Chapter Text
Though she wanted to lean back in her chair and rub the drowsiness out of her eyes, Leander sat up straight behind her desk, keeping her gaze alert and her smile fixed in politeness; radiating out to anyone in the waiting room who looked her way.
Behind her, the incessant clacking of keyboards reminded her that she had plenty of her own paperwork to do. It’s always did, drifting in from an adjoining room behind her desk, which housed six staff members. These people received, processed and issued all pertinent information to and from this office; functioning as a vital link between the Commander and the port.
To Leander’s right, an ornate set of double doors opened and two men walked out, identified as Psychiatric Analysts by the pale red sashes both wore.
“Please have these documents uploaded to the server. Forward on the marked notes to the archive staff as well, please.” One of them said, approaching her desk.
Leander nodded, offering a neat smile as she took the offered documents.
“Of course. Will there be anything else?”
The man hesitated for a few moments and, grudgingly, she noticed the unasked question colouring his face. It was the same one everyone was hesitating to ask. The one that Leander was trying to avoid answering at all costs.
“Well then, I’ll see that these are dealt with immediately.” She swung away, evading any further probing by swiftly delivering the documents to the office behind her.
She dropped them onto the nearest desk for sorting, occupied by a young clerk named Cindy.
“Any updates?” She murmured under her breath, cocking an eyebrow in Leander’s direction.
“Nothing yet.” The cruiser replied with equal discretion and an ever-present easy smile.
Leander moved back to her desk, relieved to see that the Analysts had left without any further prompting.
She glanced around the room; opposite her desk, against the far wall, was a line of padded leather benches reserved for visitors waiting to see the Commander. The cruiser took note of each visitor in-turn, all officers of various creeds and callings. She could read the tension on some faces, alongside the quizzical glances on others.
The former concerned the state of command. After the death of the last Commander, during the disastrous Cook Islands campaign, Azur Lane HQ had selected a group of the remaining officers to command the base, dealing with any major decisions collectively, while handing the day-to-day affairs of the base in a monthly rotation; each officer occupying the command office in-turn. This was to continue until HQ deigned to select or transfer a new commander.
That was nearly eight months ago. Between then and now, HQ’s specified method of management had proven to be an unpopular and ineffective system; a sense of indecision beginning to boil over as the weeks passed. And it had only been compounded over time by increasingly sparse communications from NY City.
Added to this was the relatively recent arrival of Commander Ryoma, from Arctic Outpost, who had demanded to be incorporated into this fragile system of egos. This had been a difficult proposition to argue against, since she was technically the highest ranking officer on-site; a Base Commander, but unverified at Pacific South. And disliked.
Though now disliked was quickly becoming disparaged with each day; each passing day that Commander Ryoma refused to give up her command to the next officer waiting in-line…
The intercom on Leander’s desk buzzed, pulling her out of her momentary reverie.
“Send the next one in.” Ayana Ryoma’s voice slithered through the speaker.
The Head-Secretary fingered the intercom on her desk, scanning the waiting faces for few moments, considering her options, before buzzing her reply.
“Your… Guest is waiting for you, Commander.”
“I don’t see anyone special on the schedule.” Came the abrupt reply.
Leander allowed herself a rare, and very brief grimace. Not for the first time today, she wondered how on earth she was going to keep the peace when her Commander was so intent on stretching it to breaking point. Steeling herself, she let her gaze rove the room, hanging on the same figure that was had attracted, and was still attracting a series of quizzical looks, the Special Guest in question; the Sakura light carrier, Junyou.
She was sat apart from the others in a corner, eyes digging into the far wall, occasionally turning to glare at anyone who made the mistake of glancing at her for more than a second or two (of which, there were plenty).
“No, but I understand you invited her…” The Navy girl buzzed through again.
“-She can wait. Send in the next sycophant.” No room for argument.
Leander gritted her teeth. “Of course.”
The cruiser released the intercom slowly, dreading what might come next.
“Captain Williams?” She called out.
A man cocked his head, glancing her way.
“The Commander will see you now.”
The man nodded and made his way into the office.
Leander kept Junyou in the corner of her vision. The carrier narrowed her eyes and glared at the receptionist, but remained silent. Leander breathed a light sigh of relief.
Ticking time bomb that she was, Leander didn’t dislike the woman. Far from it, she actually pitied her. Whether she realised it or not, there was a reason she being kept waiting in a clear line of sight; Leander was still guessing the exact reason, but she had settled on some form of provocation for now.
As to why; yesterday, a group of grim-faced men; two senior officers from the Admiralty and several guards, had strode straight through the waiting room and on into the Commander’s office. The cruiser had expected fireworks, quickly ushering everyone else out of the connected rooms. Not that anyone had needed any encouragement, they could all smell the blood in the air.
Considering the carrier’s presence in light of that, she would even hazard a guess at intimidation being the motive… But surely not, for that was an extremely perilous path to tread for someone from the Admiralty. Still, if there was anyone who would do it and anyone who could…
Leander had come to learn, along with plenty of other staff, that Commander Ryoma was to be treated with the upmost caution. The woman was resourceful and calculating but appeared capricious, remorseless but adept at portraying care and, most of all, skilled at depicting divisiveness as unity.
And thus, it should not have come as a shock when, several silent minutes later, that same group of officers and guards, equally grim-faced, had walked out of the office and back into the depths of the base just as swiftly as they had arrived.
