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Matteo was on the couch when the buzzer to the flatshare went off and was met by Carlos and Abdi’s shouting, asking why he wasn’t answering his phone, followed by Jonas request if he, please, could check it. He buzzed them in without asking any questions and went to retrieve his phone that had died earlier today and which he left charging in his room when he got home. When the phone was fully charged he saw he’d missed a lot of messages. He went back to the living room and threw himself on the couch scrolling through them. The girls had apparently invited them over tonight and the boys had more or less already agreed. After a long and exhausting week he’d hoped they would have a quiet night with pizza and maybe watch a stupid movie. Matteo felt how he sank lower in the cushions with a sigh, he really didn’t feel like leaving the apartment anymore today. He guessed his body language clearly spoke what he was thinking because when the boys saw him they started talking about what a great idea this was and it would be a shame if they turned it down.
“It’ll be a small thing”, Jonas assured him.
“It’ll be real low key”, Carlos said.
“It’ll be games and stuff there”, Abdi filled in.
“It’ll be fun”, they said in unison with big smiles on their faces.
Matteo had a feeling they only said these things to convince him to tag along, and it worked. Because it’s one of those days when Matteo would rather be wherever they are than spend the evening alone. They went from the warmth of the apartment and the cosiness of the couch out to the bustling streets as people hurried to get away from the cold. It hadn’t snowed so far this winter which made everything have gloomy grey colour. Matteo walked between Jonas and Abdi trying to steal some warmth from them but he was soon freezing despite his layers of clothes. Carlos walked ahead of them, shouting at them to hurry up if they wanted to catch this bus.
They could finally escape the cold when they arrived at the apartment and went inside. Matteo could hear some music play and the girls were all in the living room. Sam and Kiki were setting up for a game while Hanna and Amira tried to piece together a complete deck of cards. Matteo was surprised that it actually was a small low key thing with games. The boys looks mock offended when Matteo tells them he was sure they made things up just to make him agree to come. They all settled down and played board games until it got a bit too competitive about rules and scoring but Jonas smoothly put an end to it as he started talking about a related subject and soon the game was forgotten. Matteo doesn’t engage in the discussion, content to lean back and listen to the others.
The doorbell rings and people shout that it’s open. When Matteo looks at the people who arrived he sees the same boy he passed by a few weeks before at school. Sara and Leonie is with him and they hurry him through the door to take a seat on the floor. The people closest to him introduce themselves but Matteo never catches his name. Their eyes meet and Matteo thinks he can see that the guy recognizes Matteo as well. Matteo is on his way to introduce himself when Jonas shakes his shoulder asking for his opinion on something and the guy breaks the eye contact.
Matteo feels his eyes dragging back to the guy every time someone isn’t talking directly to him, despite that he never looks back. Matteo tries to figure out how he could get to know the guy’s name. He can’t ask for an introduction circle or something because Matteo doesn't want to point him out, neither can Matteo just walk up and introduce himself. The music has been turned up and he tries to regain focus but he has a hard time listening to Carlos story and Abdi’s joke. Jonas is shaking him asking quietly if he’s alright? Matteo nods half heartedly because he is. Or as alright as he can be. But soon he starts to feel like everything is a bit too much, the couch is too soft, the music is too loud, and there’s too many voices around him. He mumbles out an apology to the boys and stands up from the couch to go outside and get away from everything. He gives a quick wave when people ask where he’s going and grabs his jacket on his way out before he slips through the door.
Matteo walks down some stairs until the music has faded a bit and leans against the wall. He closes his eyes and takes long deep breaths and the stone wall against his back grounds him. It’s not squishy and warm like the couch and the people in the flat. It’s sturdy and cold. Matteo doesn’t know how long he stands there until he hear someone's footsteps and doesn’t acknowledge the person because he’s sure that it’s Jonas that has come looking for him.
“So you got out of there as well?”, the voice says. Matteo opens his eyes and are met by the same brown eyes he hasn’t been able to get off his mind. The guy also has his jacket on and the same beanie he had when Matteo saw him in school.
“Huh?”
“They are starting some game or something that involved hand holding so I got out of there”, the guy simply explains with a shrug. “If that isn’t your thing?” he continues, “Hand holding?”
“No, it’s not”, Matteo answers feeling a bit dumbfounded.
“Thought so. I’m David by the way”, the guy, or David, says and sticks out his hand.
“Matteo”, and maybe Matteo would be into hand holding if it was David’s because his hand is warm and comforting against Matteo’s own.
David nods his head and lets go of Matteo’s hand. He takes a place beside Matteo, closes his eyes and leans back his head to rest on the wall looking content to just stand in the staircase.
”You’re new, right?” Matteo asks when David doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t like the quiet staircase if he’s not the only person there.
”Yeah”, is the only answer David gives him. Matteo looks at David that still has his eyes closed but it doesn’t seem as carefree anymore and Matteo kind of feel like he already said something wrong.
“Brave to change school this late. Where’d you live before?” Matteo continues because asking where one lived before Berlin would be a safe question. Right? A good question. He thinks he can see David relax his jaw as if he was prepared for questions he’d rather avoid.
David opens his eyes, “Fürstenberg”, he says and turns to Matteo so he’s leaning his right shoulder on the wall, “it’s a few hours away from here”.
