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“…and I just don’t get how Mr Damocles could believe her like that!” Marinette waves her hands around, nearly spilling her orange juice all over the table. “A condition that makes her lie? There’s no such thing! And I don’t want to go into “you need official proof of your disability to be believed” territory, but with as many conditions as she says she has? Why hasn’t anyone called her mother and asked for everything they should know to accommodate her? Especially when I needed, like, ten pieces of paper just to prove to them that I’m autistic!”
Across from her, Kagami just smiles and takes a sip of juice. Why is Kagami smiling at a time like this? This is a disaster! Lila gets off scot-free, with an even more iron-clad excuse for lying, and Adrien is Kagami’s friend too, right? Why isn’t Kagami worried for him?
“How can you smile when she’s just gotten away with it again?” Marinette bursts out. “Especially after how she hurt you with that picture of her kissing Adrien?”
“I’m going to choose to take your statement as worry for me after what Lila did to me and not an accusation, since I know you meant the former,” Kagami says rather calmly. “And if you would stop allowing your contempt for Lila to cloud you, you would see that she’s just handed you victory on a silver platter.”
“Me? She’s the one who gets to lie about everything!” Marinette says.
“Exactly,” Kagami says. “She supposedly has a condition that makes her lie uncontrollably. You have an admission that she’s a liar from the horse’s mouth. How long will it take before people start to doubt her word? And they will hear about her condition. Mr Damocles will have to inform Ms Bustier, so there’s no chance that the rest of the class won’t find out.”
“And if Lila somehow manages to keep it from them?” Marinette says. Kagami’s smile widens into something that a predator might give their prey before going for the jugular.
“Whether or not she keeps it from them, she’s backed herself into a corner,” Kagami says. “Now is the time for calmness, Marinette. Fall back and strategise. First of all, you have to ingratiate yourself with your classmates again.”
“Ingratiate myself with them?” Marinette scowls and takes a violent swig of juice. “After they doubted me and shoved me to the back and – and treated me like –”
“If you want to take down Lila, you have to play the long game,” Kagami says. “That means winning over your classmates. You’ve tried the direct approach and where has that gotten you?”
“I know, I know,” Marinette sighs. “Just…all that’s necessary for evil to triumph is that good people do nothing.”
“You won’t be doing nothing,” Kagami says. “Doing nothing would involve shrugging and writing your classmates off as a lost cause, allowing Lila to have them. That’s not what you’re doing. You’re falling back and searching for another angle of attack, just as Ladybug and Chat Noir would temporarily retreat from a battle to find another way to attack the akuma. To achieve your ultimate goal, sometimes you have to accept a few losses.”
Marinette stares. How…how has she never thought of it that way? “God, why didn’t I talk to you before?” she says. Kagami’s lips twitch.
“Because we weren’t friends before,” she says. “Now, here’s the plan to take Lila down. I do warn you, though, it involves playing nice with her.”
With a groan, Marinette thumps her head on the table. “It’s not like I can do anything else,” she mumbles into the wood. “Fine. What’s the plan, Kagami?”
“Alright,” Marinette sighs, staring at the school building looming over her like a gigantic akuma. “You can do this.”
“It’s okay to be nervous!” Tikki says. “After being expelled yesterday, I’d feel nervous about facing my classmates too!”
“It’s not just that,” Marinette says. “I…have to be nice to Lila. I have to sit there and let her lie and just smile along with it!”
“Well, Kagami did have a point,” Tikki says. “The direct approach isn’t getting you anywhere. All you can really do now is let her lie herself into a corner.”
“Which is what Adrien told me to do. Bet he didn’t think I’d get expelled over it.”
“Adrien didn’t think she was much of a threat. You’re coming from a completely different angle, Marinette! You’re taking the active approach to letting her hang herself.”
“True…” Marinette squares her shoulders and marches through the school gates. “I can do this! I’m strong! I’m confident! I’m Marinette!”
