Chapter Text
They kissed for a long time and Dean basked in Cas’ soft, loving attention. Cas was still touching him, moving his big, warm hands over every inch of Dean, as if he couldn’t believe that Dean was real, that they were here together. Dean had never felt more cherished and the amazed look on Cas’ face really boosted his shriveled ego. Had anyone ever looked at him like this, like he someone precious? Fuck, if Cas didn’t stop being so damn nice he was gonna start blubbering all over him.
The moment was broken by Cas reaching to undo the tie around Dean’s wrists and Dean made a sound like he was getting gutted. He felt so vulnerable, so distant and the thought of not having the grounding feeling of the soft silk around his wrists was terrifying. Cas shushed him, smiling softly, face open and understanding.
“Everything is okay, sweetheart. You are being so good for me. Let me take this off and I’ll hold you with my hands. I want to hold you. I’ll never let go.”
Cas’ voice was heavy with a deep promise and Dean shivered. He never wanted Cas to let go. He nodded, blinking his tears away and offered his wrists to him. Cas gave him an encouraging smile and kissed each wrist over the silk, nuzzling and nipping at the skin around the material. Dean sighed and relaxed, sinking into the bed and squeezing his raised thighs, trapping Cas between his legs.
Cas chuckled and winked at him before slowly working the knot loose. Before Dean could register the loss of the restraint, Cas’ hands replaced it, fingers winding tight and holding him close. He kissed his way from wrist to each knuckle, his plush lips caressing his skin and his warm breath dancing over Dean’s sensitive nerves.
“You are so beautiful, Dean. So handsome and strong, kind and perfect. Perfect for me, baby. I am never letting you go.”
Cas kept murmuring soft praises as he pushed Dean’s hands into the bed next to their hips, pressing firmly and closing his fingers tighter. The pressure, the feeling of being trapped sent lightning over Dean’s body and he groaned, twisting his hands just to feel Cas hold him down tighter. Cas’ breath stuttered and Dean looked up at him, reveling in the wonder and naked want on his face.
“Fuck, Dean. You love this, don’t you? Love being bound for me.”
Dean nodded, throwing his head back with a whine as Cas leaned forward and kissed his way up Dean’s chest and neck, biting gently and licking before kissing Dean, hot and open mouthed, making Dean melt into the sensations. His cock was valiantly twitching, he was too tired still to get hard again so soon but Cas made it easy to want, to need, to feel...to love.
After a moment of getting lost in each other, Cas worked his lips over to Dean’s ear and whispered, voice husky.
“Turn over, sweetheart.”
Feeling weak, too relaxed to coordinate, he let Cas do most of the maneuvering, turning over onto his stomach with a groan. He bunched up the closest pillow, raising his shoulders and neck into a position that took pressure off of his sore muscles. He felt Cas run his hands up and down his back, stopping to knead his gluteal muscles a moment before spreading his cheeks.
Cas moaned and murmured his name, voice reverent as he ran his thumbs up and down his crack, so close to touching. Dean shifted, trying to press into the feeling, to urge Cas to touch but Cas backed off, running his hands back over Dean’s back, palming his softened muscles.
“Dean, my Dean. So gorgeous, baby.”
Dean hummed, feeling warm and safe, trusting Cas like he had no other. Cas pressed kisses over the skin of his back before reaching, his hips leaving Dean’s thighs for a moment and then returning. Dean distantly heard the sound of Cas pumping lotion and then his hands were back, softly massaging his lower back and slowly working their way up. Dean let out a loud, scandalous groan.
“Shit, Cas. A massage? Don’t tell me you can bake a pie, too. I’d have to insist we get married immediately.”
Cas let out that little giggle, making warmth spread through Dean’s chest.
“I will give you a massage every night and bake you a pie every weekend if that is what it takes to keep you, Dean.”
Dean chuckled and then groaned again as Cas started working a sore muscles near his neck.
“Sounds good to me, Cas. I ain’t that hard to keep happy.”
Cas hummed and kept his hands moving, the pressure just right on Dean’s back and neck, not too hard and not too soft. By the end of it, minutes, hours later, Dean couldn’t tell, all he knew was that he was a worn out puddle, body singing and humming in contentment. Cas pressed a kiss on the back of Dean’s head and ran his nails gently through his hair, making Dean sigh.
