Chapter Text
(Marti is sitting outside of the hospital shivering in the cold when Tyler finds him.They rise together when Maddalena comes out, and Tyler says the words that Marti can't bring himself to speak.
"How is he?"
"He's calmed down a lot. His parents will finish signing his release papers, and then we'll bring him back to Rome"
"Can I see him?" Marti asks on his own.
"I don't think that's a good idea. And besides, you'll have to hurry if you want to catch the 9AM train." she answers, in clear dismissal.
"I want to see how he's doing," Marti insists, and Tyler is immensely proud of him in that moment.
"I can tell you how he's doing. Not well."
"Why?" Marti pushes, as Magnus joins them, leaning over the railing of the deck.
"BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder. He got the diagnosis years ago."
"I don't believe you." Marti answers.
"You should." Magnus says. "You're not gonna be a good boyfriend to him if you're not willing to understand him."
"Do you think people who aren't crazy run around naked when it's nearly freezing out? He's not in love with you either. It's just another thing his mind has made up for him. Wouldn't be the first time either. He memorized the whole Quaran for a guy last year." Maddalena counters.
Magnus bristles.
"Crazy is a bullshit word. Nico's brain is different. Our brains are different. It doesn't make any of us crazy. And it certainly doesn't mean he doesn't love you."
"How do you know so much about this?" Tyler asks, remembering Magnus had said something similar when they were first figuring out that they were homo sensorium.
"My mom is bipolar," Magnus explains with a shrug.
"I should talk to my mom," Marti says to them. Out loud, he tells Maddalena "I'm going to go catch that train."
Magnus and Tyler walk him to the station before going home.)
Tyler arrives back in Austin to hear the hosts of the morning show on his radio alarm doing prank calls. Shit. That's a later part of the program; he'll have to hurry too if he wants to make it to school on time.
Mia feels drained. Like every fluid in her, tears and vomit and sweat has poured out of her leaving her as a husk. A shell. How could she have been that stupid? How could she have-
("You're not stupid. You couldn't have known." Imann says.
"But I did know. Alex warned me."
Imann says nothing to that, just rubs her shoulders comfortingly.)
There's a knock on the door and Hans pokes his head in.
"You doing ok in here?"
Mia shrugs.
"You should get out of the house. Fresh air maybe?"
("We could go to BPO," Imann suggests. "Take your mind off of things."
Mia hesitates, then nods.)
She gets dressed, waves goodbye to Hans and Lynn, and rides her bike over to the increasingly familiar BPO building, where she takes the elevator up to Daya's lab.
"Mia! How are you?" The pharmacist greets her cheerfully.
"I'm. Well, I'm not great really."
"Do you need me to beat someone up for you? Any friend of Daya's is a friend of mine." declares a scruffy jawed man sitting on a stool in the corner.
Mia gives a watery laugh. "Maybe. I think I'd rather do it myself though."
"A girl after my own heart Ms...?"
"Winter. Mia Winter. And you are?"
"This ruffian is Wolfgang, my brother in law. Or, one of them." Daya introduces.
"Kala and I are in the same cluster. It was love at first apparent hallucination," Wolfgang explains.
"For you maybe." Daya teases, rolling her eyes.
Mia watches them tease each other with a comfortable fondness and the ache in her chest loosens slightly.
"Capheus, who might be your parent, is also in their cluster," Daya says, bringing Mia back into the conversation.
"Wow. That's. Um."
("That's amazing!" Imann exclaims through Mia's mouth.
"Which one was he, when you mentioned potential parents?" Britt asks.)
"The politician in Kenya," Wolfgang explains, incredible fondness in his voice. "He'd join us but he's still on blockers. The reelection campaign is almost over though; when it is he can share with me here and you can talk. See if anything clicks."
"Thank you! I did have another question though. Have you noticed clusters sharing other parallels in their lives?"
"What do you mean?" Daya asks.
