Archive of Our Own ^beta

They stood back to back to back, staring down the horde of monsters. Part of Dean was terrified, God had abandoned them, free will was a lie, and now he was facing everything he’d destroyed in his forty years of hunting. The other part couldn’t help but think that if he was going to die, this was how he wanted it. Back to back with not only his brother but the love of his life, doing what they did best. His fist clenched down on the metal rod as a zombie growled at him.

“Dean,” a voice called. Dean couldn’t concentrate on it. The zombie was closing in.

“Dean, wake up,” the voice called again. Dean shook his head and prepared to swing at the zombie. Suddenly, the zombie wasn’t there. In fact, none of the monsters were there. Dean blinked. He couldn’t feel the warmth of Sam or Cas at his back anymore. The dark cemetery swam before his eyes, almost as if he was going to pass out.

“What the-,” he didn’t finish the exclamation because suddenly he wasn’t in the cemetery. He was laying on the ground, his hands empty of the steel rod, staring at a grated concreted ceiling. The Bunker. He was back in the Bunker, for some reason.

“Wha?” he said, or tried to. His throat felt like he hadn’t used it in years, it was simultaneously raw and completely dry. Dean blinked again, completely confused. He tried to swallow, trying to get some liquid down his raw throat, and tried to figure out what the hell was happening. He was groggy, like he’d been asleep for a long time. It was then when his hearing flicked back on. He heard rustling and the unmistakable sounds of both Cas and Sam groaning. Dean tried to sit up to check on them, make sure they were okay, but a hand stopped him.

“Easy there, Dean. Take it slow, you’ve all been out for quite a while.” Dean turned his head to follow the hand and his face instantly soured. He was looking at Chuck. But he looked . . . different than when he last saw him. Younger, brighter, but somehow more haggard.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean tried to growl, but it came out a whisper.

“We have a lot of things to talk about, I, I have a lot of explaining to do. But you’ve got to take it easy or you’ll hurt yourself,” Chuck said, and he actually looked away in shame. Dean gritted his teeth and forced himself up on his elbows, though his arms shook as he did it. He felt like he’d just done back to back hunts without food. Chuck rolled his eyes but rocked back on his heels, taking his hands off Dean. Dean looked around.

Sam was sitting up against the war table and he looked . . . he looked younger, his hair was longer. What the hell was going on? Sam was looking just as confused. Dean looked to his left to see Cas. Cas, of course, looked exactly the same, but there was something in his face that made Dean’s heart clench. He was looking from Dean to Chuck in awe, happiness, and . . . fondness. Dean hadn’t seen Cas look at him like that in a very long time. What stunned Dean and literally almost made his arms collapse, were the last two people. One was mom, but she . . .  she had long hair again, like when he first met her after Amara. The other was Lady Toni. She was still passed out, sitting in one of the chairs.

Dean rolled onto his side and sat up, sitting crossed-legged and continued to stare around. Sam was looking at him with the same shock he knew was on his face. Chuck rolled to his feet easily and walked a few paces to Cas. Not crowding the Angel, but close enough to touch. Dean glanced warily at them before looking back at Sam. They exchanged a look, a silent question of ‘are you okay?’ and ‘what the hell?’. The first was answer with a nod, the second with a shrug. Dean let out a silent sigh.

“Chuck,” he growled, his voice feeling slightly better, “what the fuck is going on?” Chuck looked up from his own silent communication with Cas and stood up.

“Let’s get you all into chairs, this is going to be a long conversation and I know you’d rather be as comfortable as you can. Castiel, if you would please help them up. I very much doubt they’d want me touching them, not after what they saw.” Chuck shuffled backwards, sitting down on a stool that appeared behind him and running a hand through his hair.

Cas immediately stood up and offered Dean his hand. Dean looked from him to the hand, all the anger and pain from the last . . . well, the last almost three years, boiling up once more. Dean looked into his eyes and saw fondness there.

“Come on Dean, just take my hand,” he said softly. Dean swallowed and grasped Cas’s hand tightly. Immediately Cas’s other hand gripped his elbow and pulled him upright. His hand went to Dean’s left shoulder to steady him. Instantly Dean felt a surge of warmth as Cas’s hand slotted into place above where the handprint used to be. Cas hadn’t touched him like this since . . . since before he started his hunt for Lucifer. Cas smiled softly at him before nodding and moving on to help both Mary and Sam. Sam’s eyes were as wide as saucers when he looked at Mary. Mary smiled but it came out more as a grimace.

“Hello, Sam,” she muttered as Castiel helped her to her feet. She glanced at Dean with that same smile-grimace, “Hello, Dean.”

“Mom,” Sam breathed, shocked. He opened and closed his mouth several time, but no words came out. What do you say in a situation like this? Mary didn’t seem to know what to say either, she just sat down in one of the chairs and looked at her hands. If Dean didn’t know any better, he would say her head was bowed in shame. Dean, feeling too confused, turned to Chuck.

“Explain.” He ordered. Chuck rolled his eyes and waved to the chairs behind them. Dean huffed but couldn’t help but sink into a chair, his legs still shaking. Sam did the same. Meanwhile Cas stood by the end of the table, shifting on his feet as if undecided. He turned to stare at Chuck with his famous unblinking gaze.

“First of all,” Chuck started, looking from one Winchester to the next, “I want to apologize to all of you. What I became, what I did, was not only unfair but also extremely dangerous and I am so sorry for the harm and destruction that I caused.”

“Well, you can take your apology and shove it up your ass,” Dean growled. Chuck froze for a second before nodding.

“I deserved that,” he muttered, almost to himself. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair once more, making it even more wild than it already was.

“I want to say, explain, that I was . . . under an influence.” Suddenly the air beside Chuck shimmered and Amara appeared, leaning against her brother with her arms around him.

“It was my fault,” she said, sounding very guilty. Chuck reached up and gripped her arm in support, leaning back into her. They truly seemed to be two halves in that moment. Breathing, moving, shifting, together, as if they always had.

“It was,” he agreed, and Amara sighed, “but not completely. We had some . . . calibration issues and I didn’t foresee the consequences until too late.” Amara made a soft, twittering sound that made Cas stand up straight and his eyes widen. Chuck looked up at her.

“It was just as much mine,” Amara reasoned. “Remember, I’m basically omniscient too.” He smiled a little and shook his head. He gave his sister a soft look and Amara stared at him defiantly.

“Yes, but you’re still learning how it’s work. I’ve had that power since . . . forever. I can’t fault you for not stretching muscles you didn’t even realize you had and didn’t know how to use,” Chuck shot back. Amara huffed and rolled her eyes at her brother.

“Agree to disagree,” she offered. Chuck nodded and turned back toward the Winchesters. At their confused expressions he started to explain again. Amara did not move away, she just seemed to settle against his back, arms wrapped around him. Chuck didn’t seem to mind or even be aware of his sister as he dove back into his explanation.

“When Amara and I went away, we had to share a lot. Not just words or histories or stories, but literally pieces of each other. We had to find a better balance than what we used to have, because that wasn’t working. And it couldn’t be just a balance between us two, but the Universes as well. It,” Chuck stopped and seemed to struggle for the right words. Amara took over.

“It wasn’t a perfect fit right away. I gave too much of myself for him to take on. The man you met in that graveyard, that was Chuck with a large chunk of darkness in him, too much. That was his worst intentions coming out, as well as his light trying to fight against what it saw as an infection. It was . . . the worst of him. And I’m sorry about that,” Amara paused and looked down in guilt. Chuck leaned back into her and Amara squeezed her arms tighter around her brother. They took a moment before Amara looked back up and met Dean and Sam’s eyes.