The fact that Ryoma had sent a group of men intending to remove her running, without even raising her voice, confirmed Leander’s suspicion that this officer was of a different ilk from her colleagues.
And then today, the appearance of Junyou reaffirmed it with a chilling certainty.
The secretary had learned of their relationship several weeks ago by accident. She had been working late and had received a delayed tactical report from the defence fleet. In command at the time, Ayana had informed her secretary that she should be kept up-to-date with the fleet’s movements at all hours. As such, Leander had made the trip to her private quarters to the deliver the report and relay any immediate commands.
It was there that she had come across Junyou and Ayana in the process of parting. The secretary had pulled back, watching the scene; Junyou was hesitating, clearly reluctant to leave. She kissed Ayana relentlessly, intertwining their arms, trading whispers and touches. Leander had seen the devotion twisted by need in her eyes. All-consuming to the point of agony.
Easy as the woman was to dislike, she clearly did comprehend affection beneath the ice of her glare. Leander tried hard to remember that as the other visitors came and went; Junyou always left waiting, her patience visibly fraying until it hung by a thread.
Finally, as they were approaching lunchtime and with her schedule clear, Commander Ryoma buzzed through to her secretary and requested Junyou’s presence. The carrier hopped to her feet when her name was called. She scowled at the Navy cruiser as she approached the double doors, making it clear who she blamed for her long, long wait.
That landmine disarmed for now, Leander busied herself with paperwork until Cindy came to relieve her for her lunch-break; something of a novelty for a fleet girl, the cruiser always mused.
Leaving the waiting room, she paused in the corridor outside and felt a wave of relief pass through her; waiting for her a few paces away from the doorway was Brooklyn. She took in the Eagle Union cruiser with an appreciative gaze; she was wearing a white blouse that peeked out beneath a form-fitting navy suit jacket and pencil skirt combo.
Leander found herself threatening to blush.
“Want to take a photo?” Brooklyn glanced up and shot the secretary a wry smile.
“S-sorry.” Leander stuttered, pacing over to the other woman and reaching out to touch her wrist discreetly.
“I’ll let you off for the ogling. I’ve heard the rumours; sounds like you’re having a rough day.” She murmured into her companion’s ear.
Leander gave an almost imperceptible nod and leaned in a little more, enjoying the closeness.
Brooklyn worked in the office on the floor below; the Diplomatic Relations division. Though that was something of a misdemeanour; there was really only Azur Lane and a loose confederation of land-locked cities left in the world. There weren’t so many arguments to defuse when survival was at stake. Instead, Brooklyn and her crew were tasked with handling affairs between the factions stationed at Pacific South base. A task of the upmost delicacy considering that the base housed the largest contingent of Royal Navy and Ironblood anywhere in Azur Lane.
“Well, let’s get some air. Maybe I can find a way to help you relax.” The Union cruiser teased with a dry chuckle.
Leander hushed her, but allowed herself to be led away towards a stairwell at the end of the corridor. She was lulled enough that she missed the sight of an elevator pinging open opposite her office, several armed guards filing out and marching into the waiting room.
***********
Junyou was a touch disappointed with the distinct lack of a high. Still, it felt good to do things the old-fashioned way.
She stepped forward, her knee firing up into the groin of one man. As he bent over, she shot a tight right hook that rocked his jaw. Slipping forward, she hooked her ankle behind his and then launched the palm of her hand into his face, flipping him over. The guard twisted at gross angle as he landed, folding in upon himself.
He twitched but didn’t move. Junyou nodded in approval.
His comrades stared at her shock. It took a moment before they started to fan out. She had taken the first one by surprise, supposedly safe in the knowledge that she couldn’t hurt him. So much for that.
“You know what to do.” Ayana informed her, from behind her desk.
Junyou stepped forward again, mechanically rather than gleefully. She hoped that these ones wouldn’t succumb so easily; she wanted to show off her worth. Maybe that would get her blood racing.
The next guard tried to bring an electronic rifle to bear. Rather than attempt to evade in such close quarters, Junyou thrust the palm of her hand into the rifle’s muzzle as he lifted it, slamming the rifle-butt back into the guard’s face. Stunned, he shuffled back, losing his grip on his gun. Junyou caught it, wrenched it from his hands and then swiftly swung the barrel down against the man’s skull. There was sickening crack before he fell limply to the ground.
Maybe a bit too much.
She dismissed the rare concern as the remaining two guards wisely decided to spread out, clearly planning to pincer her with raised batons. Junyou waited, letting them flank her. When they attacked, the man on her left moved an instant before the other; she caught his wrist and stepped inside to evade the other blow coming from behind in one smooth motion. She gripped the guard’s triceps, and then lifted him into the air before bringing him crashing down on top of his comrade.
Four men down but no blood. It felt good, if a little underwhelming; her hands were still.
The coward tried to run. She reached out, hooking her fingers around the pale red sash of his uniform. Dragging him back, her other hand encircled his throat.
Yes, she remembered this one. There had been more than a few evaluations over the years, she remembered the oozing condescension well. The hate she harboured for this particular overseer gave her a little extra kick.
Finally.
“Bring him here.”
Junyou obeyed, though she allowed herself a little mirth; lifting the man up as she choked him. His throat gurgled and spluttered with raw panic. Such a sweet sound.
She slammed him down on the desk, holding him there firmly.
“How… Can you… Do… This..? The failsafe…” His voiced rattled, eyes bulging as the words tumbled out.
Junyou grinned, baring her teeth.
