Chapter Text
The clock was showing it was still early morning. He could hear the warbles of the birds housing in the trees and feel the morning breeze airing the light creamy tulle curtain. Last night he had drawn the shutters back to let the cool air inside to calm down Dongho’s feverish body.
Groaning at the bright sunlight breaking into the room viciously via the large glass wall, his too worn out body, because of the lack of sleep begging him not to open his eyes and keep sleeping nonstop for at least three days. Meanwhile, his conscious side knew he had to open his eyes, check on Dongho and start a brand new busy day.
Before his body started functioning properly, his arm stretched out to the other side of the bed to feel the presence of the warmness emitting from his husband. But his touch placed on the cold satin sheets on the bed instead of the feverish and hard chest. He immediately straightened his posture after feeling the empty and cold side of the bed, hating the feeling too much and called out to his husband.
“Dongho!”
Before he could get any response, the soft noise of the water coming out of the bathroom reached to his ears and he let himself sink in the cottony pillow in relief again. At least he is well enough to stand up on his own he thought smiling. Letting his eyelids close and listening to the quiet sound of water drops, he sighed.
The bathroom door clicked open a few minutes later and extremely pale looking Dongho came out. The fatigue of the fever was still noticeable on Dongho’s face. But even the said paleness and exhaustion hadn’t succeeded in clouding the gorgeousness of his wheat skin.
“Good morning” Dongho greeted him with a raspy voice, probably cause of the lingering illness. A small smile was garnishing his face.
“Morning. Are you feeling well?” Minhyun asked inquisitorially.
Dongho simply hummed, directing towards the large wardrobe and pulled out a green t shirt and ripped jeans. He had come out of the bathroom with a simple short, displaying his bare chest glory, his wet hair sticking on his forehead, a few water drops sliding down his chest. Minhyun had just forced himself to focus on his husband’s face restraining himself from ogling the man, starting with the head to the foot.
He pulled himself to sit on the bed, leaning on the headboard and asked confused
“Why are you getting dressed?”
The taller knew what his mouth had uttered may be a little bit out of the place but it wasn’t that he meant Dongho should be naked or display his all muscles conquering his upper body and delicious looking skin but maybe wear pajamas or something.
“I am going out”
Dongho said after hesitating for a few seconds and holding the attires against his bare chest.
WHAT! Minhyun's brain shouted and he interjected quickly
“If you need anything, I will get it. You have to stay in bed resting, Dongho” showing the bed
He knew his voice came out harsher than he had intended but fuck it. Dongho shouldn’t be going out. He should be resting right now, taking his medicines, eating a nutritional food, lying with him on the bed cuddling.
“I have to meet with Jonghyun”
Jonghyun ... I have to meet with Jonghyun.
The taller male repeated the same sentence silently but having a hard time to grasp the meaning. As if his all body got numbed alongside his brain. He blinked his eyes for a few times and then a sudden rush of emotions exploded in his blood.
JONGHYUN.
JONGHYUN.
I HAVE TO MEET WITH JONGHYUN.
He jumped out of bed, throwing the sheets aside covering his body harshly. Extreme anger boiling his insides made his hands clench into his fists. He really tried to control himself but no to avail.
“Are you serious? Really ?” A huffing sound escaped from his throat.
“YOU WERE BEING DELIRIOUS WITH FEVER JUST A FEW HOURS AGO!”
He shouted throwing his arms up and then realized Dongho had flinched slightly at his tone of voice. He let out a breath and counted till three trying to soften his voice.
“Is it really that important? Just call and tell him you are not feeling well. You should rest, Dongho. The doctor said...”
“I really have to see him. Minhyun-ah” Dongho said imporingly not even daring to look at his face.
Minhyun’s anger spiked up more as if it was possible. Dongho was begging to see his boyfriend.
“Alright. Do whatever you want” he hissed between his clenched teeth, not being able to control his outburst anymore and leaped out of the room, slamming the door. He could feel his hands shaking with rage, bursting his insides, like small needles sinking into his skin making him struggle to breathe properly. He was feeling oddly betrayed
The first thing he does on his two legs is to run up to his boyfriend while I am being a miserable husband here...
Fake husband... His mind corrected.
His anger suddenly dissipated and turned into sadness. And the sadness into the numbness.
The familiar ring of the bell chimed across the street once more while Dongho had been staring at the door for a while. He really didn’t know how much time he had spent watching the customers getting in and out of the store. In fact, he was scared to death of getting in and doing what he had intended to do. Even the sun shining brightly, calmly breezing wind, rustling leaves and spotless vibrant sky weren’t calming his nerves. The lingering weakness of the fever was still disturbing his balance and making his body shiver uncontrollably. Minhyun was right. He should have definitely stayed in the bed
Maybe I should do that another day he thought. But Minhyun’s disappointed features; the sadness and anger in his eyes were lingering in his thoughts since the taller slammed the bedroom door behind him. Clenching his teeth and straightening his posture, he tried to wipe away the scenes of this morning from his mind.
He breathed in a deep sigh and let it out with a slight tremble before pushing the glass door and making the bell ring again. Whatever happens, I will get over with it. Today.
The store wasn’t crowded, just a few customers wandering around and spending time at the games department.
Dongho’s eyes glanced through the place. When his eyes fell on Jonghyun, his heart throbbed with anguish at the sight of his friend. He knew today wasn’t going to end fine. He knew the thing he was about to do would harm maybe even destroy his friendship. His precious friendship.