“Thankfully, that will never happen now,” she said with conviction.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Dean asked, a little less angry. He didn’t know why, but Amara’s presence calmed some of his anger toward Chuck. But he was still royally confused. What did they mean that would never happen? What happened to the graveyard? What about all the demons and ghosts and everything that Chuck let out? Was that . . . reversed? Why was Chuck suddenly different? Why the fuck was Mom and Lady Toni suddenly alive!? So many things didn’t make sense right now.

“I’m sorry about not explaining this before,” Chuck said, hitting himself on the forehead, “it’s 2018. What you all just experienced, it was a very involved vision of your potential future. A very dark potential future, but unfortunately still a potential. The past three years that you’ve experienced were an in-depth view of your future reality. Reality, not alternate universe. It was a worst case what if.” Everyone’s mouth dropped open at the deity’s statement. Mary looked less shocked, but her eyes still widened. Castiel seemed to freeze.

“W-what if?” Sam stuttered, not knowing where to start. There were so many things to unpack from that one statement. Chuck nodded.

“I now realize just how important it is to stick with your family, to try and not go off alone. And that is doubly true for you all. Everything you just experienced is because you didn’t stick together, because you split up or let other people divide you. You are stronger together than apart or at each other’s throat. Now, I know what you’re thinking,” Chuck held up his hands to stop any arguments.

“It was partially my fault; I will fully admit that. I will freely admit that my own mistakes had a part to play, but I’ll fix that now. Lucifer will come with us. Now you’ll never have to deal with that damned Nephilim again. I am so sorry for everything he did, to all of you,” Chuck looked to Cas, his eyes pleading.

Cas actually smiled and nodded. “Of course, Father, I forgive you. You weren’t even in this Universe when that was happening, were you?”

Chuck sighed, “No, we, we thought it was smarter to just . . . go out on our own. If I had known what he was doing to you, what he was doing to all of you, to Earth, I would have stopped it sooner. I swear.” Dean was just getting more and more confused as Chuck continued to talk.

“What do you mean? What the fuck was Jack doing?” Dean asked, getting angry again. One minute things were starting to make sense, the next everything he thought he knew was thrown up in the air and scrambled once again.

“Jack was evil, Dean,” Cas said instead, making everyone turn toward him. Sam’s mouth dropped back open and he gasped. Even Mary was looking at Castiel, stunned. Dean narrowed his eyes but let Cas continue.

“He mind-controlled me into being on his side and then when I died, he used a piece of my Grace to make a minion. The Castiel that was brought back was that minion, programed to put him above everything else but also be enough like me to fool you and to seem normal, or what he thought was ‘normal’, from what he read from my Grace. I don’t know how long he expected to fool you once it started choosing him over you, but I’m honestly surprised it lasted as long as it did.”

Dean looked down, suddenly feeling . . . horrible. Part of him wanted to deny it, wanted to make this Cas be held to his actions, his decisions. Wanted to yell and say that this was an excuse, of course it was Cas! The other part . . . the other part started to see the signs, the signs of something wrong, of something that wasn’t his Cas. He started to see how this wasn’t the Cas that he’d fought tooth and nail for in Purgatory, this wasn’t the Cas who’d offered to go with him into certain death more than once. His eyes had been opened. This wasn’t the Cas who gave up everything; Heaven, an army, his life, for him, for Dean. And his heart grew heavy. He’d, he’d believed that it was Cas. Even when his gut clenched and his heart broke as fake!Cas chose Jack over and over again; he’d still thought it was his Cas.

He’d . . . hoped, he’d prayed that it was his Cas. That the man who promised to never change, the man who literally started a civil war with his own kind to keep the world, him, safe; the man whose love for him was so strong it broke through Angel Control; the man who sacrificed himself over and over, was still in there . . . somewhere. He’s prayed that the Cas he loved, the Cas who’d chosen him, again and again, was still there. And then when Cas chose Jack over him, when he sided with Jack over him, when he went away because of Jack even when he asked him to stay, when he made a horrible deal because of Jack, when he’d chosen to comfort his mother’s killer instead of him; he’d thought . . . he thought Cas was finally moving on. He thought Cas was finally done with him.

But now everything made so much sense. He was such an idiot, and he claimed to love Cas! Yet he believed that the man he loved would choose some monster over him, immediately. He’d believed the horrible lie Jack was trying to spew, he thought so little of Cas that he truly believed he would make those choices. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Cas looking at him with such fondness, a fondness that he’d missed so much, that his breath caught.

“We were all tricked, Dean. Please, do not berate yourself. He was very good at pretending. His manipulation ran deep and subtle. We will have time to . . . talk, after things are more cleared up.”

Chuck then cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention, giving Dean enough time to blink away the burning in his eyes. “You put it very aptly Castiel, Jack manipulated you all, but there is one other thing you did not see. He was . . .” Chuck cleared his throat as if the thought pained him, “He was capturing angels and taking their Grace to consume . . . for his own, ah, protection.” Chuck’s face twisted into a grimace and Amara’s arm tightened.

“Do you mean to tell us he was eating-,” Mary couldn’t even finish the thought. She didn’t have to. Chuck nodded gravely. Mary looked like she was going to be sick, her hand clamped over her mouth. Dean was just frozen in place, unable to process what Chuck was saying, the words repeating in his head. Sam.exe seemed to have stopped working entirely. It couldn’t be. He . . . he couldn’t be so, so . . . No, why?

“It was why he was so powerful. No Nephilim, not even an Archangel’s, can be more powerful than their parents. I knew something was going on when he broke out of the Ma'lak box. But, by then I was too . . .” Chuck trailed off and looked away, ashamed. Amara took over.

“Jack had been convinced early on by Asmodeus, as Donatello, that consuming Grace would bolster his powers. When Asmodeus was found out, Jack didn’t forget the idea. He soon tried it and found that it worked very well. This was when he searched for Mary in the Alternate Universe. Since then, he continued doing so. He saw nothing wrong with tearing the Grace from Angels he thought underserving. Which was why there were so little when Naomi faced Castiel.” Horror filled them all, turning their blood to ice. Their minds screamed at the thought of exactly what Jack, what that monster, was doing.

“I want you all to know,” Chuck continued where Amara left off, meeting the gaze of each Winchester, “that his actions are not your fault. It wasn’t because you ‘raised’ him wrong. Jack was evil from the start; they always are when they’re born like that. Nephilim born of a human are always insane, Jack was just smarter about it than most. He was a true psychopath with no empathy and no true morality. He saw no problem with hurting people and could never understand their pain or the moral lessons you tried to teach him. He would never understand right and wrong and why they mattered.” Chuck let that sink in before continuing,

“I want you to understand also, he was not a baby. He may have been two years old chronologically, but he had the mind and understanding of a 27-year-old. He absorbed his mother’s memories and just threw away the lessons he didn’t like, those that didn’t fit what he wanted to do. It was not your job to teach him, you did not fail him,” Chuck emphasized, looking to Sam and Cas. Sam looked like his world was ending, pain and guilt already trying to consume him. Cas was just . . . sad, knowing. Chuck hoped his words alleviated at least a small amount of guilt.

“He was driven insane before he was existing outside of Kelly. Grace cannot live inside of a human body and soul like that without corrupting both the soul, and itself. It will poison itself like that. I’ve dealt with Nephilim before, and it’s always the same. They can’t change, they are stuck in their ways and that will always drive them to extremes.”

The room fell silent as they tried to absorb that information. Sam looked shell shocked, but he was nodding, as if, even though he didn’t want to believe it, everything now made sense. Cas just looked sad and Dean realized that out of all of them, he was the most removed. It wasn’t even him who had fought for Jack so hard, it was a Fake!Cas. Cas had the least to lose.

Dean looked back at his brother and his mother. He knew Sam would be affected by this the most. He had tried so hard with that kid, no, that monster, and to find out just how horrible Jack actually was. . . It was a blow, especially when time and time again Sam had defended Jack against Dean. And Dean had been right, all along. Dean couldn’t even feel satisfaction with this giant I told you so, because it hurt Sam. Sam had trusted someone over Dean again, and it had bit him in the ass, again. It would take a while before they could move on from this. And even though Dean’s heart went out to his brother, he was still hurting from Sam questioning him so much, after everything they’ve gone through. Dean looked away from his brother to his mother.

