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“Master? Master Kenobi?”
Obi-Wan Kenobi opened his eyes suddenly. He hadn't gotten used to it yet.
Neither to this name, nor to the little boy who had just pronounced it. With Qui-Gon, it was either Obi-Wan or Padawan. He had only been a true Jedi Knight for about eight days, but he already had an apprentice. And a night owl apprentice apparently...
"Yes, Anakin?”
"I... I'm sorry I woke you Master, but... I had a question, and I knew I wouldn't get any sleep until I had an answer... You told me that in these cases, I could come and talk to you about it. But... I didn't realize the time, I'm sorry, really...”
Anakin Skywalker, nine years old, had somehow delivered his tirade in a single breath, blushing at first sight, and dancing from one foot to the other. Thus, compassionate, Obi-Wan had reassured his young Padawan, listened to his question and answered it as best he could, despite the late hour...
[...]
How far away were those days, he thought nostalgically.
The young man who was facing him now looked nothing repentant. On the contrary, Anakin had appeared in his room with his usual nonchalance, and had called out to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The fact that "Master Kenobi" also had physiological needs, such as the need to sleep for example, seemed to be the least of his impetuous Padawan's concerns unfortunately...
"Yes, Anakin? "Obi-Wan replied mechanically.
He knew that such an introduction necessarily required this answer on his part, and no other variant. Over the past ten years, they had developed their own little habits, some of which were less appreciable than others...
"Master, I'm sorry to be so direct, but there's a rumor that came to my ears this afternoon, and it's disturbing me a little...”
"This is a surprise, my young Padawan... How can something as insignificant as a rumour still disturb the great, wonderful Anakin Skywalker?”
"Master," scolded the teenager who rolled his eyes in response to his companion's jest, "if it is true, you’d better not make fun of me...”
"Oh... And what is this rumor about, since you're bothering not only to wake me up in the middle of the night, but to warn me to boot?"
"It's a little difficult to say out of the blue...”
"Come on, young apprentice, don't beat around the bush. I would like to go back to bed before dawn, if possible.”
"Master, is it true that when you were still in training, the Council had organized an ‘infiltration mission’ with Master Tachi?”
Obi-Wan Kenobi suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and instantly regretted daring to joke with his apprentice. The beautiful Siri always remained a sensitive subject in his heart, and he didn't like the way this discussion was going... But when he saw that Anakin, suspicious, had stopped midway, aware of the emotional disturbance coming from him in the Force, he nodded his head and told him to continue.
"And that by a strange... how do you say? Oh yes... By a strange combination of circumstances, you had to pass for artists?”
This time, Obi-Wan's slight discomfort turned into despair. He had no way of lying to Anakin... They swore to be honest with each other at all times. And Obi-Wan always kept his promises, no matter how much they cost him... And even if it meant revealing to his young Padawan the burning love that he and Siri had confessed during this mission, thus violating one of the most important constraints of the Jedi Code after the obligation to possess nothing but their lightsaber... He simply nodded.
"Do you sing Obi-Wan? I'm sorry... Uh, Master, so you really had to sing? And some love songs besides?”
"Uh..... Yes," admitted the Jedi Knight, completely disconcerted by his apprentice's spontaneous reaction.
He even called him Obi-Wan.... Obi-Wan, for Force's sake!
"What in the blazes! If it weren’t your word... I thought I knew you, but apparently that's not the case at all. You, my shy Master, still young Padawan, being forced to serenade your fellow disciple for the sake of an undercover mission... Frankly, it's... as surprising as if someone had come to tell me that Master Yoda had suddenly fallen to the Dark Side!”
Proud of his own joke, Anakin Skywalker burst out a good-natured laugh. A laugh that quickly choked in his throat when he realized that Obi-Wan, for his part, was barely able to put on a tight smile. Then, for a brief moment, once again becoming the prudent and selfless child he had been, the Padawan laid a reassuring hand on the shoulder of his mentor and friend.
"Master, I didn't want to distress you... It just surprised me, that's all. I wasn't really mocking, but just imagining you singing love songs with Master Tachi.... Admit it's weird. We still talk about it years later... But I admire your ability to react; if I were asked to do the same thing, I doubt I would be able to do it.”
This touch of tact and humility in Anakin, so rare in these days, reassured the Jedi Master. He had truly inherited an exceptional Padawan: In addition to being probably the Chosen One who would restore balance to the Force, he also knew how to be a companion attentive to his well-being, despite his nightmares and his complacency regarding his abilities.
"I feel that there is something else, Master. Tell me what's bothering you. We promised to always be sincere and avoid secrets between us... Remember that?”
"Of course I remember. It's just that I'm surprised to discover that you heard about this old story.... Your own escapades alone should be able to feed the conversations of your fellow students in need of gossip, don't you think?”
"Don't change the subject, I want to know what's going on. ‘The Master-Padawan relationship must be based on sincerity and trust.’ You keep telling me that all the time! I won't betray you, I swear!”