“You should know, Good Doctor. When you do anything for long enough, the distinctions lose their value. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that coming?”
The Analyst just gazed at her in horror, mouth distorted and crooked as it rasped.
Ayana leaned over the prone figure.
“It takes an even hand, you see.” She gestured briefly to the carrier.
Junyou looked up, gazing fondly upon her lover. Ayana ignored her.
“Now. You’re going to tell me everything. And then, if I deem that you were polite enough, I’ll allow you to scurry back to your fellow schemers.”
“You’re unhinged.” Junyou tightened her grip. “HQ won’t… Accept…” He croaked.
“They know everything that’s happening here.”
“You’re lying!”
“I’m not. Now, tell me who the chief-architect is.”
“Wha- It’s me! What do you think-”
Ayana shook her head and sighed as Junyou pushed her thumb against the man’s windpipe, strangling him.
“That’s just not good enough, I’m afraid. Mr…” Ayana reached down and plucked the I.D. badge pinned to his smock. “Mr. Montgomery. Hmm… I should have known that. I find it deeply irritating when I forget important details. I’m sure a man of your privilege and positon feels the same…”
She picked up a letter-opener from her desk and placed the flat of the blade against his face, near an eye. Junyou let the man breathe.
“And I feel confident that we can both better ourselves going forward. That’s why I’m going to give you a second chance to remember who sent you here.”
“Nothing… To say…” He gasped.
Ayana tapped the blade against his face, edging it closer to his eye. An eye that was rolling to one side, fixated on the tip of the blade.
“Whoever it is, they’re just using you. A shield. Surely you can understand, Mr. Montgomery. You stand upon a precipice; you can die for a traitor who will shortly follow you, or you can opt to…”
She slid the blade again, now over the edge of the socket and just barely above the eye. Slowly, she lifted it so that the tip of the blade hovered just above the pupil.
“…To Live.”
Junyou could feel the fear course through the Analyst, turning his muscles limp between spasms. He visibly paled as his gaze switched between certain-death and possible-mercy, trying to distinguish which was which.
He looked hard enough and made the sensible choice.
Afterwards, as she hoisted him to his feet and escorted him to the exit, Junyou found an irrepressible toothy grin marking her face. Opening the door, she loosed her grip on the collar of his smock. He turned to her, a primal fear contorting his features with the awesome knowledge that what he had fought was harmless had just been dormant.
“You should know. There are other like me. Unhinged.” She smiled.
He began to tremble as he gaped at her.
“Killers will kill. Make a note of that before our next session.”
She shoved him out of the door and then turned back to her Commander.
Together at last. No more interruptions.
She strolled over to her desk. Ayana watched her cat-like grace with an unreadable gaze.
“Good work.”
“Thank you.” Junyou smiled, genuinely.
One of the guards on the floor groaned. Ayana switched her gaze.
“Take care of them, would you?”
Junyou cocked an eyebrow.
“To the medical bay.” The officer clarified after a weighty moment’s consideration.
**********
Kiyonami felt like a fraud.
In a fraught moment of supremely blind hope she had asked Smalley if she wanted to visit the Sakura dormitory after academy classes. Shock had left her speechless when her crush had accepted. It was in this lull that it occurred to her that she had absolutely no idea of what to do next.
So they had taken a slow walk across port to her dorm; it would have been pleasant if a slow, poisonous panic hadn’t been pumping through her veins. Smalley seemed so much more put together than her, more mature and less prone to anxiety. If anything, all of the Sakura girl’s faults only stood out more by contrast; it sent her mind spiralling….
She’ll laugh at my stuffed toys. I’m just a child. Childish. Eagle Union and Sakura don’t mix, what if the others throw Smalley out and then she hates me forever… What if Jun-chan is there!?
She barely kept a lid on it, hiding her worries behind a fragile smile and praying that her companion wouldn’t notice. The closer they came to their destination, the worst it got; she shivered each time Smalley ran her silent but perceptive eyes over her.
Thankfully, on arrival, after Kiyonami had ushered her guest inside, they encountered Fusou and Yamashiro. The former had made a friend of a Union battleship, so that surely made it okay, the little destroyer assured herself with some degree of relief. She had seen them talking together; Fusou and the pale-skinned brooding woman who looked just as scary as Junyou, especially whenever she caught sight of Kiyonami in the Union dorms with Smalley and Stanly. But that changed in the Sakura dreadnought's company; something approaching a smile had adorned her tight lips on the occasion the destroyer had spied them together.
Yamashiro went mad with curiosity the moment she spotted them. She peppered them with rapid-fire questions that Kiyonami could barely fend off, growing more and more embarrassed with each poke and prod. Smalley didn’t respond, and she began to worry that the blond destroyer found the attention irritating. Distracted by her worries, she wasn't prepared for Yamashiro's next impluse; suddenly picking the Sakura destroyer up, slotting her into place on her shoulder and proceeding to run laps around the courtyard at a break-neck pace until Kiyonami’s wails forced a chastising Fusou to intervene.
When they had regained their footing, Smalley had smiled for the first time.
“I like you, Yamashiro.” She had said, voice tinged faint laughter.
That set the battleship off again; hollering in delight before lifting the Eagle Union destroyer onto her shoulders and taking off for another set of laps, a horrified Fusou and Kiyonami in-pursuit.
Finally, after Smalley had been retrieved from her ride, she requested to see Kiyonami’s room. The Sakura destroyer had acquiesced, buoyed by Fusou informing her that Junyou was out.