Mary looked like she didn’t know what to feel or do. Dean knew it would be a hard slog back from this blow for her. But, she out of all of them, probably saw this betrayal coming. Jack had killed her. He’d already shown to her that he was untrustworthy, that he would hurt anyone who got into his way. But she’d tried to be there for him, and it still hurt.

The one bright point Dean felt, was that he at least had her back and could be there for her, if she let him. Dean then turned to think about what he’d just heard. He felt a range of emotions. From sadness to betrayal to anger to concern to just . . . weariness. He’d been right and even though he tried to fight it, he’d been sucked in and it had all gone to shit. In a bigger way than he’d ever expected it to. God, he was an idiot. How many times did they have to do this song and dance before he finally stuck to his guns and stood his ground?

A hand fell on his shoulder and Cas was suddenly there, crouching down to looking him in the eye. Piercing, bright blue eyes, drilled into him and Dean was helpless to look away. Determination, passion, fury, pain, love all filled Cas’s eyes and Dean was swept under the wave of emotion Cas conveyed.

“Stop,” Cas whispered, commanded, “please stop beating yourself up, Dean,” He kept his voice low as he continued, making sure Dean was looking at him and understanding what he was saying.

“It wasn’t your fault. He played us all. You love your family and that is an amazing quality, please do not degrade yourself like this. You and Sam have nearly broken apart in the past because of these types of disagreements, it isn’t wrong to not want that to happen again.”

“Cas,” Dean said lowly back, his voiced thick, “if I had just been firmer, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten as far as it did. If I just hadn’t . . .” Dean trailed off, knowing he would always try to protect his relationship with Sam even if it meant doing something he knew was wrong. Cas put his arm around Dean’s shoulder in an uncharacteristic show of affection and hugged him tightly. Dean sank into warmth of Cas, gripping his shoulder tightly and trying hard not to cry. It felt so overwhelming.

“I know you love your brother,” Cas whispered into his shoulder, still holding him tight, “and I know how hurt you have been in the past. You want to keep this relationship safe. You see it as your job, your purpose, to protect and care for Sam; keep him happy, keep him safe, even if that means going along with bad plans so you are there to protect him,” Cas pulled away and put his hands on Dean’s shoulder, making sure to keep eye contact.

“But Sam is his own man, he can make his own decisions. I know you want to protect him, but he needs to learn, on his own. He has to fail, on his own. You can’t always be his safety net, or he will never learn.” Dean looked down, away from Cas, guilty and conflicted all at once. Cas gently hooked a finger on Dean’s chin and made him look at him, his eyes soft and compassionate,

“You can change this, Dean. You can break the cycle. I know you want to protect your brother, but you also have to remember that a lot of the situations we get into, are world defining. Sometimes, the world has to come first. You have to make the best decision for the world first, and worry about Sam second.” It went against everything Dean had been taught, every instinct he had drilled into him, but he also knew Cas was right. He had to break this cycle. Maybe this was the wake up he needed. Dean sighed but nodded.

“I, I hear ya,” he whispered. Cas dropped his hand and gave Dean that big gummy smile he’d missed so much. Cas pulled away slightly, not going far, still crouching near Dean’s seat, but giving the hunter space to process. The war room was silent for a time as everyone fell into their own thoughts. Mary had her head buried in her hands and Sam was simply staring at a wall, seemingly deep in his thoughts. He silently shed tears.

“Besides informing you about Jack’s intention, there was a lesson in this vision,” Amara said, drawing everyone’s attention back toward her. Mary glanced up through her hair, but otherwise didn’t move. Sam blinked and refocused on the deities.

“Lesson? What lesson?” Sam asked, voice breaking. Chuck looked at Sam sadly.

“You have to stick together. All of you,” Chuck looked around, his eyes landing more heavily on Mary and Cas.

“These problems could have been solved or more easily handled if you’d had each other’s backs.” Chuck turned to the eldest Winchester.

Mary,” he called, causing her to sit up straight and meet his eyes bravely, though her own eyes glittered with unshed tears. “My sister -,” Chuck started but Amara put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. She took a step forward.

“I have never brought a living thing back from another dimension,” she said, “Chuck taught me how he does it. When he brings someone back, he wraps them in his Grace, surrounds them with his light, and hold onto them until their body is ready. This is how I brought you back. What neither of us realized was when you surround a being with Darkness, that darkness can rub off, especially since it was my first time. Some of my . . . energy, my emotions, transferred onto you when I restored you.” Now it was Chuck’s turn to stop Amara as she started to choke up.

“You are not blameless for your actions Mary Winchester, but your coldness, your sharpness, your detachedness from Sam and Dean, can be partially explained by my Sister’s influence. You still made those decisions. You still saw how you hurt your sons, and you still sided with someone who hurt them. You still left them, again and again. Those are your burdens to bear. Now, I have removed Amara’s influence, you are as you should be,” Chuck paused and seemed to pull himself to his full height.

He stared Mary down and said in a very serious voice, “I will warm you Mary Winchester, the woman you were, was not worthy of Heaven. Do not make the same mistakes again.” The room seemed to shake minutely with his voice. Mary shook with it, but she stayed strong and nodded.

“I swear I won’t, and . . . for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Chuck stared her down for a moment and Mary didn’t break eye contact. After a minute, Chuck nodded silently and some of the hard edges surrounding him, softened. He relaxed back onto his stool and leaned back into Amara.

“I know,” was all he said. Mary sighed and looked down. Chuck turned toward Cas. The Angel stood up straight from his crouch beside Dean and faced his father head on. Chuck face softened even more.

“Cas, my little Castiel. There are so many things I wish to say to you. The biggest is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you think I didn’t love you, that I cared more for Lucifer’s attention than yours. I don’t think you want me to change what was done, but I am hoping we can move forward,” Chuck looked sad, resigned even, but there was a spark of hope in his face.

“The reason I bring you back, time and again, is because I believe in you. I believe in your conviction, your will, that ability to never give up, but most of all, your love. You love with every atom of your Grace and it is a sight to see. You broke through everything thrown at you, again and again, to preserve my final message. To take care of humanity, to carry out the duty I charged you all with. But more than that, you became your own person. Against all odds, you held onto free will, and that is the most beautiful, amazing thing I’ve ever seen. So, I bring you back because you deserve it. Not for a duty, not for a person, but because you are worthy of being saved.”

Silent tears were trailing down Cas’s face. Dean felt a lurch in his stomach at Chuck’s final words. He’d never thought . . . no, that was a lie. He had stupidly hoped Cas had moved on from it. Deep down, Dean knew. He knew that Cas felt just as shitty as he did, that he was trying to prove himself worthy. Dean tried really hard not to tear himself a new one. He swore that he would work on this, that he would help Cas. Maybe it would help them both.

Cas stepped forward hesitantly. Chuck didn’t really open his arms, but rather let them fall to his sides, showing Cas he was there. Cas took the gesture for what it was and took the finally steps and embraced his father. His cries were silent as Chuck wrapped him tightly in his arms. The air shimmered and Dean could, for just a couple seconds, see the bare outline of a glowing, glittering mass of light wrap around black wings. He was seeing their true forms, or at least what his human brain could process.

“I forgive you, Father,” Cas said lowly, but Chuck shushed him.

“Shh, it’s okay. Please, don’t. It will take time and hard work. I know that. You do not need to easily forgive me because of who I am. In your own time, on your terms, then you can choose if you forgive me.” Cas paused and nodded into Chuck’s neck, slumping into his arms more fully. A great weight had been lifted. After a seemingly long time, Cas finally pulled away. He wiped at his face in embarrassment and Chuck reached for him but stopped before his hand could touch Cas. The Angel leaned into the hand and Chuck smiled, gently wiping the stray tears away.