"Well, Imann, who you met the last time I was here, she's really similar to my friend Amira here. And Emma, who is in France, reminds me of my friend Hanna. Both of them went through nearly identical breakups last year, with guys who are pretty similar to Jorge, who is another member of our cluster. It goes on like that. it seems like for every one of my friends here, there's someone in my cluster who fills that roll in another country. And all of them (she double checks this very quickly with her cluster-mates) know a girl like me."
Daya and Wolfgang exchange glances, and Wolfgang's posture shifts.
"Mia, this is my sister, Kala. She and her other husband, Rajan, are also pharmacists who have been researching sensates."
"Ah, I see." Mia responds, trying not to get too caught up on "other husband."
"Mia! So wonderful to meet you," Kala says, warmly shaking her hand, and Mia understands now what Daya meant when she said she could tell when someone was talking through someone else's body if she looked.
"So? Have you heard of anything like that?"
"Unfortunately, no. None of us have found anything in our research leading about parallel lives within a cluster. However, we would be happy to help you figure it out."
"Thank you." Mia responds.
Kala gives her another warm smile, stretching wide across Wolfgang's cheeks, and when it fades Mia can tell Wolfgang is himself again.
"You look better."
"I feel a little better. I just...I want things to work out. For all of us."
Daya give her a hug.
The feeling better lasts until she gets back to her apartment when she sees the clothes from the other night in the hamper and promptly begins crying again.
If Mia is struggling, that means Liv is struggling, and Imaan decides that it's high time she and the rest of the girls did something about that. She calls them all up and they head for Liv's apartment. Ralph and Esra open the door.
"How is she?" Imaan asks, not bothering with the niceties.
"She ate," Esra shrugs. "Still hasn't gotten out of bed yet though."
"We want to see her," Isa says, while the rest of them nod.
Ralph hesitates before nodding, leading them into the flat. He knocks on Manon's door.
"Fuck Ralph!" She exclaims when he bursts in immediately after, then seems to notice the rest of them.
"What are all of you doing here?"
"We hadn't heard a thing from you," Imaan says (as do Kiki and Emma). "We called Ralph because we were worried."
"I told them you didn't want to see anyone," Ralph explains, "but they insisted."
"What's going on?" Imaan asks, as they all file in and arrange themselves around Liv on the bed.
"I'm sick." Liv answers, rather unconvincingly.
"Hmm." Imaan puts a hand to Liv's forehead. "No fever."
"I'm getting better, it will pass."
"Why won't you talk to us? What's happening?"
"Exams are coming up. I didn't want to be a distraction. And besides, it's the weekend. You should be going out and having fun, not sitting around here worrying about me."
"Liv, we're your friends. We're always going to worry about you," Jana replies decisively.
"Anyways, I have to write this article for the paper."
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Esra says.
"But I do want to! And I do want to hang out with you! But I feel like I'm drowning!
("I can't sleep" sobs Manon.
"I can't eat" cries Mia.)
"I feel like I'm suffocating, like my throat is closing up, and I have no idea what happened the other night!"
(There is a collective, shuddering gasp, and they very quickly divide up. Britt goes to Mia since she was there. Emma and Imaan stay in France and the Netherlands for obvious reasons. Jorge goes to France as well, and Magnus takes the Netherlands. Marti has his own problems to be dealing with, while Tyler pulls out his phone to begin creating a new instagram account.)
"Deep breaths Liv, deep breaths. You're having a panic attack. We're going to get you through this. Breathe with me."
All of them, the girls and the roommates and Liv herself, follow Imaan's example. In, out. In, out. In, out.
(Imaan shares with the others, so on three beds they are breathing together. In, out. In, out. In, out.)
"Good. Good. Do you want to tell us what happened?" Isa encourages.
Liv takes another few breaths. In, out. In, out. In,out.
"I went over to Noah's (Alex's, Charles') house. I wanted to talk to him about the fighting. Tell him that I understand why he did it, even if I don't like it. My phone was dead though, so I couldn't check if he was home. And he wasn't, but his brother was. Had a party going on. Offered to let me charge my phone. I said ok."
In, out. In, out. In, out.
"His brother. His brother said all these horrible things. That he was in bed with another girl. That he was never going to change for me. That I was just another notch in his bedpost. I don't know why I believed him, but I did."