Directing his way towards the brunette male; with every step, dread was filling his insides more, making him gulp the lump stuck in his throat. Neither colorful shelves nor silent hum of people was distracting his mind.
“Hi Jonghyun-ah” greeting his friend, congratulating himself for not shuttering or collapsing down because of the tension and over fatigue in his legs.
Jonghyun raised his eyes from the papers and looked at him. The surprise was visible on his face but as soon as his eyes focused on Dongho, surprise turned into worry.
“Dongho! Are you alright? You look ….bad” he got out of the counter and wrapped his arm around Dongho’s waist hesitatingly. Dongho flinched subtly from the touch cause of the oversensitivity impaled on his skin.
“Can we have a talk?” Dongho asked stepping away from Jonghyun’s touch. Various emotions sliding across Jonghyun’s face turned into awareness slowly. Jonghyun had probably realized Dongho’s odd behavior, directly stared into Dongho’s orbs, sensing something bad will happen.
“Is it going to be a serious talk?”
Dongho nodded. Jonghyun turned back, calling out Woojin
“Woojin -ah!! I am going out for a few minutes. Can you cover me up please?”
“Yeah hyung!” The younger exclaimed back, behind the shelves.
They both went out of the shop making the bell ring again. The irritation of the clothes rubbing against his skin was climbing up although the cool breeze squashing between his black strands, calming the forming sweat drops. The sadness, tension, disappointment and so many feelings weren’t helping his case, either.
The autumn had started to make its presence felt since the last week. And the late-summer lovers were scattered along the streets enjoying both the cool wind and high temperature, spreading from the sun. The parks, streets and cafes were starting to brim with the people as if a break were announced all over the country.
Jonghyun calmly walking beside him suddenly grabbed his wrist and speeded his steps towards a bank bench among the trees. When they placed themselves on the bench, Jonghyun tilted his whole body towards him
“It is really hard to find an empty bench here. Lucky us.” He said. Maybe he was trying to soften the tension between them. Maybe Jonghyun felt something would happen. Dongho didn’t know. But Jonghyun’s subtle attempt at softening the air didn’t make him feel better.
He cleared his throat
“You said this is going to be a serious talk, I am all ears”
Dongho for a few moments just gazed into his friend’s eyes. He knew he would irrevocably hurt Jonghyun and himself by the end of this requisite speech. Jonghyun had been his constant pillar of support since they were born. They were inseparable but Love. It was different. If he had a choice he would unquestionably want to fall in love with Jonghyun. But sometimes you had no control over what you feel or what you feel for whom.
“Dongho if this is about the last day, I was really ang..”
“Jonghyun- ah it….it is not.” He inhaled a deep breath and turned his face away from his friend, to the people wandering around. He didn’t want to see the hurt in Jonghyun’s eyes.
“I -I can’t, Jonghyun-ah. ……Whatever I do, I can’t.” He whispered silently as if that would soften the harshness of the sentence.
“You can’t… what, Dongho ?” Jonghyun questioned tilting his all body more towards Dongho
“I can’t…. do this anymore”
The silence hadn’t even hurted Dongho as it was hurting him now. The only subtle noise invading his senses was the throbbing of his heart and Jonghyun’s silent gasp. He couldn’t even dare to look at his friend and the long silence was broken with a whispered question.
“Do you love him …I mean… Minhyun?
“It is not about him, Jonghyun ah. It is about you and me.” He whispered
“And you couldn’t even say no.”
“I…..I am sorry.” Dongho could feel the prickles of the forming tears. Jonghyun let out a shaky breath that stuck in his throat for a while. He grabbed his knees and squeezed them before standing up. Dongho could feel the ghostly presence of his friend beside him in his bones. The wind sweeping the emptiness. When the brunette started walking, Dongho couldn’t stop his whimper and asked
“CA…can we be fr..friends again? “ Jonghyun didn’t turn his face towards the other.
“I.. I really don’t know, Dongho “
He whispered and starting to walk away again. Dongho felt the already formed tears sliding down his face as the distance arose between him and his best friend. The pain of losing someone so precious imprinted itself in his soul. And the flowing tears did nothing for the burning ache in his heart.
Minhyun threw himself on the leather chair with a huff. His body was overwhelmed by the emotions he had been fighting since he left Dongho in the middle of their bedroom. The crude anger was still loitering his insides. The raw emotions were not letting him calm his nerves down. The most domineering one was the hopelessness and it was making his insides twist in pain.
I have to see Jonghyun
I have to see Jonghyun
I have to see Jonghyun
He is never going to love me and this fucking marriage will end in 4 months.
Seongwoo had already placed himself on the armchair across from the dark wood table and his eyes were flipping between Minhyun’s closed eyelids and his clenched hands on the armrests.
“It hurts Seongwoo. It hurts too much. Why is it hurting so much?” Minhyun asked gulping and attempting at controlling his voice.
Minhyun knew Seongwoo wouldn’t answer the question and he wasn’t expecting him to answer, either. But the words, sentences, screams, exclaims were corrupting his whole existence. If he doesn’t let them out, they will drown him.
“I am tired of this. I feel like drowning under the water whenever I see him with Jonghyun. He just ran up to his boyfriend’s arms as soon as he started to walk on his own like I am just a nuisance for him. I can’t stand it anymore, Seongwoo. I can’t. I am gonna stop playing this fucking game”
The tears started to fall on to the wood table. Neither Seongwoo’s arms circling him nor his consoling words. The only thing he was aware of was the intense sorrow.
Seongwoo sighed,
“It will be alright, Minhyun-ah. Everything will be alright” tightening his circling arms around his friend.