“That’s the spirit!” Tikki cheers.
Marinette’s burst of confidence lasts right until she’s outside the classroom door, where Lila’s holding court with her loud lies about hanging out with Clara Nightingale or something like that. She gulps and clenches her fists. Nope. She can’t do this. She can’t face them. She can’t stand there and look at Lila’s smug little smirk and feel like she’s letting Lila get away with this –
Something bats against her thigh. It’s Tikki, still inside her purse, who looks up and gives her a reassuring little smile. Marinette swallows, then nods and pushes the classroom door open. Almost as though she’s walking to the gallows, every single classmate falls silent and turns to stare at her.
Fantastic. Everyday Ladybug, her arse.
“Oh, Marinette!” Lila clasps her hands to her chest. “I’m so happy to see you’re back! I’m so awfully sorry, I didn’t mean to get you expelled!”
“It wasn’t your fault, Lila!” Kim says. “You can’t help your condition!”
Ah. So, Lila has told them about her supposed condition. That makes Marinette’s job a lot easier. She pastes on a smile and tilts her head.
“I’m so sorry, Lila,” she forces herself to chirp. “I had no idea about your condition! I just really hate liars, see, and I saw you as a threat to my friends, and I’m so used to protecting them from Chloé. If I’d known that you couldn’t help it…”
“Wow, thanks,” Chloé drawls. Something flashes in Lila’s eyes, too fast for anyone else to see.
“You were just worried for us?” Rose rushes over and throws her arms around Marinette. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you, Marinette! It’s so good that you’re apologising!”
“Yes, Marinette, thank you for your apology,” Lila says with a tight-lipped smile. “I completely understand your reaction. And it’s so noble that you were just trying to protect your friends.”
With that, something in the atmosphere seems to shift, like Lila’s welcomed Marinette into the fold and her classmates have once again accepted her. It takes every little shred of willpower to keep smiling and not go on the attack, but Marinette forces herself to take her seat and listen to Alya’s speech about coming to her senses and pushing her jealousy aside.
God, this sucks.
“…and she said, “Oh, Lila, I simply must make up a music video about you! You have to be in it!” But you guys know me, I simply can’t bear the attention –”
“That must have been so hard for you, Lila!” Marinette says. It’s been a week of this, a week of pretending that Lila’s a saint, and god, if she wasn’t doing this to avenge Kagami for the Oni-chan thing just as much as for herself, she’d have lost her shit by now. “After the song that Jagged Stone wrote about you, it must have been so tempting to let Clara Nightingale make a music video about you!”
“Oh, yes!” Max says. “You did mention that Jagged Stone had written a song about you, Lila!”
“Can’t hate attention that much, then,” Chloé scoffs. Although she cops a few glares, there are also a few quizzical looks aimed at Lila.
“Oh – well, a song is so different to a music video!” Lila says.
“Not really?” Nino says. “They’re both songs, dude. One’s just got visuals.”
“And Nino would know,” Marinette says. “He’s the best DJ and filmmaker around!”
“Dude!” Nino reaches back to fist-bump her. Next to him, Adrien’s watching Marinette with a furrowed brow, like he’s trying to figure out why Marinette’s been so chummy with her mortal enemy for the past week. But she’s not confiding in him after that photoshoot. She’s telling no one. No one apart from Kagami. The last thing she needs is for Lila to get wind of what’s going on, if she doesn’t already suspect it.
“Well…it just felt odd, you know?” Lila says. “Jagged wrote that song because I saved his kitten, but I haven’t really done anything for Clara!”
The class seems to accept that. But Marinette doesn’t miss how a few of them, like Nathaniel and Alix, stare at Lila with frowns even after Ms Bustier arrives and calls the class to order.
“Hey, Marinette, can I talk to you real quick?” Adrien says once class is over and they’re filing out. Marinette forces herself to smile.
