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Kara touches down on the surface of the landing pod, and sighs in instant relief as her boots touch solid terra once more.
Even if it is only artificial ground—Xerobrax is a reformed salvage planet, and nothing here is natural. It’s ice and rock covered in a layer of garbage spaceship parts and sown with artificial turf and manufactured atmosphere. Still, it's better than hours in the endless vacuum of space, constantly having to remind her body to pick a direction and orient herself there.
She doesn’t know how Carol does it all the time.
“Feeling better, cowgirl?” Carol touches down beside her, all flash and style with her sleeker costume. She runs a hand through short-cropped hair. Her cousin always inspires both jealousy and admiration—Kara feels both in spades. “I know that was a long run out in the big black. You should take it easy for a while.”
“I’m fine.” Kara shrugs, trying to roll her shoulders. “Quit calling me that. I’ve never even seen an Earth-based quadruped mammal and you know it.”
“First of all, it’s called a cow. It’s right in the name.” Carol ticks off on her fingers. “Secondly, you need to get laid , and then you’ll calm down about nicknames.”
“Not this old song and dance again.”
Kara aims a kick at her cousin, but as usual Carol—or Captain Marvel, as her codename dictates—is too quick, and skips easily away.
“I’m fine . Some of us don’t need to get our dicks wet in every port.”
“ Some of us sleep better when we’ve had good stress release.” Carol counts confidently. She puts her hands on her hips. “You think I battle Thranian horde drones for weeks on end without getting a little down time? I’d be killed if I didn’t blow off steam once or twice a week.”
“More like once or twice a day.” Kara snorts, but Carol does have a point. Missions in space leave her feeling drained and uneasily oriented, unsure of where her head was at. Being able to sleep for a few days on solid ground—any solid ground—is a blessing to her senses.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t need a bed partner though,” she says, voicing her thoughts aloud. “Just a bed.”
“Fine, we’ll find a good hotel.” Despite her faux tone of acceptance, Carol isn’t conceding, not one bit. “But Kara, we’re going to be here three days, at least, before we join back up with Alex and the rest. And this is Xerobrax!” Her eyes are sparkling in delight. “Land of the guilt-free, all-ethical sex-worker-friendly brothels! Legal Czarnian weed! Strippers from every star in the galaxy!”
Carol sighes, placing a hand theatrically to her heart. “It’s practically home .”
“To you, maybe.” Kara snorts, but she is grinning. “My home is on Krypton. Yours is—“
“Gone.” Carol supplies, suddenly brusque. “Earth is gone.” She spreads her fingers, giving Kara her even, thoughtful stare. “Which means I know more than most about lost time. You’re losing it, kid. Time to spread your wings and quit being such a stickler all the time, or, take it from me—the fallout will be messy.”
Kara sighes, long and heavy, but it was for dramatic effect. “You know I can’t understand half of your Earth colloquiums, right?” At Carol’s insistent eyebrow raise, she huffs. “Fine. I’ll go with you to one stupid brothel. One .”
“Hooray! The youngest Danvers is finally getting laid!” Carol claps. “I feel so proud.”
“Knock that off.” Kara shoves her, but Carol only lands lightly—the gravity here on the landing pod was weak. “And we’re not getting any Czarnian weed. I don’t care if it’s legal.”
“Mmmhmm.” Carol singsongs, in that irritating way that suggested they absolutely would , and led the way down into the receiving bay to scan their papers.
***
In the end, Carol makes her go to three brothels.
The first one is definitely not Kara’s liking. Music is way too loud, and the bar packed with males of every species, each slavering over a different platform with a single dancer. You could book the dancers for the night, and the line at the booth was longer than the one to get in. Kara could see the disinterested dull gleam in the eyes of the dancers as they rotated in their routines, and it isn’t anything wants to make her go stand in that line.
The second is more laid-back, but also, a bit more intimidating. It was a female-only club, but the women are all so beautiful and haughty and remote, including the workers, that Kara has a hard time even speaking to any of them. Carol seems right at home—slipping in a few murmured jokes, sliding her arm around a coyly giggling Daxamite brunette—Kara fidgets with her complimentary drink and fervently wishes she was anywhere else.
