Work Text:
Ren really didn’t like waking up to an empty bed.
He couldn’t even force himself to open his eyes for a moment, listening instead. He could feel himself breathe out in relief the second he recognized the sounds of the TV, alongside with soft footsteps, and simply sounds that could be heard in every house inhabited by more than one person.
Gathering the blanket around himself, Ren got up from the bed and left the room, in search of the other resident of that place. He didn’t have to look far, finding him on the couch in their living room, sipping that horrible instant coffee because he still couldn’t make a decent cup himself.
“Oh, look who’s finally awake,” Goro said as a greeting, but Ren didn’t bother with one and simply flopped down onto the couch next to him, leaning against his side. Goro seemed a little surprised, but soon relaxed again. “...is everything alright?”
“Perfectly alright,” Ren replied, smiling to himself and resting his chin on Goro’s shoulder. Yes, it was all fine. Everything was how it should be, where it should be. “...I’m glad you’re here, you know?”
“You’re weird sometimes. We’re literally living together." Goro let out a short laugh, resting his head against Ren’s hair.
Right. They really were. It hadn’t been that long yet, so Ren was still getting used to that fact. After struggling with the blanket for a moment, he threw it around Goro as well, snuggling closer to him. Thankfully, Goro didn’t protest, sliding an arm around him instead. It seemed like it was Ren’s lucky day.
“Are you sure everything’s fine?” He asked quietly. He could read Ren’s mood way too easily lately. It came with spending so much time together, apparently. “I can tell when you seem out of it. What is it? A bad dream?”
They both tended to have nightmares, probably way too often than it was considered normal. With their history it wasn’t surprising though, and they quickly learned not to try hiding it. It was kind of difficult to do when sharing the bed anyway. Ren couldn’t even count the nights he spent comforting Goro, or the other way around, being comforted by him. They were getting by.
“No, nothing really happened,” he said truthfully. No bad dreams this time.
Sometimes not the dreams, but waking up was the hardest part.
“Well, if you say so,” Goro replied, holding him a little more tightly. That was exactly what he needed. To be brought back to reality. “Do we have any plans for today?”
“Not that I remember. How about just doing nothing all day?”
“Not very productive.”
“That’s the point, Goro,” Ren laughed quietly. “We have some laundry to do, I guess.”
“That’s always something. No lazing around until it’s done,” Goro said, and when Ren made a disappointed noise he just turned his head to the side so he could kiss his cheek. “We can do that later though. We could watch a movie?"
"And cuddle."
“What’s with you being so clingy today?” He asked, but the ton of his voice was light, and Ren knew he was smiling, so he smiled too. Ever since they moved in together, he learned a lot of new things about Goro. For example that while he had a hard time initiating physical contact, he loved when Ren did it and quickly followed his example.
"It's just that kind of day. Don't play hard to get," Ren laughed, pushing him onto the couch so they turned into a mass of limbs and blankets.
"H-Hey, what are you-"
"Forcing you to pay attention to me," he said, nestling himself next to Goro, with his head on his boyfriend's chest. "Because I deserve it."
"Someone's really sure of himself," Goro snorted, but wrapped his arms around Ren, holding him close, one hand slipping into Ren's hair.
"Mhm," he let out a hum, closing his eyes. "But you love me."
There was a moment of silence, as Goro continued gently running his fingers through Ren's hair.
"...I do," he finally said, quietly, as if he was afraid someone other than Ren would hear him. Cute. Ren just smiled to himself.
"I love you, too."
***
Ren really hated waking up alone.
Whenever it happened, it brought back unwanted memories. Ones that wouldn’t ever go away.
Memories of the lonely nights in solitary confinement, which was the reality he awoke into after they destroyed the dream world. Thinking Goro was no longer there.
Of the nights when he was woken up by nightmares and tried to not wake Morgana up, as he curled up into a ball, cheeks wet with tears, squeezing his phone in his hand and staring at the messages that never reached the person he wanted to reach.
He did it automatically - with trembling hands, he reached for his phone the moment he was awake enough to recall where he put it. Without thinking much, he typed a short message and sent it.
He let out a relieved sigh the moment it got through without any error. It was enough to calm him down a little. Just a little though. He was still waiting for a response. Without an answer, he’d probably start panicking all over again.
The response didn’t come right away, but it did. He had a different sound set specifically for Goro, so he knew it was him.
Goro: I thought I told you I have a morning shift today, but it seems like I forgot… Sorry, I also didn’t want to wake you up, my fault you didn’t know.
Before he could even respond, another message came.
Goro: I’ll try not to forget next time, okay? I’ll be home before you even realize it.
