Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Mom?”

“Hmm?” Kara says absent-mindedly, halfway through typing a sentence and only half listening. She can hear Conner sigh, but she also needs to complete this thought and several others in a coherent fashion before 9pm, or her new boss will make her life a living hell.

What Cat was doing hiring Snapper, Kara has no idea. But he’s been putting pressure on the journalist staff like never before, and more often than not it means working until midnight these days.

“When will Momma be home?”

Conner sounds despondent. Kara pauses in her work, seized with sudden guilt as she looks at his morose face across the kitchen island.

The truth is, Kara has no idea when Lena will be home. L-Corp was rocked by a mild scandal about three months ago – an ex-employee leaked an unfinished tech project, and the resulting wave of people attempting to use and capitalize on it before it was safe meant that people got hurt. No matter how much Kara tries to reassure her, Lena seems to feel that it’s her own personal responsibility to both fix the company’s image and alter the technology to be safer; and while Kara understands, they hardly have time to spend with Conner or each other these days. Lena works until all hours, sometimes sleeping at the office and falling back to her old habits out of stress, and with her own new boss and responsibilities Kara is hardly home enough herself to try to fix it.

Kara scoots her chair closer, putting a comforting hand over Conner’s. “I’m not sure, sweetie. She had to work late tonight.”

“She works late every night,” Conner grumbles, tugging his hand away and turning back to his homework. “I practically live with Grandma.”

Kara tries not to flinch. She knows he isn’t trying to hurt her – he just misses Lena, like Kara does. But he’s right.

“She has to,” Kara says gently, trying to reassure herself as much as her son, and Conner screws his mouth up into a twist in a way that Kara knows he got from her. Lena has commented on it more than once, always with a fond expression, and it makes Kara wish more than ever that she was here.

As if Conner has read her mind he sighs, tapping his pencil on the page of his workbook.

“I miss her.”

Kara smiles sadly, throwing a one-armed hug around his shoulders and kissing the top of his ruffled hair.

“I do too, kiddo.”

The truth in her voice seems to make him feel better. He goes back to his homework, and Kara tries her best to get back into the swing of her article – but after Conner’s admission, the only thing she can think about is how hard the last few months have been.

Ever since things went south at L-Corp, it hasn’t just been their physical intimacy that’s disappeared. It’s been all intimacy. In fact she’s hardly seen Lena at all since this all started – Lena leaves before Kara wakes up, and is often home past midnight if she comes home at all. The most contact she has with her wife is a kiss on the forehead when she leaves in the morning and the occasional mid-day text message, and it’s starting to approach touch starvation.

After the fifth time reading the exact same sentence in her article, Kara finally saves the file and exits the document. For tonight, Snapper can go fuck himself. Kara needs some quality time with her wife.

“You know what?” Kara says, shutting her laptop decisively. “I’m going to go pick her up, so she doesn’t fall asleep at the office again. Will you be okay if I drop you off with Auntie Alex for a while?”

“I’m eight now, you know. I can stay home alone for an hour.”

“I know, I know, you’re practically an adult. Pack up your homework, okay?”

Conner grumbles about having to pack up and move locations, but she can see a little bit of his brightness return at the idea of having his mom home early from work. There’s a skip in his step when she drops him off with Kelly, and there’s a skip in Kara’s when she stops to grab some dinner to bring with her.

Lena’s secretary is gone for the night when she steps out of the elevator, it being 8pm, and under the steel door Kara can see a soft light betraying its occupants’ whereabouts. Steeling her nerves, Kara knocks lightly and pushes the door open.

The office she finds beyond is almost unrecognizable. Lena generally keeps her spaces clean unless she’s in a spiral, and the clutter on every surface of the room right now betrays exactly how stressed she is. Papers are scattered across the desk, Lena’s blazer and shoes are haphazardly discarded near the couch, and Lena herself is on the floor. Her knees are folded underneath her as she squints down at two tablets and several file folders, tapping her stylus against her lip.

It reminds Kara of the days before they were even a couple. When they were just best friends hopelessly in love with each other, and Kara would knock on Lena’s office door to bring her the breakfast she inevitably skipped before she headed to an early morning interview only to find the brunette asleep at her desk on top of a pile of papers, or laid out across the couch with a computer on her stomach. Lena always tended towards unhealthy working habits, but Kara had managed to coax her out of it, especially once Conner came around.

Apparently, this whole situation has triggered some kind of relapse.

“Lena?” she says softly, stepping into the room, and she jumps when Lena startles almost violently and drops her tablet with a loud crack.

“Jesus, Kara!” Lena snaps, a hand pressed to her chest as she looks up at her with wide eyes. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t sneak up,” Kara says quietly, trying her best not to feel wounded at her wife’s tone. She taps on the door, before stepping away from it and towards Lena. “I knocked.”

Lena looks slightly chagrined. Her hand leaves her chest and instead picks up the tablet - she inspects the crack in the corner, and upon deeming it still functional, sets it down more gingerly and rubs a tired hand over her face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, I just wasn’t expecting anyone. I told you I had to work late.”

“I brought dinner,” Kara says hopefully, holding up the takeout bag, but Lena only looks back down at her work.

“I’m not really hungry.”

And then, inexplicably, Kara feels herself starting to cry.

It’s not even that Lena snapped at her. She’s under a lot of pressure, Kara knows that, just as she knows Lena will leave a jumbo box of frosted donuts on the counter for her tomorrow with a genuine apology note. She can be the rock her wife lashes against, at least until this whole thing blows over.

No, what’s making her cry isn’t Lena’s mood. It’s that, even though they’re in the same room for what feels like the first time in weeks, Kara can feel the distance between them like a physical gulf. Lena is still focused on her work, they probably won’t share a bed tonight, and Kara feels suddenly and cripplingly lonely.

It feels like they’re on the precipice of where they used to be, that place of distance and disconnection, and she’s not sure she can handle the possibility of going there again.

“Kara, oh my god. Are you okay?”

Lena is on her feet and cradling Kara’s face in an instant, her own stress seemingly gone in the face of the emotional outburst Kara couldn’t predict. Her thumbs rub away tears Kara hadn’t realized were falling, and a small sob claws its way out of her chest before she can stop it.

“I’m fine –“ she tries to rasp, but Lena tugs her down to the floor to sit among the papers anyways, still looking deeply concerned.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Lena says, her voice quavering. “I know I shouldn’t have, I’ve been so stressed but you don’t deserve –“

“It’s not that.”

Lena’s brow furrows.

“It isn’t?”

“No, it’s –“ Kara hesitates, sniffling and wiping at her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. “I’m scared, Lena.”

“You’re scared?” Lena says. She’s still holding Kara’s face in her hands, her thumbs gently brushing Kara’s cheeks. “Scared of what, love?”

The intimacy of the gesture is calming, as is the familiar pet name. For the moment Lena is out of her own world and firmly here with Kara. Kara can feel the warm metal of Lena’s wedding ring on her jaw, and it grounds her enough to speak her mind.

“I’m scared we’re drifting apart again.”

Lena’s face softens into understanding, and she presses their foreheads together as the source of Kara’s fear washes over her.

“Oh, Kara.”

“We’ve been in this place before, and we worked so hard to get out of it, and I’m so scared that – that we’re going to – I can’t lose you again –“ Kara can feel her chest tightening, her breath leaving her in the overwhelming wave of emotion Lena’s presence brought, and Lena immediately moves in to soothe.

“Hey, hey, come here,” Lena croons, pulling her in for a kiss. It’s long and deep, and Kara’s face is still wet but Lena doesn’t seem to care. She doesn’t let Kara pull away, kissing her deeper and deeper by the second and tugging on her collar until they’re lying flush together on the tile floor.

“Aren’t you busy?” Kara manages to gasp, while Lena is fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. “You don’t have to –“

“I want to,” Lena counters, finally tugging at the last two buttons until they snap and scatter. “I miss you. I want you. Please?”

Even now, as Lena is slipping her hands under Kara’s open shirt and spreading them over her back, Kara can’t help the way that doubt gnaws at her stomach. Doubt, and guilt.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because I’m upset,” Kara protests, holding firm over Lena’s body in an impromptu plank. Lena tugs at her collar again, but Kara doesn’t budge.

“Darling,” Lena says, her voice gentle but firm, “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. You know that.”

Kara finally lets Lena pull her down, pressing their bodies together, but she can’t help but get one last confirmation.

“You’re sure?”

Lena moves her hands from Kara’s collar, sliding them up to cup either side of her neck and pull her into a heartfelt kiss.

“I always want you,” She murmurs against Kara’s lips, and she can feel crimson lipstick smearing across her own mouth. It’s a familiar feeling, and one that never fails to light a fire in her. “You just reminded me how much.”

Lena’s nails dig into the back of her neck, and finally every fibre in Kara’s body melts into the contact. It’s a blessed relief having Lena’s hands on her again, having lips dragging down her neck with intent, and as Lena slides a hand down to tug at Kara’s belt buckle she’s hit with a sudden, intense need like never before.

Gently she grabs Lena’s wrists, pressing both of them into the floor with a single hand and using the other to pull Lena’s thighs apart and slip into the space.

“I want to go first,” Kara says, trying to project the level of her desire into her voice. “I need – I need to give. Please.”

Lena nods, her hands flexing but not struggling against the hold. She hooks a calf around Kara’s waist, and Kara can feel her relaxing. Letting Kara take the reins.

“Okay. Whatever you need.”

Letting all her breath out in a relieved whoosh, Kara lets go of Lena’s hands and presses her face into her collarbone. Lena’s warm skin is bare here above the neckline of her blouse, and she takes a few deep, steadying breaths. She can smell perfume and maybe some coffee that Lena spilled on her shirt earlier, undercut by the familiar scent of skin, and it’s comforting enough that she pushes past the surge of emotion.

She can’t fix the things Lena has been working on or repair the rift between them by herself, but she can do one thing. She can take care of her wife.

Really, she should move them to the couch. She can’t get either of them naked on the cold floor without discomfort, and she desperately wants to feel Lena’s skin against hers. But even more desperate is her need to make Lena feel good as quickly as possible, before this moment breaks, and so instead she starts her descent down Lena’s body and ignores the twinge of pain in her joints. She spreads Lena’s thighs with a knee, pulling her blouse free from the waist of her skirt to trail open-mouthed kisses over her belly, and Lena’s hands leave their spot over her head to land in Kara’s hair. Perhaps anticipating what Kara is planning on doing Lena doesn’t undo Kara’s ponytail, but she does loosen it, sinking a hand into the strands to scratch at Kara’s scalp in a way that makes her want to purr.

“Kara,” Lena gasps, as Kara impatiently pushes her skirt up to bunch around her waist. Her legs spread wide, her hand tightening in Kara’s hair. “Yes.”

“Say it again,” Kara whispers fervently, pulling Lena’s underwear off and abandoning it the moment it’s free of her ankles. She can’t explain why exactly she needs to hear Lena say her name more than she need air at the moment, but she does. “Please.”

Lena, perfect as always, knows exactly what she means without asking.

“Kara,” She murmurs, as Kara herself kisses a reverent path down her inner thigh. “Kara, Kara –“

She cuts off with a gasp when Kara reaches her destination, hooking a leg around her shoulder and digging in with her heel. But even so, it’s enough.

Lena is totally unshaven, a testament to how stressed she’s been, and Kara relishes the texture of it on her lips as she applies her mouth where Lena needs it. She noses through the wiry hair, laying a kiss on Lena’s clit – and Lena doesn’t direct her, doesn’t beg or demand. She just opens herself up to Kara’s mouth, letting her take what she needs.

It’s soft, and vanilla, and perfect. Less their usual hunger and need and more pure, distilled affection, the deep love Kara holds being played out across Lena’s skin. Kara is tuned in to Lena’s every minute movement, every twitch and sigh and shift, every bit of her energy directed at reacting to Lena’s needs before she can even think to voice them. The slow pace is everything she needs, and she spends long minutes gently reacquainting herself with Lena’s body until the brunette is arching off the floor, sweaty and trembling, twitching into Kara’s mouth with an uneven cry.

Kara’s eyes are watering before it’s even over.

She was hesitant to move from her place between Lena’s thighs before, but she’s even more so now that she’s openly crying again. It’s not the deep sobs that wracked her before, at least – it’s tears of relief, like the depth of it is too much for her body to contain.