“You have your own lesson here, Castiel,” Chuck said softly. Cas opened his eyes and stared straight at his Father.

“You are loved Castiel. You are loved and protected. These people, they care deeply for you. You are their family. You are a Winchester in every sense of the word except legally,” Chuck winked at that and Cas blushed a little, “They are your family. You do not need to do anything on your own. They are there to support you, to help you, to guide you, to be there with you through thick and thin. I know you want to try and spare them pain, or you think you have to make up for past slights, but leaving them, abandoning them to try and do it on your own, is not the answer.” Chuck paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

“There is nothing you have to make up for. You have earned forgiveness. You have been redeemed repeatedly. It is done and over with. You need to start moving on, moving forward. Make decisions, not based on trying to right past wrongs, but because they are the right thing to do, because they are what you want to do. I can’t emphasize enough; you have a family that loves you.” Chuck gently squeezed Cas’s face to emphasize the point,

“Be there with them, let them help carry your pain and anger and worries. That is what true families are for. They are there to support and raise you up just as you do the same. They will have your back. Let them share their pain and yours in turn. They will help you keep your head above water, they can pull you out of your head. But it is also a two-way street; just as they help and care and guide, so must you for them. Please, try to remember, you don’t have to do this alone.” Cas took in a shuttering breath and nodded.

“I will . . . try, father,” Chuck nodded and let go of Cas.

“That is all I ask. There is much I have to do, not just in this world, but in all worlds. There are many wrong I have to fix, but I promise to not abandon you again,” Chuck shrugged and some of his more causal air came back, “I’ll try to drop by every now and then, see how ya’ll are doing and if you need help.” Cas smiled and nodded. He stepped back and walked over to the table, finally taking a seat beside Dean. Meanwhile, Dean’s face had screwed up in anger once more.

“Yeah, hang on, all that shit that Michael said was true!? Did you really fucking abandon all those worlds?”

Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Its . . . complicated.” Dean stood up and glared.

“Well then, uncomplicate it,” he growled, glaring at Chuck and Amara. Chuck and Amara exchanged looks.

Chuck answered, “To put it in very basic terms, without Amara, I couldn’t unlock the walls between Universes.”

“That doesn’t sound that complicated,” Mary countered, narrowing her eyes at the deities. Chuck sighed aggressively.

“You humans, you don’t really get how I work, do you?” he muttered to himself. Amara wrapped her arm tighter around Chuck and he seemed to settle down. Both sat in thought for a moment before Amara’s eyes lit up.

“You understand how Castiel once describe angels as multidimensional wavelengths of light?” They all nodded, confused.

“Well, Chuck and I are . . . we are not just multidimensional, we’re multi-reality, multi-universal. There is only one true us. In everything. But in those other Universes there are . . . echoes of us. All of those Universes are what ifs? They are real but they aren’t . . . pure would be the best word. It’s hard to explain. Decision do branch off and there are universes where Chuck or I made different choices and those universes are where they played out.” They all looked at her in confusion and Amara sighed.

“For example,” she said after a moment, “there may be a universe where Chuck decided to let me out once he was able to notice what the Mark was doing to Lucifer, and so the Universe went a very different direction. But that Chuck, that me, are but echoes of us. Echoes are the wrong word . . .,” Now Amara was getting frustrated. Chuck took over.

“You have to understand; we exist everywhere and nowhere. I can inhabit every version of myself, see every possible future, see and experience every outcome, all at the same time. But for Amara, because of exactly what I did to her, she couldn’t. She was trapped beyond the worlds where I locked her up. So that example universe, could never move on until she was released in this one. But it’s more than that,” Chuck paused and looked down,

“I was so stupid, I didn’t understand, I didn’t know,” Amara bend down and hugged Chuck tightly. God sighed and leaned back into his Sister.

“I am so sorry,” Chuck made a similar trilling sound to what Amara made earlier and Cas shivered. Dean wasn’t unaffected this time. He could almost feel his bones shiver at what Chuck said. Somewhere in the way back of his mind, the part that still had the essence of Amara in it, told him exactly what Chuck had said. Her name. Her true name.

“We were young, we did not know, you were scared and I was mean. We are both sorry and we are fixing it now,” Amara said softly, only speaking to her brother now. Chuck nodded and sighed before looking back toward the Winchesters.

“Amara’s power is not just Darkness and Destruction; it’s Rebirth. And so, she can access the In-betweens. The spaces between spaces. The Space between worlds,” Suddenly Chuck’s eyes lit up and he grinned.

“I have the prefect visual,” he said, waving his hand. The lights shut off and suddenly they were looking at . . . what seemed to be a hologram.

“The universe, after many blueprints were set out and evolution ready to take over, started with a Bang. In this visual it was me clapping,” Chuck said and then slammed his hands together. Light exploded into the room and they were suddenly surrounded by thousands of stars and miniature galaxies.

“At the center, at the point of coming into existence,” Chuck continued, and the hologram seemed to zoom into his cupped hands, which at the center held a black ball, about the size of a baseball, “was a black hole. This black hole created a pathway to the In-betweens and beyond.” As he spoke the hologram once again zoomed in, diving into the black hole. They were surrounded by blackness for a moment before suddenly blinding white! The hologram zoomed out and they saw hundreds of black balls now surrounding them, all with whirling tunnels of black energy feeding from one ball to another, wrapping around others, joining up, splitting up, all against blinding white.

“Each ball represents a Universe. Because we were so young when I locked her away, there was only a handful of Universes, or in this case, Universes and sub-universes. A universe before the Universe where we dwelled for a long time. I could create and build my own Universes and Amara had her own domain. The In-betweens. The area between my creations, a balancing point. A place for her own that she could control and that she could let her power roam free without harm. Only she could access it, for this wasn’t a place for creation, but managing Darkness and Destruction.” Chuck took a moment to swallow tightly and they realized how hard this was for him to talk about.

“When I trapped my Sister beyond even her own In-betweens, I also . . . locked all the doors to the In-betweens. Only Amara could take me through, only she could walk there. I had to have her there to access the other Universes. So, when she was gone, I had no way of doing anything. I could watch, I could see, but part of me didn’t truly understand that the possible futures I saw, that I tried to correct, actually happened in one place or another. Without Amara, without her access to the In-between and her knowledge of the other worlds, I couldn’t connect it. I, I, part of me knew, part of me could feel the branch off of creation but I didn’t know what it meant. And even if I did, I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

“But, but you’re God!” Sam emphasized and Chuck chuckled.

“I am, Sam. But I’m also one half to a whole. Without Amara, I was incomplete. I didn’t have full range of my powers. I didn’t have knowledge that she would know because of how she operates in the worlds. There are things she can do that I can’t. I was fooling myself into thinking I could do everything all by myself. I was wrong.” Chuck stood up and faced Amara, offering her his hand. She took it. They glowed and their Dark and Light weaved together for a moment. They leaned their foreheads against each other and just, breathed. Meanwhile, the Winchesters were trying to absorb everything they’d just learned.

“But, but what about the other Universes. What’s going to happen to them now that you can access them?” Dean asked quietly. Chuck and Amara turned toward Dean, their full attention making him shift slightly.

“We have already begun fixing it. Going from Universe to Universe to see what can be salvaged. If it’s better for that Universe as a whole to end, then we do that. If we can fix it, even if it’s time travel, then we do that as well. A lot have been saved, a lot of been stopped from going dark. There are some that we don’t need to touch, like the dinosaur world, it’s functioning well on its own. There are others that had to end, that had gone too far; unfortunately, the Apocalypse world you know the most was one of them.” Dean looked stricken and angry.

“There were good people there! Just trying to survive! You could have helped them, gone back in time, stopped the prize fight!” he shouted. Chuck didn’t even blink. In a steady, calm voice he explained.