“Sure!” she says. She hasn’t really spoken to Adrien since the photoshoot he’d done with Lila, more for his sake so that she doesn’t explode about colluding with the enemy, but maybe it’s time to clear the air between them and just…get it all out there. Keenly aware of Lila’s scorching glare on the back of her neck, she follows Adrien out of Ms Bustier’s classroom and to the locker room, which is thankfully empty since it’s lunchtime.
“Do you…believe Lila about her condition?” Adrien says once the locker room door is shut and they’re separated from the rest of the school. Marinette scoffs.
“Of course I don’t,” she says. “But Kagami told me –”
“Kagami? You’re friends with Kagami?”
Marinette stares. “Yeah…though I don’t know what that’s got to do with this.”
“Nothing. I just…always got the impression that you didn’t like each other.”
“Not at first. But we sorted it out. Anyway, she told me that I have to play along with Lila’s condition, make myself look innocent, and Lila will eventually lie herself into a corner.”
“Which is what I said when she got back here, didn’t I?” Adrien says. Marinette raises an eyebrow.
“No,” she says. “You said to just let her be. Kagami told me to push her into lying herself into something she can’t escape while being all nice about it.”
Adrien winces. “Right. Marinette…I’m really sorry. I thought Lila was just an attention seeker. If I’d known she was that dangerous…I shouldn’t have let you get expelled before doing anything.”
“Like having a photoshoot with her?” Marinette says. Her eyes widen seconds after those words slip out. “S-Sorry! I’m sorry! That was really rude –”
“No, no, you’ve got every right to feel hurt,” Adrien says. “I didn’t know what to say before, or I would’ve come to you days ago. I didn’t want to be in that photoshoot with her. I only agreed so that she’d tell another lie to get you un-expelled.”
“You –” Marinette’s eyes widen. Everything makes sense now! Why else would Lila care about undoing her damage? “That was you? You sold your soul for me?”
“Of course I did.” Adrien crosses his arms. “You’re my friend. And if I’d done something before now, you wouldn’t have been expelled. Or nearly akumatised!”
“Adrien –”
“Do you know how terrifying it was to see you with that Hawkmoth mask over your face?” Adrien’s green eyes seem to plead with her very soul to understand. “To watch our everyday Ladybug nearly get akumatised? You’re so – so strong, Marinette. You always manage to stay positive and figure out a solution to the problem. Seeing you about to give in to Hawkmoth…it didn’t hit me until then just how bad this Lila problem was.”
Her cheeks flaming with the blood that pours into them, Marinette looks down at the floor and tries to form a coherent sentence, both in her mind and out loud. But what comes out of her mouth is something that vaguely sounds like a strangled groan; certainly nothing resembling words.
“So long as Lila leaves you alone, I’ll put up with her,” Adrien says. “Think of it as my contribution to yours and Kagami’s plan. The inside man, right?” Then he winks. Dear god, how is Marinette still alive?
“I – um – you shouldn’t – it’s your body!” she manages to babble. Adrien’s volunteering to do this for her? “You shouldn’t have to put up with someone treating you like a living mannequin!”
“She’s going to do that anyway,” Adrien says. “Remember what happens whenever we call her out? I might as well make use of it. It’s the least I can do for letting it get this far.”
“Um – uh – if sure you – if you’re sure!” Marinette forces out. She clears her throat and straightens up. “But you have to detox with me and Kagami. If that won’t hurt your plan, of course…”
“It won’t,” Adrien says. He rests a hand on her shoulder and yep, Marinette is deceased right now. “Lila can’t stop me from hanging out with my friends. And the odd photoshoot here and there will keep her happy. All she wants is attention, so if I give it to her, she won’t see you coming.” With another wink as he slides his arm around her, he says, “I’ll be the Chat Noir to your Ladybug.”
Marinette groans and shoves him. “You’d better not pun like he does or I’m tattling to Kagami.”
“I make no pawmises,” Adrien says with a grin that makes him look scarily like Chat Noir.
“Nope. That’s it. Get out. I can’t be seen with you.”