Lena seems to understand. She just strokes Kara’s hair gently as she catches her breath, murmuring affirmations and love under her breath until she can collect herself.

When she finally feels capable of speech again, she presses her forehead into Lena’s belly and mumbles into her pelvis.

“That felt so good.”

“You didn’t even come.” She can hear Lena’s smile in her voice, even if she can’t see it. Kara shrugs, nuzzling further into soft skin. She has a need to be as close as possible, even if it means burrowing into the core of her.

“But I already feel better,” Kara counters, her voice still muffled.

Lena chuckles, and she tugs firmly on Kara’s shirt until she finally abandons her spot and climbs back up Lena’s body. She settles in the crook of Lena’s shoulder, snuggling close and ignoring the coldness of the floor, just for a moment. Lena seems content to do so as well – she just pulls Kara closer, kissing the top of her head.

“I needed this,” she murmurs into Kara’s hair, and the genuine seriousness in her tone makes Kara move to peer up at her.

“Needed what? Me barging into your office and crying on you?” Kara asks, and Lena laughs more deeply. Kara gets a flash of white teeth and double dimples, Lena’s eyes crinkling at the corners with her real laugh, and that more than anything is enough to settle any vestige of worry that still sits in her chest.

“Actually, yes,” Lena says with a happy sigh, looking down into Kara’s face with that soft, open expression Kara loves. “I get myself so worked up, so tied up in knots, and I forget what’s important. You, and Conner. Our family. You made me remember.”

Lena’s eyes are wet too, now, and Kara breaks the moment to draw her into a soft kiss.

“Don’t forget sex,” she whispers, smiling into Lena’s mouth. “Sex is important, too.”

Lena laughs again, throwing her head back and pushing playfully at Kara’s shoulder. “Okay, yes, and sex. Sex is extremely important.”

Kara rolls away with the momentum, giggling as her head slips from Lena’s shoulder and hits the floor, only to be pulled back by the front of her shirt. Lena is still smiling brightly when she settles again, and her expression is one of pure fondness as she strokes Kara’s jaw.

“I’m going to start delegating,” Lena says, her voice definitive. “There are people I can trust who can do some of this for me. I promise, we won’t drift apart again.”

Lena is true to her word. After that night she reduces her work hours to something more manageable, sharing responsibility with Sam and other trusted execs, and when Conner reaches the end of 3^rd grade they’re still going strong. It’s not without roadbumps, by any means - but they make the map together.

Some roadbumps are bigger than others.

“I have half a mind to pull him out and homeschool him.”

“Babe,” Kara says, clearly trying to keep her tone even, “It’s just standardized testing. Everyone has to do it.”

They might be in a car, waiting for Conner to get out of cello practice, but Kara can clearly see that Lena is pacing the floor spiritually if not physically. She’s gesticulating wildly, expressing her disdain for Conner’s impending mandatory 3^rd grade testing, and Kara is just along for the ride.

“He shouldn’t have to do it! Standardized testing is a crock of shit, it doesn’t take into account different learning types and yet it paves his entire future, the fact that they still do it is practically barbaric –“

“Lena!” Kara interrupts, grabbing at Lena’s flailing hands and holding them gently, “Please calm down.”

At Kara’s touch, Lena deflates.

“I just – I want him to have the best life he can,” she says more quietly, and Kara softens at the vulnerability in her voice.

“He will,” Kara assures her, slowly letting her hands go. “He’s going to do fine, and if he doesn’t, that’s okay. Academia isn’t for everyone. And even if he does go that route, third grade testing isn’t going to factor into his college applications.”

Lena drums her fingers on her own thigh, gnawing at her lower lip. The lipstick is long since rubbed off in the midst of her ranting, and Kara wants very badly to kiss it.

“Should we – I don’t know, tutor him? Help him prepare? Or does that make me just like my mother? Hell bent on success at any cost, even if it scars my child and saddles him with lifelong inferiority issues –“ Lena’s voice gets higher and more panicked the longer she lets the train of thought run, and Kara tries her earlier tactic again – this time she slips a hand behind Lena’s head and gently cups the back of her neck, grounding her in the moment through touch. Lena quiets immediately, looking at Kara with wide, wet eyes.

“You are not your mother,” Kara says firmly, maintaining eye contact so that Lena absorbs the sentiment. “Your concern is based on Conner’s wellbeing, not how he reflects on your image.”

It’s been a while since Lena has gone into a parental panic like this. She’s always harboured fears of parenthood, fears that her lack of positive maternal figures will mean her own methods will turn her into the monster that Lillian was, but it had taken only a few weeks of having Conner before her fears started to ease. Now, it seems, the introduction of academics into their son’s life has brought them all roaring back.

“Then why am I like this?” Lena asks, the self-loathing bleeding into her tone. “Why is this bothering me so much?”

“Because you’ve run into something you can’t fix by yourself.”

Lena manages a short laugh, wiping at her tears before they can escape. “Are you saying I have control issues?”

“I think that’s well established,” Kara says matter-of-factly. Lena laughs again, and this time her smile reaches her eyes for a moment.

“So, what do I do?” she asks, letting her gaze settle out the windshield. “Just…be stressed until Conner takes the tests? I don’t want my behaviour to make him feel pressured.”

“Maybe you need to focus on things you can control,” Kara suggests, a whole host of ideas starting to take form in her head.

“After what we went through a few months ago, Sam might actually force a vote of non-confidence if I get any more involved at work.”

Kara shrugs, her voice laden with intent. “It doesn’t have to be at work. You can exercise control of yourself. And then…give it to someone else.”

“Clearly not, considering I can’t control how I’m acting right – oh,” Lena says, her voice getting breathy as she realizes what Kara means. “Oh. You mean -”

“In bed.”

Lena laughs fully, her mood disappearing with Kara’s blunt approach. “Tactful, darling.”

“I mean, we both know you can maintain and relinquish control there, right?” Kara says, her hands flexing on the steering wheel. “Maybe practicing would help.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I have a few ideas,” Kara says, a plan solidifying the more interested Lena looks. “But only if you think it will actually help.”

“…what ideas?”

[Lena]: I can’t believe you convinced me to do this.

Kara grins down at her phone, glancing surreptitiously around the bullpen before she types out a reply to Lena’s text.

I hardly had to convince you. You seemed pretty enthusiastic about it this morning

The message serves to remind Kara of exactly what it is that Lena is talking about – namely, the fact that Lena is currently wearing a princess plug at work.

It had been Kara’s idea initially, sure, but the moment she suggested it Lena had been completely on board. She’d been fidgety all night, her energy finally directed into anticipation instead of fixation on Conner’s academics - and this morning when they woke up early to actually put the idea into motion, Lena had been bent over and naked next to the lube dispenser before Kara even got the door locked.

When another message arrives, Kara’s heart rate picks up so swiftly that she’s surprised nobody has noticed.

[Lena]: This morning I didn’t realize how difficult this would be. I can’t stop thinking about getting home with you.

Kara’s mouth goes dry. It’s all she’s been thinking about, too, and knowing exactly how tortured Lena must be right now is only making it worse.

Me too. Do you want the plug to stay in, or do you want the strap?

There’s a long pause after that message. She can almost feel Lena thinking, all the way across town. But finally those three dots pop up, and Lena’ answer is exactly what Kara was hoping it would be.

[Lena]: Both.

Kara exhales shakily. If she hadn’t trouble concentrating before this, she certainly does now. While Lena has taken both Kara’s fingers and a variety of plugs more than once since their first excursion in that department, she hasn’t yet suggested that they try it in combination with classic penetration, and the idea of doing it for the first time has Kara’s palms sweating.

I’ll be there soon. Just a little longer, babe

It had taken every last scrap of Kara’s willpower to ease the plug inside her this morning without taking it any further, especially when she could hear Lena chanting whispered pleas into the pillow. But the whole point of the exercise is control, so despite every atom of her body screaming at her to sink three fingers into her wife and fuck her until she’s not stressed anymore, she had held back. She got dressed, and watched Lena struggle to do the same, and has spent every second since thinking about what’s coming.

The plan is, Lena will wear the plug for as long as is healthy – until lunch – and then they’ll both take a half-day from work to go home and take care of it. Both of their schedules are already accommodated, the plan is in motion, and all Kara has to do is wait until 1pm before she has a few sweet, childless hours to guide Lena through her current struggle.

When her work phone rings and the caller ID lists Conner’s school, all of the anticipation turns to dread.

When she enters the principal’s office, the first thing she sees is Lena’s back. She’s sitting ramrod straight, her legs clenched together rather than folded, and Kara can see the tension almost quivering in her body. By rights they should be at home right now, in their bed with Kara slowly taking her apart, but instead Conner is slouched in the seat next to Lena with a big red shiner over his left eye.

“Conner!” Kara exclaims, sitting in the seat on his other side and tilting his face up to examine the forming bruise. “What happened, sweetie?”

The principal is the one to answer Kara’s question. “Conner was in a fight today.”

“What?” Kara says, looking back and forth between Lena’s stony face and the principal’s frown. “A fight? Conner doesn’t fight.”

“I’m sorry, mom,” Conner whispers, his lower lip quivering. Before Kara can ask, the principal has cut in and reached out for a brisk handshake.

“Mrs. Danvers, I’m Mr. Elis,” he says, sitting back in his chair and folding his hands together. Something about his attitude rubs Kara the wrong way in a way she can’t explain. “You can call me Mike. I’ve already laid the situation out to your wife, but the long and short of it is that your son –“

“Now that Kara’s here, why don’t we give Conner a chance to explain his side?”

Lena’s voice is clipped, but it’s enough for Conner to launch into an explanation.

“I don’t mean to, mom, it was – Cory was being a bully, he called my friend a bad name because his mom is Chinese and then said he would beat us up if we told,” Conner babbles, clinging to Kara’s shirt like he’s worried he’s going to be taken away. “And the teachers wouldn’t listen, and then he gave my friend a swirlie and he was going to give me one and so I told him not to and then he said that – that – “ Conner’s voice is failing, big heartbreaking tears rolling down his scared face, and Kara kisses the top of his head.

“What did he say?” she murmurs, and Conner answers after a few sniffles.

“He said that my parents were dykes. And then I just got so mad, and he wouldn’t let my friend go, so I hit him.”

Kara can see, in real time, the abject rage that gathers around Lena like a thundercloud. It practically crackles in her eyes, and this Mike has no idea what’s coming.

All Kara can do is put a comforting arm around Conner, and buckle in for the ride.

“This is the sort of thing you’re allowing to happen in your school?” Lena asks, her voice cold and dangerous. Kara knows that voice – it’s the one she uses at work, the one that allowed her to successfully take over her family’s company, clear out the board, and completely redirect it before the age of 25. It’s a voice that Kara knows could bring the world to its knees, if given the opportunity.

Mr. Elis never stood a chance.

“Regardless of the impetus, Conner was still the instigator of the violence –“ he tries to argue, but Lena interrupts. She doesn’t even have to raise her voice to be effective – she’s quiet, but deadly.

“He was defending himself and his friend.”

“We try to teach our students that violence is never the –“

“Do you also teach your students not to hurl slurs at their classmates?” Lena interrupts, not letting him finish a sentence. Kara has seen her do this before, years ago when she happened to be visiting Lena at work during a conference call, and she can’t deny that the power behind it still makes her knees a little weak. “Is dunking heads in toilets and making threats not considered violence to you?”

“That’s not what this conversation is about – “

That seems to be the last straw. Slowly and carefully Lena stands to her full height, 6 inch heels included, and looks down on the poor man behind the desk both figuratively and literally. It’s clear that Lena is livid, but she’s also on the attack for another reason – she needs this meeting to be over. Kara can only imagine how distracting it must be to be this close to relief and yet unable to get it, and it affects her more than she’d like to admit.

“If you aren’t going to bring the other child in here and have him disciplined just as harshly for what he did, you aren’t going to punish my son, either,” Lena says, her voice measured and even as she leans forward and braces her hands on the man's desk. To anyone else, she would sound absolutely venomous – but Kara can hear the emotion behind it. Lena is angry, but she’s also worried for their son – and on top of all of that, she’s struggling not to show that she’s been wearing a princess plug for the last several hours in anticipation of being ravaged.

From the outside her façade is pristine, and Kara can’t help the surge of pride she feels at her wife’s self-control.

“Mrs. Luthor –“ Mr. Elis stammers, hurriedly rearranging things on his desk to try and maintain some semblance of control of the situation. Lena doesn’t let him.

