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"We need a neutral judge," Abby mused. "Any ideas?"
"Ducky?"
"Ew. He's like everyone's father."
"Nikki?"
"Not enough experience."
"Michelle?"
"Too much experience."
"Are you going to shoot down all of my suggestions, Abs?" Tony protested.
"Only the bad ones.”
They went through a whole list of people with Abby shooting all of them down until Tony suggested Vance. Abby paused as she thought about it before nodding decisively. “Vance has the perfect visage for this.”
Tony refrained from asking how Vance’s face was perfect for their kissing contest. He was pretty sure that he didn’t want to know. He hadn’t actually expected Abby to go for Vance given she’d shot down everyone else he suggested.
Things were about to get really interesting. The first rule of the kissing contest was that you couldn’t explain to the judge why he or she was being kissed. The winner would be determined by how long the kiss lasted. In theory, the longer the judge let himself or herself be kissed the better you were at kissing.
Tony couldn’t believe that they were going to be kissing the director. He’d figured that they would be kissing Gibbs at worse. He wasn’t sure how Vance would take the kissing contest.
Gibbs was pretty forgiving about such things so long as they weren’t in the middle of a case. Vance might have their heads though. Still he couldn’t back down from Abby’s bet that she was a better kisser than him. There was no way he was letting her win.
Of course, once the two of them started talking about who the better kisser was; they ended up attracting the rest of the MCRT’s attention. So now McGee, Ziva, and even Gibbs were all part of the competition to find the better kisser. Vance never knew what hit him.
Ziva ended up being the bravest and staged a sneak kiss attack on Vance as he entered his office. Vance spluttered and glared. “What the hell?”
Ziva melted back into the crowd of agents before Vance could recover more of his wits about him. Tony figured that either he or Abby would be next, but McGee surprised him by stealing a kiss when he ended up in the elevator with Vance. After that, Vance grew suspicious and it became even harder to steal kisses.
Still Abby, Tony, and Gibbs hadn’t yet gone. They would have to find a way to kiss Vance before the competition could be completed. Vance locked himself in his office for a while, however, which prevented anyone from kissing him.
Abby set up alerts to tell her when Vance stood up from his computer and she was right there when he exited his office to give him a kiss. Tony was taking his time, though. He was determined to show that he was the best kisser.
Finally, Tony took a chance and brought Vance some coffee to bribe him before pulling him into a kiss. So far all the kisses had lasted similar lengths. They were going to have a really hard time telling who was the winner at this rate.
Or at least that’s what everyone was thinking. They were all shocked when Gibbs pulled Vance into a kiss in the middle of the bullpen. On top of that Gibbs dipped Vance, which guaranteed the kiss lasted at least twice as long as the rest.
Gibbs was absolutely the undisputed winner of the kissing contest. Vance was the one who got the last word in, however. “Gibbs, your team, and Miss Sciuto. Sexual harassment seminar tomorrow. All of you.”
Everyone blanched at that. No one was looking forward to sitting through one of those boring seminars, especially around the holidays. The last thought on everyone’s mind was, “Maybe we should have picked a different judge.”