And that led to her current predicament; sitting on the floor of her room next to Smalley, totally void of any methods to entertain her guest.
Not that she hadn’t tried up until now.
First, she had shown off her stuffed toys in desperation. Smalley had politely observed, listening to her babble through the history of each one; where she had obtained it, who gave it to her, how long it had been in her possession.
Next came the ploy of working on their homework together; writing a tactical summary of a naval battle they had been studying in class. Tactics were one of Kiyonami’s many weak points at the academy, and she greatly appreciated Smalley’s help; her clinical assessment proving the Union destroyer had a fine understanding of the battle lines and reading between statistics.
Finished, Kiyonami found the familiar creep of dread once again eclipsing her mind; she couldn’t think of anything to do or say. She needed something impressive, something to disavow how childish she had already proven herself to be.
She probably just wants to leave. I should make an excuse… Give up…
But she didn’t want Smalley to go.
She didn’t.
And her frustrations burned hot for her inability to be charming or appear mature…
“What’s that?” The Union destroyer suddenly pointed.
Kiyonami blinked, startled for a moment before she looked to where Smalley was pointing; a tear in the tatami that formed a hole in the floor.
“Oh… Jun-chan d-did that. She was… A-angry…” Kiyonami stammered. She didn’t want to think back, but the memory pervaded.
It was after her visit to the Commander’s office. She had wanted to talk to Junyou; to tell her that Hiyou might be coming back, but the destroyer had hesitated; first coloured by fear and then distracted by curiosity; the carrier had been looking at an old box of rusted metal with the strangest expression. By some instinct, Kiyonami knew that interrupting her then would be a bad idea; so she stood just beyond the ajar-door, watching silently.
It had proven to be the right decision; vindicated when the rage came; startling and terrifying. But she saw the misery there, something so bare and lonely and weathered; something on the verge of breaking. And so, even through the almost-overwhelming grip of fear, she pushed forward, thinking that perhaps news of her visit to see the Commander might cheer Junyou up.
After all, she had made a new friend; Leander, and she had told Kiyonami that her friends would be very proud of her for trying to bring Hiyou back. And the secretary had been so nice and kind, Kiyonami knew that she must have been right; that it would make everyone happy.
Instead, it had done the exact opposite. And she had learnt about Real Fear.
“Lots of people are afraid of your friend.”
Kiyonami snapped back to the moment to find Smalley looking directly at her. Flustered, she looked down at Hoppy to hide her face. The toy rabbit was perched on her lap, its button-eyes staring back at her, recalling the ferocity of that day.
“Colorado said I shouldn’t go near her.”
“Y-yeah… But, she’s not… S-she’s very sad.”
“Why?”
“It was before. Before you came here… We went to f-fight the Sirens but it didn’t go well and I lost so many friends. It was bad, r-really bad.” She blurted out, trying not to focus on the faces in her memory. “But Jun-chan… She lost the most important person to her, and she tried to save her… She…”
“She couldn’t?”
“No one knows why. We all thought she was d-dead. I saw it… And then she was all alone, that’s why I have to be her friend even if she’s mean sometimes, because Hi-chan asked me to… And Jun-chan… She’s… Inside she’s not like everyone says…”
It took her a few moments to realise she was crying. She began to shake as the past year reverberated through her mind. The people who had to go away… The people that had been left behind; changed forever…
An arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her close. She tried to look up but only saw the blue of Smalley’s jacket, and felt the warmth of her embrace.
“You’re very kind. I’m glad I met you.”
Kiyonami wanted the tears to stop but she didn’t want Smalley to let her go. Inside, she felt twisted to the point of snapping, the past spoke of sadness while the future beckoned her with something new and inviting.
Go to sleep, and in the morning everything will change.
She wanted to stay there forever, wrapped up warm in Smalley’s embrace. But more than that, the memory of Junyou’s rage wouldn’t fade. She knew why the woman grieved, but there was something more… She was sure of it.
The box.
Kiyonami looked across the room, to the sliding doors set into the wall.
She gripped Hoppy tightly and pushed her face into Smalley’s jacket, smudging the tears on her cheeks.
“I need your help.” She whispered.
**********
Leander groaned and opened her eyes. Her vision blurred, urging her to go back to sleep, but she persisted, focusing on the sleeping face on the pillow across from her.
Brooklyn looked so calm and composed, even when she slept. Leander couldn’t help but just gaze for a while. Eventually she half-rolled over, still entangled her partner’s arms. Though dark outside, a nearby digital clock told her that it was still reasonably early.
Today had been a draining affair. She still wasn’t quite sure what to make of what she had returned to after her break; Junyou dragging limp and unconscious guardsmen from the office to the infirmary. The carrier had paused to smile grimly at the secretary…
I had to deal with some unwelcome guests.
It should have been impossible for a member of the fleet to hurt a human. She had heard scattered stories and rumours; killing by direct orders, psychiatric breakdowns and veterans growing numb to their failsafe. As she pieced them together from memory she found the portrait of someone capable of this violence fit Junyou alarmingly well.
The shock still loomed large, and she hadn’t told anyone else. It would only sow seeds of panic, she reasoned. Still, it scared her more than she was willing to admit. Commander Ryoma was drawing a deep line in the sand; one that couldn’t be retreated over once crossed, even once this particular power struggle was resolved.
At the end of her shift, and given the multitude of woes that had worn her down, she allowed Brooklyn to lead her back to the Eagle Union dormitory. Then, in a total collapse of Navy protocol, she allowed Brooklyn to sweet-talk her into staying over, for the second day running.