“How does a bath sound, baby?”
“Fuck, yeah, Cas. Bathe me so hard, daddy.”
Cas choked, jostling Dean as he laughed and Dean grinned, keeping his eyes shut, his body relaxed.
“Not my fetish, Dean.”
“Aw, shucks. That’s okay, Cas. Nobody’s perfect.”
Cas chuckled and kissed Dean’s head again before getting off the bed. Dean stayed where he was, tracking the faint sounds of Cas opening the bathroom door, running the water and opening more than one drawer and cabinet. Dean drifted, dozing on and off until Cas came back and helped him roll out of bed. He swayed on his feet, laughing and leaning on Cas and blinking his eyes in the harsh lights of the bathroom.
Cas urged him towards the bath but Dean balked, turning to tug at Cas’ loose shirt, the undone top buttons making it hang to one side, almost off his left shoulder.
“You’re coming in too, right?”
Cas swallowed heavily as Dean kissed his exposed skin and popped the rest of the buttons open. He shrugged off the shirt, helping Dean undress him, kicking his pants off and away once Dean undid the zipper. After they were both naked, Dean took a moment to take Cas in.
He was so gorgeous, all sharp lines and toned muscles, a runner’s body and the lightest dusting of hair on his chest and stomach. His thighs were tight, slim and they framed his flaccid cock beautifully, balls hanging heavy, making Dean a little light headed. He wanted Cas so much, wanted to worship him every day, keep him close until they were old and dying. His chest squeezed and he kissed Cas chastely on the lips before turning back to the tub.
The warm water lapped around his hips as he sat down, threatening to overflow. He chuckled and then groaned, leaning back and relaxing into the steaming bath.
“Man, I don’t do this enough. Feels so good, Cas.”
Cas hummed, giving him a pleased smile and plucked up something off the counter. He held it out on his palm for Dean to see and Dean raised an incredulous eyebrow at the dark blue bath bomb.
“You carry that in your pocket, Cas?”
Cas rolled his eyes before turning his hand over, dropping it into the water between Dean’s legs. It fizzed as it sank and a pretty blue cloud started to spread.
“I found it in the back of your hall closet. You deserve more decadence in your life, Dean.”
Dean gave Cas a crooked smile, feeling his cheeks blush, a warmth settling in his chest every time Cas did something to take care of him or made him feel good. Cas crouched down beside the tub, reaching over to grab a washcloth off the counter. He kissed Dean on the temple before pushing him to lay back, dipping the cloth into the water and applying soap to it.
Dean closed his eyes as Cas washed him, shoulder to fingers, his neck, down his chest and abdomen. He soaked in Cas’ generous touch, like a lizard in the sun, breathing in deep the scent of vanilla and lavender. It didn’t take long for arousal to start building again, a slow simmer that spread over his body and settled in his heart and loins. His body was pleasurably lax, his mind drifting in a cloud and he slit open his eyes just enough to watch Cas as he worked, haloed by the lights above the sink.
He looked so rumpled and soft like this, worshiping Dean, taking care of him like no one had ever thought to, had never wanted to. Dean was so damn lucky to have met Cas, to have drawn his eye, touched his heart. Fuck, he wanted Cas for more than just tonight. It seemed unlikely that Cas would stick around for very long after he came to really know Dean, know his flaws and his limitations, physical and emotional. He was choking up now, spiraling in his thoughts and he whined, tugging at Cas’ arm.
“You promised to join me, Sir.”
Cas tsked at him, ringing out the cloth and setting it down before running a wet hand through Dean’s hair.
“My baby needs me?”
Dean nodded, pushing down the urge to cry, blinking tears from his eyes. Why did this always happen to him? He was so damn needy.
Cas shushed him, standing up and Dean moved forward in the bath, still tugging on Cas, staring at his half hard cock with wide eyes. Cas hadn’t been kidding, he got off on taking care of Dean like this and some of the dark insecurities floating in his head vanished. Cas liked that he was needy, that he clung to his dom, seeking comfort and reassurance.