Finally, Carol senses her mood and disentangles herself from the brunette, murmuring an apology to her pout. She hooks her arm through Kara’s as they make their way back to the main thoroughfare, and pats her patiently. “Don’t worry, Danvers. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing.”
“It’s not... not my thing.” Kara tries, feebly. “It’s just...it’s been so long and all those women were—“ she flails a hand, ineptly.
“Don’t sell yourself short. You were getting some eyes in there. I saw it.” Carol nudges her.
When Kara only sighs, her tone drops, becoming gentler. “Alright, no worries. Here, let’s try this last place. It’s new and I just want to check it out, mostly. But if you hate it we’ll go home, I promise. And the snacks are on me, next time we’re off-world.”
“You’re on.” Kara snorts, but allows herself to be led by the elbow into the last brothel. It’s a small, modern-looking establishment. Clean, simple lines. Almost like an Earth office—from what she’s seen in the holo-records.
Inside, there is no one. Not even a droid. Just a small screen mounted above a kiosk, and hallway with a series of doors, all sterile and white. Carol stops short.
“Oh.” She whistles. “A virtual brothel. Neato. These are new.”
“What’s so new about people having imaginary sex?” Kara chortles. She feels secure now that she isn’t going to get laid, but the building is...interesting, she’ll give it that.
“It’s not imaginary, dingus.” Carol retorts, but she’s distracted. Her fingers play over the edge of the kiosk, and a series of soft lights appear below the white surface.
“Those rooms are holo-decks with a neural link. Once you go in, you’ll feel everything as if was really happening. And these kiosks work on a neural link, too. It reads your brain and compiles a perfect partner for you, based on your deepest, most personal desires.”
She taps the surface, twice, and the flat screen blinks to life above them. Carol Danvers , the text reads, in this reality, your mate was lost. But you may see her again, if you wish.
Carol lifts her hand from the kiosk as if burned, and her shoulders are tense. “What—“
Kara places a hand on her back, concerned, but the screen flashes again.
It shows a woman. Human. Dark-featured, strong brows, lifted chin. Her hands are thin and strong, and her smile is crooked.
Carol sags, immediately, and Kara has to hold her up. She’s never seen Carol like this before—the destruction of her planet had happened before Kara met Alex, and became her family. Carol was always complaining bitterly about this reality being ‘not the right one’ and how something had been taken from her, but Kara never knew she had a mate. She thought she knew everything about Carol.
Rao , she felt stupid, and useless.
“Maria.” Carol croaks. “God, it’s…. her .” Her eyes are red, and her face glistens.
“Carol, maybe we’d better—“ Kara starts, worry coloring her tone, but Carol shakes her blonde head, fiercely, and rises out of Kara’s arms.
“No. It’s okay.” She touches the surface below the screen, staring up at the image almost wonderingly. “I want to see her.”
There’s a low hum. Then a soft, barely-definable click. One of the doors in the hallway begins to glow a soft, orange-red, and Carol turns towards it, as if mesmerized.
“Kara, I—“
“It’s okay.” Kara doesn’t want to stand in the way of whatever is pulling at Carol like an invisible string. She senses that would be a poor choice. “Go on, I’ll wait for you.”
“Okay.” Her cousin gives her one last, bleary smile and a thumbs up—which Kara knows from Alex is a human gesture of approval, not a grave insult like it is on Daxam—-and then she disappears behind the door, which welcomes her with a warm red glow.
Then Carol is gone.
Kara doesn’t quite know what to do now. There are no chairs in the room, and the only object of any kind is the kiosk.
I could go for a drink. She thinks, absently, eyes on the now-blank screen. Or just walk around. Could be a while before Carol comes back out.
She certainly isn’t thinking about putting her hand on that faintly-glowing white surface, which seems to thrum with a strange energy.
Nope.
Definitely not.
It would be foolish. Not worth her time. Kryptonians have arranged mates. In accordance with the creation matrix. It hasn’t matched Kara with anyone yet, but that’s just because she’s still young. It doesn’t mean anything.
It doesn’t mean she’s curious.
