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Baz pulls into Smurf’s driveway. His nerves are already on edge. It started a little more than an hour ago when Pope first called him to tell him that J didn’t show up for a job meeting. J is also not answering his phone. Not for Deran, Pope, Baz, or even Lena after she texted her brother asking him if he was going to be at her soccer game that afternoon. Sure, J may go radio silent with his uncles and even Baz, but never Lena.
Baz tried to clamp down on the fear that something’s amiss. Telling himself that J overslept. That maybe the nightmares picked up again. That something triggered them. Probably the appearance of fucking Billy and his drugs bringing up bad memories of Julia.
But all that self-reassurance is gone in a rush when he sees an unfamiliar vehicle parked next to J’s truck. His gun is already out when he quietly opens the door.
“Yeah, is she…she okay?” J asks. Fear clearly evident in his son’s pitchy voice.
What the hell is going on? Baz has never heard J sound like that before. Not after they found him after Damien. Or when Javi and his crew broke into Smurf’s house and brutally beating J before taking Nicky with them.
So clearly whatever has happened that caused J to miss the meeting with his uncles has messed up the kid to the point where he sounds like a scared teenager and not the brains behind the Cody family business.
“No, she’s not okay.”
Wait, Baz knows that voice… It’s Commander Paul. Nicky’s dad. But what the fuck is he doing here? Isn’t he stationed in Malaysia or somewhere in the Pacific?
“She’s lost a lot of blood. Nicked her femoral artery. She is fighting for her life in the ICU right now. Found heroin and fentanyl in her system. Are you shooting her up now?!” The commander demands angrily.
Nicky got shot? She’s been doing heroin? What the fuck is going on?
“No, no.” J pleads. Baz can’t help but flinch when he hears his son’s desperate tone. He sounds so young. Like the eighteen year he is. With everything that J has been through, sometimes Baz forgets that he really is just a kid.
“Where did she get the gun?”
“I don’t know,” J replies. Voice still shaky.
“Bullshit!” The commander says. “Is it here or did you already get rid of it?”
Baz gets closer and he can see his son standing by the door. His attention is straight ahead, he has no idea that Baz is there.
“She’s still lying for you. Lying to the police She’s lying to me. Even now she’s trying to protect you. The nurses found her outside bleeding out. Just a piece of shit kid from the projects. Living with his junkie mother.”
Baz moves closer. Waiting to see if J will defend himself from the commander’s cruel words. But he doesn’t and Paul continues on his rampage.
“She felt sorry for you. We all did. But I should have known better. As far as you’re concerned, she’s dead to you. Understand me? You’re the worst thing that ever happened to her. You will never see her again.”
Baz can’t take it anymore. If J is not going to defend himself, Baz will step up. He puts his gun away.
“Commander,” Baz says as he enters the room.
“Oh fucking great,” Paul says as he runs a hand over his chin. “I can’t wait to hear what father of the year has to say.”
Baz turns to J. “Nicky got shot?”
“Yes, she got fucking shot.” Paul answers as he turns to glare at J. “Then someone left her outside of Our Lady of Mercy, bleeding out. This never would have happened if it wasn’t for your piece of shit kid.” Paul accuses, pointing a finger at the teenager.
Baz has to fight back the urge to punch Paul in the face for the shit he’s saying. Shit that J is just taking without defending himself. The only thing that stops him is the thought of what if he was in Paul’s place and it was Lena or J fighting for their life in the ICU.
Baz holds up his hands. “Commander, as a father I can understand how pissed off you are. But you have to calm down.”
“Calm down?!” Paul asks incredulously. “My kid is in the hospital fighting for her life. Where the hell have you been with all this shit has been going on?”
Baz has been dealing with his own shit over the last couple of months. The near fetal hit left him with a long recovery and things are now just starting to get back to normal. Well as normal as things can be when you have a permanent leg injury basically forcing you to retire from the only life you have ever known.
“I can ask you the same thing. You left your underage kid live with her boyfriend’s family as you soaked up another promotion,” Baz says. “I don’t remember seeing you at their graduation. Oh wait, you weren’t there. It was a lovely ceremony. Smurf took lots of pictures. I can get you one.”
Paul shakes his head and picks up a duffle bag from the bed. “You all are pieces of shit. Fuck off,” Paul says as he rushes out of the room.
With Paul gone, Baz moves towards his son. He places a hand on the nape of J’s neck. “Hey, you with me?”
J shakily nods his head, eyes on the ground.
“Nicky got shot?” Baz asks softy as he tries to catch his son’s eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” J replies. His voice is still soft but not as broken as it was when the commander was coming at him earlier.
Baz nods. “I get that you don’t want to talk about it. But why didn’t you call me? You drove Nicky to the hospital? And I bet you cleaned up everything. All without calling me.”
“Didn’t want to bother you,” J says, eyes still looking down.
Baz silently swears. J never wants to bother him or anyone for that matter. Even when shit gets way out of hand. One of Baz’ greatest fears is that the teenager’s inability to ask for help is going to end with J getting hurt one day.
“You’re not bothering me when you ask for help. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that but I’m going to keep doing it until you believe it. Being there for one another is part of being a family.”
Baz knows how his brothers still look at J. How they treat him. Like he doesn’t belong. He believes that’s why J is still so reluctant to go to them for anything. But he thought that he and Lena aren’t like that. That they saw and thought of J as family. Sometimes Baz has his moments, but overall he has stepped up since finding out that he is J’s father.
Then maybe he hasn’t. Not if what happened with Nicky is any indication.
“You’ve been there for Lena and me. Moving in when I was in the hospital and driving me to rehab. Driving Lena to every one of her soccer tournaments. I’m not even going to get started on you giving her your bone marrow. You were in bed for four days after. You were there for us when we needed you?”
J nods. Finally picking his head up.
“So you’re there for us. Let us be there for you. Okay?” Baz says.
J nods his head. “I’ll try.”
Baz smiles. “That’s all I can ask for. Now why don’t you pack a bag. Come stay at my place. I got some stuff that I want you to work on.”
Baz knows the teenager is going to get lost inside his own head if he’s given the opportunity. Baz won’t let that happen. So he’ll keep his son busy with mundane tasks until it’s go time for the job. And if all else fails, he has Lena who will keep J occupied.
J agrees surprisingly fast. Baz thought for sure that he would have to work at it a little more based on past experiences. J agreeing so quickly is a testament to how much this thing with Nicky has shaken him. Or maybe he is finally agreeing to ask for help when he needs it.
“Good, but first we have to stop at Deran’s. He’s a little pissed that you missed the meeting this morning,” Baz says.
“Shit,” J curses. “I totally forgot.”
Baz squeezes his son’s shoulder. “It’s okay. They’ll understand. Shit comes up.”
J doesn’t look so sure, but Baz gives him a reassuring smile. And if they don’t, he’ll set them straight.