Chapter Text
Keith was locked in his room for vargas, maybe even half a quintent. He screamed and cried, scrambling and scratching at the doors to let him out, pulling on the air vents in an attempt to break free. The dark corners of the room crept up on him, leaving him feeling panicked and out of breath.
At some point, somebody came by to speak to him quietly through the door, but he couldn’t hear them over his own harsh panting.
Eventually, he slumped in the middle of the room, having dragged the blanket from his bed off and to the floor. The room had been thrashed in his desperate attempt to find anything to break free, and he was exhausted.
He didn’t feel like he could get enough air into his lungs, each breath shallow and loud. He knew, distantly, that he had to calm down, that whatever was happening couldn’t be more important than his baby’s health and safety, but each time he tried to slow his breathing, he panicked again. He grew faint, and darkness crept through his field of sight.
He lost consciousness.
When he awoke, it was to the lights flickering on, the door sliding open, and the evacuation alarm blaring. He pulled himself upright slowly, wincing when he put pressure on his fingertips. In his panic, he had ripped them to shreds. He squirmed out of the mess of blankets he’d made on the floor, and set off down the hall.
The castle was eerily quiet. Nobody was in the lounge or the kitchen. The control room was empty too, although the debris showed evidence of a battle. Keith checked all the main rooms until the only one left was the med bay.
His body was beginning to ache from slamming it against the door, and he was sure he was a mess of bruises, but he had to find out what happened. He wasn’t going back into that room, not if there was a chance he would be locked in again. Even the thought of it made his heart-rate spike.
Just a few corridors away from the med-bay, he caught a flash of colour from the corner of his eye. He turned, a greeting on his lips, hoping it was one of the paladins. Instead, he was met with four little mice. Four little altean mice.
“Oh,” he gasped and crouched down to greet them. “Hello there.”
The chubbiest of the mice ran forward to greet him, sniffing his outstretched hand and standing up to place its front paws on his fingers.
“Oh, how cute,” Keith whispered as the mouse squeaked and it’s friends came to join it. Soon, he had all four in the palm of his hand. “Honey and Emmyth will be delighted to-“
He cut himself off with a sudden and unexpected sob. The mice squealed as his hand shook, but instead of jumping off, they ran up his arm to sit on his shoulders.
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he gasped. One of the mice, the skinny long one, ran down his arms and into his hands. It reached up and he lifted it closer to his face, dubious. It’s tiny paws wiped his tears away.
“Oh,” he choked, and immediately felt silly. All those years in training with father and ‘oh’ was all he had to say. “Thank you,” he whispered, and the mouse squeaked.
The four seemed content to cuddle up in the collar of his robes and his hair, so Keith set back off to the medbay. He was glad that some small part of Altea had been preserved, even if it was what was commonly referred to as pests.
As he neared the medbay, the sound of voices, high and worried, reverberated through the corridors. Keith hurried forward, ignoring the twinge of pain he felt with every step.
The rest of the paladins were huddled around a risen pod. Keith gasped and stepped forwards, only feeling a flicker of guilt at his relief when it became obvious that it was not Allura or Coran in the pod. Instead, the new Blue Paladin lay still and motionless, his stats revealing a major burn on his back.
“What happened? Where are Allura and Coran?” Keith asked turning to face them. The Yellow Paladin refused to meet his gaze, instead gazing imploringly at the ground. The Green one, small though he might be, met his gaze head-on, tilting his chin up in challenge. Shiro was the only one who replied.
“Sendak broke in. He set a bomb, injuring Lance, and pretended to attack the nearby village to separate us. He nearly took the castle, if it weren’t for Pidge and Allura,” Shiro trailed off, his gaze hardening. “We really needed you today, Your Highness. As the Red Paladin, you should have been there to fight with us.”
Keith opened his mouth and took a step back. “I apologize. I was-“
The door to the infirmary slid open, and Allura and Coran stepped in. Coran frowned when he caught sight of Keith, and Keith wondered what he had done wrong now. Allura’s eyes passed over him as if he were a ghost. No, if he were dead, Allura would likely pay more attention to him.
Behind them, the pod beeped. The others rushed forward to catch the Blue Paladin, and Keith slipped into the background. He clenched his hands, his fingers throbbing.
Whatever had happened in the last few hours had solidified the canyon between Keith and the rest of the people on this ship. Something tugged on his hair and he glanced down. At least there were four beings on his side. Seven including his little stars.
Unbidden, his hand fell to his stomach, cradling the gentle bump. The group were making their way to the kitchen with Keith trailing behind them, so he was safe to indulge.