Before she’s realized it, she’s examining the simple white plinth, the strange thrumming sound vibrating in her bones. She’s convinced there’s some kind of technology at play here, but there’s frustratingly nothing on her scanner. The flat screen seems to be politely mocking her.
I could just try it out. The voice in her head says, finally. Almost quietly. Just to see. Just to see what they look like.
I don’t have to….do anything. Just look.
That’s what she tells herself as she approaches the kiosk with a trembling palm raised. Her hand smooths the surface and, almost instantly, a pleasant warmth greets her fingertips.
The screen flashes back to life, and the text scroll seems to pause for a moment before reorienting.
Kara Danvers. Your mate exists in this reality. Would you like to see her?
Her.
Kara blinks. It’s not terribly surprising but, still. She’s only ever had relations with men before. A few women have crossed her eye but none really...sparked. Still. It’s strange, how she feels about it.
As if she always knew that's how it would be, one day.
She’s never used the part of her dormant Kryptonian anatomy meant for procreative sex with women. She wonders if it will even come out, on a holo-deck, but Carol did say the neural link would make her feel everything ... the prospect makes her feel nervous but strangely exhilarated.
Would you like to see her? The screen is waiting.
Kara looks down at the surface. It’s showing her a soft, welcoming blue. Her favorite color. She inhales, thinks okay fuck it and puts her hand down.
The thrum vibrates along her palm and fingertips, and instead of showing her a picture of the woman, there is a soft click. Kara looks down the hallway, and sees a blue light, all the way at the end. She follows it.
The door is glowing blue when she gets there. It’s the blue of her father’s cloak. The blue of her mother’s eyes. And then, as she watches, it shifts and there’s a swirl of green in it. A sweet green. A soft green. It speaks of new beginnings and growth.
Kara touches it, wonderingly, and the door clicks open with a hollow sigh.
She goes inside.
***
The room is not what she expects. It’s….it looks like someone’s home .
Kara looks around. The walls are a soft gauzy color, and the furniture matches. There are curtains everywhere, and she looks out huge open windows that touch the floor to an endless expanse of water. More than she’s ever seen in all her travels to Terran planets. It’s big and it’s blue and there are crying noises attached to winged things.
Birds. She thinks, absently. Alex called them birds.
“Kara?”
She hears her name and turns to the sound. It’s a musical, lilting noise. So sweet. She’s never heard her own name like that before.
A woman crosses into the room from another hallway, combing fingers through still-damp dark, tumbling hair. She’s smiling, red-lipped, with a sharp, tilted jaw lifted in question. She’s half-naked, wrapped in a towel.
She’s a human. Like Carol, and Alex.
A human .
“No wonder the creation matrix didn’t match me with you.” Kara says, aloud, without thinking. She can’t stop staring.
The woman tilts her head, but she laughs. “What do you mean by that?”
She sits down on a couch, white and comfortable-looking. Kara blinks. Her cape is draped over the side. Familiarly, as if it belongs there.
“You’re a human.” Kara tells her, following her to the couch. She can’t help it—she’s drawn to this woman as if by magnets. Not only that. Kara wants her. Feels her heartbeat as if it’s her own. She’s never felt…. anything like this. Anything close to it. Her heart is thudding and she can’t stop staring.
“The creation matrix only scans for Kryptonian matches. You’re a human. It wouldn’t have found you.”
“Well, that’s a pity.” The corners of her lips lift, secretively. “You could’ve found me sooner.”
“I want to find you now .” Kara confesses, unabashed. Her heart is hammering away in her chest, and she wants so many things that it’s blinding to her. “Where are you? How did you escape before your planet blew up? Where are we now? What—-“
“One question at a time, darling.” The woman laughs, and holds a finger to her lips, and Kara is struck by a surge of want so strong it nearly crushes her lungs. She feels it. Feels the warm, slightly-damp skin there. Smells the perfume of her natural scent, so close, so unimpeded, fresh from bathing herself.
She closes her eyes, briefly. She can’t help it.
“I can’t tell you much. The neural link only mostly shows me flashes.” The woman tells her softly, almost sadly. “This is a two-way street, you know. I don’t know who you are, either.”
“But you said my name, earlier.” Kara feels helpless. Confused.