Her absence would be noted and they would frowning back home, no doubt about that. Although there was a strong bond between the Royal Navy and Eagle Union, there was still some snobbishness here and there.
However, as she considered her options, that wasn’t what bothered her. Instead, she found her thoughts dwelling more heavily on her sisters. Two days without Leander’s supervision; who had Achilles mortally insulted? What sinister scheme(s) had Ajax hatched?
At this point it was almost certainly worth staying away. And besides, she thought as she turned back to Brooklyn; to simply lay in her embrace was so very tempting…
What a wonderful life it would be to give in to every one of her lover’s temptations.
Sadly, her position, both within her family and her faction, prevented such idyllic fantasies.
Brooklyn’s limbs were stubborn as she tried to untangle them both. Not so much in the unrelenting way, more in how soft, smooth and inviting they felt brushing against Leander’s. Finally on her feet, she crept away. She had fallen asleep in her uniform, so at least the final step of her departure was swift.
Exiting the dormitory, she couldn’t help but look back one last time. She could pick out Brooklyn’s window, on the second floor of the building, without a moment’s hesitation. The light was off; her escape had been successful.
She couldn’t help but wish it hadn’t.
**********
She was sprawled across the bed, her head resting against the pale skin of Ayana’s stomach. She felt satisfied, that’s what she told herself. Over and over. Maybe she had at first, but in the resulting silence of the aftermath she found the mood fragile.
Their sex had started wild; aggressive tendencies overflowing with desire. Crashing against each other, pushing and pulling through something primal; on the other side they saw different shades of each other.
A woman who demanded raw gratification for her deeds.
A woman who craved something she couldn’t conceive.
Gradually, they were blinded; consumed by themselves instead of each other. Touches and groans became shallow; traces and echoes of memories. Junyou felt it, like something tumbling from her grasp; in the way Ayana’s skin was so cold and unresponsive to touch, how she began to manoeuvre the carrier around like tool to get off on.
Afterwards, she fell into a groove amongst the sheets. Ayana was a narrow line beside her, silent and still. Back against the wall. They were almost glad to have fallen out of each other’s arms.
In the resulting dead space, Junyou held her tongue and closed her eyes. She had learnt a few things about her Commander over the last few weeks; the most important lesson concerned her temper. It had two sides; one to be unleashed out in the open, another to seethe in private. The former was ruthless, sometimes bombastic for effect, and always intimidating. The latter…
She was well-tutored in the latter now; a sheet of glass you could look through and miss, brittle before it shattered into a thousand pieces. Shards of glass that would dig in and bleed you dry.
Junyou looked up and shuddered. Ayana’s gaze was divided; a cold blue eye stared straight ahead, off into the unseen distance. The other, warmer in colour, was aimed directly her.
She is both watching and not watching me.
She felt the foreign sensation of fear course down her spine, making her stiffen and wrap her arms around her chest.
After a few moment Ayana sighed, her gaze syncing.
“That’s a bad habit. I’m sorry.” Her voice seem to echo from a far-off place.
A hand caressed Junyou shoulder. The carrier relaxed slightly, lifting herself up and bringing herself level with her lover.
“It’s artificial?” She prompted, gazing at the unnatural eye.
Ayana gave a slight nod.
“What happened?”
“A few years ago… I was on a production model carrier, just an officer then. Sirens attacked as I was inspecting the engine room. There was an explosion. I tried to pull a crewman clear and got a face-full of fire for my troubles.”
Junyou ran the tips of her fingers across Ayana’s face. She could just barely make out a few slight and faded lacerations around the eye. She’d never noticed them before.
“They did a remarkable job on my face, but the eye was boiled. The Admiralty suggested I try something new.” She tapped the skin just below her aqua-hued eye.
“Is it special?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
Ayana gazed at her for a few moments, her face passive. Junyou wondered if she had overstepped her mark with the question.
“It tells me many things. About the fleet… About you.”
“Can it… Can it see that I’m broken inside?” She felt the urge to look away, but kept their gazes locked. She had never touched on her uselessness directly with Ayana.
“Yes. But not in the way you think.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’ll understand later. Rest for now.”
“Am I not…?”
“Rest.”
Junyou did as she bidden reluctantly, resting her head on a pillow. She watched her Commander but found remarkably little there to consider; a reflection staring back at her. Impenetrable.
A machine can’t understand a human.
She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the faint warmth that emanated from the woman beside her. She had always found it difficult to sleep in front of anyone else; an intense dislike of ever leaving herself vulnerable before another person. Hiyou had been an exception. Kiyonami was bearable, though she still often laid awake throughout the night when they shared a room. Oddly, she didn’t have quite the same problem with Ayana; sleep always lulled her without concern. At first she told herself it was because she wasn’t defenceless when enfolded within her lover’s arms, and that sufficed.
Tonight, however, a voice crept into her ear as she tilted on the verge of slumber; it told her that she could sleep because she was alone in this woman’s company…
She awoke an hour later, startled by a dream that was already evaporating from memory. Open skies, a Sakura fighter gliding alongside her… Something so familiar in the shifting winds.
Words.
No, a warning. She tried to recall but it had already floated away.
Looking up, she saw Ayana sitting in a chair across the room; her eyes glazed over as they peered through bay windows and into the blossoming night beyond.
She’s staring out to sea again.
She pushed herself up to her knees and let her head clear, eyes sharpening.
