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Two Scientists Walk Into A Bar (Restaurant)...

Summary:

In the busy streets of Ravnica's Precinct One, an overbooked Izzet engineer and a Simic terraformer talk about their lives as guild loyalists.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Two Scientists Walk Into A Bar (Restaurant)…

 

Precinct One.

 

The topmost level of Ravnica, and the best that the demiplane-city had to offer; it was the epitome of class, order, and sophistication, with Orzhov connections rooted deep and every move made watched by the Azorius. It was a place where gossip, conversation and interaction between members of all guilds was common, with most of them being fairly congenial with one another in spite of any rivalries that existed. Fights that came to physical blows were rare; the arresters made sure of that.

 

In one of the Precinct’s many restaurants, an Izzet engineer sat alone at a two-person booth, her menu covered by an intricate, detailed anatomy of a large, rhomboid construct. She looked over it while measuring the dimensions with a ball-bearing compass, her tongue stuck out in concentration.

 

She wore a mizzium apparatus on her fairly small frame, complete with a set of bracers and a bulky, cylindrical tube slung over her shoulder across her back, but even this was not her most intriguing trait. No, the two things that set her apart were her green skin tone and eyes, rather than the usual blue (her fellow engineers had hand-waved her as being a special case, and nothing more) and the pair of prosthetics that replaced her legs just below the knee, both lost in an experiment gone south.

 

She ruffled her yellow-blonde hair as she struggled to properly comb over her plans for this new construct that she was planning, a pilotable metal body that could be used for a variety of tasks, both peaceful and aggressive. Her partner was working on a set of plans of her own, and she was supposed to be here fairly soon so they could finish everything up... not that she was looking forward to it. If she had it her way, she would have all the time in the world to make all of the perfect measurements and calculations, but Niv-Mizzet had grown impatient and ordered that the plans be concluded by the end of the week, whether it was finished or not be damned.

 

Peridot knew that she should have felt honored to have her efforts noticed by the Izzet Guildmaster himself, but his haste to get the project rolling grated on her to no end; she prided herself in having reason. While most of her fellow engineers were more than happy to blow their shit up and roll with the punches, she valued having the things she planned out actually work the first time around.  

 

“Is it okay if I sit here?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” The Izzet scientist responded, too deeply invested in her work to consider the words coming out of your mouth. That was until she did, prompting her to look up to refute her statement.

 

“Actually, no, my par--”

 

Her words caught in her throat as she beheld the stranger sitting across from her, a pretty young woman with a faint light blue skin tone, rich blue hair, and a blue dress. She cradled in her arms a strange creature that looked like a pumpkin with a dog’s snout and legs, as well as a thin, vine-like tail. 

 

The engineer continued to struggle in finding her voice as she found herself staring at her... both of which the other woman noticed.

 

“What?”

 

“Wha... nothing, nothing. Errant thought. Nothing important.”

 

It was a lie, of course, something that the taller woman seemed to be aware of if the deadpan expression on her face was anything to go by. Nonetheless, she didn’t seem to think it was worth commenting on, instead turning her head away from her and back to whatever she was pondering on.

 

The pumpkin-thing yawned from its perch in the woman’s arms, drawing the Izzet engineer’s attention back to it.

 

“What is that thing?”

 

Much to her excitement (for some reason), her inquiry succeeded in getting the other woman’s attention. She turned around fully to address her, allowing her to catch a glimpse of the insignia on her dress.

 

A turquoise tree with flowing, wavy branches and a trunk that curved heavily to the right; the symbol of the Simic Combine. Even if that somehow didn’t convince the technician, the woman’s response did.

 

“It’s a krasis that I made, though it’s nothing compared to some of the others I’ve whipped up. This one’s probably my favorite, though... easy to carry around and easy to manage, for the most part.”

 

“Do you have a name for it?”

 

“Pumpkin.”

 

“Really imaginative.”

 

“Do you have a better name?”

 

“Well… no.” The artificer replied honestly.

 

The Simic follower smirked in turn. “Well, that settles it, then.”

 

They were silent for a moment.

 

“What is it that you have there?”

 

“Why are you curious?”

 

“Well, you’re an Izzet who actually took interest in this happy little accident.” She rubbed Pumpkin’s chin affectionately. “So I just thought I’d return the favor.”

 

“Fair enough. It’s one in a set of plans that me and my partner are working on. It’s… how do I describe it… you’ve heard of golems, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Think that, except that you can pilot them.”

 

“Ah, that makes sense.”

 

“The problem is that we’re both on borrowed time. Our project caught the eye of our Guildmaster, and he wants the blueprints done by the end of the week.”

 

“You’re Guildmaster? You mean Niv-Mizzet?” The Simic woman responded, barely concealing the disdainful amusement in her voice... a sentiment that the Izzet found herself agreeing to.

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

That seemed to actually surprise her, her enthused expression quickly falling.

 

“Wait… you, an Izzet, think that way about your group’s Guildmaster?”