In, out. In, out. In, out.
"I took a shot with him. The next thing I remember is waking up in Noah's bed, naked. It didn't smell like Noah though, it was. It was disgusting. and. And I wasn't alone."
In, out. In, out. In, out.
"His brother was there too. And someone else. A girl from school."
In, out. In, out. In, out.
"We have to go to the emergency room," says Engel.
"I don't. I don't even know if anything happened. Better immediately, but also better now that never."
"I don't even know what happened though. It would be his word against mine. And besides, he. He took a video. What if. What if he shows it to people?"
"We're in the Netherlands." Engel responds firmly. "There are laws set up for when things like this happen. To help you. To protect you. And I believe that good triumphs. Always. I have to believe that, because no one is going to believe it for me. For any of us."
"I've tried telling her that," Ralph responds.
"I don't. I don't think I can." Liv says.
"Ok, what if you confront him directly? We'll all come if you'd like. Tits out, that would probably terrify him." Jana proposes.
Liv gives a watery laugh. "I don't know if I can do that either."
"If anyone can, it's you." Engel declares.
"It's true," Isa agrees.
Liv sends the text.
In France, they actually managed to convince Manon to go to the ER. Mickael and Lisa stay home, promising that they're gonna cook and clean and make the place nice for Manon for when they get back. And so it's the five of them (plus Britt and Imaan,) who walk through the sliding glass doors of the hospital together.
They walk up to the counter first, and Imane is the one to hep explain what they need. The nurse hands Manon the paperwork. No sooner has Manon finished then she gets called. An orderly tries to stop them.
"We're her family," Emma explains, and they are let though.
They gather in the seats around her while Manon speaks with the doctor, hand over her phone to show the photos. Emma has never been prouder. When they're done in the hospital, Manon sends the text to Charles' brother, telling him she wants to meet.
(Tyler sends the instagram DM from his new account.
"I don't think anything happened at the party. But you should still talk to Clay."
"Who ru?"
"I've seen you around. At parties and stuff. I was hooking up with a friend of Clay's that night."
"What's ur name?"
"Can't say. Guy I hooked up with is in closet. Can't risk it. He's got a GF and everything"
"Sus."
Tyler hesitates, then sends a picture from the party, cropping it down so he isn't visible like he was in the original. It may have just been his back, but Grace isn't dumb and he doesn't wan to risk her figuring out who he is.
"Ok, so you were there. Clay told me nothing happened, but I don't trust him. Then he also told me he took and deleted photos."
"Can confirm that the photos got deleted. I was there when he did it."
"Do you know anything else?"
"I know you were both crazy drunk. And I know I kept waking up because he was snoring so loud.Could hear it from the next room."
"Oh. Ok."
"Feel better?"
"I wish I did. Still feels like I'm trying to pull myself back together."
"I feel that")
Marti has had plenty of time to think over the past few days. About Nico's brain, his brain, all of the brains in his cluster, and all of their parallel selves, which the people in Germany said they've never seen before, so that's another mystery to solve. And about his mom. And her brain, and all the ways that maybe he's never understood it before.
So when his Mom comes in to check on him, Marti is on edge.
"Leave me alone," he demands.
"Marti, what's wrong?" she asks, sitting herself down on the bed.
"Mama. Please. Just leave me alone."
"No. I'm worried about you."
"Mom! Please!"
"No!"
"Fine then, I'll leave!" He cries, recognizing that this is not particularly helpful but too frazzled to deal with it properly as he slams the door behind him.
He leans against it, sliding down and resting his head against the barrier. He wonders, maybe-
"Are you sitting there?" he asks.
"I am."
"We're all so happy in this house aren't we?"
"Will you tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't want to," Marti answers, half a lie.
"Marti, your father called yesterday."
"Well I'm glad you two can still talk if it's about me."
"Marti, do you really think I care if you're gay?"
"I don't know Mama."
"Martino, you are the most important thing in my life. Do you know that?"
He can hear the tears in her voice, feel them on his cheeks as well.