“You and I both know that all it will take is a few calls to the right people, and you lose your job for overlooking targeted bullying,” Lena says quietly, calm and even and completely in control. “You’re going to discipline the other child, and in the meantime I’m walking out right now with my son. He’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

There are a few moments of silent stand-off, Lena glaring down and the principal trying valiantly to hold up – but he breaks eventually, his shoulders sagging under the weight of Lena’s disapproval.

“Cory’s father is the Deputy Mayor,” he finally admits reluctantly, and Lena’s smile is positively lethal. Kara could tell from the beginning of the meeting that something had to be holding the man back from taking real action, and clearly this is it. He’s afraid of professional repercussions for punishing the son of a city official.

Lena has won, and she knows it.

“That’s not my problem, is it? My problem is you, and your half-assed version of nepotistic punishment.”

Mike can’t even look her in the eye. He stares down at his hands like a scolded child, looking even more chastened than Conner, and under Lena’s scrutiny he caves like a soufflé.

“I’ll – I’ll call him in now.”

“Wonderful. Kara?”

Lena whirls in a graceful half-circle and storms into the hallway, her heels clicking furiously, and Kara stands to follow. She takes Conner’s hand in her own and, without sparing a look for the shell-shocked principal, leads him towards the door.

The drive home is almost silent. Kara takes the driver’s seat, and she can see both Lena and Conner fidgeting in her peripheral vision. For entirely different reasons, obviously, but the similarity warms her heart. Almost in unison they fuss with their hands, spreading fingers out and worrying at the palm with a thumb.

It’s Conner that finally breaks the quiet.

“Am I in trouble?” he says from his seat, his tiny voice quavering. Kara immediately takes a hand off the wheel and reaches back to put it on his leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, honey. You aren’t in trouble, and we understand why you did what you did. Later tonight we’re all going to have a conversation about how we can handle things like this. We’re proud of you. Right, Lena?”

Lena nods, and she manages a real smile at Conner. “You stuck up for yourself and your friend. You aren’t in trouble.”

His relief is obvious. He sags in his seat, and the periodic sniffles she’s heard from his direction since they left die down.

“Okay. Are we going home?”

“You’re going to go to Grandma’s until your momma and I are done work, and then we’re going to come pick you up,” Kara clarifies, and Lena’s hands pause when she hears the little white lie. “Okay?”

Conner nods, looking somewhat excited for the first time since she stepped into the office today. He gives them both a hard, tight hug when they drop him off, and then Kara attempts to break land-speed records as she races back to the house with a white-knuckled Lena in the passenger seat.

The moment the front door closes, Lena melts like a popsicle. She leans back against it with a whimper, her knees clearly starting to give out, and without hesitation Kara scoops her up as gently as possible and stumbles them both into the bedroom.

Kara expects a mad scramble, when she finally gets them both to the bed. She expects the furious removal of clothing, and for Lena to ask her to get the strap they’ve both been thinking about all day. But Lena just stretches out on her back, holding her hands above her head and waiting. Her legs are spread and her thighs are quivering, Kara can see it under her bunched-up skirt, but she has her eyes firmly closed and her teeth sunk into her lip.

She’s giving Kara control. It hits her deep in her gut, spiraling down to make her throb with want. Lena is giving herself over completely.

With that control in hand, Kara takes the lead. She does scramble to get her clothes off, as well as Lena’s – and when they’re both stripped bare, she tears apart their box of toys looking for the one she knows will suit the moment perfectly. It’s smaller than most, but with the additional penetration of the plug, it’s the best option for their first time doing this.

“Flip over for me?” Kara says distractedly as she fastens the buckles, and Lena complies immediately. She doesn’t scramble to do it like she might usually, but Kara can see why – when she braces her knees and tilts her ass in the air to bare herself to Kara’s gaze, she can see the glittering jewel on the end of the plug sitting proudly where she left it this morning. It’s still slick with lube, and Kara can only imagine how the movement of it throughout the day must have driven her insane.

Kara finishes up the harness as quickly as she can when her hands are shaking with anticipation.

“Look at you,” Kara murmurs, as she slips the toy into the ring and climbs onto the bed to take hold of Lena’s hips. “So beautiful. You’re so ready for me.”

Lena lets out a breathy whimper, which turns into a full-bodied moan when she feels the toy nudging between her legs. She presses herself back into it, clearly looking for friction or fullness, but Kara holds her hips still.

The volume of Lena’s moan at Kara’s iron grip makes it clear that this idea was the right choice.

Kara has to admit – as much as she wants to give her wife relief as soon as possible, part of her loves the teasing. Loves the way Lena reacts when she takes a handful of lube to reapply, when she runs a thumb over the jewel and presses it gently or twists it to create friction. The visual of it is stunning, Lena’s pale skin flushed red from her neck all the way down her back, and the blue gem stands in stark contrast to the skin around it. She can see the way Lena clenches every time she touches it, can hear the tiny, suppressed noises that she’s muffling in the mattress.

She might not be saying it with her words, but Lena is begging to be fucked with every movement of her body.

Even with her attention focused significantly lower, Kara can’t help but notice the way Lena keeps looking back at her. She’s twisting her neck, arching up and grabbing at Kara’s thigh as an anchor, like she can’t get close enough.

Kara knows what she needs. And since it’s something she finds herself wanting too, she wastes no time in suggesting it.

“Do you want to turn over so you can see me?”

She’s hardly finished the question before Lena is nodding, and Kara quickly maneuvers her on the bed until they’re chest to chest. Lena throws one hand over her back and clasps the other behind her neck in a desperate hold, their foreheads pressed together, and the closeness seems to settle her noticeably. Her eyes are wide and dark, all pupil and desire, and Kara savours their shared breath.

“Colour?” Kara asks, and Lena’s answer is only a split second later.

“Green,” Lena gasps, hooking a leg around Kara’s hips. Usually Kara would expect her to press down with it, pull at Kara’s lower back until the toy sinks into her cunt – but she gave control to Kara, and she stays true to their agreement. Her leg is twitching, but it remains still.

When she finally takes initiative and presses into Lena to the hilt, it’s her decision; and the beautiful sob of relief Lena lets out at being filled is enough to make her regret waiting so long.

“You were so great today,” Kara murmurs, smoothing the sweaty hair away from Lena’s forehead as she braces her knees and prepares to fuck her in earnest. “You did perfect.” She’s so deeply, genuinely proud of how Lena handled herself today, and she also knows how badly Lena needs to hear it. What she doesn’t expect is Lena’s reaction.

Her hips jerk hard into Kara’s, her eyes turning wild and wide as she gasps her approval. She looks needier than she has all day, and as Kara starts up a solid rhythm Lena’s nails dig into her skin almost to the point of pain.

The pain only eggs Kara on, and she knows it.

“Yeah?” Lena whines, tilting herself up and into Kara’s thrusts. She’s so wet that there’s zero resistance, just slick openness, and Kara pants her reply into Lena’s neck.

“Yeah, baby. You wore your plug so well, you controlled yourself, and you’re taking me even better –“

“Am I –“ Lena chokes, her entire torso bright red. Her eyes are shut again, and Kara holds herself up to look down at her as much as she can when Lena is clinging to her torso. “Am I –“

“Are you what?”

“Am I being good for you?” Lena whispers in a rush, like it’s a dirty secret.

Kara almost falters. She’s said something of the sort to Lena before, and she responded well, but it’s been a while since Lena has had a specific desire for her like this. It’s clear that it’s taking a lot for Lena to come out and ask it, to request it specifically. She can’t even look Kara in the face, her eyes screwed shut like she’s expecting a rejection.

So Kara picks back up before Lena can notice, and she rolls with it. Going with her instincts has never steered her wrong.

“Fuck, yes, you’re such a good girl.”

The reaction is immediate.

Where Kara’s rhythm had been middling, Lena’s hips suddenly kick into overdrive. She forces Kara into a harder pace with her desperation, coming unhinged at Kara’s use of five little words – and she shows no sign of slowing down. She’s on another plane, and it shows. She’s completely unselfconscious, slamming herself into the strap and spreading herself out for Kara’s gaze.

“Please, please, tell me –“ she whimpers into Kara’s mouth, and Kara can see cathartic tears starting to track down her temples. She needs this in a way that can’t be articulated, and Kara is going to give it to her.

“You’re so good, Lena,” Kara pants, biting at Lena’s lower lip and tasting salt. “You’re my good girl. Doing exactly what you needed to. Wearing my plug all day. And you’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes!”

“Will you come when I tell you to?”

“Yes!”

Kara doesn’t make her wait. She needs to see it almost as badly as Lena needs to experience it, and she can only hold back a few seconds before she’s biting down on her throat and groaning now, come now, I need you to -

Lena’s body goes from pliant to taut, snapping up and into Kara’s - and she cries out in a broken scream that cuts off into overwhelmed silence as she comes in pulses all over Kara’s thighs. She lets go in every sense, her head thrown so far back into the pillows that it bends her back in a beautiful arc, and by the time she’s finally spent Kara’s own muscles are trembling with the effort of keeping up.

“God,” Kara whispers, letting her full weight down onto Lena’s trembling body. Her legs are slick, the sheets underneath them soaked through, and she has no capacity to deal with it just yet. “Lena. God. I love you so much.”

Lena doesn’t answer. She seems incapable of speaking entirely, even as her breathing evens and the trembling subsides. Kara just lays soft kisses on as much of her skin as she can reach until she happens to hear a tiny, relaxed snore, and she pushes herself up to look at Lena fully.

She’s asleep.

Kara can’t help but laugh. Lena has completely passed out, sprawled across the bed with her arms akimbo now that Kara dislodged them from her back, and her face is relaxed in exactly the kind of bliss Kara was hoping for.

Unfortunately she still has to take the plug out before it causes any harm, and Lena doesn’t seem to want to wake up.

“Lena,” she whispers, slowly easing the strap out and wiggling out of the damp harness. When it hits the floor she reclaims her place, tracing a line across the brunette’s forehead and down the slope of her nose. “Baby, you need to wake up.”

“Ngh. Mmng.”

Kara chuckles again, bringing her hand down to the ticklish spot on Lena’s side. “Baaaaaby. Cupcake. Cream puff. Love bug. Wakey-wakey.”

The usually-detested nicknames have no effect. Lena just swats the hand away, rolling over and pulling a pillow to her chest in pure contentment.

“Well…shoot,” Kara mutters.

Trying to gently ease the plug out while Lena is dead asleep isn’t ideal, but Kara is nothing if not determined in her aftercare. She figures it out in the end, and she even manages to roll Lena out of the wet spot and swaddle her in blankets to finish out her nap.

She ends up picking Conner up from Eliza’s on her own, and she takes him for ice cream for good measure. She has a good feeling that their important conversation won’t be happening tonight, so she feels the need to at least reinforce that he isn’t in trouble. Her suspicion is confirmed when Lena is still out cold when they get home, so she makes Conner (and herself) some of the secret bag of dino chicken nuggets she has stashed in the downstairs freezer for dinner, and together they watch Moana until he falls asleep on her shoulder in a way he hasn’t done in a long time.

A quick post-bedtime google search later, Kara discovers what a ‘praise kink’ is.

Conner does great on the tests.

In fact, life progresses very much in the positive as spring bleeds into summer. Lena feels more connected to Kara than ever, Conner is active in his extracurriculars and with a buzzing social life, and he seems to be growing up just as whip-smart as Lena with Kara’s sunny disposition. Lena knows now that without a doubt that even if he had bombed the testing, his life is going to be just fine.

They happily encourage Conner’s social life, acquiescing to every request for sleepovers and hang-outs, putting him in scouts and encouraging him to go on their camping trips over the course of the summer – because it’s important to make sure he’s adjusting properly and making friends, Kara insists, but Lena revels in knowing it’s also because Kara wants nights where they can be uninterrupted.

After the fiasco a few months ago when it had taken Kara coming to her office on the edge of a breakdown to shake her out of her manic work spiral, Lena has put significant effort into curbing her workaholic impulses. A significant part of the process has been delegating work to people she trusts – and since she trusts no one more than Sam, they’ve taken to having working lunches together as much as possible.

What she didn’t expect out of the process was someone with whom she can also commiserate about parenting. Sam is warm and understanding, and with Ruby being 4 years older than Conner, able to relate to the stages she and Kara are going through.