The woman shrugs. Her shoulders are pale and elegant. “I just...felt it.” She takes Kara’s hand. It’s like tiny prickles of sensation in her skin. “Don’t you feel it?”
Kara thinks. There is a buzz in her thoughts. A certainness. A strange, not-unpleasant, knowing .
“I do.” She realizes, sharply. It comes on her like an inhaled breath. Lena. “Lena. You’re Lena.” The name fills her with delight and she laughs. “ Rao , what a beautiful name.”
“Kara isn’t so bad, either.” Lena points out, and her smile is low and sweet. “And you’re from….Krypton.”
“Yes.” Kara practically gushes. “I’ve never been to Earth, but is this it? It’s...it was lovely.”
“Yes, it was.” Lena looks out over the water. The deep green in her eyes reflects the waves and Kara feels the loss keenly as if it had happened to her. “This….looks awfully close to my old apartment. I don’t know why the neural link brought us here. But it’s nice.”
Her fingers are trailing along Kara’s hand, touching softly. It’s innocent, but it’s raising every hair on her body. She doesn’t know what to do with the feelings she has. Joy. Welcome warmth. Familiarity. Comfort.
But she’s also unable to stop looking at the rise of Lena’s breasts under the towel.
She licks her lips slowly, drags her eyes back up. And Lena sees her looking. Sees her, and smiles that low, secretive smile.
Shit. Kara’s never done anything like this before. She doesn’t know where to start. Lena seems so serene, so confident. Kara feels like falling to pieces just to put her lips against that smooth white neck. She decides to just look out the window—that seems safer.
“So what brings you here?” Lena’s fingers keep tracing the lines of her knuckles, and it’s doing strange fluttery things to Kara’s insides. “Something tells me you don’t frequent soulmate link brothels very often...or I’d have seen you before.”
“No, I—“ Kara stops. Swallows. “Is that what this is called? A s-soulmate link? Carol just said it was a VR thing.”
Her head swivels back to Lena, searching.
“Yes.” Lena’s chuckle is throaty. “VR is the practical element of it. The universe is huge, after all. Some beings never get to see their soulmate. On this planet, this style of brothel is relatively new, but the concept itself is as old as time.” Her lips lifted, a bit, and her teeth were bright and white. “You realize it’s not just me telling you all this, right? There’s a computer involved here.”
“Yeah.” Kara breathes. She isn’t paying attention—she was staring at Lena’s lips. She straightens. “I mean. Um. No, not really. None of this really makes sense except for….” She’s unsure of how to finish that sentence.
“Except for?” Lena prompts, gently. Her hand travels up Kara’s hand, stroking her wrist soothingly. Just the way Kara likes.
“Except for you.” Kara gives in. She scoots closer. “You feel real. Like you make sense.”
“I hope so.” Lena’s eyes are different colors. Subtle, but shifting. Kara’s lost in them. “You feel the same to me.”
“Can I…” Kara trails off. She’s unsure of what she’s asking for.
Lena presses their knees together and leans close enough that Kara can count her lovely dark eyelashes, one by one. “You can do anything, Kara. Anything at all. I trust you.”
Anything at all. Oh my Rao. Kara swallows, thickly. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” Lena seems faintly amused that this is what Kara wanted, but she angles herself closer and Kara takes a deep breath before she puts her hands around Lena’s pretty face and pulls their mouths together and—
Oh.
It’s good. Not perfect, but perfectly so. Messy, awkward, tangling, then, as panting breaths are exchanged amid giggles and whispers of hold on let me, Kara starts to feel more at home. Her mouth opens against Lena’s lips and she presses with her tongue, slipping into the damp heat. Lena’s breath is warm and spiced and tastes, faintly, of mint. Kara slips a hand to curl around the back of her neck and Lena lets out a soft sigh into her mouth that shakes Kara to her very marrow.
They shift and breathe together. Lips, teeth, tongue. Kara thinks she’s in control, feeling more solid with every second—and then Lena sucks her tongue into her wet mouth and something inside Kara’s lower body twitches with electricity. She moans, helplessly, and Lena’s fingers clutch against her thigh.