"Come to your aunt's house with me on Friday? We can talk on the way." she asks.
"We'll see."
"I know that means no, Marti,"
He laughs through his tears.
"Can I come out then?" His mother asks, and Marti says "We'll see" just to hear her laugh too.
When he eventually stands and opens the door, they hug for the first time in longer than Marti cares to remember.
(When Marti finally goes back to school, Magnus pops in to check on him throughout the day. The fourth or fifth time, it's when Marti and his friends are skipping class to go down to the school psychologist's office and get a professional opinion on The Nico Situation.
"With the proper meds, he's going to be able to live a perfectly normal life," the man is explaining.
"There, you can unblock him now," Gio tells Marti.
"You blocked him? When did you block him?" Magnus asks at the same time as the psychologist goes "what's blocking?"
"On the train on the way home" Marti tells Magnus while Luca explains blocking to the doctor.
"Why did you block him?" The shrink and Magnus ask together.
"He has a girlfriend, and only calls me when his brain is acting up."
"Who told you that?" They ask again, in unison.
"His girlfriend did."
Magnus, Gio, Luca, Elia, and the school psychologist groan in impressive harmony.
"His girlfriend?" asks the doctor, speaking what's on all of their minds.
"She's in med school!" Marti defends, though Magnus can tell he's starting to figure out where they're going with this.
"And you're convinced that she told you this because she's in med school, and not because she's a jealous bitch?" And ok, the phrasing it a little more harsh that what Magnus would have used but that right there is pretty secure confirmation that he and Luca are the same person.
"Look, how long has she been in med school for?" The doctor asks.
"Three months or so?" Marti replies.
"She must be quite the prodigy if she can give so much information after only three months of med school."
Marti shrugs, and the shrink decides it's time for another round of the "trust your friend exercise" so Magnus decides that it's time to go.)
Jesus. He hopes getting Isak a boyfriend won't be this complicated, though he had a sneaking suspicion in will be. At least Isak is already out to him, so maybe that will avoid a little bit of the trouble.
It really, really, really wasn't on purpose this time. He swears. But as Jorge had been going to a game in the park, he passed by Joana and Cris talking and, once again, has overheard something he probably shouldn't have.
"I have BPD." Joana says.
("Of course she does." Marti sighs.)
"And when I'm not having an episode, I think I'm normal. But when I drink, or I smoke, it throws me all the way out of whack and I just do all of these impulsive things," Joana is explaining to Cris.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you're looking at me right now! And because. Because I didn't want you to worry."
Cris doesn't say anything.
"I have to go," Joana declares, and goes back the way that she came.
Cris looks lost, standing there in the middle of the path, but Jorge isn't sure that there's anything he say do to help. He continues on his way, but sends Eva a quick text mentioning that he thinks he saw Chris in the park, and she looked a little upset. Maybe Eva could text her?
An affirmative reply comes back a moment later, and Jorge feels marginally better. Now all they need is to figure out what happened is for Mia to confront Bjorn, Marti to talk to Nico, and BPO to figure out what the hell is going on with their cluster. Nothing to worry about.
("Well, we're gonna check one thing off that list right now." Britt says decisively a the next afternoon. "You ready girl?"
Mia shakes her head.
"No. But if I don't do this now, I never will."
"Megan said she was gonna be out of town, so I bet she's driving Grace to Dallas" Tyler contributes. "You're not doing it alone."
"Never alone." Emma promises.
Britt looks Mia over. She's not quite back to her usual level of sharp style, but she is wearing the lipstick Kiki got her for Christmas. Definitely not alone. They walk together to the cafe where Mia has made plans to meet Bjorn.
And they wait.
and they wait.
Imaan helps them breathe. In, out. In, out. In, out.)
Britt has also taken a page out of Jorge's book, and when Zoe walked briskly away from the schoolyard after the final bell, Britt had waved off Blonde Ambition and followed. She's seated at the same cafe as Zoe, in a nearby section that means she can hear but not see what's happening. She orders a cappuccino and breathes.
In, out.
In, out.
In, out.