Waiting for someone else to return.
Ayana seemed to hear her awaken.
“Sweet dreams?”
“Moments with you.” She lied.
The faintest of smiles ghosted over Ayana’s lips.
“Sweet enough.”
Junyou rose and dressed. The distance between them seemed to tell her that it was time to leave.
“You did well today. You moved like a dancer. It was quite captivating.” Ayana murmured.
The carrier nodded but said nothing.
“I’ll have a reward for you soon. A special task.”
“Whatever you need.”
“Thank you. Good night.”
Suddenly she was a visitor and not a guest anymore. She brushed the thought from her mind as she slipped out into the night.
***********
“What is it?”
Junyou paused and listened through her door. She could hear Kiyonami…
“It looks old… Broken. And there’s some…”
…And Smalley.
She turned away. If she went inside she would only force them apart.
“What does it say?” The rustle of paper.
She couldn’t help but listen, their voices brushing against her ear as she considered her options. It seemed like there was nowhere else to go besides out. That shouldn’t have surprised her.
“It’s… I don’t understand… A message… Someone…”
What are they talking about?
Curiosity roused, Junyou pressed her ear to the door. They were muttering and whispering to each other, it was hard to catch any details. She pried at her sliding door, slowly working her nails around the edge and working a slight open. She peered through and froze.
A rush of blood. A whisper.
She opened the door and walked inside.
Immediately, Kiyonami pulled back in fear. Smalley just watched her impassively.
“I just… I-I… N-no, I can e-explain…”
Junyou ignored her for a moment, kneeling down next to the box. She quickly replaced the contents that had spilled out, only pausing on the last piece; a coarse and jagged plate of Hiyou’s former-self; a sliver of the far-past in her hand.
A flame sparked inside, willing her to let it blaze.
The children watched, wary and waiting.
To the left was Smalley. She was still.
Ahead was Kiyonami. She was trembling.
To her right was… No. No. No. No. No. No.
No.
Jun…
No.
She looked down at the cold metal. Dead twice, both at the bottom of the ocean now.
No.
Don’t hurt them, Jun.
No.
Her hand began to shake, the rotting black of the metal wavering in the faint lamplight.
No.
…Please don’t.
She looked up at Kiyonami. She must have been the architect of this desecration.
“Do you know what this is, little rabbit?” She waved the metal in the destroyer’s face. “Do you?”
Her voice was a harsh whisper, straining to contain everything bubbling within.
“N-no…”
“This is a piece of my sister. This is Hiyou’s body. The first one.”
Kiyonami reeled away, but her back came up against the far wall. She tried to look away. Junyou reached out, her free hand flashing through the air to clutch the destroyer’s jaw. She forced her to look at what she had unearthed.
“Somewhere out there, there are pieces of you. Just like this, rotting away on the ocean floor, stitched up with dead men. Would you like to find them?”
Kiyonami whimpered and tried to pull free, but Junyou kept hold of her, forcing her to meet her gaze.
Suddenly an arm lashed out, but Junyou was too quick; she let go of Kiyonami and slapped Smalley’s fist away before grabbing a fistful of her jacket. She dragged the girl close.
“What about you? Do you think there’s a piece of you out there?” She held a jagged edge up to defiant blue eyes.
“I thought you were our friend. But you’re Terrible.”
Her voice was blank until that last word. Junyou felt it, like a pin being pushed into her eye. Her grip slackened on the destroyer’s jacket; she had no argument.
All of a sudden, Kiyonami launched herself forward, shoving Smalley out of Junyou’s grasp. Scrambling to her feet, she grabbed the Eagle Union destroyer and dragged her away. Together, they fled the room in a whirl of frantic limbs and panicked gasps.
Junyou just watched, unmoving for several minutes after.
“There’s nothing left of me. Not in the ocean. Not anywhere.”
I’m sorry. This is all my fault.
“No. It’s not.”
She felt a pair of phantom arms wrap around her shoulders.
Don’t give up.
Junyou closed her eyes. The flame inside spluttered and gave out, leaving her in the dark.
************
Leander was walking back towards the Navy dormitory when she heard a commotion; panicky footfalls and rasping breaths. She turned, and through the glow of a nearby streetlamp, she saw two young girls half-collapse onto a bench.
Concerned, she changed direction and walked towards them. She scanned the distance, conscious of the fact that they had appeared to be running from something or someone.
“You have to go!” She heard the smaller of the two girls cry. “You’ll be safe with your friends.”
The taller girl straightened up and reached out to take her companions hand. “I can’t let you get hurt.”
“Please! Please don’t… I need you to- she’s only gonna come after me!”
“Girls, are you two okay? What’s wrong?” Leander asked as she approached them.
They both looked up and the Navy cruiser recognized them; the taller girl was an Eagle Union destroyer. She had been born from the bowels of the base fairly recently. Leander had escorted her to the Union dormitory herself, along with Brooklyn. The smaller girl she remembered from a visit to her office several months ago; a sweet and innocent little thing who had been pining for her friend… She recalled how fragile her doe eyes had looked, strained by fear then as they were now.
Kiyonami.
Then it all came back to her. The destroyer had wandered into the waiting room, so obviously out of place; scared and alone. Leander had eventually coaxed the reason for her visit out of the destroyer. She knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to take the child to the officer in-charge at the time, nothing good would come from it. But as frightened as she had been, Kiyonami was adamant; she couldn’t leave without seeing the Commander.