“You know, I never thought you two would actually get along,” Adrien says. “What exactly were you two fighting about?”
“Oh, you know,” Kagami shrugs. “How we were both crushing on you and thought the other was the spawn of Satan.”
Marinette chokes on her mouthful of André’s mint and raspberry ice cream (why raspberry? Last time it had been peach. Oh, well). How can Kagami just…up and say that? Doesn’t she have any shame?
“Oh, is that all?” Adrien laughs and licks his strawberry choc-chip and blackberry ice cream. “I thought it was something serious.”
“We eventually figured out that we were just a couple of idiots and it wasn’t worth fighting over a boy!” Marinette says in a high-pitched voice. Well, Kagami’s outed her, so she may as well roll with it. Although for some reason, she’s not mad at Kagami like she’d be if Alya just went up and told Adrien about her crush; probably because Kagami had as much to lose as her if Adrien took it the wrong way. And Kagami might not even have realised that you shouldn’t just up and tell your crush that you like them, considering her previous lack of social skills every other time Marinette’s talked to her.
“Good,” Adrien says. “I hate it when my friends are fighting.”
The tension in Marinette’s shoulders starts to melt away like ice cream on a hot day. So…Adrien doesn’t hate her for crushing on him. He’s not even making a big deal out of it. That’s…actually a relief.
“So, um…” Marinette forces out. “Are anyone you crush, Adrien? I mean – are you crushing on anyone?”
Adrien stares at her, then laughs. “Is that why you act weird around me? Thank god. I was worried that you still secretly hated me for the gum thing.”
“No! Never!” Marinette shakes her head wildly.
“Sorry, the gum thing?” Kagami says.
“Chloé put gum on her seat on my first day and she thought I’d done it because I tried to take it off,” Adrien says. “I managed to catch her after school and explain the misunderstanding but…I thought she still hated me for it and was just putting up with me.”
“Try the exact opposite,” Marinette groans. Her face must be just as scarlet as Adrien’s ice cream at this point, but she’s not dying or being horrifically rejected, so that’s something at least. “You gave me your umbrella and boom, it was…l-love at first sight.”
Kagami actually laughs long and loud at that, even throwing her head back. It’s so unlike her that both Marinette and Adrien are rendered silent as they stare at her in awe.
“Um…wow,” Marinette eventually says. “Have you checked her ice cream for drugs or something?”
Kagami hiccups and shakily licks her scoop of bright pink dragonfruit ice cream that’s neatly cushioning the same mint as Marinette’s. What that could mean, Marinette has no idea.
“There must be an akuma around,” Adrien says.
“You’re both awful,” Kagami says, her shoulders shaking with the last of her laughter. “And you’re both oblivious. So, Adrien, who is this girl you’re in love with if it’s not Marinette? I was always under the impression that Marinette was your target.”
Adrien blushes. “Don’t laugh, okay?” he says. “I’m in love with Ladybug.”
Beep. Beep. Marinette.exe has crashed. Adrien’s…in love with her? But not her? But yes her, he just doesn’t know it?
“Ladybug?” Kagami says. “Of course you’d fall for a superhero. Adrien Agreste can’t do anything by halves.”
“Well, she picked me to be a hero and I utterly trashed that opportunity, so I’ve probably got no chance with her,” Adrien says. “Maybe I need to focus on people a little closer to me.”
“You didn’t trash that chance,” Marinette squeaks. “You did your best every single time.”
Adrien frowns at her. “Every single time? How do you know which Miraculous Ladybug gave me? I Second Chanced every time I was out in public, so no one should’ve known.”
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckmissionabort –
“Hold on…” Also frowning, Kagami leans in so close that Marinette can count each freckle on her pale cheeks, and Marinette’s so flustered by Adrien tilting his head at her and Kagami’s breath ghosting across her face that she doesn’t realise what’s going on until Kagami’s moved her hair aside to expose her black earrings. Adrien’s frown changes into bulging eyes.