“I have to admit, I’m a little worried,” Lena confesses during one such meeting in late August, her hands going idle over her keyboard as Sam nods in understanding. They’re working together on the couch in Lena’s office, papers spread over most of the surfaces around them, and both of their heels are abandoned on the rug. “Fourth grade is a big step. He’s getting close to middle school, and I’ve read that that’s when kids can start acting out.”

“I worried about Ruby too, when she hit that age,” Sam admits, tucking her bare feet under her. “Everyone was telling me that by the time she was 12 she was going to hate me.”

“And?”

Sam shrugs. “Well, she’s 13 now, and it hasn’t happened yet. We have our rough times, but we take it day by day. I got pretty lucky.”

“Or, you’re an incredible mom,” Lena counters. Sam puts a hand on her chest in mock-flattery.

“Lena, stop flirting. You’re a married woman.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Shut up.”

Sam just laughs. “How is Kara dealing with everything?”

“Kara is Kara,” Lena says, with an affectionate smile. “Patient, calm, loving. She’s going with the flow. If anything, I think Conner will be okay because of her influence. If it was just me, I’m sure Conner would be a neurotic mess.”

She says it casually, with a tone of lighthearted joking, but Sam frowns at the self-deprecation.

“Lena, you’re a great parent. Anyone can see how much you love him.”

“I grew up with an adoptive mother who thought fear was the best motivator for a 6 year old,” Lena says, turning back to her work to avoid the piercing look Sam is giving her. “Withholding affection was her specialty. You can’t blame me for worrying.”

“Well, judging by all the good you’ve done with this company, going completely against everything your family has done is what you’re best at.”

Lena smiles, and this time it’s genuine. Sam is nothing if not honest, and over the years Kara has taught her that it’s okay to take a compliment.

“Flatterer.”

“I’m just trying to get a free meal,” Sam grins. “Wanna order lunch?”

Lena nods absently, still half-engrossed in financial reports. “Sure. Use my phone, get whatever you want.”

She hears Sam slipping back into her shoes, standing up from the couch. She hears the click of Sam’s heels heading to her desk, where her phone sits face down. She hears Sam pick up the phone, and presumably turn it over to use it.

And then she hears Sam’s sharp intake of breath as she looks at the screen – and all at once, Lena remembers what the last batch of text messages she sent half an hour ago were about, and it feels like all of her organs are exiting her body at once.

Her head snaps up, the world seeming to move in slow motion as she turns to see Sam holding her phone.

“Wait!”

But Sam has already read whatever was on the screen. Her eyes are wide as she puts the phone gently back down and steps away, and the second she does Lena throws her laptop aside, darting over to snatch it up and review the damage.

There are three banners on her lock screen, all messages from Kara, continuing their conversation from earlier. The first has a tiny picture attachment, which she hopes to god Sam didn’t look too closely at.

[Kara]: I’ve been thinking about it since we saw it last week. I don’t know where we’d put it, but I want to tie you to one so bad. Your legs apart, your hands over your head. Completely open to me.

[Kara]: I wonder if you could take my fist standing up?

[Kara]: I bet you could. You’re always so good for me, aren’t you? I can get all five fingers inside and you still ask for more

Fuck. Lena really needs to turn off message previews.

“Everything going well at home, then?” Sam says, in a slightly strangled voice. There’s a blush dusting her cheeks that Lena doesn’t see very often – it’s almost impossible to surprise or embarrass Sam. But she seems to be both right now, and Lena is fucking mortified.

“I am…so sorry,” Lena says, itching to answer Kara but clearing the text notifications instead, painfully aware of how deep her blush is. “I should have checked first, I didn’t even think –“

Sam raises her hands, looking genuine if a little shaken. “It’s totally fine! It’s your phone.”

“I got distracted, and I forgot that we were –“ Lena starts, but she changes tactics rapidly when Sam’s eyes go even wider. “You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“It’s fine,” Sam insists, but the mortification doesn’t go away. It crawls over her skin, and Lena groans, sinking into her desk chair and rubbing her temples.

“That was so inappropriate,“ she mumbles. She can’t look Sam in the eye, but Sam seems less and less bothered by the second.

“Okay firstly, the fact that that is so commonplace in your life that you forgot you were doing it in the middle of a workday is…really something,” Sam says, with a laugh. “But Lena, honestly, I’m just impressed. I didn’t know you had it in you. I didn’t know Kara had it in her, my god.”

She really does sound impressed. Sam sinks into the chair opposite Lena, leaning forward and putting her forearms on the desk like she’s preparing to dive into a conversation, and Lena raises an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“I’ve known you for over 15 years now, and until this moment, I had assumed you only had sex in the missionary position.”

Sam looks dead serious, and Lena laughs abruptly as her friend’s quick and easy digestion of the situation becomes clear.

“I feel like I should be insulted by that?” Lena says, and Sam gestures wildly.

“You never talk about sex! Ever! And Kara is so sweet, I sort of assumed you guys were just wholesome and boring like everyone else,” Sam says, propping an elbow on the desk and putting her chin in her hand. “But now I learn you’re kinky!”

“We’re not –“ Lena starts to deny instinctually, but Sam waves her off, pointing at her phone still sitting on the edge of the desk where Lena left it.

“Oh, don’t try to lie to me now. I saw.”

Right now, more than any other moment of her life previous, Lena wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She’s infinitely thankful that along with being brutally honest Sam is one of the most intuitive people she knows, and she picks up Lena’s discomfort easily.

“Lena, I’m not judging. I promise,” Sam insists, reaching over the desk and giving Lena’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, I’m a little jealous. It’s been years since anyone wanted to put their entire hand inside me.”

Along with being honest and intuitive, Sam is also joyfully irreverent, and Lena often finds herself both grateful and wondering how they ever become friends.

“Sam!” Lena hisses, as if someone in her huge empty office is going to overhear – but she can’t hide her smile, and Sam leans in conspiratorially.

“Okay, tell me all about it. Man, Kara, a top? I never would have thought,” Sam says, shaking her head. Lena chuckles, rubbing at the blush she knows is still vibrant across her cheekbones.

“She surprised both of us.”

Sam yells wordlessly, clapping her hands with gleeful enthusiasm. “Yes! Dish, Luthor. Tell me more.”

It feels freeing, sharing everything with Sam. She doesn’t give any more specifics for Sam to yell over, but it’s undeniably good to confide in someone besides Kara about the strange, wonderful turn their relationship has taken. How they’ve come closer, become stronger than ever, all through this new effort and connection.

“Wow,” Sam says almost dreamily, her chin in her hand as Lena finishes describing the way their dynamic has made Lena more confident at work. “If I wasn’t jealous of your relationship before, I certainly am now.”

Lena chuckles, zipping her necklace back and forth on its chain. It’s one that Kara gave her on their fifth wedding anniversary, and it’s always been a favourite. “It’s been a long road, but…I’m grateful.”

There’s a moment of comfortable quiet between them, Sam looking somewhere into the middle distance. She can hear the distant sound of her assistant’s keyboard, the trill of a phone ringing before being picked up – and then the much closer sound of her phone buzzing again, two texts arriving in quick succession.

It’s closer to Sam than it is to Lena.

Lena snatches for the phone as quickly as she can, but not quickly enough to stop Sam’s eyes from flicking over and then rapidly away again, and a fresh wave of mortification sweeps over her at the content.

[Kara]: So, I found this kit that lets you use a doorframe instead? With these leather cuffs

[Kara]: I know how much you like leather

Lena flips her phone over, but before she can open her mouth to apologize again Sam is laughing at her in amused disbelief.

“You really need to turn off message previews.”

Lena deflates, leaning forward and pressing her forehead into the cool surface of the desk with a groan. “I know.”

Sam gives her a few seconds to collect herself before she offers her next indignity.

“So…a St. Andrew’s Cross, huh?

Lena turns off her message previews.

Fourth grade doesn’t sour Conner’s disposition in the way that Lena worried it might. As the fall progresses he’s still bright, still curious and kind – but there are times when he’s quiet and withdrawn, and Kara mentions more than once that he seems hesitant to get out of the car in the morning when she drops him off at school. She wonders at the cause, but he still seems happy when he’s at home or with his friends, so Lena shelves her instinct to helicopter parent and lets things happen as they happen.

It isn’t until his first report card comes home that they see what the problem is. Lena knows she’s in for a rough night when the moment he hands it to them, he starts to cry.

Kara, bless her, is gentle to a fault while Lena struggles to keep her own mother’s vitriolic parenting deep down. Kara comforts him as he tells them tearfully about his teacher, how she treats him differently and he doesn’t know why – it reminds Lena of last year, when he’d almost been suspended for standing up for himself.

She wonders, not for the first time, if it’s time to switch school districts.

“A C ?” Lena whisper-yells, once Kara has calmed him down and tucked him into bed and they have a few moments of privacy. “His highest grade is a C ? He got straight A’s last year. It’s not possible for his grades to drop this much so fast.”

“I look over his homework,” Kara says, shaking her head. “And so do you, sometimes. He always does it, and I never see any issues. Is he not handing it in?”

Lena scans over the comments, her blood boiling hotter the more scathing they become. She’s only met Conner’s teacher once, and she had definitely been rude and stand-offish – but this is just absurd.

“Conner says she never calls on him, and then gets him in trouble for not participating,” Lena says, scanning over the claims that Conner’s reading level is below average. “She’s a fourth grade teacher. Do you really think she has that much of a stick up her –“

Lena cuts off when she reads the note at the bottom, next to where she and Kara are supposed to sign.

‘Please call to schedule a meeting about your son’s performance.’

Oh, Lena is going to call, all right.

Lena expects to be the one making heads roll, when they finally meet with Ms. Smythe. Since Kara is busy on a lead she takes her towncar to drop Conner off at karate, and spends the rest of the ride back to his school stewing over exactly how she’s going to rip the woman apart at the seams until she gives Conner fair treatment.

She doesn’t expect Kara to show up with a strap-on in her pants, nor does she expect to end up with it enthusiastically jammed down her throat in the school parking lot after Kara made an absolute mockery of every pretense Ms. Smythe tried to offer – but if there’s one thing Lena has learned from this experience, it’s that Kara is and always will be full of wonderful surprises.

Thankfully, Conner seems to have no suspicions about what his parents were doing just a few minutes before he got into the car. He just throws his karate stuff into the backseat and chatters the whole way home, seeming brighter and more hopeful than he has in a while now that he knows they’ve talked to his teacher. He’s up the stairs the second they get home for his usual Friday PlayStation time, and when Kara shuts the bedroom door behind them, Lena relaxes for the first time since she came in Kara’s lap earlier.

“That was close,” Lena mumbles into her hands, sinking down onto the bed and rubbing them over her face. “One of these days he’s going to clue in, you know.”

Kara shrugs, sitting next to her and throwing an arm around her shoulders. Lena can still see the outline of the strap under her pants, sitting thick against her thigh, and it makes her brain almost stutter to a halt.

“Well, he won’t learn sex-ed until 6^th grade. We have a while.”

Lena snorts, leaning onto Kara’s offered shoulder. “And what’s our solution when he is old enough to understand?”

Kara’s answer is instantaneous.

“Secret sex dungeon.”

Lena laughs, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep the sound from carrying upstairs. “Oh, of course. The most logical conclusion.”

“I’m serious!” Kara continues, grinning happily at Lena’s good mood. “Soundproofed walls, sturdy bedposts, all that stuff. We’d finally have a place to put all our paraphernalia that isn’t the back of the closet.”

Lena stands, the warm and slippery remains of their car tryst making itself known between her legs. She can’t hide her blush, but she busies herself taking out her earrings and setting her bracelets and necklace in their proper places in her jewelry box. Kara follows, wrapping her arms around Lena’s middle and resting her chin on a shoulder.

“That would take a while to build,” Lena says, pointedly avoiding eye contact in the mirror hanging over her dresser. “By the time it was finished, you might not even want to use it anymore.”

“I’m never going to stop wanting you,” Kara murmurs, nuzzling into Lena’s neck. As always, the move sends warm tingles down Lena’s spine.

“No?” Lena says, trailing her fingers over the backs of Kara’s hands where they rest against her belly. “So we’re going to be those 90 year old grandmothers dislodging their hip replacements in the bedroom?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be going down on you with my oxygen tank.”

Lena laughs again, letting her head fall back onto Kara’s shoulder. Kara uses it as an opportunity to nip gently at her exposed throat, and the laughter cuts off as Lena’s heart picks up at the little sparks of pain.