“Michael was . . . driven insane in a way that is more complex than I thought. He meddled but . . . in a sideways act. The loss of his brother the first time was . . . a grace cracking experience. In that universe, I wasn’t there to help in the aftermath. I chose to leave even before Lucifer was in the Cage. Michael, already cracking apart because of what he had to do to his brother, saw and had to deal with Lucifer’s actions all on his own. He was the one to watch as Lucifer created his armies. As his Grace continued to break, so did his heart. He saw Lucifer’s true coldness and cruelty, and suddenly the veil of his little brother was gone. Lucifer was truly the enemy in his eyes then, his love was destroyed as his Grace broke. His hatred for Lucifer grew. He was the one to lock Lucifer in the Cage, not me. He started to mirror Lucifer. He first blamed Lucifer for driving me away, and then he started to hate me, felt I was weak. Which, I admit, I was.” Chuck sighed and shook his head before continuing, more somberly,

“Michael meddled by throwing the Plan away, by decided he would destroy the thing he thought was the cause of all his problems. Lucifer. You have to understand Dean,” Chuck looked up at Dean, “When Michael and Lucifer fought, it didn’t just destroy half the planet; it destroyed a large chunk of the universe. Archangels, at their core, were created to help fight my Sister. Can you try to comprehend that amount of power?” Dean’s eyes widened as it finally sunk in just how powerful the Archangels were.

“There were innocents in that Universe, but it was so sick, so injured. Even if I tried to go back, to fix things that Michael now had the disposition to shatter. The potential futures all pointed to Michael falling apart; none of those aftermaths were good. Even if you were born, Michael would have been more unhinged. What he would have done to you and Sam,” Chuck cut himself off, closing his eyes in pain.

“I can’t bear to see my children that . . . insane,” he said, choking up, “I saw it with Lucifer, and it broke me. I won’t let it happen again.” He opened his eyes, wet now, and stared forcefully at Dean. Amara silently wrapped herself once more around her bother, offering as much comfort as she could.

“It was better to let it die, than to try to change what had been done,” Chuck said with finality. “Now, there is a new potential, a new beginning, one I hope will be better than the last.” Chuck looked down and was quiet for a time. In fact, the whole room was quiet, taking everything in they had learned, trying to wrap their heads around everything they’d been told. It was insane, and yet it made so much sense. Dean started to feel a small sense of hope, maybe he could do things right this time around. With Cas at his side and this new perception of the future events, he could do better, he could do things right even.

“Dean,” Chuck called, making Dean looked up. Chuck was looking at him softly, like a father-figure, but there was also hesitation in his face.

“We would like to speak to you, privately, about what has happened. If that is alright with you?” Dean glanced at Cas and his brother, suddenly nervous. The last time he’d had a one-on-one with Chuck and Amara he was about to blow himself up and the Universe was ending. Sam didn’t seem like he was all there, his eyes were far off and he was just staring blanking at a wall. Dean felt his worry spike, but he also knew how overwhelming everything they’d learned was. He looked to his mom, who already seemed different. She immediately smiled and nodded encouragingly.

“Go on, it’ll be good for you,” she said softly and even her voice seemed different, softer somehow. Dean turned to Cas who simple stared at him. A silent message passed between them. Choose what you want, and I will stand beside you. It gave Dean the push to finally stand up, legs not shaking this time, and nod.

“I’ll go with you.” That seemed to shake Sam from his trance enough for him to start. Dean looked at him and they shared their own private message. Dean gave Sam a cocky smile and Sam smiled tiredly back. Chuck nodded and stood up. The next second they were somewhere else.

Dean blinked and he was standing in the middle of a field. It actually looked like the woods near the bunker. A moment later Chuck confirmed it.

“We aren’t far, I just thought you’d want this discussion away from your brother.” Dean eyed the deities warily. Anything that needed to be said away from his brother usually wasn’t good.

“What is it?” he growled. Amara pulled herself away from Chuck and stepped toward Dean. She was hesitant, half holding her arms out. Her face showed clear signs of worry.

“Dean, may I, touch you?” she asked haltingly. Dean startled and stared at her. He eyed her warily once again and weighed his options. Amara had never hurt him before, and she was looking very insecure. If he said no, it seemed like a good chance that she would back down. She wanted to hug him, that was clear, but would he let her?

“Um, sure?” he said, still confused and way, way out of his element. Amara smiled softly and slowly approached him, first laying her hand on his shoulder and Dean couldn’t help the small flinch. He didn’t feel the rolling power and pulsing waves at the edges of his mind like last time she’d touched him, no, she just felt like a normal human. He relaxed a little. Amara’s smile grew and she finally reached forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, pulling him into her and down. Dean stood awkwardly for a moment as the literally personification of Darkness held him, before he slowly started to relax. Still awkward, he carefully wrapped his arms around her back. Amara relaxed even more and squeezed him tightly.

“I am so, so sorry, Dean,” she whispered, “I wish I could take away your pain and help more.” Dean had no idea what the hell was going on, but the words resounded deeply within him. He knew what she was talking about, he just didn’t want to admit he knew. And he didn’t know how she knew or even cared. This was getting weirder and weirder by the moment. But, as he stood there, wrapped in her arms, he realized it didn’t really matter. Here was someone who he trusted, at least a little bit, showing that they cared. He relaxed further into her hold and it seemed like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders. Amara tightened her arms and held him as Dean slumped in her arms. He was safe. In this moment, he was the safest man in the Universe. It was freeing.

-----

Amara finally pulled away and Dean straightened, feeling like he’d just come out of a nice long hot bath. He smiled easily at Amara as she grinned back. After a moment she turned and literally skipped back toward Chuck, who was smiling indulgently at the both of them.

“Though hugs are wonderful things, and Amara’s healing will certainly help in the long run, this wasn’t the only reason we asked you out here,” Chuck said. Dean jolted a little and his mind reran that many minute-long hug. He did remember feeling a little bit of the smoky tendrils of her energy but he’d though it was just her wrapping her . . . true form around him, like Chuck did with Cas. Apparently, she’d done a little more than that. He wanted to be pissed but the anger just . . . didn’t come. She hadn’t hurt him, and he did feel loads better. Amara was looking bashful behind Chuck and Dean gave her a small smile.

“Though I really wished you’d asked first, I’m not mad. Thanks for the boost.”

Amara looked down guiltily and said softly, “Would you have accepted if I’d asked?” Dean opened his mouth to say yes before stopping and thinking about it. Would he? He honestly didn’t know. This whole experience, this whole ordeal, had changed his opinion on so many things, he sort of felt as if someone asked him which way was up he would have to think about it. Amara, probably reading his thoughts, nodded.

“I’ll make sure to ask next time,” she said, determinedly. Dean nodded and turned his attention toward Chuck.

“What’s up?” he asked. Chuck turned a little more serious but there was still that soft fatherly look on his face.

“I wanted to talk about your lesson, Dean. It’s a hard one, and a complicated one. And I wanted to try and talk some of this out.” Dean rolled back on his heels, stuck his hands in his pockets, and forced himself to keep breathing. Fuck. This could not be good, especially since Chuck pulled him aside. Teachers only pulled kids aside when they’d fucked up royally.

“Dean,” Chuck continued, either not aware of Dean’s inner turmoil or pretending not to noticed, “it isn’t your job to take care of or watch out for Sam.” Dean’s eyes widened considerably and he opened his mouth to protest but Chuck held up his hand,

“No, please, listen to me, please,” Chuck literally pulled out the puppy dog eyes. How in the world God had puppy dog eyes Dean would never know, but they were fucking working, the bastard. He closed his mouth and nodded. Chuck smiled softly and continued,

“Dean, it isn’t your job the take care of or watch out for Sam, not anymore. Yes, it was once, but you are both adults. Sam is in his thirties; he can make his own decisions. I know how your dad put that responsibility on you. I know and understand how it’s all you know, but Dean,” Chuck paused again.