Fuck!
“Oh my god, really?” Adrien throws his free hand in the air. “Of course she’s you! Of course she’s you! How didn’t I see it before? The one girl who’s just as brave and kind as her and I didn’t even – I’m an idiot.”
“No arguments there,” Kagami says dryly. “Thank you for trusting me to be Ryuuko, by the way. And for the advice.”
Marinette’s brain has once again shut down. Two people know her secret identity. How could she be so stupid and let something like that slip? “You can’t tell anyone!” she finally manages to say. “My secret identity is vital!”
“I know,” Kagami sighs. “Hence why I can’t be Ryuuko again.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Adrien holds up his right hand to show the silver ring he’s always worn. Except…no way…could it be…it can’t…but…
“Oh my god.” Kagami pinches the bridge of her nose. “So, you’ve been in love with each other without even realising. This is like those awful soap operas that people seem to enjoy watching.”
“You and your stupid puns!” is the first thing out of Marinette’s mouth when she’s finally able to speak again. “All this time! You’re such a – such a dork!”
“I know!” Adrien looks like the cat that got the cream. “But you secretly love my puns, milady.”
That nickname coming from Adrien’s mouth? Stuff Marinette in a coffin right damn now. “As if,” she scoffs. “They’re awful.”
“Don’t you mean –”
“No!” Marinette and Kagami shout.
“– clawful?”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Marinette says. “You can have him, Kagami.”
“You claimed him first,” Kagami says. “He’s all yours.”
“How about we just forget about him and date each other?” Marinette wrinkles her nose.
“Sounds like a plan, Marinette.”
“Hey!” Adrien whines.
“It was so cool of you to organise this picnic for Lila, girl!” Alya says. She nudges Lila. “Right?”
Lila’s smile is thin and sour, like someone’s replaced the lemon tart on her plate with an actual lemon. “Yes, Alya. It’s very considerate of Marinette.”
“I just wanted to make up for our rough start!” Marinette says. It’s kind of funny how she’s just naturally slipped into being as sugary sweet to Lila as possible, but after seeing how it annoys Lila to no end that she can’t actually retaliate without looking bad, it’s gotten easier over the past few weeks. Huh. She so owes Kagami a massive box of pastries for this.
“Hey, guys!” Adrien waves as he approaches with Kagami. Lila gasps and smiles brilliantly.
“Adrien! You made it to my picnic!” she says.
“Of course I did,” Adrien says and sits down next to Marinette, pulling her to lean against him. Thank god she’s been able to equate Adrien and Chat Noir in her mind since their outing to get ice cream; now, when he touches her, her cheeks only grow warm and her brain thankfully doesn’t turn to mush. “And I brought a friend, if that’s okay?”
“Lila, right?” Kagami says with a smile that’s all teeth as she also sits down and pulls Marinette’s legs into her lap. “My name is Kagami. Adrien’s told me so much about you.”
“He has?” Lila smiles at Adrien, though Marinette’s certain that she can see a wariness beneath that smile. “All good things, I hope.”
“Trust me, I’ve heard nothing but the best information from him,” Kagami says. “I’m so glad that he’s found a girlfriend he’s really close with.”
“Girlfriend?” Alya scoffs. “Lila’s just a friend. You must’ve heard wrong or something.”
“Yes, of course,” Kagami says. “Sorry for my presumption. After that photo you took with him and the photoshoots…well, I seem to have gotten the wrong idea.”
“Lila told me once that Adrien would be hers, so I don’t blame you,” Marinette says and passes Kagami a plate of macarons. Kagami eagerly selects a strawberry one.
“Oh! I meant to say that he’d be my friend!” Lila says. Marinette covers her mouth to conceal her smirk.
“Really? I’m sorry for misunderstanding!” she says. “What with your condition and all…now it makes sense. I was a little confused what you meant by that, since you can’t really own a person, and I suppose that must have added to my bad feelings.” With a sweet smile, she adds, “But we’re friends now, so no harm done!”