“Well,” she says, clearing her throat, “I’m already halfway there. I’m going to have to start dying my hair soon, with the amount of grey I’ve been finding lately.”

“Dye it?” Kara says abruptly, pulling back and looking down at Lena like she’s just suggested committing a war crime. “Why would you ever do that?”

“They’re grey hairs,” Lena says, as if that explains everything, and Kara continues to look at her like she’s insane.

“I like them,” Kara argues, tracing her fingers over the thin salt-and-pepper streak that’s started to form at the front of Lena’s hair. It’s usually not noticeable if she has it up, but since her hair is black, she only has so long before it becomes unavoidable. “They’re sexy.”

“What’s sexy about grey hair?” Lena asks, and Kara shrugs.

“Maturity. Experience,” she says, continuing her trace until she reaches the elastic holding Lena’s updo together. She tugs it gently until Lena’s hair spills out, running her hands through the strands. “MILF vibes.”

“Oh, stop it,” Lena hisses, smacking Kara’s free arm, but Kara just giggles.

“If you really need reassurance about how much I like it, I’m happy to show you.”

All it takes is a nod and Conner gets to bring his PlayStation over to his cousins’ house, Alex and Kelly get a few hours of babysitting duty, and Lena gets to strip and kneel upright on the bed with Kara behind her. Kara is equally naked but still hasn’t taken off the harness, and while the strap she’d been wearing is now lying next to the sink, Kara has lined up a few other options from their toybox on the duvet behind them. Kara is moulded to her back as closely as she can be, and Lena can feel the metal buckles warming between their pressed skin.

“I want you to see yourself like I see you,” Kara murmurs, and Lena watches in their reflection as long fingers slide around her hips and over her belly. “See how much I want you.”

Kara has moved the bed across the room to be closer to the mirror, and as a result Lena can see herself pretty clearly. Much more clearly than she’d usually prefer, actually – she can see all of her imperfections, and it’s doing the opposite of what Kara seems to want it to. All she can think about is all the reasons Kara shouldn’t want her.

“I certainly see myself,” Lena mutters. She fixes her eyes somewhere over Kara’s shoulder, but in her periphery she can see her frown.

“Hey. If this is bothering you, we can stop.” Kara is as sweet and understanding as ever, and Lena bites her lip.

“No, it’s just – I’m not used to staring at my every imperfection for so long,” she admits, casting her eyes downward. Kara cups her chin, raising it back up to meet her eyes in their reflecton.

“I love every one of those things you fixate on,” Kara says, her voice overflowing with genuine emotion. “Every one of them is sexy.”

Lena swallows. It’s impossible to doubt what Kara is saying, especially given how often she says it inside and outside the bedroom – perhaps it’s vanity, but Lena still wants to hear it again.

“Like what?” she asks quietly, and Kara lets go of her chin with a soft smile.

“Like,” Kara says thoughtfully, gently pulling Lena’s hair over her shoulder, “Well, like your hair.”

“It isn’t as nice as it used to be,” Lena offers weakly as Kara scratches at her scalp.

“Mmm, not true,” Kara counters. Lena has always melted the second someone plays with her hair, and Kara is mercilessly using it to her advantage. “It’s just different. It’s thick and soft and always smells amazing.”

“That’s just my shampoo.”

“So? Still hot.” Kara kisses her ear, and her free hand comes up and traces over the Lena’s grey peppering Lena’s hairline. “And every time I see these, I want to do exactly this.”

“You’re turned on by the fact that I’m getting old?” Lena says incredulously. Kara shakes her head.

“I like that we’re aging together,” Kara clarifies. She moves her fingers down to smooth over the wrinkle between Lena’s brows, the laugh lines at the corners of her eyes, maintaining eye contact in the mirror all the while. “Both of us, changing and growing together. For the rest of our lives. We’re never going to be 25 again, but I love knowing that we’re slightly different people with every day, and I get to be along for the ride with you.”

“Oh,” Lena breathes. Her chest feels tight at the raw honesty in Kara’s voice, and as Kara moves down to cup her breasts she can feel herself relaxing into the touch. “Well. That’s…surprisingly poetic.”

Kara squeezes gently, and flashes Lena the mischievous smile that she fell in love with so long ago. “I also just think women over 40 are super hot.”

Lena laughs. She’s relaxing more by the minute, as Kara’s hands move down to smooth over her stomach and scratch her short-bitten nails back up.  “I’ve known that since we met. I remember your baby crush on Cat Grant.”

Kara groans, letting her forehead fall down onto Lena’s shoulder.

“You’re never going to let me live that down, huh?”

“Never,” Lena says sagely. “And, I’m not 40 for another 2 years, so tread carefully.”

“Well, that just goes to show that you’re going to get hotter every year.”

Kara’s thumbs brush over her nipples, and Lena’s breath hitches at the clear intention. After a few seconds the light tone burns away into real desire – the mirth leaves Kara’s eyes, giving way to the focused fire that drives Lena crazy. With intent Kara does it again more slowly, tracing her fingertips around the slowly-stiffening peaks.

As always, Lena doesn’t need to be asked twice.

“Let me show you,” Kara murmurs, mouthing kisses down the side of her neck. They’re hot and half-teeth, nipping little red marks over her skin, and with a sigh Lena gives herself over to them. She shifts her knees further apart on the bed, leaning back into Kara’s solid frame and arching herself into those talented hands, and Kara takes the green light.

“I’ve always loved your chest,” Kara continues, trapping Lena’s nipples between the V of her fingers and rolling them in a way that makes her whimper. “You’re so sensitive. React to everything I do. Remember when I made you come just sucking on your nipples?”

Lena shivers at the memory, feeling herself clench around nothing as Kara recreates the feeling with her hands. It had been a unique type of torture, when Kara had tied her spread-eagled and refused to touch anywhere but her chest – but the orgasm she’s reached had been deep and real, and made all the more intense just by knowing all it took was some focused nipple play.

“You’re remembering it, aren’t you?” Kara grins, watching as Lena’s nipples harden fully. Kara’s never do the same – they’re always soft and pink, and no matter how hard Lena works Kara just doesn’t have the same level of sensation. But Kara doesn’t seem to mind – she just fixates on Lena, instead.

“Yes,” Lena admits, her breath catching in her throat. Kara nudges her knees further apart, and the movement draws Lena’s eyes to the mirror – she can see herself being spread, can see that she’s already embarrassingly wet. She can hear it as her legs are spread – and so can Kara.

“You always get so wet for me,” Kara sighs, one hand abandoning its place to slide down to her pelvis. With two careful fingers she spreads Lena’s cunt, revealing the slick bud of her clit, and Lena’s thighs start to tremble. “So fast. I love knowing that you want it so badly. That you want me.”

“I do,” Lena breathes, wishing she could spread herself even more to Kara’s gaze. The fact that Kara’s gaze is also her own is proving to be just as electrifying as Kara suggested it would be – she’s seeing what Kara sees, and seeing her desire in real time as she takes it in. “Always.”

Kara notices the shake of her thighs right away. With a quick kiss to Lena’s shoulder she leans back, and the mirror allows Lena to see exactly what she’s doing – grabbing one of the toys lined up in a row, and slipping it into the harness with hands that aren’t quite as steady as Kara pretends.

The one she chooses is slightly larger than average, and the sight of it makes longing curl dark and deep in her belly.

“Come here,” Kara whispers, strong hands gripping her hips and lifting them slightly. She pulls Lena back and over the toy now jutting from her pelvis to sit behind it, mostly in her lap and spread wide over her thighs – her knees aren’t even touching the bed anymore. Her weight is entirely on Kara, her calves barely brushing the mattress.

The shaft of the toy presses hard against her clit, and Lena can’t help but grind into it with a whimper.

She half expects Kara to stop her. It’s a game they often play, Lena chasing her orgasm and Kara holding her back until she begs for it – but this time Kara’s hands on her hips don’t anchor her. They press her harder, encourage her to roll her hips again as pleasure zips through her body.

“I love seeing you lose control,” Kara says, her hands digging into the flesh of Lena’s hips but not holding her firm. Her voice is low and rough, and the familiarity of the hunger in it has Lena bucking her hips into the toy again – and watching herself do so in the mirror is a whole other layer of sensory input. She can see her own wildness, can see herself slowly losing her mind as she arches and rubs herself, and Kara’s eyes are flitting all over her body like she can’t decide where to look. Moving across her thighs, her cunt, her chest, her mouth - like she wants to devour her but can’t choose where to start.

“Inside,” Lena gasps, and before she can even think of a way to beg for Kara to fuck her properly, she reacts. Kara uses her grip on Lena’s hips to lift her, lines her up with the strap, and lets her sink down at her own pace – which, with how unusually large the toy is and her tensed position, is agonizingly steady. She wants it inside, needs it, but her body screams at her to take it slow.

When she’s finally flush with Kara’s lap again, spread and stretched full and exposed to her own gaze along with Kara’s, she has to squeeze her eyes shut.

It’s overwhelming, being this exposed. Lena tries to keep her eyes closed, focus on the sensations instead, but that goes out the window when one of Kara’s hands moves up and settles on her throat.

It’s purely for show. The pressure on her throat is almost nonexistent, not enough to really restrict her breathing – but Lena’s eyes are open again, and as a visual it works like magic. Kara’s hand spans the entirety of her neck, wrapping around to grip near her arteries but not pressing down, and it’s exactly the nudge she needs. Lena loses herself in their reflection, overcome with a sudden desperation to come.

“That’s it,” Kara pants, and Lena can feel her starting to tremble with the effort of holding both of them up. “I want you to watch yourself. Watch what you look like while I fuck you. You’re so beautiful, Lena.”

Exertion isn’t enough to stop Kara. She doesn’t let up even as her muscles strain – she just uses her other hand to lean back slightly and anchor herself to the bed, and rolls her hips up into Lena’s to meet her rhythm.

For the first time since this started, Lena doesn’t see imperfection when she watches their reflection in the mirror. She sees something beautiful in their movement, the coordinated rocking of their bodies – in Kara’s hand on her throat, in her own sweaty face and the slick toy sliding in and out of her cunt. The pace isn’t even hard given their position, but the sight of herself the way that Kara sees her – desperate, trusting, beautiful – is enough to make up for it.

And she can’t stop watching herself be fucked.

“I love being able to see,” Kara gasps, her eyes trained exactly where Lena’s are – at the wet silicone so visibly sliding in and out of her. She can see every inch, can see how her cunt catches on every outstroke in an effort to keep her inside, and so can Kara. “Sometimes I come just watching you. Seeing you let go.”

“Kara,” Lena whines, rasping through the pressure on her throat. She can’t think much beyond her wife’s name, can’t figure out how to articulate her need - but Kara always responds to it, and it’s no different this time. “Kara –“

Quickly, before too much momentum can be lost, Kara lets go of Lena’s throat and grabs for her wrist. She’s been clinging hard to her own knees this whole time to keep from falling over, and with clear intent Kara pries one of her hands free and shoves it down between her legs before returning to her gentle choking.

She wants Lena to touch herself.

She knows that Kara likes watching her do it. It’s a common request, especially when Lena is on top – Kara’s eyes always zero in on the friction, and watching it just makes her thrust up all the harder. Like it activates some kind of deep instinct. Doing it now, when they both have to watch, when she can see both the image of her own debauchery and Kara’s face as she watches it, is like a small explosion in her brain.

Her hand is so shaky as she rubs messy circles over her clit that she hardly has to exert any effort – her trembling does it for her, the tension in her abdomen pulling so tight that she’s surprised Kara can move her hips at all. But Kara keeps going, and Lena keeps rubbing, and Kara is making delicious little noises in her ear as her entire being seizes for that single moment –

She’s so very glad that they sent Conner away instead of just locking the door, because she couldn’t quiet herself if she tried.

Usually Kara likes to guide her through her orgasm, extending it as long as possible by keeping up a slow, lazy rhythm as Lena comes down. A long stretch of bliss until either the aftercare starts or she ramps back up for another round.

This time, Kara collapses onto her back almost as soon as Lena has peaked.