Cas carefully entered the bath, squishing himself behind Dean and gently maneuvering them both until they were comfortable. Dean hummed and leaned back against him, running his palms up and down Cas’ thighs. Cas gathered Dean in his arms and buried his face in Dean’s neck, pressing soft kisses before nipping playfully. Dean pressed back into Cas’ chest, tilting his head to give him more room.
His cock was hard now, aching in response to the soft caresses. He rocked his hips, closing his eyes, grinding back on the obvious feeling of Cas’ own cock, sitting hot and hard against his lower back. Cas’ breath stuttered and he pressed into Dean, rocking forward, arms around Dean’s chest, holding him close, breath ghosting across Dean’s neck. Their movements were languid and Dean’s arousal stayed at a pleasant simmer, enjoying the way his body fit against Cas’ as they chased completion.
He came quickly, writhing and grinding as Cas whispered heavenly sentiments into his ear between gentle kisses.
“So good for me, sweetheart. So beautiful and all mine. Come for me, Dean…”
Cas followed soon after, palming every inch of Dean, his toned chest, his soft stomach, his open thighs. They stayed in the bath a few moments longer, washing each other and exchanging lazy kisses. After the third time Dean jerked, fighting his exhausted body to stay awake a little longer, to enjoy this moment as long as he could, Cas chuckled and pulled the chain to the drain stopper with his toes.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you tucked back into bed and when you wake up, there will be pancakes and coffee waiting.”
Dean let Cas dry him with his fluffiest towel and guide him back to bed. They held each other close and drifted into sleep.
***
The other side of the bed was empty when Dean woke up and the sun streaming in through the windows highlighted his absence. That empty sight and the coldness of the sheets under his hand caused his chest to constrict with a dark, sad disappointment. He rose out of bed reluctantly and entered the bathroom to brush his teeth, rubbing his sore neck before rolling it a few times.
Fuck, what had he expected? A man like Cas, so smart, so caring and scorchingly attractive...why would he stick around for someone like Dean? Dean, a college dropout, dealing with chronic depression and more insecurities than he could count. Cas probably took a better look around his house, saw Dean in broad daylight, took a moment to reflect and left in a hurry.
Pushing back the tears in his eyes, Dean went back into his bedroom, looking around for any sign of last night, that Cas had been here at all. There was nothing, of course, and Dean swallowed thickly at the thought that maybe he had dreamed up everything. He tugged on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and stood in the middle of the room, running a slow hand through his hair, wishing it were Cas’.
A loud clatter and a muffled curse startled Dean out of his thoughts, coming from behind the closed bedroom door. Dean frowned, crossing the room in three large steps to grab his phone off the dresser before opening the door wide. The smell of bacon wafted over him and he took a deep breath, hope rising swiftly in his chest as he hurried to the kitchen.
Cas was there, in only his briefs and Dean bit his lip, hiding a smile as he leaned casually in the doorway, watching with eager eyes the shift of muscle under smooth skin. Cas looked a little overwhelmed as he cooked, stirring scrambled eggs, flipping frying bacon and shoving bread into the toaster.
He watched Cas fumble with the fancy coffee machine, only the best for Dean’s caffeine addiction, before creeping up and winding his arms around Cas’ waist. He tensed and then went limp, leaning back into Dean’s arms with a sigh, head falling to Dean’s shoulder. Dean buried his face in Cas’ wild, untamed hair and didn’t hold back a smile, pressing it against Cas’ scalp.
“Good morning, Dean. I had planned to have this done before you woke but I admit I am a little overwhelmed. It has been a long time since I cooked for a partner. I hope you like burnt bacon.”
Cas nudged the tongs at the plate of bacon sitting on the counter with a listless air. Dean chuckled, feeling light with happiness and reached around Cas to snag a piece. He popped it in his mouth and chewed with a loud moan as Cas turned in his arms. Cas rolled his eyes, leaning forward for a kiss, running his tongue over Dean’s lip to taste the grease left behind. Dean hummed, trying to chase Cas’ lips, to steal a few more kisses but Cas laughed, pushing him back to turn back to the stove.
“Behave, Dean. You need food and I am going to give it to you. So sit down and hydrate for me.”