“Yes,” Lila says. “Friends…”
“You’re so stiff!” Marinette says to Kagami, pulling her down so that she’s snuggling against Marinette’s side. “This picnic is all about relaxing!”
“In that case…” Adrien heaves so that Marinette’s sitting in his lap, and she shuffles around to lean back against his chest so that Kagami can lie across her thighs. Now Lila looks like she’s swallowed nails, while Alya’s eyes are bulging at the sight of her ship snuggling.
“Excuse me, girl, but when did this happen?” Alya says.
“A few weeks ago,” Marinette says. “Kagami and I ended up spilling to Adrien. Now we’re all good friends!”
Yeah. Very good friends. But the others don’t need to know that, especially since Marinette and Adrien are not only going slow with figuring out what’s between them, but Marinette’s also been unable to get the memory of Kagami’s breath across her face out of her head.
Oh, well. Such is life. And if navigating the prehistoric days of having both a girlfriend and a boyfriend is currently occupying her mind more than Lila, well, Marinette counts that as a win.
“I’m so happy for you!” Lila says with a wide, plastic smile. “And a little envious, I must say. After the drama with my boyfriend in Germany –”
“Mhm,” Alya says. “Not the one in Argentina?”
“Oh – no, this is a different one –” Lila splutters. Alya just shrugs and turns to offer the croissant plate to Rose and Juleka.
Okay. So, Kagami may have been right about this one. Sure, Lila might have thought that she was giving herself a free pass with her “condition”, but now no one really takes her seriously anymore. No one hates her or anything but, well…no one really seems to believe her or care about what she says either. Probably because every word out of her mouth is about her, and people are finally starting to realise that a) she doesn’t actually talk about anything else and b) her promises still haven’t come to fruition.
It does mean that no one’s actually apologised to Marinette, but oh well. C’est la vie. At least they’re not treating her like the devil anymore. And Lila’s largely harmless now, so that’s something as well. She can’t exactly get akumatised once a week or whatever as well; not without drawing undue attention to herself, since even Chloé hasn’t been akumatised more than three times, if one counts Heroes’ Day.
“Your parents’ pastries are magical,” Kagami says, reaching for a blueberry muffin. “They could melt even my mother.”
“My father would probably demand I marry her instantly,” Adrien snorts. “Not just for the pastries, but for her talent. “Snatch her up before Audrey Bourgeois, son!” he’d say if he actually spoke to me more than once a year.” He makes a face.
“You’ll have to defeat me for Marinette’s hand,” Kagami says dryly. Adrien smirks and boops her on the nose.
“Fatality,” he says, and Marinette snorts.
“You know what?” Alya throws her hands up. “I give up. I don’t understand you weirdoes. I’m gonna go find Nino and leave you three to be…whatever you three are.”
“Bye, Alya!” Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami chorus at her back. Now they’re left with Lila, who checks to make sure that no one’s looking before snarling at them.
“What are you three up to?” she hisses.
“What do you mean?” Adrien says. “I realised that I liked both Marinette and Kagami, and they liked me too.”
“And each other,” Marinette says, running her fingers through Kagami’s silky, dark hair.
“Why are you being so nice?” Lila jabs a finger at Marinette. “You hate me! And I know Kagami does too! Adrien, you’re supposed to be my –”
“Your friend?” Adrien says. “Of course I am, Lila. I did say that before our photoshoot, didn’t I?”
Marinette smiles at Lila, sugary sweet, not even finding satisfaction in how Lila’s bottom lip juts out and quivers like she’s going to throw a fit. Maybe the Marinette of a few weeks ago would have, but now? Honestly, she just pities Lila. Marinette’s the one with a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and she and Kagami are the ones that Adrien likes. So, she reaches over to pick up the plate of macarons and holds it out to Lila.
“Want a macaron, friend?” she chirps.