He made sure Dean was looking at him as he said what he said next, “Your dad, was wrong. You were a child, Dean, it was not and should have never been your responsibility to take care of yourself, let alone your brother. It was John’s responsibility and he chose to shove it onto a child. It was his crap and rather than act like a good parent, he forced it on you. John was the one to fail, not you. He never should have done that. You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve what he put on you, that strain. He is to blame, he failed you as a parent and as a person by putting that on you. But you don’t have to carry that burden, not anymore. You never should have been made to and I am truly sorry for what happened.”

Dean’s fist clenched and his head and heart howled, each yelling a different thing at him. His head was screaming that Chuck was wrong, that Dad was doing the best he could, that Dean could handle it. His heart yelled back that Chuck was right, that Dean knew Chuck was right. His heart told me what he’d secretly thought for years, Dad was wrong. Dad was wrong!

Dean literally felt his heart quiver and he let out a whoosh of breath. It was like a ton of bricks had lifted off his chest. He’d known, in the back of his head, that what his dad was doing had been wrong. All the things that had happened to him began to resurface, things from his past; the rugaru, Sonny, the Zanna, and on and on. The little things he noticed in some victims’ behavior, reflected in his own. It was all there staring him in the face, but he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t accept it, he had to push on, had to be strong.

But here was God¸ telling him he didn’t have to. No, here was Chuck, the being that had laid out his mistakes, his failures, when he was supposed to be perfect, for them all to see. He laid them bare and didn’t flinch. He knew that they would judge him, that they would ask for a punishment, but he’d done it anyway. He didn’t have to. Chuck didn’t have to explain, he didn’t have to do any of this. And yet he was, because he cared. He wanted them, not just Dean, but Sam and mom and Cas, to do better, to be the best they could be, and he would literally show them years of the future to make sure something horrible didn’t happen because of his own failures.

“Dean, you don’t have to hold the world on your shoulders. Not everything is your fault, sweetie,” Amara said softly, taking a step forward and looking at Dean with such compassion that Dean had to look away before his eyes start watering, well, watering more.

“Dean, you are important,” Amara continued, her voiced filled with conviction but also that summer-soft compassion, “not because of your connection to Michael, or because you stopped the Apocalypses, but because you are you. You just existing, are important. You matter. You have an importance that is just you, it has nothing to do with Sam. I know you feel like you keep failing your brother, and I know it won’t all be undone in on epic speech,” Dean chuckled watery at that and Amara smiled brighter,

“But, it wasn’t your fault. You are not responsible for your brother. Please, try to hold onto that idea. You are important for just being you, Dean. You are worthy of love! You’re life matters, sweetheart. It does. Please, please, try to look out for yourself too, take care of yourself and care about you first. Make yourself a priority, please. I feel you need to learn to stop making your life less than Sam’s. You matter, and there are people who love you dearly. You’re brother, Castiel, even you’re mother. There are others too, who care.” Silent tears were trailing down Dean’s face and he nodded. He didn’t know if he believed her, not yet, but to hear it so plainly, well he couldn’t brush off something like that. But he couldn’t face it head on, no, he wasn’t ready for that yet. So, he heard her, he took in what she said, and he would let it simmer on the back burner of his mind until he could face what she was telling him.

He nodded tightly and Amara smiled, stepping back and allowing her brother to speak once more. Chuck smiled and gave Dean a minute, looking around and smiling softly, face turned toward the sun and eyes closed. Once Dean had gotten his tears under control, Chuck opened his eyes and turned to face Dean.

“There is one more thing I need you to understand Dean. It’s about Sam.” Dean tensed, immediately on high alert. Chuck looked at him sadly.

“It’s nothing horrible, I’m hoping to explain his behavior. I know it’s probably very confusing, we’re dumping so much on you at once, but you need to know all this before moving forward, or things could be lost.” Dean thought for a moment before he nodded, it unfortunately made sense. Chuck smiled back a little before his face fell into that serious expression Dean recognized as Chuck’s ‘God’ face.

“I know you must be having a lot of mixed feeling concerning Sam right now,” Chuck started slowly, “And I know you’re conflicted, especially after everything we just told you. There are some . . .  extenuating circumstances that I’m hoping will explain why Sam did what he did.” Chuck sighed and Dean could tell he knew he was beating around the bush.

“Sam may not have been made to do what you had to do Dean, but that doesn’t mean John doted on him.” Chuck just dived in and Dean froze once again, “He left him alone, to be raised by you. Now, I’m not knocking your parenting skills, Dean, but for a small child, that’s very confusing. Your father was around enough to be seen as a parent and you as a brother, but at the same time you raised Sam. That’s a very conflicting picture Sam was given. He watched as John gave you all these responsibilities while he was treated as someone his age. Now before you say anything, I know you didn’t want them, but did you ever show that to Sam? In a way he would understand? All he saw was John trusting you. His only example of how a child should be treated was how John treated you. So, when he turned nine and still didn’t know how to shoot a shotgun, he felt babied, he felt like John thought he was weak, like he wasn’t a part of the family.

John treated you two very differently, but neither of those actions were doting. It may seem like it to you. But John isolated Sam in a way he didn’t for you. He refused to teach Sam at the same rate as you. To you that would seem like he was protecting Sam, and maybe he was, but with no explanation from either his brother who didn’t know why or John. Sam interpreted it as John didn’t think he was ready, that he was weak, that he wasn’t as important as you. Then he goes to school and sees how kids his age should be brought up and he wants that, he wants to be trusted, to be felt like he’s important. I believe that’s why Sam wanted a normal life so much.

As the years passed. John’s own insecurities about being able to protect you two grew. When he found out it was a demon who killed Mary, those only grew. He shoved that on Sam, tightened his hold, trying to keep Sam where he could keep an eye on him. But John’s paranoia grew, and he started to suspect something was wrong with Sam, that the demons had done something. Dean you must understand, John knew it was a demon before Sam turned twelve. He immediately suspected they may have done something to Sam. You saw how John treated him; he picked him apart, he was just as critical of him as he was you, he was suspicious of Sam. Sam picked up on it and it just reinforced Sam’s ideas that he was untrustworthy, that he was a freak that couldn’t be given responsibility and had to be kept on a tight leash.”

It was hard to wrap his head around, but Dean’s world view was slowly changing. He went over memories, random things from their past, and now with this new information things started to make sense.

“That was why he’s always trying to prove himself,” he muttered, still thinking back on all the times Sam would do something good and rather than praise, John would point out the negatives. It would always be Dean to praise, but Sam didn’t get the same affect for it. Amara spoke up then, her voice sad and soft.

“He needs to prove he can be trusted, similar to Castiel, but this is a deep ache since he was a little kid. He must do it on his own, prove he’s important, that he’s not weak, and that he can be trusted to make good decisions. Unfortunately, the demons played right into that. And the Apocalypse happened. Then the angels learned about it and used it against him again.” Dean nodded and finally looked up.

“Okay, I, I think I get it. But what can I do? How can I help this?” They both smiled softly, and Chuck picked back up.

“The first thing, and this is the most important part, Dean, so listen carefully. You have to show Sam he’s trusted. You have to show him that he’s important to not just you, but your family. You have to show him that he doesn’t have to prove anything. You have to decondition him from what John put him through. Prove to Sam that John was wrong.” Dean swallowed tightly and nodded. It would be hard, and he knew he would fuck up, but he would keep trying if that meant it helped both of them. Amara stepped forward and looked at Dean, her face just as serious as Chuck.

“There’s more Dean. It’s not as simple as showing Sam his value. It’s also standing up for your own. You have to let Sam make his own choices and deal with the consequences.”