“Fuck!“ Lena grunts, as the sudden disappearance of Kara’s body throws her off balance. She manages to roll to the side before her full weight falls back onto Kara’s prone form, but it dislodges the toy from inside her, and she flops onto the mattress feeling jarringly empty. “Jesus –“

“Sorry,” Kara says immediately, her breath coming in short gasps. Her face is flushed with more than arousal - Lena can see her muscles trembling, and any irritation she has about the unceremonious end to her orgasm dissipates. Kara is clearly exhausted, and the fact that she lasted so long holding them both up is a miracle in itself.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Lena soothes, reaching over to rub at Kara’s arms in a makeshift massage. Kara is still wearing the harness she’s been wearing since their parent-teacher meeting, and Lena starts to unbuckle it when Kara doesn’t react. “I honestly can’t believe you held me up for that long.”

“My arms hurt,” Kara groans, and Lena grins as the last buckle comes free and she can slide it down her legs. Kara’s knees are still hinged over the edge, and the tangle of slick silicone and leather and metal hits the ground with a wet-sounding slap. “And my legs. And my back. It all hurts.”

“Poor baby,” Lena croons, slipping off the end of the bed and arranging herself on the floor. “Let me help.”

“Can’t move,” Kara mutters. Lena snorts, and takes hold of her knees to tug until her hips are closer to the edge. The harness has dug deep red lines into her hips, and Lena soothes them with her tongue as Kara tries to tangle her fingers in her hair.

“Then let me take care of you.”

Kara seems more than happy to let her. In a patented Danvers move Lena props one of Kara’s legs over her shoulder and dips forward, and they both groan at the first touch.

It’s clear how badly Kara needs this, as much as she can’t move enough to ask for it herself. She’s so wet that it makes a slick sound when Lena spreads her open, so wet that the moment Lena drags her tongue through it makes a mess of her face, and with the slightest bit of focused attention it takes a record 13 seconds for Kara to shake apart on her tongue.

As much as she loves going down on Kara more than possibly anything else in the world, Lena is relieved when she’s able to flop next to her and snuggle into the crook of her arm. Kara, still recovering from her workout and quick-and-dirty orgasm, moves enough to place a tired kiss on her forehead before her head falls back again.

“I’ll go get Conner,” Lena says, chuckling at the way Kara sags in relief. “You deserve a nap. You deserve a lot more than that, but you’re too tired to receive it.”

“’m not too tired,” Kara grumbles, resolutely spreading her legs again despite not being able to open her eyes. Lena shakes her head fondly.

“How about we just save your reward, hm? Until you can enjoy it fully.”

“’kay.”

Kara is drifting off already. As her breathing evens out Lena carefully sits up to get dressed, wincing slightly at the soreness of her inner thighs. She’s going to feel it tomorrow.

Worth it, though.

She’s dressed and just slipping through the door when Kara calls out, still lying unmoving with her legs dangling off the bed.

“Babe?”

“Yes?” Lena replies, heading back to the bed to smooth a hand over Kara’s sweaty forehead. “Do you need anything before I go?”

Kara’s answer is both not what Lena was expecting, and completely wonderfully in-character.

“What do you think about a mirror on the ceiling?”

Lena leaves Kara there to giggle at her own overtired genius, smiling to herself as she heads out to the car. When she turns the ignition she catches sight of her reflection in the rearview mirror, and this time, she gets a warm feeling at the flashes of silver that glint through the black.

They are sort of sexy.

After Kara (willingly, happily) almost threw her back out proving to Lena exactly how sexy she finds her, she almost thinks that Lena had forgotten about her promise to reward her.

Not that Kara minds, necessarily. Their relationship isn’t based on a points system, and she’s perfectly happy with forgetting about it and enjoying their regular sex life – in fact she has forgotten about it by the time it comes up again, and so her reaction to it is purely instinctual.

It happens, as always, when Conner is gone. His first overnight school trip, in fact, and since it’s with his French class from the grade ahead, Miss Smythe isn’t the chaperone. Conner is free to just be excited.

And so are they.

“So,” Lena says the moment his bus has left the school parking lot, “We have all night. We even have the morning, if you want. What’s your poison?”

“My poison?” Kara asks, her stomach swooping with the kind of thrill she only gets from the promise of lots of free time with her wife. Preferably naked on a horizontal surface, but she isn’t picky.

“What, you thought that Conner was going to go away for the night and we weren’t going to fuck until we both can’t walk?”

Kara’s knuckles go white on the steering wheel, and she can practically feel Lena’s satisfaction from the passenger seat.

“So it’s my choice, huh?” Kara says, and now it’s her turn to feel a thrill at the way Lena shivers in response to the low husk of her voice. The car comes to a stoplight and Lena slowly uncrosses her legs, drawing Kara’s eyes to the movement.

“Mhm. How do you want me?”

How does she want her. As always there are a hundred things she wants to do to her wife, but the distraction of focusing on driving and trying not to stare at the way Lena’s legs are idly opening and closing makes her blurt out the one thing she’d been nervous about asking for.

“I was actually thinking about you taking the reins.”

Lena’s legs stop moving. The light turns green, and as a fierce blush tries to make its way up past her collar Kara directs her eyes resolutely forward.

“You want me to take control?” Lena asks, skepticism bleeding into her voice. “Not give it to you?”

It’s a fair point. Generally their dynamic is centred on a mutually beneficial combination of Lena enjoying a loss of control and Kara very much enjoying giving her what she wants, and they haven’t had too many deviations. But the request is out there, now, and Kara swallows hard as they turn into their neighbourhood.

“Yeah. If you want. No pressure,“ Kara starts to assure her, but Lena interrupts with a new tone of interest.

“Like…when I pegged you?”

The blush she’s been fighting successfully spreads up and across Kara’s face as she remembers that particular day.

“Not exactly. I was thinking more, like…” Kara starts, but her voice fails her for a second when she tries to say the words rattling around in her head. Lena looks at her evenly, non-judgmentally, and Kara takes a steadying breath. Lena has always been nothing but eager and accommodating of her new ideas, even if they only end up trying it once.

“Like, you could…use me,” Kara says cautiously. Lena’s eyebrow raises, and she tilts her head in interest.

“Use you?” she asks, and Kara can see the gears in her head turning. “Can you explain what you mean?”

Kara shrugs, reticent to show exactly how badly she wants this.

“Order me around,” Kara clarifies hurriedly. “Use me, to make yourself come. Fuck yourself…with me. If you want.”

The explanation is halting, awkward on Kara’s tongue, but Lena seems to understand. A slow smile spreads across her face, and she reaches across the centre console of the SUV to spread her hand warm and heavy over Kara’s thigh.

“You want me to power bottom?”

The term itself seems silly, a funny label put onto something so ephemeral, but Lena says it with such understanding and an undercurrent of enthusiasm that Kara sags with relief. There’s a spark in Lena’s eyes, the thrill of trying something new, and Kara never should have doubted her wife. Lena wants this too, and that interest gives Kara the courage to suggest something else.

“Yeah. That’s – yeah,” Kara sighs, putting the car in park in the driveway. They’ve just arrived at home, but there’s a good chance that soon after this they’ll be backing right out again. “That’s what I want. And I thought that maybe we could go shopping together.”

When they enter their favourite adult shop and Kara leads her nervously to the ‘leather’ section at the back, the spark in Lena’s eyes turns into a flame.

The shop has very strict one-person-per-changing-room rules, for obvious reasons. It means that Kara has to try things on alone, strapping them over her tank top, and go out into the public area to show them off.

The first time she steps out wearing the leather bulldog harness they picked out, Lena stares at her like she wants nothing more than to break the rules and shove them both into the nearest empty room.

“What do you think?” Kara asks, holding her arms out in a ta-dah! gesture. She wasn’t sure how she expected to feel when she tried this on – brass buckles and studs, thick brown leather straps that go over her shoulders and around her ribs in a Y-shape, and a strip of leather connecting them down the centre of her chest. She’d always liked the aesthetic of it, but she wasn’t sure the reality would measure up.

The reality, it turns out, makes her feel fucking hot.

Lena’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, and she reaches out with a tentative hand to grasp the harness by its front strap right between Kara’s breasts. She tugs it gently at first, and then when Kara very easily lets herself be led forward she pulls harder – a sharp jerk, bringing Kara into her space until their faces are an inch apart.

Kara’s entire body throbs, and Lena’s breath catches as if she can sense it.

“I think we need to go home.”

Payment is exchanged as quickly as possible, and the now-familiar cashier shoots them a wink as Lena pulls her out the door.

The sky is dark when they step outside, and the sidewalk is deserted in this corner of town. To their left is one of the few gay clubs left in the city, and even at 9pm on a Thursday the throbbing music making Kara’s bones rattle. It’s a place they used to frequent a long time ago, when they were newly-out and newly-together and trying to find their footing, but have long since grown out of.

The alley between the shop and the club is the shortest way to get back to their car, so out of habit they move to cut through it – but before they’ve taken a step the side door of the club spills open, and two figures attached at the lips stumble out. Instinctually she and Lena both pause, and as the door slams shut again they back around the corner so as not to interrupt.

Kara has very fond memories of fucking Lena in that alley, and she wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone else.

“Let’s just go the long way around –“ Kara whispers, but Lena doesn’t budge. She’s peering around the corner with a shocked, intent expression, and Kara frowns at her.

Lena likes to watch playback of them having sex, sure, but Kara never thought she was a voyeur.

“Lena?” She asks tentatively, but Lena waves a hand to quiet her, pointing at the couple in the alley.

“Look!”

Kara looks.

The two women currently trying to shove their hands in each other’s jeans look almost like Lena and Kara, from a distance – the taller one has almost white-blonde hair, and she’s pressing the shorter brunette into the wall and practically ripping the button of her jeans in her haste. Kara can see the moment when her fingers make contact, and it makes her feel uncomfortable enough that she almost turns away – until she sees what Lena was trying to point out.

The brunette turns her face towards them, her eyes closed in bliss, and Kara knows her face. It’s contorted in pleasure rather than set in judgement, but her shiny crucifix glints against the streetlight.

It’s Miss Smythe.

“Oh my god,” Kara breathes. Lena, peeking around the corner slightly below her, shakes her head.

“This explains so much.”

From the alley Kara can hear hushed voices, their mutual desperation clear.

“We can take this back to my place –“ the blonde is saying in a low, raspy voice, but Miss Smythe cuts her off.

“Don’t talk. Just – just touch me.”

There’s a short, derisive laugh from the blonde.

“Whatever you want, Princess. If you want to get fucked in an alley, I’ll fuck you in an alley.”

“God, shut up –“

Her words are swallowed by a moan, and Kara steps away, knowing they’ve been here far too long. She tugs Lena by the hand, guiding her away from the private moment. “Come on.”

“Can you believe that?” Lena rants the moment they’re out of earshot, as they take the long way around the block. “How the hell does she get off judging us when she’s getting regularly fucked in an alley by some woman?!“

Kara shrugs. She’s still processing, but right now she feels more sympathy than anger.

“Clearly, she gets off perfectly fine.”

Lena rolls her eyes, and Kara gives her hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s clear that she’s wrestling with some serious self-loathing, Lena. I mean, do you remember how closeted we both were when we met?” Kara reasons, recalling memories that she’d rather forget herself. “You were fresh off of using Jack as a beard to try and forget Andrea ever happened, and I hadn’t even had the thought of bisexuality until I met you. Remember how long it took us to admit how we felt?”

Lena shudders, her look of distaste mirroring Kara’s. “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m just saying! I know it took me a bit to get past all the internalized crap and come to terms with my feelings for you. Clearly she has some stuff to work through.” Kara is right and Lena knows it, but she persists in her irritation anyways, and Kara lets it go. Lena will process it in her own time.

“That’s all well and good, but it would be great if she could do it without failing our son because of her internalized homophobia,” Lena grumbles. Kara unlocks the car and Lena wrenches the door open, climbing inside with a huff.

Now that she thinks about it, Lena being in this mood might add to the scenario Kara is hoping to build when they get home. She might have to send Miss Smythe a gift basket.

“You can’t always get what you want,” Kara says quietly, unable to hide her grin as she turns the ignition.

The moment they get home Lena banishes Kara to the bedroom to get ready, and she forgets about Miss Smythe and Conner’s school and everything besides the two harnesses she’s currently hiding under the crisp white shirt and tight slacks Lena requested. Lena asked for a specific toy to be tucked into Kara’s pants, the one with the insert that presses into Kara’s clit and drives her wild, and she settles it into place along her thigh and pulls up her zipper.

She’s not sure what Lena is doing on the other side of the door, but she can’t wait to find out.