Things are moving, around them. The couch they were sitting on has become a bed, and the lighting is low. Lena lets Kara crawl over her, kissing her near-frantically, and with one smooth, liquid movement, the towel around her body is gone and Lena is just….
Bare .
Kara has to stop and stare. She can’t help it. She’s seen human females naked before—Alex and Carol aren’t exactly shy—but this is different . Wildly, uniquely different. Lena smiles below her, eyes lidded suggestively, and stretches, enticing Kara to look as much as she wants. Her breasts ride high above her rib cage and her legs are long, pale and smooth. The thatch of hair at the join of them is thickly curled and mysterious. Lasciviously inviting.
Kara’s mouth is dry, so she licks her lips, staring. Her heart is thumping away, and she still hasn’t taken off her suit. There’s a tightness in her lower body that she hasn’t felt before. A needy, sensitive kind of yearning.
“I—I...uh,” Kara doesn’t know what to say. She’s never been the best at forming words in a crisis anyway, and now there’s a beautiful naked woman underneath her. She blows out air, rustling her bangs. “ Fuck .”
Lena cups her face, smoothing over her chin. “Kara, darling, if you’re not comfortable—“
“No!” There’s a squeak to her voice that Kara has to quickly stifle. “I mean, uh, no, no I’m good, it’s just, uh…” She drops her nose to Lena’s and nudges her. “Are you? I mean...are you okay with this?”
“Oh.” Lena’s eyes crinkle up when she smiles and it’s the sweetest thing Kara’s seen in ages—while also somehow being incredibly hot. “Yes, of course. Thank you for asking.”
“I just want to be sure…”
“Kara.” Lena arches up a bit and bites at her neck. Her voice is a low, throaty whisper. “I said I’d let you do anything to me and I meant it.”
Oh Rao.
The tightness in her lower regions is more pressing now, almost an ache. Kara grinds her hips down, slowly, without realizing it, trying to relieve the pressure, but Lena moans against her ear and she freezes, unsure of how to proceed.
“Feels like someone’s enjoying herself.” Lena quips, and Kara takes a quick, instinctive pride in how raspy she sounds already.
“Yeah, I….I’ve never done this before, with a girl.” Kara gulps air, trying not to press down again. “I’m not sure I know how.”
“You’re doing fine.” One of Lena’s hands slides down her back, stroking. The other slips down her front, tentatively circling, until she’s palming against Kara and oh shit—
She’s hard. Definitely. Kara didn’t even notice, but it’s there—reacting strongly to the heat and innocent warmth of Lena’s cupping hand. In some ways, it’s a relief: she wasn’t sure how that was going to happen, or when, but it seems her body made the choice for her. In other ways, however, it’s worrisome. What if Lena doesn’t like it? What if human women have expectations about—
“Mmm. Yeah. Definitely fine.” Lena’s breathy voice interrupts her brain’s panic. Her hand squeezes along Kara’s newly-grown shaft, gently, and that coaxes a groan and a shudder from her. Lena sighs, appreciatively, and her eyes tilt back up to Kara.
“Feels so good.” She tells her, as if she knows Kara needs to hear it. “ So good, Kara.”
“Yeah?” Kara shifts her hips downward—she can’t help it. Lena’s hand is intoxicatingly warm. Distracting. “You’re not, uh, upset or anything? Alex says most human women don’t usually expect—“
“I’m not most humans, Kara.” Lena cuts her off. Her eyes are sparkling and sly. “You’ll see that if we were to ever meet. And thanks to this lovely neural link,” she taps the side of her head with her spare hand, “I find myself possessed of a fair amount of information on Kryptonian anatomy. I think you’d be able to do the same for me.” She rolls her hips, meaningfully. “If you weren’t currently distracted.”
“I’m not— ohhh .” Kara bucks into Lena’s hand as the brunette rubs firmly against the tip of her now-fully-hard erection.
“Yes.” Lena replies, succinctly. She kisses Kara’s neck, lavish and sharp. “Take off the suit.”
So Kara does.
She struggles a bit with the boots, as she always does, but it’s only because she feels Lena’s eyes on her so strongly. She’s up on her elbows, assessing. Her lashes are thick dark clouds. Kara stumbles and then rights herself, and she’s naked, standing in front of Lena with an absurd urge to cover herself.
