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It’s a breezy afternoon on the Isle of Man. The Sun is bright above them, seagulls are crying, the waves are crashing against the cliffs below. The grass around them is as green as it can be, the trees are in full bloom. Right now, this is the most beautiful place in the world.
Dan and Phil are sitting on the side of a hill, watching the scenery in front of them. Phil’s parents are standing further away from the boys, talking. Dan can’t help but notice the secret glances Kath gives them, with a smile on her face.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Dan asks. He turns towards Phil and sees the wind ruffling his boyfriend’s hair. “You’re so cute.”
“They’re probably discussing their plans to take over the world.”
“Seems likely.” Dan puts his head on Phil’s shoulder who promptly kisses his hair. “It’s nice to get away.”
“It is. As much as I like being on tour, I can’t wait to get home for good.”
“I know, right? I love our bed too much.”
Phil tuts in agreement, but doesn’t say anything else. For a while, they’re just sitting there, watching the peaceful Irish Sea. If it wasn’t so far from everything, Dan wouldn’t mind living here. Maybe 30 years in the future, they can just buy a retirement home here and live out their golden years.
He can’t wait for that future.
After a bit, Nigel and Kath join the boys. They sit on either side of them, Nigel next to his son, Kath next to Dan. Kath immediately takes Dan’s hand. Dan’s giant paw engulfs hers.
“Are you doing okay, love?” she asks him.
Dan appreciates her kindness, her gentle mothering she gives him. It’s not that his own mother doesn’t do gestures like that. Karen does, but Dan needed it 15 years ago when she was too busy.
“Yeah, thanks. I mean I’m exhausted, but you know I like being here, so this kind of recharges me.”
“How’s the tour going?”
“It’s good!” He smiles at her. Dan almost bursts into happy tears, he loves her and how caring she is. “How’s the renovation going?”
“Oh, you know us, it’ll never be done. We always find something to do.”
“And I wonder whose fault that is…” Nigel adds.
“Watch yourself, now.” Kath laughs. She moves so she’s sat even closer to Dan. She lowers her voice when she asks, “How are you kids doing?”
“We’re okay.”
“Just okay?”
“No, I mean, we’re great, you know that. Phil still pisses me off from time to time, when he leaves his socks everywhere, when he eats my cereal. You know he doesn’t even like the kind I like.”
“He gets that from his father,” Kath says with a sigh. “We’ve been married for almost four decades, yet I can’t get him to change. I believe they’re lost causes.”
“That they are.”
On the other side, Dan can hear Nigel and Phil quietly talk about something. He likes this, spending time with his chosen family.
“Dan, love, can I ask you something?”
“Uh, sure.”
“What are your plans?”
Kath needs to be specific. For tonight or for next year? Either way, Dan’s not sure. “What do you mean?”
“I know you’re busy with the tour right now and well, everything that comes after, but have you thought about the future? Have you talked about it with Phil?”
“Yeah, I mean, obviously. There are no set plans, really, but it’s clear that we’re buying a house soon, maybe next year.”
“That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.” Kath smiles at him. He knows her well enough to know that there’s something else, something she wants to ask, but she’s not sure if she’s allowed to ask that. “You can ask me the question, Kath.”
She chuckles. “I guess, Phil gets that from me?”
“He does.”
She takes a deep breath and says, “Are you getting married, Dan? Are you going to have kids? I want grandbabies and Martyn isn’t giving me any, I don’t think.”
He laughs, just to hide his nervousness, but that can’t conceal his red cheeks. “Marriage, yeah, I think. Phil wants to and I do too, even though it scares me to hell. I haven’t really had the best example, have I?”
“That’s okay, I know you two, you’ll make it work.” She strokes his head. “Grandbabies?”
“God, you’re a menace aren’t you?”
“Phil gets that from me as well, his stubbornness. I know it’s… heteronormative or one of those fancy words you like so much and I’m not forcing you, but you two would be great parents. Just imagine a tiny thing in Phil’s arms, Dan.”
He almost says ‘yes’ to her right here and now. His heart melts at that image: Phil, in his stupid emoji pyjamas, holding a tiny baby in a white Winnie the Pooh baby grow. God, he wants that so much.
“I’ve always wanted to be a father. I think Phil does too. I mean, life threw a curveball at me with his whole… Anyway, we’ve talked about this, but we’re kind of avoiding this topic? No reason why, but it’s big and it’s too real so we’re just… not talking about this.”
“I know, love, you’ve got time. It’s something you two need to discuss privately. I just hope that once you’re ready to share, you will.”
“Definitely, Kath.” He leans in and kisses her cheek. “We just need to raise that kid to be better than either of us.”
“Oh, you will, I trust you.”
Dan looks at Phil and he sees Phil already staring at him.
“I love you,” Phil whispers with a smile. “You know I’ve heard you just now.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. House next year, marriage in ‘20, kids after?”
“A solid plan,” Dan laughs. “Are you sure about this?”
“I know this is sudden and whatnot, but you were right, I do want that.”
“Okay, good.”
With one hand in Phil’s, other in Kath’s, Dan sighs. He’s never been happier. Life is good, the future looks really good. Now there’s just one issue left to tackle, and for the first time, Dan feels positive about that.