And so Leander eventually worked an opening between appointments and escorted the child into the office, ready to protect her at the first sign of derision or condescension. But the officer in-charge at the time, a tired-looking middle-aged man, had listened quietly as the destroyer stuttered through her story. It was a familiar one; everyone had lost someone in the Cook Islands. The officer promised to look into the matter and Leander rewarded him with a fine smile; for as empty as the promise had undoubtedly been, he had still treated her grief with patience and care.
That was more than most of their kind got.
As Leander got closer, she saw the recognition light up Kiyonami’s eyes.
“Can you help my friend?” She asked.
“Of course. I can help both you. Just tell me what happened.”
“I-I have to go. Just… Please, take Smalley home.”
“Wait a minute, sweetie. Why don’t you just talk to me for a moment?”
“No… No. I can’t.”
Suddenly the child broke into a run, swerving past Leander and disappearing into the beckoning night.
“Wait!” The cruiser called out in vain.
“We have to go after her.”
Leander turned back to find Smalley gripping her arm.
“What happened to you two?”
Looking at the destroyer, she remembered the remarkably passive expression she had worn when they first met, much as she had a few moments ago. Now, perhaps by contrast, she noticed fear strain and pull the girl’s eyes wide with remarkable clarity.
“Can you keep a secret?” Smalley asked in a quiet voice, after a few moments consideration.
“Of course.” Leander stroked the girl’s hair, forcing a smile.
**********
No movement. Just focused on breathing. She knew she would stop if she didn’t.
Was oxygen necessary? She couldn’t remember.
Moments passed and the silence became so dense that it bowed her shoulders. She bore it with closed eyes.
That shell arcing through the sky, she saw it. Her final charge; the intensity of the pain as it lanced through her breast, and onto its true target. Nothing she could she do, not even die; an unworthy sacrifice.
She felt a coldness creep into the room, the kind that froze blood and oil alike. She shivered and lashed out, nails scraping the tatami. Then something soft; she opened her eyes.
Kiyonami’s rabbit was on the floor, discarded in panic. She reached out for it and wondered if the girl had realised yet. She would miss it when she did, her hands would feel hollow; the emptiness unfamiliar.
She got up and walked to the wardrobe. Ripping the door open, she found her katana where she had put it aside weeks ago. Looping it around her waist, she left the room.
A few paces out of the door and she was stopped in her tracks by a familiar foe, stood in the courtyard and observing with a by-now weary detachment.
“The cause of any commotion.” She laughed in Junyou’s direction as the carrier appeared, fox-tails swishing.
Junyou stared warily as she kept clear of the courtyard, slowly pacing around her nemesis as she traversed the wooden-walkway.
The deathly-blue crystals of Kaga’s eyes followed her.
“Nothing to say?”
“Go back to sleep.” Junyou hissed between gritted teeth.
“You keep waking me up.”
Junyou stopped and wrapped the palm of her hand around the hilt of her katana.
“Why not draw and finish what you started?” Kaga asked.
She grinned with sharp teeth at the resulting silence.
“Or do you have someone else in mind?”
“Your name will always be on my blade.”
“I’m glad someone still thinks of me.”
“You think I won’t do it?”
“I think it’s all you can offer.”
“You’re no different.” Junyou sneered.
“Before. Now, mercy has humbled me. Opened my eyes. Now I can see clearly; it hangs on your heart as well.”
“As if. Pride was your downfall. And you’re even stupider than you look if you think I harbour mercy.”
Kaga chuckled again. The sound made Junyou’s skin crawl; something so resigned there.
“We share a bond, you and I.”
“Not willingly.”
“We’ve both lost everything. And we didn’t even realise until it was gone.”
Junyou tried to speak, to fire a jibe back, but her mouth suddenly went dry.
“And we both understand what it’s like to be left behind. We know grief’s true name.”
“Killers kill.” Junyou found her voice.
Kaga just laughed.
“It’s what we were made for. That will never change.” But Junyou felt the hollowness of her conviction quiver in her throat.
“Killers kill.” Kaga repeated with a rattling chuckle. “Until they die or they can’t. We both know which label fits us.”
Junyou turned away. It was pointless to speak with this fool. She was long past due for scrapping. She shivered, but a surge of anger brought her back to her senses as she left the dormitory.
Mercy.
What a joke. The world wasn’t so colourful.
She let the thought go as she strolled out into the bay, listening intently.
She was rewarded for her attentiveness after a few minutes; the sound of brisk footsteps brushed against her ear. They were coming towards her along the pathway, she realised after a few moments.
Glancing around, she noticed a slight gap between two nearby supply sheds. She moved closer, and after gauging that it was a reasonable hiding place, squeezed herself into the gap.
Two figures came into view, one significantly bigger than the other. They paused to speak to each other and Junyou picked them apart; Smalley and that secretary, Leander.
What is she doing here?
Junyou had to force a snarl down. She held a natural dislike for the woman that only grew by the day.
Always so Nice.
When they moved on, Junyou followed. They stopped several times to look around, and she crept closer, hoping to hear what had happened. Unfortunately, she could never catch their whispers in detail, but she could tell from their rasping tone that they were in some degree of distress. Judging by that she could deduce that Kiyonami was missing, and she had managed to hide herself away somewhere that her crush couldn’t pinpoint.
As she waited for Leander and Smalley to move on again, she considered the problem. If she had left Smalley behind then the destroyer wouldn’t have gone anywhere with other people. They had surely already combed the beach, so that left…
This is a piece of my sister.
