Chapter Text
It had been ages since Taka had last heard from Takeru. Ever since their fight, Taka had barely even seen him around the studio. Almost every night was spent either at Toru's place, or being miserable alone at home.
Toru was glad for the company some nights, but still a bit tiffed that Taka still hadn't told him what the fight was about. Everytime he tried to ask whether they were even still dating, Taka would just give a shrug and change the subject.
Staring at the bassist across the room, there were a million thoughts flying around Toru's head. Whether he should try asking Taka out, if Taka was still with Takeru, or if he should just steer clear of Taka and focus his energy on Masato.
“Can you stop staring at me? It's weird” Ryota mumbled half heartedly, looking up from his phone. The guitarist had been loudly humming and hawing something for the past 20 minutes. Every once in a while, he'd look up and catch Toru dazed out, staring at Ryota with a blank look on his face. Except it wasn't Toru's usual blank expression, it was much more confused.
“Should I date Masato?” Toru asked quickly, suddenly very aware he was in a semi-public place and could be heard by anyone. Looking around quickly, he lowered his voice. “What's going on with Taka and Takeru?”
“They're having some kind of fight?” Ryota shrugged, “I don't think they've broken up. If they broke up Taka would tell us right?”
“So I should continue dating Masato?" Toru answered for himself.
Ryota raised his eyebrow. Toru had been head over heels for Masato these past few weeks, hearing him start to express doubts was a new development. “Do you want to continue dating Masato?”
“Yes” Toru answered, before hesitating slightly as he looked towards where the vocalist usually sat. “I mean”
“You mean what?” Ryota questioned.
“I like him. But” Toru mumbled a bit. Taking his head in his hands, he sighed and stared at the ground. Unsure of how he really felt about Masato. Unsure whether things ever could work out with Taka, or whether they'd end up crashing, burning and taking the band out with them.
“If Taka was single-” Ryota started, piquing Toru's interest. “would you still want to date Masato?”
“I really like spending time with Masato” Toru admitted with a smile. Thinking of how much they had to discuss, how new and exciting everything was. “I don't feel like I have to watch myself when I'm with him. The slightest thing sets Taka off. I don't have to worry about that with Masato”
“Taka doesn’t have to worry about scaring you off” Ryota sighed, noticing how much trouble his friend was having with this. “Masato is still trying to impress you. He's on his best behavior right now. What happens if you go on a few dates and he starts letting his guard down?”
“I guess I will go on a few dates with Masato and see what happens” Toru answered with a smile. “I can't wait around for Taka forever. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't….”
Ryota watched as Toru let out a deep sigh, afraid to finish the sentence. Throughout everything, he always believed that Toru and Taka would somehow find a way towards each other. It had been obvious to everyone around them that they had feelings. Envisioning a world where both of them with two separate people seemed an impossibility, for Toru to acknowledge that it was a serious possibility took Ryota by surprise.
“So how are things going with Takeru?”
Taka pulled himself away from the phone, not quite shocked that Ryota was intruding into his private life, again. Taka wasn't entirely sure how to even answer that. Staring at the ground for a while, there wasn't a definite answer. He hadn't talked to Takeru at all since their fight. Everything had gotten messy, and complicated. Like he couldn't even explain to Ryota what had happened, even if he wanted to.
So instead, Taka shrugged. “Things have been rocky recently”
“So you're still fighting over Toru is what I gather?”
Taka looked angrily at Ryota. He hesitated a bit, not wanting to come clean but he knew Ryota could see right through him. After all their years being friends, Ryota could always see right through him. With a loud sigh, Taka eventually nodded, indicating that he was indeed fighting with Takeru over Toru.
“I take that as a yes” Ryota sighed to himself. The pained expression on Taka's face as he stared at the ground was all Ryota needed to determine Taka wasn't happy. “Why can't you just leave Takeru for Toru? You had come so far after the last breakup”
“Toru's not interested in me, what would be the point?” Taka responded blankly.
“You've never even tried actually confessing,” Ryota pointed out, “why can't you just talk to him?”
“He already knows” Taka sighed once again. “There's no point in telling him”.
“Even if there's no point in telling Toru…” Ryota started, hesitating for a second before continuing his sentence. He knew Taka loved Takeru, but something always felt amiss about the relationship. “Why are you even continuing to date Takeru?”
Taka continued staring at the wall in front of him. Of course he couldn't tell Ryota the real reason he was back together with Takeru. But even if the relationship was fake, the friendship had began to grow real again. They were hanging out all the time. He was cooking for Takeru almost nightly. Laughing together while unwinding from the day. That is, before they began fighting about Toru again. Part of Taka even wanted to go back to the friendship.
“Because he's safe” Taka admitted quietly, not sure where he was going with this. “I just want to go back to before the mess started. He's safe, and I like him a lot”
“Even when you're fighting?” Tyota questioned.
“Even when we're fighting” Taka admitted quietly. “i just want to go back to normal”
“Are you happy now though?” Ryota asked thoughtfully, “you're never going to be able to get back to normal”
“I am happy”
Taka tried to convince himself that wasn't a lie. he had been pretending to be back together with Takeru for a couple months, and the weeks leading up to the argument had been the most content In a while. If he couldn't have Toru, he knew that Takeru would always be his best choice.
