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“Did…” Nureyev seems to search for the right way to phrase his next question. Finally he says, “Did your previous partners…not lie with you like this, after a scene?”
Juno’s mind flashes to the smooth plane of Diamond’s back, lit by the slatted window of their apartment. Sometimes they’d clean up, curl up under the covers, and fall asleep before Juno could snap out of his stupor. Other days they’d wait for him at the kitchen table. It was a bit of a ritual: Juno would come down from the high, clean up, and meet them for some tea or a snack.
In the present, Juno shrugs one shoulder. “I mean, uh. No? Maybe a couple times. Why would they?”
Something like fear crosses Nureyev’s face. “Juno. Do you know what aftercare is?”
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Nureyev reaches out, but his fingers stop before they can brush Juno’s skin. He lets his grip settle on the rumpled covers between them. “You never answered my question, darling. Would you like to be alone right now?”
Juno’s not sure why, but his eye starts to sting. He manages a barely-there head-shake.
“All right. What would you like me to do?”
Juno’s not sure when the tremors returned. He keeps his eye trained on Nureyev’s hand. He swallows, and suddenly his throat hurts. “Just…touch me?”
“Of course.” Nureyev shifts closer on the bed. An arm slings back across Juno’s side. “Of course, darling. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now…”
Juno’s not proud of the noise that leaves his throat. He and Nureyev slot together, Nureyev’s chin propped atop his head. That same heat and heartbeat rise up to meet Juno’s fingers. Nureyev pats around until he finds the blankets. He breaks the hug long enough to pull them up and over Juno’s shoulders, then tucks Juno back against his torso. Words skim over Juno’s ear: You did so well, Juno. You were perfect.
Juno shivers. Nureyev hugs him with a love that could shake cities—with a possessiveness that kicks up Juno’s heartbeat. It’s like he means to protect him from something.
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