Obi-Wan could see that his silence hurt the young man. But this story of songs with Siri was so intimate for him... Although, to be honest, not so intimate as that, if it was still circulating fifteen years later in the corridors of the temple. He would find the culprit, and make him pay. Even for a deeply pacifist person like him, petty behaviour should not go unpunished. His innate musical talent was private. And Siri and him even more. But Anakin had made a point. The Jedi Knight already knew that he would entrust his life to his Padawan without the slightest hesitation, had done so several times, and had never regretted it. So why not also entrust his heart to him?
"Ani, I'm going to tell you something very important to me, but you'll have to keep it a secret. Don't tell anyone, under any circumstances, all right?”
"Since when have you been using my nickname Master? All right, all right, I give you my word. I promise you, nothing you tell me will come out of this room. Tell me everything. Oh, and I like it when you use my nickname, it becomes immediately more intimate... "
"Don't laugh Padawan, it just slipped my mind. But it's true that it's more intimate, and therefore specific to the confidences I'm about to share with you...”
"So, may I call you Obi-Wan for once?”
"Normally, I would say no, but exceptionally I’ll let it pass.”
"Exceptionally, you worry me, Master, is that illegal? Did you do more than just sing a song?"
"It's a little more complicated than that. You see, when the Council mandated us for this damn test, this "infiltration mission" as you call it, I think Qui-Gon had already suspected something between Siri and me for a few months...”
"What does it mean, that you love each other?”
His Padawan's surprise was so great that Kenobi felt like a cataclysm was about to occur in the Force.
"Relax, Anakin! Control your emotions, for Force's sake! Yes, that's what it means. At that time, Master Tachi and I were in love.”
"In love? But it's against the Code, right?”
As he expected, his young companion was both understanding and highly amused. At least now he had to understand the reasons for his discomfort.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi in love, and Qui-Gon Jinn who lets it happen. Wow, things happened before I came here, so say... Who would have thought?”
"Anakin, do I continue my story or do you prefer to focus on your little person once again?”
"No, no, no, Obi-Wan! Go on, I want to know.”
"All right. And besides, Qui-Gon didn't really "let it happen". He suspected that Siri and I had come closer together, and... Let's just say that after this mission, he received confirmation of it, and the Council acted accordingly. For a moment, I even thought I would be expelled from the Order... Fortunately, thanks to my Master, this was not the case.”
"Oh, well, still! But what exactly did this mission consist of?”
"They wanted to see how far we could go to complete a mission without the help of our instructors. On some planets — like Tatooine for example, isn't it my young apprentice? — Jedis are rather frowned upon. So in order to get first-hand information before taking action, we sometimes have to resort to... finer methods than lightsaber negotiations."
"Don’t I know it Obi-Wan, " Anakin smiles, gloating from being able to use his elder's first name and their usual joke about ‘tough negotiations’. But to sing?”
"We had to pretend to be traveling artists. Populations are less suspicious of these types of people than of our Order. But precisely, being Jedis — Padawans to be exact — we had not developed any "show stealing" ability, likely to bring a chosen audience to lower their guard sufficiently and give us relevant information.”
"It's more complex than I imagined. I thought the Council had set up this mission only to unmask your attachment...”
"No, my young apprentice. The Council does not waste its time on such trivialities.... Siri and I have been debating for a long time to find interesting tricks to perform. With a little help from the Force, she developed a rather impressive juggling act I must say.”
Kenobi was now smiling, and his eyes, as far as Anakin could tell, had filled with a sweet nostalgia. The Padawan was more than confused. He who believed that his Master was the perfect Jedi, introverted and totally obsessed with respecting the Code... Now he was immersed in the memories of his idyllic teenage years.... The young man cleared his throat loudly to attract the attention of his mentor.
"Master? Master Tachi learned to juggle, but what have you learned to do?”
"Ah.... Well, the truth is, I didn't learn anything," Obi-Wan muttered, a little embarrassed. Before Anakin interrupted him, he added: "I used a talent I possessed for a long time already. Siri had come to see me in my room in the early hours of the morning, without my knowledge. I was in the shower when... Stop right here, Padawan! No... tendentious thoughts! That's not what your hormone-governed teenage mind is concocting!"
The Jedi Master's cheeks had a pretty red hue, and his student couldn't help but snigger quietly.
"So as I said, in the shower, thinking I was alone, I started humming a song of my own invention. Don't look so bewildered Padawan. Singing or even writing songs was to me what pod racing is to you. It was both fun and relaxing... and also rewarding, on reflection... Because even if I only did it when I was alone, I realized that writing lyrics didn't require any effort, and that my voice was in tune, and even rather pleasant, if only to my own ears: In a word, I was happy to excel naturally in a field that was not a part of my learning. I'm not as different from you as you thought I was, am I?"