————
Someone opens the door and the music spills out from the apartment for a moment before the door shuts again. People start walking through the corridor, moving towards the stairs. The interruption jolts David out of his trance with Matteo. Keep your head down and get through these last months. That’s the game plan. And he’s certainly not getting lost in a beautiful boy. David internally shakes his head at himself since he more or less threw his plan out the window tonight as he nearly rushed out the apartment hoping the boy hadn’t gone far when he left.
“I’m gonna get going”, David pushes himself off the wall and walks past Matteo.
“I’ll come with you”, Matteo says a little too fast and a little too loud for the quiet staircase but doesn’t make any indication to move. Like it’s a question, as if he doesn’t want to intrude if David really wants to be left alone.
And despite how casual Matteo tries to look his posture is too rigid to match his tone. David isn’t that keen to walk in the cold winter night alone and return to the dark empty apartment since Laura is out with friends. Besides, he doesn’t want to part from Matteo’s company just yet. It’s something intriguing about him. Not being alone for one night can’t hurt, can it? The plan will still be intact.
“Come on”, David answers and continues down the stairs but looks up when he can’t hear Matteo’s footsteps behind him.
Matteo looks a bit deflated where he stands as if he was prepared for a different answer. David cocks an eyebrow and Matteo blinks one time, two times before he follows David down the stairs. David waits until Matteo is beside him again before continuing, and they keep an equal pace before David speeds up a bit and he can see Matteo smile as he matches David. David picks up the pace even more with a question on his face and Matteo have a look on his face Are you serious? but Matteo still quickens his pace even more.
Soon they’re running down the stairs, laughing and jumping off the last steps. David takes one turn too tight and hits his hip in the railing but can’t be bothered to stop and he hears Matteo slip on the last step and and catches himself against the wall and bounces off of it to keep up. Their clothes are rustling and their breaths are fast and their hurried footsteps echoes through the building. When they reach the bottom floor they push open the heavy entrance door and dash out on the street.
David slows down and when he stops he feel his heart racing and he hear the pounding in his ears. He looks over at Matteo that’s leaning forward resting his arms on his knees heaving for air. Matteo takes a few breaths before he leans back with a flushed face and David can only guess that his looks the same. They look at each other for a moment and starts to laugh. Yes, they just raced down the stairs just because. And was stupid and pointless but it was fun and David had forgotten how nice it is to do something simple and carefree with someone.
When they calmed down David realizes that it has started snowing when they were inside. There’s a layer of snow covering the street so it must have been snowing for a while. He looks both ways and can’t see any footprints in either direction. He looks questioning at Matteo who only shrugs but starts walking down the street. They’re both quiet as they walk aimlessly surrounded by big, fluffy snowflakes that’s floating in the air. It’s not an awkward quiet but more of a careful one. The awkwardness was left somewhere in all those stairs they ran down. The streets are also quiet and it feels unusually calm for Berlin. As if the the snowflakes around them created a pocket in the universe where only he and Matteo exists. A small, tiny universe that’s theirs to form. David smiles at that thought. A clean slate.
”Do you miss anything back there?” Matteo asks after a while.
David wants to shake his head and answer with a simple no. No, he doesn't miss living in a small town. No, he doesn’t miss the people that was supposed to love him no matter what. No, he doesn’t miss the school and the horrible people in it. No, he doesn’t miss anything. Besides, Laura is here. He doesn't need anything else than that really. But when David looks up at the snow filled clouds he remembers the first night when he moved to Berlin and the weather was clear but the sky was still bare of its lights.
”To be able to see the stars”, he answers. ”And the occasionally falling one,” he adds with a smile.
”Never seen one of those.”
”What would you wish for if you saw one?” Matteo simply shrugs and looks up to the cloudy night sky.
“Just wanting to run away I guess”, he says with a sigh. David nods, he knows all too well about running away.
”And straight to Detroit”, David fills in smiling, earning him a questioning look from Matteo. “The best music city in the world”, he elaborates.
David begins talking about the music scene of the city that somehow leads him to his favourite films and directors. Matteo asks captivating questions that makes David explain further and he gets so caught up in it that when he realizes he’s practically been holding a monologue for several minutes he’s talking about very specific stuff that he’s sure Matteo has no idea what it is. He ends his rant with a quiet laugh and Matteo gives him a small smile.
————
They have come to a crossroad and the snow is untouched except their footprints. Matteo stops in the middle of the streets, “Do you know your way around Berlin yet?” He asks, reaching out his arms as if demonstrating the different directions.
“Not the slightest”, David answers with a laugh and looks up at the buildings around them to see if he recognizes any of them.
“Do you know where you are right now?”
“Not really no”, David shakes his head and sees a car slowly approaching them.
Matteo looks behind him and squints at the blinding headlights. David steps forward and grabs Matteo’s jacket to drag him towards David and up on the sidewalk. They stand close to each other and follow the car as it pass them by, turning around another corner. Their footprints are overrun by tire tracks and suddenly their pocket in the universe is broken. David realizes he’s still holding Matteo’s lapels and lets his arms drop to his sides as he takes a step back. Matteo is still looking in the direction the car disappeared.
“Do you know where you’re going?” he asks and looks back at David.
“No, do you?” David counters.
“No”, Matteo shakes his head. And Matteo feels brave looking at the way David has tilted his head, somewhere between curiosity and understanding, “Do you want to go there together?”