Kara is about to raise her hand to gently knock and find out when it opens wide, and Lena is standing in the space in a short robe that Kara has never seen before. It brushes the tops of her thighs, soft and silky in a deep shade of blue. Kara reaches out thoughtlessly to touch it, to pull the silk between her fingers, but Lena’s hand darts out to snatch delicately at her wrist.

“Ah, ah,” Lena says, guiding the offending hand back down to her side. “You wanted orders? No touching until I say so.”

Lena turns and heads down the hall, her ponytail whirling behind her and almost hitting Kara in the face, and Kara’s skin erupts in goosebumps.

“Are we not…going into the bedroom?” Kara asks tentatively, and Lena stops at the end of the hall to level her with a look that melts her like butter.

“Are you going to follow me, or do I have to use that harness already?”

Jesus. Clearly, Kara’s efforts all those weeks ago buoyed Lena’s confidence in a major way.

Kara follows.

The lights are low in the living room, and Lena is perched expectantly on the edge of the coffee table when Kara wanders in. Her legs are crossed, and she slowly uncrosses them as Kara approaches.

“Take a seat.”

It’s a good thing Kara was already most of the way to the couch, because her knees get a little wobbly at the request. She sinks onto the leather cushion with a shaky exhale, and Lena rises to her feet.

“Are you sure you want this?” Kara says quietly, all pretense dropping for a moment as Lena traces her fingers down the side of her face. The warm hand cups her jaw and Kara presses into it, turning to lay a kiss on her open palm.

Lena’s reply is firm. “Positive. I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

Kara relaxes, and Lena’s hand retracts. She misses the contact immediately, but it’s replaced with something better - Lena’s hands settle at her sides, and she distracts Kara with a gentle command.

“Open my robe for me?”

The robe is cinched with a loose knot, and Kara unwinds it eagerly. The robe is nice, but what she really wants is for Lena to be naked, even if she isn’t allowed to touch her.

The robe parts, and Lena is not naked.

She’s wearing lingerie. Complicated lingerie. Very complicated, very crimson, very hot lingerie that she bought for Kara’s birthday a few years ago. Kara had forgotten about it, and seeing it now strapped over Lena’s creamy skin genuinely takes her breath away.

“God,” Kara groans, clenching her fists in the silk and pulling until her face is pressed to Lena’s belly. The skin is warm and soft, and Kara gets a few seconds of contact before Lena eases a hand into her hair and tugs until Kara is looking up at her face. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s a reminder of the rules that brings Kara back to herself.

“Sorry,” Kara whispers, slowly letting her hands unclench and come back down to her sides. “I just – I thought I was the one dressing up?”

Lena smiles, her nails scratching at Kara’s scalp. Kara is painfully aware, suddenly, of the pressure of the strap-on currently pressed into her clit– the longer this goes on, the more insistent her arousal becomes, and she isn’t sure she’ll be able to go much longer without grinding herself into something for just a tiny bit of relief.

“I like the way you look at me when I wear it,” Lena says, her eyes flitting over Kara’s face. “How much you want me. Do you want me, Kara?”

“Yes,” Kara breathes, without hesitation. It’s possible that she’s never wanted anything as much as she wants Lena in this moment, and Lena sees it. She looks exhilarated by it, energized by Kara’s desire.

“Good. Don’t speak unless I ask you a question.”

Fuck. The throbbing pressure between her legs doubles, and Kara’s nails scratch against the cushion as she curls her hands into fists. Her heart is pounding, and it only gets worse when Lena presses insistently on her shoulder until she’s leaned into the back of the couch.

“Arms up.”

Kara raises her arms immediately and rests them along the back of the couch. The position looks almost casual, but Kara feels anything but as Lena climbs into her lap – she drapes her arms over Kara’s shoulders and grinds herself down so firmly that Kara can’t help but whimper, the pressure of her weight pressing down on the bulge and grinding it into Kara’s clit.

She wants to push up, press harder. She wants to grab Lena’s hips and pull them down, to fumble the toy out of her pants and fuck her wife until both of their bodies give out. But this was her own request, and she can’t deny the way that Lena’s attitude is making her brain melt. Following her impulses to their obvious conclusion is good, but reining them in to follow Lena’s rules is new and exciting.

Even if having Lena’s chest in her face and not being able to do anything about it is making her want to rip the lacy bra off with her teeth.

“How long have you been thinking about this?” Lena asks, rolling her hips up and into Kara again. Her voice is low and smoky, but Kara can hear the hitch in it when Lena makes contact with the outline of the toy.

“A long time?” Kara says distractedly, too focused on the heat she can already feel through the layers of fabric. She wants to look down and see if Lena has left a wet spot on her pants, but she also wants to look at what’s in front of her face, and the conflict makes her clumsy.

Lena tugs on her hair again, and Kara abandons her inner battle to look up at her face instead.

“Specifics.”

“Since – since you pegged me,” Kara stammers. Lena looks gorgeous, the soft light hitting the sharp line of her jaw as she undulates slowly in Kara’s lap, and it’s stealing her words away. “I kept thinking about it.”

“And it took you this long to ask?” Lena unbuttons Kara’s shirt slowly, deliberately, smoothing it away from her shoulders to grasp at the leather chest harness as Kara struggles to form coherent replies.

“I wasn’t sure you’d like it.”

“So far, I’m enjoying myself immensely.” Lena sounds wicked, and Kara doesn’t doubt her words. She grinds down again, and Kara’s hips twitch into the movement - but Lena gives her a warning look, and Kara anchors herself again.

The reward will be worth it.

“Lena, god,” Kara breathes, half to herself. There’s a tension in her lower belly, the kind that usually explodes into pleasure with very little intervention, and the one-two punch of Lena’s warm body within reach and her raspy voice is hurrying the problem along.

It’s both unbearably hot and supremely unhelpful to her problem when Lena tugs hard on the harness, bringing their lips within a whisper of each other.

“Every time you break a rule, I get one more orgasm before you’re allowed to come,” Lena murmurs, her breath hot against Kara’s skin. It takes every ounce of her willpower not to close the half-inch of distance and kiss her. “Green?”

Kara swallows her plea, and wills herself not to come before Lena has even undone her pants.

“So green.”

If Kara had thought Lena was grinding in earnest before, she had no idea exactly how much her wife could torture her. As soon as she gives the green light Lena starts rolling her hips hard, with intent, rubbing her clit on the hard bulge and letting out breathy moans in a slow crescendo. Kara is shaking by the time Lena lets up, gripping the couch cushion to keep her hands from wandering – and Lena seems to have little regard for her efforts. She fumbles with Kara’s button and zipper for a moment but her hands are surprisingly steady when she pulls the toy out, and she gives Kara no time to adjust before she’s sinking down onto it with a relieved sound.

Kara feels like she’s going to black out.

Lena is relentless. Right away she starts her own rhythm that Kara has to bite the inside of her own cheek not to follow with her hips, and Kara has to repeat the rules in her head to keep from breaking them. No touching, no talking.

She wants to fuck Lena so badly, but Lena doesn’t need her. She’s being used - an instrument of Lena’s self-pleasure rather than a catalyst, and she’s never seen anything hotter than the way Lena rides her with total abandon, using the harness for leverage. It’s exactly what Kara asked for, and she couldn’t be more grateful for her own torture.

What makes it harder, though, is the fact that every movement Lena makes presses the strap harder into Kara’s clit. And she knows it, too – Lena is pushing her hips forward as she fucks herself in a way that Kara knows isn’t for her own benefit. It’s because she can hear the whines that Kara can’t keep at bay, and she wants to watch her struggle.

Everything Lena does seems to be a specific attempt to make her break. Using the harness as leverage, whining her name, arching her back until her chest is in Kara’s face – all of it is calculated, even as Lena gets closer to the edge.

When Lena pulls the devastating move of reaching behind and unsnapping her own bra, Kara almost loses it. Lena knows all of Kara’s weaknesses, a major one being that she can’t see Lena’s breasts without touching them – and they’re right there, close enough for her to pull a nipple into her mouth and see Lena’s always-hot reaction to the sensation. It’s maddening, made worse just how close Kara is to coming when she’s not supposed to.

The closer Lena gets, the closer Kara gets. And the closer Kara gets, the less control she has over herself – she’s actually impressed with how long she lasts before she finally gives in and presses her face into Lena’s chest, getting a few seconds of contact and mouthing messy kisses on her skin before Lena yanks on the back of the harness. Kara hits the back of the couch again and Lena grinds deep and hard, taking every inch and pressing the base of the strap into Kara until she’s whimpering.

“Strike one,” she whispers shakily into Kara’s mouth, and Kara melts into the leather.

Thankfully for Kara’s willpower, it doesn’t take much longer for Lena to come. Her movements get jerky and harsh, her hold on the harness tighter than ever, and Kara has to watch helplessly as Lena’s whole body arches taut and she shakes apart over her lap. The tendons in her neck flex, and Kara’s mouth waters with the urge to bite down there. To taste the sweat of her skin as she chases the tail end of her orgasm, feel the frantic pounding of Lena’s heart under her tongue.

She doesn’t have the opportunity to test her resolve. As soon as Lena is finished she’s already twisting and dragging Kara down with her, pulling the harness until she’s on her back on the cushions and Kara is pressed against her front. She does it so smoothly that the strap-on doesn’t even get dislodged, and she wraps her legs around Kara’s hips the moment they settle into place.

“You can come with me this time,” Lena rasps, her voice showing the wear of chanting Kara’s name for the last several minutes. “But not until I do.”

Nodding frantically, Kara has already started moving before Lena has finished explaining. There’s no starting slow, no buildup to this – Kara is desperate enough for both of them, and even when her hands are anchored to the couch under Lena’s head instead of on her hips where they want to be, her pace is punishing from the start.

At this pace, Kara knows, Lena usually comes hard and fast. She loves being fucked relentlessly, and it would ordinarily take under a minute to push her over the edge. But she can feel Lena resisting, somehow – holding herself off, even though Kara hasn’t asked her to. Drawing it out, like she’s testing Kara’s stamina. Like she’s enjoying watching her fight the urge to just let go.

“Kara you’re so fucking – so good at this, fuck,” Lena whines, pulling on the harness like it will make Kara go harder. “So good at fucking me -”

Kara understands, in this moment, why Lena likes to be praised so much. Lena’s instinctive compliments are going straight to her already-tortured clit, and she can fee her orgasm starting to swell on the horizon. It’s unstoppable, like a tidal wave she can see and needs to brace herself for, and she doesn’t have much longer before she breaks.

Lena can feel it too, apparently, nipping on Kara’s earlobe and whispering in a voice that’s all wild desire.

“You’re close, aren’t you?”

Kara can’t even form her thoughts.

“Please –“ Kara chokes into her shoulder, beyond words and so deeply aware of how the usual script has flipped between them. She’s been close since the second Lena climbed into her lap, and now she’s just clinging to the last threads of her control. “Lena, please –“

“No more rules,” Lena pants, her nails digging into Kara’s back under the harness. “Just make me come, love.”

The pet name and Lena’s voice and the words all swirl together in Kara’s head. Some part of her overworked brain acknowledges the dropping of the rules, and with her last ounce of coherence she grabs behind Lena’s knees, pushes them up and over her shoulders, and fucks into her with all her strength.

“Oh, fuck, Kara –“ Lena gasps, before Kara bends her almost double and her breath leaves her in a rush. “Yes, yes, yes –“

She chants it like a mantra as Kara dives straight into fucking her with a ferocity she’s never known. She ruts into her selfishly, her speed almost inhuman, chasing her own orgasm with Lena’s body – and Lena can’t help but cry out breathily every time the strap catches on the outstroke, the thick head snagging on her entrance whenever Kara pulls out enough.

The frantic pace speeds up even more, Kara’s abs burning with the momentum, but this time it only takes a few seconds of hard pressure to push Lena past her limit. She tenses silently with her teeth dug into the leather of the harness, and Kara’s willpower finally breaks – all she can do is follow with a guttural moan as the wave finally pulls her under.

Whether Lena actually came first or not Kara doesn’t know, because the force of her orgasm propels her out of her body and somewhere else entirely. All she knows is heat and pleasure and relief in every nerve ending as she twitches into Lena’s cunt, and it could be anywhere between 6 seconds and a full minute before it ends. Her awareness of her body only comes back to her when it finally gives out, and she collapses onto Lena while her breath comes in harsh, animalistic pants against her skin.