“He has dealt with the consequences!” Dean growled, angry, “Do you know how much guilt he’s had for starting the freaking Apocalypse!?” Amara didn’t flinch, she simple fixed Dean with a patient stare.

“I do know that Dean, but you haven’t helped when you continuously remind him of his failings.” Dean flinched. He opened his mouth, planning to say something sharp, when the guilt crashed into him. Sam’s speech in that stupid church rang through his head again. He’d caused Sam to go that low, he’d tricked Sam into being possessed. Even if it was a vision, Dean know knew the feeling of being possessed. He can’t believe he put his brother though that.

“And you haven’t apologized for any of your actions. But that is not my point. Sam has been punished too severely. Being a Winchester, he doubled down and refused to listen, and so hasn’t truly learned the lesson. You have to let him fail. You have to Dean,” Amara sighed and thought.

“Sam isn’t a big picture guy like you are. He gets very hyper focused on things, which makes him an excellent researcher but not a very good leader. In the past, Sam has been so focused on the issue at hand that he hasn’t realized, hasn’t noticed, how it’s affected others. He gets so focused on his goal that he put blinders on and doesn’t see the consequences,” Amara locked eyes with Dean, making sure he understood what she was about to say.

“You have to stand up to him, Dean. You have to make him think not just about how things affect him, but everyone. You’ve got to take the kid gloves off and stop babying him or he’ll never learn to take you seriously. He brushes off a lot of what you say because you’re brothers. He won’t taking you seriously as a leader, as someone who knows what’s going on. He’ll just see his brother being bossy.” Chuck held up his hands when Dean opened his mouth.

“Now we’re not saying you should physically fight him or anything, or glare him into submission cause you know that won’t work. But we are saying you have to stand firm. You can’t bend to him. You can’t change your decision because he disagrees. You love your brother and you want what’s best for him, I get that, so I’m saying try to approach it calmly, try to talk out each side of a situation and find the best solution, together.”

“It sounds like you just contradicted yourself,” Dean muttered, while his thoughts raced. Amara and Chuck laughed and shook their heads.

“Dean, you have to be the judge of a situation. Sometimes you have to be soft on him and sometimes you have to stay strong and tell him no. It varies depending on the situation.” Dean nodded, thinking. It made sense. He’d just told Cas that he should have stayed strong on some situations. If he’d put his foot down with Ruby, if he’d spoken up more with Lucifer whispering in Sam’s ear, if he’d simply said no with Jack, so many things would be different. He needed to realize that Sam is not the most important thing in the world, if he can do that then when the time comes to make the decision between Sam and the world, maybe things will end up better. Dean sighed and looked back up at the deities.

“Alright. I, I hear ya. I get what you’re saying. I can’t promise I suddenly do a 180, but I will work on doing better.” Chuck and Amara nodded.

“That’s all we asked,” they said at the same time and then smiled at each other. Suddenly they were back in the Bunker. Dean looked around and saw that his mom and Cas were talking to each other quietly, heads close together, while Sam had pulled out his phone and seemed to be searching the web for something. Chuck cleared his throat, making everyone look up at him and stop talking. He smiled and turned his attention to Sam.

“Sam, if we could have a word?” Sam nodded, his face a mask of pain, anger, and regret. He stood up and walked toward Chuck and Amara, but Dean stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Sammy, I know we have a lot to talk about after all this is done, but for right now, I’m sorry.” Sam nodded, his jaw tight, but Dean saw the tears glittering in his eyes. On impulse he pulled Sam into a tight hug. Sam froze for a second before reciprocating.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Dean whispered, just loud enough for Sam to hear. Sam squeezed Dean tighter.

“Me too,” he whispered back. Their hug was longer than they usually allowed themselves, but Dean had decided to throw that stupid notion out the window. If he wanted long hugs with his brother, he damn well was going to give them. Finally, after both felt a little less shattered, they pulled away. Dean smiled at Sam and clapped him on the shoulder. A silent communication went between them and Sam smiled shakily. Dean stepped back.

“Ready?” Chuck asked and Sam nodded. The next second they were back in the field.

“This is my rest spot,” Sam said immediately, noticing the stump he usually sat on to catch his breath. Chuck smiled and nodded.

“We’re not far from the Bunker, I just wanted to bring you out here to talk about something personal.” Sam was instantly on high alert, watching Chuck in both confusion, curiosity, and trepidation. Chuck smiled softly at Sam, trying to put him at ease.

 “Sam,” he said calmly, “I wanted to tell you something, straight from me, because it’s one of the things that’s holding you back.” Sam tilted his head in confusion but nodded.

“Alright, what is it?” he asked, still confused. Chuck took a deep breath.

“Sam, you are not evil,” he said plainly. Sam froze where he stood and hunched his shoulders. Chuck continued to keep his eyes on Sam, but they were soft, fatherly, comforting.

“Sam you are not dirty or blackened or evil. The taint Azazel put into you was burned out of you when I saved you and Dean from Lucifer. I know what you have gone through and I forgive you,” Chuck said emphatically. Sam let out a shuttering breath and finally met his eyes.

“Really?” he asked in a small voice. Chuck and Amara smiled at him and nodded in unison.

“You are the brightest soul I have ever seen, Sam,” Amara said, her eyes wide and taking him in in a way that was more than skin deep. Sam’s eyes widened as well.

“What?” he breathed. Amara grinned at him before her eyes trailed back toward the center of his chest.

“You glow so brightly I would have mistaken you for an angel if Chuck hadn’t told me who you are. You are so beautiful. I can see so much strength in your soul. Yes, it’s worn and tired, but you are still so strong and so, so,” she struggled as she tried to convince Sam of her words. She paused and took a breath before locking eyes with Sam.

“Sam,” she said, her voice serious, a pleading edge to it, asking him to believe her, “you are so very worthy. You are worthy of rest and love and everything. You are worthy of being saved and I hope one day you believe me.” Silent tears were running down Sam’s face and his shoulders shook as he tried to rein in his sobs. He shook his head.

“I-I-I’m sorry,” he said, wiping at his face. Chuck stood and approached Sam, cupping his face and making the taller man look at him.

“There is no reason to be sorry. You were forced down that path by my children and the demons and I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry Sam for not stopping them, for not stopping them from making you feel like this. You are not dirty, you are not unclean, you are light, and you burn.” Sam’s resolve broke and he leaned into Chuck, sobbing. Chuck wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and ran a hand through his hair. He let Sam cry, not shushing him, just letting him cry out the years of pain and horror.

After a long time, Sam’s tears slowed and after a little while more he finally pulled away. He felt a little bit lighter. He wiped at his face and smiled brokenly at Chuck.

“Thank you,” he breathed. Chuck smiled and nodded.

“Of course, Sam. It will take time for you to heal, but I think you’re on the path,” he said, nodding to himself. Chuck stepped back and sat once more on his stool.

“Now, Sam, there is another thing I wish to talk to you about. Are you alright to continue?” Chuck asked. Sam nodded and straightened his shoulders.

“I’m good,” he said, and Chuck and Amara smiled.

“Good, there is another lesson I need you to understand,” Chuck said before he sat straighter and met Sam’s eyes, showing him just how serious he was. “Sam, you don’t have to prove anything. And, unfortunately, you trying to prove yourself has sometimes gotten you and your brother from bad to worse.” Sam hunched his shoulders and Chuck’s serious air softened just a little bit.

“Sam,” he said, “I need you to hear this and not just feel guilty. You must trust your brother when he says something isn’t right. Wouldn’t you want Dean to do the same for you?” Sam hunched even more in guilt. Chuck fixed him with an expectant look.

“Sam, if you told Dean something is wrong and Dean ignored you and did it anyway, how would you feel?” he asked. Sam shook his head but stopped halfway through the shake.

“I, I would feel betrayed. Like, like Dean didn’t trust me,” Sam said, his voice shaking as he refused to meet their eyes.