 

“Unlike a lot of my fellows, yes. It wasn’t always like that... I used to be as fanatical in my admiration of him as any other Izzet. That was before Pearl, my partner, got me to see him for who he really was: a legitimately capable individual who’s too impulsive, temperamental, impatient and arrogant to efficiently channel his skills and resources. After that personal epiphany, I only stayed because they’re the only Guild to really focus on technology, the thing I love doing the most, and I only keep my mouth shut about my opinions of him in the presence of other Izzet is because I know he could kill me without breaking a sweat.”

 

“Hmm… well, I can safely say that it’s nice to see an Izzet who actually has an opinion about their Guildmaster aside from ‘He’s the greatest thing in the whole city of Ravnica!’ Speaking of which, is there anything else you don’t like about your Guild?”

 

“Only how they treat technological innovation. They care more about how or why something blew up or started on fire rather than the fact that it did so in the first place, and they don’t even learn why for the sake of avoiding the mistake on their next attempt. Me and Pearl? When we make something, we want it to actually bring something to the table as soon as possible; damage to equipment and supplies only wastes time and valuable resources. And that’s not even going into to threat it brings to people. For example…”

 

She shifted in her chair, wheeling her legs around so she could show the other woman her prosthetics. Said woman’s expression said it all.

 

That is what happens when you destroy a rampant galvanice weird in close quarters.”

 

“Well, that looks… bad.”

 

The engineer readjusted herself in her seat, bringing her focus wholly back on the scientist before her.

 

“So… is there anything you don’t like about the Simic Combine?”

 

“Not really... at least, nothing comparable to what you just told me. I suppose it helps that the Simic are, from what I know, a lot more level-headed and realistic in comparison.”

 

“From what little I too have seen of them, I can agree.”

 

The Simic scientist smiled, small but warm nonetheless. “Y’know, maybe you’d consider joining. I’m sure that everyone would greet you openly there, with your kind of mindset.”

 

“I think not. With all due respect, the Simic aren’t really into technology like the Izzet are… are they?”

 

“No.” She confessed.

 

“I thought so. And as much as the other Izzet drive me crazy, stuff like this…”

 

One of the bracers in her mizzium apparatus sparked with power as she briefly stood up, promptly firing a blast of green energy into the roof, causing a clump of debris to come down on top of her and startling everyone in the residence.

 

“...is where the magic’s at.” She concluded, dusting off her hair.

 

Her attention was diverted with the sound of someone gruffly clearing their voice, causing her to turn to a female minotaur bartender with tawny orange fur and jade-green horns.

 

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to not do that again.”

 

She cowered back somewhat under the minotaur’s hostile gaze, chuckling sheepishly. “Right. Sorry.”

 

Almost immediately disregarding her, the minotaur turned her gaze back to the Simic scientist, winking at her with a wolfish smile. The engineer caught her current other half rolling her eyes at the gesture, before the former sat back down.

 

“Who was that?” She asked, whispering so as to avoid bringing attention to herself from the party in question.

 

“Jasper. She was an old flame of mine, emphasis on was .”

 

“What happened between the two of you?”

 

A moment of silence. 

 

“You’ve heard of the Malachite Incident, right?”

 

“The Category 3 krasis that broke free of Simic control and took weeks to put down? Yeah, I’ve heard of it.”

 

“Malachite was mine.” The Simic revealed tactlessly. “And Jasper let it out.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah… she talked me into showing her where I work, got into stuff that she wasn’t supposed to, and wound up releasing it. To be honest, I still don't know what I was doing, regarding our relationship... I never really liked her anyway.”

 

“Did you two get into any trouble?”

 

“Jasper, hoo yeah. The Azorius still haven’t taken their eyes off of her. As for me, I was kicked out of the Krasis Labs for a little bit, which wasn’t that much of a loss; I’m a terraformer, so I’m more into things like water and agriculture.” 

 

They both heard footsteps, and they both turned to see a thin, pale woman with pointy orange hair and a ton of papers in her arms come over to their table. She had to raise her neck over the mountain of blueprints and plans in order to see them.

 

“I… trust I’m not interrupting anything?”

 

“Oh! I completely forgot! I’m sorry about this, but I actually reserved this seat for my partner. I guess I was just so caught up in our conversation that it slipped my mind…”

 

“That’s fine, I understand.” She replied honestly, getting up off of the seat with Pumpkin still in her arms. “I was nice talking with you, at least.”

 

“Yeah… it was.”

 

Pearl had just begun to sit down and the Simic terraformer had just begun to leave when the engineer decided to say something else, as well.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

The taller woman turned in response to that.

 

“I mean, it’s just, I don’t think we ever introduced ourselves while we were talking… my name’s Peridot.”

 

“Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

 

“Well... Lapis, I was wondering if we could… meet up again sometime? Maybe talk about things some more?”

 

Lapis smiled. “I’d love to. I’ll see you then, Peridot.”

 

“You too…”

 

After that, she finally left, leaving out the double-doors of the restaurant and merging back into the innumerable masses of the Tenth District Plaza.

 

Such was just another day in Precinct One, the topmost of the six Precincts of Ravnica.

Notes:

So this is just another gift-fic for you, Bean... I remember you saying that you liked Magic: The Gathering- I just hope that I did that justice here too. :)