Junyou grimaced and knew with certainty.
She paused for a few moments before easing herself out of her current stalking spot; Leander must have already alerted someone else, because Junyou began to spot other pairs of silhouettes fumbling through the night. Straining for patience, she remained motionless in the shadows until the coast was clear. Only then did make her way towards the western edge of the base.
At the base of the western hills, she paused to gaze up into the distance.
Mercy has humbled me.
Kaga’s words still lingered. She tried to shake them clear of her mind as she began the long climb.
Now I can see clearly; it hangs on your heart as well.
Was she merciful when she had beaten down those guards earlier today? Broken their bones and left them concussed; she had revelled in the dance; the first time with a human partner.
…But she hadn’t killed one of them. Though, she reasoned, that was because Ayana wouldn’t have wanted bodies in her office.
That was what she told herself again and again as she continue to climb the steep slope.
We’ve both lost everything.
Junyou shook her head and snarled, as if to throw the thought lose. It wasn’t true, even… Even though she was walking there now. Even though she had made herself stop going there.
I thought you were our friend. But you’re Terrible.
Yes. That was more like it. The Junyou everyone knew and avoided.
It sounded so much sweeter coming from Smalley, usually so devoid of emotion; but the distrust had come to the fore-front in that moment. Pure and reviling. She had wanted to wound the carrier, the same as any enemy.
Junyou understood that well. It was natural.
Finally, she cleared the hilltop and approached the cemetery. Looking up, she saw that the sky was still shrouded, but now the moon was starting to peak through; its creeping light painted her surroundings in vivid sketches. The graves were black markers, while the ground around them was bathed in sombre blue; it served to remind her of the hopelessness and futility that reigned here.
We know grief’s true name.
She forced herself to ignore the words that continued to cloud her mind as she walked on, passing faint reminders of fallen comrades, until she came to that one untended grave. Ivy stalked the pillar and weeds sprouted from the ground. It was all a waste.
There was no one here. For a moment Junyou thought she had made a mistake, but then she looked up and saw a huddled figure out by the cliff edge.
With a parting glance at the grave, she walked over to the precipice and stared out over the ocean. There wasn’t anything to see. Just… Nothing.
She heard a whimper as Kiyonami became aware of her.
Junyou glanced to her side, down at the child. She was squinting up at her senior with palpable terror that bowed her head.
“Are y-you going to k-kill me?”
Junyou idly wondered how many people had asked her that very same question. Or how many people had just thought it.
She reached down to her belt, but rather than her katana, she drew Hoppy clear. She tossed it to Kiyonami and watched as the girl caught it, a brief respite washing over her face as she held her constant companion.
“Why do you think that?” The carrier asked, her voice low and rolling up from the waves far below.
“Because I-I looked… I touched it…” She clutched her toy tightly.
“Just relics of the past. A past best forgotten.”
“B-but you said…”
“-I’ve only ever told Hiyou this…”
She wasn’t sure why the memory suddenly came to mind. It came from the furthest place. So distant from this tiny dying island.
“…I remember a time, just barely, when I wasn’t made to kill. I was going to take people to different places, glide across the ocean… But then the others sank and they needed more death. So they twisted me. Hiyou too.”
She removed her katana from her belt, still-sheathed, and held it out over the edge of the cliff.
“They gave me a purpose, and I’ve never regretted it. Not until now.”
“W-why?”
“Because I’ve lost the only person who understood. And I can’t make anyone else understand. I can’t do anything.”
She let go.
The blade came loose of its sheath, glimmering against the sea as it sailed through the night, fading into the eternal waves below.
There was no sense of relief.
She sat down, and was surprised to hear Kiyonami shuffle closer rather than flee.
“Do you know what the kindest thing my sister ever did for me was?”
“What?”
“When I told her about all of that… She pretended she didn’t remember the same feeling. She let me have it, and let me believe it was those who built me who made me this way.”
“How do you know she was pretending?”
Junyou laughed, a bitter sound.
“It was so obvious. Think about how different she was from me. She kept that part of herself; the peace, the laughter and the light. She remembered more than me, but she didn’t let blood temper her the way I did… She had clemency from the killing.”
She felt two small hands reach out and encircle her arm, hugging her tightly. The warmth was startling; she began to shake.
“…She protected me from myself…”
She felt childish tears soak through the fabric of her sleeve.
“…And I couldn’t protect her from a single shell.”
She felt something she had never felt before; something broken inside, the shards of her wisdom cube reverberating and giving way to something no machine could comprehend.
“Now I understand; I am alone.”
“You’re not!” Kiyonami reared up. “We’re friends, I promise! We’re True Friends. I loved Hi-chan and I love you, Jun-chan.”
As the child collapsed against her. Junyou wrapped her up in her arms.
“Love is pure.” She whispered. “And then, Love is poison.”
“No! No!” Kiyonami wailed into the carrier’s tunic. “You’re wrong!”
She stroked the girl’s hair. The silk ties around her rabbit ears tickled her palms.
Mercy. Hanging on your heart.
Junyou closed her eyes and wished she was somewhere else. That Kiyonami could be here with the person she needed. That they both needed.
Hours passed. Dawn broke.
Kiyonami was asleep in her arms. She heard footsteps rustle the grass behind them; Leander and Smalley. It barely registered.
Inside, for the first time, she felt truly drained. The hate and the anger had vanished. The ocean just rolled, the tide sweeping in, and then out.