Dean grinned and pressed a lingering kiss to Cas’ nape, running his hands over his back as he stepped away.
“Yes, Sir.”
He sat at the kitchen table and reached for the full glass of water, drinking it down quickly. Cas watched him from the corner of his eye as he plated the eggs and toast, looking pleased and smug.
“Good boy.”
Damn, that deep, gravel tone never failed to make Dean shiver, bumps raising on the back of his neck, gut clenching in hot arousal. Fuck, he wanted to be good for Cas. It felt so right, made him feel so damn wanted and desired. This dynamic, the give and take, the push and surrender was addictive but no one had ever done it for Dean quite like Cas.
“Looks good, Cas. Love a man that can cook.”
Cas blushed at that and Dean grinned again, feeling like his face was going to crack in two with all the smiling he was doing today. One night, one good night where all of his needs, emotional and physical were met and suddenly the future looked a little brighter. Cas sat across from him at the table and lifted his knife to butter the toast, his lips quirked, giving Dean a shy glance from under his lashes.
“I am glad to have pleased you, Dean. Now be good for me and open your mouth.”
Dean went still, confused until Cas speared the eggs on his plate with a fork and offered it. Dean obeyed, taking the offering and chewing slowly. No one had ever fed him like this before, he wanted to savor it.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Look at you being so good for me. How does it taste?”
Dean ducked his head, unable to keep facing Cas’ dark, hooded gaze. It felt like Cas could see through him, to the heart of him with those eyes. Dean felt laid bare but he wasn’t scared, he knew Cas wouldn’t judge him, would only hold him close. He hummed and hooked their ankles together under the table, making Cas smile.
They ate in silence for a few moments, Cas feeding Dean occasionally, his eyes soaking in every move that Dean made, as if to reassure himself that Dean was real. It was nice, the intense, almost obsessive regard that Cas paid him.
He felt like the center of Cas’ world and that heady thought made his pulse race in pleasure and anxiety. Maybe he was reading too much into this, into last night. Maybe Cas just wanted to keep this casual, contained to the bedroom and behind closed doors. It was Cas that broke the tension between them, that overhanging fear of the unknown, an uncertain future. He cleared his throat and shifted nervously, snapping Dean out of his head.
“I do not want to make assumptions, Dean but...I feel like there is something significant between us, a potential for something amazing, something great.”
He trailed off, giving Dean a vulnerable look, falling silent at whatever he saw on Dean’s face. Dean’s breath caught and his heart tried to pound out of his chest.
“Jesus, Cas. That’s the sweetest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me.”
He reached blindly forward, fumbling for Cas’ hand, reluctant to break their gaze. Cas’ smile was radiant, eyes crinkling endearingly with the smallest hint of tears. He grasped at Dean’s hand like a lifeline, entwining their fingers and squeezing gently. Dean took a deep breath and forced his mind into order, wrestling with his emotions, fighting to push out words that were worthy of Cas.
“I’m not good at this whole...emotions stuff but...Fuck, Cas. The way you make me feel, it’s-”
He shook his head, feeling helpless, words stuttering. Cas rose from his seat and rounded the table to kneel before him, never breaking the grip their hands had. Dean spread his thighs to make room and sighed, leaning into Cas’ hand when he cupped Dean’s face. His thumb brushed over his cheek, the soft, hypnotizing motion grounding Dean, making his mind go quiet, thoughts slowing to a manageable crawl.
Cas’ face was understanding and he stayed quiet, patient as Dean closed his eyes for a moment. He felt Cas press a kiss to his brow and opened his eyes again. He was so fucking perfect and Dean couldn’t fuck this up, he couldn’t push this away and forget about it in a day, a week, a year. Cas was it for him, he could feel it deep in his soul, no matter how crazy it sounded or how fast it seemed.
“Cas, I want this, us, I want you, fuck, everything, I-”
He was trembling now, reaching to grab onto Cas, clutching desperately at his naked biceps. Cas shushed him, eyes so understanding that it made Dean’s heart ache.
“I understand and I feel the same way, sweetheart. You have me, Dean, for as long as you want me.”