“Don’t you think that’s what Dean feels like?” Chuck probed. Sam swallowed tightly. Chuck sighed and raised his hand.

“Sam, I would like to show you something, is that okay?” he asked. Sam looked up at him and swallowed again before he nodded shortly. Chuck waved his hand and Sam was suddenly thrown back into memories he was achingly familiar with. The first time he met Ruby and Dean telling him he should have just exorcised her. Sam could feel Dean’s emotions, he could feel the worry and pain and fear Dean was feeling and his heart hurt. Over the next several minutes Sam went through many of the arguments he’d had with Dean, both old and new, when Sam had been so sure he was right, and Dean was begging him to just listen to him. Now, though, he felt what Dean felt: the betrayal, the threat of maybe losing his brother if he pushed too much, the worry that he was losing Sam anyway, the pain of giving in even though he knew something was wrong, the loss of trust when Sam hadn’t even tried to listen to him. Sam felt it all and he fell to his knees.

Chuck and Amara watched; their expression softly sad. “You did this Sam,” Chuck said softly, “you chose to not hear your brother out and this is what you put him through. You were so sure that you were right that you blinded yourself to him. When he pushed too much you threatened to take away his only family. You did that to your only brother, your family.” Chuck sighed sadly as Sam sat there in shock.

“Sam,” he said, making the man look up at him with a heartbroken expression, “I have learned through the worst possible way that I have to listen to the people I love, and if they say something is wrong, is bad, that it will hurt me, I’ve gotta hear them out. If I had just talked things out with Amara maybe all of this wouldn’t have happened. If I had just calmed down and talked with her, if we had weighed our options and worked together then we never would have been parted. This is the lesson you must learn, Sam, or you will tear your family apart and be left alone.” Amara stepped forward and looked at him sadly.

“Sometimes you are wrong, Sam. I was wrong,” she said, “and I literally almost destroyed the universe because I was so sure I was right, and I had to prove to Chuck I was right. I should have listened to him; I should have talked to him. I didn’t need to prove myself, and you don’t need to prove yourself. Dean knows you are enough, and he just want you to feel the same about him.” Sam felt the words like an arrow to his heart. Dean felt the same way? Dean, amazing, powerful, always first choice Dean, didn’t think he was enough? It was hard to wrap his mind around it but with the new knowledge of just what Dean felt during their arguments, it started to all fall into place.

“I, I’m sorry,” he said, not really knowing what else to say. Chuck and Amara nodded.

“We accept your apology, but we aren’t the only ones you need to apologize to. You’ve got to tell Dean that as well,” Amara said. Sam nodded and finally stood up. He squared his shoulders.

“I swear to you I will do better,” he said. Amara and Chuck nodded again.

“That’s all we ask.” Chuck said and Amara put a hand on his shoulder. Chuck looked at his sister and they had a moment of silent communication before Amara turned toward Sam.

“There is one more thing, Sam, that will help on your journey,” she said.

Sam nodded. “What is it?” he asked, ready for whatever she had to say. Amara shifted on her feet for a moment before deciding on a way to say what she needed to say.

“You are not a natural born leader, Sam,” she said bluntly, “You have this image, similar to what I had, of what a leader should be, but I don’t think you understand what a leader actually has to do. They have to make the tough choices; they have to deal with having people’s deaths on their hands if they make the wrong choice. It isn’t just giving orders, it’s losing sleep to make sure everything runs smoothly, it’s making quickfire decisions that could end in death. Being a leader is putting yourself last and sacrificing yourself for your men. It’s remembering every death that happened and shouldering that. And you, we, just aren’t built for that. And that’s okay.” Amara put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and met his eyes encouragingly.

“We can be the support. You’re a researcher, Sam. That’s what your good at. You catalog, you organize, you find and research and figure out things. You are a true Man of Letters: someone who makes hunting easier by having all the information. You’re an amazing hunter, you always have been, but where you excel over everyone else is your information gathering and your thirst for knowledge. You can hold everything you and Dean will ever need to know in your head. You don’t have to be a leader, Sam; you don’t need to be one. You work best as support and there is no shame in that. You don’t have to prove that you’re something you’re not. I know it will take time to accept but please think about what I’ve said, alright?” she asked, tilted her head in question.

Sam nodded silently. It was a lot to take in. Amara stepped back and came to stand next to Chuck. The two deities silently watched Sam as his mind raced, processing everything he’d been told. It would take time, but Sam was now on a better path. Chuck and Amara breathed in suddenly as the futures shifted and moved. They grinned at each other. Sam had accepted the change in his path, it would take a while before he started to change but he had understood and accepted what they said. Now that both Winchesters understood their paths, the future had shifted to accommodate it. This was exactly what they wanted.

“Are you going to be alright?” Chuck asked softly, looking at Sam. Sam looked up and nodded.

“I think so. Thanks for setting me straight,” Sam answered. Chuck and Amara nodded, and the scene shifted once more. They were back in the bunker. Sam immediately went over to Dean and wrapped him into a tight hug. Apologies were exchanged and promises to talk after were made.

The brothers’ relationship was on the mend, finally. Not everything was fixed in one conversation. They would both need to work on changing their behavior and sometimes they would fail, but now they know the cost of falling back into their old habits. Chuck and Amara knew they would have to check in every now and then to make sure neither regressed, but things were looking up.

“I think the only thing left we have to deal with is Lady Toni,” Chuck said after Sam and Dean pulled away from each other.

“Wait!” Sam said, “What about Gabriel?” he asked. Chuck chuckled.

“Gabriel is safe. I stopped him from splitting when he was attacked by Lucifer. He was never captured, and he’s been healing up in a pocket dimension ever since.” Sam nodded, looking slightly confused.

“Splitting? What does that mean?” Dean asked. Chuck smiled conspiratorially.

“I’ll let him explain that himself. You should see him around soon.” Dean groaned loudly while Cas and Sam’s face lit up. Chuck ignored them both and turned toward Lady Toni.

He snapped and she immediately started to stir. Chuck’s face lost all it’s warmth and he stood over her, Amara as always by his side. Lady Toni blinked and looked up at him. He didn’t allow her to speak.

“We have a lot to talk about, Missy,” he said like a disapproving parent but there was power thrumming through his voice that made her cower, “You and your colleague.” Chuck turned toward the Winchesters.

“I’ll fix up your security so that only approved people can come in. Would you like to see us off? We need to take care of the other one in the car outside,” Chuck asked pleasantly. The Winchesters exchanged looks before shrugging and smiling. They nodded to show Chuck their agreement, and Chuck snapped. Lady Toni disappeared and they were suddenly outside. They saw an SUV slightly down the road. Chuck crooked his finger and suddenly the car was gone. Lady Toni appeared along with another woman standing in front of them all.

“We have a lot to talk about and when we are done you are going to go back to your superiors and tell them the Winchesters are protected and if any of you try to hurt them, you’ll have to answer to me. Do you understand?” Chuck growled, the sky rumbling behind them. The two women nodded furiously, terrified. Chuck nodded and snapped again, making them disappear. He turned toward the Winchesters.

“Well, this is goodbye, for now. We’ll be around and we’ll come check up on you every now and then. We’ll hear you when you pray but we may not always come. Free will is still a thing and you still have to solve your own problems, alright?” Sam and Dean chuckled and nodded.

“Chuck, thank you,” Dean said, offering his hand. Chuck took it and nodded.

“Always,” he said. Dean then gently hugged Amara. Sam hugged Chuck and shook Amara’s hand. Mary simply waved and Cas hugged them both. With one final wave the deities disappeared and behind where they once stood the sun started to rise.

Dean wrapped one arm around his brother’s shoulder and the other around Cas’s waist, pulling them both against him as they watched the sun rise. Mary fitted herself against Sam’s side and they were silent for a long moment.

“You know,” Dean said, smiling and exchanging looks with his brother and best friend, “the future looks bright.”