“Let me see your hands, Your Highness.”
Keith startled and nearly fell backwards. At some point, Coran had dropped out of the group to wait for Keith to catch up. He didn’t even know why he was following them, they had made it clear that he was not welcome. When he waited too long to answer, Coran held his own hands out, and Keith shakily placed his in his open palms.
Coran tutted, flipping his hands over and running a gentle finger along his palm. “Oh dear, your poor hands have been through quite the ordeal, hm? I apologize, I fear that was partly my fault. When Sendek planted the bomb, it damaged the Balmera crystal. Against regulations, we did not have a backup one in storage. The Yellow Paladin and I had to make the journey to get one. I should have made sure there was a spare one, so this exact situation did not happen. Come, let’s get some cream on these and wrap them up.”
Keith pulled his hands from Coran’s grasp, “It’s hardly your fault an evil galra commander decided to attack the castle, nor is it your fault I happened to be in my quarters when it occurred.”
Coran hummed, but his face was still drawn and taunt. “I should have made sure you were okay, my boy.”
“I am okay,” he lied, as he couldn’t bear to see such a face on the ever-cheerful Coran. It suited him like black at a funeral parlour or pink at a wedding. “Just a little scratched up, but okay.”
Coran studied him for a moment, and Keith thought he was going to argue, but instead, he sighed. “If you insist, Your Highness. But please, don’t hesitate to come to me for help.”
“Of course,” Keith replied, and the two started walking to catch up.
By the time they had made it back to the kitchen, the paladins were just finishing their versions of the last few hours. The group dispersed quickly to wash up and rest. Keith tried to catch up to Allura, but she was gone too quickly.
Keith found himself back at his quarters, but as soon as the doors opened again he felt ill. Even with the lights turned on, he still felt as though the shadows were reaching for him. He darted into their closet and grabbed one of Lotor’s sleep clothes, and their spare blankets, and bolted out of the room.
That room was suffocating before, with lingering memories of happier times, but now it was claustrophobic and Keith couldn’t bear to be there longer than a second. Instead, he settled on the couch to rest, with the four mice cuddling on his stomach.
He slept fitfully, but was awoke in the early hours of the morning by Allura, turning the lights on. Her wide eyes met his, before she turned to flee.
“Allura!” he cried, “Please, I just want to speak to you!”
He saw the moment where she tensed, debating whether to just leave, but she slumped, and stayed.
She turned to face him again, although she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. That was alright, it was better than the alternative.
Now that she was here, Keith didn’t know where to start. He had so many things he wanted to say, but his mind was blank.
“Why aren’t you sleeping in your quarters?” Allura asked.
“It’s too painful,” Keith said, he couldn’t bring himself to explain the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’, just hoped she would understand.
“Why did you ban me from speaking about my family? Why did you send Coran to tell me?” Keith asked. It was as good a place to start as any.
“Keith, you must understand, the humans have had no contact with the universe. We cannot let them know of our ties to the galra, lest they think less of us!”
“No, Allura, it is you who must understand. If they think less of us for that, it is a reflection on their character, not ours. Zarkon was a good man, in the beginning. Father did nothing wrong in trusting him. Lotor was a good man. I do not regret marrying him. Whether you like it or not, our ties to the galra – my ties to them – will become prevalent, and I think you have more to worry about when the team discover you have lied to them. I am galra, whether you like it or not. My children are galra, my husband was galra. You cannot erase that part of us. It is not yours to erase.”
“Keith, this is for your own good. Please, I just want to keep you safe!” Allura cried.
“Safe? You want to keep me safe? Allura, I am twenty-two decapheobes old! I am a mother, a husband, a prince. A widower! I was the altean diplomat on Daibazaal, I was set to inherit the throne with my husband! It is not your job to keep me safe, I am not the child you found crying in the woods anymore. If my presence here bothers you that much, then I shall leave, as soon as I find my children. You may fly the Red Lion, your quintessence is similar enough to Fathers.”
“Keith, don’t do this, please. I’m sorry! I was scared that they would turn on us!”
"I'm scared too. I'm scared that I'll never see my little stars again. I'm scared that I'll lose my only sister. I'm scared that I'll be killed before my children can be released, and they will reawake orphans. But Father always taught us that a good ruler did not let fear influence their decisions. If you truly believe that hiding my blood, my family, from the paladins is the only way that they will accept us, then I want nothing to do with them.”
When it seemed like Allura had nothing else to say, he left, before he could say something harmful that would shade their relationship forever.