It’s like he sensed something was wrong through that short message. Ren wanted to laugh at himself and how stupid he was. Of course everything was alright. His homescreen was a recent photo of the two of them together at Leblanc, taken by Sumire and Futaba when they weren’t looking.
The fear was simply irrational, sitting somewhere at the back of his mind. Goro wasn’t going away anywhere. Not again.
Staring at the photo, Ren smiled. No matter how many times he needed to be ensured it was real, he was happy. Every moment with Goro was like a miracle to him, after all they’ve been through.
Though it’d be nice not to be scared of waking up anymore.
***
It seemed like it wasn’t going to go away anytime soon though.
Without opening his eyes, Ren reached out, feeling around the space next to him. Just like expected, it was empty. It wasn’t anything new, even if he usually tended to get up earlier. Nothing new.
And yet, after confirming the apartment was silent, his first first thought was to grab his phone and choose Goro’s number. Pretty pathetic of him.
He didn’t have to wait long for him to answer the call.
“Ren? Oh, do you need something? Our fridge was almost empty so I decided to make a run to the store. I thought I’d be back before you wake up…”
He couldn’t even manage to form a reply, just let out a shaky but relieved sigh. Goro’s voice could instantly bring him the peace of mind. It had always been like that.
“...Ren? Why did you call me?”
“I… I’m sorry. Just needed to hear you,” he muttered, his voice probably cracking. It was a little embarrassing, but in the end, it was just Goro.
Goro, who stayed silent for a moment, then sighed quietly.
“ It’s alright. But if you keep avoiding telling me what’s wrong, we’re going to have a problem,” he said, his tone making it clear that he was serious. Ren only laughed shakily. He could avoid that conversation for a while longer. "Do you want me to buy you something?"
"A donut."
“Do you intend on eating that for breakfast?”
“If nobody stops me?” He replied to the question with another question, making Goro snort with laughter. His genuine laugh was so different from what he first showed Ren - somehow it was both uglier and way more beautiful at the same time.
Ren loved making him laugh.
“Fine, I’ll buy you a donut. Even two. I should be back soon, so if you could make me some decent coffee, that would be nice. We should get rid of the shitty instant one, it keeps tempting me,” Goro said, now in turn making him laugh.
“Wasn’t it you who bought it?”
“I thought I can’t always rely on you, but in this case, perhaps I should.”
“You absolutely should. I’ll have a cup waiting for you, so hurry up,” Ren replied softly. He really loved him, and was reminded of it at every step.
“It’s you who’s slowing me down. Hang up,” Goro said, sounding amused for some reason.
“No, you first.”
“No way. You.”
“Are we really doing this?”
“I won’t back out of a challenge, even if it’s finishing doing shopping while staying on the phone with you.”
This was so stupid. Incredibly stupid. But also so very like them.
“If that’s how you put it, sure, it’s a challenge,” Ren concluded with a laugh.
Being stupid around the person you were spending your life with had some magic to it.
***
“Ren…?” Goro muttered sleepily, opening one eye as Ren threaded his fingers through his hair with a smile. The lights were still on, as he himself was trying to read a book, but most of his attention was going to his half-asleep boyfriend, snuggled against him, using his arm as a pillow.
Cute.
“Yeah, honey?” He asked softly. Goro looked like he wanted to ask something, but was too tired to actually put a coherent sentence together. He closed his eye back, frowning a little.
“...don’t wake me up before noon tomorrow,” he finally muttered. “I need to catch up…”
“On sleep?”
“Mhm…”
They both worked while also attending universities, and the previous week seemed particularly busy for Goro, even if he insisted it was nothing. Of course, being able to compare it with the times when every moment of his life was pretty much scripted, he could say this was nothing, but… it wouldn’t prevent Ren from worrying.
“Rest well, then,” Ren laughed quietly, turning his head so he could press a kiss to Goro’s forehead.
“You too… put the book away,” Goro said sleepily. It sounded like a poorly masked demand for attention.
And Ren wouldn’t be himself if he refused to give it to him. Putting the book aside, he turned to his side so he could face Goro and bring a hand to his cheek to caress it.
“You could just say you want me to spoil you a little,” Ren said when he received a pleased hum.
“...that would be making it too easy for you,” he replied. He could try to be a tease though, Ren already knew that his touch starvation was not to be taken lightly. Wrapping his arm around his waist instead, he pulled him closer and brought their foreheads together.
“You think so? You’re not very good at hiding it anyway…”
“Oh, shut up,” Goro muttered before moving his hand to Ren’s neck and closing the distance between them, catching his lips in a kiss. It was a slow and gentle one though, and kind of clumsy, due to how sleepy he was. Ren loved every second of it. “Mhm… That’s nice. One more.”
“We were supposed to sleep, not make out.”