“That’s true Obi-Wan... I’m shook... I think I can’t picture —"
“That I could have been a typical teenager? Here’s your proof my so very young apprentice,” Kenobi retorted while smiling again.
Despite what he thought, Anakin was still too young to pass his trials. Physically, he was more than capable, they were all aware of that, but psychologically, Anakin was still just a teenager like any other, even more naive than some of his classmates in some cases. There was still Tatooine's little boy who marveled at everything, and who wanted to free all the slaves in the galaxy. Seeing that the latter was fulminating when he felt the path gist of these thoughts through their bound, Obi-Wan patiently resumed his story:
"So, this fateful morning, without my realizing it, Siri heard me singing. And when I came back to my room, her eyes were shining with emotion. I stammered a vague story to explain why I had sung, but she interrupted me by approaching me and whispering in my ear: "Do it again". Which I did, shaking like a leaf, because I had just written this song for her...”
Anakin was captivated by the memory that his Master tried to share with him: Through his eyes, he saw a sixteen or seventeen-year-old Siri Tachi, eyes half-closed as she listened to a song she had unknowingly inspired. He didn't know if Obi-Wan's feelings influenced this hazy vision, but he found her almost as beautiful as Padmé, with her long blond hair and a delighted smile. Then he paid attention to the song itself. He then recognized what his Master had confessed to him a little earlier: objectively, his insecure voice was as beautiful as the song he had written:
My gift is my song
And this one's for you.
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song.
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done.
Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world.
"A rather pleasant voice Obi-Wan? You're kidding.... It was a smooth one, rather!"
"Don't exaggerate Anakin," he tempered, as flattered as he was amused by his companion's exuberant enthusiasm. "But it is true that it was decisive... for the success of our mission," the Jedi quickly eluded. “We got the requested information in no time at all, as everyone wanted to compliment me and chat a little.”
"Yes yes, very well," replied Anakin, who was no fool. "But say above all that it was especially ‘decisive' with Siri...”
Skywalker allowed himself a smug smile contemplating the revealing Silence that followed his remark. After all, the rumours he had intercepted in the afternoon were about a duet between Obi-Wan and Siri Tachi... And given the expression she had in her Master's vision, she was not indifferent to his gift of a song... In addition, he had been told that the Council wanted to expel him from the Order. Speaking of which...
"Why did you almost get evicted from the Jedis, Master? How did the Council know about your attachment?”
Obi-Wan had hoped that Anakin would have forgotten that part of the story. But he should have known that he would not have gotten away with it so easily, since his apprentice's curiosity was not yet satisfied. So it was with a sigh that he replied:
"With my song, I had indirectly confessed my feelings to her, but Siri didn't seem to realize it, she didn't know she was my muse. I was as disappointed as I was relieved. Part of me would have liked her to realize my feelings for her — and return them if possible, but my reasonable side was pleased, because thus my breach of the Jedi Code remained known by me alone. I was trying to convince myself that it was better this way. Little by little, the time came for our last performance. We were to go back to Coruscant right after to share our discoveries with our respective Masters. Knowing this, I choose to perform one of my new compositions — a love song again. I think I was secretly hoping that Siri would be able to read between the lines this time. I was far from disappointed.”
"What happened?”
"I had barely finished the first verse when Siri joined me and sang the second verse in a clear voice, to my great surprise. Our improvised duo seemed straight out of a dream... I didn't even know how she could learn the lyrics, and especially why she sang with me. But I let myself be carried away by the magic of the moment:
"Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day"
Obi-Wan, lost in his memory, didn't even realize he was singing in front of Anakin. Just as the young man wanted to tell his Master that he still had a pretty decent voice, hoping to make him smile, he continued with a voice full of regret:
"When the song ended, Siri swept away my questions by kissing me. It was probably the most dramatic moment of my life.... We did not recognize the signature of a Jedi Knight in the Force. He had mixed in with the crowd. We were aware of the impossibility of perusing a relationship, despite our mutual feelings. So we have regained Coruscant's with broken hearts… To be called out by the Council.”
Anakin was beginning to regret pushing his Master to confess. He had thought that this rumour was false, or that it could be a subject of teasing... He was far from imagining that he would have revived Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest bruise. Suddenly, he seemed impossibly human to the Padawan, even vulnerable, far from the exemplary Jedi image he usually projected.
Feeling the unease settling in between them, Obi-Wan concluded, not without a hint of humour:
"That's the whole story, my young apprentice. However, like any good story, there must be a moral: "Music is a good way to achieve your goals. "Now you can go to bed and let me — finally — do the same. I'll make arrangements tomorrow to silence these rumours... I would not like to be discredited. A Jedi Master is not supposed to serenade anyone.”
"Wait, Master, I have one more question!”
Obi-Wan would soon become rude if Anakin kept on depriving him of a life-saving sleep. But gathering what remained of his patience, he asked with a slight irritation:
"What is it?”
"Do you think it would work on Padmé?”