Her cock is hard and curved to her stomach. Her dormant parts seem strangely large. She’s not sure where they’ve been hiding. There’s a flush at her stomach, and it grows as Lena examines her, licking her lips.
“Wow.” She breathes, softly. Her hand reaches out, and then pauses. “Can I touch you, please?”
It’s strange—what hearing the word please from Lena’s lips does to Kara. She’s suddenly ravenous for more of it. “Touch me.” She says, voiced roughened.
And it’s soon hard to breathe. Especially when Lena switches from her exploratory, soft hand, to her wet and warm tongue.
“Fuck.” Kara moans. She’s trying not to thrust as Lena licks a showy line up her shaft, but then she does and the sight of her cockhead pushing against Lena’s plush cheek does something to her and she does it again.
“Soon.” Lena promises, and she takes Kara into her mouth.
It’s bliss.
Wet, warm heat. More and more of it, as Lena tilts her head down and takes Kara almost halfway. Her hands are playing with Kara‘s newly-formed balls, rolling them in her fingers. There’s so much sensation that it’s blinding. Lena pulls off of her, smiling and licks down again, stroking around the base.
When Lena drops her tongue lower and jerks Kara off slowly while she licks around the rim of her ass, it’s unlike anything Kara has ever experienced.
Lena is willing and eager, doing things Kara has never dreamed off. She’s filthy and gorgeous and hot in every way that Kara knows to use the word. Her mouth. Her hands. Her throat, when she takes Kara’s cock into it.
Kara wants to thrust, but she doesn’t want to hurt Lena. She wants—-and Lena knows it. Lena guides one of Kara’s clenching hands to the back of her dark head, fisting in silky black strands. Her head bobs, taking more of Kara into her, and it’s like a band breaks. Kara thrusts and she hears a sweet moan around her cock, and it’s absolution and permission in one. She does it again.
And again. And again.
“ So good ,” she chokes out, just before she comes. “So good, so fucking good.”
Lena probably agrees, judging by her obedient hum as she swallows Kara’s release, but Kara can’t concentrate on that right now. She’s struck by how pretty Lena looks while she cleans up, staring up at Kara with absolute devotion.
Lena’s pretty when she’s moaning as Kara explores her with two fingers, stroking and slipping eagerly and inexperienced over her open cunt. She’s pretty when she’s kissing Kara, whispering out instructions like harder and I like it there and yes, just like that . She’s pretty when she comes on Kara’s fingers, rubbing swiftly over her clit, and she’s pretty when she sucks Kara’s fingers clean, eyes a dark-lidded vortex of seduction over the rim of Kara’s knuckles.
When Kara enters her for the first time, Lena gasps and curls her toes and looks— Beautiful .
And she feels like absolute heaven. Kara finds herself thanking whoever engineered this virtual reality over and over as she works herself inside. Every slow inch brings the loveliest sounds out of Lena’s lovely mouth and it’s all just—
So good.
Kara is crying out at the pleasure of it. She’s never felt such glorious heat. Her hips know what to do, thankfully, and they’re guiding the rhythm for her—slow and deep at first, then faster as pressure builds in her lower body.
“ Yes ,” Lena arches and moans under her, grabbing at Kara’s ass to pull her in. “God, yes, deep like that—“
Kara doesn’t know dirty talk. Kryptonians aren’t fans of it, on the whole, since sex is purely procreative. But time with Carol has instructed her in many ways, so she wants to try her best.
“I want to make you pregnant.” She grinds out, thrusting more and more frantically. “Want to— hff —make your body round and full with my seed. Then everyone will know whose mate you ar— ohhfuck !”
She lurches forward as Lena’s inner muscles squeeze wildly along her cock, buried in clenching wet silk, and her hands steady themselves on the bed, bracing and flexing. Lena’s nails dig into the soft flesh above her ass, and her breathy wail is high and incomplete—cut off by her own strangled gasp.
It’s amazing how perfect something created by a simulation can be. Kara almost weeps when Lena comes. But then she’s coming herself with a startled yelp and falling forward onto Lena’s body as the pulse and throb of Lena’s inner muscles pull an orgasm out of her without so much as a pause.