“Whatever you say” Ryota mumbled, not quite believing Taka.
Taka laughed to himself as he was cutting the onion in Toru's kitchen. Trying to make a curry was not going to plan as tears were streaming down his face. Toru did nothing but laugh, causing Taka to laugh as well. It felt nice to be crying over something that wasn't Takeru for once.
“Why the fuck don’t you have a knife sharpener?” Taka groaned, praying that the tears streaming was going to be the most damage suffered. Taka wasn't a trained chef, but even he knew that dull knives were the most dangerous.
“You should be used to using a dull knife by now” Toru laughed hysterically, “you've only been living with me for what…”
Taka went silent as Toru trailed off the sentence. It had been at least 6 months since him and Takeru broke up. Taka couldn't quite remember the date and only kept track of it in terms of how far they had come in recording the theme song. But somehow Taka had managed to spend a significant portion of that time hanging out with Takeru. It had really only been a few weeks since his argument with Takeru landed him back with Toru.
“Does Takeru have sharp knives….?” Toru asked, staring at the ground.
Taka could feel tears continue to prickle his eyes. Staring at the ground, he swore it was just the onions. It wasn't the thought of the time Takeru cursed him out for buying a fancy knife set for his birthday. ‘This is a present for you, not for me’ Takeru had joked at the time.
Flashing back to the present, Taka nodded. “I also got him a knife sharpener for his next birthday”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Toru offered, knowing damn well Taka was unlikely to take him up on the offer.
“No, it's just the onions” Taka laughed a bit, wiping his eyes as he continued chopping the onions with the dullest knife imaginable.
Sitting on the couch after dinner, Toru grabbed one of his blankets and sat down next to Taka. Sharing a popcorn bowl as they laughed while watching a movie, Toru felt his heart racing each time each time they accidentally reached in at the same time and their fingers brushed.
Taka could feel his heart race a bit as he finally got comfortable. After wrestling with blankets to find a good position, he sighed as he realised he was now right up against Toru. Due to the height difference, Taka's head was resting right at Toru's shoulder. Staring ahead at the tv, he could also feel Toru's heart rate increase.
Finishing the bowl of popcorn, Toru shifted slightly to place the bowl on the table. Instead, he accidentally knocked it right over onto the ground, leaving kernels and salt flying all over the hardwood floors. Just as he was about to get up and grab a broom, Taka pulled on his shirt.
“I just got comfy, deal with it later” Taka pouted slightly, forcing Toru to lean back on the couch for Taka to curl up against.
Toru laughed, giving into Taka and putting an arm around him since Taka was apparently desperate to get comfortable. Turning away from the tv ahead of him, Toru redirected his eyes towards Taka. Each time he laughed, Taka looked toward Toru to see if he was laughing as well. It made Toru’s heart burst with happiness that he hadn't felt in quite some time.
Taka could feel Toru staring at him instead of the movie and tilted his head up slightly. His stomach was filled with a million butterflies as he made eye contact with Toru and smiled. Toru's arm tightened around him as Taka shifted slightly closer to the guitarist.
Toru's scent was invading Taka's nostrils, overpowering the scent of salt and butter of the bowl still on the ground. Taka stared at his lips, like an impulsive thought in the back of his mind that could just. Reach up and kiss Toru so easily from this position. It would be the easiest thing to do. Toru just kept staring at him, and Taka could feel his mind racing as he wondered what exactly Toru was thinking about.
Toru couldn’t stop thinking of kissing Taka. Everything in him was screaming that it was wrong and Taka has a boyfriend, but Toru couldn't shake the feeling of needing to kiss Taka. Besides, Toru wasn't even entirely sure whether Taka and Takeru were even fully on right now. Surely If they were fully together, Taka wouldn't be this close to him, staring at his lips. Unsure what to do, but staring straight at Taka's eyes was beginning to feel awkward, Toru also averted his eyes down to Taka's lips.
Taka gulped as he noticed Toru was also staring at his lips. Letting the impulsive thoughts win, Taka tilted his head up just slightly enough to reach Toru. Pressing his lips against Toru's, Taka felt fireworks go off around them immediately. Smiling as he kissed Toru, Taka had missed this. The butterflies in his stomach being released as he melted together with Toru. Being with Takeru just felt so forced and awkward, but being with Toru again made Taka feel young and alive again.
Toru smiled against Taka's lips as they continued kissing. Placing his hand against Taka's collarbone, leaning further towards Taka as they sat next to each other. Toru could barely believe he was here again with Taka. After Taka and Takeru got back together, Toru figured that was gonna be it.
Takeru
Toru had completely forgot Taka had a boyfriend. Pulling away quickly From Taka, Toru mumbled something before getting up. Cleaning the popcorn off the floor, Toru watched as Taka avoided eye contact with him.
Taka blinked back tears, wiping them as they threatened to fall and got up to leave. He could hear Toru yelling for him and apologising, but Taka didn't want to hear any of that. He knew he had to leave Toru's apartment immediately.
Toru sighed as he watched Taka run out of the apartment. The tv was still playing in the background, Toru turned off the tv as he sat on the couch and moped. He knew he should have just confessed rather than thinking of Takeru.