Senne's brother arrives about the same time that Bjorn does, both with impressively terrible little smirks. Then the Flemish boy is out of sight around the corner.
Zoe and Mia turn down the offers for a drink.
Britt decides, for now, to focus on Zoe.
"They will be the judge of that," Senne's brother tells Zoe, when she tells him she's not 18.
"Big mistake." Britt thinks.
He's charming now, telling Zoe how excited he is to finally meet up with her. How worried he was over the period of radio silence. Britt is sure that it's supposed to be charming, but instead it comes off as creepy. Oversweet like cough syrup.
"Perhaps you're busy with exams?" he is asking now, playing at concern.
"That night." Zoe says, the words coming out as if each one takes great effort.
(It does. They do. She can feel their weight on her tongue in Berlin.)
"I don't remember anything." Zoe says.
("You're angry." Bjorn says, and if this were her confrontation, Britt would be saying "no shit" right about now but it isn't so she doesn't.)
"Really!" says a voice in Antwerp, far too delighted for the situation.
"I'm a bit worried about what happened." Zoe's voice is shaky, but she doesn't stutter and Britt is suddenly, fiercely proud.
"You really had a total blackout?"
"How much did I drink?"
"Just some white wine. And some gin-and-tonics."
A waiter with two g&t's has just passed her table; Britt can guess where they're headed.
(Bjorn is attempting to apologize to a superbly unimpressed Mia.)
"You certainly seemed to enjoy the gin that night."
"I did not come here to have a drink with you," Zoe's voice rises. "I came to find out what happened."
"Not even one drink?"
"I'll leave." Zoe says, unequivocal.
There's a rustling like someone is standing up, and then another.
"Do you think it's wise do behave this way to someone with your nudes?"
(Bile rises in eight throats, even as Bjorn attempts to gaslight Mia into thinking that she wanted-)
"Is that a threat?" Zoe asks.
"Did it sound like one?"
"Yes. It did."
"Hmm. Well, here is one for you then. I just told you I am under 18. You're a finance student, right Viktor?"
Aaah, so that's his name. Scumbag suits him better.
"I am," says scumbag.
"It's too bad. If you had studied law, maybe you wouldn't be on the line for child pornography.
Two thumps like people sitting back down.
("You seriously thought I was sending signals for you to whip your dick out in front of me?" Mia demands.)
There's a long silence.
("I've already reported you." Mia tells Bjorn.
"I have a record!" he protests. "Hmm. I wonder what Alex will think of the photos."
"You're going to blackmail me? Besides. It's nothing he hasn't seen."
They can all feel Mia's hesitation though. Alex would...probably not be pleased.)
Zoe lays out all of the relevant articles and statues about child pornography and serving alcohol to minors and threats-huh, apparently she had been recording the whole time- and Britt is duly impressed.
("That's our girl," Emma says decisively.
In Berlin, Bjorn is scrambling. Threatening Alex, which Mia doesn't think much of, accusing Mia of being hysterical, a fake feminist, of lying.
"Brave of you. All alone like this." he says as he stands to go.
"I'm not afraid of you," she says to him.
"And you're certainly not alone," Imaan adds as Mia exhales shakily and sends a "headed your way" text to her girls.
"No. I'm not.")
In Antwerp, Zoe finishes her little talk with Viktor with a quick reminder of what they do to child pornographers in prison. Her shoes click on the tile floor as she passes Britt without seeing her and heads out the door.
(On the other side of the world, they all lean in to see the DM Tyler's fake insta just got from Grace.
"Nothing happened! When I was drunk I asked him to take nudes of me for Daniel. My phone was dead and I wouldn't leave him alone. He was afraid I would go running back out to the rest of the house naked if he didn't do what I said. He passed out too and deleted the photos the next morning like you said. He's taking me and a friend to lunch. Definitely kind of a douche, but not a rapey douche. Hope you're feeling ok today.")
Britt laughs a bit in relief, then checks her own phone. There's a text from the guy she's started seeing, Sander.
"Coffee?"
"Busy today. How's tomorrow?"
"Sounds nice!"