Her body shudders and releases for a long time. With every helpless thrust, Lena lets out a little whimper and it’s sending lingering pulses of pleasure down her spine. She grunts, happy and sated, and drops her chin on Lena’s breasts, drooling like a babe. Her cock is nestled in warmth and the puddle of their joined lust is dripping between their twined legs, and she can’t be bothered to move. She moans sleepily into Lena’s warm flesh and feels, rather than sees, a soft smile in return as Lena strokes her hair, shushing.
“I’d let you, you know.” Lena says, after a time.
It takes Kara a moment, but when she catches on, her whole body thrills. “Oh?”
“Yes.” Lena tells her, softly. Her fingers slip through Kara’s ear. “I’d be proud to. Now, hush. Rest.”
She closes her eyes.
When she wakes, she’s no longer inside of Lena. Lena is dressed in soft greens and blues. She’s leaning over her in the bed, eyes kind but sad.
“Your cousin is in the lobby.” She says. “I’m afraid our time here is over.”
Realization hits Kara as she scrambles to her feet. “But, no, wait—“ She grabs for Lena’s hand. “I don’t even know where to find you.”
“No.” Lena’s voice sounds strangely far away, and Kara is suddenly grabbing at nothing. The image of Lena is fading. “But I think you know how to look.”
“Lena!” Kara yells, near desperation. She’s never felt such intensity over someone, and to have it suddenly taken away—-it’s agony to her senses. “ Wait! Come back!”
“Find me, Kara.” The voice is disembodied now, floating away. “Find me, and I’ll know you when I see you.”
The world blinks to white. There’s a silent rushing in her ears, a pop, and then it’s like nothing has happened. She’s standing back outside the door in the hallway, but her suit is on, not a stain out of place, and her hair isn’t even disheveled. She can see her started face, reflected in the mirror-white surface of the door.
The colors are gone.
“Lena,” Kara puts her hand to the door, but the green and blue swirls don’t return. “ Lena .”
“Kara?”
She turns at the sound of her voice. Carol is peeking in from the lobby, looking down the hallway. Her eyes are red-rimmed, but she’s smiling—albeit weakly.
They don’t speak until they’re halfway down the street.
“What…” Kara is slow to recover. She looks back over her shoulder as if the building will disappear. But no, it’s still there. Solid, and plain-looking as ever. “ What in seven gaseous hells was that?”
“I didn’t know it would be like that.” Carol says, half to herself. Her eyes drift to Kara’s. “I saw my dead mate, Kara. Saw her. Touched her. And she was alive.”
“I met my soulmate.” Kara tells her, and Carol’s eyes widen. “And she was….” Her sigh tapers off.
“Wonderful.” They say it together. And laugh, shakily, looking at each other in half-disbelief, half-knowing pleasure.
“I need to find her, Carol.” Kara says, when the mood straightens. “My soulmate. She’s out there. And all I can think about now is….”
She trails off when she realizes what she’s saying, and who she’s saying it to. A flush runs over her cheeks. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, Carol, I didn’t mean—“
“No, it’s okay.” Carol’s hand is heavy on her shoulder, squeezing. “It really is. I understand how you feel.” She lets out a laugh that’s as pained as it is genuine. “I really , really do.”
Kara nods, feeling her throat tighten. She still feels guilty. Carol lost her planet, lost her mate, lost her everything , and here Kara can only think about her newfound future. Alex’s cousin is always quick with a quip or a dry comeback, but she’s never been this raw before. Kara is grateful that she knows, now.
Maybe now, something good will come of it. Maybe now, they can talk, as a family, her and the Danvers’. Maybe, together, her and Alex can get Carol to open up.
‘Captain Marvel’ or not, everyone can’t be a superhero all the time.
Kara knows this all too well. ‘Supergirl’ is a demanding enough title. Saving the universe comes with the name, not so much with the person behind the cape. It’s a hard life they’ve chosen.
“I think I have an idea how to find that soulmate of yours, maybe even get a second neural link to mine, too.” Carol tells her, and interrupts Kara’s tentative thoughts like a neutron missile.
