1 - 20 of 422 Bookmarks
Pages Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Eddie comes home late one night after drinking and street fighting. He didn't expect Buck to be there. He didn't expect Buck to start berating him with questions and worry. He also didn't expect to still be so angry with Buck for leaving him and Christopher during the lawsuit and so he does something that he will forever regret.
In which a drunk and angry Eddie hits Buck and everyone finds out.
-
Bookmark Tags:
Bookmark Notes:
So… I relate to this a lot, extremely cathartic and what rlly struck me about bucks situation being so different than mine (besides the unapologetic perpetrator/lack of support from the ppl in power), is how he doesn’t sink into the shameful victim keeping it to himself, or we’ll… buck tries too, so did I, but the people he let’s in don’t let that happen and just… even tho I was living trauma response n thus incapable of it, I can’t help wondering if I had somehow made a big loud deal about the creep when he harassed me, if things would have turned out better..
My life is in turmoil and I’m calling the crisis line constantly with this issue, bc the powers that be have made me feel so hopeless and isolated and alone.
So, idk what reading this means exactly, but it feels nice? Maybe like hope? I would love to think things could go anywhere near this kind of wellness for me in life, I already have my dream snake and I’m living with great friends who aren’t emo/psych abusive narcissists like my last one, but I’m also so much more depressed and NSSI bc of the work sitch, and then there’s all the regular work related stress.
Idk man.. idk
..“It was an accident.” He then finds himself muttering.
“But was it really Buck? I mean, I told myself the same thing when it was Doug, and Mom said it too when it was Dad” Maddie points out. “Eddie did it once, what makes you think he won’t do it again?”
Buck doesn’t say anything because deep down, he knows Maddie is right. Their mom did make that excuse with their dad, and Maddie went around and said the same thing about Doug. And as much as he trusts and loves Eddie, he’s not so sure how far this rage he’s been harboring with go and if Buck isn’t careful, this won’t be the last time it happens.
“But what if I give him another chance? Does that make me stupid?”
“No.” Maddie quickly says. “It just makes you a kind person. But as soon as it does happen again, and you forgive him again, it will start to cycle and that’s when it gets bad.”
Buck nods, biting his lip.
“I don’t think he’ll do it again, he’s not like dad, he’s not like Doug… I just feel stupid for letting this happen though.”
“You aren’t stupid and there is nothing for you to feel ashamed about, Eddie should be ashamed for hurting you, it’s his fault, not yours.”
“I just—I just needed someone to talk to,” Buck says as he finally feels like he can speak more than a few words again. “When it happened…when Eddie hit me…” He forces himself to say those words because he needs to be able to get past this with him eventually. “When Eddie hit me, I was suddenly back at home with Dad and—and it sucked Maddie.” He says as a whimper escapes his throat. “I thought I had escaped that after I left, but then it all came back and I was madder at him for triggering old memories than I was mad at him for hitting me.” He can’t stop the next round of tears that come and so he doesn’t.
…
But Maddie can’t be angry, at least not yet, bc she needs to help Buck first.
….Eddie decides to take a few more steps closer so that he’s standing in front of Buck who’s slow but meticulous at removing his makeup. Eddie then decides to sit down in front of him. And now, the only thing between them is Buck’s makeup bag.
Buck stops working and looks up at Eddie with sad eyes, and in entirely different circumstances Eddie would take hold of Buck’s wrists and pull him in for a hug to rid his face of the frown and effectively replace it with the smile he’s grown so fond of over the last year.
But things have changed and Eddie is now the reason Buck is upset so he knows he can’t do what he wants to do, so he opts for a more subtle and smaller approach at physical comfort.
“May I?” Eddie quietly asks as he takes a makeup wipe in his hand and brings it up to Buck’s face. He doesn’t make contact yet, though, and instead waits for Buck’s consent to follow through.
…
“I mean…I guess, maybe I’m just a little shaken up because what happened between us triggered something in me I thought I had gotten away from…”
“Being triggered isn’t anything to be ashamed of Buck.” Bobby tells him but then he frowns and asks, “have you told Eddie this yet?”no..
“You know Bobby, I told you all about my shitty dad the night..”
“I do know, and that’s why I’m letting you call the shots here kid.”
Buck hums, a grateful hum towards Bobby’s understanding of the situation and for allowing him to take control of said situation himself so that he can’t spiral so far out of control that he ends up doing something stupid again.
..
But because Buck asked for normal, Bobby puts Buck and Eddie together on the assignment to go into the burning house together while Hen and Chimney do their usual job of checking on the victims’ vitals and packing them into the ambulance
-
Bookmark Notes:
Published:
2019-10-29
Completed:
2021-02-06
Words:
20,828
Chapters:
6/6
Comments:
113
Kudos:
1,795
Bookmarks:
405
Hits:
44,587Treat You Better
ShootingStar13
Summary:Eddie comes home late one night after drinking and street fighting. He didn't expect Buck to be there. He didn't expect Buck to start berating him with questions and worry. He also didn't expect to still be so angry with Buck for leaving him and Christopher during the lawsuit and so he does something that he will forever regret.
In which a drunk and angry Eddie hits Buck and everyone finds out.
Notes: