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She should not feel this way. Not when John beside her is swearing and hissing that they should persecute Lennier.
All she wants to do is find him (somehow) and give him a tight hug. Say that everything is alright. That she needs him (loves him in a way she can’t name and fears to).
So this is how the last of her friends goes. Mayan. Jeff. Susan. Even Neroon, sometimes.
She looks to John, missing the subtleties as he so often does and so loud, and realizes that this is her reality now. She knows that she deserves it.