It takes a moment for her to realize that Lena’s thighs are still quivering on either side of her shoulders, and Kara lets them slide down and back into place even as she loses track of time. She can feel herself drifting, slipping into unconsciousness on Lena’s chest while she’s still buried deep inside her, and she feels a surge of affection and love when Lena’s hand wraps around the back of her neck in a grounding hold. A point of connection, as comforting for Lena as for Kara.

“Thank you,” Kara whispers. Lena smooths the damp hair from her brow with a gentle hand.

“For what?”

“Everything. Being you.”

Lena’s chest rumbles with a laugh. “This was your idea. You should be thanking yourself.”

Kara shrugs. “But you gave me what I asked for.”

“You know how you can make it up to me?” Lena says, with a note of slyness. One of her legs slides down to anchor on the floor, and Kara misses the warmth of it immediately.

“How?”

“Pull out. My hips are killing me.”

Oh. Right.

“Sorry,” Kara grunts, carefully easing the strap out without opening her eyes. Lena’s breath catches in that way it always does when she loses that fullness, and Kara moves to slide over to her own side of –

All her equilibrium leaves her when she realizes there’s nothing under her hands, and she nosedives to hit the floor with an undignified squeak.

“Kara!” Lena gasps, her reflexes not quite quick enough post-orgasm to grab her before she fell. She strokes Kara’s back, as if the comforting touch will eliminate the pain of the landing.

“Nrgh,” Kara replies, her face pressed into the rug.

“Was that my fault?”

Of course Lena’s immediate reaction is to assume that her request put Kara on the floor. Kara groans, turning her face sideways so she can at least face in her wife’s direction.

“No. Forgot we were on the couch,” she grumbles reluctantly.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Lena starts to laugh.

“Don’t,” Kara warns half-heartedly, but Lena only laughs harder. It’s a deep belly-laugh, hard enough that her knees curl up towards her chest on the couch, and it shines a beam of brightness through Kara’s chest even if it’s at her own expense.

“Stooop,” Kara moans, but she can’t help but laugh as well. It’s contagious, and Lena is clearly so tickled at her misfortune. “You’re laughing at my pain!”

Lena reaches down and grabs the harness, pulling until Kara is sitting up and she can plant a kiss on her pouting mouth.

“I love you so much. Get back up here.”

Marriage, Kara thinks, is much harder than people make it out to be.

Since the day they linked themselves together, their lives have changed in ways Kara could never have imagined, both in the bedroom and outside of it. They’re both so different from the people they were when they met, when they fell in love, when they married.

Kara also knows that Lena had never known a successful marriage before she started her own. She’d actually told Kara in the beginning that she was anti-marriage, that it was an unnecessary societal shackle she didn’t need. Marriage, for a Luthor, was a political obligation. But after a few years together, Lena had started to talk about it like it was a real possibility. Something she wanted, genuinely. Kara had even caught her looking at rings with an expression of yearning.

Kara, who had always loved the idea of tying herself to Lena symbolically for the rest of their lives, had started to plan – and when Kara got on one knee, there was only one answer in both of their hearts.

Since it was a bit of a surprise that they got married at all, it sometimes surprises Kara when their wedding anniversary sneaks up on them. Neither of them likes fancy date nights anyways, so there isn’t much to prepare for – Conner goes to Eliza’s for the night for a Grandma Sleepover with his cousins, Lena cooks dinner, and Kara lights candles and guides Lena to bed with gentle intent. It’s slow, and soft, and sweet – they’re unhurried in their pace, just enjoying touching and being touched until they come together in a flood of emotion.

They’re kissing the tears from each other’s faces by the end of it, and Kara feels more connected and whole than she has in a long while.

After this long together, so many ups and downs in 12 years of marriage and 15 years as a couple, the recent reminder of how close their closeted selves came to not being together makes Kara nostalgic.

“Do you remember the day we met?” Kara asks quietly to the darkened ceiling. The candles are making it flicker with warm orange light, and Lena’s warm weight on her chest shifts as she looks up at Kara’s face.

“Of course I do,” Lena replies, low and affectionate. “You came barging into my office with your cousin looking for a story about that failed space shuttle launch, and I spent a year trying to pretend I wasn’t attracted to you.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Kara admits with a grin, tracing along Lena’s shoulder and down between her shoulderblades. “Or talking about you. Clark thought I was crazy, thinking you were innocent right away, but I just knew.”

Even in the semi-darkness, Kara can see how Lena glows at the memory. “You made me feel like turning my brother’s company around was actually a plausible goal. Like I could actually make a difference.”

“I still do. I’ve always believed in you.”

Lena props herself up on an elbow, and Kara uses the opportunity to trace a thumb over her jaw. She follows the line she so often admires with her eyes, and Lena turns her face to try and catch the digit in her teeth – Kara pulls away too fast, and they share a familiar laugh.

“I remember after the first time we made love, having this deep, sure knowledge that this was it for me,” Kara says softly. Lena’s brow furrows, and she wiggles closer to drape over Kara’s torso again.

“You knew that early?”

“If I had been more in touch with myself, I would have known the minute we met.”

“Me too,” Lena admits. “I tried so hard not to be in love with you. I should have known it was impossible.”

She toys with Kara’s necklace as she does it, and the candlelight glints off of her engagement ring. Looking at it and reminding herself of the commitment they made to each other always gives Kara warm feelings, and today of all days it brings to mind memories of the day she gave it to her.

“I think I did okay with the proposal, though. Right?” Kara asks, bringing the hand to her lips and laying kisses around the diamond. Lena laughs, pulling her hand away to tap the tip of Kara’s nose.

“You were so nervous. As if I would have said no.”

“I wasn’t that nervous!” Kara argues, but Lena silences her protest with a look.

“I asked you why my office was scattered in flower petals, and you started to cry.”

“…okay, I was a little nervous,” Kara concedes. “You know, I was a little sad when you renovated that office.”

“I remember. You wouldn’t let me get rid of that old couch.”

“It’s our love couch!” Kara maintains, her opinion unchanged even these many years later. “It’s where I proposed! That’s where we had our first lunch together, our first kiss, our…other first things.”

Lena laughs at the trip down memory lane, smacking Kara on the shoulder. “I still can’t believe I let you fuck me on my office couch after two dates. The closet doors were obliterated after that.”

“If one has the opportunity to have sex with Lena Luthor, one does not wait until there is a bed available. One goes immediately to the closest horizontal surface,” Kara says sagely, and Lena laughs, loud and deep. Kara kisses the crinkles that form at the corners of her eyes.

“You’re a dork,” Lena says, her voice all warmth and love.

“You married me.”

“Yes, I did,” Lena says, leaning forward to say it against her lips. “Best decision I ever made.”

Kara smiles, accepting the kiss Lena offers gladly. It ends with their foreheads pressed together, and Kara takes the moment of vulnerability to speak her mind.

“I love you,” she says, making sure that Lena’s green eyes are on hers as she says it. It’s the truth, and she needs Lena to know it unequivocally. “I love who you were then, and who you are now. And I’ll love who you become in the future. In our future.”

Lena’s eyes are watering at the end of the admission, and Kara pulls her into another kiss before her own tears can spring up as well. She just holds her wife close, and thanks whatever law of the universe brought them together.

Conner graduates 4^th grade, at the end of it all, with a noticeable upturn in his grades. Kara thinks it might have something to do with the motorcycle she now often sees in the school parking lot with a familiar white-blonde woman sitting astride it, waiting to pick someone up – but that’s none of her business.

They celebrate the joint event of Conner making it through the tough year and turning 10 years old with a pool party. All of his friends swarm the house, Alex brings over Mason and Kya, and Sam and Ruby even turn up with bathing suits and presents. Kara insists on firing up the little-used barbecue for burgers and hot dogs, but after her first batch comes out blackened on the outside and raw in the middle, Alex takes over despite her protests that she can do better next time.

Alex’s burgers are amazing, much to Kara’s chagrin.

As Conner chases Kya around the yard with a Super Soaker, accidentally spraying a lounging Sam instead and suffering the wrath of his surrogate aunt (she grabs him by the feet and chucks him into the pool, water gun and all), Kara lets the comfort of her family wash over her. She watches Ruby in a spirited game of volleyball with Mason and some of the neighbourhood kids, and Kelly handing Sam a towel after her impromptu soak with a slightly over-friendly smile. Alex watches the interaction distractedly, while Lena tops up the Sunny D in the cooler and leaves another stack of cups for the kids. She catches Kara’s eye as she does it, and flashes her the same dimpled smile she fell in love with 16 years ago.

Their relationship isn’t perfect, Kara knows. Intimacy is difficult to maintain, and more than once they’ve hovered on the edge of drifting apart – at one point, Kara thought they might never recover. But after all of that, she’s come out with this – passion and home tied together, the singular feeling of being seen and loved and coming together as one.

She can’t wait for the rest of their lives.

8 years later

“Are we sure he has everything he needs?”

The anxiety in Lena’s voice is as familiar, now, as the back of Kara’s hand. She’s standing by herself in the doorway as Kara and Conner finish up stacking the boxes from the car next to his dorm bed, and she shares a look with her son as Lena bites nervously at her nail beds.

“He’s going to be fine, Lena. He’s been ready to go to college since 8^th grade. Right, bud?”

Conner nods, leaving the pile of boxes to wrap Lena’s smaller form in a tight hug. He dwarfs her by almost a foot, now, and she wraps her arms around his lanky frame with a sniffle.

“I promise, momma,” he says quietly, using the childish nickname he hasn’t called Lena since he was young. “I’ll be okay. I’m excited about this. And if I need anything, I know you guys will be in the L-Corp jet as soon as I pick up the phone.”

Lena laughs wetly, squeezing him tight and then, finally, loosening her grip.

“I know. I know you’re ready, I just – I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you guys too,” Conner says, opening up the hug to Kara too. Kara steps in gladly, kissing the top of Lena’s head. “But you guys taught me everything I need. I can cook, and do laundry, and ask for consent before I kiss someone. What more could I need?”

Kara laughs, and ruffles his dark curls as they all step away for some air.

“That’s my guy.”

It takes a few more tearful hugs, but when Conner starts making friends with some of the other students moving in Kara manages to convince her to hit the road. They leave him with a kiss and a promise to call at least twice a week, and by the time Kara finally steers the SUV off campus and towards the freeway Lena looks more composed. She’s thoughtful, gazing out the window, but that doesn’t stop Kara from admiring her.

Kara thinks often these days about how they’ve both aged. They’re changing together, in body and mind, and Kara loves each change as it happens – the lines around Lena’s eyes and mouth, the softness of her hips, the now-prevalent streaks of silver in her hair. It had taken some convincing, but Lena has never once dyed it, and Kara loves it.  

If anything she’s sexier than ever, and Kara’s body warms to her the same way it always has.

The slow wakening of her body as they drive away from Conner’s next big step is familiar in a funny way, and Kara chuckles as she takes the on-ramp.

“What?” Lena says, looking over at her with a quirked brow.

“I’m just thinking.”

“About?” Lena prompts. Kara drums her fingers on the steering wheel.

“About all the other times we saw Conner off to a big adventure.”

As she says it she thinks back over the years – of sending Conner to kindergarten, to middle school, to high school, to summer camp, each with their own pleasant memory that ends with both of them wrung-out and blissed.

Lena’s grin is slow, but wicked.

“Yeah, I can recall a few,” she says wryly. Her hand slides over Kara’s thigh and squeezes, and Kara shifts slightly in her seat, remembering a whole new stack of memories that started in a car.

They might have to pull over.

“Remember those plans you made?” Kara says, and Lena’s hand stills. “For the…basement extension?”

“For the…oh,” Lena breathes, and she can tell that in this moment they’re thinking about exactly the same thing.

When Conner was in the 8^th grade, Lena had drawn up architectural plans for what essentially amounted to the sex dungeon that Kara had half-joked about years before. A St. Andrew’s Cross, a bed with integrated restraints, a wall displaying crops and toys – Lena had thought of everything, even things they hadn’t tried yet, and it’s stuck with Kara ever since. It had been an entertaining idea, but one they both knew could never come to fruition with a curious kid in the house.

“I was thinking…” Kara ventures, staring determinedly out the windshield. “Conner is only going to be coming home on holidays. We could get it done before Thanksgiving.”

She can feel Lena’s eyes on her. She breaks her gaze from the road to meet Lena’s across the car, and after a few seconds of contemplation…

Lena smiles.