its…” she took a deep breath and put down her fork, reaching for his hand. He gave it to her freely, everything he was belonged to her after all. “It’s just… You’re so big, Lucifer… you’ve lived for the longest time and I’m… I’m just me…”
Lucifer stared at her in shock. “Chloe… don’t you know?”
She shook her head, “What?”
“You… you’re everything, darling! You’re the only piece of me I don’t- You, Chloe Decker, are the most remarkable woman that I have ever encountered… I… You’re the miracle, darling, I’m just the Devil,” he managed, almost desperate for her to know.
“Miracle?” Chloe asked.
Lucifer froze for a moment. “Yes,” he said. “Amenadiel blessed your mother so that she could conceive you. It was the last thing that Father asked him to do before he stopped… stopped answering us- them.”
“My mother…” she said, her brow furrowing.
The fingers of Lucifer’s free hand twitched nervously. He shouldn’t have said anything. “I…” he took a deep breath and let it out as a long sigh. “I’m making a mess of things and we’ve barely even started… I’m terribly sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to ruin a good night…”
“No, Lucifer, you- you didn’t, I’m just…” she finally looked at him. “I’m sorry you thought I didn’t think I was safe with you…”
“No, it’s- it’s alright, I’m still… adjusting to humans… I’ll be more careful in the future…”
“No, Lucifer, really, I feel safe with you,” she told him, insistent. She caught his eye and squeezed his hand. She wouldn’t let go and he was grateful for the support, but he just… he didn’t know if he could believe her. “I just… sometimes I think about how you’re who you are and I’m just me… I’m nobody… but I guess… maybe I am a miracle, but I don’t feel like one… and… I just don’t see how I could ever measure up to someone like you. We must seem so small compared to you…”
Lucifer’s muscles loosened as he listened. How could she even begin to think something like that? “Chloe…” he started, stalling for a moment. “Chloe, to me… you are the most… You make me better, darling, you’ve… You’ve changed me, in ways that I never thought I needed…” He clutched both of her hands in his. “All I want is to be with you, darling…”
“That’s… you don’t think that we’re…?” she started, but he shook his head at a loss for what she could possibly mean. “I don’t know how to explain it,” she sighed. “It’s just… all this time… I’ve never… it seems like whenever I get involved with someone… Pierce told me I wasn’t worth it… and you… you left twice…” She pulled away from him and looked down at her lap.
Lucifer stood, and then knelt in front of her. “Well, darling, Pierce was and will always be a dullard,” he told her. He brought a hand up to her face, caressing her cheek gently, bringing her eyes to his, but only for a moment. “As for me… Well, I’ve never been the sharpest Devil… I… and I’ll try to make it up to you, darling… but I would like to tell you… You are worth everything to me. I’ve given up more than you know, just so that you were safe, Chloe…” His hand fell to her knee as her eyes left her lap and hit his. “Chloe, darling, I’d give anything to keep you safe… and I am… I do regret leaving, both times, but I… I had just found out about you being a miracle. And you know why I had to leave the last time…”
Chloe scoffed. “You could’ve stayed…”
“I couldn’t risk your or my nephew’s safety, darling,” he told her, pulling away. He knew that she… and she was right to hate him, of course, he had left her… “I know that you… and I deserve that, I do… but, darling, it tore me half to leave you…” he clenched his hands where they rested in her lap, her hands covering them. They were the only things keeping him in place (he thought that maybe, she would yell at him, that she was unhappy being with him and, finally, she would tell him that and he… he would… what point would there be in him staying if it would make it easier for Chloe Decker when he was gone?).
“It tore me in half when you left…” she told him, placing one of her hands on the side of his face. “I know that you… that you thought you had to, Lucifer, but we could have done it together… And I- I’m not mad at you for leaving, not anymore, but…”
Lucifer looked up at her, holding her hand to his face. “But I left…”
“Yeah, and I… it just feels like you didn’t want to try, you just…” Chloe sighed and finally looked away. “You left me like everyone else has…”
“I’ll… I won’t leave again, darling, I promise,” he told her, and her eyes snapped back to his. “I give you my word, and you know I’ll never break that…” He huffed out a pathetic chuckle and said, “It’s the only thing about me anyone can trust…”
“Lucifer…” she sighed. She leaned forwards and rested her forehead against his. “I do trust you, I do… it’s just… you have to show me that you’ll stay, and I have no idea how long that will take…”
“Not even the four horsemen could drag me away from you, darling,” he sighed, closing his eyes because she was nuzzling her nose along the side of his.
“So, there’s really a whole plan for the apocalypse?”
“Detective…”
“I know its not date night talk Lucifer, but you did bring it up…”
“Only to prove my point about never leaving you, darling,” he sighed again, but pulled away so he could look her in the eye. “I don’t believe I would ever recover if I were forced to leave you like that again…”
“Aw, babe,” Chloe sighed, finally, finally pulling his face to hers for a kiss. Their lips were soft against each other’s, barley a caress, and more of a reassurance that they would always be there for one another. When she pulled away, she said, her voice teasing, “We’ll have to make sure it never happens again, I guess…”
“How exactly would you do that, Detective?” he purred, voice like velvet and sin.
Chloe grinned, “I can think of a few ways…” And then she kissed, him, this time with more tongue and her hands in his hair.
“Your dinner will get cold, darling…”
“Lucifer, I don’t care about food right now.”
“Oh! I never knew we were so alike, Detective!”
“Shut up!”
He only stopped talking long enough for her to kiss him again, and well, for her to do all manner of things to him too. And for him to do things to her, too, all manner of those as well. This wasn’t exactly what he’d planned for their date, but he didn’t mind the change of plan. He did love spending time with Chloe. And time spent having all manner of things done to oneself was always fun. Though it had never been as intense with anyone else as it was with Chloe.
He hoped it would always be that way.