Dean huffed, feeling Cas’ arms come around him, holding him tight. He kissed Cas, slow and sweet, lingering as long as he could, breathing in his scent and feeling his warmth.
“Don’t say that, Cas. I’ll never let you go.”
Cas touched their foreheads together, eyes damp but glowing with a deep content.
“I never want you to let me go, baby. Say you will keep me…”
The dream like moment was interrupted by his phone going off, chiming loudly and vibrating against the table. Dean blinked a few times as Cas leaned back so he could grab it, intending to silence it and get back to what was important: Cas. He checked the caller ID and scoffed, rolling his eyes before grinning down at Cas’ raised eyebrow.
“It’s Garth, the guy I was gonna meet last night at the club. I should…”
Before he could finish, Cas’ expression went blank and he rose, leaning over the table to start gathering their empty plates. He didn’t look at Dean when he spoke.
“Of course, Dean. I will start cleaning up.”
“Uh, sure, okay…”
Brushing off Cas’ sudden change in attitude and his own unease, Dean went into the living room, swiping to answer the call before it went to voicemail.
“This is Dean.”
Garth’s voice answered, his words tumbling out of his mouth like rushing water over rocks.
“Heeey, Dean! Okay, okay, I know you’re probably, like, super mad at me for last night but I swear I have a good excuse! I promise I’m not some mega douche that would stand a guy up-”
Dean laughed, pacing over to the window and looking out at the sedate street, watching the small neighborhood wake up.
“Whoa, whoa, buddy, slow down. Take a breath, man. I’m not mad at you.”
“Oh, really? I mean, I would totally understand if you were or if you wanted to never speak to me again but I wanted to explain…”
“Dude, seriously, I’m okay. In fact, I, uh, met someone at the club last night.”
Garth gasped loudly.
“What, that’s awesome! Oh, shit, am I interrupting?”
Dean couldn’t help his grin, listening with half his attention as Cas started washing the dishes in the kitchen. He pressed his head against the cool glass, feeling tranquil.
“Nah, we were just having breakfast. Cas made it.”
“Cas?”
“Yeah, his name’s Castiel.”
“Whoa, weird name and he stayed for breakfast? Look at you, hot stuff! Hey, wait, I wonder if he knows Gadreel. They both have crazy cool names.”
Dean frowned, shaking his head at Garth’s never ending enthusiasm.
“Who?”
“Oh, uh, well, last night I got into a car accident. Some drunk guy ran a red light and smashed my car to all hell.”
“Fuck, man. I’m so sorry, why didn’t you call me? I would have come.”
“Well, between the wreck, the jaws of life and the ambulance, I lost my phone. I’m so sorry I didn’t call. I feel like shit for standing you up.”
“Shut up, dude. We’re cool. Are you in the hospital?”
“Nah, they let me go early this morning. But, dude, my man, my bro, the hottest, most earth shatteringly gorgeous EMT rescued me. Like this towering, uniform wearing, handsome ass fucker pulled me from my car. I just wish he had given me mouth to mouth, ya know. Wait, is this awkward?”
Dean laughed loudly, clutching at his phone tightly. He felt relief at hearing Garth’s rambling, glad that the other man wasn’t an ass, glad that maybe out of this he had made a friend.
“No, Garth. I want to hear all about your sexy EMT so I can tell you all about my sexy college professor.”
Garth’s laugh was carefree, loud and unapologetic.
“Nice, well maybe we could do a double date after I charm Gadreel into my bed. I have a three week plan so I’ll keep you posted, okay?”
“Okay, Garth. I gotta go, Cas is waiting. And good luck.”
He hung up and returned to the kitchen, cursing even those few moments not spent with Cas. Cas was at the sink still, broad back facing Dean and he didn’t hesitate to close the distance between them, hugging him from behind again, hooking his chin over Cas’ shoulder.
Cas tensed up again but this time he didn’t melt into Dean’s embrace. Instead, he kept his posture rigid, movements erratic. Dean frowned and dropped his arms, coming to stand beside Cas, ducking his head to see Cas’ face. His expression was blank, revealing nothing of his mind and Dean bit his lip, voice low and trembling, betraying plainly his hurt.