“There’s a right time for everythi…” He said, but his voice was trailing off. He groaned quietly, as if irritated by that fact. “Tomorrow…”
“Tomorrow what?” Ren asked, a smirk appearing on his face.
“Tomorrow… I’m not letting you off so easily,” Goro mumbled, and Ren understood the implications well. Well, that was something to look forward to, after a week of them barely having any time alone.
“Tomorrow, then. Now sleep,” he said, placing another kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.
“Ren…?”
“Yeah?”
“...did you have any nightmares recently?” Goro asked, moving his arms to wrap them around him. “You…”
“I didn’t,” Ren replied, even if the question took him a little off guard. “You ward them off.”
“...cheesy,” he said with a sleepy smile, then continued. “Y’know… I’m not going anywhere.”
“H-Huh?”
“When you wake up… I’ll be right here… so don’t worry…” Goro added... before finally falling asleep, leaving Ren to process his words on his own.
So he noticed. Of course he would, Ren thought, kind of wanting to laugh, but deciding against it. In the end, he didn’t want to wake Goro up. He didn’t even turn the lights off, too much shifting around to reach the switch.
Ren just stayed like that, smiling while listening to Goro’s rhythmic breathing and brushing his fingers through his hair. It was just a normal, everyday piece of happiness that wasn’t anything unusual anymore.
And yet, he still hadn’t gotten used to it.
***
The next time Ren woke up alone, he was about to do his usual thing, but the moment his hand grabbed his phone, something seemed off.
Upon actually opening his eyes and taking a closer look at the device, he found a small blue sticky note glued to it. He’d recognize the handwriting on it anywhere.
“Morning classes today. It shouldn’t take long. Also, you were supposed to do the dishes yesterday.”
The whole note made him snort with laughter, especially considering the strangely threatening smiley at the end of it. It was… sort of cute, if he was being honest.
Cute, and also momentarily got rid of all the morning anxiety he was normally dealing with. He took the note off his phone, and for a moment just stared at it.
Goro knew him way too well sometimes. Maybe those were just his observation skills, or maybe Ren was simply an open book. Maybe it was all of those. In the end, there was no need to even address it out loud. Goro knew, and had no intentions of ignoring it.
While he felt a little embarrassed still… The warmth he felt, the smile he couldn’t stop from creeping onto his face… Being cared for like this was nice. More than nice. It made him feel a little giddy, as he put the note back onto the bedside table and grabbed Goro’s pillow instead, hugging it to his chest.
Sometimes the simplest things were the ones that spoke of love the loudest.
***
Goro leaving sticky notes on his phone whenever he woke up before him became sort of an unspoken tradition between them, and Ren kept every single one of them. Sometimes they were just silly, like “the roomba got stuck under the couch, free him”, or “tell Futaba to stop sending me memes and asking ‘is that you’”.
Needles to say, he never told Futaba to stop. It was funny.
***
This time, he didn’t wake up to an empty bed. More like, he was woken up by the touch of gentle hands on his face, brushing his hair away, and a kiss to his forehead.
“I know you’re not asleep anymore,” he heard Goro say, so he opened one eye to see his boyfriend leaning over him. “Good, this was the effect I was trying to achieve.”
“...is something wrong?” Ren muttered, his voice barely understandable as he reached out to cling to him.
“No, nothing. Also, stop trying to pull me back into bed, I have to leave soon,” Goro replied, but his hand found its way into Ren’s hair anyway.
“What did you wake me up for then…?”
“We ran out of sticky notes. I’ll buy more on my way home, but I thought I’d try something else today.”
“Like... interrupting my sleep?”
“Don’t complain, I was gentle with that. And you don’t have to get up, just go back to sleep,” he said with a sigh. “This is just precaution.”
“Hmm…?”
"Don't worry about this,” Goro added, kissing his forehead once more. “You’re an idiot, but I don’t want you to worry because of me again. I think having you be grumpy about me waking you up is a fair price for it.”
For a moment, Ren felt like crying, but his body decided it’s time to yawn instead.
“Back to sleep, I see. That’s fine, I suppose,” Goro said in an amused tone. “Now, let go. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
Reluctantly, Ren did, watching Goro get up and direct his steps towards the door. Somehow, for once… he didn’t feel the anxiety that would usually swallow him. Somehow, it was fine.
“Goro?” He muttered, making him look in his direction before leaving the room.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. Just… I love you,” Ren said, not without satisfaction watching the smile that appeared on Goro’s face.
“Love you too.”
This time, closing his eyes was so easy. Letting go of his worries was so easy. Believing was so easy. He knew that when he woke up again in another two hours or so, everything was still going to be in its place.
Right where it belonged, since they belonged together.