“How?” Kara asks, afraid to get too hopeful.
Carol smiles wickedly. “We find the engineer of the holo decks.”
***
It takes several months of exhaustive work, but eventually, they do find the engineer. Or, rather, her last known address. It’s a planet called Thorul, and it’s nearly abandoned—a ghost world.
There is a lab on the outskirts of the last remaining town, and the locals tell them the engineer is the only being they’ve seen. She’s a human, apparently.
The possibility of that fact does make Kara’s heart skip a beat. She can’t shake the idea that the human engineer could know Lena from Earth. She knows it’s a far off dream, though. There are lots of Earth survivors. More than a few ships got out, and unless they traveled together, it’s unlikely. But anything that brings her closer to Lena is all she wants, and all she’s thought of, in her bunk at night, for what feels like an eternity now, and any lead is enough to make her heart speed up, a bit.
More than once she’s suggested to Carol that they just return to Xerobrax and empty their credit accounts on the machines, but that was strongly veto’d as being ‘insanely stupid and maudlin, Kara’.
She hasn’t told Carol her soulmate’s name. She sometimes feels like if she says it out loud, Lena will become a dream. A manufactured reality driven by a hologram and a box in a lobby wall. Everything in her begs for that not to be the case. She’s afraid of what she’d do if that was the truth.
She hopes they’ll find something valuable, this trip. Something worth knowing. She’s anxious as anything, and when Carol sets out to do reconnaissance, she’s bouncing on her heels as she watches the top of Carol’s blonde head sneak over a hill towards the lab.
She has to wait a long time.
Thorul’s two suns have almost set by the time Carol comes jogging back up the main road, red-cheeked and delighted, yelling her name. “Kara! Kara ! Come see! She knows how I can find Maria!”
“What?” Kara stands up so quickly she hits her head on the roof of the shack they’ve been squatting in. “Ow, shit.”
“You’ve got to meet this engineer. She’s a genius. I’ve never met a human so perfectly adapted to alien technology.” Carol is babbling as she helps Kara to her feet and rubs her forehead, checking for lumps. “You’re going to love her. She’s very easy on the eyes, too. If you don’t find your soulmate, I’d suggest shacking up with her for a while because—“
“Carol.” Kara interrupts, patience gone with the bump to the head. “What did she say about Maria?”
And did she say anything about Lena? Her brain asks, unhelpfully.
One thing at a time. She tells herself, sternly. Carol first.
“Oh yeah.” Carol almost looks sheepish. “Well, it’s—um—it’s complicated. Involves a lot of parallel universes. Apparently I’m not supposed to even be in this one.” She shoots Kara an apologetic grin.
“What?” Kara might have to sit down again. “But you’re...Alex’s cousin. My adopted cousin.”
“Yeah and Kara, believe me, I’ll still be those things, but—“ she takes Kara’s hands in her own. “—but it looks like, in the timeline I’m supposed to be in, the Earth is still there, and Maria is too, and if I go there, it may fix your timeline too. So it’ll be like I never left.”
“Oh.” Kara swallows. Processes. And gradually, she understands. She looks Carol in the eyes and offers a smile. “How will you get there?”
Carol looks delighted and gratified. She takes a breath. “It’s complicated. Lena says it may take months or even years to get the portal right—“
Carol keeps talking, but Kara’s heart has stopped.
Lena says.
Lena says.
Lena.
Lena .
“Carol.” She grabs her cousin’s shoulders, shaking hard. “What did you say the engineer’s name was?”
***
In the end, Carol just takes her to the lab.
She opens the door, because Kara can’t. She’s shaking too hard. Terrified of what could or could not be behind it. So Carol goes first.
“Hey, Lena?”
“Oh, is that you Carol?” A voice answers. It’s heartbreaking how familiar it is. Kara takes a stumbling step forward. “I’ve just been cross-referencing timelines and I think—“
The voice comes around the corner and it’s a woman, dressed in a white lab coat and safety goggles, looking down at a clipboard. Kara’s whole body lights up.
“ Lena .” She breathes, relief flooding her body, as she looks down into the startled blue-green eyes of her soulmate.
“Kara?”
***