“Cas? Did I do something wrong?”
Cas dropped the plate in his hand with a sigh and they both watched it sink into the water. He closed his eyes and braced himself on the sink, soap suds clinging to his forearms. Something hot and ugly twisted in Dean’s chest and he moved back, meaning to pull away, give Cas some space, heart starting to break, doubts clouding his mind. Cas stopped him before he moved very far, reaching out and grabbing his arm with a firm grip. Dean froze and met Cas’ eyes, refusing to look away, head swimming with confusion and pain.
“Forgive me, Dean. My behavior has nothing to do with you.”
“Right, the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.”
Dean snorted and pulled his arm, trying to break Cas’ iron hold but Cas moved closer, both hands holding him still now. Dean gave up trying to break free, his shoulders slumping in defeat, preparing for the worst. How had this gone so wrong, so quickly? Where had he fucked up? Cas pursed his lips, frowning and looking frustrated.
“No, no, Dean, not like that. I suppose I was a little...insecure just now.”
He looked ashamed, face forlorn and raised his hands up to hold Dean’s face, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. It seemed to soothe Cas as much as Dean. Dean shook his head, feeling lost.
“You’re saying what, that you were jealous of Garth?”
Cas sighed and looked to the side, blushing lightly. Dean chuckled and raised his hands, encircling Cas’ wrists with his fingers. The touch made Cas turn back to him, looking cautiously hopeful.
“I’ll say this once or a hundred times, for the rest of our lives if you need me to, Cas: There is no one else for me but you. No one has ever made me feel the way that you do, I’m half in love with you already. I hope that’s okay?”
Cas’ focus was intense, looking at Dean awestruck before his face went darker, almost feral with a possessive glint in his eyes. One of his hands dropped to Dean’s nape, squeezing and pulling him closer for a head spinning kiss full of more teeth than tongue. His other hand pushed under Dean’s shirt to map every inch of his back, nails digging sporadically, making Dean shake with anticipation of the next harsh bite against his skin.
Dean whined, pressing closer, letting Cas devour him, wishing he could sink into Cas, make them one entity forever. Cas pulled back, gasping for air right along with Dean, both of them grinning stupidly.
“You said you were bad at expressing your emotions, sweetheart. That was an amazing first attempt.”
Dean shrugged, blushing under the praise and the tender look in Cas’ eyes.
“You make it easy, Cas. You make me want to be better at this whole relationship thing. I’d hate to lose you. I’d like to keep you, always.”
The look on Cas’ face was nothing short of transcendent and he took Dean’s wrists in his hands, pressing kisses to the faint red line on each one before nibbling softly, keeping Dean’s gaze. Dean moaned low at the feeling, at the reminder of Cas’ tie holding him still, the delicious tug of the silk when he moved.
He missed the feel of it with a soul deep ache and Cas seemed to sense it because his long fingers circled around his wrists, holding him in a firm grip. Dean bit his lip as Cas smirked at him, smug and pleased and so damn sexy that Dean felt like he had been set on fire with how much he burned for Cas’ everything; his touch, his smile, his lips, his hands, his dominance, his love.
“If you are mine, then I am yours, Dean. Maybe we need something to remind us of that.”
Dean cleared his throat, forcing his eyes up from their hands.
“What did you have in mind, Sir?”
“I could buy you a nice set of wrist cuffs? Or...a collar? You could wear a collar at home for me, whenever you wanted to or the cuffs, around your beautiful, delicate wrists, under your shirt while I’m at work. That way, you will always feel me, Dean. You can look at them, feel them against your skin and know that no matter how far apart we are, that you will always belong to me, you will always be mine.”
Dean groaned and pressed close to Cas, hiding his face in his neck, feeling flayed open, vulnerable, heart bursting with love and hope.
“Fuck, Sir, you’re gonna kill me, talking like that.”
“No, my Dean. I’m going to take care of you from now on. Keep you forever and never let you go.”
Cas chuckled and pushed Dean back, smiling wickedly before pressing gentle kisses to his forehead and each eyelid. Dean took in a deep, shaking breath, loving the feel of Cas’ hands on him, feeling safe, wanted, surrounded and completely cherished.